InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ An Unforeseen Flame ❯ Farewell Inuyasha ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
A/N: So I already have this posted on another fanfiction site, but I decided to post it here too. Hope you enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters, nor could I ever hope to be as genius as Rumiko Takahashi.


"Kikyo!" Inuyasha exclaimed frantically, his pleading voice begging her to stop. Noisily, the hanyou crashed through the dense underbrush of the forest as he pursued the woman he loved so desperately. Reanimated from clay though she was, he knew would never be able to stop loving her. She held his still beating heart within her cold, dead hands, and he was convinced her embittered heart still belonged to him no matter how hard she tried to fight it.

The lifeless priestess's porcelain face remained cold and expressionless as she ignored his pleas and continued her stride through the forest thicket with graceful nonchalance, her serpentine soul collectors trailing behind her casting a bluish light upon gently swaying trees through the enveloping darkness of night. She was chagrined to find Inuyasha following after her like a lost puppy yet again. They had been in love a lifetime ago, and, maybe, if circumstances had been different, they still would be, but it was no longer a possibility.

She had to admit that she still felt a flutter in her stomach when she thought about how very much the hanyou still cared. He had a living woman, her very own reincarnation in fact, who had not yet been tainted by the darkness of the world and who loved him with all her heart, yet he still chased a ghost. It almost made Kikyo feel smug that she could captivate him so, but she suppressed the feeling austerely.

It was not her place to interfere in the life of her former lover, nor his companions. She had one task, one singularly important task, on her mind, and then she would leave the world of the living for good. Once Naraku was dead, she would have no reason to remain. It was not her fault if working towards his defeat put her in Inyasha's path on multiple occasions. That truly was not her intention.

"Kikyo, please stop," the hanyou begged softly, grabbing her hand. Her flesh was ice cold to the touch yet still soft. She stiffened uncomfortably as he pulled her roughly into a tight embrace.

'Why can't he just let this go?' the priestess thought to herself as she fought to keep her mind clear. It was difficult under the scrutiny of his dreamy amber gaze. Inuyasha fogged things up for her. He always had. That was the reason evil had gotten the better of her in the end. She had been a fool to think that she could have been a normal woman. It was her fate to protect the Shikon no Tama, and she had attempted to rebel against that fate. So the spirits had punished her for her indiscretions. She realized this now.

"Why won't you stay with me? Can't you see I that still love you? Please just stay with me. We can fight against Naraku together."

Inyasha's arms were still wrapped tightly around the petite woman's waist as he waited for a reply. He knew she would decline, but he hoped, always so fervently, that she would agree to stay with him this time around. That she would not only realize the mutual benefits of traversing together, but also the love she still held for him deep within her stagnant heart.

Kikyo turned his proposition over and over again in her mind like a coin. The romantic side of her would have given anything to stay with him, but she was a practical woman. She had already come to the realization that he was a distraction and, therefore, detrimental to the completion of the task at hand. Traveling with him would not be prudent, and it would most likely cause tension amongst his traveling companions. She knew how they felt about her, especially Kagome.

Kagome was envious of her, an idea that almost made Kikyo laugh aloud. She, Kikyo, was the one who should be jealous. Kagome could be with Inuyasha, start a life with him, have a future with him, grow old with him… Nobody had brutally wrenched the life that Kagome possessed away from her. The reincarnated woman was free to live and laugh and love, without bitterness, without hate, without hurt. And, it was only a matter of time before she, who was no longer among the living, returned to the Earth without Inuyasha, for taking him to the afterlife with her had never really been her plan. No, Kagome should not be jealous.

x.X.x

Kagome was well hidden under the cover of nightfall, despite the intensity of the silvery stars dangling overhead. The usually tranquil sound of chirping crickets, which now seemed piercing and strident to Kagome, masked her quiet footfalls, and the familiar trees of the Forest of Inuyasha kept her from view of anyone that would be looking. Not that Inuyasha would be paying any mind to anything lurking in the forest right now. As long as Kikyo was in his arms, Kagome knew the clay priestess was all his eyes could behold.

