InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Betrayal of the Soul ❯ Dreams or Reality ( Chapter 8 )

Dreams or Reality?

`She's ok, thank kami she's ok' he thought as he sat against the tree. He knew that barrier she put up was a bad sign, so when it came down and she was able to talk and eat and move again he relaxed. He could only imagine what would have happened if she hadn't come to. It would have absolutely destroyed him. `Kagome' He felt himself getting tired, it had been a long week. He closed his eyes and was about to go sleep when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Kagome?"

She smiled and sat down in front of me.

"Thank you for worrying about me while I was asleep" She said sweetly.

"I'm, I'm glad your ok" I said honestly. I leaned back into the tree, expecting that was all she came over to say. She had been so distracted with Shippo and Rin making up for the week she hadn't played with them. So for her to find time for him right now was surprising. His eyes focused back on her when she moved closer to him and leaned against him.

"Kagome?" I asked as I instinctively wrapped my hands around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry" she whispered to me, "I didn't mean to scare everyone"

"Its ok, where is everyone?"

"Shippo, and Rin are sleeping, everyone else is gone off doing things" Kagome explained. She leaned into me further and my heart began to race. I knew she could sense the changes and smell them, I tried my best to hide them but it was of no use. She sat up and looked into my eyes.

"I know you really did love me, all this time, I could feel it." She said.

"I'm sorry, if I had maybe been different, not so distracted-"

"Its ok, I loved you too, its to late to change things, I suppose you got the raw end of everything but everything isn't so bad is it?"

"Not everything, your still here" I said as I gently stroked her cheek with a clawed hand.

"I wish there was more I could do for you" Kagome offered.

"There is only one thing I want that I cannot have," I said aloud. As I traced my hand over her mark and hovering over her heart, forcing my body to not react to my hand being so near her chest. I gasped when she reached up and placed my hand on her body.

"Kagome!" I said in shock as I pulled my hand back.

"I thought that was what you wanted," She said as she leaned against me again wrapping her arms around me placing her lips against mine. I knew it was wrong, I knew I should stop, but I couldn't. I pushed her onto the ground beneath me and deepened the kiss. She belonged to my brother, I knew that, but I had her first, and I wanted her for mine. I explored her body with my hands I could hear small moans as I slid her clothes from her body. She clung to me in anticipation. I shoved into her and she cried out my name. Just like she had cried out Sesshoumaru's, she moaned like I had overheard and wished for my self.

"Kagome!" I moaned as I finished. I heard Kagome calling my name but the voice wasn't coming from her. I looked away from the Kagome beneath me and looked around for the source of the voice. Everything around me slipped away and I blinked and opened my eyes to see Kagome walking towards me shouting my name. I had to get away from her before she realized what I had been doing. I shouted something similar to the usual grunt and ran away. I continued going till I reached the hot spring and took off my clothes rinsing away the evidence. Then I got into the water myself and washed off. I sniffed to make sure there was no proof left. I put the wet clothes back on and walked back to the village. Right before I came into sight, I put on the angriest face I could muster. They all knew I'd been furious for Kikyo disappearing into the forest and hiding in a barrier. It wouldn't be hard to pull off. Kagome glanced up at me as I stomped towards them. Kagome looked at me oddly for a second.

"Kikyo still keeping you out?" She asked concerned. I glared at her, grunted and kept walking. My eyes darted towards the others as if daring them to try and talk to me, just try. Sango squeezed the hilt of her katana and glared back at me. She knew I was playing games, she caught me at the hot spring a few days ago, pleasing myself and she heard me say Kagome's name and not Kikyo. I was so distracted that I didn't notice she was there until it was to late. Sango was the only one that knew, that when I was supposedly over at the edge of the barrier trying to get Kikyo to come out, I was really sleeping or at the hot spring, fantasizing about my brothers mate. Miroku was suspicious of me only because of the way that Sango was acting. I could handle it, but I didn't know how much longer I could handle my jealousy towards Sesshoumaru. I wanted Kagome so badly… I had no desire for Kikyo, none. When I first realizing she was keeping herself hidden by a barrier I was angry, more like furious. Then I began to enjoy her being gone. When Sesshoumaru wasn't around, I could almost pretend everything was like it had been. Almost, all Kagome had to do to crush my dream, was turn in just the right way that her hair wasn't covering her mark. In the moment I saw the mark, my heart sank and everything was real again. I pushed aside the door and slammed it behind me. Kaede glanced up at me as I sat against the ground. I growled in warning incase she felt the need to talk to me. I placed tessaiga in my lap and closed my eyes.

