InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken Fates ❯ Shards of Me ( Chapter 26 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 26: Shards of Me

Kagome stared out her window, knees drawn up and arms around herself protectively the day after her outing with Yasha and Shippo as her thoughts went round and round.

Hah. How the hell do I protect myself from something that's already inside me?

As the words of the song she was listening to filtered into her consciousness, she had to laugh inwardly, though it wasn't because she felt it was humorous.

It was ironic, and horrible.

Do I know the difference between myself and Kikyou? Hell, even Inuyasha couldn't figure it out... at least not until the end when he got rid of me. I guess he'd figured it out then, she thought, bitterly.

No matter that a lot of things were healing from what she'd gone through - she was still bitter about the end to her adventures - and the fact that she'd been forced to take back the bitch. And that was keeping her from fully closing the door on that past, and moving on.

She knew that... but she couldn't seem to figure out how to do anything about it.

Oh, she knew what everyone would say. 'Accept the part that's Kikyou back into yourself, forgive her, and move on'. She snorted. Easy enough for everyone else to say. But it wasn't that easy.

She didn't want to forgive this. She was tired of forgiving everything that everyone did to her. It was like saying that she had no validity, that it didn't matter what anyone did to her, because they were more important than she was.

Bottom line was, she was tired of forgiving Kikyou.

She'd forgiven that bitch over and over in the past - and look what it had gotten her.

Used, abused, and thrown aside like a worthless piece of garbage.

So where did that leave her?

Stuck.

Because she knew, deep down, that's what the kami wanted... they wanted her to, once again, just pass off what Kikyou had done to her, and what Inuyasha had done, as though it didn't matter, blithely wandering along all stupid and happy.

But it did matter. At least, to her, it did, even if the gods thought Kikyou and Inuyasha were more important than she was. She was tired of being everyones second best, their scapegoat... the one that got dumped on for every nasty thing that was going to happen.

Didn't she count for anything?

If you didn't, the gods wouldn't have given you Yasha, now would they? You need to stop acting sorry for yourself, and take me back. You won't know any peace until you do, that fractured piece of soul whispered into her mind.

Sorry for myself? she snarled. So what if I do feel sorry for myself? Not like it matters... you got what you wanted, didn't you? Inuyasha, with me gone, thrown back down the well and kicked back to the future so you could be happy. So why don't you leave me the hell alone?

Or is your final happiness dependent on me going insane?

Is that it? You won't be happy completely until I'm totally crazy - out and out destroyed? Just shut up and go away... too much more of this, and I'll be happy to kill myself and just get it over with. Then we can just go to hell and spend an eternity hating each other there...

As bad as she felt about even thinking something like that, it was, strictly speaking, the truth. She couldn't take much more of Kikyou's disgusting soul - and talking to her in her head was just starting to drive her crazy. And she couldn't even get away from it - not with it right inside her mind with her.

She sighed, and tightened her grip around herself.

I'm sorry, Yasha... maybe the only way to ever heal for me would be to die, and move on into the next life.

That might truly be the only way to ever fix this mess.

She shivered sadly as she hoped that it wouldn't come to that...

But she'd rather be dead than insane.

---cCc---

The first thoughts in Yasha's mind the next morning was, of course, about Kagome, and the worry he felt about her state of mind.

While he was overjoyed to finally be a couple, that wouldn't continue if she couldn't finish healing the division within her soul.

And that scared him - because even though it had only been two days, he was irrevocably entwined with her. If she didn't heal... if she didn't, and went crazy, or even died, he would lose his own sanity, as well.

Not something he wanted.

With a heavy heart, he got up and dressed for the day, then headed out into the kitchen looking for something to eat... and his mother, one last thought haunting him...

If this keeps up, I'm going to end up hating myself so much that I'll be just as badly off as Kagome - and all because I carry that bastard Inuyasha's soul. This whole mess is just one big circle jerk!

"Good morning, Yasha, sweetie," his mom said cheerfully as he stepped into the kitchen. Then she noticed his face, and her heart fell.

"Honey, what's wrong," she asked with concern, walking over to him and putting a loving hand on his arm.

He put his hand over hers, and squeezed a little, then dropped it, and sighed heavily, pulling away to sit down at the table. "Well... Shippo, me, and Kagome hung out yesterday, and things aren't looking so swell right now." He shook his head at her alarmed look. "No, she didn't break up with me, or anything even close - in fact, the time we spend together seems to make her happy... but... there's signs that things inside her are getting worse."

A frown touching her brow, she began moving around the kitchen getting his breakfast ready. After a moment, she asked, "What do you mean?"

"Shippo said that she's still rejecting that part of her soul that was Kikyou, and that because she hates that part of herself so much, her soul is beginning to taint itself. He said that her soul is fracturing into even more pieces than it was before, and if we don't figure out how to help her... well, it won't be good."

His eyes glossed with fear, and his hands clenched. "Mom... if she loses it... if anything happened to her - I... couldn't survive," he whispered. "She's too much a part of me..." he broke off, anguish in his voice.

