InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Aftershocks and Indemnify ❯ With Him ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N: Thank again to those who have reviewed so far and to those who wished me ahappy birthday. This chapter marks the end of Part 1. Part 2 (Indemnify) will continue this story and is is two chapters. Warning: There is a Lime in this chapter (solo)

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha and will make no money from this.

InuYasha followed Kikyou through the trees, his shoulders slumped and his ears drooping. They walked for quite a while before she turned to face him. “Tell me InuYasha is the only reason you are with me now because of your promise?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.” he replied.

“Do you really love her?” Kikyou asked.

“With all that I am. I will go with you to hell as I promised but my heart and my thoughts will be with her.” he admitted unashamedly.

“What is it about her that makes her so different from me?” Kikyou asked. “What did she do that you would forget about what we had?”

“What did we have Kikyou?” he replied. “Kagome taught me to trust, she taught me that I shouldn’t have to change to be accepted. She reminded me what it was to be loved as I am. I cared for you. You took away the pain of loneliness, but you couldn’t love me not as I was, and I, well I didn’t know what love was.”

“If I were to release you from your promise would you leave me to go to her?” she asked.

“Yes.” he answered.

Kikyou said nothing more and continued to walk. InuYasha wondered where they were headed, but knew it didn’t matter in the end the destination would be the same and his life was hers. As they walked he let his mind wander and imagine Kagome, his beautiful Kagome.

He pictured his stubborn, reckless, loyal, loving Kagome sitting under the Goshinboku holding their pup in her arms; maybe she would be singing softly or telling their pup stories of their time together. He almost wished he could picture her cursing him for the bastard he was for leaving her to raise their pup alone, but he knew that she would never do that, so he settled for hearing her sing softly to their little girl.

Yes, the pup would be a beautiful little girl with her mothers smile and pure heart. Perhaps the only part of him in their child would be his amber eyes and two furry ears for her mother to rub. He blinked and noticed Kikyou looking at him strangely and realized his cheeks were damp.

He started to get embarrassed and to drag his sleeves across his face, but he stopped himself. Kagome wouldn’t be ashamed of him or think him weak for the things he was feeling and she was the only one who really mattered. He had finally realized this, even though it was already to late. He would not broadcast his sorrow, but the tears he shed did not make him weak. They were proof of his love and that love entitled him to grieve for the pup he would never see and the mate whom he had left with a broken heart. Kagome might not have it in her heart to curse him, but he cursed himself. He deserved hell for leaving her.

“What?” he barked at the un-dead miko as she continued to stare.

“I have never before seen you shed tears.” She replied as she turned away and resumed walking, offering no further explanation.

“Yeah, well I do a lot of things you ain’t seen.” He muttered.

If she heard him she made no notice of it as they continued to walk. They walked through the night and once again InuYasha was struck with how unnatural Kikyou was now. She didn’t need to sleep or even to eat to sustain her body. All she needed was the souls of the dead. They didn’t stop until the following night.

They came upon a cave and she turned to InuYasha. “Is it empty?”

He sniffed the air several times. “Yeah, nothing’s been here for a couple of weeks.”

“Gather wood for a fire. I need not the warmth but I do not wish to be in the dark.” Kikyou told him.

He wanted to tell her to go to hell. At that thought a mirthless laugh escaped him. That was exactly what she had planned after all. He ignored her curious look and gathered kindling for a fire, which he would no doubt be expected to start. While he was out he killed a rabbit and brought it back with him to cook. He might be hanyou but he did need to eat sometimes.

If he had been with Kagome he would have prepared it for cooking before returning with his kill, but he couldn’t care less if it would upset Kikyou, though he doubted it would. He started the fire and was tempted to consume the rabbit raw, just to see if he could get a reaction from her, even though his human side didn’t care for uncooked meat at all.

InuYasha kept his gaze off Kikyo. She only served to remind him of Kagome. When the meat was done he tore into it with no regard for the miko.

“Would you not offer me any of your meal?” She asked.

He looked up at her. “Why would I do that? I know you don’t need to eat and besides you want me dead so why the hell should I feed you.”

“Courtesy, or duty.” Kikyou offered. “Would you not feed your mate?”

InuYasha narrowed his eyes at her. “You ain’t my mate and you never will be.”

