InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the supporting characters.

Alright, I'm pissed. I finished writing half of this and saved it (MULTIPLE TIMES) and then exited the page... Well, it didn't save, so I had to rewrite it and the first half is no where near as good as it was. Ugghhhh

CW: I don't want to fully give it away since it's a big part of the chapter, but just remember that this story is DARK and meant for adults only!

Broken

Chapter 5

The next morning, Kagome woke up and sat up in bed. Immediately, she covered her mouth with her hands and jumped up to rush to the bathroom

'Not again!'

Inuyasha's eyes snapped open from his spot under her bedroom window. He smelled the start of sickness as soon as Kagome rushed out of the bedroom. He quickly jumped up and followed her. When he went into the bathroom, Kagome was crouched over the toilet, heaving and throwing up the dinner from the night before. He walked over to her and sat on the edge of the bathtub. He pulled her hair back and held it for her as her sickness began to fade.

When she was finished, she fell backwards and leaned her head on Inuyasha's knee.

"Are ya alright, Kagome?"

Kagome nodded her head as she tried to calm her accelerated heart rate and heavy breathing. "H-hai. You... You're sure I'm not...?"

Inuyasha started to rub circles on Kagome's back as she rested against him. "Keh. Definitely not. You ain't smell like any kind of sickness either. Just a bunch of emotions."

Kagome sighed as she nodded her head and stood up shakily. "I'm going to take a shower and brush my teeth. You can wait for me downstairs, alright?"

"Keh. Hurry up, woman. I know how obsessed you are with your bathing." He smirked at her, causing a small smile from her. She nodded her head as he walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

After he left, her shoulders slumped forward. She doesn't know why she is getting sick or why her period is late, but she trusts Inuyasha's nose. So she isn't going to think the worst, although something must be going on that she isn't aware of.

She allowed those thoughts to slowly fade away as she got undressed and turned the hot water on in the shower. She relieved her bladder before she brushed her teeth thoroughly and rinsed with mouthwash. She stepped into the shower and continued with her daily routine. She scrubbed herself as much as possible, making sure every single spot is clean. She knows Inuyasha said she doesn't smell like him... but she can't seem to get herself to stop doing this. It just makes her feel less... dirty.

She sat on the edge of the tub and grabbed her razer to shave. When she was finished with that, she had a small flashback of how it felt to dig into her skin. How she was mesmerized by the blood that oozed from the wounds and dripped into the tub. She brought her shaky hand to the back of her lower leg and was about to cut herself when she heard a voice.

"Kagome? Are ya almost done? You're mom said breakfast is ready."

'Inuyasha...'

She looked at the razer in her hand and gave it a disgusted face. She threw it to the other end of the tub and allowed a single tear to fall. Luckily, Inuyasha won't be able to scent her tears over the shower water.

"Uh... I'll be out in a minute." She called back to him in return. She heard his footsteps as he walked away and she sighed as she put her head in her hands.

'Who am I? Who have I become?' Her eyes closed tightly as unwanted memories forced their way in.

Kagome fisted the sheets below her as she started to drip more and more in need. "Yes! Kami, I need you to fill me up, Naraku.  Please!  Please give it to me, my love!"

She held her hands in her head harder and shook it side to side, trying to get the memories of him out of her mind. Of that particular memory.

But she couldn't stop it.

"As you wish, my beautiful little Miko." He slammed himself as deep as he could go and immediately fucked her hard and fast.

Kagome screamed in pleasure as she finally got what she wanted. "Yes yes yes yes!" Each thrust from him, earned another 'yes' from her.

Soon, Kagome's walls spasmed around his throbbing cock, causing him to release his seed deep into her womb. She screamed his name as she came.

"No!" She screamed loudly as her eyes snapped open in horror. Her heart is racing and her breath is coming in shallow gasps.

She needed the memories to stop. She needed everything to stop. She glanced at the razer and grabbed it quickly without a second thought. She sat down in the bottom of the tub and held it up to her throat.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha..." She mumbled just before she dug into the side of her neck and started to slice herself.

In that moment, Inuyasha knocked the door down.

When he had heard Kagome yell, he ran upstairs and then as soon as he was about to knock, he smelled her blood. He kicked the door down immediately.

He rushed forward and smacked the razer out of Kagome's hand, not caring where it went. He sighed in relief when he noticed she only cut herself slightly before he got to her, but she is still bleeding a fair amount.

"Kagome! You fucking idiot!"

Neither of them cared about her state of undress. Inuyasha lifted her up under her knees and behind her back before he ran her to her bedroom.

Mrs. Higurashi was coming their way when she heard the yelling and gasped when she saw Inuyasha carrying her naked daughter away. Although she knew nothing inconspicuous was happening, especially when she saw the hollow look in Kagome's eyes and the blood dripping from her throat.

Mrs. Higurashi stood in Kagome's doorway with her hands to her face, tears falling freely.

Inuyasha sat Kagome on the edge of the bed and wrapped her naked body up in a blanket to keep her modestly in tact. He turned her head to the side to check the wound and winced at how much she was bleeding. If he was only a few seconds later...

He shook his head of those thoughts and looked her in the eyes. "Why?"

Kagome looked at him, but there was no emotion in her usually bright eyes. She chuckled darkly and shook her head.

"What's the point? I can't forget. I can't stop the memories. I can't make it go away. I'm just a fucking used and dirty good for nothing whore. Kikyo made the biggest mistake she could have by saving my life and sacrificing hers."

Inuyasha had unshed tears in his eyes as she spoke to him. She used language he has never heard from her before. She hurt herself. She tried to kill herself. Maybe it was a mistake to not tell her about them being mates. He shook his head and decided to worry about that later. He turned when Mrs. Higurashi stepped forward to hand him a medical kit. He grabbed it and sat it on the bed next to Kagome.

"Mrs. Higurashi... my saliva can heal her."

