InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bottled Genius ❯ Crime and Punishment ( Chapter 25 )

Author's Notes: Well I can tell you all that half of you guessed correctly who the first was. A quarter guessed but were only doing it as a joke, and the rest didn't have a clue… (you'll find out who it was in second). Those of you who guessed right, prepare to look smug.

Bottled Genius

Chapter 25

Crime and Punishment

Somehow the grand entrance didn't really go like Kagome had expected it to.

For a start the First was supposed to be old and wise, after all he was as old as time… supposedly. Kagome had had a mental picture of him in her head since she'd first heard of him. A little old Arabian man with a turban, bangles and the lower half of his body nothing but mist like a true Genie… uh, Wishbringer, accompanied by a snowy beard that probably trailed the floor.

The person who all but fell out of the cab in their driveway was a youth. Younger than a youth. In fact, Kagome reckoned he was a minor.

"Get out!" The cab driver yelled from his open window. He had a thick foreign accent. Probably Swedish… "And you can take your money and stick it up your häck - along with your opinions, smart boy!"

"They're not opinions! They're observations!" The kid fisted his hands against his hips. "And for your information, looser, your cab does smell of fermented fish!"

"Barn skall ses men inte höras…" the driver muttered as he began to rev his engine.

"I know what that means, you freak!" The youth yelled.

"Go back to school!" the driver yelled as he slammed his foot down on the gas and sped off.

The kid was practically hopping mad now. "I know where you live!"

The roar of the cab's engine faded into the distance and the dust left in its wake began to settle back down on the ground again. Slowly the youth took a deep breath and patted down his clothes to brush off the puffs of dust that had landed on him as well… then he turned and grinned at them.

Kagome was the first to move. She grinned back and sent him a little wave. "Gosh… he's quite sweet looking!" she whispered to the two Wishbringers beside her.

Miroku was so stiff that he could have been traded for a stone statue and no one would be able to tell the difference… Inuyasha just stared with his jaw hanging wide open.

Slowly Kagome got to her feet. "Uh… hi. Are you the first?"

"First, last, somewhere in the middle? Who cares?!" The kid hefted a bag on his shoulder and barged past the trio into the house through the open door. Kagome spun, trying to keep track of him. She was amazed at how short he actually was… "And seeing as how dog-boy ate all the candy, I'll just help myself to a sandwich. Is that all right?"

Kagome opened her mouth to respond.

"Thanks." He interrupted before she'd even spoken and disappeared down the hall into the kitchen. Kagome quickly trotted after him followed by a very slow, disbelieving Inuyasha. Miroku remained gob-smacked on the front porch.

When Kagome arrived in the kitchen, the kid was already rummaging around the fridge. "Now where's the ham… ah hah!"

It was in Kagome's knowledge that Wishbringers never made their own food, they always nicked someone else's. Only because whenever Inuyasha was desperately starving, he'd only have to click his fingers to summon a packet of crisps from the kitchen, or even a supermarket ten miles away. Seeing the boy making his own food was odd…

Though hadn't Miroku already told her that the First had different powers than his offspring? Well… no matter who or what he was, he looked like a child and spoke like a child… and she found herself unconsciously slipping into older sister role. "Did you have a good journey?"

"Awful actually." The kid responded as he pressed the sandwich down flat with his hands then licked his fingers. "Airport was choca-block with all sorts… the plane was delayed two hours before it finally got cancelled and we had to go on another instead. Then no sooner do I step off the plane at Narita then some wise ass points a knife at my neck and makes off with my plane ticket."

"That's awful!" Kagome sympathised. Inuyasha hovered behind her, not really sure what to do with himself now. Miroku had joined them as well, but wasn't being much use.

"I know, I know. But what an idiot. They were used plane tickets. Can't use them once they've been used. Everyone knows that." The kid sat down at the table and chomped into the sandwich.

Finally Inuyasha spoke. "You got mugged?! But you're the First!"

"And?" The kid rolled his eyes as he chewed. "It's not like he got away with anything good. Besides, I know exactly where he lives and what his name is, so I could call the police this very minute and have him arrested."