“But I could be.” Kikyou said. “You have not bound her to you with your youki. You could bind me. Share your soul with me and restore me to life, then we could live together as we were meant to before Naraku’s deception.” She scooted closer to him. “I would not refuse you my body. You have but to ask.”

“First of all Kagome is my mate whether I bound her soul to mine or not.” InuYasha said coldly. “Second you didn’t want to let a dirty hanyou touch you or have you forgotten. I know I sure as hell haven’t. If Naraku hadn’t tricked us we’d both have been dead years ago. So if you’re dragging this out hoping to change my mind then you might as well open up the gate to hell now because it ain’t going to happen.”

“We shall see.” Kikyou said and returned to the other side of the fire.


With the dawn Kikyou announced that they were leaving and InuYasha followed. He wished that she would just get this over with already. She had made him leave in such a hurry and now here they were walking around doing nothing. If she wanted to see the world she could have done that without him and come for him when she was really ready to go to hell.

Midday passed and since her announcement that it was time to move on neither had spoken a word, which was fine with InuYasha. He didn’t want to talk to her. It also allowed him more time to reminisce about Kagome and the wonderful days and nights he had spent with his mate.

He could picture her sitting on top of him, a thin sheen of sweat covering her body, small droplets rolling down the curves of her perfect breasts. The way she had sounded as she moved on top of him. The way she had looked at him with deep love filled eyes and how she had cried out his name time after time, never tiring of being with him, never refusing him when he asked for her body, and above all never denying him the whole of her heart.

His body was aching for her and he needed the release only Kagome could bring with her small hands, and her gentle caresses, with the loving way she rubbed his ears and how she felt when she was wrapped around him. A release that went so much beyond simply satisfying his body.
The youkai inside him raged and threatened to tear apart his mind. It screamed for him to return to his mate, that a promise to one of the dead was nothing compared to the promise to his living breathing mate, but he couldn’t break his word to Kikyou. If he did he would be even more unworthy of Kagome.

Kagome, his light, his salvation, the one thing in this world that made complete sense. His Kagome who was too good and too pure to blame him for his promise even though it kept him from her. He wanted to scream to drive his claws into his chest and bleed his life’s blood out onto ground to feel the pain he deserved. He didn’t know what hurt most, that he was leaving her, or that she understood.

He stopped walking and Kikyou looked back at him. “Stay here. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t follow me.”

Kikyou watched him take off into the trees before masking her scent and following him.

InuYasha came to a stop and fell to his knees. He dug his claws into his hands and let his blood stain the earth. He couldn’t get her face out of his head. Her smiles, the way she looked when she reached her ultimate release, the sounds of her laughter and her moans as he pleasured her. He knew that she would never take another. It wasn’t in her to betray him even if he was no longer in this world.

“Fuck.” he roared thrusting his hand into his hakama and gripping himself to the point of pain.

Kikyou watched as InuYasha moved his hand with along his length in so roughly and quickly that she was sure he must be causing himself pain. She approached careful to remain silent and undetected. He had his eyes closed and his jaw locked.

She ran a hand along the side of his face and noted that he leaned into her touch. He threw his head back and howled loudly as he climaxed. It was followed by a short exhalation of her reincarnations name.

“Kagome..” He said quietly leaning into her hand. InuYasha panted lightly enjoying his mate’s tender caress, until he realized that the hand on his cheek was cold and the scent of death filled the air. He jerked his head away and glared at Kikyou. “Don’t fucking touch me.” He stood and quickly fixed his clothes.

“Make me yours and I will allow you to live. Restore me and your child will know its father.” Kikyou offered. “Love us both InuYasha, we share a soul, we are the same.”

He spun on her. “You are not the same as Kagome.”

“Would you not even consider what I am proposing, not even for the sake of your child?” Kikyou asked. “You need not decide now. Think on it.”

InuYasha did think on it for about all of five minutes before becoming more disgusted with himself than he had ever been before in his life. It made him physically ill that he had if even for a second thought about mating with Kikyou just to stay alive, of making her a part of his soul and betraying Kagome. At that moment he genuinely wanted the earth to open up and swallow him.

At nightfall Kikyou stopped and turned to him.

