InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beautiful Disaster ❯ Chapter 4: Not Me ( Chapter 4 )

*Disclaimer* I do not own Inuyasha or anything that relates to Inuyasha.

*Disclaimer #2* I do not own the song "Drop in the Ocean" by Michelle Branch or anything that relates to it.

*WARNING* This chapter contains adult content, if you can not handle, do not like, or are not of age, DO NOT read this. You have been cautioned and I will not be held responsible. No flames, please.

*A/N~ I'm back, though I do have to say sorry for the long wait! You can hit me if you want! Well, here it is! And this chapter is strictly lemon. Almost the whole damn thing people, you have been warned. Though most of you will be jumping up and down I am sure. ^_^*

Beautiful Disaster

By: Ali B.

Chapter 4: Not me

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Love took me by the hand
Love took me by surprise
Love led me to you
And love opened up my eyes

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Later that night, when Rin was tucked safely away under her covers, Kagome walked slowly to Sesshomaru's bedroom...or their bedroom...or, well, she wasn't really sure what to call it.

It was all so confusing to her. One minute she saving his life, the next he was saving hers, and then was being practically ravished by him on her vanity. But just because he lusted after her didn't mean that he was ready to declare his undying love that may not even exist.

`What does it all mean?' Kagome thought. `If he talks about our so-called "future" does that mean that he does love me? But, when I asked him earlier he said that he didn't know...what about now? Was he lying to me when he couldn't answer, or was he just scared? But, that cant be right, I mean really Sesshomaru scared? Right and goats can walk on their hind legs singing "Marry Had a Little Lamb!'

Coming to a stop outside she took a steadying breath.

`Wait, do I even love him?! I haven't even thought about that! Here I am making all kinds of demands and I don't even know if I love the guy. Oh, poor Sesshomaru! I feel just awful now! Now...let me think. He is so handsome, and kind to me, he protected me from Inuyasha, and he did kiss me a couple of times...I did like the kissing, I'll admit, but I have never done it before so maybe that's why...'

She sighed softly.

`Then again, I have never felt this way around Inuyasha and I loved him...loved...did I ever really love him more than a friend? I suddenly can't remember...then I must be in love with Sesshomaru...But I won't let myself get hurt again!'

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And I was drifting away like a drop in the ocean

And now I realize that nothing has been as beautiful
As when I saw heaven's skies
In your eyes
In your eyes

------------------------------

Still musing to herself, Kagome didn't hear the movement on the other side of the giant double mahogany doors leading to Sesshomaru's bedchambers.

But by then it was too late because they had been opened and Sesshomaru was staring at her strangely.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to come in?" His voice held slight amusement and his eyes sparkled playfully.

"What? Or, I am so sorry, I didn't mean, that is, I didn't realize, I ah..." Kagome sputtered, ending her animated apology with a nervous laugh.

Allowing a small smile grace his lips, Sesshomaru moved aside and let Kagome pass into the room before shutting and locking the door.

When inside, Kagome looked around at her surroundings. His bed was oddly westernized for this time period, what with it being raised several inches off of the ground. The wooden furniture seemed to be exactly the same mahogany as the door. Taking in all of the different fabrics and colors in the room, Kagome was literally glowing.

"Your room is so beautiful!" she exclaimed.

Then she ran over to his window to see the view. A lush green forest spread as far as the eye could see with streams and lakes and caves hidden in every which way. The fading of the sun made a perfect backdrop for the lovely foliage before her.

"Oh, Sesshomaru," she whispered to him when he came to join her. "The view you have is amazing..."

And for the first time in years, Sesshomaru actually looked at the view, rather that scrutinized it. Then turning his head he watched as the happiness and contentment played across Kagome's beautiful features. He agreed, it was an amazing view, and he said so too, without turning his gaze away from her.

Kagome blushed under his compliment, shifting slightly to look up into his face.

They lost themselves in each other's eyes and stepped closer so that they were almost touching.

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And every time I drift away
I lose myself in you
And now I see I can be me
In everything I do

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"Kagome." Sesshomaru murmured heatedly, the desire clear in his amber gaze.

"Yes...Sesshomaru." Kagome whispered back breathlessly.

If he kept looking at her like that, she didn't know if she could keep standing for long.

Actually, Sesshomaru's mind was far from positions at the current moment, so weather Kagome was standing on lying on her back wouldn't matter much to him.

"I want you." His voice was soft, but husky.

"You...what...?" she was having trouble speaking correctly.

