InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bishies Without Shirts ❯ Old dog, new tricks... ( Chapter 38 )

Chapter 38: Old dog, new tricks…

Inuyasha stared at his brother for several minutes, dumbstruck and wondering what exactly he was supposed to do with this new revelation that seemed to have set the world on it's ear. Unable to come up with a proper reaction, let alone a response of any kind, he slowly and stiffly pulled himself from the sofa, ignoring the sharp cries of protest that leapt up from his right shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Sesshoumaru asked curiously and slightly unnerved. Inuyasha shook his head silently and shambled toward the kitchen. "Where are you going?" Sesshoumaru demanded, but the hanyou did not respond.

"Fool, haven't you listened to a single word that anyone has said? You're not to be up and about!" Inuyasha paused for a moment, resting against the doorframe that lead into the other room for support. He kept his back to Sesshoumaru; he couldn't trust his face at that moment.

"What the hell do you care?" he growled weakly. "You're just going to kill me anyway, right?"

"Yes, but not this afternoon! I want to have the pleasure of ripping you apart with my bare hands, and I wouldn't want to get blood on Higurashi-san's carpet. Now get back here and rest."

"No." Inuyasha groaned as he shifted back onto his feet, keeping one hand on the wall to steady himself so that he wouldn't tumble forward onto the floor and break something important. "I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to find the Tylenol, I don't give a shit what Higurashi-baba says about an empty stomach, and then I'm going to search this shitheap until I find Tetsusaiga and the rest of my armor. Then I'm going to walk all the way to that goddamn school and drag my woman out of there, kicking and screaming if I have to because I just don't give a shit anymore, and it serves me right if I reopen my shoulder because if I'd just been a f***ing man in the first place and put my foot down this morning, I wouldn't have to drag my sorry ass all the way out there. And once I have my katana, my armor and my mate, …and some ramen…" he added quietly, "I am taking them all and I am going home. Feel free to follow, but I warn you that once we're back on our own lands, I'm going to give you until the count of five to get so far away from me that I can't even smell your noxious odor, and if you don't, I think I'll have to kill you."

"I-" Sesshoumaru began unsteadily, before lapsing back into the familiar pattern of abuse that fit him so comfortably. "I wasn't aware that you could count that high, Inuyasha."

"I'm going to have to keep reminding myself that you put me down because you're jealous of me." Inuyasha said quietly, more to himself than to Sesshoumaru. "I always thought it was because I wasn't pure blooded, and of course, you let me believe it, so why wouldn't I? You know, one time I was talking about this with Sango, and she said-"

"She?! Another one?!" Sesshoumaru barked incredulously, jumping headfirst into another disapproving monologue, in an attempt to dissuade his little brother from his current line of thought. "You really are remarkably pathetic! Does your little ningen mate know about this one as well? You're starting to worry me, oto-chan. Surely they can't all be on those preventative medicines! Fuck! How long until I start seeing little cross-blood whelps with our father's eyes running around the hills of my domain, digging up my countryside-"

"Shut up!" Inuyasha roared, turning to face his brother. "Stop spewing your hate at me! It think it's more toxic than those stupid claws of yours! It's not my fault! I can't help the way you feel! I'm not even sure why you care anyway, because apart from my katana, you have everything else! You have the lands, the education, the title, Tensaiga, you've got cronies to bow low to you and kiss your ass, you even got oyajii's face! And more importantly, you have memories! Everything was neatly handed to you when Chichi-ue died, but you still want more! You call ME spoiled?! What have I got? I've got a sword and my skin and my teeth and my claws and a dead girl who shot me through the heart who is still finding ways to make me suffer, and a pretty little miko who thinks I'm her fucking HERO, but really has no idea what kind of a monster I really am, a few friends who like nothing better than reminding me of what a stupid jerk I am on a fairly regular basis, not to mention a homicidal older brother who wants to rip me limb from limb merely for EXISTING and making him feel bad about himself! Well tough shit! Get over it! You have everything! I should resent you, but honestly, I don't even care! I have asked you for NOTHING in this life, with the exception of five minutes ago, when I asked you to rinse out the bucket, and even then you refused! I am no threat to you! I don't want your precious stuff! All I want, all I've EVER wanted after you drove me away was just to be left alone to live my own life! Now that I've got a mate, all I have to do is get my revenge on that bastard who killed Kikyo, and then I can settled down, stay out of your hair and maybe raise a few pups! What's so terrible about that?! It has nothing to do with you! Now keep that poisonous tongue in your mouth and leave me be! I'm doing my best to help you get home faster, so the very least you can do is get off my back. I'm having enough trouble carrying my own weight around…"

