InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bittersweet ❯ Of mice and men ( Chapter 4 )

Bittersweet

Chapter Four: "Of Mice And Men"

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But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,

In proving foresight may be vain;

The best-laid schemes o'mice an' men,

Gang aft a-gley,

An' lae'e us naught but grief and pain,

For promised joy.

- Burns, 'To a Mouse' -

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haori = I think this is Inuyasha's clothes

I switch one time to past talks, but I hope it won't be confusing.

AN: Goddess, this was difficult to write (heart wrenching) and took forever due to my sucking timetable. I hope I have caught their feelings the way I wanted without going OOC but I'm not sure if I should feel satisfied with this chapter. The next one will contain the wedding and will be done hopefully next week. Thx again to my betas xnycz azn angelx and Dee!

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A long silence laid over them. They longed to talk to each other but neither wanted to speak first. Kagome sat there, with lowered head, across Inuyasha, staring at the ground beneath her feet. Her heart wanted to look at him, to watch his ears twitch like they always did when he was nervous. She loved those little, furry triangles atop his head. She had the feeling they were twitching now. But he had no reason to be nervous around her, did he? Perhaps he would finally tell her to go back to her time. She sighed. He should know he didn't have to tell her this. She knew where she belonged.

His thoughts weren't far away from hers. 'Does she want to go back to her time? Will she leave us here and live her life like it was before we met?' He didn't know how he should feel. He was sure he would miss her. He always grew restless when she wasn't near him, when he wasn't able to protect her. Her sweet scent could calm him more effectively than anything. 'Does she evade me because she doesn't want me to hinder when she goes through the well?'

Kagome made the first step. "Why are you here?" A sad little smile graced her lips. Although she now looked at him, her eyes drifted away again.

Inuyasha was stunned. 'She sounds so sad.. Why does she sound sad?' His mind slowed down with sorrow, couldn't retard his mouth. Hence he reacted like he always did when caught off guard. "What do you mean, bitch, you are here too!"

"Yeah, I should go then.." She was about to stand up. There was no need at all to actually listen when he would only tell her to go back. She wasn't sure she could hold the tears back, but she refused to cry in front of him. 'I am not this weak. I don't want to make him uncomfortable, because he hates it when girls cry.' Suddenly a clawed hand held her gently down.

"Kagome, why are you acting... like you don't care?" He muttered lowly.

"Like I don't care?" It left her speechless. 'He thinks I don't care?' She looked perplexed at him. This just didn't sound right. 'The problem never was me not caring enough, it always was that I cared more than I was supposed to.' And then she started to chuckle softly, strangely touched by Inuyashas accusation.

Inuyasha observed her face. Her feelings were written all over it again, changing fast. When she finally chuckled he was relieved beyond all measure. She hadn't answered his question, but perhaps it wasn't necessary anymore when she would open up again.

"Kagome..?" He asked her when they sat in silence again after some while. It had been a comfortable silence this time.

At once Kagome lifted her head and stared straight into his golden eyes. He was taken aback by this frankness she showed. His ears started to twitch in expectation.

"How is Kikyou? Is she alright now?"

If anyone else would have ask this Inuyasha would have accused them of false sympathy to satisfy their curiosity. But hearing Kagome speak those words startled him. He looked in her eyes and all he could see there was genuine worry. 'Why does she care so much after all Kikyou had done to her? She nearly killed her a bunch of times but still Kagome worries about her well-being. Has it something to do with Kikyou's sudden change?'

"What do you know about her?" He asked curious but to her it sounded threatening. She blenched.

"Nothing, it's just.. The jewel.. I could feel it; it wanted to make her human again. Has it worked?" Not exactly the truth but not a whole lie either. Calm down Kagome, think how you can get out of this.

Inuyasha tilted his head slightly, watching her thoughtful.

"Yeah, I think it worked. Her heart is beating again and she felt warm." Kagome's eyes became wide at his words. 'He knows she felt warm again? Well it hasn't taken them long to get close again...' she thought afflicted.

