InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Centennial Hunger ❯ The Really Big Buck of the Really Big Bones ( Chapter 5 )

 

 

~*~

 

 

Chapter Five

 

 

The Really Big Buck of the Really Big Bones

 

 

 

(Please give a round of applause to my beta, Hellfyrre. *smooches* As always, if there is a screw up, it's most likely a correction that I missed. Since I didn't make an effort to be particularly specific with my wording, please let me know if it is lacking. Thanks in advance. Also, I am trying to get away from most Japanese words that some readers are unfamiliar with. There may or may not be SPOILERS in this chapter. ^_^ If you want to know how a chapter is coming along, visit my snow_fall livejournal)

 

Thanks!

 

Snowfall aka Hanyou Slave

 

 

 

 

 

Warm, wet, and…

 

“Shit! Stop pissing on me!”

 

“It's a good thing that I'm not the kind of person that would use this thing on a helpless puppy!” Inuyasha snarled, pointing the bone at Fluffy. “If you were yourself, I'd beat the shit out of you…then beat you some more!”

 

Inuyasha glared down at the unreasonable dog that had nearly driven him insane, what with all the golden showers and wandering off. At Fluffy's nosing directions, they had followed the river north. But, it was slow going, considering that the dog refused to allow Inuyasha to carry him and then all the stops for him to wash the piss off his pants, legs, and feet. If he thought he was fed up before, he might as well be completely loony now.

 

“Look, it is not my fault that you didn't have enough energy to complete the transformation. You did it to yourself. And what is this about your birthday? And why did you tell Kouga? Do you guys know each other? And…what the fuck is that look for!?”

 

When Sesshoumaru started barking, snapping and seemingly attempting to explain, or chew Inuyasha out, Inuyasha decided that now might be a fortuitous opportunity to start trying to better understand Sesshoumaru. The dog seemed to be in a more talkative mood after all. That being the case, he walked to the water's edge and did a quick clean before coming back to squat in front of the now sitting and obviously fuming dog.

 

“Do you know Kouga?”

 

He figured that the short, innocent ruff was a positive.

 

“Are you guys enemies?”

 

The short huff with Sesshoumaru tipping his nose into the air, Inuyasha decided, was a negative.

 

“Is this birthday thing a big secret or something?”

 

Silence that seemed to stretch forever

 

…and ever

 

…and ever

 

…and was that taffy going to break anytime soon? Because it might actually be edible.

 

“Well?”

 

“Ruff.”

 

“Well, if it's such a damn secret, why the fuck did you tell Kouga and why the hell would you tell him that we are mates!?”

 

Inuyasha could have sworn that Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes before going into a barking, snapping, and pacing tirade.

 

“Fine! You can tell me later, if you manage to get back to your two-legged form,” Inuyasha huffed and stood. “That is, if you deem me worthy to talk to, bastard. It's not like I need you or anyone else for that matter!”

 

And that was the truth!

 

It was at that moment that Sesshoumaru began coughing, gagging, and slobbering. Not that he hadn't been oozing long strings of the bloody stuff all day, but there was something different about this. When Inuyasha made the mistake of squatting down in front of the dog, he was instantly splattered with a spray of the icky, slimy, sticky stuff. Sesshoumaru gave his head a great shake and something flew from his mouth. While wiping the muck from his face, Inuyasha followed the direction of the projectile and hopped over to inspect it.

 

“You're losing your teeth? You lose your teeth on your birthday!?” Inuyasha asked, staring over at him before sliding down in front of Sesshoumaru, grabbing the dog's jaws and prying them open. “That sucks! How many have you lost? Not that I really care, or nothin'. I just don't like being slobbered on. Maybe I can pull them for you and put a stop to it right now.”

 

In place of about three of his fully grown back teeth, Inuyasha noticed new, smaller, gleaming white teeth. They would probably be grown in within a couple of hours, that is, if Sesshoumaru could heal himself as quickly as usual. Still, that had to be fairly painful. It was no wonder that Sesshoumaru was hurting and cranky. However, that did not give Sesshoumaru an excuse to be pissing all over his legs!

 

With a sigh, Inuyasha dropped Sesshoumaru's jaws. “Is this whole birthday thing going to get worse?”

 

Sesshoumaru gave Inuyasha what appeared to be a stare of “What do you think?” Inuyasha could only groan.

 

“Oh, yeah! Does this pissing on me have anything to do with marking your territory? Is that what you do to mark the boundaries of your land? Cause if it is, I am not your fucking property!”