"And you're going to walk all the way to this school?" Sesshoumaru asked dubiously. "You can barely stand."

"You don't know me." the hanyou said simply, turning his back on his brother once more. "Besides, much as I hate to admit it, you were right about one thing. That hangover cure is powerful stuff. Though you'd figure it'd have to be, judging by the way it tasted going down. Do I dare ask what was in it?"

"Why? Are you planning on making a habit out of playing the drunken fool, like our father?" Inuyasha made a sour face this suggestion.

"Gods no. I didn't want to drink it in the first place."

"Then don't ask."

"Fine then, pretend I didn't." Stumbling into the kitchen, Inuyasha found the bottle of Tylenol sitting unopened on the kitchen table, where Higurashi-san had left it. He was relieved that finding it had been easy enough, but then opening it proved to be another matter entirely. After several failed attempts, he finally got fed up and bit the top of the bottle off completely. Spitting the cap out onto the floor, he tried to remember just how many of the little white tablets Higurashi-san had given him all those times before.

"Two." Sesshoumaru said softly as if reading his mind, coming up behind him to investigate.

"I would have remembered." Inuyasha said indignantly, pouring a small pile of the tablets onto the counter, then picking out four of them with the tip of his claw. He popped them all into his mouth at once, then reached over to turn on the kitchen sink and ducked his head under the faucet to lap at the cool water directly, washing the pills down.

"That was four." Sesshoumaru sighed, shaking his head.

"I know that. It's not a bee sting, you know, it hurts!" Inuyasha explained, growling softly.

"Higurashi-san said you're supposed to eat something. There's probably a reason for that."

"What are you, my wet nurse all of a sudden? Fine, ofukuro, I'll eat something!" It was no great hardship, seeing as how he was hungry anyway, so he reached over and opened the cabinet in front of him to look for something quick, revealing, much to his surprise, his most beloved of all foods. Looking up at the brightly colored packages longingly, he wondered to himself, 'Is there time? They are instant…but Kagome usually makes them… Well, how hard could it be?'

"Here!" he barked, handing one of the Styrofoam cups to Sesshoumaru. "Redeem yourself."

"What?"

"Read the directions. I already know basically what to do, you just check and make sure I'm doing it right."

"What are you doing?"

"Making food. Delicious food."

"How domestic of you…" Sesshoumaru sneered distastefully.

"You won't have any smart ass comments after you taste this stuff, fluffy. Gods…" he sighed in anticipation, smiling happily for the first time that morning.

"You need a cooking pot." Sesshoumaru said dryly as he read the directions off the top of the cup, doing his best to ignore the 'fluffy' remark. Getting aggravated would only encourage the whelp.

"They're under there." Inuyasha said, pointing to the cabinet by Sesshoumaru's right knee, then waiting expectantly, his hand held out for the pot. Sesshoumaru eyed him coolly, then looked away.

"You said read, oto-chan, you never said anything about fetching. I don't fetch."

"I can't get down on my hands and knees, asshole, I'll tear my shoulder open again. Otherwise I wouldn't ask. Come on, it's two seconds out of your life."

"Very well." the demon sighed, condescending to stoop for a moment. "Here." he said, handing the little pot to Inuyasha, "Now put some water in it."

"Yeah, I already know that…" Inuyasha huffed, walking over to the sink and filling the pot up halfway.