Inuyasha being himself just overlooked the change in her attitude.

"So it was the jewel, eh? Well finally something good it has done!" he announced.

"Yeah.." She took a deep breath to tell him what she should have told him in the beginning.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha!"

"What for?" he asked surprised.

"The Shikon No Tama. It kinda disappeared... You can't become a full youkai anymore..." she closed the sentence, looking down again. She felt guilty for taking this away from him. After all she has decided to use the jewel to make Kikyou human. And although she had feared his youkai form it hadn't been her right to just ignore his wish.

It was his time to surprise her. "I don't wish to be youkai, or human for that matter, any longer. There are now people who accept me the way I am. I don't need to change to not be alone any longer." 'I have you,' he added in his mind.

Eventually a tear slipped her cautious guard and made its way down her cheek. She wasn't foolish enough to think he spoke of her, but the sentimental statement was spoken with an inner contentment that she never thought Inuyasha could ever possess.

Inuyasha watched the tear leave a wet trail behind. He hated it when girls cried, but he hadn't thought he had said anything wrong. Carefully he caught the tear with his claw before it could fall down. A little electrical jolt went through him when he touched Kagome. She had felt it too.

"Don't cry. There's nothing to cry about." They stared into each other eyes, slowly closing the gap between them. Their lips mere millimeters away. Then Inuyasha deep-breathed and pulled her into his arms. He caressed her awkwardly, soothing her little sobs. She clung to his haori, dazed with his nearness. 'He smells so good. Of wood and grass. I always feel so protected in his arms.'

Inuyasha buried his nose deep in her hair. 'She always smells so sweet. It calms me like nothing else could do..'

'I wish we could stay this way forever..' she thought.

This brought her back to reality. She looked up, meeting his worried gaze. Suddenly it all was too much. She used her hands which still rested on his chest, and pushed herself away.

Astonished Inuyasha flattened his ears. Anger aroused within him. "What the hell was that for, bitch?! I just wanted to make you stop howling! No need to get pissed!" he yelled at her. More than anger, he felt hurt. She had pushed him away. And it had felt so good to hold her in his arms.

Unimpressed she ignored his growling. "Why aren't you with Kikyou?"

Inuyasha's ears twitched again. He turned away from her gaze, the anger forgotten, and growled softly. He thought back to the time after the battle. How was it that only a few days had passed? So much had happened...

***

After the battle, in the near woods

"Inuyasha?" Kikyou opened her eyes slowly, only to shut them again fast. She laid in Inuyasha's lap, who held her carefully. She concentrated and felt the energy around them, energy of the jewel of four souls. It had almost completely vanished. Then she realized her heart beating. She looked up into Inuyasha's face. Her eyes wide open.

"What happened?"

He hadn't met her eyes with his gaze until now. "Your heart is beating again. Do you still want to go to hell with me?"

'Blunt as always' she thought. But good question. Did she still want to go to hell and get her revenge on the dog demon? Or should she wait until she knew what has happened? She raised her head and smelled the woods surrounding them, heard a small river nearby. The wind whispered in the sheets of the tree they sat in.

"Where are we? Where is Naraku?"

It hadn't escaped Inuyasha that she hadn't answered his question. He let it rest, for now.

"Not far away the battlefield. There is a village this way." He pointed to north. "And Naraku should be dead; although, I haven't seen him die. I can't feel his presence anymore."

"Dead? How?" she asked curious.

"Never one for a lot of words were you, eh?"

"At least we have that in common, don't you think?" She rested her head on his thigh and enjoyed his warmth. He looked down at her and then back, staring at something beyond the horizon she couldn't see.

"Keh.." He made the typical sound whenever he didn't know what else to say. Kikyou thought it was very calming.

'Where has my hatred and fury gone? Why do I enjoy his attendance?' She wondered. Somehow this didn't felt right. He noticed it too.

"You're so strange. Like you were when you were alive." He looked down. "I am glad you're back again." He whispered and buried his nose in her dark strands. 'Why does she reminds me more of Kagome than herself even before Naraku killed us?'

