InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken people ❯ We are who we are ( Chapter 4 )

She lay staring at the wall across from her, willing herself to fall back asleep. Her dreams had been so beautiful, filled with memories of her laughing mother and her trickster little brother. Then she awoke to a flood of harsh realities that collided with body and forced her backwards, but she didn't fall. She felt strong arms wrap tighter around her mourning body.

 

She sank back into welcome comfort as he stirred behind her.

 

“Hi” his voice was rough with sleep.

 

“Hi” hers was small and unsure.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“Dirty.” Her tone was flat and he was concerned as to her meaning.

 

“Wha?”

 

“I'm covered in graveyard dirt. I'm sorry if I got you dirty too.” His face brightened and he had to suppress the laugh that threatened to creep from his throat.

 

“Oh well I guess I should leave and let you shower and whatever....” he tried so hard to hide the disappointment in his voice, but let a small amount slip.

 

She suddenly felt panicked

 

“No!....I mean I guess if you have places to be...”

 

“ I'll stick around if you want....”

 

“Oh, well umm....okay....I mean....if you've got nothing better to do”

 

He smiled though she couldn't see it.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

She rose from the bed and he instantly felt the loss of her warmth against him. She smoothed out her much wrinkled dress and tried to compose her disheveled appearance.

 

“Ummm I think I'm gonna take a shower, do you mind?”

 

“No not at all. I'll just wait downstairs.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The water was hot enough to scald; she wanted to wash away any remnants of that dreadful graveyard. She wished she could wash away her desolation.

 

Her hands desperately scrubbed the wash cloth against every inch of her skin until it was raw and painful.

 

The radio on the counter played classic rock, her mother's favorite station. As soon as the song began her muscles tensed, and her chest tightened. `Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try....' That song..... `No hell below us, above us only sky...'

 

Unwelcome memories flooded her overwhelmed mind.

 

Crash. The sickening sounds of metal colliding with metal, of brothers colliding with glass, of a mother's heart colliding with hell. She could see her brother's soul leaving his body; she could see her mother's will leave with it.

 

Her abused skin collided with cool tile. She was vaguely aware that she was screaming, though not aware that she was still in her shower. She did not see the familiar blue shower curtain or the wide array of shampoos and soaps. She saw her brother's casket, she saw her mother's shattered heart, she saw an empty hospital bed.

 

Inuyasha burst through the bathroom door and ripped the shower curtain right off of its rings. He saw her crumpled on the floor like a wounded animal. She looked terrified, like she was in another place, a horrible place. He knelt down beside her, the water still running, took hold of her shoulders and shook her, trying to get her to recognize his presence.

 

“Kagome! Kagome! Look at me, come back to me, please!!”

 

Her screaming stopped as she seemed to realize where she was. She looked up at him and then around, her eyes wide.

 

“Kagome.” His voice was heavy with concern and fright.

 

“Oh god....I....I...”

 

“Shh shhh, its okay. Come on.” he turned off the water and reached for a nearby towel, wrapping her in it.

 

He led her into her bedroom and sat her on the bed. She sat stiffly, still not completely lucid. He searched around her room for some clothes, and daftly attempted to dress the poor shaking girl. As he helped her into a pair of pink shorts she looked at him as though she was only just now seeing him there.

 

“I'm sorry.” Her voice was small, and her head low.

 

“Silly girl, why should you be sorry?” his voice was soft, as though he were talking to a lost child trying to find his mother.

 

“You're wet.”

 

“Heh, its okay I needed a shower.” She tried to smile, but couldn't. She began to think that she had lost the ability to smile. Maybe even to be anything but painfully sad.

 

With out saying a word she left the room only to return a moment later with what looked like red pajamas.

 

“These are some of my dad's old clothes that my mom never threw away, you can wear them if you want.” He could hear the apology in her voice, and the pleading in her eyes.

 

“Thanks.” He smiled at her warmly as she left him in her bedroom to change.

 

He emerged downstairs a few moments later wearing the white t-shirt and red pajama pants that she had offered him. The shirt made it painfully obvious how handsome he really was, but she wouldn't allow herself to appreciate it.

 

He sat down at the table and watched her as she mechanically moved around the kitchen.

 

“I'm sorry; the only food I've got is Ramen I hope that's okay.”

 

“Ramen happens to be my favorite food ever.” His smile let her know that he was actually serious about his statement.

