InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ All's fair in love and war ❯ Mental Disorders and Love affairs ( Chapter 2 )

A/N: I know I know. Gomen, gomen. I will try and be less evil this time with the cliffie. Thank you to those that reviewed! I'm so happy!

` ' = thoughts

" "= speech

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I do however, own 78 episodes, a crap-tastic version of movie # 1, mouse cursors, and various pretty pictures.

WARNING: Lemonesque and lots of potty mouthing. You have been warned!

Chapter 2: Mental Disorders and love affairs.

`Maybe I didn't think this through enough…' the hanyou pondered as the portal to hell opened and he started to descend with Kikyo the walking clay miko. Inuyasha tried to pull away from the miko's embrace to talk some sense into her but he didn't seem to be able to move away. `SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT! Now how the hell do I get out of this one? Stupid Kagome never has to worry about going to hell-'

Inuyasha's thought was cut short by a blue flash of light, and a reversal of movement. Apparently Kagome had shot one of her purifying arrows at the portal and reversed Kikyo's spell.

Kikyo dropped a now relieved Inuyasha and turned to face Kagome, "You pathetic copy! Is that all you can do? If this was reversed my arrow would have done you in by now!"

Kagome stared blankly at Kikyo and sweat dropped, `That's not good…'

"Do you even realize that stopping me from taking Inuyasha is not in his best interest anymore? He wants to come with me!"

Kagome's attention was now directed at the indicated hanyou, "Is that true Inuyasha?"

Said hanyou sweat dropped and attempted to come up with an intelligent reply, "Well Kikyo… I… um…"

Both incarnates turned to Inuyasha, "Well?" they asked simultaneously.

Inuyasha blanched, `Oi that was scary.' Then he came up with the best answer he could think of that would work in his favor with both mikos, "Kikyo, I want to get revenge on Naraku before I go anywhere with anyone. Just so that both our souls can be at rest when we move to the next life."

Kikyo smiled, well almost smiled, "Fine Inuyasha. But when the time comes I expect you to continue with the one who you truly love." Surprisingly satisfied, Kikyo turned and walked off into the woods.

As soon as Kikyo was out of sight, Inuyasha gave a huge sigh of relief, "Well that went better than expected."

"What do you mean expected?!" At this point Kagome was fuming. "She almost took you to Hell again, she threatened me for the millionth time, and you're telling me that, THAT went better than expected?"

"What do you care bitch? I'm not dead, you aren't injured, and Kikyo walked away satisfied. What more could you have fucking wanted to happen?"

"I… um…" Kagome was at a loss for words in fear that he really had seen her and Hojo earlier.

Sango wacked the hanyou over the head with her hirokatsou (sp?), rolled her eyes, and mumbled, "Hmm let's see, how about her not finding you fondling her dead incarnate?"

"Bitch."

"What an insult… he called me a woman…"

"Cut the crap Sango! This is between me and Kagome! Leave and I'll drag her back to camp when I'm done!"

"Fine!" She turned to Kagome, "Kag, I really think this is an issue you need to deal with. If you need me you know where I am. And I expect to hear all about it later!" She turned back to the offending hanyou; "If you harm her I'll exterminate you."

"LEAVE ALREADY!"

"I'm going, you jerk."

As soon as Sango was out of range Inuyasha was free to let her have it, but unfortunately Kagome let him have it first.

"I can't believe that I came back to you all over that walking corpse! Every time I don't come back on time, this happens! What is it? Are you into necrophilia or something?"

Unfortunately Inuyasha hadn't read enough of Kagome's psycho book to know what necrophilia involved, "So?" But apparently he knew what nymphomania was, "I want to have sex and I want to have a lot of it. What the fuck does that have to do with Kikyo being a corpse?"

"Not nymphomania Inuyasha, necrophilia. A person who is into necrophilia likes to bang dead people."

"I NEVER SAID I WANTED TO FUCK HER!" Inuyasha was red faced and fuming at this point.

"Well apparently you're going to hell with her, so I don't know how else you will be able to satisfy your nymphomania… unless there is someone else you are screwing around with? Kagura? Like a little wind in your spare time?"

"WHAT?! I DON'T WANT TO FUCK KIKYO AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T WANNA TRY THE WIND BITCH THAT'S SESSHOUMARU'S JOB!” At this point Inuyasha was losing control and started to growl. How could she even think that?

Elsewhere in the Feudal Era:

The supreme Fluffy sneezed, not long after his name was mentioned and his loyal servant cowered in fear as he voiced his thoughts on said sneeze, “Stupid half-breed is talking crap about me again… we shall have to find a way to remedy this. Yes… this will teach him a lesson once and for all…”

Back to the argument at hand:

“AND THERE IS NO ONE ELSE! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO FUCK ANYONE ELSE! I SPEND ALL MY TIME HUNTING FOR SHARDS WITH YOU!" Inuyasha began to growl.