Kagome's mother looked at the blank look in Kagome's eyes and the worried look in Inuyasha's. "Do what you need to, dear."

Inuyasha nodded his head as he turned Kagome's neck backwards to bare her throat to him. In other circumstances, his demon would be growling to mark her. But even that part of him is whining to protect his mate. He leaned his face forward and licked the wound clean. He made sure to get all of the blood and allow his saliva to close the wound.

After a few moments of this, he pulled away and looked at his work. All that remains is a slight red mark, barely a scratch.

Mrs. Higurashi heard footsteps approaching from out in the hall. "I'm going to make sure Souta gets ready for school and then I'll distract Jii-chan. If you can get her to speak, please help her." A few more tears fell before she left her daughter in good hands.

Inuyasha looked back into Kagome's eyes and saw that she was just staring off into space. "Kagome..."

She looked at him but didn't acknowledge his existence. He pulled her into a hug and whined lightly in Inu. When he pulled away, he looked at her sadly before standing and going to her clothes drawers. He knew Kagome would be embarrassed about this later, but she needs help and he is her mate. It's his job to take care of her... Even if she doesn't know it yet.

He grabbed some gray sweat pants and a green t-shirt. He grabbed a pair of undies, but he doesn't understand how the bra thing works, so he left that where it was. He went back to where Kagome is sitting completely still and crouched back down in front of her.

"I'm gonna help ya get dressed, alright? Don't sit me."

Kagome finally looked like she could understand a little of what is going on when he mentioned the word 'sit,' but looked away from his gaze.

Inuyasha sighed as he pulled the blanket off of her body. He noticed she was still dripping wet from her shower so he decided to just use the blanket to dry her the rest of the way before putting the clothes on her.

"Can ya lift your arms for me, koibito?"

Kagome's head snapped to the side to stare into his golden eyes. She dumbly nodded her head before she lifted her arms up for him. She allowed him to slip the t-shirt over her, pulling her arms through the holes and down over her head.

Once her shirt was on, he lifted her left leg up and slipped her foot inside one of the holes to her panties. He did the same with the other side and slipped it up her thighs. He didn't pull it up all the way, just allowed it to stay above her knees as he helped her feet into her sweat pants.

He stood up and pulled her up by her hands to stand with him. He crouched down and pulled the rest of her undies and sweat pants up her body. He was careful not to touch her in any way inappropriately as he helped get her clothes on the rest of the way.

Inuyasha fully stood before her and moved a strand of her raven locks from her face to behind her ear. "I think we gotta have a talk, Kagome."

Kagome watched him silently. She doesn't want to talk. She doesn't want to feel. But his voice is making it harder and harder for her to stay locked away within herself. The more she hears him, the more she feels. Unbidden tears came to her eyes as her bottom lip trembled.

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head under his chin as she began to cry. Kagome hugged him around his waist and cuddled her face into his chest.

"I'm so sorry... I don't know what's wrong with me... I don't feel normal, Inu..."

Inuyasha released his mate rumble and kissed the top of her head. He pulled back and looked down into her tear filled brown eyes before walking to her bedroom window. He opened it up and then turned back and picked her up bridal style. She didn't argue with any of his movements, she trusts him no matter what.

He jumped out of the window, his precious cargo tucked within his grasp, and then jumped up into the high branches of the Goshinboku. He carefully spun her around to have her straddle his lap before he cupped her left cheek with his right hand and placed his left hand on the small of her back.

"Kagome... there is somethin' you need to know. I should'a told ya months ago."

Kagome stared deep into his golden gaze as she fisted the front of his Suikan in her hands. Her heart is fluttering within her chest and her eyes are widened just slightly.

'No... He can't tell me he loves me now... He can't be with me, not now...'

Inuyasha rested his forehead against hers for just a moment as he breathed in her scent. "Kagome... I-"

"No..." Kagome mumbled to cut him off.

He looked back into her eyes and cocked his head to the side. She tried to ignore how cute he is in this moment. She can't allow this to happen. She just... She can't, not anymore.

"No?" Inuyasha's voice sounded confused and slightly hurt.

"Inuyasha..." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in before letting it out slowly and opening her eyes back up. "Don't tell me anything. Please, we... we need to stay how things are..."

Inuyasha growled as he cupped both of her cheeks with both of his hands. "You don't understand, woman." When she didn't respond, he continued. "When an Inuyoukai meets their destined mate... they know immediately by scent. I've known since the second I first took in your scent, that you were mine."

Kagome's eyes widened and she blushed slightly. "Wh-what? Y-you thought I was Kikyo! Did we have the same scent?"

He can smell the hurt tainting her delicious fragrance as she said that, making him growl once again. "No, you baka. I mistook you for Kikyo when I first saw you. I knew you weren't her as soon as I actually took in your scent for the first time... before you even released me from the damned tree... You're scent... It was intoxicating. My demon called out to mate you and I had to hold myself back."

Kagome, still surprised by what he is saying, continued to try and argue. "B-but, you tried to kill me..."

Inuyasha leaned forward to nuzzle her neck with his nose. Kagome's heart rate picked up even further as he became more loving towards her.

"I missed on purpose... I was tryin' to scare ya, not kill ya. You should know by now, my clumsy little Miko..." He pulled back to look into her eyes. "I don't miss."

Kagome's eyes widened even further as she searched his golden orbs for the truth. Then another thought occured to her.

"I-if your youkai knew right away... then what about your human heart? What about your love for Kikyo?"

He sighed as he released her cheeks to grab one of her hands in his. He held it to his chest, right where his heart beats only for her.

"I was confused, at first. Fifty years had gone by for everyone else but me. It was as if it had only just happened. I was angry and hurt and wanted nothin' to do with the woman who looked like the one I thought had betrayed me." He watched the emotions play out on her face as be spoke. "I hurt you and I was an asshole because I needed to push ya away. My youkai was going crazy, but my human heart wouldn't allow me to get too close." He paused for just a second as he took a deep breath in. "Then the night of the New Moon happened."