 

They ate in a companionable silence, neither feeling the need to fill the empty air with meaningless chit chat.

 

She took his bowl with her own and put them in the sink. They went into the den and sat on the same blue sofa that had taunted her the night before. He needed to know.

 

“Why were you screaming in the shower?” his question was soft and cautious.

 

She looked away from him, trying to hide the pained look on her face. She could not deny him, he was her savior, and he deserved to know who he had saved.

 

“That song....that song was playing in the car when we crashed and my brother died. It kept playing even after the car had stopped and his head was through the windshield. I just....hearing it hurts.”

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

She looked up at him and met his eyes, amber pools of sincerity and understanding.

 

“Thank you,” She entered through his eyes and kissed his soul “for everything.”

 

He was amazed by her, how she reached to him, and how he reached back.

 

She spoke softly, and he had to strain to hear her words. “Tell me....about your mother.”

 

He was startled at first; no one ever asked him about his mother. He was never really inclined to speak about her, it was hard for him, and he didn't like to be vulnerable in front of others. But he wanted so badly to talk about her; it made her seem more real, more like the person he had been raised by and not a fading memory. That was why he went to the graveyard every week, he was afraid that if he didn't he might forget her.

 

Kagome watched the myriad of emotions play across his face, worried. His eyes softened when he noticed her anxiety, happy that she cared.

 

“She was beautiful, gracious, intelligent, and resourceful. She raised me to be strong and independent, but also to care about others....even if they don't care about you.”

 

Kagome noticed the flash of anger at the last part of his statement, though he quickly recovered. She placed her hand on his as a sign to continue. He was not used to such tenderness, and he nearly pulled away, but he remembered who this girl was and what they had already been through.

 

“She was my father's second wife, his first wife died when Sesshomaru was ten. Sesshomaru is my half-brother. He always hated my mother, and in turn resented me for being born. We've never gotten along; he didn't even attend my mother's funeral or say any kind of condolence.”

 

He was visibly shaking in anger. Kagome squeezed his hand and moved closer to him.

 

“What is your favorite memory of her?” Her tone was gentle, as his had been before.

 

His face softened.

 

“She loved her garden, especially her prize-winning orchids, when I was little I use to help her dig and plant new seeds. I loved getting dirty and muddy. She use to tell me that I had a magic green thumb and that I was the reason that her orchids grew so beautiful.”

 

He smiled at the memory; it was almost as if he could still hear her voice.

 

“That's beautiful; she sounds like an amazing woman.”

 

Inuyasha smiled at her and she smiled back, for the first time. `What a beautiful smile, I'm glad that I finally got to see it.'

 

They spent the rest of the day talking about everything, everything except Kagome's mother. He had asked her about the woman, but Kagome wasn't ready to confront her mother's ghost, yet.

 

They talked about music and movies, food and friends. She told him about her best friend Sango, and he told her about his best friend and now room mate Miroku.

 

He told her things that he had never told anyone else before, he trusted her with his heart. She laughed for the first time in two years, she only smiled for him.

 

It was as if their souls had recognized each other the moment they met. They both felt it, how could you not?

 

He slept by her side for the next two days, refusing to part with the other half of his soul. She grew accustomed to his soothing aura and warm embrace. They were so close, and yet hadn't kissed since that first night. She was afraid he would reject her again, and he was afraid of taking advantage of her.

 

She awoke to the sun in her eyes and cursed the offending light. He just buried his face in her hair, trying to block out everything but her smell.

 

“Hi.” His voice was muffled by her neck, and she giggled at the tickly feeling of his breath.

 

“Hi.”

 

“I think I need to go home today.”

 

“Wha??” she flipped around to look at him, panicked.

 

“I can't wear your father's pajamas forever; I think I'm beginning to smell.”

 

“No your not, I like the way you smell.” She smiled at him and he almost melted.

 

“You can come with me! Yea, I'd really like you to meet Miroku.” She laughed at his child-like excitement.

 

“Ok, I guess that would be ok......are you going to stay there?”

 

“Uhm, I hadn't thought about that......do you want me to stay there?”

 

“No.” her answer was simple and honest, but it made him feel bubbly inside.

 

“Okay. Well come on lady, lets get to going.” He had found several ways to make her laugh, for it was the sweetest form of music to him, and his cheesy cowboy accent was on top of the list.