 

He had only meant it as a barb. The thought that Sesshoumaru would even lower himself to respond to such a ridiculous question had never crossed his mind! He just wanted to know why Sesshoumaru insisted on pissing all over him.

 

Inuyasha could have sworn that Sesshoumaru gave him that same intense stare that said, `You've got a brain. Use it.'

 

“You piss on your borders!? That's just…just…weird,” Inuyasha stuttered at the primitive behavior of his brother. “Is that why you pissed on me?”

 

The responding “humph” gave Inuyasha the distinct impression that Sesshoumaru wouldn't waste his time.

 

“Well, thanks a lot. You really know how to make me feel important,” Inuyasha groused, not bothering to consider why not being marked would be such a big deal, even if it was just piss. “Of course, you've always been good at that, haven't you,” he muttered, feeling extremely hurt. “Well, I don't need you or anybody else!”

 

And he didn't need anyone, especially Sesshoumaru!

 

It wasn't like Sesshoumaru's treatment was new. The snob had always been letting Inuyasha know exactly how unworthy he was. Why should it matter to him now?

 

Except that it did, so his reaction was typical of when he definitely did not want his emotions discovered. He turned his back on Sesshoumaru, sat on his haunches, placed his knuckles on the ground in front of his legs, and allowed his bangs to drop down over his eyes.

 

He was the perfect picture of an impudent, moping dog, except that what he actually looked like was a red tent with a white flag on top, especially with the wind causing his long white mane to shift back and forth. That white flag positively screamed, “I surrender!”

 

Despite the fact that Sesshoumaru had started walking around him, brushing up against his sides and back, Inuyasha refused to look at the dog. Fuck Sesshoumaru. It's not like Inuyasha's help was appreciated. He should have known better.

 

Actually, he did know better.

 

It was Kagome who didn't have a clue.

 

It was all her fault.

 

Yeah.

 

That was his story and he was sticking to it.

 

Eventually, Sesshoumaru's light brushes became insistent urgings, shoving against Inuyasha until he nearly knocked over the sulking half-breed.

 

“Fuck off, Sesshoumaru. I don't even want to look at your ungrateful ass right now.”

 

Cold dog slobber attacked the underside of Inuyasha's chin and was smeared around with Sesshoumaru's nose.

 

“Damn it, Sesshoumaru!” Inuyasha yelled, jumping back and landing on his ass. “That was gross.”

 

Surprisingly, Sesshoumaru scrubbed his face against his right leg and started shuffling toward Inuyasha. Though he was behaving in a non-threatening manner, the dog definitely was not acting submissive. Still, when he reached Inuyasha, he strained his neck to carefully lick Inuyasha's chin and face.

 

And Inuyasha let him.

 

And he still didn't need anyone.

 

Nope, he was just fine.

 

All on his own.

 

However, the tongue bath seemed…almost affectionate. And he liked it. That didn't mean that Inuyasha wouldn't be giving his face a good scrubbing. What really surprised and shocked him was Sesshoumaru dropping with a slight groan and laying his head in Inuyasha's lap. What was he supposed to do now? Especially when he noticed that Sesshoumaru had started sniffing and nudging against his inner thigh.

 

Being wanted, or needed, did feel good.

 

But he didn't need it.

 

Especially not the nose in his groin!

 

“Oh no…not this again. Please don't tell me that you are going to do this in dog form. Ain't no way, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha whispered, hoping beyond hope that it wasn't true. “I swear, when this is all over, I am going to shove Tetsusaiga so far up your ass that it'll pass your nose.”

 

Despite all of his tough words, Inuyasha's brain was scrambling through his memories for a solution to this problem before it got out of hand and Sesshoumaru started dry humping him. While he lost himself in thought, and without even realizing it, he began scrubbing Sesshoumaru behind the ears. When he felt movement, he looked down to see Sesshoumaru's leg jiggling. It occurred to him that eliciting this response might not be the best thing to do and he promptly pulled his hand away from the dog's ears.

 

“Food, yeah. That usually calms you down. I'm going hunting, Sesshoumaru. Since you can't move all that fast, you're going to have to stay here. Why don't you go over there and I'll be back as soon as I can,” Inuyasha informed the dog as he jostled Sesshoumaru while standing and pointing to a darkened area at the treeline.

 

“Go on,” Inuyasha encouraged, waving his hands in a shooing motion.

 

Sesshoumaru just sat there, staring at Inuyasha as though Inuyasha had thoroughly lost his mind. And, it appeared that Sesshoumaru was definitely not going to obey.

 

“Sesshoumaru, don't be a pain in the ass,” Inuyasha huffed, picking up his dog and stalking toward the trees. “You'll be safer here.”

