InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Can't Stay Away ❯ Chapter 19 - Truth ( Chapter 19 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Kagome and Inuyasha dozed off for a few minutes, still spooning, entangled in each other’s legs and arms. Kagome woke up before him and made sure not to move a muscle. She was overwhelmed with emotions and didn’t want to face him just yet.
Tears slowly began to make their way down her cheeks as she realized she wasn’t sure what to do next. To say they got caught up in the heat of the moment was an understatement and she knew things wouldn’t be exactly peachy from now on just because they had sex.
She decided, without much of an effort, that she wouldn’t regret this. She was glad they had finally talked things out and that they had succumbed to their desires, which they denied and held back for so long. At least now she would have this memory.
But she knew things didn’t change. As much as she wished they would, they wouldn’t. She wanted nothing more than to wake Inuyasha up, kiss him, make love to him again, hear him say he loved her and be with him forever. She thought that was probably what he wanted too. But they couldn’t. She couldn’t.
He’s still the man who cheated on me, broke my heart and made my life miserable. He still doesn’t trust me and he probably never will. I don’t trust him either. How could I? After all he’s done, there’s no talking it out. Things won’t change, even though he said he loves me. I can’t trust him or his words now. Whatever he says, it won’t be enough.
She decided to get up as silently as she could. When she moved his hand from her breast, he woke up.

“Hey”, he said, smiling and sleepy.
“Hi”, she said, while getting up and gathering her clothes, not looking at him.
He sat up, knowing something was off. “Kagome, what’s wrong?”, he asked with a concerned face.
“Nothing, we just have to go, people are probably looking for us. Especially your fiancée and my boyfriend”, she said, still not looking at him, clasping her bra.
He sensed hurt in her voice. She was straightening out her dress and he took it out of her hands and pulled her to seat beside him on the bed. Facing her, he looked her in the eye. “Kagome, she’s not my fiancée anymore. She was, until before we made love, but not anymore. I just have to tell her that. And I hope you’ll do the same with your… that guy”, he said, not wanting to refer to him as anything “hers”. He put a strand of hair behind her ear. “We’re together now. Everything that happened is in the past”.
Kagome quickly got up and looked at him with a brutal look. “Everything’s in the past, huh? Talk about yourself. I can’t forget what I went through, what you made me go through. Do you think just because I gave myself to you and that you told me you love me, things will just go away and everything will be ok?! Tell me, how can I forget you cheated on me? How can I forget you thought the worst of me and shut me out of your life? What happens if another ‘interview’ comes up? Do you think I’ll let you do that to me again, treat me like shit? Make me fall deeper in love with you just to get my heart broken all over again? How can you be so selfish? You think you can go around screwing every woman in sight, blocking me from ever contacting you and then decide to have sex with me and expect everything to be ok just like that?”, she said, snapping her fingers. She was so angry that she wouldn’t let a single tear escape her eyes, determined to show him just how strong she was. She calmed down a little, letting out a sigh. She had to be mature about this. “Inuyasha, I love you. You say you love me, but your actions speak otherwise. I’ve been through enough because of you and I’m not going through that again. There’s no way for us. What we just had was special and I will always remember it fondly, but we’ll continue being strangers to each other.”

Inuyasha was left speechless. He decided to let her vent and tell him everything she needed to say, not interrupting her even once. Even if he wanted to interrupt her, he couldn’t. He was just so shocked that he froze. She thinks we don’t stand a chance. She doesn’t trust me. I can’t blame her though. She’s right, I don’t deserve her. I was really selfish to assume everything would be fine.

“Kagome, you’re right”, he said, staring at the floor. Kagome looked dumbfounded. She didn’t expect him to realize what he had done immediately. “However”, he continued. There we go, she thought. His voice was calm and he had a determined look on his face. “I will not give up on you. I will do whatever it takes to get you to trust me again. I won’t make any more mistakes. I should’ve handled the situation differently, I should’ve listened to my instincts and trusted you from the beginning. I was a fool, but now I know you are not the kind of person that would do that. I trust you. And I’ll to anything to get you to trust me, even if you won’t allow me”. He stared at her intently. “I’m sorry”.
Kagome looked at him openmouthed. She really didn’t expect that. She didn’t know what to think of it, so she just nodded. “Okay”.

