InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ And all else will fade ❯ Of Choices, Suffering, and Love... ( Chapter 6 )

A/N: A big thanks to those who've reviewed so far! I hope you continue to enjoy this story… do let me know what you think of it!

 

Inu Yasha

 

If one could ever describe the epitome of surprise, this moment would be it.

 

Time itself seemed to have stopped as Kikyo emerged from the woods, her pale, beautiful face shining with an inner glow of its own… shiny black hair that cascaded like a waterfall down her shoulders… the lovely pink lips, which I have tasted so often, curved slightly in the ghost of an amused smile… enigmatic, sparkling brown eyes, eyes whose beauty that even death had not taken away; eyes that looked so much like…

 

Kagome's.

 

I blinked and took a step back, snapping myself out of my mesmerised state. I glanced at my side just in time to see Kagome force a smile upon her face. “Kikyo,” she said. “What are you doing here?”

 

Kikyo turned fractionally to bestow upon Kagome a gaze that could be approximated to disdain. “I move anywhere, of my own free will. It is neither your right nor your position to ask me of my purpose for all my doings, little girl.”

 

Kagome looked as if she were about to retaliate, when I stepped forward. “Kikyo,” I said thickly. “Why- why have you come?” Didn't she understand how… difficult this was for me? I loved Kagome, but I did not want to give up on Kikyo… for that old charm still existed, simmering within me, reminding me painfully of how things could have been, if Naraku hadn't played that cruel trick on us- used us against each other. It was a difficult decision, yet one that everybody feels I must take… Why must everything be one or the other? Why wasn't there any balance out there in the world?

 

Why, dammit!

 

“Inu Yasha…” she said softly, as if noticing me for the first time. “I knew that there must have been a reason for me being led here.”

 

“Led?” Sango said. “What do you mean?”

 

“I had sensed an unknown force here; I followed its call, only to find Inu Yasha…” Kikyo's voice was distant, heavy. “There must be a purpose for me being called here; only I cannot fathom what…”

 

The sound of her husky, soft voice saddened me somewhat. Within every tremor that voice held, was deep loneliness. A resigned, melancholy note quivered in every syllable, at the cruel quirks of fate. I wished I could comfort her, provide her the love and company she yearned for so much. And yet, damn it, I couldn't! I didn't know how to deal with this sort of situation either- smooth talking and reasoning was not my forte- I was one who always followed my instincts, my gut feelings; I was no Miroku.

 

The only problem now, was my gut seemed to have taken two sides!

 

What does one do then?

 

I felt that, in many ways, Kikyo and Kagome were one and the same. Not just in their looks, but the way they had come into my life, how they had affected it, changed it… Before Kikyo arrived into my life, I was a ruthless young half-demon of mercurial temperament, sick of being ridiculed because of my half-breed nature, singularly obsessed with obtaining the Sacred Jewel and becoming a full-demon, to `pay back' those darn idiots sniggering behind my back, whatever that meant. Kikyo had taught me that having people think of you as terrifying and great was not going to make you feel great within yourself- you will never achieve self-satisfaction. She had taught me how to love… and yes, how I had loved her! I was willing to sacrifice my dreams, willing to use the Jewel to become human, just so that I could be with her. The very day those happy visions of a lovely life with Kikyo were to be fulfilled, they were shattered- by Naraku's tricking us into killing each other. How painful it was to see Kikyo raising her bow and arrow to kill me, the tender love on her face replaced by pure hatred!

 

And yet… she didn't kill me. Her arrow and magic seal made me hibernate for fifty years… fifty years, dang it!... until Kagome came and woke me up. Then, I had no idea about Naraku; I was heart-broken by Kikyo's seeming betrayal, and to see Kagome, who looked so much like Kikyo, only aggravated it further. My old instincts- to get hold of the Sacred Jewel and become a full demon took hold of me again. She brought me out of that, bit by bit, with unfailing faith and friendship, and perhaps… something more. Yes, she loved me. It was time I paid her back for her love and support. But still…

 

Kikyo and Kagome were like two bright stars, both brightening the dark sky that was my life. How could I choose between them? Why did everything have to be so difficult? I wasn't going to flatter myself- I knew I didn't deserve either Kikyo or Kagome, yet they both loved me, and I- I loved them, and, and life just got much, much more complicated.

 

“You sensed the Soul Eater, right?” Shippo's excited voice broke my reverie. “Do you know any way to, you know, defeat it?”