"Then why am I even bothering to read this if you already know?" Sesshoumaru snapped at him.

"Because I can't, Baka, and I need you to tell me what comes next!" Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and looked back down at the cup in his hand.

"Boil the water."

"Ok, easy enough." Inuyasha reached over and turned on the stove, causing a small, blue flame to pop up underneath the pot, and prompting a mild reaction of surprise from his brother.

"How do you know how to work that thing? I can't honestly believe that Higurashi-san encourages a baka kusotare like you to play with things that draw a flame."

"…jealous…" Inuyasha reminded himself under his breath. "It was awhile back. Kagome was sick, so I came over here and made her the medicine that my ofukuro used to make for me when I was sick. Higurashi-san showed me how to use the stove, because I wanted to do it myself…mainly because I didn't want her to see what was going into it, because had she known, I doubt she would have let me give it to her daughter. Humans are so particular… Anyway, it wasn't so complicated that I wouldn't remember how to use it."

"I see. Interesting…You care for the wench when she is ill, and yet, when you are wounded protecting her life, she's nowhere to be found…"

"A situation that I am about to remedy, onii-chan." Inuyasha muttered, starting to become irritated. "The problem is that my bitch is still very young and stupid-"

"And technically not a bitch at all."

"Yes…" Inuyasha seethed through clenched teeth, "…technically… but that shouldn't matter. She just needs to be taught."

"Who are you trying to fool, Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru laughed condescendingly. "From what I've seen, you're the only one being taught anything. She dresses you up like a ningen, shows you off to her friends, parading you around like some new plaything… she even has you mating like one of them, and if I hadn't seen that with my own eyes, I never would have believed that such a thing was possible. I refuse to believe that you actually enjoyed it that way, laying down on a bed, on top of her! That's not natural, oto-chan. Admit it, she has you collared like a house pet."

"I've been lax with her, I'll admit that. But that's all about to change. When we get back, she's going to get a quick, hard lesson in what it means to be the mate of an inuyoukai. You'll see who's the house pet, nii-"

"Your water's boiling over." Sesshoumaru warned.

"Shit!" Inuyasha exclaimed, then "Ow!" as he grabbed the handle with his bare hand, burning himself. "Dammit…"

"I thought you knew what you were doing…"

"Enough already! Stop hen-pecking me! Gods, you're worse than she is… Hand me that cup…now I fill them up with the hot wateeeeeeeerrrrr…..aaaaaaannnnd, we wait." They stood together in complete silence for a few seconds, watching the two steaming cups intently, as if waiting for something miraculous to happen, until finally, Sesshoumaru leaned his head over to his brother's ear.

"For how long?" he whispered, not wishing to disturb whatever was taking place inside the large white cups on the kitchen table.

"Too long." Inuyasha whispered back, his eyes never leaving the white curls of steam that rose up from beneath the foil lids that covered the tops of the cups. "But Kagome swears it's only three minutes…has it been three minutes yet?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't think so."

"Damn. This is taking too long…"

"Inuyasha, I'd be amazed if it's been more than five minutes from the time that you opened that cabinet."

"I'm in a hurry!" Inuyasha shot back at him. "I have to get to that school and back again before Higurashi-san gets it into her head to come check on us or something equally annoying. I'd ask you to cover for me, but we all know how good are at that…"

"In all fairness, I never agreed to cover for you that day. And I don't see why you're trying to be sneaky. She's going to figure it out when you return with the wegome several hours earlier than expected."

"Yeah, well, there's a big difference between finding out about it after the fact, and trying to stop me before I even get out the door. And that's why I'm not waiting for this stuff anymore. Three minutes or not, time's up because I said so!" Finding the drawer that housed the chopsticks, Inuyasha handed a pair to Sesshoumaru, and placed his brother's cup on a nearby counter, peeling off the lid for him.

"Here. Eat it."

"Hmmm… I don't know. How do I know you didn't poison it or something?" Sesshoumaru said thoughtfully, referring back to the hanyou's poor behavior over breakfast that morning.

