InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ An Unforeseen Flame ❯ Musings ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters, nor could I ever hope to be as genius as Rumiko Takahashi.

It had been three and a half long weeks since Kagome began traveling with Sesshomaru. The party did not seem to do much as a whole, and Sesshomaru disappeared often. Now was one of these times, and the group was at a standstill. Kagome always wondered where he traveled while he was away from them. Like he promised, he had allowed Kagome to pursue the fragments of the jewel and even supplied her with a new bow and quiver full of arrows. However, she had not had much luck find any more shards. Other than the initial shard she found with Sesshomaru, she had come across only one other. The other shards she possessed had been left in her backpack with her friends, and she was almost certain that the rest were in Naraku's possession.

'Except for the ones in Koga's legs,' she reminded herself silently. She was curious as to his well-being as well as that of the rest of her friends. Rin was a wonderful little girl who took the edge off her loneliness, but she often reminded Kagome of Shippo. She missed the young kitsune greatly. She also craved adult companionship. Rin, who was only ten, was not a suitable confidante for a grown woman. It made her long for Sango, her best friend and closest confidante. Hell, she even missed Miroku's generally wise, and sometimes lecherous, council.

Her thoughts would also often wander to Inuyasha, no matter how much she tried to forget about him. She loved him dearly, and forgetting him seemed nigh impossible. He had left a gaping hole deep within her chest right where her heart should be, and she wasn't sure when it would start healing. She often cried to herself at night when she ought to have been sleeping, and at times, she would wake up crying after dreaming of him. Even though she was far from him, it still felt as though he was ever present. She felt lost and broken, unable to move on from her feelings of hurt and rejection.

But, as time progressed, Kagome was beginning to find herself growing more and more attached to Sesshomaru. Sure, he was laconic. There were entire days where he would go without speaking. But, he had kept all his promises, and he was not the villain she had originally thought him to be. He was sweet and tender with Rin, in his own way, and he had actually allowed Kagome to visit with her family for a short while.

It was a pleasant reunion, though short and bittersweet. She explained her situation to her mother, who listened patiently and understandingly. Her mother then admitted to seeing Inuyasha a few times and to being very worried when he told her he had no idea of her daughter's whereabouts. She was more than relieved to see Kagome and urged her to remain in the present, but, of course, Kagome refused. She had to abide by the rules Sesshomaru had laid out, as he had confiscated one of her shards for that very reason. If he was somehow able to make it to her era, she couldn't even begin to imagine the trouble it would cause, and she would never want to endanger her family. Sesshomaru may have been more reasonable that Kagome expected, but she definitely did not wish to push boundaries only to have him push back with greater force.

Kagome looked over at a stuffed yellow backpack sitting in the tall grass. That had been the best part about going home. As much as she had missed her family, she had missed soap an incredible amount as well…and food. She had really missed good food. Even the instant ramen noodles she brought back with were better than some of the food they scavenged while Sesshomaru was away. She had also retired her school uniform and brought a few pairs of shorts and some t-shirts (along with a various assortment of other things her mother insisted she pack). It wasn't like she needed it any more, since she would no longer be returning to her time for classes as she had done while traveling with Inuyasha. The thought of his name brought back the stinging of isolation she was beginning to feel.

Really though, her experiences without Inuyasha and the rest of the group were not so bad, except for the crippling loneliness she often felt. Other than Jaken, the group was fairly amenable. Sesshomaru was kind to her, in his own way, and very honorable. He kept to himself mostly, adding to Kagome's loneliness, but she was not unduly discontent. Although it wasn't exactly easy, she was learning life without Inuyasha wasn't quite as difficult as she imagined it would be, and although she missed him terribly, she also realized that her broken heart wouldn't be able to manage seeing him again for a while, yet.

She yawned, and stretched her arms a bit. It was a nice night, warm and balmy, just the way a late spring evening should be. There were crickets chirping softly, and, every once in awhile, owls would hoot off in the distance. The endless black sky was so full of shimmering silver stars that there really was no need for the warm fire that crackled jovially in the middle of the encampment, but Kagome felt as though it lightened her heavy mood a bit. They had been camped here a few days now, waiting on Sesshomaru's return, and she was starting to go stir crazy.

She never used to sit around lazily waiting on someone to take care of everything for her. She used to fight alongside her friends, her heart pounding in her chest and adrenaline flowing through her veins in the heat of battle. She was bound to get rusty, just lazing about. Not that chasing after Rin wasn't good exercise (that little girl sure was energetic), but it wasn't the same. She missed thrill and excitement of adventure almost as much as she missed her friends, and she missed having someone that relied on her for more than just the menial tasks she performed for Rin now. She had felt powerful and capable with her bow in hand, a notched arrow glowing pink with sacred light. She no longer felt like a force to be reckoned with, but she desperately wanted to feel that way again. More than just the parts of her that belonged to Inuyasha ached to return to that life.

