InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Brothers-in-Arms ❯ Fighting Instinct ( Chapter 5 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: The only claim I have on these characters was made in the Live Journal community 30Shards, whose story prompts serve as a basis for this tale. In point of fact, the inu-brothers belong to Rumiko Takahashi.
 
Dedication: For Racing Stripes, my beta. I trust your instincts.
 
Date: 08.13.07
 
 
Brothers-in-Arms by Ginger Bits
 
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Chapter 5: Fighting Instinct
 
Three days. Three days of trying to get past the fact that they were bitter enemies at worst, reluctant allies at best, and strangers in every possible way. Inuyasha grimaced and edged a little closer to the end of the escarpment on which he was seated. He'd struggled to bring his reactions under control, but a lifetime of distrust was not easily cast aside. It took a conscious effort not to tense up every time Sesshomaru looked his way, and he had to restrain the urge to reach for Tessaiga whenever the taiyoukai approached. The hanyou risked a glance towards his half-brother. Coming to terms with the change in their association was necessary, but Inuyasha rebelled against Sesshomaru's methods.
 
The taiyoukai had decided that the most effective way to overcome their current awkwardness was… closeness. Though a part of Inuyasha acknowledged the practicality of his brother's plan, the hanyou found Sesshomaru's unrelenting proximity unsettling. From the moment he dropped from his tree branch at dawn until he selected a new one each night, the taiyoukai stayed determinedly by his side, and it was beginning to drive him crazy. It's like being joined at the fucking hip. The hanyou's nerves were fraying, and the perpetual inner turmoil sent his emotions into exhausting spirals. What does it take to get a little privacy? Inuyasha wanted nothing more than to escape, and yet he endured—waiting for conscious efforts to become unconscious responses.
 
What irritated Inuyasha most was the fact that Sesshomaru seemed to derive some perverse amusement from his discomfiture. The hanyou couldn't help the way his gut twisted with half-understood promptings from his youkai side, and his mood darkened in direct proportion to the taiyoukai's apparent satisfaction over every involuntary twitch and start. He scowled in his sibling's general direction and shifted a little further along the rocky ledge. Fucking bastard. Inuyasha resented the fact that the taiyoukai didn't seem fazed by his presence in the least. Smug prick. Sesshomaru was always pressing the issue, repeatedly infringing upon his personal space—never quite touching, but too damn close for comfort. Domineering asshole.
 
Without even glancing the hanyou's way, the taiyoukai calmly adjusted his position, closing the small gap Inuyasha had managed to establish between them. Damn it all! I do not have to put up with this shit! With a growl of frustration, Inuyasha vaulted from the outcropping and took off into the trees. As expected, Sesshomaru appeared at his flank, keeping pace as they wound their way through the underbrush. Though it was useless trying to outdistance his half-brother, Inuyasha did his best to make the pursuit difficult. Employing some of Shippo's favorite tactics, he ducked and dodged, alternating between the ground and the treetops, leading the taiyoukai deeper into the forest. It was impossible to evade Sesshomaru's detection, but the hanyou discovered that he could surprise him. With a reckless swerve, Inuyasha cut directly across his brother's path, forcing his unshakeable sibling to check his speed in order to avoid collision. Two could play at that game, and soon they were crisscrossing each other's paths as they hurtled circuitously through dense woodlands.
 
Inuyasha's fury pushed him until every breath came at great cost, and finally he stumbled to a halt, doubled over as he panted. He knew his brother was right there, waiting. “Would you back off!” snarled the hanyou, shooting a fierce look from the corner of his eye. Sesshomaru's flat stare and resolute posture were a clear denial. “At least give me some room,” retorted Inuyasha through clenched teeth.
 
“No,” the taiyoukai replied, before adding smoothly, “You will become accustomed to my presence.”
 
“I've had enough of your fucking presence!” insisted the hanyou vehemently.
 
Refusing to be baited, Sesshomaru continued in an infuriatingly reasonable tone. “It is necessary.”
 
“It's overkill,” snapped the hanyou, taking the opportunity to distance himself from the taiyoukai by several paces.
 
“It is unavoidable.”
 
