InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken Fates ❯ Differences ( Chapter 25 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 25: Differences

The first thing on Yasha's mind when he woke the next morning was the taste of Kagome - as he ran his tongue over his lips for the thousandth time since that kiss, he smiled with the knowledge that he could still taste her.

There was nothing like it, and suddenly, he could hardly wait until the day he woke with her by his side, knowing that he could taste her every day for the rest of his life - provided they could ever get there, of course.

He frowned lightly at that thought... even thinking about the possibility that they wouldn't work out scared the hell out of him, but he brushed those thoughts away - he refused to darken this beautiful day with negative thoughts.

As his excitement and happiness thrummed within him again, he jumped up, and rushed to get ready for the day. He had to get over to Shippo's... he needed someone to let it all out with, and he knew the fox would love the hell out of the story - especially the part about what Kagome had done to Akina and her buddies.

Then a frown twitched across his brow again as he thought back to the confrontation, as something about it began to bother him. It took him a few minutes to get what it was, but when he did...

His frown deepening, he decided to ask Shippo what he thought about it, and depending on what the fox had to say, he might call Mika and talk to her about it.

He hadn't really been paying attention at the time, what with everything else that had been going on, but Kagome had been much more foul-mouthed last night than she had ever been before. She had never been the type for cursing - that was one thing he remembered greatly from his past life - Inuyasha had been sat more than once for his dirty mouth.

So what changed? he thought, a little bit worried, though not overly concerned yet, still... it needed addressed. For such a thing about her, a major personality trait like that, to have changed, meant that there could be other things that had done so as well.

That thought wasn't very comforting, and as his happiness suddenly dimmed a little, he grabbed a bag of dried meats from the kitchen, and took off out the door, headed at top speed for Shippo's.

On the way there, it didn't escape him that there was no sign of his stalker, and despite his concern over Kagome's behavior, he couldn't help but laugh at the memories of last night - and at the fact that he was free from the crazy bitch named Akina.

The trip only took minutes, and just like that, he was knocking impatiently on his friend's door.

He had to laugh again, though, when the door swung open, showing a rather disturbed, messy fox - apparently, he'd still been sleeping.

"What the hell, man?! It's like, almost eleven - what're ya doing still sleeping?" Yasha burst out, and Shippo gave him a hard glare even as he stepped back and let him into his foyer.

"Some of us have a life, and I was up late last night. Hell, I didn't even get in until two in the morning! Now... what are you doing pounding on my door?"

"I got lots to tell ya, Shippo - so fucking much happened last night!" Yasha slipped his shoes off and bounced into the living room, plopping down on the couch as Shippo slouched over to his favorite chair and slumped down in in, a grin settling on his still sleep-flushed face.

"So what's got you all cheerful, Yash?" he asked, curious now. He'd never seen the hanyou look so... so happy.

"I don't know how your night went, but mine was the best ever," he chirped, and Shippo stared at him with a raised brow. Yasha being cheerful was a rather... disturbing sight. Especially in light of who he had been in a previous life.

"Well?" he asked, beginning to be impatient.

Yasha flapped his hands at the kitsune laughingly. "Okay, okay, fine. So this is what went down. I was sitting at home last night, bored as hell, when Kagome called me." He grinned at Shippo's start of surprise. "Yeah, that was my reaction. And then, when she told my why she was calling, I almost choked. She asked me out on a date, man!"

Wide-eyed, Shippo just stared at the hanyou. He was utterly shocked.

"And then, when I got to the shrine, oh, hell, it only got even better! We were talking as we walked, and she basically said she wanted to be my girlfriend!! So we're dating now... isn't that awesome?!"

Shippo cleared his throat and blinked. "Wow. I wonder what made her do such an about-face? I mean, she's even been avoiding me for a while now... I was starting to think we were losing her."

Yasha nodded, a grimace passing over his mobile features at that. "I know... I was really beginning to get depressed, sure that we'd never get any further, but then..." his face brightened again, "she even let me kiss her... and, boy was it awesome!"

Shippo snickered at the look on the hanyou's face... he looked pole-axed - it was freakin' hilarious, at least in his opinion. "I bet your stalker loved that," he chortled.

He wasn't prepared for the raucous laughter that that engendered.

"Oh... that's the part you're really gonna love. Kagome got tired of the stalker and lit on a way to get rid of her... sorta." He scowled. "I think she's focused on Kagome now, like she wants to prove Kagome's some kind of freak or something. But anyway, she scared the hell outta the bitch, and her friends."

Shippo just chuckled, sitting back against the chair, relaxed. "She always was fiery when she was defending people she cared about," he said.

Yasha frowned again at that. "Yeah, but there was something kinda different about it last night. It was... darker... than anything I remember from her before. She cursed a lot, too. I've never seen her like that - she was actually enjoying scaring those girls, and threatening them."

Shippo sat up a bit at that, a frown growing on his face, as well. "That doesn't sound too good, does it?" He looked down, scowling, but before he could say anything else, Yasha's phone rang. He didn't pay too much attention as the hanyou answered, until he realized who was calling.