“I won’t do it.” InuYasha said. “Take me to hell now or kill me, but I won’t make you my mate and I won’t follow you any further.”

“So that is your final decision. I truly have no hope of having you for my own?” Kikyou asked.

“Kagome is my mate.” InuYasha replied. “I belong with her in this world and will be with no other. I will go to hell with you, but that is all.”

“Then there truly is no hope for me... If you stay I will take you with me to hell.” she said calmly. “But I think we both realize there is no peace to be found there, not for either of us. You have the power to bring me peace if you also have the courage.”

InuYasha looked at Kikyou. In her eyes he thought he saw the woman she once was coming to life, from behind the mask. “How, tell me how?”

“By committing the act I blamed you for so long ago. Restore this part of my soul that binds me to this world. Return it where it belongs within my reincarnation so that I may be at rest once again.” Kikyou told him.

“I can’t…” he said sadly. “How can I when I promised to protect you.”

“As I said before you have the power, but you must have the courage as well.” she replied. “What do you choose InuYasha? I grow weary of this place. Will you live, or die?” When he next looked at her she knew he had decided. She offered him a small smile. “Live well InuYasha.”

He drew back his hand and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” he whispered. “Sankontessou.” InuYasha fell back as he felt something crash into him and pass through him. He recognized it as the soul he knew better than his own that had first belonged to Kikyou and now to Kagome. On the ground a few feet away was a small pile of bones and clay. He gathered them as best he could in a square of cloth torn from his inner kimono and then raced after the ball of light streaking across the sky, headed home.

He ran all day and night losing sight of the orb returning to its rightful place inside the woman he loved. He refused to rest even for a moment on his journey home. He ran as fast as his body would allow. The sun rose again and he continued on calculating that if he hurried he would not have to spend another night without her. As the sun set he could make out the village in the distance.

The thought of her spurned him onwards and he found it in himself to move faster. He could hear her and smell her long before he reached her. She was in the old miko’s hut and her screams tore at his heart.

“No! Let me go! I have to go! He needs me! I will not have him suffer an eternity in hell alone.” Kagome screamed. “He is my mate, my life and he needs me!...Please... Hell is nothing compared to living without him, knowing that he suffers alone...Let go!”

“Get your hands off my mate.” He said as he pulled aside the mat over the doorway to see his mate struggling against the arms that held her.

All eyes locked on him and no one could seem to draw breath as he stepped inside, not quite sure if it was a dream or if his soul had indeed returned to take Kagome with him to return her to her place at his side. He noticed nothing, saw nothing but her as he made his way to her side. Her eyes held disbelief.

“Have I died at last?” She whispered. “Have you finally come for me to take me with you?” InuYasha shook his head and tears poured down her flushed cheeks. “Please don’t leave me here alone.”

InuYasha kneeled and took her face in his hands. “You will never be alone. I will not leave you again. Come back to me koishii.”

“InuYasha?” She asked placing her hands over his. “Are you really here?”

He smiled at her oblivious to fact that they were not alone. He kissed her tenderly and with a depth of emotion that left her breathless. “Did that feel real to you?” Kagome was only capable of nodding. “I’m so sorry for leaving, for what I almost did. Can you ever forgive me Kagome, my koishii?”

Her eyes lit up in a way that they hadn’t since before he left her and she smiled a true smile as she threw her self into his arms and knocked him onto his back. “I forgave you before you left.” she cried. He simply held her tightly as she kissed him fervently. “You’re here, you’re really here. When my soul returned I thought... I was so worried, so afraid that she had sent you to hell to suffer alone.”

InuYasha brought them both to their feet and buried his face in her neck. “I know.” He said gently. He turned to Kaede and handed her a bundle of cloth.

Kaede looked at him with tears in her good eye. “Thank you. I will not forget that you are the one who brought true peace to my sister’s soul. She will be returned to the earth as it was meant to be.”

Kagome still clutching InuYasha tightly felt his body relax at Kaede’s words. If Kikyou’s own sister thought he had done the right thing then surely he had.

“Welcome back.” Miroku offered. “I don’t believe it is necessary to tell you that you were missed.”

Sango smiled at him through her tears. “You are not allowed to make any more promises to anyone without my permission is that clear.”

InuYasha chuckled lightly. “You don’t have to worry about that.”