"But you're the First!" Inuyasha repeated. "Kick his ass yourself!"

"Cretin." The kid snorted derisively and ignored as Kagome struggled to restrain the Hanyou from punching him.

Miroku took the stand. "You know where the man lives? Did he tell you?"

"No, it's just one of those things that you know… I know everything there is to know… you know?"

They stared blankly at him.

"You don't know, do you?" He stared at them a moment before setting what remained of his sandwich down on its pinched the bridge of his nose like he was getting a headache. "This is ridiculous… people are so misinformed these days."

"Well that's Miroku's fault. He's been informing us." Inuyasha said quickly. Miroku sighed and gave him a flat look.

"What happened to the good old days when magic was booming and people would hunt for a life time searching for a Wishbringer to call their own?" the kid gave the ceiling a bewildered look. "You people don't know you're born."

"Well you look like you were born yesterday." Inuyasha said. Kagome stamped on his foot and he quickly added, "With all due respect, Mr First guy… kid… ow, that really hurt! On bare feet as well - and you're wearing heels you little madam-"

"Do you always let him treat you like that?" The First asked Kagome directly. Inuyasha snapped his mouth shut as Kagome blinked in surprise.

"Like what?"

"Like he owns you and not the other way around?" The kid shook his head. "Don't feel you have to take any crap from that guy, he lives to serve you, that's all."

Inuyasha's fists clenched at his sides and Kagome glanced at him warily, wondering if he would jump the kid or not. She looked back at the First. "He's still a person though. My equal no matter what he is."

The kid just laughed. "Yeah ok, whatever you say. Where's the Tv? Living room, right?" He hopped off his chair and slipped between them and out the door again. Kagome scurried after him quickly, whilst Inuyasha trailed grumpily behind Miroku.

"Well, isn't your purpose of existing to serve others as well?" Miroku asked as they entered the living room. The First switched on the Tv and flicked straight to the children's channel.

"Don't put me on your level." He said arrogantly. "I'm far more superior to the lies of Wishbringers. I am the First don't you know."

"We knew." They all chorused.

"I'm having doubts though." Inuyasha added.

"Yeah," the kid leaned towards them. "But while you two are suckered to serving up a certain number of wishes that matches your generation to the first lucky or unlucky bozo who picks you up, I am trapped in no servitude to humans."

"You don't say." Miroku said. He sounded weary.

Kagome sat down on the sofa beside the kid. "Do you have a name?" she asked with a smile.

He looked at her warily for a moment. "Of course I have a name. I picked it myself."

"And what do you call yourself?" she pressed on.

The boy fidgeted uncomfortably. Kagome could see that a simple question alone made him uneasy. "Shippo." He answered finally. "But don't go blabbin' that around."

"We won't." Kagome's smiled widened. "So if you're a First generation, does that mean you grant one wish?"

"And if you're the only one in your generation, you must have a lot of power for granting it." Miroku commented. "You could probably grant anything anyone wanted."

Shippo's mouth twisted into a thoughtful pose. "Actually, I'm not the First."

"I knew it!" Inuyasha jabbed a finger at him. "No way could the almighty first be a little pip-squeak with ginger hair!"

"Hey!" Shippo leapt up to stand on the arm rest so he could be closer to Inuyasha's eye level. "Watch who you call a pip-squeak, pal!"

"Pipe down brat!" Inuyasha smirked and flicked the boy's nose. A mistake, since it then put his hand dangerously close to Shippo's mouth and Shippo didn't hesitate to bite. "OW!"

"No biting!" Kagome quickly pulled the boy off of the Hanyou and set him back down on the sofa. "But if you aren't the First then who is?"

"Oh I'm not saying I'm not the one they call the First." Shippo said hotly. "I just meant that I'm not the First Wishbringer at least. I only created the First generation of Wishbringers. Technically they are all Firsts… but like I said, over time things get vague and forgotten and you young people get all the facts messed up." He glared at Inuyasha. "So you better watch your mouth around me!"

"Oh I'm so scared." Inuyasha glared back flatly.

"Shippo…" Kagome. "If you're not a Wishbringer then what are you?"

