InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Brief Moments ❯ Sleepless Night ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter 9

Sleepless Night

 

Kisaki- means empress. Myouga adds sama to the end to show greater respect.

 

Kun- is a title that is used for boys. It is sort of like brother. Keep in mind these are general word equivalents. When the Empress uses it on Myouga, she is insulting him. He has offended her, and she is talking down to him. In Japan, to be called by a lesser title is a great insult(the same might be true if a title is not used too). This is largely due to the level of closeness in one on one relationships. The gang uses kun and chan because they are really close to each other. It is a term of endearment with them. They are also young. As you get older, you don't tend to use titles with close friends. That is not to say that it does not happen. Most of the time, people of the same rank don't use the titles for each other. The title is only used for those you are not familiar with, or those who are above you in rank. However, if someone you are not close to calls you a lesser title than san…you might be getting insulted. Make sure you know how they are using the titles, or you are going to get laughed at a lot. And for your own sake…don't use a title if you are not sure what it means! This could get you hit. Ask someone who might know, or ask the person how you might address them. You are not Japanese, so they will overlook it if you have a good question.

 

***Warning: this info section contains spoilers! If you don't want to know here is the short version, without spoilers. Tenseiga and Toukijin- Swords owned by Sesshoumaru. Tenseiga can bring people back to life. Toukijin is a very powerful, very destructive sword. Now skip down until you see the row of *****. The chapter starts there.

 

Here are the longer explanations, with spoilers….

 

Tenseiga- the sword forged from the fang of Papa Inu(Inu Yasha and Sessy's dad. No, it is not his name!) This is the sword that Sesshoumaru uses to bring Rin back to life. It is also the sword that saved his life when he lost a battle to Inu Yasha and the Tetsusaiga. Where Inu Yasha's sword has the power to destroy 100 youkai at once, Tenseiga can restore hundreds of lives.

 

Toukijin- The sword that Sesshoumaru had forged from the fangs of one of Naraku's detachments. These fangs were strong enough to break the Tetsusaiga in half. The sword is very powerful and it is quite scary that Sesshoumaru can control it with great ease. It shows how powerful he actually is.

 

On a side note…You will not need this for this chapter, but it will come in handy. Inu Yasha wouldn't have survived the fight with this detachment, if it had not been for his youkai blood. This fight was the first time we got to see Inu Yasha transform. I forget the episode number, but if you ask I can find it. I think it is 45, or around there. Anyway, during this transformation Sessy smells the change in Inu Yasha's blood. It inspires him to investigate, and he learns that Inu Yasha is in danger if he continues to transform. Keep this in mind, because I will refer to it again later with greater detail.

 

Now to the story…

******

 

Sesshoumaru was lying on his back in the tall grass. With one leg bent at the knee and the other laid out straight, he was contently watching the night sky. He had removed his armor, as well as Toukijin and Tenseiga, and had laid them all in the grass beside him. His fur was tucked under his shoulders and head for cushioning, while his one good arm rested above his head. He was caught up in the rarest of his rare moods. He considered such moments to be too human in nature, and believe that giving in to them was a weakness in his character. However, tonight he couldn't resist it. The grass felt so soft and cool against his back. The sky was too clear. Something about the night air was too enticing. The day had been long and uneventful. He wanted to give in and enjoy the night.

 

Several yards way was a fire where both Rin and Jaken were sleeping. Jaken was fast asleep, but Sesshoumaru knew that Rin's night wasn't as peaceful. He had been listening to her for hours. She had awakened several times, only to cry herself back to sleep. He knew the nightmares would eventually send her running to him. He was actually lying there waiting for her. It would only be a matter of time. He would need to hold her as she slept, or she wouldn't get any rest at all. This was the pattern that had steadily developed over the years. At first, he had refused to humor her. However, as time went on, he found it harder to say no. Tears from her eyes were enough to make even his heart soften. The more time he allowed himself to be around her, the more he allowed himself to give into her whims.