"You think he'll ever be ok?" Miroku asked as he sat next to Sango.

"I suppose"

"Yeah, once Kikyo lets down her barrier and comes back" Miroku said, reminding Sango how unaware the others were. She had a feeling that Kagome was suspicious; Inu Yasha underestimated her hearing and sense of smell. Several times Kagome had come dangerously close to him at times he was otherwise occupied. If he wasn't able to realize how close she was that she actually caught him, who's to say it wont happen with someone else. Possibly even Sesshoumaru?

"Yeah it's a possibility" Sango lied. She knew that when Kikyo finally did come back, things could only get worse. The look on Inu Yasha's face when she had caught him was heart breaking. Maybe if no one else knew that he was fantasizing, then his fantasies could feel more real. He hadn't been so grumpy before she caught him. She wished she hadn't seen him. Knowing that everything Kagome had ever wanted, she could have had once Inu Yasha thought he couldn't have her. It was some pattern; he always wanted what he couldn't have, never able to see what was right in front of him. Shippo and Rin ran past her playing another game of tag. Sango glanced over at Kagome and noticed that she was focused on the door to the hut and not watching her `children'. Sango stood up and sat down next to Kagome.

"Something wrong Kagome-Chan?"

"I'm worried about him, he's hiding something from me. I know I shouldn't be affected like this, not after everything. But I still care, and he's hiding something big."

"Maybe he's hiding it for a good reason?" Sango suggested, attempted to squash it before it escalating into Kagome figuring it out.

"He always things its for a good reason, but it usually isn't"

`Oh yes it is, he's still madly in love with you and wants nothing more than to have you and be rid of Kikyo and Sesshoumaru'

"I know, he'll come to you in time if he needs to, but maybe giving him space is the only thing you can do right now." Sango said truthfully. The last thing they needed was Kagome startling Inu Yasha while he's tending to his needs and causing him to lose control. Inu Yasha would be dead within hours. `Damn Sesshoumaru, damn Kikyo, if they had just stayed away that night, Kagome and Inu Yasha would have made up like they always do. Instead Kagome is hurting, Inu Yasha is being torn up and those two are around' Sango ranted in her mind. Kagome suddenly stood up and walked towards the trees. Sango didn't have to question why she left, Sesshoumaru was back. He had left to get rid of Jaken…thank kami. One more incident with him and the entire village would have killed him. She doubted Sesshoumaru would have stopped them either.

Kagome quietly walked through the trees with Sesshoumaru. His arm gently resting on her shoulders so that he could secretly prevent her from accidentally wandering to the well. Instead he lead her towards their spot, the place they had first made love. Where they tended to sleep every night. Sesshoumaru still couldn't bring himself to go into the village for a long amount of time. Kagome had promised that they would return to the castle to live one day. So he tolerated her love of the humans in the village. There was only one thing he refused to tolerate, Inu Yasha's affections for Kagome. He knew she was taken, but still found Inu Yasha watching her with longing.

`Why did I make that inane promise to not kill him' Sesshoumaru cursed inwardly.

"Is something wrong Sesshoumaru?" Kagome asked, nervous from the silence.

"I cannot stand the way he continues to look at you" Sesshoumaru declared.

"The way…who looks at me?" Kagome thought aloud.

"The half breed, he longs for you, I see it in his eyes, it disgusts me, if not for my promise to not kill him, he would have had his eyes plucked out the first time I caught him. Do you not know he goes off into the woods to…" Sesshoumaru swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. "He goes into the woods to please himself, with thoughts of you"

Kagome froze at his words; sure she was suspicious that something was going on with him, but to that extent. She knew to not question Sesshoumaru, he would never accuse Inu Yasha of something he truly hadn't done.

"Oh"

"It has to stop, I cannot tolerate this behavior" Sesshoumaru demanded.

"What am I supposed to do, walk up to him, say `hey you masturbate to me, stop'" Kagome said annoyed.

"I don't care how it ends, but if I catch him doing it, I can't promise I wont kill him. He has no right to think of you in that way" Sesshoumaru said, his voice regaining its icy calmness.

"The only way to make it end, is to get Kikyo to come back, while I'm able to get through her barrier, so is Inu Yasha, how do I explain that to her, I'm here to get you to come out even though Inu Yasha hasn't, so that he stops thinking about me. I hate her, but I wont do that" Kagome huffed as she sat down to think.

"Do you still love him?" Sesshoumaru questioned at her unwillingness to stop his behavior.