"Hungry." He rubbed his stomach with a frown.

"No… I meant, what kind of being are you. If you're not human and you're not Wishbringer… then what are you?"

"Oh, well, I'm not too sure myself actually." He admitted.

"He's a dwarf." Inuyasha put in helpfully.

"I'd say more like a pixie, perhaps." Miroku rubbed his chin.

"No. A tanuki, maybe?" Inuyasha looked at the ninth generation. Miroku nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe."

"Oh shut up!" Shippo snapped angrily at them both. Kagome hurriedly made calming gestures at them both behind the boy's back. "I'm a higher being - that's all you need to know!"

"Got it, got it!" Kagome said quickly. "So… you don't grant wishes at all."

"No." Shippo sniffed with a superior air. "I answer questions."

Miroku snapped his fingers. "You're an oracle!" Shippo pulled a face at him. "You cannot define my being in a single work, Wish-binger!"

"Is that some kind of insult?" Inuyasha scowled incredulously. "'Cause it sucks."

"As I was saying!" Shippo went on loudly like he hadn't heard. "I can answer any question known to mankind. From why your fingers prune in the bath to the meaning of life."

"The meaning of life? What's that then?" Inuyasha asked with interest.

Shippo glared at him. "I'd tell you but it would only succeed in giving you a headache, pea brain."

It was Miroku's turn to restrain Inuyasha this time.

"I will answer one official question to every one person who come across me." Shippo went back to watching Tv. "But that's not what I came for. I came to punish him, not to enter the Spanish inquisition." He jerked a thumb at Inuyasha. "I keep check on my Wishbringers to see who's been naughty and who's been nice. Your name seems to keep popping up in all these localised disasters."

"And you're here to punish me?" Inuyasha said evenly.

"After this show finishes." Shippo said dismissively. "And after I have some dinner, I'm really hungry after that flight."

"Of course you are," Inuyasha grumbled and stomped off. Miroku excused himself from the room to follow him out of the front door again. He caught up with Inuyasha just as he reached the oil tank.

"I think things may be in our favour." He told him. "The First may be older than all of us put together, but he is still a child."

"An arrogant little shit-head who's out to make my life a misery!" Inuyasha snapped back.

"Well only because you couldn't keep your flapping lips shut!" Miroku shot back. "If you hold your tongue maybe he'd go easier on you. You were provoking him in there."

"He was provoking me!" Inuyasha protested.

"Best leave this to the diplomats like me and Kagome." He responded before walking off again. Inuyasha flicked him a rude gesture with his hand and flopped down huffily onto his back to soak then sun.

Who knew? Maybe this was the last time he was get to feel its warmth on his face?

~*~

"Shippo?" Kagome glanced over her shoulder as she cooked dinner. "What are you planning to do with Inuyasha?"

"Why, kill of him of course."

Kagome's hand slipped on the frying pan.

"Only kidding." He chirped and watched her scrambled to get her cooking back on course. "Killing a Wishbringer is a bad idea. It wipes them from existence and if Inuyasha doesn't exist then all the things he's done in the past wouldn't have happened and the world would change."

"Really?" Kagome added a dash more oil to the vegetables frying in the pan. "In what way?"

"Well… in some ways I suppose it would be wonderful." Shippo sighed. "A lot of the mess and havoc he's wreaked would be mended - because it wouldn't have occurred. But also he did a few things that didn't just affect individual people's lives, but the entire country - even the world. The three eleventh generations he created wouldn't exist, so that'll be three more Wishbringers and their deeds down the plug-hole of existence."

"What… you mean that whole thing with Oda Nobunaga?" she guessed.

"That changed the country. Erasing that would make a mess of today. But that wasn't one of the big things he did." Shippo picked at the table cloth as he watched her activities with a degree of hunger. "In the seventeenth century he was master to this rich guy who lived in Kyoto. While serving the rich guy he saved the life of a little girl on the street who was about to be trampled by a horse. If he hadn't intervened she would have died. But because he intervened she grew up and got married to a doctor, and together they fathered a boy who then later moved Prussia. The boy made friends with some people, became successful and bought a ferry ticket for one of his friends to go to England for a business trip. His friend arrived there in 1665, and travelled by carriage to go to his medical convention and because the guy was a little clumsy he dropped his bags off the side. When he jumped off to get them he jumped right into the path of another horse and cart who veered off to avoid him. The cart fell over and-"

"Does this have a point or is this just old man rambling stuff?" Kagome asked.