 

He heard her mumble something in her sleep, which caused him to instantly turn his head towards the fire. When he had noticed that she was still sleeping, he returned his eyes to the stars. He was suddenly irritated with himself for being concerned. `Why do I entertain her? I hold her while she sleeps, because she is frightened of a dream? How foolish,' he thought. He could hear her growing more restless. For the moment, she was only tossing and turning. `Human emotion…I will never understand it,' he sighed. Her breath was growing more rapid by the second. The sound of it was distracting him from his irritation. He turned his head to look at her again, and thought, `Why she is like this? Why do I care what she dreams about?' He had asked himself these questions so many times. He did want to know what she dreamt about, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. Asking would mean that he was concerned about her. That, he couldn't deal with.

 

He heard the sharp intake of breath and knew that she was wake. He listened to the sound of her crying as he waited for her to move. Oddly enough, she was making no attempt to leave her spot next to the fire. It was unusual for her to fight her dreams this long. She was usually curled up in his fur after her second nightmare. When she had made no attempt to come to him, couldn't resist the impulse to sit up and looked towards the fire. His long silver hair rushed around his shoulders as he moved. He had to toss his head to the right in order to force it out of his face. His kimono had loosened when he had removed the armor. This left a large v-shaped neckline, which revealed a well developed chest.

 

She appeared to be looking around. He could sense her fear and panic. He was about to go to her when she stood and began to walk towards him. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest as she moved. She was crying softly when she came to a stop a few feet in front of him.

 

Looking up at her, he could see how much she had grown in the 2 years that she had been with him. `It is hard to believe that this is the same girl that I was forced to save with the Tenseiga. Even in tears, she looks peaceful. She's not like the little one I knew so long ago.' He looked her up and down as his thought continued, `She will need a new kimono very soon. This one will no longer do. It is too short and tattered. A lady should wear fine things.'

 

It suddenly occurred to him that she had been standing there for several moments without a word. “Rin?” He asked in his usual dry voice. She moved closer to him, but did not attempt more. “What it is, Rin?”

 

“I've never seen you like this,” she whispered.

 

He looked down at himself, and back at her. With raised eyebrows, he asked, “Do I disturb you? Why?”

 

“I'm sorry Sesshoumaru-sama,” she said as she dove into his chest.

 

He was completely caught of guard by the girl. First she was fearful of him. Then she was in his chest. Her shifts in emotions were too confusing to understand. Instead he focused on the thought that his appearance had alarmed her. He couldn't understand why. If it had been his true youkai form, he could have understood.

 

Before he knew it, he was being distracted by her pulling at his clothing. It seemed the more she cried, the tighter her hold on his kimono. He could no longer remain silent. The situation was more than he could take on an emotional level. He ordered his mind to focus. When he was sure that he could keep the emotion from his voice, he began to speak, “You are more upset than usual. Why is this?”

 

With her head pressed in tight against his chest, she moved it form side to side. The action seemed more like an attempt at rubbing her nose in his chest than a negative gesture. Odd as the action seemed, Sesshoumaru understood that she was refusing to answer. He could feel the wetness of her tears on his skin. He wanted to ignore them, but he couldn't. Before he could catch himself, his arm was around her. Something about feeling those tears caused him great pain. He wanted only to make them stop.

 

“Tell me,” he whispered. “What do you dream about?” He couldn't keep up the wall. It was coming down all around him. Something in those tears had made it impossible to hide the emotion that he was feeling.

 

She pushed herself back and looked up at him in confusion. It hadn't been an order, or something that he needed to know; there was sadness in his voice, and in his eyes. For years, she believed him to be a hero who had to hide his true heart from the world. Now she had proof of it. She just couldn't believe he had given it to her.

 

“Rin?” He pushed.

 

“I was dreaming about the wolves. I always dream about the wolves,” she admitted.

 

It suddenly made sense to him. `She would dream of her death. That would be reasonable to fear.'

 

He placed his lips on her forehead and whispered, “You cannot forget them.”

 

She through her arms around his neck as he tightened his hold on her. She had never felt so close to anyone in her life. Not even her parents had held her like this when they were alive. She didn't want it to end. She felt safe and cared for. She was sure that it was all she could ever want.

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama…don't ever leave me.”

 

“You are mine. Why would I leave you?” He asked as he eased her off of his lap. After standing up, he handed her his fur.

