InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bittersweet ❯ More than friends... ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Bittersweet.

By: Nikki. T. (Chibi-Inu13)

Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama

Rating: R

Warnings: Non. May contain OOC.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, they all belong to the talented Rumiko Takahashi.

 

Part 1: More Than Friends

 

Bittersweet: pleasure tinged with pain or sorrow; sweetness with a bitter aftertaste.

 

 

You should have known that something was up. The light touches here and there, the whispers, the occasional blushing. The way that for the past few weeks, months even, that they were inseparable - one never seen without the other just a few inches away. You try to ignore it; it was just probably your imagination. They couldn't be more than friends, they just couldn't.

 

But then these little things became bigger things. The light touches became less discrete and more noticeable; the blushing became more frequent. And lets not forget the so -called friendly kisses on the cheek, oh how could you not forget those, - which where just a tad too long to be considered friendly.

 

You ask them time and time again if something was up.

 

`You're just imagining things,' she would say with a soft smile on her lips, `nothing's going on, it's just… platonic.'

 

She's lying.

 

You know she's lying. You can tell by the tone of her voice, which wavers a bit when she's lying.

 

You don't voice this but just nod your head in agreement.

 

So you ask him if anything is going on. He would laugh and pat you on the back. `You know that I never kiss and tell Yash,' he would reply with an odd twinkle in his eyes.

 

So you ask him if there was anything going on between them. He just laughs again and smiles. `Nope of course not…it's just…platonic.'

 

Hmmm…how many times have you heard that word now? Twice maybe? Yup, twice you've heard that word.

 

And so it continues, the light touches here and there, the blushing and the friendly kisses on the cheek. You wish that they would just come out and tell you what was so plainly obvious, that they were together. You wish that they wouldn't hide this from you, they're your best friends; things like this shouldn't be kept a secret.

 

So you continue watching from the sidelines- the flirting, the blushing, the kisses - and a feeling of sadness overcomes you.

 

You wish that this wasn't happening, you wish that this was just a bad dream.

 

You wish that you were the one flirting, blushing and receiving the kisses from her…

 

No…don't finish that thought. You don't wish that, she's you're best friend…you can't be thinking about her like that. She's like your sister for god's sake.

 

But still…

 

Oh well…they aren't even a real couple, you tell yourself over and over again. Like they said it was just platonic, nothing could every happen between those two.

 

They couldn't be more than friends. They just couldn't.

 

***

You watch them over the rim of the cup you bring to your lips. They're sitting together across from you - she's practically sitting in his lap. He's whispering something to her, something that causes her to blush and punch him playfully on the arm. You try not to frown as he wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her small frame against his.

 

This bothers you but you don't know why. Who cares if she's blushing over something he said, knowing him it was just something perverted like always.

 

You set the half-empty cup down and watch them quietly. She reaches for her cup on the coffee table, her hand brushing against his as he reaches for his cup at the same time. (Coincidence maybe? Perhaps not.) They blush and he mutters a quiet apology. She nods - her eyes downcast - as she brings her cup to her lips.

 

You can't but help notice how pretty she looks all flushed and embarrassed.

 

She places her cup gently on the table and mutters a quiet `excuse me' as she gets up and walks to the washroom; your eyes following her as she crosses the room. You notice how she purposely avoids looking at him, her cobalt eyes staring firmly at her feet.

 

You tear your gaze from her and watch him from the corner of your eye. He's watching her intently, his violet eyes never wavering from her form as she walks past him. He continues watching her until she leaves his field of vision. You hear him sigh softly, and he reaches for his drink again.

 

`She sure is something else,' he whispers quietly that you almost don't catch what he's saying.

 

`Yeah,' you swallow, `she sure is.'

 

A few minutes of silence pass between you, the only sound is of the small clock hanging on the wall.

 

Tick…tick… tick.

 

`Hey Yash.'

 

`Yeah,' you answer back as you take a sip of your drink, an odd feeling of foreboding in your stomach.

 

Tick…tick…tick.

 

`What do you think of Kagome and me.'

 

You clutch the cup in your hand. `I think you guys are the most loyal friends I've ever had,' you reply earnestly.

 

`No…I'm not asking you that,' he replies quietly, his eyes never straying from his feet. `I'm asking you what you think about us.'

 

You swallow the growing lump in your throat. `What are you trying to say.' Your knuckles slowly turn white as you grip the cup tighter, so tight that you're afraid it might shatter in your hands.

 

Tick…tick…tick…

 

He looks up and runs a hand through his hair. `What I'm saying is that I like Kagome.'

 

You nod your head in understanding. `Yeah, I like her too,' you reply.

 

He licks his lips nervously. `No, what I'm trying to say is that I like her Yash. As in like, like her.' He pauses and stares off into space. `Can I ask you something?' He says quietly.

 

`What?' you ask.

 

`Do you love her?'