 

Kikyo raised her eyebrows. “No, I do not know,” she said quietly. “It was not a Soul Eater I sensed either.”

 

Shippo's brow creased. “What? How can that be?”

 

“I may be Undead, but I am not all-knowing.” A Soul-stealer drifted next to her, feeding yet another soul to sustain her body. “I merely sensed some sort of forceful aura over here- an aura so vague that I could not even determine its nature.”

 

She levelled her gaze suddenly at Kagome, who involuntarily flinched. “It called to me, so I came.”

 

Called to her…? Why would a Soul Eater be doing that? My concerned eyes met that of Sango, Kagome and Shippo's, and the unspoken question crackled like the tips of orange flames in the air. Was it just yet another trick of the Soul Eater? Had it just drawn Kikyo over here to increase the emotional tension?

 

“This is not over…”

 

I shuddered. Whether this had been the Soul Eater's plan or not, it was working pretty well.

 

“Anyway,” Kagome started tentatively. “It was a Soul Eater, all right, and it's got our friend.” She laced her fingers behind her back, visibly nervous. I suddenly felt guilty. It was because of me that Kagome felt this way- nervous, angry, despairing… and after all that she's done for me as well… “Do you know anyway to bring him back?” she finished.

 

Kikyo's gaze never wavered. “I do- but what happens to you or your friends, excepting Inu Yasha, is none of my concern. Besides, I suspect that it is already too late for your friend… the monk, is it not?

”

Sango's eyes flared. “How dare you say that!” she sputtered, unable to control herself. “It is not too late for Miroku. Besides, he is Inu Yasha's friend; don't you care about Inu Yasha, about what Inu Yasha wants, like you claim to do?”

 

Kikyo's eyes finally showed a spark of emotion. “It is not your place to talk about love, or wants, demon-slayer,” she said. “For it is partly because you ignored that of the monk's, he is in such a predicament now. You do not have, nor do you deserve the authority to question my intentions with Inu Yasha!”

 

Sango blanched, taking a step backward, hurt in her eyes. Kagome squeezed Sango's hand comfortingly and cast a side-long glare at Kikyo. I felt then, a helplessness that I never thought I would be capable of feeling. What could I say to appease Kagome? What could I say to make Kikyo see reason?

 

“Listen, Kikyo,” I said, almost tiredly. “I value Miroku as a close friend and…” I shrugged, unable to find suitable words. “I mean, there is no harm in showing us the way, is there?”

 

Her eyes shifted to my face, an indescribable emotion brimming within them. She stepped closer to me. “I want to ask you something, Inu Yasha,” she said, her voice softer than ever.

 

“What is it?” I whispered.

 

“Do you love me?”

 

I blinked, not knowing what to say. “I- I care about you, Kikyo, I respect you, and—”

 

“Ssh.” She placed a finger on my lips, silencing me. “What I asked was, do you love me, truly, like you have so often professed in the past? Or do you prefer that impertinent young girl?”

 

“I- I- uh… you see, Kikyo, I--” I stammered, despairing at the conundrum that had shown itself plainly before me. What a time for this to happen! I suddenly found myself cursing everything, the world itself, for landing me in this situation. The endless list of `only If's' flashed in my mind, torturing my soul with useless regret and wistfulness. Only if Onigumo had died before falling in love with Kikyo, so that Naraku would never have been formed; only if the Sacred Jewel had never even existed; only if Kikyo and I had never been separated in the first place; only if that evil witch Ursuae hadn't resurrected Kikyo…

 

“He doesn't need to answer that!” Kagome's angry voice startled me out of my regret-induced mental meanderings. “He's already proved his love to you so many times; why don't you do the same and leave him alone for once, huh? Inu Yasha needs to live, and in peace!”

 

I sucked in my breath. Kagome…? She just said that? But I had thought, no, wished that…

 

Kikyo swirled around sharply, narrowing her eyes. They shifted from Kagome's face to mine, and back to Kagome again. Finally, she took a deep breath and reached for her bow and arrow. “I see the problem, now, and the solution.” She set an arrow into her bow and pointed it at Kagome.

 

“Kikyo?” I cried out, my voice infused with panic.

 

The wooden bow creaked as she pulled the string taut. Kagome stood paralysed, too surprised to move. Sango, Kirara and Shippo, standing a little behind her, were in pretty much the same state.

 

“Kikyo!” I lunged, ready to bat her arm away.