"Funny. You're very funny. That was a valid concern, you know. You are poisonous, and you were touching my bowl!"

"And you didn't want to eat it." the youkai added.

"And I didn't want to eat it. But eat this it's good."

"Better than shhocolate?" Sesshoumaru asked mockingly, raising an eyebrow.

"Better than bacon. And I think that even the people in the next town over are aware of how fond you are of that, nii-chan." Inuyasha quipped, peeling the lid off of his own cup of noodles.

"You make it too easy, whelp." Sesshoumaru chuckled.

"Seriously, though." Inuyasha said, pointing at Sesshoumaru with his chopsticks, "Dig in, cause I'm not waiting any longer, and if you don't I'll have to eat both of them, and then I might just get a cramp, or get sick again and happen to miss the bucket…"

"Are you trying to convince me to eat or not with this disgusting conversation?"

"Jush ea it, you pai in the ash..." Inuyasha mumbled, his mouth already stuffed full of noodles. Eyeing the cup on the counter like it might hold a vat of tiny poisonous snakes rather than instant noodles, Sesshoumaru dipped his chopsticks into the broth and brought the tiniest bite he could manage up to his lips. He slurped thoughtfully for a moment, and then his eyes actually widened in surprise, his eyebrows disappearing behind his long, shaggy bangs.

"Ah! Good! Inuyasha, this is…good!"

~

"Are you certain that I can't convince you to wait a few more hours?" Sesshoumaru said as he watched his younger brother pull up the zipper on the baggy blue jeans as they both stood in the wench's bedroom. "There's no need for this. And at the rate you're moving, the wegome will be home before you even make it down the front steps." Inuyasha ignored Sesshoumaru's remarks and continued to dress himself in the futuristic clothing that Kagome had brought home for him the other night. He pulled the baseball cap down on his head firmly, the turned to look at Sesshoumaru.

"Can you see them?"

"No."

"Great. Can you tie these shoes?" he said, looking down at his feet.

"No."

"Why not?" he asked, scowling.

"I only have one arm, imbecile!" Sesshoumaru spat back at him. "Tie your own shoes."

"(You) I don't know how." they said simultaneously.

"Right, of course you don't…" the youkai sighed.

"I've never worn them!" Inuyasha said defensively.

"No, no, I know…" Sesshoumaru blew air through his nose. "You see? This is a bad idea."

"No." Inuyasha said, sitting down on the floor to fumble with the laces, hoping that maybe he'd get lucky. "Letting her go off to the well on her own three days ago was a bad idea. This is necessary. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm impatient. I want to go home, and I want to go home NOW. Besides, this will be a good lesson for Kagome. She needs to learn who's in charge here."

"If you say so…but it's only the matter of a few hours…"

"Phht!" Inuyasha snorted derisively. "Look at all that's happened in 'a matter of a few hours' over the last three days! I'm not taking that chance. I'm going. Besides, you act like a real bitch when you're cooped up for too long, and I'm sure we'll both be much happier when we can go our separate ways… Aww, fuck the shoes!" Inuyasha cursed, kicking them off. "They'll just slow me down. I don't plan on being there long enough for anyone to notice anyway!" Standing up straight, he brushed the wrinkles out of his shirt and glanced apprehensively over at Sesshoumaru.

"So…how do I look?"

"Stupid…vapid…edible…," his brother rattled off, "To name a few…"

"So I either look like a ningen, or a cow…"

"Yes." Sesshoumaru nodded. "Whichever. Does it really matter?"

"No." Inuyasha said, his voice pitched up with a hint of surprise. "As long as I don't look a hanyou, I guess it doesn't. Alright. That's it, I'm off."

"You certainly are."

"Don't do anything to call attention to yourself while I'm gone." Inuyasha called over his shoulder as he hopped down the stairs and out the front door.

"Look who's talking." Sesshoumaru grumbled, laying down on the little pink bedspread.