InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bloodlust: Purity ❯ Currency ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4

Currency

 

When morning had come, just the first faint hints of dawn, Kouga was startled awake by a gentle click; it was the closing of the door, but his brain was too sleep-fogged for him to be aware. Sometime during the night, someone must have noticed that he was sleeping, and put him in his parents bed. For a moment, before he had a chance to blink and yawn and look around properly, he remembered waking up in this room as a pup - before Kystra had been born, before he had begun to suspect that his dreams were not the same as everyone else's dreams. Before...

"Kouga, you are awake?"

He jumped, startled, and then looked across the room at the owner of the disruptive voice.

"Rin."

She smiled at him, only half as brightly as usual, and came to sit at the edge of the bed with soft movements.

“You are feeling better now, little brother? `Tou-san was worried when he came to find me, you know. Something must have happened, or - “

Kouga pulled himself up against the pillows and looked across at Rin with thin layers of annoyance painted on his face.

“I hate it when you sneak up on me.”

“You just can`t bear to lose to a human girl, little brother. What would Otou-san say?”

Kouga shut his eyes and turned his face away from her.

“Did he send you here to torment me, Rin?”

The sharp expression that usually had hold of her features softened just a little.

“No. Sorry, Kouga. Will you tell me what happened? Otou-san…he would not say anything, but I could tell - “

“Kystra - she - and I -”

His eyes suddenly began to burn behind their lids and he opened them abruptly, stared at the wall with such intensity that Rin felt it, radiating. She leaned to one side and stole a glance at his face; there was red pressure there, and he looked more like their father than she had ever seen.

“I can't tell you. I don't know what happened. Kystra…she wanted me to look in her mirror, her miko mirror, and I did. I knew I shouldn't, but I did anyway, and then…it was breaking me, Rin, breaking me and there is no way I can describe that sensation to you. Pain…so much pain.”

His voice broke off and faded, then returned.

“That mirror - it was pulling on me; it brought something out of me. And Kystra - she tried to stop it, did it, I think, but then the mirror changed. I heard her screaming, but I couldn't do anything, anything. The mirror - there was power, like fire, and sparks that burned my skin. See, here? And then…”

“Then mother came.”

“Yes. And Rin, while I was sleeping just now, my dreams…they weren't mine. I keep remembering things, things I shouldn't remember. Always, but since the ceremony…Okaa-san broke the shikon no tama. Did you know that, Rin?”

The change of subject was sudden and startling, but she nodded.

“Yes. When I was first found, and Otou-san was still Sesshomaru-sama, I heard many people talking about that….I don't know when I found out that she had broken it, though. Maybe not until after she came here to stay?”

Her voice was doubtful.

“But you don't need to tell me anything, Kouga. 'Tou-san told me everything, and he was worried about this, too. Are they really his memories, little brother?”

“His?”

“Kouga's.”

Silently, he nodded, and her mouth made a silent `o'. She understood; Rin always understood.

“Have you told father - that? He…did not mention it. He said only that you were troubled by dreams. Visions.”

“Yes. The first vision that wasn't a dream came just after I was Awakened.“

A thought occurred to him then and he finally turned to face her and met her eyes.

“Rin, you were there. At the rite. Tell me - the light, was it -”

“Purple. Violet, actually, as bright as Okaa-san's power.”

“But - “

“As bright, I said. Miko are female, and you are not, although…you know, they say there are no youkai Priests, but I think papa is one. And you. Like -”

“Like Miroku-san?”

His voice was heavy with sarcasm that Rin didn't understand.

“Kystra said that…before she stirred the mirror. But you want to make me like father, Rin. I am not the chosen of the kami; one of the God-kin, maybe, but that is because I am his son!”

“You are all that, in your youkai soul.”

Her voice was calm, dry. It leached some of the exasperation, the anger, from his thoughts.

“Will you tell me about your dream, Kouga?”

It was not something he really wanted to talk about, but if there was anyone he could tell, it was Rin. She would not judge him; Kouga closed his eyes, enhancing the memory when there was no need. Images stood out freshly painted inside his eyelids, outlined in light and fury. He saw the dream he had just had as vividly as if he were sleeping, and drew it over again with words for his sister.

“I am him, in these dreams. I am…Kouga. More than once he has seen her, the miko who travels with the hanyou he is hunting, but she has never known that I was there.”

