InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bring Me To Life ❯ New Friendship ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3: New Friendship

 

Hime's POV

 

As soon as I got home that night, I went in my room, slammed my door, and blasted my music. Sakura noticed this and knocked on my door, asking me what was wrong. I told her to leave me alone until her doggedness finally wore out. I couldn't sleep that night, as I continued to think about everything that happened that evening, everything that I heard. I couldn't remember the last time that I had so much on my mind. But then again I could, but I didn't want to think about it. I was feeling so many emotions at once, but two were most evident confusion and anger. I was confused on why Akito told me to leave and never return and I was confused on why Kagome and the others wanted so much to be my friend. I was angry that Akito and the others couldn't understand why I did what I did, angry at myself for even revealing how I felt to them. They were the only people I thought I could trust, the only people I thought could understand. They knew what I went through…they knew what I had to endure. Yet they couldn't understand why I changed and couldn't accept the new me.

 

There were so many nagging thoughts in my head. One telling me to apologize to Akito and the others for my disrespect and rudeness. Another telling me to apologize to Sesshomaru for throwing soda in his face. Even though I felt he deserved it, I felt I wouldn't feel justified until I apologized, whether he forgave me or not. Around 3:00 a.m. I finally drifted off to sleep. But in reality, I was drifting into a nightmare.

 

I opened my eyes to find myself floating in an empty, black, bottomless abyss. I began to feel sharp pains all over my body. I looked at myself and gasped. I was naked and there were scars and bruises all over my body. Also there were kanji marks printed in my blood. They said a variety of things:

 

Weak…

Poor…

Hopeless…

Helpless…

Pathetic…

Unwanted…

 

All of those words were familiar to me. Suddenly, dark figures began to appear around me. Some laughed and snickered, pointing fingers while others shook their heads in disgust and whispered hateful words. I tried my best to cover myself, feeling exposed, as I felt warm tears trail down my cheeks. Suddenly a clone appeared before me. It was the cold, emotionless me that Akito spoke of.

 

“Don't you see…the world will never accept you for who you truly are. They will mock you…they will hate you. No one cares for you. Kagome and others are only trying to deceive you…You are pathetic…you are weak…you're a fool…no one wants you…”

 

I just sat there and said nothing as I continued to cry. A gasped when I felt a pair if warm arms wrap around me. The emotionless me and the dark figures disappeared. I didn't know who it was that was holding me, but I suddenly felt safe, loved, and accepted.

 

“Never be afraid to be yourself…just trust your heart, believe in yourself, and you'll be fine. And never be afraid to reveal how you truly feel. The world is a much brighter place…when you smile and show your true colors…”

“Who are you?” I asked but just as I turned to see who it was, there was a bright light…

 

I opened my eyes and looked around to find myself in the comfort of my room. The sun was peering brightly through my window, filling my room with light. I blinked before sitting up, yawning. For a while, I just sat there, thinking about the strange dream I just had. It started out as a nightmare, like many of the ones I had, only to end as a blissful dream…being held by strong, warm pair of arms…being told it was okay to be myself…

 

“Could that have been…Kyo?” I thought hopefully. But then I shook my head, trying to get the entire thing out of my head. I looked at the clock to see it was 2:45 in the afternoon. During the entire time I was showering and getting dressed I couldn't get the dream out of my head. I couldn't forget that voice…that seemed to make my whole body tremble. I felt ridiculous, making such a big deal over a dream.

 

When I went downstairs, I saw Sakura heating up leftover beef stew from last night's dinner on the stove and Jin was leaning over the counter, talking to her. He smiled at me and said, “I see Sleeping Beauty has finally awoken.”

 

“Sleeping, yes, beauty, no.” I said sitting on a stool.

 

He tossed his arm around me and said “Don't be silly. Everybody knows I have the most beautiful sisters in town.”

 

I rolled my eyes and moved his arm. “So how was your first week of school? Make any friends?” he asked.