"I. Want. You." Sesshomaru pronounced each word separately and languidly. "I want you so bad I hurt. Right now. Right here. I want you, Kagome."

"R-right, n-now? H-here?" Kagome looked around as though looking for an escape route.

Unfortunately for her, Sesshomaru was so near that he could grab her in an instant.

And, only seconds later, noticing the "I'm-going-to-take-off," look on Kagome's face, Sesshomaru wrapped his strong arms around her slim waist.

"Right now, right here, or on the bed if you prefer..." he answered her question finally, dragging out the end.

"The bed, I mean not that we will-OH! Sesshomaru! What are you-Oomph! Hey your kind of heavy you know?!" As Kagome was replying, Sesshomaru had scooped her up, deposited her into the bed, and laid himself on top of her.

Shifting his weight, Sesshomaru stopped leaning onto Kagome.

"Thank you." She muttered indignantly.

"You're welcome." A smirk played on his face when she looked up at him.

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare smirk at me, Sesshomaru. I am upset with you, you know? You can't just expect me to...to...oh, Sesshomaru...oh..." she had abruptly shut up when Sesshomaru started to kiss and nip at her exposed neck.

As Kagome kept moaning softly, Sesshomaru nuzzled into her hair, smelling her spicy scent, before continuing downward.

When he reached her sash, he unceremoniously ripped through it, then tossed it to the floor.

Looking startled, Kagome said, "What did you do that for?"

He didn't even bother to answer, because soon after the question, Sesshomaru opened her light kimono, parting it down the middle. His right hand quickly found a firm grip on her right breast. Good thing that she had decided to go braless.

"God!" Kagome gasped, surprised, she hadn't even noticed that her kimono was open, much less the appendage of a certain white haired man touching her. "What are you-oh!"

He tweaked her nipple and moved his other hand to her hip. Lightly tracing the hem of her panties.

Sesshomaru soon grasped her breast tighter in his hand, massaging it, and every so often lightly touching her nipple. His other hand made its way to her bottom and started to knead the flesh there.

`She is so beautiful...' Sesshomaru thought.

He brought his head down, lightly kissing every piece of exposed skin on her chest. Catching her nipple in his mouth, he bit down lightly, his canine fangs pinching Kagome's tender tips. While his lips worked on her right breast, he caressed her other one with his now free hand.

"Oh..." she moaned again.

The hand on her bottom slowly moved back over her waist and towards her panties again. Sesshomaru traced the bikini strap before continuing down the side of Kagome's hip.

"Sessh..." Kagome couldn't get his name out because right then Sesshomaru gnawed roughly on her breast. Kagome's thoughts scattered.

His hand, now nearing her wet core, was shaking slightly. The thought of touching her in the most feminine spot possible was driving him crazy. So, with a little more force than necessary, he quickly tore her underwear away and plunged two fingers into her silky warmth.

Gasping and groaning, Kagome, all at once, lunged forward and pulled Sesshomaru firmly against her, his hands stuck between them.

"It's not fair..." she protested. "I want...I want to feel you, like you're feeling me. You still have your clothing...on...it's not fair..." she had stopped in between words every time Sesshomaru moved his long fingers inside her.

Sesshomaru was mildly shocked at Kagome's words, but then smirked. If she wanted him naked and free for her touching, then he was more than happy to comply.

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'Cause I was feeling as small as a drop in the ocean
And now I realize that nothing has been as beautiful
As when I saw heaven's skies

In your eyes
In your eyes

------------------------------

Detaching himself from her, Sesshomaru practically shredded his kimono.

"Oh!" Kagome gasped, her aroused scent growing considerably.

"Do you find me attractive, Kagome, do you want me too?" Sesshomaru purred as he climbed back over her shivering body.

"I..." she couldn't breathe, let alone answer.

"I asked you a question, Kagome." He gently prodded.

When she didn't answer, Sesshomaru got an idea.

"How about I torture an answer out of you...hum, Kagome. What do you think?"

"Sessh...I..." Kagome's speech was ragged and her eyes shone with desire.

Smiling a dangerous smile, Sesshomaru scooted down Kagome's body and nudged her thighs open. Now lying between them, he ran his hands up and down, causing Kagome to start moaning again.

"Now," he spread her legs wider and slowly inserted a finger into her again, but more carefully this time, "I am going to feel you and taste you until you say what I want to here. And until you do I won't stop. Just when you think that you're going to be fulfilled, I'll stop and then start again...you just have to answer my question and I'll give you something much better..."

Pumping his finger faster, Sesshomaru soon added another, then another. Stretching her walls to accommodate the new intrusion.

