InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Cannot Be Broken ❯ Not Who You Are ( Chapter 19 )

It was black. Pitch black. He couldn't see anything. It was if he was floating in perpetual darkness. And it seemed thick. It was too heavy to breath, and too heavy to move. And he felt too tired to do any of it. He just stayed in the black. Echoes of voices around him were muffled. He listened numbly.

 

“How is he?”

 

“The wounds are healing.”

 

“Any signs of pain?”

 

“No.”

 

Silence.

 

“I don't think it was wise, my lord.”

 

“It was necessary.”

 

“It would have killed them both.”

 

“That would be impossible.”

 

“How is she?”

 

“…She lives.”

 

“She should not have to go through this.”

 

“She is the only who keeps him alive….”

 

Darkness slipped him deeper into its folds.

 

****

 

She hurt. Beyond all that she could recognize, she was sure pain was all there is and all there ever was. She hurt so bad she could never remember a time where she did not feel the weight of suffering bearing down on her. She couldn't move. She could barely breath. It hurt to do anything. The soft mattress under her felt like a heated compressor against every pore of her body. And she could not let it go. She clung to the pain like a lifeline, afraid to let it go.

 

“Kagome?”

 

She allowed a small tilt of her head towards the voice.

 

“Drink.”

 

Cool liquid dripped past her cracked lips. Her dry throat felt like was absorbing it before she could reflexively swallow. She didn't even taste it. She couldn't. Everything tasted of blood. Or was it the memory of blood?

 

She moved her lips slightly, trying to mouth the word `more'.

 

Liquid dripped into her. And so it went until she fell back into painful oblivion.

 

****

 

The world looked bleary. He could feel now. Everything throbbed. He managed to open his eyes. Or thought they were open. Wisps of colour moved past him. He tried to blink to clear his vision. He breathed heavily.

 

“Am I awake?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Where is Kagome?”

 

“Near.”

 

“I will kill you if you harm her.”

 

“Likewise.”

 

InuYasha closed his eyes tightly and swallowed. He opened them again. The room grew more into focus.

 

“Sesshomaru?”

 

Silence. Golden eyes studied him. InuYasha flicked his gaze around the room. It was bare, with a few chests and a futon that he laid upon.

 

“How did I get here?” He licked his lips and tried to move, but he felt heavy. He slumped uneasily into the futon.

 

His older brother frowned, if that was possible, but it was the closest thing to describe his expression.

 

“You were brought here.”

 

InuYasha growled. “I hate how you do that.” He winced as a headache pounced into his head.

 

Silence.

 

InuYasha clenched his jaw. “I hate that you do that… never speak, and when you do it's just answering what I ask, blatantly refusing to give any more information.” InuYasha tried to rise again and managed to sit up. It hurt. A lot. He hunched his body as he swung his legs to the floor and waited for the room to stop spinning. Why hadn't he felt this pain before now?

 

A soft exhale of breath caught his attention.

 

InuYasha turned his head stiffly to glare at the demon lord. “What?”

 

“I had forgotten how brazen you could be.” His brother did the unexpected and moved to stand beside him, as if waiting for something.

 

InuYasha sighed and stood, swaying slightly. He looked around again, sniffing. Following the smell he was tracking, he turned to his brother. “Where is Kagome?”

 

“She is safe. She should also be rousing.” Sesshomaru walked to the door and waited.

 

“I want to see her.” The hanyou stepped slowly to stand beside him and slumped on the doorframe.

 

Sesshomaru regarded him carefully. “Do you think it wise? That I should allow you to be near her when you could not protect her?”

 

InuYasha snarled. “She is my mate. She is mine. I will do as I want with her.”

 

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed. “How naïve.” With that he walked out of the room.

 

InuYasha heaved a heavy breath and hoisted his body from the doorframe to reluctantly follow. Someday he would kick his brother's ass and get a full conversation out of him.

 

****

 

“Kagome, dear, how are you feeling?”

 

Kagome felt tired but roused at the familiar and welcoming voice. “Okaa?”

 

Rin stood beaming above her and sat beside her. Kagome sat up stiffly in bed as her mother wiped away stray tendrils of hair from her face. Kagome smiled softly at the simple and soft gesture.

 

“My little Kagome.”

 

Kagome sighed and leaned her back against the frame. “I haven't heard that in such a long time.” She looked up at Rin. “I missed it.”

 

Rin smiled. “You will always be my little girl. Now, how are you feeling?”

 

Kagome opened her mouth but then thought otherwise. Telling your mother that the bear attack you suffered felt like kitten kisses compared to the way you felt now was not the way to go. “Better.” She stated simply.

 

Rin nodded. “The pain should soon be fading now that InuYasha is awake.”

