InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken Fates ❯ The Other Side of the Soul ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 10: The Other Side of the Soul

Yasha sighed, then rolled his eyes, knowing that what he was about to do was necessary, but still finding it annoying. He was an adult... and he'd lived with this situation all his life, so it felt funny to just now be talking about it with Mika. He felt like a fool - as though he was being considered to weak to figure things out on his own.

That wasn't the way things were, however, and inside, he knew that. Besides... once Kagome remembered everything, they'd be needing to work with Mika anyway. They just had too much between them to work out for him to want to waste time doing it alone. They probably could do so, but it would take a hell of a lot longer, and he was tired of waiting. He just wanted to get this whole mess settled.

So, he found himself sitting in Mika's office, waiting for the first of many visits with her, and he wondered idly... what would her first question to him be? Knowing her, she'd start at the beginning - the very beginning. Of this life, at least. With another sigh, he began to cast his mind back, preparing himself for the journey through his memories that was about to take place.

---cCc---

Mika watched Yasha as he walked into the room and sat down, a considering look on her face. She could see the apprehension on his features, and wondered what he was worried about. Tilting her head, she waited 'til he was seated, then asked, "Why are you worried, Yasha? I can feel it in your aura."

Yasha blinked. That wasn't what he'd thought her first question would be, and he chuckled. Shaking his head with amusement, he sighed.

"There's nothing wrong, per say, it's just... while my life, and past life, have always been known to everyone, in general, I've never really spoken of it in detail with anyone before. It's... odd. How many people do you know who have most of the memories from their last life intact? Or find themselves in the situation that Kagome and I are in?"

Mika chuckled as well when she heard his words. "Indeed, Yasha. Your case is certainly unique. But tell me... what are your real feelings for Kagome? Do you love her because of Inuyasha's memories in you of Kikyou? Or do you love her because of Yasha's memories of Kagome?"

He looked at her with surprise. "Why would I love her because she was once Kikyou? Hell, if it were me running around with Kagome and Kikyou in the past, it wouldn't be Kikyou I'd have gone after. The memories I have of her from Inuyasha... well, let's just say, I don't have any particular fondness for the woman. As far as I'm concerned, Kagome's a much better woman all around than my ancestress ever was."

"Then why do you love Kagome, if it isn't simply because of the past connection between you two - is it because the kami have tied you two together?" She had a curious look on her face... she really wanted to know the answer to this question.

Yasha blinked at her, then let his gaze go far away, and she wondered what he was thinking of in that moment. "I know for a fact that our souls are bound together - I can feel the bond like a living thing within me, Mika. But that's not to say that I love her because I have to. I love her for who she is." He smiled, that same far-away look still on his face, and said softly, "You never got the chance to meet her before all of this caused her so much harm. She's a wonderful, beautiful person, and I couldn't ever ask for anything more than she is. To my way of thinking, there is nothing better than Kagome, and Inuyasha - well, I feel sorry for him, when you get right down to it. I'm glad it wasn't me stuck with that cold wench he mated. Kagome's nothing like that."

He shuddered at that thought. "Thank the gods for that. That's all I can say."

Mika sat back in her chair, contemplating him silently for a few moments. Apparently, he was quite well aware that Kagome was a separate personality from Kikyou... but she wondered how he rationalized that, with his knowledge of the fact that their souls were one and the same.

"Let me ask you this, Yasha. You seem to see Kagome both as a separate entity from Kikyou, yet be easily able to accept that she and Kikyou share the same soul. How do you do that?"

He frowned at that, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "Well..." he trailed off, unsure for a minute how to explain it. To him, it was clear, but putting it into words was not as easy as thinking about it.

"I guess... to me it's like the facets of a diamond. It's all the same stone, but each side is a little bit different. Kikyou was one side, or facet, of the soul, Kagome is another - a more developed side, true, but still just another facet. I mean, Kikyou wasn't even the first birth of their soul... there's several other facets there, you know." He shrugged, then.

"That's not an exact explanation or anything, but it's as close as I can get. I just seem to understand it inside where it counts... without words."

Mika nodded. "I guess I can understand what you are saying, somewhat. Some things only the kami themselves fully understand. I am just glad to see that you know that Kagome and Kikyou are two totally different people."

He laughed at that. "Oh, yeah. Like I said, ancestress or not, preincarnation of the woman I love or not, I consider Kikyou to be a bitch. How Inuyasha could stand to be around her... well, at least at first. To be fair, while my memories of his later life after Kagome left are not complete, I do know that she eventually came to understand that her behavior towards Kagome had been horrid - and she did feel sorry for it."