She knew what was taking place underneath the brilliant glow of the alabaster starlight. It had happened so many times before, but every time Inuyasha ran off chasing after Kikyo, Kagome could not help but follow, despite the scars it always left behind on her perpetually breaking heart.

The glow of Kikyo's soul collectors illuminated the pair, giving them an ethereal radiance as they remained locked in, what seemed to Kagome, an interminable embrace. The luminosity was so beautiful that it gave the lovers an angelic appearance amongst the thick copse of trees swaying softly in a breeze so chilly it left goose bumps upon Kagome's pale flesh.

It made her sick to her stomach to watch Inuyasha hold Kikyo so intimately. It wasn't their tenderness or their beauty, or even Inuyasha's uncharacteristic affection that roused such feelings. It was envy, that cold green feeling that emanated from Kagome every single time she witnessed them together. She was glad too see that Inuyasha could be tender and affectionate, but it made her sick that it was someone else in his arms.

She hated how the jealousy made her feel; hated how wrong it felt, but it was always there bubbling in the pit of her stomach, like a boiling pot ready to overflow. She couldn't help it. For a moment, she would almost wish terrible things upon Kikyo, and then she would chide herself for being such an awful person. It was the worst feeling in the world to know that he wanted someone more than he wanted her. Especially someone as despicable as Kikyo had been towards Inuyasha upon her revival.

So why, then, was she there watching the man she loved and the woman he loved if it evoked such feelings from her? Why was she enduring the chilled night air and biting back bitter tears to watch these two as they shattered her fragile heart into even more pieces than it was already in. Why did she have to be the one to fall in love with someone who could not love her in return? It just wasn't fair, but, of course, life never was, or so she'd been told.

Quietly, she slumped down into the long grass and leaned against the rough bark of the tree she had been hiding behind, averting her eyes from the intimate spectacle as stinging tears streamed down her flushed cheeks. Inuyasha was giving Kikyo what she, Kagome, wanted more than anything in the world. Didn't she deserve to have what she wanted? She had been a loyal friend, listened to his insults, patiently put up with his temper, aided him on his quest, and done all that she could possibly do for him for three years now. She had become a woman in that time, a strong woman even, and with each passing year, she was a strong woman that was more and more in love. Didn't she deserve his affections? Kikyo was, after all, dead, and she was not. He could be with her, hold her, love her, and he would never have to worry about dying with her. It was selfish of Kikyo to want such a thing from him, but she, Kagome, would never ask him to do anything like that for her. All Kagome wanted from Inuyasha was for him to love her in return, but that seemed impossible.

x.X.x

Inuyasha stood waiting patiently for Kikyo to say anything to him. It felt as though he had been waiting for her reply for an eternity, but a pleasant eternity as she was still in his arms. Finally, she looked up at him, her dark eyes devoid of any spark of emotion.

Kikyo had decided long ago that it wouldn't do to allow him to know she still cared. She had thought she had wanted him dead. She had thought, briefly, she had wanted him to die with her, but all she truly wished for was his happiness. She could allow him that much. But, she didn't want him to know that she really was still just a woman in love, or he would be forever chasing the ghost of a love from fifty years passed. It was best for him to think she only had feelings of spite left for him, so that he could choose the path that would lead him to his happiness.

"You know I will not stay with you, yet you always ask this of me. Why is that, Inuyasha?"

He was stunned by the callous tone in her voice and the hateful way his name rolled off her tongue as she asked this and was caught unprepared. Before he could think of an answer for her, she had pulled herself out of his embrace and was walking away into the dark of night. He felt the already gaping hole in she had left in his heart grow a little wider as she strode away, as it always did each time they parted.