 

It amazed me how quick Kagome and the others appeared in my head when he mentioned the word “friends”. They had offered me their friendship but I hadn't really accepted it yet so I didn't think we were officially friends yet. I just shrugged and said, “I dunno…”

 

“What do you mean `I dunno'? That was a yes or no question.”

 

“They've asked me to be their friends countless times…I'm just not sure whether I'm ready to accept. They seem nice and cool and everything but…”

 

“Well if someone is really trying to be your friend you shouldn't turn them down. True friends are rare these days and I know it can be hard to trust people you've just met. Just give them a chance. They might end up being friends you'll have for the rest of your life.” Sakura said placing a bowl of beef stew in front of me. Deep in my heart I wanted to believe what Sakura said was true but I still couldn't help but have doubts. It had been such a long time since I had any real friends, excluding Akito and the others. But after what happened…I kind of felt I lost their friendship.

 

After I finished eating Sakura asked me if I was going out.

 

“Not really. There's nowhere to go.” I said sitting on the couch.

 

“Are you kidding? There are plenty of places to go. Besides you shouldn't spend all day in the house.”

 

“Are you trying to kick me out?” I asked.

 

“No! I just want you to go out and have fun,” she said with a sigh. “Besides it's been a while since we've exactly done anything together…I was kind of hoping we could go out…if you felt like it.”

 

Sakura was right. It had been a while since we did anything together. I didn't realize until then how sad it made her. I put on a small smile and said “Sure. Why not?”

 

She smiled brightly and said “YAY!” She embraced me tightly and said “I'm said glad we can finally spend some time together.”

 

“Why didn't you just ask before?” I asked.

 

“Well…you were always in a bad mood and I didn't want to pressure you to do something you didn't want to do.”

 

“Funny…you seem to do that all the time.” I said.

 

“What do you mean?” she asked letting go of me.

 

“Don't play dumb. You know what I mean. You're always pressuring me to do stuff I don't want to do and I only do it to make you happy. This past Monday is a perfect example.”

 

“I was only trying to help.”

 

“Help? I was fine with what I was wearing. You only wanted me to wear that slutty outfit so I could catch some guy's attention.”

 

“Yeah? So what if I was? I mean, c'mon Hime, get real! You haven't had a boyfriend since Kyo died and I thought it might be nice if you met another guy. Besides that outfit wasn't slutty.”

 

“Well what if I don't want to get with another guy? Did you ever think about the fact that maybe I want to stay single?”

 

“You're just saying that because you haven't gotten over Kyo! He's dead Hime! Get over him!”

 

I gasped and so did she. She put her hands over her mouth, probably regretting what she said. “G-gomen ne…” she said in a soft voice.

 

I ran past her and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind me. And just when I thought she couldn't get any more careless with her words. She really, really surprised me.

 

I leaned against the door as I listened to the conversation Jin and Sakura were having.

 

Jin: So much for your time together.

Sakura: I know…I didn't mean to say that…I was just angry and I…

Jin: You know she still misses him…those two were really close.

Sakura: I know and I kind of envied their relationship back then…I never had a deep relationship with someone like that. She was always so happy even when times were rough…

Jin: Yeah…

Sakura: I just thought I'd be helping her get over him by helping her hook up with someone else…she was devastated when he died…I thought that if she was with someone else…she'd take her mind off him…she'd forget about him…

Jin: Sakura…you have to give Hime time. You just can't expect her to forget about stuff like that over night. She was deeply in love with him and she lost a huge part of herself when he died. So she will heal…she may never forget…but in due time she'll be ready to accept someone else into her heart.

Sakura: Yeah…you're right.

 

I walked away, not wanting to hear anymore. As hard as I tried to erase everything they said from my memory, it remained there. And then, as I continued to walk, more voices appeared in my head.