Easily, too easily he slipped into first person. Rin's eyes wore worry in knots that tightened with every `I' her brother spoke.

“I followed her scent for days; it is much fresher than the half-blood's, layers of freshly crushed berries, autumn berries, and the sharpness of a snapped cinnamon-stick. In the dark I find their fire, and I hide my scent with my power and the turning of the wind. I have seen proof that he is strong, this hanyou, I have seen him fight his youkai brother and win, but his senses are still weaker with his weaker blood.

“They aren't far from my den, and I know the priestess can *feel* the piece of the Shikon no tama I carry, hot against my chest, responding to the pulse of the fragments she carries. There is another miko near them now, one I have never seen before, but she is darkness and her scent is the taste of dark things under the earth. Carefully, while they are making ready to follow the *presence* only the miko can feel, I go away from them. The trail I leave would be easy for even the humans to follow. It is simple this way; I must only wait for her to come to me.”

Kouga's claws tightened in the bed as he spoke, making little rents in the furs that lay over his thighs, and he forced away a demon-pressure that was fast become familiar, tasting memories on his tongue.

“In the morning, on a Cliffside, I found her with sun in her hair. I wanted her, even then - and it hurt to see him touching her, elbow, shoulder, arm, hip, and I wanted to kill! That was my reason now, not an old blood feud, not the memory of my father's failure. I think…I forgot she was human. I wanted her for my mate, to be mine along. Miko are strong, dangerous. It wouldn't matter if her blood was thin. She flushed when I smiled at her, but fangs always do that to females.

“I stole her from the hanyou; I brought her to my Hall, to my den, so that I could finish her introductions, to find out why she sought the pieces. She said, “I am Kagome, searching for the pieces of the Shikon no tama, to restore what was broken, to protect it from darkness.” She told me, when I asked her, that she had broken it; she told me, when she asked me for the shards that I had no intention of giving her.

“The miko, Kagome - I want her. I ask her to stay with me, to be my woman, my mate, and she is shocked, panicked; the hanyou comes, to rescue her, the one I was hunting…but he was stronger after all, stronger than I could have suspected…”

It was the end of the dream; he had woken then, but now he fell silent, taking deep breaths, feeling coolness spread in his blood, overwriting the fire. When he opened his eyes again, Rin was bending over him, her hand on his forehead, her eyes bright with fear and concern.

“I understand all your pain, little brother, but I do not know how to heal the wounds of someone else's memories. This is another life, now; that is all I can say and I know it is not enough. But - she is your mother now, Kouga. Your mother!”

He shuddered, wrenching all thoughts of Kagome from his mind, his own and…the others.

“I don`t even want to think of her anymore, Rin. It`s…dangerous.”

“Father said you`ve been having these dreams for a long time; why didn`t they bother you before? What changed, Kouga? Was it only the Awakening?”

“I…don`t know.”

Abruptly, she stood and turned for the door.

“Rin? Where are you going?”

“To find father. Something - something is happening again. I remember…this feeling.”

“What? Rin -”

But she was gone, and he heard her footsteps speed down the hallway and become quiet on the stairs. Kouga shook his head, trying to clear it, and lay back against his parents' pillows. Silently, he prayed for a dreamless sleep.

~-~-~-~-~

 

When she was sure that Kystra was resting as comfortably as she could be, Kagome left her daughter's side and went in search of her mate. She found Sesshomaru sitting with his eyes closed in the garden that had hosted the rite early in the evening. So little time had passed, mere hours; how could so many terrible things have happened? She heard low voices, and stepped forward quietly; long years had honed her practice and taught Sesshomaru the impossibility of keeping secrets from her. Now, she heard Sesshomaru's voice, and Rin's.

The tree that Sesshomaru had chosen to sit beneath was the only one in the garden that still bore leaves; it was a demon-flower tree, and the clusters of tiny blossoms were lit with amber tones under the bluish light of the half moon. Looking up at them, waiting for the conversation to run its course, she found herself longing for the wine-soft color the dawn light would show in those flower. To her demon soul, night felt safer, but the remnants of her human heart clung to the sun.

“Something has happened to Kouga, Otou-san.”

The way Rin said Kouga's name brought Kagome's senses to attention. There was concern as well as a hint of anger in Rin`s voice, anger that Kagome could not immediately place.