You are unavoidable,” spat Inuyasha. “Tell me,” he demanded, straightening. “What fucking difference does it make if you're there, where I can see you,” he scowled, jabbing his finger in Sesshomaru's direction, “or here,” he waved furiously towards his side, “breathing down my neck!”
 
“We do not have time…” began the taiyoukai, impatience edging his voice.
 
“It ain't working,” interrupted the hanyou. “I'm just not used to you being there every time I turn around.”
 
With a set jaw and flashing eyes, Sesshomaru stalked toward his younger brother. Stubbornly, the hanyou stood his ground. He didn't react when the taiyoukai planted himself so close their chests bumped briefly, matching glare for glare as Sesshomaru attempted to make the most of his slight height advantage. Slowly, one narrow eyebrow began to arch upwards, and Inuyasha's eyes narrowed warningly. After a moment, the taiyoukai's mouth tilted smugly. “Yes, you are,” he announced.
 
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Inuyasha wrestled internally, trying to find a mindset he could live with. It hadn't taken long for him to realize that what he thought he knew about his brother was mostly built on assumptions. Ignoring the taiyoukai was more work than it was worth, since he was the only other person in the general vicinity, so the hanyou spent a lot of time watching him. Sesshomaru was definitely still a complete and utter bastard—he confirmed that particular assessment at every possible opportunity. He just happened to be a bastard whose individuality was slowly asserting itself.
 
It made sense to pitch his presuppositions and start from scratch—try to take Sesshomaru at face value. The past loomed large, though. When it came down to it, Inuyasha wasn't sure of his half-brother. The small allowances the taiyoukai had made in his direction were something, but they served Sesshomaru's purposes. The taiyoukai was giving nothing up and gaining everything, and the inequity made Inuyasha suspicious. He didn't want to be outmaneuvered and fall prey to some hidden agenda. I definitely don't trust the asshole not to take advantage of the situation somehow.
 
Inuyasha berated himself again for getting drawn into this mess. Perhaps his boredom and loneliness made him susceptible, or maybe he had read too much into Sesshomaru's invitation. Damn it, the asshole is asking me to behave as if we're allies—friends. Inuyasha had known friendship, and this wasn't it. The hanyou had once been accepted, trusted, needed, liked, even loved. Had he been fool enough to hope that Sesshomaru was offering him the kind of camaraderie he hadn't experienced since Miroku's death a few decades back? Probably, he admitted to himself. That, and the fact that the bastard was his only family. Kagome was always saying much she wished we could just let the past go and be brothers.
 
He'd leapt at the chance of an alliance without taking into account the fact that this was Sesshomaru, after all. The false front they were constructing went through the motions of trust, but the taiyoukai's blank face and silent stares were a poor compensation for the headache it was giving the hanyou. This is the most fucked-up, half-assed excuse for an alliance I've ever seen. It's like the bastard is trying to build up our immunity towards each other instead of establishing any kind of reason to give a shit. Inuyasha knew himself well enough to recognize his disappointment. His empty days seemed doomed to continue, just in another setting and with new reasons to feel alone. Damn. I shoulda stayed with Shippo.
 
“It will be necessary for you to learn a measure of respect,” Sesshomaru announced, pulling the hanyou from his inattentive musings.
 
“Maybe you should to try to earn it,” the hanyou retorted grumpily from where he sprawled on his side, head propped casually against one palm.
 
Sesshomaru sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose, an idiosyncrasy that had manifested itself quite early. “I am not speaking of your attitudes regarding myself. I am speaking of your youkai heritage.”
 
Inuyasha's curiosity was immediately piqued. About time he did some explaining. The prospect of an actual conversation—even if it was more of a lecture—improved his temper considerably. Figuring it wouldn't hurt to let his brother know he appreciated the change of pace, he offered, “That might be… interesting.”
 
The concession spurred his older brother forward. “Much of what is said among inuyoukai is not actually spoken.”
 
The hanyou sat up and crossed his legs. “You said that before,” he said, giving the taiyoukai his full attention.
 
Sesshomaru nodded once to acknowledge the interruption and gathered his thoughts to continue. “Some of it is instinct—simply a part of being youkai. Some of it is protocol—part of being a member of a pack. They are behaviors that have been exemplified and reinforced almost from birth.”
 
Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably. At least in the human world it was possible to bluff your way through. Miroku had always told him that if he found himself out of his depth, he should just keep his mouth shut. Nobody could see your ignorance if you didn't display it. This was different, though. He could make a complete ass of himself without ever opening his mouth. I hate this already.
 
“To prove to the court that you've allied yourself to me, a show of loyalty will be expected,” Sesshomaru continued.
 
That doesn't sound good. “A show of loyalty,” Inuyasha repeated flatly.
 
“Indeed,” confirmed the taiyoukai matter-of-factly. “In return, I'll be expected to demonstrate my acceptance of you and show some evidence of the reciprocity of our trust.”
 
Inuyasha tried to pick his way through the winding sentence and gave up. “What the fuck does that mean?” he said, brows lowering in annoyance.
 
The taiyoukai's head tipped slightly to one side. “Shall I demonstrate?” he offered.
 
“No!” snapped the hanyou.
 
A faint gleam of amusement flickered through Sesshomaru's eyes. “You are nervous,” he accused.
 
There was no use denying it, since the bastard's sense of smell was so good. Can't hide a fucking thing from that damned nose of his. “What do you expect,” grumbled Inuyasha defensively. “I don't know what you're planning to do, you bastard.”
 
“It would be easier to show you.”
 
“Tough,” insisted the hanyou, arms crossed defensively across his chest. “You'll just have to find the words.”
 
Sesshomaru studied his younger sibling's face for a moment, then shrugged. “There are different ways for an inuyoukai to show that they accept the dominance of their alpha. One of the oldest is for you to lie on your back at my feet.”
 
Inuyasha straightened and frowned. “I thought I made it clear at the beginning that I ain't groveling at your feet.”
 
“It isn't groveling,” the taiyoukai explained. “For an inu to expose their belly in a show of vulnerability simply acknowledges the faith they put in their alpha. It's traditional.”
 
“It's humiliating,” argued Inuyasha.
 
Sesshomaru's expression darkened slightly. “The action expresses a willingness on your part to leave yourself defenseless in my presence, but it is not intended as a means of subjugation.”
 
The hanyou winced and looked away, but held his ground. “I won't do that.”
 
The taiyoukai reigned in his patience, and offered another possibility. “I suppose you could lick my chin. That way you would not need to abase yourself.”
 
Inuyasha shot to his feet and shook his head, “Wh-what was that?”
 
Rising smoothly, Sesshomaru frowned and repeated himself. “You could lick my chin.”
 
“Are you fucking crazy?” gaped the hanyou, voice cracking in his disbelief.
 
Genuinely perplexed, the taiyoukai stared blankly for a moment before responding with an almost-hesitant, “No.” The gesture he'd suggested was common enough. In its most basic form, touch was simply a request on the supplicant's part for food—though both shelter and protection were implied as well. He tried to understand the violence of his brother's reaction to this standard pack behavior. Since he knows nothing of the youkai connotations, he must be viewing it from a completely human standpoint. Ah. “It is not the same, Inuyasha.”
 
As Sesshomaru's hand crept back up to pinch the bridge of his nose, Inuyasha tucked his hands into his sleeves and studied his feet. “That's way worse than the groveling,” he muttered.
 
“It is an inuyoukai custom,” the taiyoukai stated quietly. “It is not an expression of human… intimacy.”
 
“You actually let people get close enough to lick you?” asked Inuyasha, disbelief coloring his tones.
 
“No.”
 
The hanyou rolled his eyes impatiently. “So you don't like it either. There's gotta be another way.”
 
“Of course,” replied Sesshomaru calmly.
 
“Why didn't you say so?” blustered Inuyasha.
 
“I was not finished,” he answered straightforwardly.
 
“Keh,” grumbled the hanyou, keeping his wary stance and waiting to see what indignity the next suggestion would contain.
 
“You've actually already demonstrated the third option,” remarked Sesshomaru lightly.
 
Inuyasha's eyes widened, then narrowed, “I did not.”
 
“You did.”
 