"Of course I still care about him, but as a friend, you cant expect me to turn off my feelings for the rest of the world just because I love you and I'm mated to you" Kagome yelled. Sesshoumaru watched her intently; she had just yelled at him that she loved him. Was she even aware of her declaration? Kagome looked up at Sesshoumaru, wondering why he wasn't responding to being yelled at. Instead he looked amused.

"Is something funny about all this to you?" Kagome demanded rising to her feet.

"Amusing, yes" Sesshoumaru teased.

"Well, I'm glad you find all this fun" Kagome whined.

"I love you too" Sesshoumaru said as he bent over and kissed her. Kagome blinked and stared at him as he pulled away. Her heart pounded in her ears as he watched her. Sesshoumaru smirked and stroked her cheek. Kagome blinked again still trying to process those simple four words.

"I love you" Sesshoumaru repeated louder. Now she knew she wasn't crazy he'd told her he loved her.

"You love me?" Kagome managed to say.

"You have to ask" Sesshoumaru stated as he dejectedly removed his hand from her cheek. Kagome quickly grabbed it and pulled him back to her. She smiled up at him and then rested her head against him

"I love you," She whispered into his chest. Sesshoumaru smiled and wrapped his arms around Kagome.

"You still have to deal with him, before I am forced to, but you know I hate breaking promises"

"I know" Kagome groaned.

"You should relax, you're tense" Sesshoumaru commented as he stepped behind her and gently massaged her shoulders and back.

"Hmm, that's nice"

Sesshoumaru growled playfully and nipped at her ear. She giggled as her turned her around to face her.

"I wish we could continue this" Sesshoumaru said.

"Me too" Kagome moaned. "But I'm not ready for that yet"

"Do you not want to have pups with me?" Sesshoumaru asked, silently terrified of her answer, if she said no, then he would have to find another inu youkai bitch to carry his pup, because of his position, he had to produce one male heir.

"No, I do, its just, right now, we're staying here, and I don't wish to be pregnant, when you refuse to step foot into the village for more than 10 minutes."

"So, when we return home, you will accept me during your time in heat" Sesshoumaru questioned optimistically.

"Yes of course"

"Well, for now, I have other means" Sesshoumaru said playfully as his hand slid up her blouse…

Inu Yasha looked at the barrier in front of him, he didn't want to go in, and he didn't want to make her come back. It didn't matter what he wanted… he had to. He cautiously put his finger up the barrier and pushed it through. When nothing bad happened he walked in. She looked up at him as he approached.

"I didn't think you'd come," She said sadly.

"Keh, of course I came. I was hoping you'd come out on your own," Inu Yasha bluffed.

"Don't lie to me," Kikyo said as she stood up. "Lets go back to the village, you came, and I'm coming"

"Wait, Kikyo, I'm not lying, I was hoping you'd come out, its just, hard. I'm confused, that's all, but I'm not…"

"Please stop" She sighed as the barrier fell and she walked away.

"KIKYO!" Inu Yasha called after her, but she didn't stop walking. "KIKYO!"

`I wish she'd never told me, I wish I never knew what happened while she was with Naraku, it wouldn't have mattered. If I had just shut up…' Inu Yasha thought to himself as he followed her back into the village.

Kagome frowned and lifted her head from Sesshoumaru's shoulder.

"Did you hear him?" Kagome asked.

"I did"

"He went to her, I wont have to confront him." Kagome said relieved.

"It might not be enough to stop him" Sesshoumaru considered aloud.

"What do you mean?"

"He is part youkai, his youkai half may have already begun to consider you his mate, and so while the hanyou, or human part does not realize it, he believes deep down that, you are his"

"NO!" Kagome yelled at him as she shoved him away. Kagome wrapped her arms around her chest protectively. "He didn't, he loved her, and he always loved HER, not me!" Kagome began sobbing. Sesshoumaru walked up to her and pulled her back into his arms.

"Will you ever get past his damage" Sesshoumaru asked. Kagome swallowed and looked up at him, fresh tears brimming her eyes.

"I love you, but I love him"

"I wonder, if I hadn't found you that night, if you would have gone back to him"

"No, he went to her he picked her, it was over. I would have only broken more"

"Then let it go, let go of him"

"How, how do I just leave it all behind, all the memories and emotions"

"The same dilemma that Inu Yasha faces with Kikyo, is it not?" Sesshoumaru said wisely. Kagome looked into his eyes curiously, "If I can help them, maybe it will help me"

"Perhaps" Sesshoumaru suggested as he turned and walked back towards the village. Kagome stood and considered everything for a minute, when she noticed Sesshoumaru had gained some distance on her, "HEY WAIT FOR ME!" She yelled and ran after him.