Kagome whispered, "The Spider Heads..."

Inuyasha nodded as he brought her hand to his cheek and nuzzled it lovingly. "You cried for me. You protected me. You didn't leave me when you realized I was just a useless human who couldn't protect ya. I have known since that night, Kagome... My human heart fell in love with you just as hard as my youkai half did."

Kagome couldn't stop the tears that fell. The words she has wanted to hear for so long, have finally been spoken... and she is more confused now then ever.

She looked down at her hand in his and murmured. "I'm not the same Kagome I was back then, Inuyasha. I'm... I'm tainted... I'm broken..."

Inuyasha lifted her face by the chin and studied her eyes for a moment before giving her a small smile. "You are anything but tainted. You didn't ask to be taken away from us. That ain't your fault. Please, as your true mate... let me help heal the wounds in your heart." He moved the hand he was holding to rest on his chest and put his own on hers, feeling her heart beat within. He leaned forward just slightly, their lips a breath apart. "I love you, Kagome."

Kagome slowly moved her hands to around his neck and breathed in deep. 'Even after everything... He loves me? Would he still love me knowing what really happened?' She studied his eyes for any sign of a lie and she found only love and admiration. Her eyes began to burn with unshed tears. 'I... I still love him...'

She noticed he wasn't moving any closer. He is allowing her to make the choice. To make the first move. Her heart clenched as she thought about everything they have been through together. She loves him more than the air she breathes. If she could just be with him... Maybe she would really want to live... Maybe if she could feel his love... she won't want to end it anymore...

She leaned in just enough to barely brush her lips against his as she spoke softly. "I love you too, Inuyasha." Then her eyes fluttered shut as she fully closed the distance between them, feeling his soft and moist lips press firmly against hers.

Inuyasha's heart swelled as he closed his eyes and tasted Kagome for the second time. The only other time was in Kaguya's castle, but this is so much more. He moved his clawed hands forward, his right hand grasping the back of her neck as his left hand settles on the small of her back. He moved his lips a little more insistently against hers, causing her to let out a tiny moan.

Kagome kept her left hand around his neck as her right slowly moved to the top of his head. She lightly stroked the inside of his left ear, elicitating a pleasured gasp from him. She decided to be a little bolder and snaked her tongue into his mouth, swallowing his gasp. She rubbed his ear lightly between the tips of her fingers as her tongue began to explore his mouth to the fullest. She licked along his fangs, causing him to groan and her to moan. Then she went in further and curled her tongue around his.

Kami, the taste of him is like nothing she has ever tasted before. If she thought his scent was good, this is so much better. She was slightly jealous of his demon genes, obviously making to where he doesn't need to brush his teeth or hair to stay completely healthy and perfect. She moaned once again as his tongue swirled against hers.

Inuyasha pulled her closer by the back of the neck to deepen the kiss further. He loved the feeling of her fingers on his ear and her tongue in his mouth. He groans as Kagome accidentally rocked against his body.

Kagome felt something harden beneath her, causing her to gasp and quickly pull away. Inuyasha's face is extremely red as he looks at her with wide and frightened eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her or make her think of Naraku...

"Kuso... Kagome... I... I'm sorry..."

Kagome pulled her hand away from his ear to grasp at her racing heart. She took a calming breath in before speaking. "It... It's okay, Inuyasha..."

Inuyasha let out a relieved breath and gave her one of the biggest smiles she has ever seen from him. "Does this mean... You really are my fiancé now?"

Kagome watched as his cute ears perked up and his eyes sparkled brightly. She smiled, a true and happy smile for the first time in what feels like forever. "I don't know, Inuyasha. Are you planning on marrying me?"

Inuyasha's smile turned into his usual confident smirk as he kissed her on the nose. He chuckled slightly when she blushed. "Whatever you want, Kagome. We can get married here for your family and in my time with our friends. I ain't gonna make you do anything ya don't want. As soon as you're ready, we can get married and complete the mate bond."

Kagome blushed slightly and nodded slowly before she spoke. "What... what exactly is required to complete the mate bond?"

Inuyasha nuzzled her neck, enjoying her fragrance before he pulled back to respond. "When we... uh... mate..." They both blushed as she nodded her head. "I'll have to bite you." He scented the small spike of fear. He cupped her cheek and looked at her worriedly. "What's wrong, Kagome?"

Kagome looked away from him as she spoke quietly. "After he stopped... using the drug... he would bite and scratch me if... if I tried to fight him off..."

Inuyasha growled lightly as he turned her face to look back at him. "I promise you, I will never hurt you, Kagome. I won't do it until you tell me you're ready."

Kagome nodded her head in understanding as she continued with her curiosity. "Wh-what else?"

He rested his forehead to hers and sighed contentedly. "I would bite you to mark you as mine and you can bite me to mark me as yours. The marks would tell any youki and reiki users that we are taken."

Kagome pulled back to look into his eyes and gave him a small smile and a nod of her head to let him know to keep going.

He was reluctant to tell her this next part because of what she had just tried to do. He took a deep breath in and decided to let her know the most important part of the mating. "After the mating is complete... y-you would gain my lifespan. Um... and if I were to die, so would you... Which means, if you were to die... I would follow soon after..."

Kagome took a moment to allow that new information to sink in. She wants to be with him. She loves him and has wanted this for as long as she can remember. She feels as though being with him can help heal her in ways she would never be able to do on her own. After thinking it over, she spoke.

"Inuyasha... I... I love you... but... I think that I need to wait until after Nar- he is dead. I... I need to heal. I need to be the Kagome you told me you fell in love with. I can't promise to become your mate or wife until I..." She sighed as she cupped his cheek lovingly. "What I can promise is that I will do everything I can to get better. I'll become the Kagome you loved for you and for me. Then once I am me again... yes... I will become your wife, your mate, yours forever. One thing that will never change within my heart, is my love for you."