"Inuyasha? Can you bring me home?"

He tilted his head ready to ask more questions about her changed nature, but when he realized her unsure facial expression he just picked her up. His arms under her knees and shoulders he lifted her and jumped to the ground.

"Where to?" Inuyasha asked Kikyou genuinely.

"There is a village where I was a miko. Suikotsu lived there too." The forgotten feeling of loss and sadness overcame her. The doctor had been a kindred spirit, so much like her.

He watched her face releasing feelings he believed long lost in her. Inuyasha felt so much joy and relief. They were both alive and they could be together now. But another feeling crept in his heart too. 'Kagome...'

"I know where it is. We will be there soon. Sleep, I will protect you." And then he ran off with unhuman speed, Kikyou in his arms.

***

Present again, in the woods near Kaede's village

"She doesn't need me anymore." He said.

His answer was Kagome's puzzled gaze. She didn't know what to make out of this. Could it really be, that Kikyou didn't want him anymore? Had she broken his heart, again, although they could be happy now?

"I don't understand. I thought you would be together now with her alive and all."

"Keh, what's it matter to you, bitch?" He has said it without thinking, as always his mouth was to fast for his brain. He wanted to say, that it was Kagome he was concerned about, not Kikyou. But he couldn't find the words. What if she rejected his obligations towards her?

Kagome, of course, didn't see his inner turmoil. All she could hear was his anger.

"You're right. I shouldn't interfere with your life." She stood up and bowed. "I am sorry, Inuyasha."

He looked up surprised. Usually he would be 'sit' at least one time for what he had said. But Kagome actually apologizing was scary. When she was ready to walk away he grabbed her again.

"Since when do you run away so much?" He said slightly annoyed. This got her defensive.

"I don't run away. There is a lot to do until tomorrow because of the wedding. And there is nothing left to say." She tried to free herself from his grip, but he held her firmly and gently, halfway hoping she would 'sit' him just so they could go back like it was before.

"Will you stay here afterwards?" 'Oh please, don't let her leave. Wait. Where did this thought come from?' he thought surprised. Then he growled nearly inaudibly. He hated being surprised.

Kagome watched him. When she thought she saw something like sadness she was about to tell him she would stay some days more. But then his expression changed and she heard a very faint growl. It convinced her that he wanted her gone. 'Perhaps to fulfill his longing for Kikyou finally, without being responsible for my protection?'

"Don't worry, I will go home after the celebrations." Again a tear threatened to slip, but she held it back. She couldn't afford to show anymore weakness to him. She couldn't let her need for his strengh ruin his life.

"Oh..ok.." His ears flattened when he heard this. 'She will leeave me so soon.' Was all he could think of. But perhaps she just missed her family? "When will you come back?" Inuyasha still looked down so she couldn't see his hope-filled eyes, couldn't see how her answer shattered the hope there in thousand pieces.

"I don`t know." It sounded indifferent enough to convince him, that she wouldn't come back soon, if ever. He felt alone so suddenly.

"Well, then don't come back! Nobody needs you here. There aren't shards left and the search is over!" Hurt provoked anger and his snappish temperament awakened. He'd forgotten their usual banter wouldn't work in her present state.

She just shrugged her shoulders and answered: "In any case I don't think the well will continue to work now that the jewel disappeared. Please don't tell the others. I want to say my goodbye by myself without disturbing Sango and Miroku's wedding."

The words left Inuyasha shocked. 'I really won't see her again.' He let go of her arm and she pushed away from him. Kagome turned and ran as fast as she could towards the village. When she passed Sango and Miroku's hut, both looked up from their work in the garden. Noticing her desolate sight, they shook their heads.

"So it hasn't worked at all. Why have they both to be this stubborn? It will just make them miserable in the end." Miroku wondered.

"Can't they see how much they care for each other?"

"We just have to make them see it then." Miroku said smiling convincingly at his fiancée.

End Part Four

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AN: A happy author is a fast-writing author, so review please to make this author happy! It will make come the chapters faster ^_^