“When?” demanded the hanyou.
 
“Three days ago.”
 
Fidgeting uncomfortably, Inuyasha's ears flattened to either side. “What was it?”
 
“You dropped your gaze and bared your throat to me.”
 
The hanyou scrambled over the scene in his mind—the drink at the stream, the intent gaze, the compulsion to respond. “I broke eye contact,” he remembered. “You smug bastard, it doesn't count if I didn't know what it meant!” Sesshomaru shrugged noncommittally. After a moment, Inuyasha grimaced. “I can do that one,” he acknowledged. “So, you said you have to give some sign in return. Do you do the same thing?”
 
“No.”
 
Sesshomaru's expression was off, and the hanyou's nervousness began to build again. “I hate this,” Inuyasha muttered darkly. At the surprise that flashed in his brother's eyes, he plowed ahead. “I hate this because it doesn't make any fucking sense. I don't have any of your crazy youkai instincts.”
 
“I disagree,” the taiyoukai said, fixing his sibling with his direct gaze. “They are there; I've seen you react on an instinctual level on numerous occasions. You fight them though—suppress them instead of heeding them.”
 
“I have to suppress my youkai,” Inuyasha said, fingering the tattered wrappings on Tessaiga's hilt.
 
“Your youkai, yes, but not your instincts. They are part of your birthright.”
 
The hanyou stared. That was almost a nice thing to say. “I'm half human,” he couldn't help reminding his brother, who seemed to have forgotten their old bone of contention.
“You have very strong youki,” Sesshomaru stated with authority.
 
“How do you know?”
 
“Your youkai knows how to respond even if you do not.” The taiyoukai smirked at his brother's stunned silence. “I will demonstrate.”
 
Inuyasha started to protest, but Sesshomaru held up a hand. “You need to understand this in order to appreciate what I will be called upon to do.” Fists clenched, Inuyasha nodded. Slowly, Sesshomaru stepped to one side and began to move around behind the hanyou. Automatically, Inuyasha turned, keeping his brother in front of him. The taiyoukai shook his head. “Hold still.”
 
Though it took every ounce of his stubborn will, Inuyasha obeyed. He kept his face forward and allowed Sesshomaru to move out of his line of sight, but his better judgment screamed in protest. He wanted to turn, to run, to fight—anything. His gut told him he was a fool to let someone he did not trust have access to his unguarded back. I wish he coulda picked a way to demonstrate youkai instinct that couldn't be confused with common sense, he thought wryly. Inuyasha felt his brother take up a position directly behind him. After a few moments, the taiyoukai shifted to the left and planted a boot beside his bare foot. Hair brushed Inuyasha's shoulder and arm as Sesshomaru leaned around his body to read his face.
 
Keeping his tone neutral, almost analytical, he asked, “What do you instincts tell you, little brother?”
 
Inuyasha rolled his eyes to take in his brother's face. He could see the brilliant youkai markings in sharp relief against pale skin, could feel Sesshomaru's breath on his neck, could detect the slightest vibration of a growl underlying the taiyoukai's words. Finding it impossible to formulate a sensible answer, the hanyou decided to summarize. “Shit.”
 
“Hnn.” Sesshomaru straightened slowly and stepped back, returning to his place in front of his younger brother. Inuyasha blinked once he registered the fact that he'd reached for Tessaiga during the taiyoukai's demonstration. He clung to its hilt with a white-knuckled grip. He tried to cover up his discomfort, but Sesshomaru shook his head remonstratively. “Your instinct is correct. To allow a potential enemy to slip behind your back is to invite death.”
 
“Keh,” muttered the hanyou sarcastically.
 
Ignoring the rudeness, Sesshomaru laid out the basics. “When the time comes, you will be asked to bare your throat to me. I will claim you as my father's son, my brother, and my ally. To demonstrate the implicit nature of my trust for you, you will take up a position behind me. The court will recognize my determination to take you under my protection and my belief that you are trustworthy enough that I am willing to place my life in your hands.”
 
“That's all?”
 
“Was it easy to let me stand at your back?”
 
“No.”
 
The taiyoukai nodded. “It is not something I have ever permitted.”
 
“Never?”
 