"Hey, Kagome," Yasha said, almost shyly, wondering if she was feeling different about things with the light of day. The thought scared him.

"Hey, Yash... so... I was wondering - did you want to hang out today? We could see if Shippo wants to, too..." she trailed off, sounding uncertain.

Yasha scrambled to answer. "I could ask him, I'm at Shippo's right now, if you want."

"Sure!"

He glanced at Shippo, and the kitsune nodded firmly. Yasha put his hand over the phone, muffling the microphone as Shippo whispered, "I want to ask her about last night - you know, what happened with Akina. That way, I can see her face. I just need to know..." he trailed off and Yasha nodded.

"Shippo said that sounds cool - so when do you want us to swing by and pick you up? And what do you want to do?"

"Hmmm... well, we could go play mini golf, or something, go to the mall - but guys don't usually like that - or we could--"

Yasha cut her off. "Mini golf sounds fine, woman, now just tell me when we should pick you up?"

She huffed at him. "In an hour?"

"That's fine. We'll see you then." He hung up without waiting for a reply, knowing it would drive her nuts - when they saw her he was gonna get an earful... but that was okay. It would keep her in high spirits.

"She said an hour. That enough time for you, fox boy?" Yasha grinned at the irritated glare cast his way.

"It's fine, stupid, now stop talkin' and let me go get ready. Mini golf," he huffed with annoyance as he walked from the room. "Remind me to never let you pick where we go again!"

Yasha laughed. "You're just jealous 'cause the last time we played, I won!" he called out, shaking his head as he was answered by a slamming door.

Spoil sport, he thought, as he settled down to wait.

So far, so good. The day had started out excellently... hopefully, it would end just as well.

---cCc---

Shippo was actually nervous about this outing.

He let a sour look pass across his face as they waited for Kagome to join them - he hated feeling this way, but what Yasha had told him about his favorite miko's behavior...

Well, she wasn't acting normal. And that worried him.

So he fretted, and fumed, and waited impatiently for the young woman to join them, only to be blinded by her smile when she finally did.

"Hi, Shippo," she chirped cheerily, and he wiped the peeved look off his face to smile back at her, though the sour look remained - on the inside. All this cheerfulness was actually grating - first Yasha, and now her - especially since he was still rather sleepy, and hadn't planned on going anywhere today.

"Hey, K'gome. So..." he broke off as they turned and began making their way across the shrine courtyard, "... I hear that you and Yash...?" He left it open, just to see what she would say.

She blushed, but smiled shyly; it was a look he'd seen on her face many times before, and was purely Kagome. She glanced sideways at an also blushing Yasha, then nodded.

"Mhmm. I finally realized that I wasn't being fair to him by not giving him a chance, so I decided it was time to do that." She took a deep breath, then reached over and grabbed Yasha's hand with her own.

She didn't miss the hanyou's wide smile at her actions.

Shippo watched the two interact, and wondered if the hanyou was going to start initiating courting behaviors. He was well aware that Kagome had already started what amounted to human courting, thus, the dating - but youkai, and hanyou, had certain rituals all their own, and he didn't think Kagome was aware of that.

Since the only other person that she'd ever really had any sort of relationship with, never could pull his head out of his ass, Shippo thought sourly, his thoughts touching on Inuyasha.

Bah. Yasha's different - he's never wanted anyone but Kagome - so she won't ever have to deal with him being disloyal.

But that left another thing that he would need to talk to Yasha about - if he and Kagome were going to get serious, he would have to be upfront with Kagome and tell her everything - including all youkai courting rituals. She wouldn't be left in the dark this time around.

As the day wore on, Shippo began to be a little more aware of certain... differences, in the girl that he had known. For one thing, Yasha was right - while not a lot of naughtier words passed her lips, some did, and that was a rather large change from the way things used to be.

Also, there was a certain darkness that tainted the purity of the girl's soul, and as time went on, he began to suspect that that was the part of her that had once been Kikyou. It was a separate part, something that shouldn't be; the soul should all be joined as one - but hers wasn't.

So she's still fighting the part of her that was Kikyou - she really doesn't want to accept that part of herself. He scowled inwardly. Can't blame her, there - that bitch never did anything nice to Kagome, that's for sure. But she has to accept that part of herself - she won't be whole until she does.

If she keeps fighting it, that darkness is only going to get bigger.

Somehow, they had to figure out how to get her past that final hurdle. And with a peculiarly sinking feeling, Shippo was pretty sure that hurdle was going to be the hardest one to get past.

Fuck... why can't any of this be easy? Hasn't fate fucked with her enough, making enough of her life hard, that something should be allowed to come easy for once?

For the first time ever, Shippo was actually glad when the day out with the two ended, and Kagome was dropped off at home - he had a lot to discuss with Yasha, and it wasn't anything he wanted Kagome privy to. At least, not yet - they didn't need her going off the deep end.

After they left her, silence fell between the two, and was maintained all the way through until they reached Yasha's house. He'd deliberately steered his friend towards home - they needed to talk, and he wanted the hanyou's parents there just in case - the two older people could be used as sounding boards for things if they were needed.

