InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Awaken ❯ Mixed Feelings ( Chapter 44 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, Rumiko Takahashi does.

Awaken

Chapter 44

Mixed Feelings

 

Inuyasha carried Kagome up to her room. Someone had already brought in a bowl of water, a cloth, and bandages. Inuyasha just assumed a youkai had smelled all the blood or saw the action and brought it in ahead of time. They both sat on the bed and Inuyasha grabbed the cloth.

 

“Your wounds are more serious.” Kagome said and reached over to take the cloth.

 

Inuyasha moved the cloth out of her range and put it in the water. “It doesn't matter, I'll heal in a couple of hours and you won't.” He explained. “Now lay on the bed.”

 

Kagome sighed and did what he said. Inuyasha cut open the rest of the kimono that wasn't already torn up from the back. He gently washed the blood off and wrapped the bandages around her wounds. They weren't that bad but it was still enough to cause her pain. When her bandages were wrapped she got dressed.

 

Without a word Kagome wrapped the wounds on Inuyasha and when she was finished with the last one on his back she hugged him from behind, burying her face into his hair.

 

“What's wrong?” He asked as he gently kissed her hand.

 

“I'm just relieved, you're back to yourself.” She said.

 

“What do you mean?” Inuyasha asked.

 

“Well when you were demon you were...” Kagome could think of the right words.

 

“Scary?” Inuyasha asked.

 

“No, I was just afraid that I'd lost you.” She moved over and sat in his lap, once again wrapping her arms around him. “You've gone through so much for me and...I was just afraid I'd lost you again.”

 

“It's alright.” Inuyasha soothed her by rubbing her back. “I'm not going anywhere. Once we find out what the hell happened I'll try my hardest not to turn youkai again. I don't want you to be scared of me.”

 

“I'm not and I wasn't.” Kagome looked up at him. “I was only scared that I'd lose the REAL you. The you I'd...”

 

Kagome was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Inuyasha-sama, Kagome-sama, did you get everything you needed?” A servant asked from behind the door.

 

“Hai, thank you very much.” Kagome answered. A bright blush covered her cheeks and she moved from Inuyasha's lap to stand. “We should probably go see what Sesshomaru is going to tell us.”

 

Inuyasha knew she brought that up as an excuse so that she didn't have to finish her sentence but he would let it go...for now. He stood up with her and sniffed for his half brother's scent so he could find out what else the bastard was hiding. He was getting tired of learning things the hard way...

 

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Once they got into the meeting room where Sesshomaru, Miroku, and Sango were waiting, Sesshomaru threw the tetsusaiga at him, and as usual Inuyasha caught it. He tied the sash to his waist and led Kagome to a seat in the room. He looked at everyone to make sure they were okay but noticed that Miroku and Sango were staring intently at him. Ignoring it he turned to Sesshomaru.

 

“What the hell just happened?” Inuyasha asked not sparing a second.

 

“What everyone has just witnessed was your youkai side. When your cornered your demon blood takes over and you become full demon. But since you're a hanyou the demon blood clouds your mind and the only thing you can feel is the satisfaction of killing. Bloodshed is the only thing on your mind and the only way to return you back to normal is if you grasp the tetsusaiga once more.” He began to explain. “That fang was not only meant to protect the human blood in you or any other human, but also to protect you from yourself.”

 

“What do you mean?” Inuyasha asked.

 

“The tetsusaiga controls your demon blood. So when your cornered and your youkai instincts begin to take over, the sword suppresses the youkai blood and you remain hanyou so you can fight with the katana. When you were younger we found out that the tetsusaiga can repress that blood. Once you've changed youkai so many times it not only gets harder to change you back but you get more and more aggressive and soon you will no longer be a hanyou. You will remain a youkai and keep killing until you are finally killed.” Sesshomaru finished explaining. “You probably don't remember anything and didn't notice your wounds until after you returned to normal right?”

 

“Yeah, so then if the tetsusaiga changes me back how come Kagome was able to change me when she used the subduing word?” Inuyasha asked.