Kagome whimpered, but still hadn't spoken. Well, that wasn't going to work for Sesshomaru. So, he pushed open her thighs even wider and pulled her up to him, giving him full access to her cunt.

Testing out the flavor, Sesshomaru tentatively licked Kagome's glistening opening. Loving the tangy taste, he licked her lips harder, receiving a jerk and a moan, he proceeded. As he delved his tongue into her wetness, Kagome screamed.

Quickly, Sesshomaru pulled back.

"Did I hurt you?!" he asked alarmed.

"N-no!"

Sesshomaru could see her shaking. Even if she were stubborn, she would have to admit that she wanted him before he took her. Well, depending on how long it took her...he was painfully hard at the present time.

"Say it and I'll give you something better." To prove his point, he pushed his hard cock against her soft and firm ass from where he sat between her legs.

"I-I, I want you, Sesshomaru, damnit, and you know I do!" she was practically yelling, her need so great.

Smirking, Sesshomaru said very sexily, "Well, that wasn't so hard, my little Kagome, was it?"

Kagome growled at him. "Either fuck me right now or I'll do it myself!"

Generally surprised at Kagome's boldness, Sesshomaru's eyes widened. It was Kagome's turn to smirk.

Regaining himself, Sesshomaru, slowly crawled back up. "You want it right now?" He licked a line straight up from her bellybutton to her collarbone.

"Y-yes!" she gasped.

Sesshomaru's lips finally made their way to Kagome's. They smashed their mouths together, kissing deeply. Kagome, very bravely Sesshomaru thought, snuck her tongue past his lips, tugging on it playfully. Sesshomaru very quickly caught on and played back.

While keeping him occupied, Kagome confidently brought her hand down to between Sesshomaru's legs and cupped his heavy, long, hard, length in her hands.

Sesshomaru jumped at the searing pleasure and pulled away from their kiss.

"K-Kagome!" it was almost a whimper. Like when a puppy was whining.

"Yes, Sesshomaru?" her smile was mischievous.

"Oh, god, Kagome..."

"Does that feel good, baby?" Kagome was shocked at her own words and actions.

"Very good...but..."

"But?" she pulled her hand away, worried that she had done something wrong.

"I would rather be...inside of you...my love..." his breathing was somewhat choppy.

Kagome was so happy she couldn't speak again.

"Can I, can I have you Kagome? Will you let me love you? Make you mine?" If anyone had walked in on them just then, they would have sworn that Sesshomaru was being shy.

"Yes," she regained her voice, "Yes, Sesshomaru."

With love in his eyes, Sesshomaru slowly parted Kagome's legs again and fit himself between them.

Slowly, with the most care and control he could muster, Sesshomaru pushed himself into Kagome's hot body.

"Your so tight, Kagome..." Sesshomaru whispered huskily.

"Ah!" Kagome moaned as he filled her.

"Shh, it's alright, it won't hurt for long." He reassured her.

Trying to spare her anymore pain, Sesshomaru quickly drove into her, breaking her hymen.

Tears came to her eyes, as Kagome stifled a scream.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it'll be okay, I'm here with you." Sesshomaru soothed her.

After a few moments of Sesshomaru staying still, Kagome wiggled, and finding no more pain, brought her leg to lace behind his back.

Getting the single, Sesshomaru began pulling out, only to sink back in deeper.

The couple moaned at the new sensations coursing through them.

"Oh, gods, Kagome, you feel so good..." he groaned.

"Deeper...!" Kagome ordered.

"Fuck...!" he was overwhelmed with pleasure.

"Harder...!" by now Kagome was sobbing from the intense throbbing between her thighs.

"Kagome!"

"Sesshomaru!"

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Love took me by the hand
Love took me by surprise

------------------------------

He could feel it coming.

`Almost there!' he shouted in his mind.

And when her muscles clenched around him, and she cried out, Sesshomaru let go.

His climatic release was out of control; the demon within wanting to get out and into her sweet body. Sesshomaru filled her completely, emptying himself inside her, though trying to keep his control and not hurt her.

But then Kagome screamed his name, loud and long, like a bitch in heat, clawing at his shoulders.

After that he snapped. All the images of Inuyasha ever touching her, Sesshomaru's hidden jealously, his heated feeling of possessiveness, it all coursed thorough him at that very moment.

She was his. Not Inuyasha's, not anyone else's but HIS!

"Your mine!" he grunted, and with the single minded purpose of making sure she stayed his, he bit down on the junction between her neck and shoulder, forever sealing her as his.