 

This question catches you off guard. Why would he be asking you this? `Of course I do. I love her as if she were my own sister.'

 

He shakes his head. `But do you love her.'

 

You're breath hitches in your throat at his question. So he was asking if you were in love with her. Now that was an easy question, of course you weren't. But you can't deny that Kagome isn't a very desirable woman. In fact, at one point you were attracted to her, but even you know the difference between love and lust and what you felt with Kagome was lust. Wasn't it?

 

`Of course I don't,' you finally say.

 

`Are you sure? I could've sworn that…' He trails off and shakes his head, causing you to quirk an eyebrow in question. He chuckles nervously and leans back into the couch. `Sorry, I just always thought that you had a thing for her. Stupid isn't it?'

 

`Yeah…stupid.' You laugh uneasily.

 

He sits there quietly staring at his feet. `I love her you know.'

 

Right now you're suppose to jump up and yell out `I knew it!' Then you are suppose to congratulate him on something that you had always known was about to happen and tell him that you are happy for them. But instead you feel like the bottom of your stomach just fell and the only thing that you can say is `Oh.' This can't be right. They're friends. They can't be more than friends.

 

You slowly bring your cup to your lips, but quickly set it down as you realize it is empty.

 

This can't be happening. No, this is a joke. Some cruel joke that Miroku was playing on you. Any second now he's going to burst out laughing and say `gotcha.' Then Kagome is going to walk in and you'll all laugh about it like you always do when Miroku plays one of his stupid jokes.

 

But no, that doesn't happen. Instead he's looking at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to say something and you know that this isn't a joke.

 

`And I think…I think that she lo-likes me too,' he says quietly.

 

Your throat is so dry that you can only nod in response. So that was it, you were right all along. There was something going on between them…well if there wasn't before, there was definitely something that was going to happen between them now.

 

`Are you…are you going to tell her this?' You ask, staring at the cup in front of you. You know this is a stupid question. Of course he's going to tell her, why the hell wouldn't he?

 

You hear him shift slightly on the couch. `I was hoping to tell her today, but I…' he trails off.

 

You look up, one hand still clutching the cup tightly in its grasp; the other balled up into a fist beside you. `But what?'

 

`But,' he starts off hesitantly, ` I wanted to ask you first. You're my…no our best friend Yash, and I wanted to know if you had any problems with this. Your opinion matters to us a lot'

 

You have to admit that you do feel a little happy that he thought about your feelings as well before taking the plunge and asking Kagome to be his.

 

`So do you?'

 

You sit and think a while. Do you have any problems with this? No, you're happy for them. You knew this was going to happen, all those signs led up to this. It was inevitable. But a part of you is sad, jealous even. You try to picture him and her together. Holding hands, kissing…getting married…

 

`No,' you finally say, though it sounds a bit forced to you. `I don't have a problem with it.'

 

`Really?'

 

You look at him and force a smile. `I'm…I'm happy for you guys.' You're lying through your teeth.

 

He lets out a breath that you didn't even know he was holding. His shoulders slump forward a little and he smiles. `Thank you.'

 

Before you can ask him what for, an angelic voice reaches your ears, your heart speeding up a bit. `So…what did you boys talk about while I was gone?'

 

You both turn around and see her stand there, the smile on her face literally taking your breath away, just like it always does. You know that the smile is having the same effect on Miroku for his smile widens at the sight of her.

 

`Oh nothing, just…guy stuff,' you answer breathlessly.

 

She seems to not notice her effect on you as she walks gracefully back to her seat beside him. A strange feeling enters your heart as he again wraps an arm around her. She subconsciously leans in towards him and you can't help but tear your gaze from the sight.

 

`What kind of stuff?' she asks innocently.

 

`Oh you know Kagome, just things that guys normally talk about when girls aren't around.' Miroku says playfully.

 

She rolls her eyes and you bite back a smile at how cute she looks. `Boys,' she sighs over dramatically.

 

Miroku grins and pulls her closer to him. `You know you love me,' he whispers in her ear teasingly.

 

A few seconds past by and you notice the wrinkles on her forehead which she always gets when she's thinking something over. She then turns to face him, a strange look in her eyes. `Course I do, but the question is do you love me?' she asks with no trace of playfulness in her voice.

 

You take in a sharp breath as you feel as if your heart was being crushed in a vice. You know that look in her eyes. It was the same look that Miroku always gave her when he thought that no one was looking. And you know by her posture -her back straight, her hands folded in her lap -that she's serious.

 

So she did love him back. For some reason it seems different when she says it. When Miroku told you how he felt, you had a feeling that it wasn't true. It felt surreal, like a dream that you could wake up from and never remember happening. But when she said it…it seemed so…real. And you knew it wasn't a dream, and you can't wake up from this.

 

You start to feel strange as you watch the silent exchange between them. You feel as if you just walked into something intimate between them, but you didn't. They're just staring at each other, but it's the way that they are that makes it feel so intimate. They're staring at each other like lovers do, but they aren't lovers. Well not yet. Another sharp pain goes through your heart and you have to look away. What's wrong with you?