 

As soon as he set Sesshoumaru on the ground and started away, he heard a shuffling behind him.

 

“You can not hunt. Now get back over there,” Inuyasha commanded, leaving no room for argument. When Sesshoumaru continued toward him, Inuyasha sighed and repeated his previous actions.

 

“Stay!”

 

Again, he went through the same process.

 

“That's it! I don't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. On second thought, maybe I will enjoy it!”

 

Inuyasha scanned the area then stalked to an old tree that was being strangled to death by a thick vine. With his half-breed strength, it took all of two seconds to yank off a sturdy length.

 

Obviously understanding Inuyasha's intentions, Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed and he started to growl.

 

“You asked for it,” Inuyasha growled back as he stomped over to the uncooperative puppy, all the while using his claws to strip the vine into a suitable length of rope. “Like I said, you haven't given me a choice. I am going hunting and you are being a stubborn ass.”

 

The closer Inuyasha came to Sesshoumaru, the louder the dog snarled, growled and snapped. However, Inuyasha knew that he had the upper hand. Sesshoumaru was in no condition to challenge him.

 

When the dog high-tailed it and ran, Inuyasha took great delight in taking him down and whipping the rope around Sesshoumaru's neck and paws. What else could he do? It was the only way to keep Sesshoumaru from chewing the leash apart.

 

“Asshole! If I didn't know that you would try to chew that rope off, I wouldn't have to tie you up. I don't like leaving you defenseless, so I'll scout the area before I go. If I don't find anything soon, I'll come back and you'll have to be satisfied with fish,” Inuyasha supplied while he strolled back to the tree with large roots that would conceal Sesshoumaru. All he received were the expected snarls and every other menacing sound that Sesshoumaru could threaten him with.

 

“Fuck you. If you'd just done what I told you, this wouldn't be happening,” Inuyasha huffed as he laid Sesshoumaru down between the roots then walked off to find some leafy tree branches to camouflage all of that gleaming white fur.

 

“These will help hide you from anything that might come along. But, I'll kill anything around here before I leave,” Inuyasha said thoughtfully as he arranged the branches so that only Sesshoumaru's nose was clear of the leaves.

 

“Now don't get into any trouble! I'll be back soon.”

 

He really did hate leaving Sesshoumaru defenseless. Had he been completely helpless, it would scare the hell out of him. And that might make him transform into a killing machine. And oh…Sesshoumaru was going to be so ticked off that he would be lucky to get out of this alive.

 

With as much trouble as Sesshoumaru could get into, Inuyasha decided that this would be one of the shortest hunting trips he would ever experience. He hated being forced to treat Sesshoumaru like a plain dog. He wouldn't want to be treated like that. He hoped that it would be the last time.

 

All of these clashing feelings caused by this situation were getting in his way. He didn't want to feel bad for Sesshoumaru. He wanted to shove Tetsusaiga up Sesshoumaru's ass. The only thing to do was to occupy himself with something productive. Before he could go anywhere though, he had to wash all the blood and dog slobber off of his clothing, face and hands.

 

He was fairly certain that somewhere in that mess, there had to be dog snot too.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Inconceivable, unbridled, enraged fury didn't even begin to describe Sesshoumaru's mental state. After he had finally given in to the fates, had his mating interrupted, and…relieved his tension—there had been absolutely no other reason—by pissing on Inuyasha all day, the damn half-breed had actually hog-tied him! Him! The Lord of the Western Lands! He could almost envision his mother's wagging finger when Inuyasha had given that final command. Hah! Like he could even consider getting into trouble.

 

And! Learning that, during his growth cycle, attempting to transform without enough power would leave him a puppy was invaluable. However, he could do without the collar and leash!

 

Learning that his mate didn't even know his own language was infuriating. Inuyasha had completely misread his answers about pissing on the borders. He definitely did not! However, he couldn't say that Inuyasha had misread the next answer. This Sesshoumaru had no need to mark anything that belonged to him! And that was the end of the matter.

 

Ignorant, uneducated half-dog raised by humans!

 

It was bad enough that he had been forced to use Kouga as a translator with Inuyasha, but the wolf prince proved to be beyond his original assessment of Kouga's intellectual capacity. Kouga hadn't forgotten the old nursery tales and had put two and two together. Sesshoumaru's list of Things to Do for the day had not included, `Give the wolf too much information'.

 

Now he would be force to kill Kouga. And Kouga had earned his protection by saving Rin, even though the help was unnecessary. This was bad. There had to be an alternative. The option of killing Inuyasha was currently off the list. What else did that leave?