"I'm yours.." Kagome whimpered, pulling him closer.

Turning away from her skin, Sesshomaru devoured Kagome's mouth in a hungry kiss, eager to have all of her.

Kagome could taste her blood in his mouth, could feel his tongue tracing her lips and his hands caressing her body. It was driving her wild, and when he swept his fangs lightly over her bottom lip, Kagome got the primal urge to bite his back; to taste his blood as well.

And then Kagome's mind went blank as she pulled up Sesshomaru's head and bit him exactly where he had on her.

Sesshomaru gasped, then groaned. It was too much for him. The pleasure she gave him was just too much...

He all but crushed her against him, trying to get closer to his mate. Then, when Kagome pulled away, he saw she was licking her lips with HIS blood on them.

Immediately, Sesshomaru kissed her again, melting their lips together, and pressing her further into the soft bed.

------------------------------

And I was drifting away like a drop in the ocean
And now I've realized that nothing has been as beautiful
As when I saw heaven's skies
In your eyes
In your eyes

------------------------------

Moving his mouth downward, Sesshomaru kissed Kagome's cheeks, chin, neck, and chest. Leaving tiny red welts in the wake of the kisses. Moving even further down, he started nipping at her nipples ever so lightly. And when he was done Kagome was gasping for air and thrashing under him.

"Kagome?" Sesshomaru whispered as calmly as he could.

"Yes?" she squeaked, the affects of his teasing still coursing through her.

"Why did you bite me?" he was generally confused why she had done it, not that he minded.

"Why did you bite me?" she shot back, gaining more assertion by the minute.

He stayed silent for a moment.

"So that you would become my mate. I was being selfish, I know, but I wanted you to be mine, my mate. This is the only way I know of. But, I am sorry." He wasn't even about to admit that he had lost control and that's the reason that he hadn't asked her to be his mate first. Plus, he didn't think that she would have said yes even if he did ask her. She still had the mutt.

"Don't worry, I don't mind being you mate, it's just..."

He held his breath, hoping that it wasn't something about Inuyasha.

"I would have liked it better if you would have asked me first."

"I thought that you would have said no."

"There's no way that I could ever say no, not to you."

Sesshomaru smiled a genuine smile at her. Then, remembering what he had asked earlier questioned again, "Why did you bite me?"

"I wanted, to, um, taste your blood as well. You know like you did mine. Was it a bad thing to do?"

"No, not at all, but there are some consequences."

Kagome paled. "L-like w-what?" she stuttered.

------------------------------

In your eyes

------------------------------

"Nothing life threatening, though it will change you. Not that you need change. Actually I wasn't even going to ask if you wanted to-"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Kagome," Sesshomaru grasped her hands tightly in his own. "When a dog demon mates, it is for life. And when said dog demon marks his mate she will be bound to him for all time. In a humans case, she would gain her mates life expectancy."

"Life expectancy?"

"Don't interrupt, darling, but to answer your question, it means that you'll live as long as I will. That was my reasoning behind first biting you; you can always stay with me."

Kagome was surprised, but pleased that he wanted to always be with her.

"That's what happened when a demon male mates and marks a human female, however, when the human female marks the male in return, she gains some of his demon blood.

She stared wide-eyed and squeaked, "D-demon b-blood?"

"In other words you will become a demon like myself. A dog-demon o be exact."

"I'm going to become a demon?!"

"It will not be bad, actually I think that you will like it very much."

Kagome jumped out of bed, not caring that she was still naked and started pacing the room.

"Sesshomaru I can't be a demon! I am human! I just can't! How will I be able to face my family, and Sango, Miroku, Shippo, everyone...Inuyasha...Inuyasha! He will be furious! Oh my god this is terrible! No way! I can't-" She stopped finally when she turned to look at Sesshomaru. He sat there on their bed looking depressed and pissed off at the same time. "I-"

"No! Fine, leave and go back to your half-breed! I don't care! But whenever you do you're still going to be a demon!" he yelled at her.

"Sesshomaru..." she whispered, tears in her eyes. "That's not what I meant. I do want to be with you, more than anything, but I just can't be a demon."

"Why not?" Sesshomaru's voice was soft again.

"Because that would mean that I would have to give up everything and everyone I love."

"Not me."

------------------------------

In your eyes

------------------------------

She walked back to their bed and sat down on the edge close to Sesshomaru.