“Something?”

“He told me about his vision and his dreams, father. He told me who they belong to, and it is dangerous for him, Otou-san. He is confused, losing himself, his place in his flesh.”

“But that is not *something*, that is -”

“Otou-san, when he was a pup they were the dreams of a pup, but now -”

And Kagome heard the sharp intake of Sesshomaru's breath, and was only surprised that she herself did not make a sound. She felt…cold. Cold, like dead hands were pulling at her skin, tugging on her fingers, stroking her cheek. Sesshomaru spoke, cutting of Rin's words, and his voice was possessed by that same chill.

“I understand.”

Purposefully, shivering with that internal frostiness, Kagome strode forward so that they both could hear her; she could see the reflection of their conversation, its implication, in both their faces, and it was a terrible thing. They were the only two who truly knew…except for Sango, and Miroku. All the rest that could have remembered were dead. Kouga was dead.

*Except now he lives in my son. My son, who we gave his name, to honor him. Sesshomaru - Sesshomaru did it, all by himself. Ah -*

With that thought, she understand the faint and horrible guilt that was tightening the edges of his features.

“How is Kouga, Rin?”

Rin blinked rapidly, swallowed once and shook her head.

“Not much changed. He was…sleeping, when I went in. We talked for a little while; he told me some of what happened while he was with Kystra, but nothing that can help, I think. 'Kaa-san, what about Kystra? I did not go to see her, since -”

“Your father is right, Rin. She is sleeping; it is an unnatural sleep, but it is better than a seizure…I am going to ask Eldest for help, she has far more experience with healing youkai than I.”

“Yes. But, Okaa-san…”

Kagome rubbed her arms and focused on her daughter's face.

“What is it, Rin?”

“I…it's just, I don't trust her, Okaa-san.”

Sesshomaru's eyes flashed to his daughter's face, hearing his own sentiments spoken…but he would not have dared say such a thing to his mate. It was dangerous. Even after twenty years, she was still far too open with her words, her emotions, her…truth. She was not really made for Councils and intrigues; she had told him stories and it really seemed as though her world had been a simpler world. She proved his supposition to him as he watched, her face flaming bright with anger that faded quickly.

“Rin! Eldest has never once done anything to make me distrust her. She has helped us…more than once. Why would you say something like that?”

Rin shrugged; her eyes had caught the flash on her father's face, and that interested her more than Kagome's discomfort.

“I don't know her as well as you do, Okaa-san. She is very mysterious, and she…she's told me some very strange things.”

“Didn't she teach you, Rin? I thought you would be grateful.”

“'Kaa-san! I am grateful, but that doesn't mean…I just don't trust her motives. I don't understand *why* she helps us.”

Sesshomaru stepped forward and silenced Rin with a glance; she did not protest.

“Mate, please go back to Kystra and stay with her. If she wakes - “

“I do not think she will wake, Sess-chan.”

She saw the protest forming on his face, and spoke quickly to prevent the words she knew were coming.

“If she wakes, I will question her. And you - you tend to Kouga. Help him, Sesshomaru.”

And he heard, behind her words, the plea that she could not say in words. How much had she heard? He had hoped to spare her the pain of knowing.

*And I, I am to help him. How do I do that? How do I rid him of that Wolf and his want…Kouga. If it is…because of that, then it is my fault.*

 

~-~-~-~-~

 

The night, and then the day, passed slowly. Kagome closeted herself with Kystra and refused to see the Lords and their mates who had stayed to pay homage in honor of Kouga's Awakening. Her heart darkened whenever she thought of what had happened overnight; the screams, the violence, had been heard, power felt, and she had no desire to answer the questions she knew would come at her.

Sesshomaru slipped through empty corridors and corner doorways until he found Kinawai, and entrusted “the management of all these…guests” to him.

Kinawai, conversing with Akira and Histaru, was less than pleased. Even among the three of them, closest to Sesshomaru, there was had no explanation for the his sudden disappearance or the events of the previous evening. They could not have silenced the rumors flying around them without forbidding speech.

When the twilight came, the sky began to look as if was leaking grey star-dust over the world. Snow, in think, blanketing cascades, shut out the sunset. Before the night had settled, Kagome said goodbye to Sesshomaru, and Kouga - and Kystra, sleeping now with Rin by her side.

