InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beautiful: An Adventure in Parenthood ❯ Baby Blues ( Chapter 10 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
A/N: Don't own Sesshoumaru, Rin, Sessmom… I do own Shinnoumaru's adorable little self. Next chap we get to see his cute little puppy-doggie-paddle in the bath!
Just wait til he's three… He's going to be adorable. I have it all planned out XD
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Rin re-adjusted her kimono hem once more, blushing slightly, remembering what and who exactly it was that upset it to begin with. A youkai servant gave her a knowing look, which Rin judged to be because of her scent and noted with satisfaction there was a certain amount of envy in that look as well. She was the mere human girl who had managed to snag the handsome and powerful lord of Western Lands, and no one ever saw him in the states she did. If not for her scent, most would never even be able to imagine him in such situations.
Oh, of course there were various speculations about him; he was handsome enough to inspire lurid fantasies from any passing female, but to truly picture him and how he would behave under such circumstances was beyond what most were capable of. Romantic fantasies of him clashed so entirely with what they knew of him after all…
Rin gave a small smile and a nod, holding her head high and proud. There was no shame or embarrassment when it came to her choice in mate. And yes, she had chosen him.
Making her way to her mother-in-law's rooms, Rin was just a bit nervous. It was rare she was required to be here in the shiro, and even more rarely she had had to interact with the Lady of the manor… Even more seldom such interactions were unsupervised by Sesshoumaru, who if nothing else could be said of him, was always extremely protective.
Finding herself outside the door, Rin smoothed her hair one last time, straightened her posture and steeled herself with one last deep breath.
“Come in.” The lady called before Rin could knock, which was something Rin would never get used to.
Kneeling down, Rin slid the door to the side and entered, turning to slide the door back closed, then turning again to face her mother-in-law, who was seated at a small low table, Shinnoumaru curled up at her side in her furs. The lady appeared to be arranging flowers; practicing ikebana, however…
From what little Rin knew of formal flower arranging there were usually three main flowers. One representing the heavens, one representing mankind, and the other representing the earth. The lady was using five.
“My Lady.” Rin bowed, still puzzling over the odd looking arrangement, but not wanting to insult by asking about it.
“You smell confused.” Sesshoumaru's mother beckoned Rin over with an open hand swept down towards the cushion placed on her left, which would leave Shinnoumaru between her and Rin when she sat.
Rin rose and went to kneel near her son, at the Lady's side, “Your arrangement, my Lady… It is certainly lovely, however… I don't think I've ever seen such a… unique… arrangement.”
The lady gave a knowing and small toothless smile, “Ah, you don't understand why there are five…”
Rin blushed and nodded, hoping she wasn't making herself look uncultured or foolish. Three was the usual number, right? Was there something she was missing?
“Simple, my dear. Youkai Ikebana typically uses four points. Heaven, Earth, and Mankind and Youkai kind.”
“Oh, but… There are five…”
“Hanyou, of course.”
Rin's eyebrows shot up. “You've chosen to represent… hanyou?”
The lady scoffed. “Of course. A child of my late Lord Husband and my grandson are both Hanyou.” This was said without the slightest hint of shame.
Rin flicked her eyes down to the purebred-looking koinu-youkai slumbering on the lady's furs. “I thought… I mean…”
“You are his mother, regardless.” The Lady spoke, but it wasn't a sharp tone, it was a soft tone that seemed to hold more wisdom than she was letting on. “He is just as much yours and a part of you as he is a part of Sesshoumaru.”
Rin wondered how the Lady knew… Had she scented of disappointment ? She had thought she had hidden it so well… And she did love her son, and she glad and happy that Sesshoumaru had a son he could be so proud of… But there was a tiny traitorous piece of her heart that had wished she could see at least a tiny bit of herself in her offspring. For all intents and purposes, he looked like a small Sesshoumaru, with no trace of the seven months spent as a part of Rin… As only hers.
Truth be told she missed him. It made no logical sense, as he was right there, but nevertheless, some part of her felt empty inside and disconnected now. Her body was her own again but it was almost as if… something was missing and an odd lonely feeling had settled deep in the pit of her stomach.
Her mother-in-law reached down and scooped up the puppy, handing him to Rin who for no discernable reason felt tears welling up in her eyes.
“Shhhh… He's right here. He's yours, and no one can take him…”
Staring down at the small fluffy white puppy who was currently digging his snout around Rin's neckline, trying to make his way to shove his nose in to her armpit, Rin couldn't help but feel the profound weight of responsibility settle on her.
She owed this small life everything. He had done nothing, but yet she felt as though she owed him all… All of herself.
Staring at her mother-in-law, she looked at the lady with new eyes. Thought differently of every mother, of every woman… This unique and cosmic bond they all shared; bringing life in to the world. Nurturing it and helping it grow.
Could a full-demon ever respect a human as his mother?
“What if… What if I'm not enough, though? He'll be stronger than me by the time he's a toddler… How will I ever…?”
With a slightly wistful sigh and, if Rin were not imagining it, a small tinge of regret to her tone, the lady soothed, “You'll manage the best you can. It's all any of us ever do…”
Rin looked back up, startled at the seeming sadness in the Lady's tone. It was far more genuine than any of her sometimes dramatic and affected outbursts. There was a slow understanding dawning on Rin in that moment.
What must Sesshoumaru truly mean to her? Does she love him as much as I love Shinnoumaru?
How did she ever find the strength to watch him suffer through his own choices - his… mistakes?
Rin looked down at the bundle in her arms and realized that the thought of him ever feeling the slightest amount of discomfort made her sick to her stomach.
His choice to be with a human… with… me… has the potential to be painful for him…
Rin looked up with tears in her eyes and finally realized why Sesshoumaru's mother had chosen to save her life on that fateful day.
No mother can bear the thought of their child suffering… And… Sesshoumaru is still so young by demon standards… She probably still thinks of him as a child… her child.
What mother wouldn't return their child's pet to life when it died, if they had the power to stop the child's suffering?
“You were never his pet.”
Rin looked up; startled. She hadn't realized she'd silently (to her ears) mouthed those last words.
“No?” Rin asked, laughing a little when she recalled the day Sesshoumaru had threatened to put a leash on her and tether her to Ah-Un if she wondered off to get nearly eaten by yet another youkai.
“No… You were always his beloved… Even if it took that idiot son of mine a few years and a painful separation to realize it.”
Rin laughed a little at that. There were very few on earth who could dare to call Sesshoumaru an `idiot' and live to utter another word.
The lady trimmed a last leaf from a flower stem, and slowly rose from her cushion.
“Come along little one… Let us have a bath before this One must begin her day in earnest... We'll see if we can't figure out why my little koinu is… what he is…” Rin blushed, and the lady raised an eyebrow, “Though I'm certain that you have some idea of why already.”
Rin looked to the side and remained quiet.
Explaining her theory on why exactly Sesshoumaru's youkai power was so directly transferred to his offspring was going to be… awkward… And more than a little embarrassing, at least for her.
By the gods… Sesshoumaru mother is going to think there is something terribly, terribly wrong me…