Once they arrived at his house, Yasha checked in with his mother, who welcomed Shippo happily, inviting him to stay for dinner, then pulled the fox into his room. The moment the door was closed, he turned, arms folded across his chest, causing an unknowing shiver to slip down Shippo's spine - he really looked like Inuyasha in that moment.

"Keh. So... what do you think?" he asked.

Shippo rolled is eyes at his friend. "Yeah, thanks for the offer to sit down and make myself comfortable," he said with heavy irony as he tossed himself down on the hanyou's bed. "Geeze, Yash, you're so polite, I just don't know what to think."

"Aww, shut the hell up," the hanyou groused, throwing himself into his overstuffed recliner, knocking his playstation controller off the seat as he dropped. "Start talkin'. You spent most of the day being quiet and watching, so..."

Shippo nodded. "I see what you meant about the whole cursing thing - that's definitely different." He laid his head back and stared at the ceiling. "I think that we should maybe talk to Sesshoumaru... I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong, and it's gonna take all of us to pull her through it."

Yasha scowled, then a growl left his throat. "Well?! What the hell's wrong then?"

"She hates Kikyou so much that it's tainting her soul, and that portion of her soul that used to be Kikyou is still separated from the rest of her soul, even though it's inside her, it hasn't even begun to heal the division within itself." He sighed, closing his eyes. "She has to deal with that portion of herself - or she'll never heal, and her soul will only grow dark, and divide even more into smaller parts... like a fracture that's not taken care of."

Yasha stared at him, then looked away, a solemn expression settling on his face. "Keh. Guess I'm not surprised... not like Kikyou didn't deserve to have Kagome's hatred... but hating things isn't Kagome, and that's only going to break her apart. We probably should talk to Sesshoumaru... he'll have better ideas than the rest of us on how to get Kagome to start dealing with that part of her soul."

Shippo had opened his eyes and glanced over at his friend, when he saw the dark look in his eyes, he had to cheer him up. "Hey... don't look so down, stupid. She's getting better, isn't she? Just a few days ago, things were a lot worse, right? She keeps making huge leaps towards getting back to being Kagome... just have faith that she'll eventually find her way back."

Yasha glanced over at the kitsune, and smiled, albeit half-heartedly. "Yeah... I guess you're right. It's just... hard sometimes. But let's just worry about food right now," he lifted his nose into the air, sniffing hard, "Mom's about to call us for dinner."

With a discernible effort, the inu pushed thoughts of Kagome to the back of his mind and tried to enjoy the meal with his family, and his friend.

Kagome...

---cCc---

See? I told you... every minute you spend in his company makes you happier. Once you stop doing the opposite of what you want to do just to spite me, you'll be a lot better off.

Eventually, Kagome, you'll have to accept me back as part of you - without me, you will never be whole.

Kagome went from happy, to pissed, in three seconds flat, as the part of Kikyou that she was unwillingly harboring, began to speak within her mind, and she snarled inwardly.

Shut up, you stupid bitch! I might be hapy, but the minute you start talking, I get unhappy. And I don't have to take crap back - I haven't been whole since you stole that part of my soul away from me and contaminated it, and I'm still here!

The only times that Kagome was happy anymore is when that piece of Kikyou was silent - and as time went on, the stupid bitch was getting noisier and noisier, making it that much harder to ignore her.

As much as she was getting better in other ways, that was the one thing she wasn't budging on - she wanted nothing to do with that part that had been Kikyou. If she could, she'd kick that psychic vampire right out of herself and never let her back in.

That was one thing that she still held anger at everyone about - making her take that bit back against her will. In some ways, it almost felt like rape. She felt violated - forced to do something that she hated, and it had caused a major shift in how she viewed her family, her mother especially.

No longer the sweet, innocent little Kagome that everyone remembered, she felt old, and wizened... and a great deal less trusting.

She knew their reasoning - that she'd been losing her mind and was fast descending towards madness... but it didn't change how she felt. She had no use for the portion of soul that had been Kikyou - it was dark, and tainted, and was slowly causing darkness to swallow the rest of herself.

I wish I could just purify myself - hell, I managed to purify a hell of a lot of demons back in the past, but I can't even do it to myself to save myself from the darkness. Will I one day be swallowed by the same blackness that formed Naraku?

As far as Kagome was concerned, the blackness tainting her soul because of Kikyou was the same as Naraku's bleak, dark soul, and that made the two beings the same in her eyes.

Kikyou should have just given Inuyasha up, and gone with Onigumo when he wanted her to, Kagome thought angrily, her aura pulsing with a corresponding darkness at that.

And deep inside, where what was once Kikyou was housed, a wordless pulse of sorrow curled outwards...

When will I forgive myself? the specter of Kikyou wondered.

Will I ever find a way to do so?

---cCc---

A/N: And now we see that, despite the gains made in the last few chapters, there's still a major battle for sanity in Kagome's future. Things are looking up, but there's still darkness to deal with - the most difficult part of the battle is still to come for her... she has to figure out how to bring peace to herself. But first, she has to want peace for herself, and accept all parts of her soul.

Hope this chapter keeps everyone entertained...

Amber