Kagome ran on light feet to the forest that edged the plain in front of the fortress. The miles disappeared under her; she was running to the midpoint, the place between the north-forest Slower, she wandered through the trees, feeling the health of the wood around her. Spirits were allies and walking in this wild place, full of breath and motion that she could not remember ever feeling in other woods. In this place, where the trees broached the edge of the hills and the grass, was the last, reaching finger of Inuyasha's forest. Here there was tone in the wind and texture in the voices of the trees; here, she could swear that that she could feel the Goshinboku, feel the well.

The arrows she made here from straight twigs and fallen feathers from this forest flew faster and with deeper power, opening wide throats to accept her miko. A score of arrows hummed latent in their quiver on her back and she held her bow as she ran, strung for caution`s sake. She had not fired an arrow for anything but practice in the last twenty years.

Who deigned to fight a legend?

Ahead of her, as the snow began to thicken and cloud her vision, in a clearing where a once-shimmering pond was jagged ice, Eldest was waiting. The whispers of the evening snowfall lifted coils and wisps of green hair from around her shoulders, and they waved in the snow-fog like snakes, casting a deeper shadow on her dark skin. She bowed briefly as Kagome approached, and held out a hand to prevent Kagome from speaking.

“I know why you are here, Kagome. And before you give me all your concerns, all your worries, there is something…I should tell you.“

Kagome nodded.

“Alright, Eldest, what is it?“

For a moment, pure uncertainty filled her as she gazed into Eldest's eyes. There was something - strange there, something she could not define or identify. What was it? Or maybe just Rin's words, making her feel…

“I can give you no more, Kagome. Anything more that you want to learn…I do not think I can teach you. You still have living left to do; I have no intention of sharing death-secrets with you. Not now, not when you are still so young.”

Kagome's eyes took on sharpness and stood out brightly in the windblown night.

“I wanted know why my daughter is sleeping in an unnatural sleep, and why my son has memories that belong to the dead, to the soul of a wolf whose life he *cannot* share. And *now* you choose to tell me that you have left the path of teaching? When I know so little…so little.”

She fell silent, angry, not completely sure of why. Eldest had agreed to teach her, had offered to do so, in fact - and for twenty years, she had done exactly that. Was it fair of her to complain if Eldest desired a break? Kagome knelt beside her, in the snow and shook her head.

“I'm sorry. I need your help, and here I am making trouble, when I should be begging for aid.”

“It is forgiven; do not worry about it. I will answer your questions, sister-daughter, as I always have…but this time I think the knowledge must have a price. Are you will to pay the price of this knowledge?”

“Do I have a choice? I am so afraid that my daughter will die…and Sesshomaru would tell me that I should not say that…that I am afraid. But it feels…I have this terrible feeling.”

A moment of quiet corroded her voice.

“I will not let Kystra die; I will not let my son lose his mind to the dead. I will….I will pay your price, Eldest. What do you want from me?”

Something elusive that might have been sorrow touched her from Eldest's smile.

“Not too much, Kagome, not too much. When I ask you, when I know it is time, I want you to take my life. Kill me the way you killed Kasuka. I want you…I want you to purify me.”

The world stopped around them; the wind lifted its arms away from where they stood. The frozen ripples of the pond stood out sharp against the faintness of the snow and for a moment, it seemed like the whole world was listening.

“Take…take your *life*? Purify your soul?”

Kagome was almost laughing.

“I still do not know how I…how I did that to Kasuka, but she was darkness and evil, an essence, like pure despair. What is there to purify in a true miko?”

“The soul of the beast, the hunger of the dragon, the youkai in me…I want them banished! I want freedom for my soul; I want to know there will be complete and silent rest. I do not wish to be reborn. I have lived enough - my soul has seen enough, suffered enough. Give me a share of oblivion, with my daughter.”

Kagome spoke steadily, softly.

“I understand. I will do as you ask, if you ask. But you should remember…that even if you helped me hurt her, I did it. I killed her. You do not have to punish yourself…you do not have to do this!“

The ice-color of Eldest's eyes flickered red with anger.

“You think it is that easy to hate your child, to not hate yourself in the process?”