 

“Alright, partner.”

~~~~~~~~~

 

As soon as they walked into the apartment, they were bombarded by a very unhappy Miroku.

 

“Inuyasha! Where have you been?? It has been three days since I last saw you, and why the hell haven't you been answering your cell phone and further more you forgo........oh why hellllllo.” His eyes took on an all too familiar glow.

 

“Don't even think about it Miroku, I mean it.” His tone was deadly serious causing Miroku to instantly straighten up and avert his eyes away from the beautiful girl's breasts.

 

“This is my room mate, and serious pervert Miroku.”

 

“Hi, I'm Kagome. It's nice to meet you.”

 

“Very nice to meet you too.” He took her hand and kissed it, only to receive a growl of warning from Inuyasha. He had become very protective of Kagome these past few days, and she of him.

 

Inuyasha led Kagome to his room and shut the door behind him, ignoring all of Miroku's questions, and protests.

 

“Sorry, I know its messy but we just moved in.” he was embarrassed by the pile of dirty laundry, that was slowly growing into a mountain, on the floor. She just giggled and said something about young bachelors being pigs.

 

She looked around his room and found it to be sparse, bare walls and cardboard boxes. A picture on top of his dresser caught her eye.

 

“Is this your mother?” she went closer to get a better look.

 

“Huh? Oh yea, that's when she was pregnant with me.”

 

“She's beautiful.” He could only smile, not knowing how to respond.

 

“Don't you have any pictures of you, or your friends?”

 

“Nah, I don't photograph well.” he was trying to busy himself with tidying up, or just blatantly shoving things under his bed.

 

“I bet that's not true. No one thinks they photograph well.”

 

“I bet you photograph well.” He smiled even wider when she blushed at the compliment.

 

“No comment.”

 

“What, you honestly don't know how beautiful you are?” she turned away from him to hide her flushed appearance.

 

“Come on.” He egged her on.

 

“No, I don't know how beautiful I am. What do you consider beautiful anyways? Is beautiful losing your virginity at fifteen because some `hot guy' thought you were pretty? Is beautiful doing unspeakable things to hide from reality? Is beautiful resenting your dead brother for taking your mother away?” Her tone went from playful to sorrowful in a manner of seconds.

 

“I'm sorry, that was stupid, I didn't mean to get all dramatic on you like that.” She was still facing away from him, only now it was to hide her tears.

 

“Hey. Hey, look at me.” He turned her around by her shoulders and lifted her chin so that she was looking into his eyes, eyes that would never lie to her.

 

“You are beautiful because of who you are, not because of what you've done. What does the past matter? We can't change it, we can't go back. We are who we are, and I love who you are.”

 

Her eyes widened at his declaration, fat tears leaking from her heart.

 

“How can you say that? You've only known me for a few days. How could you love me?”

 

“Because, I've told you things that I have never told anyone, including my mother. I've never trusted anyone the way I trust you. I've never let myself be vulnerable in front of anyone; I know that you would never betray me. I can see it in your beautiful sad eyes. You have brought out things in me that I didn't even know existed, you make me happy, happier than I have ever felt. You've made me feel things I never expected to feel. I know that I've only known you for a short time, but in that time I have.....I have.......fallen in love with you.”

 

She stared at him, gob smacked, speechless.

 

“Can you honestly tell me that you don't feel it? Feel something??”

 

She couldn't compose the words, she wanted to tell him yes, yes she did feel it.....but she was scared. What if she lost him too? Could she survive another loss like that?

 

“I.....I....”

 

The room began to spin, and it suddenly got hot. Her mind was racing with a million different scenarios, with a million different ways she loved him back. It was too much, too overwhelming. So she fainted.....

 

“Shit!” he caught her before she came anywhere near the floor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Her eyes fluttered open as she tried to figure out where she was. She surveyed the room....dirty clothes, boxes, bare walls.....oh right.....

 

“Hi there.” She jumped at the sudden break in silence.

 

“Uh...hi.”

 

“You passed out.”

 

“I did? Oh.”

 

He didn't say anymore, just continued to stare at the ceiling from his lying position next to her on the bed.

 

“Inuyasha?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I....just wanted to tell you....I mean...that is to say.....well...I feel it too.....a lot.” She turned to face him; he turned to face her, smiling.

 

“Really?” she nodded unsurely.

 

They lay that way for a few minutes, before he could no longer contain himself. He leaned over her and kissed her; chaste and loving, a declaration of their lips.