"I'm sorry." She whispered with tears spilling down her rosy cheeks. "Please forgive me, Sesshomaru, I-"

"Shh. It's all right, come here." He said softly, holding his arms open, and when she crawled to him he incased her in a loving embrace. "Everything will be okay. I'll help you with your transformation. I'll be here with you."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Kagome curled up to him and closed her eyes. Her breathing evened out soon after, though she was still half-awake...

As Sesshomaru gazed down at Kagome's beautiful face he started to speak.

"I love you so, so much." He whispered. "But, do you love me too? I know that you want to be with me but..." he ran slender finger down her cheek to he jaw, to the mating mark on her neck. "Earlier, when you asked if I loved you I couldn't answer. You see, I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you.

"Long ago I had promised myself that I would never make the same mistake that my father did. But, now, I know that it wasn't a mistake. It was the best decision that he ever made-that I've ever made. I guess that I didn't answer you because I was half-afraid that you would reject me.

"Silly, I know. But, all the same, I am sorry if I've hurt you. I hope that one day I will be able to tell you everything that you have made me feel. Only in the short time that we have been together, I know that I will love you forever..."

Sesshomaru smiled down at her. "You're so beautiful and kind and loving and so much more...I don't deserve you...my Kagome..."

Kagome opened her eyes, which were shinning with tears once again. "I am the one who doesn't deserve you."

"You were awake?!" he exclaimed softly.

"Yes, I was." She looked into his eyes and cupped his face. "Sesshomaru...I do love you. More than anyone or anything else. I love you so much it my heart hurts. I ache when I think of being separated from you. Please, never don't ever leave me."

Sesshomaru was speechless as a single tear ran down his face and onto her hands.

"Kagome..." He said lovingly. "I'll never leave your side." He then kissed her slowly, tenderly, only to turn it into a passionate exchange.

Soon Sesshomaru had Kagome underneath him again. His erection nudging her wetness, both still blissfully naked.

"Please," Sesshomaru struggled to breathe. "Please let me have you again, let me make love to you."

"Yes, yes, Sesshomaru!" she panted.

And soon after the couple waltzed through the night in each others arms...showing each other their love...sharing themselves completely...

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*A/N~ Wow, gasp, I actually updated! *Dodges tomato* Okay, okay, I get the picture! I won't make you wait so long! Well, I am giving you a really long preview so be happy! *Whimper* Don't hurt me! And don't forget that I just gave you some four thousand words worth of lemon!*

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*Preview*

Chapter 5: Pretense

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken yelled, running through the large mahogany doors with a bang.

"What, Jaken?!" Sesshomaru hissed pulling up the blankets on the bed. Kagome stay lay asleep in his arms and they both naked.

Jaken was so shocked by the scene infront of him that he stopped talking to gawk.

"Jaken, is their some reason that you charged into my bedroom in the early morning? Or, are you just asking for sudden death?" He had kept Kagome up a long time last night and she needed her sleep.

"Oh, I, ah, yes, Lord Sesshomaru," Jaken sputtered, snapping back to reality. "It's your half-brother, Sir, he is at the edge of the western territories and coming closer all the while. His companions are also with him. Apparently he is coming to get his miko."

Sesshomaru's glare could have frozen hell. "You mean MY miko. Kagome is my mate, Jaken. She is to be respected."

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*Trivia*

In which episode in the Inuyasha TV series did Rin begin to speak.

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*A little something extra ~Dialogue~*

Sessh: *Bowing to Ali-chan*

Ali: Um, Sesshy, babe, what are you doing?

Sessh: After that chapter I am now your humble servant.

Ali: *Sweat-drop*

Kag: Get off of the ground, Sesshomaru.

Sessh: *Stands up* But, Kagome!

Ali: Oh, damn, somebody's whipped!

Sessh: *Growl*

Kag: Down boy.

Sessh: *Stops growling*

Ali: Oh, this is rich! The "Great Lord Sesshomaru" bowing to me and being ordered around by Kag-chan! This is priceless!

Sessh: Human, be silent.

Ali: Awe, no more love and admiration, Sesshy?

Sessh: *Snort*

Kag: Now, now, Sesshy, darling, be nice.

Sessh: I am very sorry, Ali-chan, please except my apologies.

Ali: Okay now I am just freaked out! Enough of this goodbye!

Sessh: But-

Ali: Ja!

Sessh: Ali-

Ali: See you later!

Sessh: Hold-

Ali: Peace and love!

Sessh: You stupid bit-

Ali: XOXO!

Sessh: *Throws up hands* Fine, you win! *Leaves stage*

Kag: Buh bye everyone!

^_^

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