 

Now that he was no longer holding her, he was able to regain some of his usual arrogance. He had easily gathered his swords and armor in his one arm, while Rin struggled behind him. The fur drug the ground as she fought to keep it under control. It was wrapped around her shoulders and waist, but most of it still trailed behind her. When he reached the tree, he turned back to looked at her. He wanted to smile at the vision of her with the fur, but he wouldn't allow himself to do it. Instead, he placed his things on the ground and took a seat against the tree.

 

“Rin,” he ordered.

 

She knew exactly what he wanted her to do. Remaining wrapped in the fur, she curled up in his lap and prepared for sleep.

 

The moment she snuggled against him, a thought drifted thought his mind, `she is finally as she should be.' He instantly caught himself, and wandered why he had thought it. He wasn't someone who wanted to “cuddle” with a human girl. It was insane! Still he couldn't escape the fact that he had felt enjoyment in having her weight on his chest and stomach. She smelled of flowers that she had been picking earlier in the day. It was a pleasant smell. His eyes closed as the back of his head rested against the tree. `It is only the mood that I am in. One moment of weak character, that is all,' he swore to himself before looking down at her again. `Only a mood.'

 

*******

 

Kagome was lying on her side staring at the blanket that separated her and Inu Yasha from Shippo's side of the room. Inu Yasha was spooned again her back, and trying to get her attention by kissing her shoulder. Unfortunately, it wasn't working as he had hoped.

 

“What it is, Kagome?” Inu Yasha asked.

 

“Is he asleep?” She inquired in a hushed voice.

 

Inu Yasha rose up on one arm to listen for Shippo's breathing. After a moment her answered, “I think so. His breathing is pretty steady. I can hear the music. Do you want me to go check?”

 

Kagome didn't try to move, but said, “It might make me feel better if you did.”

 

He raised his eyebrows and grumbled at the thought, but did as she asked. “What I do for love,” he said as he exited the blankets.

 

It only took a second for him to complete the task. He instantly went down on all fours when he returned to her. The way he was crawling towards her made her stop staring at the blanket. He finally had her full attention as he slowly stalked towards her.

 

“What do you think you are doing?” she asked as she sat up and tried to move backwards.

 

“Don't know,” he answered. He had her pinned before she would move too far from him. His lips were pressed to her ear when he continued, “It's dark, I'm shirtless, and you usually get ideas from that combination.”

 

A shiver went down her spine. If it had not been for the many traumas that she had faced during the day, she would've tackled him the moment they had went to bed. She just couldn't deal with it all. She had to push him back.

 

He had felt her pull way emotionally, so it wasn't a surprise for him when she put her hands on his chest and pushed him backwards. “What have I done?” He whispered, and plopped down on his butt.

 

“What?” She wasn't expecting the question.

 

“You're pulling back from me. It's like you're not giving me all of you or something…you're hiding something. I don't know. I haven't had the chance to figure it out yet,” he rambled on in frustration. “Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

 

“No, it isn't you. I've had a difficult day,” she replied in a distant voice.

 

“Then stop this,” he demanded. He pushed himself forward and took hold of her chin. She was holding back, but he was not going too. “You feel so…I can't describe the feeling. Numb maybe…yeah, numb. That is the way you feel. You say that you've had a difficult day, but that's not it. You're not dealing with how you feel. It's because you don't want me to know what happened today, do you?”

 

She stared at him in silence for a long moment before shaking her head. She didn't want to explain. She didn't want to let herself feel anything, because he would understand too much of it. It wasn't fair that he could understand her that well. It meant that he was going to see how flawed she really was. She didn't want him to see this side of her. He really didn't have a reason to know it existed. She was a different person when she was in his time. She was brave and kind. She had a purpose. The other her was afraid of being the outcast. She wanted shallow things; to be pretty, to be popular, and to be the envy of all. She wanted to be in a group, and she wasn't. She was trying so hard not to blame him for her new outcast status.

 

“Shame…you're ashamed,” he said in a small voice. He let go of her and set back on his legs.

 

Her eyes went wide. She had slipped. She let her guard down at the wrong time and let him feel an emotion that she knew wouldn't be interpreted the right way. Now she had no choice but to tell him everything. If she didn't, he would assume that it was him that she was ashamed of.

 

She reached out and put her hands on his shoulders. He was refusing to look at her. In desperation she said, “Don't do this. It is not you…I swear that it isn't you.”