 

“InuYasha?” Kagome sat up straighter, ignoring the fact that the pain she was suffering was now dulling. “Where is he? Is he okay?”

 

Rin moved to help her out of bed. “He is…better as well. Come on, your father needs to speak to you both.”

 

Kagome's breath hitched into her throat. Otou-san….

 

****

 

The Great Hall looked exactly the same. Except no advisors lined the walls and a large fire roared in the grand fire case at the far alcove. Kagome walked gingerly into the room and shivered. So many memories… so many untruths came from this very room.

 

Rin led her to the large oak table, a new addition since her last visit in this room. The room still showed signs of the day InuYasha came for her. She smiled in spite of herself, casting her gaze to the middle of the room where she was pledged to InuYasha as she seated herself at the table. She was amazed how much has changed since that day. Amazing how different she felt. She was brought out of her wonderings with the gentle voice of her mother.

 

“Wait here for your father. I have to check on the baby.”

 

Kagome spun in her chair, her eyes flicking from her mother's stomach to her face. “Okaa… you had the baby?! I'm sorry, I never… when? What is it? Can I see it?”

 

Rin opened her mouth before a smooth voice echoed in the hall.

 

“Such occasions will wait. Rin, please tend to our other child.” Sesshomaru walked in the room, his stature regal and in control.

 

Rin smiled at her daughter and then her husband. She was delighted her family was all here. She nodded. “You'll see him when you are done here.” She gave Kagome a quick kiss on the forehead and patted Sesshomaru's arm on the way out, only to quickly side step out of the way as a very contrite hanyou stumbled around the corner.

 

Sesshomaru growled low at the supposed threat of safety towards his mate as InuYasha walked stiffly into the room.

 

InuYasha noticed and shuffled out of Rin's way to allow her through the doorway, bowing slightly and wincing from the pain of that action. As she walked beside him on her way out she smiled and whispered something. He quickly turned his head towards the occupants in the room and he moved swiftly to the table. “Kagome….” His voice was etched in relief.

 

Kagome turned and smiled when she heard him. “InuYasha….” She looked him over, her face falling. “Are you…?”

 

InuYasha sat in a chair beside her. “I'm fine.” He growled in discomfort. From the corner of his eye he studied her. He quickly sniffed and found she was unharmed though she looked as if she went through hell and back. Either way, she was still beautiful.

 

Kagome grinned. She felt what he was feeling then she quickly sobered. “How did I feel that? I didn't even touch the necklace!”

 

InuYasha turned to face her, an expression of shock flicked through him. She felt what he felt? He could feel her confusion. She was right. What was going on?

 

“Then you both know what the rosary does.” Sesshomaru walked towards the table.

 

InuYasha rounded on him. “You fucking bastard! What the fuck is the big idea?! Why the fuck did you get that fucking wolf to put this fucking thing on me?”

 

Sesshomaru watched the hanyou from the corner of his eye. “InuYasha, I see you have become more articulate with your age.”

 

The hanyou growled. “Whatever! Now answer me.”

 

The great lord stood at the head of the table and watched them both. “The rosary was suited for one specific purpose: to combine your auras. As for why I sent Kouga, time was of the essence and Kouga is the fastest of my legion.”

 

InuYasha flexed his claws. Before he could shout more obscenities peppered with questions, Kagome butted in.

 

“The reason why we have come, Father, is because we are not certain the purpose or the reasoning behind the rosary. We had hoped you would explain all that we needed to know and possibly all that we want to know once you have told us your rationale towards this joining you speak of.”

 

InuYasha's jaw dropped. Kagome sat tall and proud and her voice sounded proper and with poise. Where the hell was the spitfire he has lived with for the last three months?

 

Sesshomaru nodded his head solemnly. “Then I will tell you what you need to know.”

 

InuYasha's jaw dropped even further. Sesshomaru was going to divulge information without having a secret key code to get it out of him?

 

“The rosary had but one purpose, to meld your two auras. It was a necessary action.” Sesshomaru looked from Kagome, to InuYasha and then back to Kagome.

 

InuYasha fumed, hadn't he just said that? Then again, maybe he wasn't going to say much more than that. He growled only to stop when Kagome rested her hand on his. Patience. The emotion flooded into him and he remained quiet and listened.

 

Sesshomaru watched them closely. “The purpose as to why it combines your auras is an explanation that will come when needed. First, I must comprehend the extent to which the rosary had joined the two of you.”

 

InuYasha sat in silence. What the fuck does that mean?

 

Kagome sighed, sensing his confusion. “It means, what does the necklace do to us?” She looked up at her father. “When the rosary was placed on InuYasha, nothing that I was aware of had happened. It was only until after I touched it did things begin to change.”

 

Sesshomaru gazed at her intently.