When she finished her little speech, she leaned in and kissed him softly. Inuyasha wrapped his arms fully around her waist and allowed his mate rumble to engulf her. When she pulled away and locked her gaze with his, he smiled warmly at her.

"I promise you, koibito... We will kill the bastard. He was dead the second he put his filthy hands on you." He nuzzled his face back into the crook of her neck and purred lightly. "I promised to protect you, Kagome." He pulled back and cupped her cheek once again, stroking it softly with the pad of his thumb. "I ain't gonna break it."

Tears in her eyes, she lifts her hand to lightly scratch the base of his ear. "I love you, Inuyasha."

He moved his face closer to hers and whispered against her lips. "I love you too, Kagome."

Then they both met half way and reconnected their lips in a slow but passionate kiss. Kagome sighed against his mouth, feeling happier than she could remember feeling in such a long time. This little bit of hope she has now, it may just be enough to keep on living. To keep trying. As long as she has Inuyasha's warm embrace and his calming scent along with his soft lips... she can... she will keep going. For him and for herself.

'Inuyasha...' Tears formed in the corner of her eyes as she continued to move her lips slowly and sensually against his. 'Thank you...'

°•°•°

After about an hour just relaxing in the tree together, Kagome reluctantly said they should get inside. Her grandfather was working in the shrine and her brother was already at school, so she needed to speak to her mother.

Inuyasha gave her a chaste kiss before holding her tightly and jumping from the Goshinboku down to the ground. He quickly jumped up to the roof and then into Kagome's bedroom window without the old man noticing.

When they made it inside, he let her down and that's when Kagome remembered how she ended up in these clothes. She blushed as she looked away from him.

Inuyasha could smell her embarrassment and uneasiness so he grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Kagome looked down at her clothes and back up at him. She knew he understood when his face turned redder then hers. He waved his hands in front of his face as his ears plastered down to his head.

"I promise I didn't touch or look at ya, Kagome! I was only tryin' to help..."

Kagome sighed as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you..."

Inuyasha nuzzled his face against her cheek and put his arms around her waist, holding her close. "We may not have completed the bond, Kagome... but you are still my mate. I would be a bad mate if I didn't take care of ya."

Kagome pulled back and stared in his eyes, her own eyes filling with tears. "Inuyasha... is that why you always hunted for me and found places to bathe? You were taking care of me as a mate?"

Inuyasha blushed but nodded his head. "I may have also scent marked you..."

Kagome's blush returned with a vengeance as her eyes widened. "Nani!?"

He chuckled awkwardly as he explained. "W-well, I always carry ya around and make sure my scent is all over ya..." He looked away and mumbled the next part. "Baka ookami kuso ignored my claim anyway..."

What he didn't expect was what came next. Kagome laughed. Not one of her hollow laughs he has been hearing since they first rescued her, but a true and happy Kagome laugh. He was too stunned to do anything. He just allowed the moment to pass by.

Kagome looked up amusedly into his eyes. "You canines just have to mark your territory, don't you?" He smiled down at her, just enjoying her happiness. "I swear Inuyasha, if you pee on me, I'll S-I-T you straight to hell."

His amusement ended as he growled. "Oi! I ain't an actual dog, woman!"

Kagome's smile was bright as she reached up to stroke his furry ear. "No, but you are my Inu hanyou." She whispered as she pulled him down to her lips.

A few seconds later, they heard a hesitant knock on the door. "Kagome? May I come in?"

Kagome pulled back from her hanyous lips and took a moment to steel herself. She left his embrace and turned towards the door. "H-hai mama."

Inuyasha stepped beside his mate and put his arm around her waist as her mother came into the room. When both women's brown eyes connected together, tears began to fall. Kagome ran from Inuyasha's embrace and met her mother half way for a much needed motherly hug. She cried into her mother's neck as her mother sobbed along with her.

Mrs. Higurashi pulled back and cupped her daughter's cheeks. She wiped Kagome's tears away as she stared into her eyes. Knowing how she was so empty earlier, and now seeing how there is a small spark of the Kagome she knows and loves, made a small smile come to her face.

"My sweet babygirl. We will get you the help you need. Everything will get better, I promise. Please, never scare me like that again. I love you so so much, Kagome."

Kagome allowed more tears to fall as her mother showed her yet another reason to keep on living. She nodded her head and hugged her mother once again.

"I love you too, mama. Inuyasha helped me think things through a little more. I promised him and myself that I will keep trying. I won't give up. I promise mama. I love you, Jii-chan, Souta and my friends way too much to leave you all." She pulled back once again to look into her mother's eyes. She smiled up at the older woman happily. "I made my fiancé a promise and I plan to keep it."

Mrs. Higurashi's eyes widened as she looked from her smiling daughter to the blushing hanyou and back. "This is what you want, right Kagome?"

Kagome nodded her head happily. "I've told you before, mama. I love him. I told him that I want to wait until after we defeat... N-Naraku." She took a shuddering breath from saying his name out loud. "Then when we are ready, and I feel like me again, we will have a wedding in both eras and fully become mates."

Mrs. Hugurashi pulled back a step to look at the two warily. She sighed before she spoke. "Okay, Kagome. You have obviously grown up so much since your fifteenth birthday, but I do have one rule." When Kagome only nodded, she continued. "You must wait until after you turn sixteen. Sixteen is the legal age to get married and become intimate. Do you understand?"

Kagome nodded happily and hugged her mother tight before pulling away and jumping into Inuyasha's arms. Inuyasha held onto her as her true happiness shown through both her eyes and her actions. He took a deep breath in of her scent and almost had tears himself just by smelling her joy. He can't remember the last time her scent showed true cheerfulness. He looked at Mrs. Higurashi and gave her a small nod as he purred softly for his mate. Mrs. Higurashi smiled at the scene before she left to make lunch for the couple.