His mother stopped cold, shocked, then hurried around the table to hug him to her. Gods... please don't say that, Yasha! I couldn't stand to lose you... "What do you think we should do?"

He reached up and clasped his mother's arms as they wrapped around his shoulders, his eyes still glassy with unshed tears, and blinked to keep them from falling.

"Shippo and I plan to talk to Sesshoumaru today... see what he thinks. Mika will probably be there, too. I... I love her, mom... and even though I feel so worried, and I'm honestly almost losing hope, I can't stop fighting, because I can't stand to lose her to insanity or death. I think... I think I'd almost rather her lose her memory permanently, even if it meant that we'd never be together, than see her die. But I don't think I can live without her," he finished, taking a deep, shuddering breath as he let the fear that was eating him alive out.

His mother just tightened her hold on him, praying to every kami she knew that they would find the way out of this mess without losing either of the two ill-fated souls that had endured so much. This young man in her arms might be the reincarnation of her husband's ancestor - but in the here and now, he was her son, and she couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

She was pretty sure that Higurashi-san felt the same way about Kagome.

"Whatever it takes, Yasha, you know your father and I are behind you one hundred percent. We'll do whatever we have to to make sure that you both make it through this, okay?"

Yasha nodded, glad that he had his parents to help him through this, because he knew he'd never make it alone.

This just hurt too much... he loved Kagome, and seeing her in such internal pain and confusion was almost more than he could bear.

They needed a break... a big one.

---cCc---

"Kagome, you have company!"

She jerked her head up from where it had been laying as she stared at her ceiling still lost in thoughts about her dilemma, and frowned. I wonder who it is? "Okay, I'll be down in a few," she called back.

Slipping a light sweater over her t-shirt, she pattered down the stairs and into the living room, stopping, startled, when she caught sight of her friends. Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi had apparently decided to converge on her... their presence was actually welcome at this point, thought, jerking her from her solemn and frightening thoughts.

"Hey, you guys," she said softly with a little smile. "What's up?"

The three girls exchanged looks, then Yuka said, "Well, we came over to see if you were doing anything... if not, we'd like to spend the day with you."

Kagome shook her head. "I wasn't planning to go anywhere today, and I think Yasha's busy," she mused.

Eri and the other two looked surprised. "Yasha?"

At that, Kagome blushed a bit, and nodded. "Yeah... ummm, he's my boyfriend," she said shyly.

Dead silence met that announcement.

Her blush deepened as the silence dragged on, and finally Ayumi spoke up. "Uhhh... boyfriend?"

Okay... this is awkward. "Yup. Boyfriend," she affirmed.

"So... when did this happen? And what about Houjo?" Eri asked.

Kagome scowled, and pinned her friends with a gimlet glare. "What about Houjo?" she asked. "I never liked him like that - you guys always tried to shove him down my throat, and never listened when I told you I didn't like him. And because of all that encouragement on you guys' part, he never managed to get the hint that I only wanted to be friends!"

She sighed when the three in front of her looked guilty. "Look... it's okay. It's in the past, and I think he's finally got the message - last time I saw him, he had some other girlfriend. And as for Yasha... well... there's just something strong there between us, and I'm happy when I'm with him. So can we just leave it there?"

Her friends all nodded. "Sure, Kagome," Yuka said. "And we're sorry we didn't listen about the Houjo thing," she grimaced. "I guess we were a bit pushy about it, weren't we?"

Ayumi flushed, and nodded, then asked, "So... will you hang out with us today?"

Kagome smiled at them. "Sure... what do you want to do?"

"The mall, of course," the three girls chorused together, and Kagome laughed wryly.

"Why did I even ask?" she asked rhetorically. "Just let me get my purse and tell my mom where we're going."

The three friends nodded and sat down to wait, still feeling a bit sheepish about the Houjo thing, but glad that Kagome wasn't going to hold it against them. They really had just wanted her to be happy - they'd just gone about it the wrong way.

It only took her a few minutes to get ready, and with a small smile, she followed her friends out of the house, though a pulse of pain hit her heart as they chattered; she really missed Sango so very much... they'd been so much closer than her friends here - apparently, when you regularly faced danger and death together, it bonded you very closely.

She'd never have that again, she was sure, and suddenly, she just wanted to cry.

She'd told Yasha that she would still have bad days - it looked like this was one of them.

Her head was still in the clouds as she stepped down from the last step onto the sidewalk, not paying much attention as her three companions carried on their discussion around her. That's probably why she didn't notice the car coming straight for her...

Until it was far, far too late.

---cCc---

Yasha and Shippo had just sat down with Sesshoumaru when he got the call, and both males watched, alarmed, as he turned absolutely white and sucked in a panicked breath.

"What?!" he choked out. "Where is she?"