A gentle breeze blew strands of silver hair across his face, tickling his nose and interrupting his mourning at Kikyo's departure. He could smell Kagome's distinctively fragrant scent on the wind along with the salt of her tears. He realized, with some trepidation, she must have seen him leave Kaede's hut and followed him into the forest.

x.X.x

The forest surrounding Kagome dimmed, shadowing her in the blackness of night. The sudden darkness signaled Kikyo's departure from Inuyasha and interrupted the young woman's pained musings. She heard the padding of heavy footfalls in the grass and knew they were heading her direction. She didn't even bother to look up or acknowledge the fact that her presence was discovered.

"I thought I heard someone out here," Inuyasha stated quietly from behind the heartbroken woman. Kagome could feel his eyes upon the back of her head. She felt as though his gaze lit her ablaze as the hot tingling of mortification scurried up her spine.

"I... I'm sorry," Kagome stuttered, stifling a disconsolate sob, hot tears stinging her chocolate brown eyes. "I couldn't go back to sleep after seeing you leave to go after Kikyo, so I decided to go for a walk. I really didn't mean to eavesdrop," she lied lamely.

"What do you want me to do Kagome?" he inquired dejectedly. "I can't stop loving her, you know... I tried…I really did… I just...I just can't… You said you understood, but you react this way every single time. Damnit Kagome, what am I supposed to do?"

Kagome was now weeping openly. Violent sobs wracked her slender form as she sat leaning forward on her knees, clutching the grass beneath her. She could feel the damp soil lodge itself beneath her fingernails.

"Just because...I understand...doesn't mean…that it hurts any less," Kagome choked out between sobs. "I just…wish that you would realize that…that she's not YOUR Kikyo anymore. What's even harder than watching you reject me, is watching her reject you every time," she wailed. "You love a woman that wishes you dead for something that wasn't even your fault. Someone who doesn't love you enough to want you to continue living, just because she is no longer among the living...and that doesn't even bother you. It doesn't even make you think twice. You've already decided that you would rather have someone so selfish over...me..."

"Kagome," Inuyasha whispered sympathetically. He squatted down beside the distraught woman and gently placed a comforting hand upon her shoulder, but she batted it away savagely. She knew she was being unreasonable; that she was now being the selfish one, but didn't she have the right to be these things at least once in her life after all the times she'd been understanding and selfless?

"Don't touch me!" she cried, her shrill voice sounding crueler than she had intended. "I know I said that I wanted to stay with you no matter what, but I was wrong. I can't stand it, seeing the two of you together and knowing that it will never be me who comes first. I'm not strong enough to endure this constant heartbreak. I understand why it won't ever be me. I really do. I know how difficult it is for you to stop loving Kikyo, because I can't stop loving you, no matter how hard I try. I don't want to love you anymore, and I don't want to stay with you anymore. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can help you finish the jewel and defeat Naraku. It's been three years of heartache, traveling with you. I need to go my own way...away from you."

"Don't be like that, Kagome," Inuyasha appealed hoarsely. Had he really hurt her so much? Her words stung him, like a whip lashing viciously at exposed flesh. It wasn't that he didn't care about her. Other than Kikyo and his mother, there was no one he had ever cared about more. It pained him to see her so miserable but; it was like she had said. He could not choose his feelings.

"Just go away. Leave me alone," she sobbed even harder. The hanyou didn't budge despite her entreaties. "Please, just go away."

"No, Kagome. I won't leave you like this," he replied determinedly. "You can't leave us Kagome, and you know it. We have no hope of defeating Naraku and piecing the shards of the Shikon no Tama back together without you."

"So that's all I am to you? A shard detector? Is that really the only reason you want me to stay?"

Kagome's eyes flashed with a burning anger Inuyasha had never seen reflected in them before, as she rose to her feet suddenly, fists clenched so tightly her knuckles were white. Her crying had completely ceased. Without a second glance at the hanyou, Kagome turned around sharply and began running blindly into the dark forest and away from him. He stood unmoving and watched her go, feeling abandoned for the second time that night. The recollection of the anger in her eyes sent a chill throughout his entire being. He hoped she would be all right alone in the forest but made no effort to pursue her. She wished to be away from him, so he would honor her request, for the time being.