°•°•°

Later that night, Kagome and Inuyasha sat at the table when dinner was served. Souta sat on the other side of Inuyasha, Jii-chan sat at the head of the table and Mrs. Higurashi sat across from the young couple.

Souta excitedly tapped Inuyasha on the shoulder. Inuyasha's ear twitched as he turned to his left, his eyebrow cocking up in question. Souta was practically bouncing up and down in his seat.

"Would you wanna play a video game with me after dinner, Inu-no-niichan!? It's a cool fighting game I got for my birthday this year. Pleeaasseeeee!"

Inuyasha smirked slightly as he ruffled the kids hair. "I don't know kid, maybe another time."

"But why?" The third grader whined.

Mrs. Higurashi chuckled as she watched the scene play out in front of her. "Souta dear, eat your dinner and stop hastling Inuyasha." She turned to Kagome and continued. "Don't you have something to tell your grandfather and brother, Kagome?"

Kagome gulped. They spoke about her engagement during lunch earlier and Kagome agreed she would be the one to tell her other family members. She looked from her grandfather to her brother and back. She grabbed Inuyasha's hand in hers and held on for dear life before she spoke.

"Jii-chan, Souta... after our enemy is defeated and I'm at least sixteen years old... Inuyasha and I are getting married in both the human and demon fashion."

Jii-chan stopped mid-bite to stare wide-eyed at his oldest grandchild. Souta started his excited hopping once again before speaking.

"Cool! So Inu-no-niichan will really be my Inu-no-niichan! Awesome!"

Once her grandfather finally found his voice, he sat his chopsticks down and glared at the nervous hanyou. "You want to marry my granddaughter, boy?"

Inuyasha's face turned red as he bit back a growl. His demon hates to be challenged as if this isn't his and Kagome's choice. His human side understands why her family would be concerned. He nodded his head and spoke tentatively.

"Sh-she's my true m-mate..."

Jii-chans eyes widened to look like saucer's when Inuyasha said that. Being the shrine man that he is, he understands full well what that means.

"You knew as soon as you met her?" At Inuyasha's nod, the old man shook his head and sighed exasperatedly. "My granddaughter is somehow the true mate of a demon from five hundred years ago!" He eyed Inuyasha closely once again. "You will marry her before you complete the mate bond, do you understand me? My granddaughter will remain pure. So no premarrital fornication!"

Kagome dropped the utensil she was holding in her hand as her grandfather unknowingly said something he shouldn't have. Her mind came to a halt, not listening to anything else going on around her. All she could think about was that one word.

Pure.

She closed her eyes as she thought about what he said. What he convinced her of...

"You will be tainted and unwanted."

"Are you ready to become impure, my little Miko?"

"Whore, tainted, defiled, used..."

"Impure..."

Everything is repeating itself over and over again like a mantra in her mind. She put her hands to the sides of her head and began to rock back and forth in her seat. She didn't notice the voices trying to get through to her. She didn't notice being lifted from the dinner table and brought to her bedroom. She didn't notice being layed down in bed and wrapped up in the arms of her mate. The only thing she could focus on was that word...

Impure...

She began crying without realizing. Her entire body was shaking with uncontrollable sobs. She was mumbling unknown words to herself as Inuyasha was rubbing her back and holding her in his arms.

"Kagome... Come back to me, koibito. Look at me, my mate."

Kagome's eyes blinked open slowly and finally focused on his. She realized she was laying down in the bed, Inuyasha's warm body curled around hers.

"Inuyasha..." She immediately cuddled her face into his chest as she allowed his comforting rumble to help calm her racing mind. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

Inuyasha rocked her slowly as he rubbed circles along her back. "Shh. It's okay, Kagome. Ya didn't do anything wrong, koi. I love you."

Kagome began to calm down slightly the longer she felt his warmth and his purr. She took a deep breath in and savored his scent, calming the rest of her mind completely.

A few minutes later, Kagome's mother came in. Kagome pulled back only slightly from Inuyasha's embrace to look at the older woman.

Mrs. Higurashi looked at her daughter sympathetically. "I spoke to your brother and grandfather, dear." Kagome's eyes shone with more tears. "I told Jii-chan enough to get him to understand what had happened. All your brother knows is that you were hurt in the past and some words might upset you. I'm sorry, honey."

Kagome nodded in the affirmative as she rested her head back on Inuyasha's shoulder. "Th-thank you, mama. Can you tell Jii-chan that I'm sorry? I'm too exhausted to go back downstairs. I'm just gonna go to sleep, okay?"

Mrs. Higurashi nodded her head and gave her daughter a watery smile. "I understand Kagome. Sleep well." She turned to Inuyasha and spoke directly to him. "Please take care of my daughter, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha held onto Kagome tighter and gave her a short nod in response. They watched as her mother left and shut the door behind her. Kagome fell back into Inuyasha's embrace and breathed in his wonderful scent.

"Inuyasha?"

"Yeah, 'Gome?"

She reached up and lazily played with one of his ears as she closed her eyes sleepily. "Will you stay in bed with me tonight?"

Inuyasha tucked his face under her chin, allowing his ear to be closer to her talented fingers. He wrapped his arms around her body and increased his calming rumble.

"Always. I'll always stay with you, Kagome."

Kagome murmured something under her breath that sounded like 'I love you,' before her breathing evened out and she fully fell asleep. Inuyasha nuzzled his face into her neck and sighed contentily.

"I love you, my beautiful mate."

°•°•°

Kagome slowly opened her eyes and was immediately met with golden ones staring back at her. She gave him a small smile and reached up to pet his ear softly.

"Morning." Kagome yawned and stretched before continuing with her caresses.

Inuyasha nuzzled his head into her hand. "Mornin'. Did ya sleep alright?"