 

You cough, ruining their moment but you just have to get away from them…from this. You have to get away from the feeling, as if you're suffocating, as you watch them smile at each other. `Sorry to interrupt guys but I got to go.'

 

This brings them out of their dazed stupor and you can't help but feel a bit relieved when they slowly inch away from each other. `Oh don't go yet Yash,' She pleads, `we never hang out as much as we used to.' She smiles at you and you know that you'd do anything for her, just to see her smile. But when you look at Miroku, you break out of your trance and you know that he wants to be alone with her, just by the look he's giving you.

 

`Sorry Kagome but I really do have to go, but how `bout we hang out next week?' You notice Miroku give you a grateful smile beside her, but she seems to not notice. She's too busy staring at you and you love the attention.

 

She tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear and bites her lower lip, which she always does when she's upset. `Alright.'

 

You get up and are about to leave when she pulls you into a tight hug. You wrap your arms around her and the feeling of content, which always fills you when you hug her, runs through your body.

 

`See you later,' she whispers in your ear, her grazing your skin causing a shiver to go down your spine.

 

`Of course,' you whisper back.

 

As she pulls away you can't help but feel a part of you being pulled away also. She flashes you a quick smile and walks back towards Miroku. You let yourself out, but not without one last look over your shoulder.

 

You can't help but notice how much…in love they look. It's so sweet it sickens you. They speak with their heads so close together, her arm wrapped around his waist while his are around her. He's whispering in her ear slowly, his lips so close to her skin that they look like they are just grazing it softly. She smiles one of those rare smiles she has, which she only reserves for when she is really happy. You've only seen her smile like that three times and all three times they were because of you. But now they are because of him and its making you feel a tad bit jealous. You're about to leave, you can't take much more of this, but just as you're about to turn away, he stops speaking and kisses her on the lips. You can't turn away, you want to but you can't. It's as if your body has a will of its own. And when you think that it can't get any worse, she kisses him back.

 

And that's when you wish that the earth would just open up and swallow you whole.

 

You leave her house, your hand clutching your chest as you find it suddenly hard to breathe, and get away as fast as possible. If you didn't have a problem with them together then why did the sight of them kissing kill you inside? The thought of them doing that wasn't so bad but there is a difference between imagination and reality. And right now you wish that this is in your head and not real.

 

You shake your head. You're happy for them. You're happy for them because they are happy. You. Are. Happy.

 

You silently slip into an alleyway and squat down, clutching your head in your hands, breathing in deeply.

 

You. Are. Happy. You tell yourself over and over again.

 

But as the tears start flowing down your cheeks you know this is a lie. What is wrong with you? Why the fuck are you crying? You're suppose to be happy?

 

But the question is do you love me?

 

Stop crying. Get up and stop crying. But you can't and the tears continue to flow. You aren't happy. You're dying inside. Stop. Fucking. Crying. You can't. You can't cause it hurts too much. You can't because you've finally realized something about yourself that changes your whole perspective on what happened. If only you realized this sooner than everything would've been different. But now it's too late.

 

And as you finally realize this, your sadness quickly turns into anger. You're angry at him, for stealing her away from you. You're angry at her for loving someone else. But more importantly, you're angry with yourself for being so stupid, so blind for the past few years to never realize what was in front of you the whole time. You get up and punch the wall behind you, ignoring the shooting pains coursing through your hand and arm. You probably broke something but that doesn't matter, nothing matters to you anymore.

 

She's taken.

 

By your best friend.

 

Your best friend…

 

But the question is…

 

…took her.

 

You're suppose to be happy.

 

Why aren't you happy?

 

…do you love me?

 

And as the tears continue to roll down your cheeks one thing keeps replaying in your head. One thing.

 

Do you love her?

 

`Yes…'

 

If only you realized this sooner…everything would've been different.

 

And this makes you cry even more.

 

***

Something was going on. The light touches here and there weren't so discrete anymore. The whispers and the blushing -yes they still blushed but about what you have no idea and really didn't want to know - were actually considered normal now and you were getting use to it. The way that they've been inseparable for years -5 years and 3 months to be exact -and were rarely seen without the other just a few inches away. You try to ignore it but you can't. It isn't your imagination. It's real.

 

You're trying to get use to it but it's hard. But you smile for them and act happy for them.

 

As long as they're happy you are happy. As long as she was happy, you'd be happy.

 

Because they are your friends, you're best friends.

 

But they were more than friends.

 

And it was hard to accept that.

 

Because friends aren't suppose to be more than friends. They just aren't.

 

 

A/N: So here's my new fic, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Sorry if Inuyasha seems OOC in this chapter but it was the only way that it would go with the plot. Please R/R and if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask them.

 

-Nikki (Chibi-Inu13)