 

“That also stumped me for a while.” Sesshomaru finally sat down in one of the nearby chairs. “I can only say that since you've only become a full youkai twice that you weren't too far gone and the subduing snapped you out of it. Kagome might have been a part of it. You seemed to have hesitated once you smelled her scent. Whether or not you would have killed her, I do not know. There aren't many hanyou around so things are still left unknown when it comes to you.”

 

“Dammit.” Inuyasha said to himself. “Is there anything else you want to tell me before I try to kill everyone?”

 

“Inuyasha, since you have forgotten your memories the only way you'll learn is the hard way. That was how you became who you were before all of this happened.” Sesshomaru said in an annoyed voice and stood up from his chair. “Without those painful lessons you wouldn't have become who you were, nor would you have found Kagome or your friends.”

 

With that Sesshomaru left the room. Kagome stared at the door. She realized that even though Sesshomaru doesn't like revealing his emotions he still does it, and when he does its subtler than anyone ever realized. In making Inuyasha find out everything himself, he would regain the same personality he had before he lost his memories. Sesshomaru wasn't being cold hearted, just the opposite. Finally she stood up and chased after him.

 

“Sesshomaru!” She called out to him. He had already begun walking up the stairs. She ran to meet him there. “I realize what you're doing even if you or no one else does.” At this moment Kagome hugged him. Sesshomaru was taken aback at the suddenness of it. “I just want to thank you for everything you've done, earlier today and for everything else.”

 

“It's nothing.” Sesshomaru awkwardly patted her back. “I think your mate may be a little jealous.” Sesshomaru smirked before returning to his original destination.

 

Kagome turned around to see Inuyasha standing at the foot of the stairs. She smiled and he of course melted and walked up to grab her hand to lead her back to their room. He couldn't deny that he was in fact jealous that his brother was getting more attention than him at the moment but he could never really stay mad at her for long for something like that.

 

“What the hell was that about?” Inuyasha asked once they sat on the bed in their room.

 

“I was just thanking him.” Kagome said. She was kicking her feet, looking childlike. “He has done a lot for us.”

 

“That bastard. He still won't tell me anything unless it comes up.” Inuyasha said.

 

“At least he explains it.” Kagome said. “What's wrong with it already happening and then having him fill in the blanks?”

 

“Because ever since we mated things have changed a lot more.” Inuyasha turned to her and put his hand on her leg to stop her kicking.

 

“What's wrong with that? It just means we're getting closer and closer to remembering more about ourselves.” Kagome said. “Then we can go on with our lives.”

 

“Yeah but...” Inuyasha stopped himself.

 

“But what?” Kagome asked. He seemed hesitant to answer. “You not talking to me isn't helping either...”

 

As much as he hated to admit it she was right. “I don't want it to ever ruin the chances of you loving me...” He finally said.

 

“Oh Inuyasha.” Kagome took his hand. A bright blush appeared on her face and she struggled to keep her eyes on his. “I already do love you.”

 

“What?” Inuyasha was shocked. He had not expected that at all, maybe a mutter of embarrassment or just simply walking out but not that.

 

“It took me forever to say it don't make me repeat it.” Kagome turned away in embarrassment. “If you didn't hear it then I'm not saying it again!”

 

Inuyasha made her face towards him and without warning gave her a nice deep kiss that left her breathless. “I love you too.” He smiled and kissed her once again.

 

Kagome was dumbfounded. They had both just said they loved each other. It took her an extra three seconds before responding. “This is...well...I don't know what this is.” She threw her hands up in the air not knowing what else to say. “I just want you to know that no matter how you change I'll still...love you.” She said in a small voice.

 

“Good to know.” Inuyasha kissed her again.

 

“Okaa-san!” Shippo shouted as he ran into the room. He stopped himself from jumping onto Kagome and sniffed for any blood before crawling into her lap and wrapping his tiny arms around her. “Are you alright? I saw what happened!”

 

“I'm fine Shippo.” Kagome hugged him. Inuyasha hid a smile. The kit was finally learning to be more careful around her. “I'm going to talk to Sesshomaru. I'll be back soon.”