 

She tilted her head in thought. “The first time I touched it, InuYasha was fighting with Kouga. When I touched the necklace it drained our strength so much that we could barely stand. The second time, we were angry at each other and it forced us apart. The third time, under the suspicion of Miroku, the monk of InuYasha's manor, we shared feelings.” Kagome blushed remembering the moment and turned her head away. InuYasha also flushed.

 

She was silent for a moment before she continued, her voice sounded distant. “On our way here, I fell into the river. InuYasha saved me and brought me to a cave. The next morning….” She looked quickly up at her father, her cheeks burned. InuYasha smirked. She shot him a deathly glare, sensing his lewd thoughts.

 

Sesshomaru quirked a brow. “So the rosary has only worked when you both are in contact with it?”

 

Kagome looked at InuYasha, then at her father. She shook her head. “No, now I can feel his aura in me without touching it at all. How did this happen? Why did this happen?”

 

Sesshomaru turned his head to the door where Rin had exited. “Kikyo.”

 

The miko from the meadow had walking stoically into the room. She moved to stand beside the demon lord. She gave InuYasha an icy stare before roaming her eyes to Kagome. An unreadable expression passed over Kikyo's face.

 

“What do you sense?” Sesshomaru asked her.

 

Kikyo gazed at her student then closed her eyes. She nodded. “She has developed them in your absence. He would have found her eventually.”

 

Sesshomaru growled. “Then it was necessary.”

 

Kikyo nodded and gave InuYasha another icy glare. “Yes, though I had hoped there was another way.”

 

InuYasha's eyes narrowed and Kagome looked at all three.

 

“I think we need to know what you are talking about.” She stated simply.

 

Kikyo looked over at Sesshomaru who nodded in kind.

 

Kikyo turned back to Kagome. “It will come to light its importance once we know how far you have progressed. Tell me, what powers you have developed since you had left the Western Territory?”

 

Kagome gaped. “Powers? I don't know what….”

 

Sesshomaru growled again, this time louder. “Answer.”

 

Kagome ducked her head down to look at the table. “I don't know how or why they started….”

 

“Those answers will come once we know what you have accomplished.” Kikyo stated sternly.

 

Kagome licked her lips, quite aware of the full attention of the hanyou beside her. She could see his ears flicking quickly to each party member. She felt like she was being scrutinized for something she couldn't control. She also felt naked and raw that they were aware she had these powers and were calling her on it. It was like she was on display, waiting to be picked apart.

 

“Kagome.” Her father barked. “You must answer.”

 

She jumped. “Auras. I have seen auras. And I can heal with a touch of my hand.”

 

“Is that all?” Kikyo asked.

 

She shook her head. “No. I could hear things… and see things. They call to me. I also… could feel InuYasha's youkai.”

 

Sesshomaru looked at Kikyo before turning to his daughter. “Who are they?”

 

Kagome breathed in deep and then laughed nervously. “The air… water… the forest… but to be fair only one tree actually spoke to me, so I'm not completely crazy like having a conversation with a whole forest.”

 

“Kagome, stop rambling.” Her father stated.

 

Kagome bit her lip. She could feel InuYasha's emotions swarm with confusion, doubt and scrutiny. She could only guess his thoughts right now as he read her own emotions.

 

“When did this begin?” Kikyo broke her train of thought.

 

Kagome swallowed and thought for a moment. Her voice shook. “I believe the night I left the manor with InuYasha. A bear attacked me. He… InuYasha, took care of my wounds. I …remember seeing the auras and then I passed out.”

 

Sesshomaru looked hard at both Kagome and InuYasha. “And the other times?”

 

Kagome looked up, anywhere but at her father. “In the hot spring in the manor.” She flicked her eyes at the demon lord at that moment, remembering the reason why the manor was built. She would have to ask her father all her questions regarding his war with InuYasha at a better time. “InuYasha had walked in on me and I saw the auras come to life, but they faded when I … when I left the room. And I could… read his youkai for the first time.”

 

Her father nodded. “Is that all?”

 

She shook her head. “In the stable. I had tamed a horse. I was showing off to InuYasha…and I accidentally channelled his youkai. He… we…. Um, I ran to the ocean and it was there that everything looked brighter. More real. And there was a tree. It was sick and I felt it call to me.” She was talking rapidly now and she knew she wasn't making any sense. She sighed shakily.

 

The room fell silent. She cringed.

 

“What happened?” Kikyo asked.

 

Kagome looked at all three, looking last at InuYasha who was studying the table with numbed interest. She could feel his distrust of her building. “Please don't make do this,” she whispered.

 

Kikyo frowned. “No, Kagome, you have to tell us. You have to tell us everything.”

 

“Why?” Kagome fidgeted with her fingers.