Mika thought of something, then, and looked up at him. "The way you spoke of me not having ever met Kagome before all of this happened... I had the impression that because of the timeline, you had never actually met her, either. Was I wrong?"

'Oh... no, I never actually 'met' her. But I have watched over her since the day I was old enough to be out on my own - and that's been years. I know her pretty well... the difficult part is that for all the time I've spent watching over her, and getting to know her, she hasn't had the same. To be honest, I'm having a hard time keeping that in mind. I have found myself fighting my instincts - my beast - who expects Kagome to know me and to just accept me as a mate... now."

Mika nodded. "Go on."

"He's impatient." Yasha laughed wryly. "Well, that's not anything new - all youkai are impatient," he grinned at her as she laughed, "you know that as well as I do. But for me, I do have that little bit of human in me, that's trying to temper the beast. That side of me understands that Kagome needs time - it's just that the big dumb animal that makes up eighty percent of me doesn't want to listen. I've had to jerk his chain quite hard, several times."

"Well, you know, maybe you shouldn't be quite so hard on him, Yasha. Think about it... how long have you known about Kagome and who she would be to you? You know how youkai and their beasts are about their mates. I'd say he's done pretty well, all things considered."

Yasha thought about that. "You know, I guess you're right. I've known about Kagome since I became self-aware."

"So, tell me. How do you see Inuyasha's memories? Do you know everything that happened in his life? And when did you gain them?"
Yasha chuckled at that. "Wow. One at a time, there, Mika! Let's see... his memories are like, I don't know... dreams?" He frowned. "You sure are asking questions that are hard to find words for today. They're sorta like dreams, but yet clear - I know they're memories."

"Okay. So...?"

"As for knowing everything - no. I remember most things up until he was pinned to the tree, then everything after Kagome woke him up... until she left through the well for the last time. Then after that, the memories are less. I basically have a general idea of his life after Kagome - the important bits, anyway. I think the kami only gave me what I needed to know for Kagome's sake, and my own."

"And? When did you start remembering these things?"

"Hmm." He tilted his head, looking down at his hands thoughtfully. "It seems that they started slowly, when I was young - a few at a time, really. It got faster as I got older - and by the time I was twelve I pretty much knew everything I do now."

"I see. And when you were little, and first started remembering things, what did you think these memories were?"

He raised a brow in surprise at that question. "I... never really thought about it." He closed his eyes then, trying to look so far back in his memories wasn't easy.

"I wasn't sure, at first, what they were, so I just figured them for dreams - but as they became more frequent, I finally went to my dad and asked him... and that's when he told me about Inuyasha and Kikyou - and especially about Kagome. About who I was. It was... a lot to take in."

"And how did you feel about what he told you?"

"At first, I didn't want any part of it. At least, not the reincarnation thing. I wasn't averse to getting to know Kagome, though. I wanted to meet her from the moment father talked about her."

Mika nodded. She'd thought as much. Apparently, his beast really had been waiting a very long time.

"Let me ask you something." At his curious nod, she continued. "Have you ever dated anyone else?"

Yasha started laughing. "Nope. Don't want anyone else. That's what no one seems to understand fully. There will never be anyone else for me. She's it."

"Don't your friends tease you about not dating?" She was surprised at this - most guys wanted to keep up appearances at all costs - and besides, Yasha was a very handsome male, so she was sure that he'd been pursued by a lot of girls, especially in school.

"Feh. What do I care if they jump from woman to woman like grasshoppers in a field of flames? I know what I want, I know what I'm going to have, and I'm good with that. If I have to wait for another ten years, I'll do it. Not that I won't probably be impatient, because I really, really want her, bad, but she's worth the wait. Totally."

"I'm glad you think so, Yasha - and I hope she comes to see that she's a lucky girl to have a guy like you willing to wait for her - and able to be faithful to her while doing so. Most men are not that way." Mika was proud to call him family - he was an honorable young male - in a time when very few had any honor at all.

He blushed a bit. "Keh. Kagome's worth it. I love her - so what would I want with some other female?" He shrugged.

"And besides... I'd say we're both lucky. We're lucky that we've been allowed to love each other through so many lifetimes. How many other people can say that?"

---cCc---


Sesshoumaru sighed, pleased that after so long, he'd finally managed to track down the one thing from Kagome's past that he could restore to her. It had taken some time, and a great deal of effort, but it would be worth it... and in the long run, would probably help the little miko in recovering her indomitable spirit.

Privately, he thought that that would be a loss for the entire world - to lose something as precious as the caring soul that existed within the tiny onna. It had been damaged, beaten down, and cast aside, in a sense, and even though right now she was suffering, the light that made it up was still there. It just needed to be rescued, and given help to heal.