"I was getting to the good part!" Shippo snapped. "Anyway, like I said the cart hit the ground and shook it - it was a big cart, see. And a few metres away in this orchard the ground shook hard enough for an apple to fall from one of the trees and hit this bloke on the head. And then that bloke got a brainy idea and created this theory of gravity-"

"So you're saying that if Inuyasha died then Sir Isaac Newton wouldn't have invented gravity?!" Kagome burst out.

"One; the guy didn't invent anything, he just found a theory to explain something that was already there. And two; that theory was a load of bull, I should know, because I know everything."

Kagome stared at him a moment before shaking herself mentally and physically and moving back to the frying pan before the food burnt. "Well… at least killing him is out of the question. You have no idea how worried we were that you were coming to execute him."

"I have every idea - and I don't like butter on my vegetables!" he quickly broke in as he saw her move towards the tub. "I like margarine."

"We don't have any margarine." She said apologetically.

"I know. I just don't want any butter in that case." He said.

Kagome shrugged and put the butter knife down before picking up the bowl of vegetables and setting them down before the ravenous boy. "So if you aren't going to kill him, what are you going to do with him?"

"Oh, I'm going to set him free and let him live the rest of his natural life in blissful freedom." Shippo said lightly.

"Really?" Kagome's hopes soared.

He snorted. "No. Who do you think I am? I need to punish him, not reward him."

She sunk miserably into another seat at the kitchen table. "That's not very nice, you know. Getting my hopes up like that…"

"If you're so keen on getting him free then why don't you ask me how?" he said around a mouthful of greens. "I can answer any question you have, but only once. I won't be able to fib or tell a porky, you can trust that much."

"Ask you… how to set him free?" Kagome echoed quietly, staring at him.

"Yep. I know just about anything there is to know about everything you didn't need to know." Shippo told her. "So, ask away lass."

Kagome shifted slightly in her seat, leaning closer. "You mean it?"

"Mm hm." He nodded as he chewed.

"Can I ask now?"

He rolled his eyes. "Mm hm."

"Then… please tell me how to set Inuyasha free?" she requested, pleadingly silently it was within her power to be able to do what he told her.

For a moment Shippo stopped chewing, a flicker of annoyance passed over his young face but it was gone within a moment. "There is no way."

"What?!" Kagome slapped her hands against the table. "You made it sound like there was!"

"The one Wishbringer rule which can't be broken or bent with a loophole is the rule which guarantees a Wishbringers life. Inuyasha is bound to be a Wishbringer for the rest of his life - which is for eternity! Nothing you can do or wish for will set him free. Nothing anyone else can do will let him break the bonds to his new life. You can't get another Wishbringer to set him free. I knew that when you heard I was coming you were hoping that you could use my one 'wish' to set him free."

Kagome stared glumly at the table.

"Not happening." He said bluntly. "The only way to free a Wishbringer is to kill it. And killing someone is not freeing them, that's just killing them. And I doubt you'd be able to live with yourself if you killed him."

Kagome sighed loudly. "You want seconds."

"Oh yes please. Thank you." He beamed as she took his empty bowl back to refill it.

So there really was no way to free him… she'd hoped that there might be a chance… but no. She fought back her tears as she spooned up more food for the First.

"If you love him…" Shippo said in such a casual way that she forgot to flinch at his assumption. "Then if I were you I would make that last wish quickly. The sooner he's out of your life the sooner you forget him and the sooner you are over the heartache."

Her hands slowed… and she paused a moment before turning back to him, a smile on her face, and set down the bowl before him again. "If I didn't know any better I'd say that you were feeling sorry for me and Inuyasha."

He snorted again in a childish way that completely belied his true age. "Sorry for you and Inuyasha? Sorry for you perhaps. After all, I don't like seeing good cooks get hurt."