 

I missed.

 

The arrow shot out of the bow, green aura surrounding its head. It struck Kagome in the heart, driving deep. She let out a strangled cry and collapsed.

 

“Kagome!!” I yelled, sprinting toward her fallen form, unable to believe it. Sango and Shippo bent over her as well, eyes wide with surprise and grief. I roughly pushed them away, skidding to a sitting position in the ground, cradling Kagome's head in my lap.

She was- was so still…

 

“Kagome, please,” I whispered. “Don't die on me, please… Kagome…” A single tear traced a tentative path down my cheek before it finally spilled onto Kagome's. I hugged her to my chest, rocking her back and forth, wallowing in grief. She was dead… dead. But, somehow, deep within, it all seemed so surreal, so unbelievable… or maybe I didn't want to believe it myself…

 

Somebody placed a hand on my shoulder. Sango's voice sounded. “Inu Yasha, please, leave her; put her down.” Her voice held no grief, but an undercurrent of excitement. And I thought she was Kagome's friend! “No,” I whispered harshly.

 

Sango's grip tightened on my shoulder. “You don't seem to understand, Inu Yasha. Kagome is not dead! Look carefully!”

 

Huh? I pushed back Kagome and put her back on the ground gently. Not dead…? The place where the arrow had struck her- it was not bleeding, but glowing with a strange blue light. And Kagome was breathing- faintly, but breathing.

 

I looked over at Kikyo, not knowing what to believe. She smiled at me and raised a hand to her heart, which was glowing with same blue as Kagome's. “I see, now, Inu Yasha,” she whispered. “And I understand. Goodbye.” Suddenly a great wind blew, and both Kagome and Kikyo were gently lifted into the air, the halos of blue light expanding to surround them, thickening and brightening to the point where we couldn't even see their silhouettes anymore.

 

Then, suddenly, Kikyo's light reduced to a size no larger than my fist, circling around the bigger one that was Kagome's. They threw shadows over our uncomprehending faces as we stared, minds blasted completely blank by the rapidity of surprising events that was happening.

 

Then Kikyo's light entered Kagome's, the fusion producing such wind and intense light, that I had to throw myself on the ground, and drag Sango and Shippo along with me, to protect our senses. Finally, as the wind ceased, as did the heat of the light of the fusion, we stood up and turned.

 

Kagome was standing alone in the middle of the clearing, her eyes closed. I ran toward her, Sango, Kirara and Shippo on my heels. “Kagome?” I said, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes, and for a moment I was taken aback. Those brown eyes were no longer the wide, mischievous, innocent (?) eyes I'd grown to love. They were filled with an added charisma, an age-old wisdom that added depth to her beauty…

 

Suddenly I knew what had just happened.

 

“Kikyo's soul fused with yours again, didn't it?” I asked, my voice filled with awe. She smiled a slow smile, a smile that was achingly reminiscent of Kikyo, and nodded. “Don't worry though, Inu Yasha,” she said. “I'm still mostly Kagome Higurashi.”

 

Even her voice had changed- it was more deep, husky. I thought briefly of what Kikyo had said, before she shot the arrow: “I see the problem, now, and the solution…” So Kikyo had understood me, after all. She had seen reason, and the best-suited solution. I hugged Kagome then, a happy smile curving my lips. “I love you, Kagome,” I said simply.

 

She smiled into my chest. “Me too, Inu Yasha,” she answered back.

 

We pulled back then, staring into each other's eyes. There was nothing that could be paralleled to that beautiful, simple, love-filled moment.

 

Her eyes suddenly flitted to the side, and widened in horror. “Inu Yasha!” she yelled. Her yell was punctuated by more warning shouts from Sango and Shippo and a growl from Kirara.

 

I smelt the oncoming demon too late.

 

Sharp claws tore my spine neatly in half, sending me into white-hot, mind-blowing pain. My grip on Kagome loosened, and I slid to the ground, my blood starting to pool beneath me.

 

Darkness seeped in like a tidal wave into my blurred vision. The coppery stench of my own blood filled my nostrils as the last smell I would ever smell, intermingled with the sweet scent of Kagome's hair.

 

This was it. I was going to die. All I could feel was regret- that I hadn't lived long enough to lead my friends to their destinies, to experience Kagome's love, to purge the world of Naraku's evil… My mind finally immersed in the darkness. The last thing I heard was Kagome's high-pitched scream:

 

“Sesshoumaru?!”