Her thoughts turned to Sango, the taji-ya who she fought alongside, cried with, laughed with and everything else they did together. She wished she could cry on the woman's shoulder and be comforted by someone who understood her heartache. She wished she could confide in the woman like she used to. Sango was like a sister, and she was probably very worried at this point. She wondered if Inuyasha had gone back to her era after Kagome had visited home, and if her mother had told him where Kagome was now. That would put Sango's mind even more ill at ease, but at least she would know the priestess was alive.

Shippo probably missed her something fierce as well. She missed his smiling face and cute fluffy tail. She smiled to herself when she thought about how big his eyes would get when she brought treats for him from her era. She even missed his petty squabbles with Inuyasha.

She missed Miroku too. Despite the monk's roaming hands, he was also a great comfort to Kagome in times of hardship. He was so level-headed and always knew the right thing to say. She hoped he was holding the rest of her friends together without much trouble.

Kagome sighed and stared into the flickering fire trying to focus on something other than everything and everyone she missed terribly. She watched the bright flames lapping at the charred branches they used to feed the fire. She could feel the heat radiating from it, warming the soft skin of her face and painting everything around her in an orange glow. She watched as the smoke from the fire twisted up into the air gracefully, its acrid scent almost burning her nostrils. It was a cozy fire, like the ones she often shared with all of her friends as they lay underneath the stars, the same stars that were twinkling brightly overhead, preparing for the day ahead. Damn, there she was again, thinking about the friends she was yearning to see.

From the evening shadows Sesshomaru observed the young priestess. She was a very good companion for Rin and indulgent in the areas that he could not be. He was extremely grateful for her; although that was something he would never admit it. She made sure the girl was fed, bathed, and had started teaching the girl etiquette, archery and whatever other knowledge Kagome possessed. He was glad Rin had another female to learn from and spend time with. On top of that, she was pleasant to have around, but he had noticed a change in her since the last time he had seen her with his half-brother. Before traveling with him, the woman was lively and vivacious, and she carried herself so confidently. Now she was withdrawn and reticent, and although she still smiled often, the expression often seemed forced and insincere. He easily recognized the sadness and loneliness within her smile. She was unhappy. This bothered Sesshomaru, for he found himself becoming unwillingly attached to the woman.

It was strange how quickly the woman had grown on him, despite his hatred of her kind, and how quickly he had come to care for her. She was soft-spoken and tender, yet determined and brave all at once. She was an endearing mix of woman, warrior and fool. It would be impossible for anyone with a heart, even one as frosty as his, not to become fond of her. But however much he did care for her, he knew he was too selfish to let her return to the ignorant and undeserving Inuyasha. Nor did he want her to return home to her family, as he would likely never see her again if she returned to her era. But, at the same time, he could not stand the thought of her unhappiness. Sesshomaru found himself at an impasse with himself.

He watched as she sighed heavily her dreamy eyes vacant, seeming almost lost as she stared into the glowing orange flames of the night's campfire. Rin had already fallen asleep next to Ah-Un, and Jaken was tending the fire lethargically. He wondered what it was she was thinking about this time as she leaned against a good-sized tree. He surmised resentfully that it was that mutt he called his half-brother, but almost wished that it was himself, instead, that occupied her thoughts. He tried to shake that thought from his mind.

Yes, the girl was lovely, and she was very good with Rin, but she was also a human. He should not be thinking of her this way. It chagrined him that his mind would so easily turn to such distasteful thoughts after a mere three weeks in her company. That had been the reason he had been spending so much time away lately. Maybe he should rid himself of her after all, before he became too attached. Where would she go if he did ask her to leave? Would she return to the half-breed even though he had broken her fragile heart?

He became angry as he pondered this. Inuyasha did not realize how lucky he was to have such a girl to care for him. She would sometimes cry out for him in her sleep, or fake sleep while letting her tears fall quietly when she thought no one was around. The Demon Lord knew the salty scent well. He could not recall anyone crying for his sake, and almost felt…jealous of his half-brother. Was that possible? Could he really be covetous of the half-breed, Inuyasha? He decided he would at least exchange words with her. It was not a thought he relished, having no experience with humans or their pointless emotions, but, what else could he do for the woman after all she had done for Rin?

Silently, he approached from behind her, knots forming in his stomach, a new feeling for him outside of combat. He found himself discomfited that a mortal woman could actually cause him to feel so nervous, but he was anxious. Sesshomaru did not desire for her to decide to take her leave of him, but he also did not wish for Kagome to remain so melancholy in his company.

"Come," he murmured simply. Startled Kagome jumped and spun around quickly to face him, her lovely chocolate eyes wide with surprise. It was obvious that she had not been expecting his return so late in the evening. Without a word, she rose and followed him away from the firelight, curiosity consuming her mind. What was it that he could possibly want from her?