 

A low growl erupted by her side. “Kagome, you had better tell me everything. I want to know why I have this damned necklace around my neck and so far it has everything to do with you. So you better tell me all of it.” InuYasha's voice was cold and hard. Anger, hurt, betrayal and a full range of other emotions washed over her.

 

Kagome glared at her lap. Unshed tears burned the back of her eyes. How could she explain any of this? How could she not make it sound as if she was losing her mind?

 

“The tree?” Kikyo asked. “Tell me everything you remember about it.”

 

Kagome opened her mouth only to have her throat close off. She sighed. Her voice was steady when she finally replied. “The tree looked dark. I touched it and it grew brighter. I knew it was sick. When I moved closer to it I knew the ground was making it sick, so I healed the ground. I swear I don't know how I did it. I just touched the dirt and it was right again and the tree got better. And a few months later I found myself near the tree again. It was healthy. I touched it and… I know it sounds stupid… but I am sure I felt it thank me.”

 

“Is that when I found you talking to that tree?” InuYasha asked.

 

Kagome tilted her head in a slight nod.

 

InuYasha growled. “Are you telling me you were using these powers all this time in front of me and you never told me about them?”

 

Anger rolled from him into her and her own emotions joined with it.

 

Kagome shot her eyes at him. “I wasn't using my powers. I didn't know how to control them or why they were there or if I could control them at all. I was scared, alright? For all I knew I was going crazy! I mean, come on! Every time I kiss you the world spins away and bright rainbows blind me and voices fill my mind? You think I want to admit that to you when I don't even know what it was all about?”

 

InuYasha's mouth dropped. “Every time we…. Is that why you always ran from me?”

 

Kagome flushed. “No, well, yes, but not totally. You were still an ass and my enemy at the time!”

 

“I thought we got past all that.” He seethed.

 

“We did!” Kagome fumed. “I also told you it became something else, something more complicated. I was about to tell you then but then you kissed me! And then other things got in the way and I couldn't.”

 

She could see InuYasha's mind recall that day. His eyes narrowed. “When Kouga came, you were seeing it then weren't you? That's why you wouldn't open your eyes. I thought I… I thought you were in pain!”

 

Kagome growled. “It was bright and I couldn't see. Then you had to get all savage at Kouga and for some fucked up reason I was soaking up your youkai emotions! And believe me, feeling you in any form is no damn picnic. It was enough trouble feeling just your youkai before the necklace! Now I have to feel all of you all the time, not just when we're….” She shut up then and there and slumped back onto her chair.

 

InuYasha folded his arms and slumped back into his own.

 

“I see.” Sesshomaru stated simply.

 

“What?!” InuYasha barked.

 

“It seems the rosary was placed just at the right moment.” Kikyo replied.

 

“I think I'm starting to go crazy here!” The hanyou jumped up from the table. “Tell me when you have it sorted out and give me the quick and easy when you're through. I'm outta here!”

 

Sesshomaru was beside him within a moment. He pushed the hanyou back into his seat. “You will remain where you are, and you will listen.”

 

InuYasha fought against the grip. “And why the fuck should I? Ever since I met this girl my life has been trouble! Now I find she is more than what she says and she didn't even tell me anything! All I hear is excuses! First it was you, then it was me, then it was necklaces, and now it's unexplainable powers? Had I known you were pawning off a freak I would have retracted my claim the moment I set foot in this hell hole!”

 

Kagome paled. A freak?

 

Sesshomaru's claws dug deep into the hanyou's shoulder. “You will apologize to your mate.”

 

“And why should I?” InuYasha winced slightly as poison from the claws dripped into him.

 

“Because though she was misled about you, she had listened to you. Though she now knows you as you are, she still stands by you. Though she kept from you her powers, it was her fear you would reject her. And now she bares it all with undeniable scrutiny from the very soul she is connected to, who should see past her words to her truth.” Sesshomaru snarled.

 

InuYasha paled. He glimpsed at Kagome who was looking away from him. He could sense her confusion, pain and doubt. He slumped heavily in his seat without need of force and looked away.

 

“Kagome.” Kikyo spoke after a moment of silence. “You are aware that these powers manifested during or after you were intimate with your mate?”

 

Kagome turned to her sensei and nodded emotionlessly.

 

“Have you ever felt this towards anyone else? Anything else?” The miko asked. “Possibly while living here?”

 

InuYasha's ears flicked back towards her intently.

 

Kagome shook her head. “No.”

 

Kikyo cast her eyes to Sesshomaru. “Then they arose away from your aura. Without them suppressed, her emotions brought them to light. They may have been more defined and developed had she admitted to her emotions. Her stubbornness and his own… had kept her powers at bay, though their powers had fought for dominance.”

 

Kagome frowned. “What… and what?”

 

Kikyo sighed. “Kagome. You are not who you think you are.”