 

“It has something to do with me, or you would have told me on your own. You wouldn't be trying to hide it from me.”

 

She didn't know what to say to that. She really hadn't thought he would pick up on it. He must have seen the shock in her face, because he suddenly became furious with her.

“Why does everyone think I am an idiot?!” He growled through clinched teeth. “I have a brain. I can figure stuff out too. Just because I don't talk all the time, doesn't make me stupid.”

 

“Inu Yasha? I never said…no one thinks you're stupid.”

 

“Don't! Don't try to give me that hurt voice. No one has to say it. If they weren't thinking it, then I wouldn't get that look all time,” he said as he threw her hands off his shoulders.

 

He was out of the blankets and to the door before she could realize what had happened. He was several yards away be the time she had finally made it to the door. She had to push herself to catch up with him. There he was with no shirt, no sword, and heading for the forest. She was running barefoot, and fighting to keep herself from yelling. She didn't need everyone in the village to know that they were fighting.

 

He had made himself stop when he reached the rice fields. He could feel her desperation and panic, and he couldn't make himself ignore it. He wanted to comfort her more than he wanted to be angry at her. He stopped and waited. He felt her hands slide around his body. She pressed her face in to his hair as it hung down his back. He knew that he had lost. He let his shoulders drop and his head fell back. As he looked up at the sky, he knew that he would do anything to keep her from feeling pain. If it came down to her happiness or his, he didn't care what he had to sacrifice.

 

*****

 

A tall female stood watching the couple from just inside the row of trees. Lovely was the only word that could be used to describe her. Her hair was silver, and long enough for her to sit on. Her face was pale with a slight glow of rose to each of her cheeks. There was a blue crescent moon on her forehead. A heavy blue and purple material had been picked to cover the white silk of her inner garments. Despite the darkness of her kimono, when the moonlight hit her hair, it gave off the illusion that her body was glowing.

 

There was a smile on her lips as she watched Inu Yasha turn to put his arms around Kagome. `You are you father's son, aren't you Inu Yasha? You would sacrifice your pride, as well as your life, to make her happy,' she thought.

 

“We should stop them before they have another night alone,” Myouga insisted, hopping up and down on Kirara's head.

 

“No, let them be. They are safe for the moment, so we shall leave them to themselves.”

 

“Are you pleased, Kisaki-sama?” Myouga asked.

 

“Very much so. He has grown into an extraordinary young man. His father would be quite pleased.”

 

Myouga was puzzled by her comment, “Young man? Are you saying that as if he were a human.”

 

“In his heart he is human, and he is happy because of it. He does not desire to be more, or less than what he already is. You can calm your fear of him attempting to become a full youkai. As long as he has her, he will never consider it an option.”

 

“How can you be so sure of that? He is stubborn and full of himself most of the time. He reminds me of his brother.”

 

Her smile faded as she looked at him. Her eyes narrowed as she asked, “Have you forgotten to whom you are speaking, Myouga-kun?”

 

He instantly panicked and went face first into Kirara's fur. He corrected himself the best he could by saying, “Forgive me, Kisaki-sama, I wasn't thinking.”

 

“Thank you for admitting your fault, Myouga-sama,” she acknowledged as she turned and wave for Kirara to follow her. Her hand rested on Kirara's back as she explained, “I can feel his emotions, if you will remember. Inu Yasha is very different from Sesshoumaru, in many ways. I do not find the comparison to be accurate in the slightest. Both may be stubborn, but Inu Yasha has reached a peace inside himself that Sesshoumaru cannot allow himself. You would be amazed to the extent of which that separates them.” She stopped suddenly and reached for Kirara's chin. Kirara stopped and look up at her. “Thank you, Kirara. You have been wonderful in all of this, haven't you? I am sure you will be glad to return home. I will see to Myouga-sama at this point.”

 

Kirara lifted her head in reply as Myouga jumped from her head to the Empress's arm. Relieved of her passenger, Kirara was happy to turn and head for home.

 

“Be done with it, Myouga. I understand if you need sustenance,” the Empress said. She knew he was dying to make her his snack.

 

“Thank you, Kisaki-sama,” Myouga sang out in a cheery voice before diving in.

 

“Let us rest while we are able. The morning will bring us new troubles all its own.”