Kagome nodded before she slowly sat up in bed and stretched again. She looked at the clock and saw that is was nine in the morning, meaning Souta was already at school and Jii-chan is working outside. When Inuyasha sat up next to her, she hugged him around the waist and sighed happily.

"Last night was the first night since I got back that I didn't have a nightmare."

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her and purred contently. "I'll sleep next to ya every single night for the rest of our lives, Kagome."

Kagome pulled back to look into his sincere golden gaze and gave him a small smile. "Thank you... I love you."

Inuyasha leaned forward and mumbled, "I love ya, too." Then connected his lips to hers. Kagome sighed against his mouth before reluctantly pulling away and standing up from bed.

"I'm going to take a shower and brush my teeth before we go to the appointment today." When Inuyasha stood up next to her and looked down at he worriedly, she gave him a questioning look. "What?"

"Kagome..." His ears plastered to his skull as he looked down at the floor. "I won't look, but I wanna stay near you... I'm sorry but..."

Kagome looked away from him with tears in her eyes. "Y-you don't trust me not to hurt myself... I... I understand Inuyasha... You have no reason to trust me... b-but... can you just wait for me on the outside of the bathroom? You'll be able to smell if anything is off..."

Inuyasha sighed and pulled her into his embrace. "Keh... Just don't take too long."

"I won't."

Kagome pulled away and grabbed some clothes for the day. She grabbed a matching pair of underwear, a sports bra and women's boxers. Then she grabbed a pair of baggie black sweat pants and a royal blue turtle neck sweater shirt.

Inuyasha watched her carefully and noticed that she has been wearing clothes he has never seen before. Usually she wears either her school uniform or similar type skirts and blouses.

"Kagome?" She turned to him, so he continued. "Why ain't ya wearing your normal clothes?"

Kagome quickly averted her gaze and shrugged her shoulders. "I... I feel like if I dressed less... exposed... then people won't get the wrong idea..."

"Kagome..."

She shook her head free of her thoughts and smiled up at him. "It's okay, Inuyasha. Really. It's just a new wardrobe. It's not a big deal." She kissed him on the cheek as she walked towards the bathroom.

Inuyasha sighed as he followed behind her and sat on the floor outside of the bathroom door.

Kagome had tears in her eyes as she placed her clothes on the bathroom sink and turned the shower on. 'It's not like I can blame him... I brought this on myself...' She took in a shuddering breath of air as she got undressed. She relieved her bladder and then hopped into the hot shower. She once again scrubbed every inch of her body with the loofah a few times over before washing her hair and then scrubbing herself some more.

When she was finished with her shower, she stepped out and dried herself before brushing her teeth and using mouthwash. She blow-dried her hair and brushed it out all without looking at her reflection. She got dressed and then as she was about to reach for the doorknob, she paused and took a deep breath in. She turned to look in the mirror and gasped.

Her eyes aren't as hollow as they were a few days before, she has less bags under her eyes and her skin isn't as pale. She is still pretty thin, but otherwise she looks okay. She had a small boost of confidence as she looked at herself.

'I know I can do this...'

She turned and opened the door, causing a young Inuhanou to grunt and fall onto his back with a fat cat falling on top of his chest.

"Inuyasha. Were you torturing the cat again?"

Inuyasha's ear twitched as he lifted Buyo off of him and plopped him down on the floor before standing up next to Kagome. Buyo waddled away after hissing at the hanyou.

He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly as Kagome rolled her eyes. "He liked it..."

Kagome shook her head and sighed. She grabbed his hand to lead him downstairs. "Come on dog-boy. Let's eat something before we have to leave."

Inuyasha smiled at the small spark he can see returning to Kagome's gaze little by little.

°•°•°

A couple of hours later, Mrs. Higurashi drove Kagome and Inuyasha to the psychiatric office. When they made it inside, Kagome was holding onto Inuyasha's arm the same way she did at her other doctors appointment those two days prior. Her mother signed her in and then they sat patiently in the waiting room.

About fifteen minutes later, a woman spoke from a doorway.

"Higurashi, Kagome?"

Kagome took a deep breath in and stood with Inuyasha. She turned to her mother and spoke. "Is it okay if only Inuyasha comes with me?" She averted her gaze as she finished speaking.

Mrs. Higurashi only smiled warmly and nodded. "It's perfectly fine, dear. If you need me, I'll be here."

Kagome looked back at her with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, mama." She grabbed Inuyasha's hand and held on tight. "Remember they don't know about the past. We can't say everything that happened, okay?" She whispered only loud enough for him to hear as they walked up to the woman. Inuyasha squeezed her hand in response.

"Hello, my name is Sana. You can follow me back to my office."

Kagome nodded her head as she held onto Inuyasha and followed the tall brunette woman down a long hallway and into a small room. When she entered the room, Dr. Sana sat down at her desk in the far wall. The room itself was probably about ten feet by ten feet. Kagome and Inuyasha walked inside and sat down on the black leather sofa placed directly inside and to the right of the entrance. There is a small coffee table in front of the couch with some magazines, a couple of unopened water bottles and a full tissue box. There were paintings around the walls; one of the beach, one of a beautiful garden and one specific one that caught her eye. It was the Sacred Tree in the middle of Spring. There are colorful butterflies flying around it and small white flowers growing underneath of it. She swore that if she looks really close, she can even see the mark that Kikyo's arrow had left behind.

The psychiatrist smiled and spoke calmly. "I see a certain portrait has caught your attention." Kagome's eyes snapped to hers and she blushed slightly. Sana smiled warmly at her. "The Sacred Tree is beautiful, isn't it? I go to the Higurashi shrine to pray at least once a month. You are the same Higurashi, aren't you?"

Kagome relaxed into Inuyasha's side as he put his left arm around her. Kagome nodded her head and gave the woman a small smile in return. "When my papa died, my mother and I moved in there to live with my Jii-chan, she was pregnant with my little brother at the time."