 

Kagome watched Inuyasha leave and turned back to Shippo.

 

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Inuyasha walked out into the hallway. He'd made up that he was going to go see Sesshomaru. He could see how much Shippo wanted to be with Kagome so he thought he'd leave them alone for a while. As he was walking out he saw Miroku.

 

“Inuyasha. How are you and Kagome?” Miroku asked.

 

“We're fine. The runt is already bugging her.” Inuyasha said.

 

“Is something else wrong? You seem upset?” Miroku asked then raised an eyebrow. “Jealous of Shippo?”

 

“No, I've just been thinking.” Inuyasha said.

 

“Oh about what?” Miroku asked not really expecting him to explain.

 

“About Kagome. She lost her family and you can tell she wants one, especially when she's with Shippo.” Inuyasha said.

 

“Well, that does seem true. Why don't you give her a family then?” Miroku asked. Surprisingly not being perverted at all.

 

“She wouldn't want to with Naraku around. It's too dangerous to have a pup right now.” Inuyasha sighed.

 

“So you've thought about this.” Miroku said.

 

“I wouldn't mind having a family.” Inuyasha began walking again. “I'm going out for a while.”

 

“You're not going to stay with Kagome? Weren't you concerned about her?” Miroku asked.

 

“After what happened today I think it's best for me not to be around her.” Inuyasha looked to the ground.

 

Miroku knew he was worried about what Sesshomaru said. Until he turned full demon again there was no way of telling whether or not he would hurt Kagome. No one would want to take that chance, especially Inuyasha. He's upset about it now and he barely went near her. He highly doubted that he would've really hurt Kagome anyway. They way he saw it was that he would just be using full inu instinct instead of half.

 

Sighing Miroku began walking to the kitchen like he had originally planned. Hopefully things would get better later this evening during dinner.

 

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“Is Otou-san alright?” Shippo asked.

 

“I'm sure he's fine. So you do think of him as a father now?” Kagome smiled.

 

“Hai! Your mated so that makes it already but he's nice even though he's mean sometimes.” Shippo said. “He's going to teach me stuff but things haven't settled down yet.”

 

“I see. Well I'm sure he'll be happy to be called Otou-san.” Kagome giggled. It was funny hearing Inuyasha being called father when he was so young and gruff.

 

“Are you sure he's alright? I saw his eyes turn red earlier. He didn't smell like he usually does.” Shippo asked in concern.

 

“He turned youkai. When he's in danger he turns full youkai to protect himself but since he's not used to it, he can't think straight and it gets dangerous. That's why we don't want you around when we're fighting. Unexpected things happen all the time. I wouldn't want you getting hurt.” Kagome said. Then she turned to him. “Were you scared?”

 

“No, it was just different.” Shippo said. “Can I sleep in here tonight?”

 

“Of course.” Kagome lightly pet his ear.

 

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Inuyasha having heard the whole conversation, smiled. He'd gotten outside when he realized that he didn't want to be away from Kagome for too long, not only that but there was no where to go. He went back to the room and was able to hear the conversation from the beginning.

 

His hunches of Kagome wanting a family were right. After Naraku was defeated he would definitely talk to her about it, which there probably wouldn't be much to talk about since they had just revealed they loved each other. He didn't think with what little time and their situation that she would've fallen in love with him, although he didn't think he could fall in love at all but there was never really a time to think about it.

 

Finally realizing that he was still standing in the hallway, he shook the thoughts from his mind and walked into the room. They had a lot of time to start a family when things were better...

 

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Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! With the writer's block, trying to find another job and so on, things were hectic and even if I had something to write about I barely had any time. Lately my sleeping habits have gotten worse so most of my writing is done in a haze at about 2 AM. So sorry if the chapter has a lot of spelling errors. I'm working on writing on my other fics too. It's hard to remember what happened in which fic and where I'm going with it. I have horrible memory so yea...

 

Anyways, hope you like this chapter! Let me know what you think! Ja ne!

 

THANKS TO READERS AND REVIEWERS!