“Not since my succession.”
 
A swift flash of insight broke into Inuyasha's consciousness as he stared up into his brother's implacable face. He doesn't know how. Inuyasha had sincerely doubted his elder brother's capacity for friendship, but it had never occurred to him that his unkind sentiments might not be far from the truth. “When…”
 
Sesshomaru's eyes flicked over his younger sibling before he answered. “The day you were born.”
 
Inuyasha tucked his hands into his sleeves and turned this new piece of information over in his head. Uppity asshole's been alone for centuries. It hadn't been so different for him—a half-wild hanyou who'd been coaxed out of the wilderness. I didn't trust anyone either. It had taken time for Kagome to get past his defenses; it had taken even longer for Miroku to earn his trust. He hadn't made it easy on any of them, and as he stood there facing his half-brother he thought that maybe the two of them were more alike than he'd thought. Nothing is gonna be easy with him. He would have to initiate any overtures towards the friendship he had hoped for, and knowing it gave Inuyasha an odd sense of being in control. “Can I try it?” he asked suddenly. Sesshomaru quirked a brow. “Can I stand behind you?” he clarified.
 
“Hnn,” the taiyoukai murmured, displeasure apparent.
 
Inuyasha's dark eyebrows drew together at his brother's hesitation. “You've been making my life miserable for three whole days, sayin' I gotta get used to your presence.” Sesshomaru's expression soured considerably. “I'm certainly not plannin' to wait until we're up in front of a crowd to see how you'll react. You gotta get used to me, too.”
 
The taiyoukai frowned, but conceded the point. “Indeed.”
 
Nodding, Inuyasha took half a step towards Sesshomaru, but hesitated. “Uh, where behind you?” He waved one hand carelessly in the direction of the taiyoukai's right shoulder. “That… thing takes up a lot of room, and you're taller than me. I'm not supposed to be hiding behind you for this, am I?”
 
The taiyoukai relaxed imperceptibly at the practicality of the question, and directed his younger sibling's movements. “Stand here at my left, with your shoulder behind mine.”
 
Thinking it might help, Inuyasha kept talking as he stepped cautiously around his elder brother's imposing form. “Kinda like a personal guard, huh?”
 
“Not in this case,” corrected Sesshomaru. “My guards stay in front of me, between me and any perceived threat. Your position indicates a higher degree of trust.”
 
Inuyasha slipped into place, and noticed the way his brother stiffened. He was holding himself so taut, he was practically vibrating. Keeping his voice low and neutral, the hanyou murmured, “Relax, asshole. I ain't gonna do anything stupid.” After a couple moments, he added candidly, “I'm glad I'm not the only one who's jumpy about this shit.”
 
“I will adjust,” the taiyoukai bit out.
 
“You had enough?”
 
“Indeed.”
 
Inuyasha strode back to the front, assuming a relaxed stance. “Is that all I need to know?”
 
“This was just one matter; there are many more to be addressed,” Sesshomaru warned, letting some of the rigidity in his posture seep away.
 
“I figured.” Inuyasha pulled a hand over his face wearily, then grumbled, “Please tell me it's just little stuff left, like not accidentally making rude gestures and knowing how deep to bow and telling me which people it's safe to blink around.”
 
Though the taiyoukai kept his expression scrupulously neutral, his eyes took on an unaccustomed brightness. “Hnn. We will address your deportment in some detail, but we have yet to discuss several topics which may require further… acclimation.” Inuyasha looked afraid to ask, so his half-brother elaborated. “Scent marking, for instance.” When the hanyou paled visibly, Sesshomaru made a soft chuffing sound Inuyasha had begun to associate with amusement.
 
He caught the gleam in his sibling's eye and couldn't decide which he found more disturbing—the fact that his older brother might actually be teasing him, or the fact that the twisted bastard might be telling the truth about scent marking. The taiyoukai turned then, taking the lead for the first time in the few days they'd been traveling together. Inuyasha hung back for a few beats, watching his brother's retreating figure and knowing he was expected to follow. As he did so, it occurred to the hanyou that Sesshomaru had again set him at his back.
 
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Shard 16, Friendship
3,598 words