"Then who do you want to fuck?"

This stopped his rage mid growl with embarassment, "I… uh… NO ONE!"

This made Kagome smile, `I'm going to have fun with this.' She put on her best serious face, "You know, Inuyasha, you can't be a nymphomaniac if you don't want to have sex with anyone… I mean, unless you are narcissistic."

"Keh! I'm not in love with myself!"

`Wow he really has been reading my schoolbooks…' Kagome decided she'd push to find out this person who he wanted to have sex with, "Well then who is the lucky girl?"

All this talk about sex was making Kagome excited. She was beginning to wonder if she really did have a compulsive disorder because she compulsively felt the need at the mention of sex.

Inuyasha was silent and then sniffed the air, `oh fuck she's getting aroused by this?'

"Well?"

Inuyasha suddenly had the answer and the best way to deliver it. He grabbed Kagome and pinned her to the nearest tree, pressing his body full on her and trapping her arms over her head with his left hand, making sure all the right parts were in all the right places. "Does this answer your question?"

Kagome could feel his arousal through his pants and her underwear and it was making things even wetter. She hardly squeaked out her reply, "…yea…"

Inuyasha looked at her with pleading eyes and a thrust of the hips, which made them both moan. "So. What do you want to do about this?"

"I um… you want me?"

Inuyasha lowered his head to blow on and then whisper in her ear, "I thought I made this obvious." To further demonstrate his point, he licked her from the base of the neck to the tip of her ear.

This made Kagome shiver in delight. "Inu-yasha…" Was all she could get out.

Kagome's scent spiked with further arousal. Inuyasha grinned, "I should take that as a `fuck me now you dead sexy hanyou!'" He moved to the base of her neck and began to kiss and nibble his way down to the top of her blouse.

"Inu- wait."

"What's a matter?" He had reached the top button and ripped it off with his teeth making his way down her shirt by doing the same damage to the other buttons.

"I… I need to know something… I… ooohhh!" Inuyasha had found her right breast and was sucking the nipple through her bra.

He stopped his sucking momentarily, replacing his mouth with a massaging right hand, and looked up into her eyes with the largest attempt to convey innocence Kagome had ever seen in her life, "What is it you need to know?"

Inuyasha moved his other hand from his captive position to her arms in order to give her left breast some attention as well. With a deep breath Kagome fruitlessly tried to gain some composure, "Why… if I'm the one… oh gods… you want to have sex with… why were you groping Kikyo like there was no tomorrow?"

This apparently was the wrong question because no sooner did the question process in Inuyasha's brain than did he pull back and throw her to the ground, "Bitch! You really know how to ruin things!"

"Wha-"

"We're going to play a little game Kagome. If you answer my question I will answer yours. Wanna play?"

Kagome was still on the ground from being thrown. Her blouse was completely bearing her pink-laced bra-covered chest and most of her stomach. While futilely attempting to button a shirt that no longer had the buttons, she sighed and replied, "Fine, ask away."

"Why do you go back to your time Kagome? And don't tell me it's because of those tests you're always talking about because I found out that's not it, or at least not the entire answer."

`Oh god he knows!' Kagome turned 3 shades of red, "What and how did you find out?"

"That was not the deal. Answer my question."

"You know the answer. I visit my family, friends and go to school."

"That's not all."

"Really Inuyasha?! Then tell me what it is because I sure as hell don't know!"

"Keh! You're in love with that weakling Hoto!" (A/N: kinda like Toto)

"I am not! And its Hojo!"

"Well excuse me I got your boyfriend's name wrong!"

"HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

"Well it seems I'm not the only nympho in the forest."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"All I did was try to come get you because you were late. But noooooo! You were on a date thing."

"IT WASN'T A DATE!"

"Doesn't getting a kiss goodbye constitute as a date? Or do the monk and Sango have their information wrong?"

"HE KISSED ME I DIDN'T KISS HIM!"

"Keh you liked it. You didn't stop him."

"You know if you use that logic that means I liked what you were doing to me too."

Inuyasha was startled, stared blankly, then blinked back to awareness, "No you stopped me."

"Because I wanted to ask you a question that I still didn't get an answer to!"

"You were kissing Holo. I was kissing Kikyo. We're even."

Kagome could have sworn she had an intelligent reply to whatever he was going to come up with but that had blown her away, "Nani?"

"You heard me."

"Wait, the only reason you kissed the clay pot was to even things out."

"Yep."

"You only want me?"

"Yep."

"With no regrets?"

"No regrets."

A/N:

just to clarify for all of you who have a tendency to forget like me:

Nymphomania = someone who wants to have sex all the time, they have a compulsive need to do it.

Necromantic = someone who likes to have sex with dead people.