He gave her a small smile and began to collect his clothes. She finished putting her dress on and tried her best to look presentable. She made her way to the door and opened it, before looking at him. “Bye, Inuyasha”.

Kagome was feeling much better than she had in a long time. She hadn’t heard from Inuyasha since the banquet a couple of weeks before, but she was happy to have cleared things up between them and she couldn’t forget everything he told her that night, especially the part he said he loved her and that he wouldn’t give up on her. The images from their lovemaking plagued her, but she didn’t mind. She felt loved. She knew he understood he messed up bad and that he had heard her when she told him she didn’t trust him. She felt hopeful. Maybe there is a chance after all. Maybe I can trust him again, someday.
Even though she hadn’t heard from him, she heard of him. It was all over the news the day after the banquet: Inuyasha Takahashi ended his engagement to Kikyo Asai a month before the wedding. Inuyasha Takahashi said, in an exclusive interview, that Kagome Higurashi wasn’t the one who gave the interview detailing their relationship, saying Kagome was an honorable woman, whom he holds dear in his heart.
Kagome didn’t like the attention she was suddenly getting. It wasn’t much and she didn’t care about hearing what the media had to say about her. What she did care about was how it affected her relationship with Ryo.
She had decided they would still see each other. He liked her and she liked him, although not as much as he did, and Inuyasha didn’t deserve the consideration she could have given him by breaking up with Ryo, since he had done much worse when they were apart. She had to, however, come clean with Ryo about her relationship with Inuyasha and even give him a censored version of what happened the night of the banquet, to let him know why she had disappeared that night. She had told him she and Inuyasha were in a relationship more than a year ago and that it ended badly, because of a misunderstanding. She told him that that night, Inuyasha had confronted her and they cleared things up, and that was it. She felt really bad about hiding the fact that they had had sex that night and thought she would die from the guilt.
After a month of thinking carefully about it, she decided it was unfair to Ryo, especially after he told her he loved her. She couldn’t hold it any longer. She had to do this for him and for her. Oh God, how could I have done this to him? I’m such a horrible person…
Kagome called Ryo and asked him to meet her at her house. He got there shortly after and could sense something was wrong. He sat at the couch and looked nervous. Kagome couldn’t help but remember the almost same conversation she had with Hojo at that same spot.

“Ryo, I’m so sorry…”, she started to say, before feeling a lump form in her throat. “I’ve done something very, very wrong. And I feel really bad. There’s nothing I can do to make it right and you don’t deserve this…”
Ryo gulped. “Kagome, you’re scaring me. What happened?”
“You remember that I told you about Inuyasha and what happened at the banquet, right?”, she said frowning.
“Y-yes”.
“Well, I… didn’t tell you the whole truth”. She decided to just blurt it out. “We had sex that night”. She was staring intently at the floor.
“You WHAT?!”
“Ryo, listen to me…”, she said, facing him. “I was in a really bad place when Inuyasha broke up with me. When I met you, I was starting to feel like myself again and I thought I could finally move on and be happy with you. I really like you, even though it doesn’t seem true now, but I do. And then he came up to me that night and told me he loves me and that he suffered with our break up as well and… you see, I, I was a virgin until then. And we couldn’t help it, we just had to have what we didn’t have before, and it happened… But I decided him and I wouldn’t work, so that was it. I know it’s very unfair to you and I’m very, very sorry. I know I’m a horrible person and that you probably don’t want anything to do with me now, but I hope you can forgive me, someday.”
Ryo listened to every word she had said silently, staring at the floor. “You are a whore”, he said, looking up at her, startling Kagome. “And no, I will never forgive you. I told you I LOVED you that night. And in less than a minute after that you go to your ex boyfriend and HAVE SEX with him? You are sick”. It seemed like he was trying to keep it together.
Kagome was at a loss. She knew he was right, but how could she explain to him what she and Inuyasha have?
She looked down at the floor again. “I know, you have every right to be upset, but I didn’t plan it. It just happened and…”, she was cut short.
“I don’t care if you planned it or not. You’re still a whore and you’re an adult, you are responsible for your own actions. I will never forgive you, Kagome. I thought you were a decent person, but you are worth nothing.” He stood up, not looking at her, and left.

Kagome went to her room and cried until she fell asleep.