He listened for a moment more, then hung up his phone, shock and fear clear in his gaze. "Kagome... she's been hit by a car - they've taken her to Tokyo Memorial," he managed to get out, and immediately, Sesshoumaru was up and out of the room, giving orders to get a car ready as Shippo grabbed the terrified hanyou and guided him from the room and out the front to wait on the car.

"This can't be happening," he whispered, heartsick.

"Who was that on the phone?" Shippo asked, his face pale as well.

"Her mom... Kagome's in a coma." His voice was monotone, weak - he was going into shock.

Shippo cursed inwardly as he watched his friend almost lose all will to live, his only thoughts obviously on getting to her as fast as possible. It was quite clear to both he and Sesshoumaru that if Kagome didn't make it...

He wouldn't either.

The next half hour, to those in the car, was the longest half hour they felt they'd ever lived through, and as the car delivered them to the emergency entrance of the hospital, they all three hurried through the doors as though every second was their last.

The moment they reached the waiting room, Kagome's mother was holding him, her face strained and fear-ridden as Souta and her grandfather just sat in the their seats, shell-shocked and unable to move.

Yasha could sympathize - he felt numb, as though his heart had already stopped beating... but he had to know. Pulling away, he guided her mother over to a chair, noting the three girls also sitting there.

"What the hell happened?" he almost begged, wanting this whole thing to be a nightmare.

Running a hand through already frazzled hair, her mother answered. "She was going with her friends to the mall, but when they got to the bottom of the shrine steps, apparently, a driver lost control of her car and hit her - Kagome didn't get out of the way in time."

One of the girl's spoke before Yasha could say anything. "I don't think that driver lost control," she hissed viciously. "I'd swear in court she aimed at Kagome!"

A sudden frisson of ice went down Yasha's spine, and his heart almost stopped. "What did the woman look like?" he asked.

Shippo shot him a wide-eyed look. "You don't think..." he trailed off, and Yasha swore, his fists clenching.

"I don't know, Shippo!"

Eri, the one who'd spoken, narrowly eyed him. "Yasha - she said you are her boyfriend." The male nodded, and she asked, "Why do you want to know what the woman looked like? Is there something we should know about?"

"There's this girl - she's been stalking and harassing me, and Kagome had a run-in with her the other day... threatened her with certain consequences if she didn't leave us alone," he said, avoiding Sesshoumaru's suddenly intense gaze. "I don't know if she'd go this far, but..." he trailed off, and Aiko looked horrified at the notion that someone could do something like this on purpose.

Sesshoumaru stood, his sudden gesture for Yasha to follow a demand; Yasha immediately got up and followed him - one did not argue with the daiyoukai unless you planned on dying.

"A name."

He didn't need to say more - Yasha didn't even ask. "Takeshi, Akina."

"Human, or youkai?" was his next question.

"Youkai."

Sesshoumaru's eyes were ice - it was clear that the Takeshi's were about to have their lives ruined if it turned out their daughter was at fault. "This one will find out if it was this Akina - if it was, her and her family will rue the day she was born." It was a promise, and Yasha shuddered - the girl had better hope she hadn't been involved.

The daiyoukai turned on his heel and led the way back to the waiting room, then looked at Eri. "Describe the woman," he demanded, and the girl didn't even think of arguing - whoever this male was, he commanded, and everyone else complied.

As soon as she started speaking, Yasha paled again, and nodded at his uncle - it sounded like her.

"When you learn anything about Kagome's condition, call me." Then he turned and disappeared out the doors.

Eyes wide, Eri and her friends looked at Yasha and Shippo. "Who was that?"

Yasha was too lost in his guilt by that time to even notice, so Shippo answered. "That was Taisho, Sesshoumaru - Yasha's uncle."

The three gasped, eyes wide in shocked disbelief. Everyone knew that name - he was one of the richest and most powerful men in Japan, and that Kagome was linked with that family in any capacity was stunning to the three girls.

Yuka looked at Yasha. "You really care about her, don't you?" she asked, sympathy evident in her voice.

He looked up at her, heartsick, and nodded, grief clear in his eyes. "Yeah... you could say that."

Shippo looked at Aiko, a question clear in his gaze. She answered. "We don't know anything more than that's she's in a coma... we're still waiting for information."

"What did the police have to say"

She shook her head. "Just that the driver claimed she felt ill and then passed out, losing control of her car. I think she was taken for observation to another hospital." She glanced at the suddenly venomous looking girls, and finished, "I think they were worried that if she was brought here... someone might cause trouble."

Mutinously, the three exchanged glances, and Ayumi finally piped up, her usually gentle voice like steel. "There would have been, too. I don't care what that bitch said... she deliberately went after Kagome. I saw her face - she was staring straight at her with a really hateful look. She knew what she was doing."

Shippo glanced at Aiko, then looked down at a silent and slumped Yasha.

This had just gotten a whole hell of a lot worse.

---cCc---

A/N: I bet no one saw that coming! We'll see more of what that nasty little witch Akina was thinking next chapter - when Sesshoumaru gets his claws into her and her family.

Enjoy!

Amber