 

You were fine the way were. You were never a burden to us but a blessing. Despite the things you went through, despite the pain you were feeling, you would always ask us if there was anything you could do for us, anything that we needed. Your smile and joy always brought us warmth. Your ability to be yourself and the love, generosity, selflessness that you showed was an inspiration to us. The way you are now…cold, emotionless, prideful and the way you think…is just pathetic.

 

We accept you…and we always have. We've been there for you and loved you despite what you've been through.

 

Kyo loved and accepted you as well. He would have done anything for you.

 

He valued his life…but he valued yours more then you do. And that is why he did what he did.

 

You just can't expect her to forget about stuff like that over night. She was deeply in love with him and she lost a huge part of herself when he died. So she will heal…she may never forget…but in due time she'll be ready to accept someone else into her heart.

 

I shook my head and thought “No one can love me like Kyo did…even if I were to fall in love with someone else…they would never love me in return.”

 

I was so deep in my thoughts; I didn't watch where I was going and bumped into someone. I fell along with person.

 

“Watch where you're…” I stopped what I was saying when I realized it was Kagome. I stood up and helped her up. She dusted herself off and said “Sorry bout that.”

 

“No…I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going.” I said.

 

“It's okay. So Hime…” she seemed a bit hesitant for a moment. “How are you?”

 

“I'm fine I guess…I just got in a fight my sister.”

 

“Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?”

 

I realized her concern and said “Yeah I'm fine; it was just a verbal fight. Nothing major.”

 

“Oh that's good. I get into fights with my brother Sota sometimes too. But I guess that's what siblings do. But you know…I've always wanted to know what its like to have a sister.”

 

“It's alright I guess. Though she can be a real pain sometimes. She's so persistent…”

 

“Like me?” Kagome asked.

 

I was silent for moment and said “Did…Inuyasha tell you I said that?”

 

She nodded and said “It's alright though. I know I can be a bit persistent. I normally don't give up until I get something accomplished. But…I am sorry.”

 

“For what?” I asked.

 

“For asking you over and over to be my friend. I was very persistent and I wasn't very considerate of your feelings. But now…I'm going to be patient and wait until you're comfortable and ready. I won't force you to be my friend and if you really don't want to then just tell me. I just hate to see people alone…just know if you ever need anything then I'm here for you…as well as Inuyasha and the others. I can't forget them” she said with a smile.

 

I could have cried. There was a side of me saying she didn't mean it, but her words were so sincere and true I ignored it. Maybe Sango and Sakura were right all along. Maybe, I could give them a chance.

 

I've seen plenty of people who feel they are fine on their own, who feel they don't need friends. And it's all because they've experienced false friendships in the past or they've been betrayed or hurt. Trust me I know. I used to be like that. But after meeting Kagome I learned that not everyone is the same and there are some true friends out there.

 

Well if someone is really trying to be your friend you shouldn't turn them down. True friends are rare these days and I know it can be hard to trust people you've just met. Just give them a chance. They might end up being friends you'll have for the rest of your life.

 

“Arigato Kagome-chan” I said with a small smile. “I…think I'll give you a chance…all of you…”

 

Her smile grew as she gave me a friendly hug. I was surprised and weakly hugged back.

 

“So where were you headed?” Kagome asked.

 

“Nowhere really…” I said.

 

“Well why don't you come with me? I was headed to Inuyasha's house. Sango, Miroku and Sesshomaru and his friends, Rin and Jaken are going to be there too. We're a party at his indoor swimming pool.”

 

I gasped for several reasons. 1) Sesshomaru was going to be there 2) I didn't have a bathing suit and 3) Inuyasha had an indoor swimming pool. I explained it to Kagome, expect for the part about Sesshomaru and she winked and said “Don't worry about a thing.”

 

Even though our friendship had just begun, I couldn't help but feel that I could trust her. She seemed like a trustworthy person and the friendship she offered was genuine. I couldn't help but think that this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship that would blossom over time.