He was determined that whatever she needed to do so would be provided. After all, it had been his baka of a brother that had caused most of the damage - and after she had given everything she had to save their world... the world of five hundred years ago. It wasn't her world, and it wasn't her problem, technically - it had been Kikyou's mistakes and her problem, but she had still done everything she could, and he would return that honor by helping her regain what she'd lost because of it, up to and including any help she needed to finish her education in any subject she chose at university.

Settling back in his chair, he steepled his hands in front of himself, and closed his eyes in thought. Tomorrow, he would meet with the object of his hunt.

The kitsune youkai, Shippo.

He knew for a fact that the young kit would have attempted to make contact with his long-lost mother figure himself - only, he'd never known for sure when she was from. He had checked on the family every fifty years or so, but the last time he'd come around had been about thirty years before... he wasn't due for another twenty.

But he was needed now.

He was probably Kagome's best hope for some healing - and closure. Because she was grieving not only for what Inuyasha had done to her, but also for the sudden loss of her friends.

All of them had been so angered by Inuyasha's decision to send Kagome home, and the way in which he'd done it, that they had all moved on in their lives, losing contact with the hanyou and his mate. Especially the kit. He'd been devastated, and his rage at Inuyasha's actions had turned to hatred very quickly. He'd left, and never looked back.

Now, Shippo could tell her all the things about her friends, how their lives had gone... what they'd done, and about their children. The other thing he could do - reunite Kagome and the only other member of the pack to survive the centuries...

Kirara.

Those two had stayed together after the slayer and monk had finally passed on, and were inseparable now. Sesshoumaru was pretty sure that once Shippo and Kirara knew that Kagome was back, they'd be moving somewhere close by, and wouldn't be moved from her side again - not by anything.

The only thing he was concerned with in the whole thing was Shippo's reaction to Yasha. He hoped to make it clear to the kitsune tomorrow that he wasn't responsible for Inuyasha's past actions, despite being his reincarnation. It would be better for all concerned if the young youkai male could be made to understand the situation, and agree to treat his nephew as himself, not a reflection of the hanyou from so many years ago.

It would, after all, avail him nothing to treat Yasha, like Inuyasha. The only real likeness between the two was their tendency to talk alike - brash, and at least in Kagome's case, with the seemingly overwhelming urge to call her 'wench'. He'd not noticed her objecting too much to that name in the past - the one she'd hated had been 'bitch'. Maybe she saw it as a term of endearment. He shrugged lightly at that. He'd heard people use worse words in that way, so... he made a mental note to ask her about it - someday.

The sound of the phone ringing brought him out of his reverie, and he reached out and picked up the office extension.

"Taisho."

"Hello, father. I just wanted to call and let you know that I had my first visit with Yasha today."

He raised a brow in amusement. "And?"

"You know I can't tell you anything about what we talked about - there's that little thing called 'privacy'. But I can say this - your previous concerns about his feelings for Kagome are unfounded. You should not be concerned any longer."

He raised a brow in amusement at his daughter's clever wording. She had not broken any laws with what she'd just said, and yet let him know point blank that the boy truly loved the miko for herself, not because of his past life and who she used to be.

"Very good, Mika. You know I am meeting with the kitsune tomorrow - I need you to go to the shrine tomorrow evening and see about the miko's condition... I do not desire to take him to her before she is ready - before she has remembered everything."

"I agree. I will do as you ask, father." He heard a gusty sigh through the phone. "Was there anything else you needed from me?"

"Yes, daughter, as a matter of fact, there is. This weekend the rest of your siblings will be attending dinner here with me. You will also make time to appear."

Mika laughed at that. "Very well, father. Dreading being surrounded by your offspring?"

Now it was his turn to sigh, although it was in amusement. "It will most definitely be a challenge. I have never understood how you all managed to make so much noise."

"Well, most dogs are not quiet, father - I daresay you are an aberration."

He growled lightly into the phone and she laughed. "Goodnight, father. I will call you tomorrow night after speaking with Kagome."

"Hn. Goodnight, Mika."

He hung up the phone and once again sat back in his chair.

It was good that she'd learned the truth of the boy's feelings for the young miko so quickly. If his answers to the questions had been unacceptable, kami be damned - he'd not have allowed the boy near her.

She deserved better than to be a mere replacement of a past love.

---cCc---

A/N: Sorry it took a few days to get this chapter out, I'm dealing with being pretty sick right now, so I'll probably be working slow for the next week or so, anyway. Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!

Amber