"I'm sorry to hear about your father, Kagome."

Kagome smiled sadly. "My mama raised my brother and I to the best of her ability... I've been happy..." Her sentence tapered off because that statement isn't fully true anymore. She felt Inuyasha tighten his grip around her side and she leaned further into his embrace.

Sana smiled warmly at her. "So, may I ask your reasoning for coming here today and who is this young man with you?"

Kagome instinctually reached over and grabbed Inuyasha's free hand to hold onto him for support. "Inuyasha is my... fiancé. My mother gave us permission to marry when I am of legal age, after I turn sixteen."

Sana nodded and typed a few notes into her computer before turning back to give Kagome her full attention. "Would you like to start by telling me the initial reason for your visit?"

Kagome's leg started to shake as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in to try and clear her thoughts. Inuyasha used his soft mate call to assist in calming his mate. After a moment, Kagome opened up her eyes and locked them with the beautiful woman in front of her.

"I... I was kidnapped and... uh... abused... r-repeatedly..." She took a shuddering breath in and held onto Inuyasha harder. "I-Inuyasha found me and took me away from him, but the... th-the man who took me got away..."

Sana nodded her head in understanding as she listened to Kagome speak. "Were you sexually assaulted, Kagome?" Kagome looked down at her lap and nodded her head. "Were you raped?" Again another nod as tears began to slip down her cheeks. "I'm so very sorry this happened to you. How long ago did this happen?"

Kagome grabbed a tissue and wiped her fallen tears away before speaking. "H-he took me about three weeks ago and Inuyasha saved me about a week and a half ago..."

The Doctor nodded her head as she wrote down a few more notes. "How have you been fairing since coming home?"

Kagome started to shake slightly, she wrapped her arms around herself protectively causing Inuyasha to burry his face into her hair to try and keep her calm.

"It's okay, Kagome. Take your time." The older woman said nicely.

Kagome nodded her head shakily as she spoke just above a murmur. "I... I have been having nightmares almost every night. I have flashbacks about it at random times of day. Certain words and phrases that he spoke to me, set me off... I..." Tears started to flow like a waterfall as she recalled the day before. "I just wanted it all to end so I... I hurt myself. If... If Inuyasha hadn't been there... I..." She turned her face into Inuyasha's chest and sobbed harder.

Inuyasha immediately hugged her tightly as he rumbled deep within his chest. He whispered into her ear, "It's okay, koi. I'm here and I ain't goin' anywhere. I love you, Kagome."

Kagome nodded against his chest as she pulled back away and grabbed another tissue. She glanced up at the woman before looking back down at the floor and wiping her tears away. "I'm... I'm sorry..."

Sana smiled sadly at her after she wrote down a few key notes. "No need to apologize, Kagome. None of this is your fault. I do need to ask though, do you feel the need to hurt yourself right now? Are you in any danger of returning to that dark place that had caused that?"

Kagome thought to herself for a moment as she turned to look into Inuyasha's golden gaze. She cupped his cheek and smiled at him sadly before looking back at the doctor.

"No... I don't think anything like that will ever happen again."

Sana nodded her head before she continued with her questioning. "You said you have some 'trigger' words. If it won't be too hard to repeat them, can I know what they are and why they upset you so?"

Kagome nodded her head and took a deep breath in. She kept her gaze on the floor as she spoke. "Tainted, unwanted, used, whore, defiled and..." unbidden tears are flowing freely as she clenched her fists tight. "...impure..." She looked up at the woman and spoke a little louder than before. "My friends and family always said how... how pure I was... now..." she shrugged her shoulders. "...now that word is meaningless when spoken about me..." She heard Inuyasha's slight growl but ignored it.

Sana had tears in the corner of her eyes also. She has spoken and seen hundreds of people and this young girl seemed to have been through a lot in such a short period of time.

"Do your friends and family believe you are impure now?"

Kagome looked away and didn't answer. Inuyasha growled and turned her face to look back into his eyes.

"How many times do I gotta tell ya, woman? It wasn't your fault. You are the most pure woman to ever exist."

Kagome looked into his eyes, showing all the love and devotion he feels for her. He not only is speaking the truth, but he is telling her this in front of a stranger. She gave him a watery smile as she looked back at the Doctor.

"No... They told me they don't think those things about me..."

Sana nodded her head and smiled brightly at her. "Now, I would like you to do something for me. Whenever you think about or hear one of those awful words, think about your friends and family. Think about this man who obviously loves you with all of his heart. Try and remember all of the wonderful people you have in your life and know that in no way are you impure. You are not tainted. You are none of those things. Those things were told to you in order to manipulate you and to control you. Remember that, okay?"

Kagome nodded her head slowly. "I-I'll try and remember..."

"Good... Now, you said you have flashbacks and nightmares. How often does this occur and what are you doing when the flashbacks happen?"

Kagome held onto Inuyasha's hand and squeezed him lightly. "I have had nightmares every night since then, other than last night... Last night Inuyasha stayed with me." Her face pinked slightly but she continued. "The flashbacks seem to be random, but it's happened the most when I was in the shower."

After writing her notes down, she turned back to Kagome. "How often are you showering? Are you taking less or more now than you did before? Are you doing anything differently than before?"

Kagome's eyes widened slightly, she didn't think what she was doing was a problem. "I uh... always took as many baths and showers as I could. Once every day or two... but... now it's like I'm on a specific schedule. I take a hot shower every morning and I scrub myself three to five times fully before I feel clean enough to get out... I didn't think anything of it other than I just didn't want to feel dirty anymore..."

"I understand why would would feel the need to do that Kagome, but know that you are not dirty. Why don't you try and set a time frame for your bathing. Try to stay in no more than fifteen minutes so you are not tunnel visioned on scrubbing your skin the entire time." Kagome nodded and listened as she continued. "Do you have any other symptoms? Nausea, vomiting, missed period, diarrhea?"