She smiled and patted him on the head. "You're a sweetheart, Shippo."

He grinned and went on eating.

~*~

"I can't take this anymore. I think I may actually go insane." Inuyasha groaned loudly as he covered his face with his hands. "How can the First be a kid anyway?! I mean… is he some kind of shape shifter and he's just appeared to us as a brat to make us go easy on him?"

"I don't think so." Miroku pondered. "If he truly is some kind of oracle then I doubt that he has the ability to shift his shape."

Sango looked up from where she sat on an old tyre cleaning her oily hands on a rag. "You said yourself Miroku that the First's life span stretches for the length of time itself… so it stands to reason that he's still in his childhood stage. Time isn't that old." She tilted her head. "Right?"

"And you listen to the bull that comes out of his mouth?" Inuyasha asked her tightly from his snoopy position on the oil tank.

Sango fixed him with a dry look. "Hey, Inuyasha? How far have you got with Kagome?"

He flinched, but was ready with his comeback. "Hey, Sango? How far have you got with the car?"

Touchy subjects for both of them. Sango huffed and picked herself up to go back to the garage and back to work. Miroku watched her walking away for a moment before his hand unconsciously raised to strike his own cheek, he quickly realised and caught it with the other hand before it could do any damage. When he noticed Inuyasha staring at him he laughed and waved. "I'm getting better at this. In no time my thoughts should be as pure as the Buddha's himself."

"Right, you slapping yourself is spiritual cleansing and the First coming here is just for a nice cup of tea and a chat." Inuyasha rolled his head back to gaze towards the heavens.

Miroku sighed as he approached the Hanyou warily. "What's the matter? With the way you're talking it sounds like you want to be punished."

"Of course I don't want to be punished!" Inuyasha snapped back at him.

"I know. You're just can't stand the fact that your fate lies in the balance… in the small palms of a child who obviously has taken a total dislike of you, right from the start." Miroku shrugged one shoulder. "I understand."

"Don't understand me. I hate people understanding me." Inuyasha grumbled as he pushed himself upright and prepared to jump down. "I just don't like being kept waiting, that's all!"

Miroku was looking towards the house. "Looks like the wait is over."

Inuyasha followed his gaze and spotted Kagome standing just at the corner of the house. She looked unhappy and tired. Making a half-hearted beckoning gesture she called to them. "He says he wants to talk to you."

Inuyasha glanced momentarily at Miroku who looked as calm and un-moveable as usual, even in the most tense of situations. With a roll of his eyes at his sire's typical behaviour he dropped down to the ground and followed Kagome. She waited for them to reach her before leading them off back into the house.

The First was waiting upstairs in Kagome's bedroom. When they walked in he was bouncing on the bed.

"You do realise your bed has a few springs missing, right?" Shippo panted as he stopped.

"Yes." She answered.

"Well it has a few less now." Shippo glanced at the two Wishbringers behind her. He narrowed his eyes quizzically as his gaze lingered on Miroku. "You. You were the one who sired Inuyasha, right?"

Miroku glanced at Inuyasha, the floor, the underwear drawer in the dresser, then back at the First. "Yes, I am."

"That's a crime in itself, really." Shippo said contemptuously before shaking his head quickly. "But then again, it was his wish and you can't refuse a wish so I can't exactly blame you for all that's happened."

Well at least Miroku could breathe easier. However, Inuyasha's chest constricted a little when the squirt darted a glare at him instead. "But you on the other hand… I can't exactly hold you accountable for creating that abomination that called itself Naraku - that was also Onigumo's wish and like I said you can't deny a wish."

"But what about all the rules I broke?" Inuyasha asked flatly. He saw Kagome watching him out of the corner of his eye, he wanted to look at her and see her expression… but something made him keep his eyes on Shippo only.

"Oh yeah." Shippo scowled and jabbed a finger at him. "Do you know how annoying it is when people break rules? When Wishbringers break rules they're supposed to die - when they use powers outside of wishes then they're supposed to die as well! But you had to be stubborn and survive it - and as a result you've been sapping at my own power reserves you little leech!"