Kagome's thoughts flashed suddenly to the expression on Sesshomaru's face, on Rin's, as they realized…and she wondered. Could she hate Kouga, her own child, her flesh and blood? Even if…

“No. It is not easy”

“Only you, you and perhaps…your mate - only the two of you could hurt me if you chose. But you have agreed to pay my price, Kagome. You have already agreed, and both of us are bound to give full value.”

A shuddering sigh broke through, a sentimental noise that redeemed nothing, and Eldest stared down at the lines in her clawed hands, tasting the future, callow on her tongue.

“It is Kystra who is fallen, is it not? Not the human girl.”

“Yes. Her mirror…I think it broke her somehow. From what I have managed to put together, I think she made Kouga look in her mirror, gave his blood to it, and something…happened.”

“Kouga…your son's blood? Why would she do such a thing? A male cannot be a miko.”

Kagome shook her head slowly.

“I don't know. I don't know. But you were not there at his Awakening, Eldest, you did not see. They were all…those lords, their mates, the servants - even Sesshomaru and Akira - they were all whispering about it. The light…this light that came from him was violet, only Inu-gold at the edges. They were saying that it was because - because of me - “

“We will discuss your son later, Kagome. Now - Kystra.”

Kagome took a deep breath, nodded.

“She has the wildest soul of all your children, sister-daughter. It matches her father's. I believe your daughter is suffering the penalties of her wildness now, the penalties for her curiosity and her penchant for the unusual. She has done something forbidden!”

“Forbidden - “

Kagome's voice came out hesitant.

“That pup - she is lucky she is youkai. She would never have been able to live as a human woman…and even though she is youkai, there are still some restrictions no miko can breach without consequences!”

“What - “

“A long time ago, the gods lay down sanctions against any man taking up the mantle, or the magics, of a miko. Perhaps two or three times in fifty generations, there might be a man with such a power, such possibilities in them, yet despite this rarity, the few there were managed to wreak great devastation. Men, having power, must use that power - to conquer, to keep, to dominate, to protect. The gods entrusted only women, who used their power for this last cause only, to keep the sacred duty and the purifying power. For a male to use a miko mirror - “

“But she - she didn't know! *I* didn't know - you never told me -”

“It is the most basic teaching of any miko, one of the deepest taboos in the use of blood power. How could you not know it? The teachers of your youth - what were they thinking?”

For a single moment, utterly surprised, Kagome stared at Eldest with a shocked expression. Didn't she know? Hadn't anyone ever told her…or more importantly, did she even need to be told?

“Don't you know…don't you know -”

“What to do? I am not sure. I will have to see her myself and that…would not be wise right now. There are too many in your home for me go there myself.”

Kagome wiped her face clean and nodded slowly, but inside her thoughts were reeling.

*She doesn't know. She doesn't know that I'm from - the future. I…can't believe it. What is going on? What is she doing?*

“Sister-daughter, there is far more to this than I thought previously. If your son is suffering.”

“Yes.”

“Then we must have time to work with this. Go back to your daughter, Kagome, and use what I have taught you to find what is in her dreams. Your son - is he…otherwise well?”

“Yes. He is not physically hurt, if that's what you mean.”

“Then make what arrangements you need and come to my home as soon as you are able. You may not remember the way, but your mate knows where I live. Bring your son with you, and be prepared. You will look into the water; you will See in the Glynynn.”

The memory of old visions contorted Kagome's face. Her lips set into a thin, unsmiling line, and she nodded, but she felt more than a little discontent.

“I will come. But what about *full value*?”

“I cannot give more to you than the future, Kagome. Come quickly; I do not think…there is much time. Something…”

She shook her head, and turned away into the snow. Alone, Kagome stood and watched her go, and then watched the way she had gone. She heard her daughter's words in her thoughts now, and they made more sense. Not to trust her…what was going on? Her son and her daughter hurting, her teacher…asking for death? What was she supposed to do now?

*It is not supposed to be this hard. It was supposed to be easy, peaceful now. I restored the shikon no tama; I killed Kasuka - it was all over. It was all resolved.*

She had almost forgotten that behind her, not many snow-covered miles away, there was a well, bright with power, that stood open, waiting - she had almost forgotten that the shikon no tama needed, not only restoration, but purification. She had almost forgotten that after the long, beautiful day, there is bloody sunset…and the fall of night.