Kagome's eyes widened as she nodded her head. "I've thrown up two days in a row and I'm a few days late on my period, it was also confirmed that I'm not... not p-pregnant."

Kagome watched and waited as Sana was finishing up with writing down her notes and going over them in her mind.

"Kagome, have you ever been medicated before?" At Kagome's shake of the head, she continued. "Due to the information you have provided me, I would like to give you something that should help with anxiety and depression. It also seems to me that you might be suffering from PTSD; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I'm going to need to speak to your mother about this, but would you be okay with trying some medication that should help make you feel better?"

Kagome tensed in Inuyasha's arms and looked from Sana to Inuyasha and back. She relaxed slightly and nodded her head. "I... I guess if it will help, I'll try it..."

Sana nodded her head and looked back to her computer. She typed in a few things before turning back to speak to Kagome. "I am going to recommend two medications to your mother. One is for anxiety and depression, and it also helps with sleep disorders as an added benefit. This one is called Lexapro. I'll start you on five milligrams and then in a few weeks, increase you to ten. If you feel that you may need to increase again after another month or two, we can discuss that option when the time comes. The other medication I will recommend is called Paroxetine. This one is used to treat PTSD and I would recommend just the starting dose of twenty milligrams. If you respond well to this medication in the next twelve weeks, than I would recommend staying on it indefinitely. In the meantime, I would like to see you again in two weeks to see how you are doing. These medications can take up to three weeks before you start feeling better, so I would like you to work on something called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy."

Sana typed a few things into her computer and a few seconds later the printer started to make noise. She stood from her seat and grabbed the papers that came out of it before stapling them together and handing the packet to Kagome.

"This will give you some steps to at home Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I recommend you read through this packet and try to find ways that may calm your anxiety whenever you feel you may be falling off the deep end." She saw both Kagome and Inuyasha's stunned faces, so she gave them a reassuring smile. "I know this sounds like a lot, Kagome. Don't worry, we will make sure everything gets better. And don't forget that having your support group with you is always a welcome bonus."

Kagome nodded her head as she turned to look at Inuyasha. They silently regarded each other before standing up and looking at the woman who has given them both a lot to think about.

"I'm going to speak to your mother on the way out and schedule another appointment for two weeks from now, alright? Do you have any questions for me before you go?"

Kagome could only shake her head as she looked down at the heavy packet in her hands. Sana then lead them out of her office, down the hall and out into the waiting room. When Kagome and Inuyasha walked out, Inuyasha paused to discreetly sniff the air. Kagome noticed his distraction and grabbed his arm.

"What are you doing?" She whispered as she glanced over and saw her psychiatrist speaking to her mother already.

"I smell one of your weird future friends."

"Nani?"

"Kagome?"

Kagome spun around as she heard the familiar voice. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish. There would be only a couple of reasons why someone would be in this specific waiting room. Either they are with someone seeking help or they are the person seeking help.

"A-Ayumi?"

Ayumi tentatively walked up to Kagome and Inuyasha and smiled brightly. She looked at the silver haired hanyou and her smile got even bigger. "Your boyfriend is with you."

Inuyasha took that moment to open his mouth. "Fiancé."

Ayumi's eyes widened as Kagome blushed brightly. "Fiancé!? You're getting married, Kagome?"

Kagome chuckled awkwardly as she grabbed Inuyasha's hand in hers. "Uhm... y-yeah. Mama said once I turn sixteen, we can get married..."

Ayumi, being the hopeless romantic that she is, practically swooned. "That's so romantic! How sweet. Not many people stay with their high school sweetheart, but you'll be with your middle school sweetheart! So adorable!"

Kagome scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. 'Yeah, my two hundred year old hanyou mate from the past...' "Uh, y-yeah... Anyway, wh-what are you doing here? Are you here to be moral support for someone?"

Ayumi's smile faded just slightly before responding. "Uh, not exactly. I've been coming here for about a year. What about you?"

Kagome was surprised to say the least. Bubbly, positive, intelligent, perfect Ayumi has been seeing a psychiatrist for a year? How could she not have known? "Uhm... I... this is my first appointment..."

Ayumi looked at Kagome sympathetically. "Well, if you ever need a friend, Kagome... I'm here."

As Ayumi was about to walk away, Kagome caught her by the arm. She realized that Ayumi is the only one in her normal friend group who doesn't try and push or force her into anything she doesn't want. She has always been supportive of Kagome's choices in guys or anything else really. Kagome looked back at her with sad eyes and spoke quietly.

"Would you maybe wanna come over for dinner tonight and... talk?"

Ayumi gave Kagome one of her sunshine smiles and nodded her head. "Sure! After my appointment, I'll just head home to tell my mother before coming over."

Kagome released her friends arm and nodded her head. She noticed her mother was now waiting patiently for her so she decided to speed things along. "Well, we'll see you later, alright?"

"Okay, Kagome."

Kagome grabbed Inuyasha's hand once again and walked back over to her mother so they can go home and relax a bit before dinner. She has a lot to think about and now she believes a bit of her decisions are going to revolve around one of her girlfriends, Ayumi.

'Should I tell her the whole story? It would definitely be nice to have a friend in this world that I could completely confide in...'

°•°•°

A/N: Once again, my thoughts ran away with me, haha. I promised the psychiatry appointment so I made this chapter extra long in order to fit it.

I do see a psychiatrist for my anxiety and depression so I definitely have prior knowledge about how it works before writing this. Another thing, I am on Lexapro. I'm not on Paroxetine, but I did look it up and those two medications can be taken together. There is a higher risk factor to mixing them but it is still done... Don't worry, I'm gonna be nice (as nice as I can be for what she has been through) to Kagome and not give her any shitty side effects to these medications. So yeah, haha

Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave an honest review!