Inuyasha's eyebrows drew together. "I'm sorry?" he offered lamely.

"That won't cut it. Because once a rule-breaker, always a rule breaker." Shippo reprimanded him. Honestly, Inuyasha wasn't really intimidated by his small frame and small voice… but the threat behind those words had him on edge. "There's only one way I can deal with your kind… I have to remove you from this world."

That was ok. Inuyasha could handle that. Kagome couldn't apparently.

She surprised them all by suddenly throwing herself out in front of Inuyasha, like some kind of shield. It reminded him of the time she'd tried to protect him against Miroku. "You can't do that! Inuyasha did nothing wrong!"

"He did everything wrong!" Shippo shouted back at her.

"But he saved my life-"

"And inconvenienced the rest of us while at it." Shippo snapped his eyes back on his target. "You, Inuyasha, have been nothing but a nuisance from the start. You always seem to choose the worst masters and then give them the worst wishes. There's no such thing as the curse of a Wishbringer, but in your case I really have to believe that there is definitely something ominous hanging over you head. And before you say it, I know that you don't mean to do these things - I know - trust me!" he said this as Inuyasha opened his mouth to protest. "And I also know that there is only one course of action to stop this."

Everyone stared silently at the boy. Inuyasha couldn't believe this… it just had to be some kind of joke.

Shippo sighed and folded his arms with a slight pout of a child forced to do something nasty like clean his room. "You're going on probation, Inuyasha. Three hundred years probation in fact, effective from midnight tonight."

No one moved or said a word for a while.

Kagome stepped forward slightly. "P-probation? What do you mean? What kind of…?"

"I'm sorry!" Shippo burst out suddenly, angrily defensive. "I can't help it! He's broken too many rules so he has to be shut up for a while!"

"He's going to be confined to his container for three hundred years." Miroku looked slightly pained. "Probation means that… he'll be conscious throughout his sentence as well. He won't be asleep."

"Right, ok." Inuyasha nodded for a moment while everyone stared at him, waiting for the big explosion. They didn't have to wait too long… "WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROBATION YOU LITTLE TOAD??!!"

"Hey! Even I have to answer to other peoples rules - I can't let you off you know!" Shippo shouted back. "If I went easy on you then everything would slack off and get messy - I can't allow that so I'm sorry but it's not my fault - you brought this on your own head!"

At this point Inuyasha already had the First by the neck and was throttling him angrily. Miroku had to grab him by the ear to drag them apart. "No homicide under this roof!"

Kagome ran a hand through her hair. "Isn't there anything else you could do to punish Inuyasha?" she asked quietly.

"What, like kill him?" Shippo croaked, rubbing his sore neck and eyeing a spitting mad Hanyou being held back by Miroku.

"No!" she half cried. "Can't you go easier on him - three hundred years alone is enough to make anyone go insane!"

"As if he isn't already a crackpot!" Shippo folded his arms in a huff. "This is the most lenient I can be. I could make it so much worse…"

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes slightly, but he calmed down after that. Kagome still fretted. "Won't you change your mind?" she pleaded with the boy.

Shippo shrugged. "It's already set. He has until midnight and then no one will ever be able to summon him for wishes… for a long time." He looked at Kagome. "If I were you, I'd use that last wish now while you have a chance."

Kagome looked down at the ground for a moment, staring hard, and when she raised her head again Inuyasha could see the tears brimming in her eyes. Without a word she turned and fled out of the room, her footsteps growing fainter as she disappeared down the stairs. With a growl, Inuyasha tore himself free of Miroku's grip and grabbed Shippo by the scruff. "You're scum!" he hissed one last time before dropping him and following after Kagome.

Left alone, Miroku sighed as he looked the First over. "That was pretty mean you know."

"Too many people think life's as simple as black and white." Shippo rubbed his rumpled hair. "Only seven percent of people have the fairy tale ending to their lives that they wanted."

"Really?" Miroku raised an eyebrow.

"Sure. It's a factual statistic." Shippo sighed. "Forty percent end up miserable…"

AN: The next chapter will be out shortly, I've almost finished writing it.