 

This Centennial was turning out to be the worst of his life. What else could possibly go wrong? No, he definitely did not want to know the answer to that question. Absolutely not. He would not give the fates further excuses to have more amusement at his expense. Those bitches were sadists. Had to be. There was no other explanation.

 

'And by the way Inuyasha, your nose is highly insufficient!' Sesshoumaru thought at his half brother when he smelled the unmistakable stench of rodent. Take note half-breed. I am going to kick your ass all the way from…' In mid-thought, the picture of Inuyasha's firm, white, gorgeous buttocks filled his mind and he decided that Inuyasha needed a lot of ass-kicking. …to the North, the South, the East and back to the West where I will kiss it and lick it and make it all better.

 

Sesshoumaru mentally grinned at the picture of his hand ghosting over that pale supple flesh, still a little pink from the ass-kicking. His paws tickled with the remembrance of the tactile sensation of gliding over Inuyasha's body, squeezing those delectable mounds of muscle, and…oh…

 

'Your days are numbered, Kagura! I will have my revenge!'

 

At this very moment, those bitches, the fates, were probably laughing at him. They had planned it all along. He just knew it. Get Sesshoumaru to succumb then deprive him and watch him squirm. When he passed to the other side, whatever that would be for him, he would hunt them down. Oh, he wouldn't kill the fates right away. No. He would torture them for centuries. Just the thought, and the pictures of the many horrors he could commit, did much to calm the fury of his injured pride.

 

Maybe he could find them before then? Scratch that particular pain in the ass now? The thought of Inuyasha standing next to him while he did it was even more satisfying… which brought to mind something that he never would have previously considered. Were the fates toying with Inuyasha as well, making him just as miserable?

 

The original priestess that Inuyasha had fallen in love with had pinned him to a tree where he had slept for fifty years, and she had died at the time of said pinning. That in and of itself was unbelievable and he had been a bit ticked off when he had found out about it. Not that he cared…it was just that Inuyasha had noble blood in his veins. And it was demeaning to that blood. Now, that priestess's re-incarnation had some kind of leash on Inuyasha. The boy catered to her like a guard dog. On top of all that, Inuyasha's growth had been stunted by starvation. He barely appeared to be an adult. And that certainly was not his fault.

 

Oh, what must their father think!? Had it been his responsibility to assure Inuyasha's health, safety, and security? That was up for debate. He hadn't wanted to breed outside of the species. The old man may have been powerful, but to breed with a human! That man was a pervert! And well, Inuyasha wasn't exactly a purebred.

 

This Sesshoumaru surely wouldn't be labeled a pervert!

 

He hadn't wanted a mate anyway. Well, at least not Inuyasha. Hell, he was only giving in because he was left with no other option!

 

It did help that Inuyasha smelled so delicious.

 

And he was most definitely very strong.

 

And he smelled fantastic.

 

And he at least had some of their father's blood running through his veins.

 

And he smelled really, really good.

 

And he was kind of cute too.

 

And his scent seemed to induce some kind of euphoria…because he smelled divine.

 

Inuyasha did smell good.

 

He really, really did.

 

But those opinions certainly did not mean that Sesshoumaru was a pervert!

 

Sesshoumaru wondered why he hadn't noticed it before. Was it an age thing? Flowers smell their best at full bloom. Maybe Inuyasha had bloomed somehow.

 

Or maybe…those fates had put a spell on Inuyasha to deceive him! Those bitches had better learn how to use a sword!

 

One thing he did know. He would be the one on top! Fuck being on the bottom. There was only so much that he would concede. This was not one of them! Inuyasha would simply learn to live with it. His mate, the half-breed, would learn to spread his legs, to bend over on his hands and knees, to open his mouth and…

 

Ooooh, that tingling itch was coming back. Not that it had ever left. All of the activity had simply preoccupied him. He should definitely stop thinking about those things. It only exacerbated his condition. And, well, being a horny puppy was…weird. Red against white and slick, and sticking to his fur. Damn, he needed his brother!

 

'Where is that half-breed!?'

 

Taking a sniff, he determined that his brother wasn't anywhere nearby and the rodents had not left the area either. If he hadn't hated them before their attack on Inuyasha, he certainly did now. His first goal, once he was untied, was to hunt down every last one of the little fuckers and eat them.

 

Having a goal was a good thing. Perhaps his mind could stop flitting from one place to the other and he could actually focus on something constructive. Ruminating on all the different processes that could be used to track and kill squirrels—but not before he chomped on Inuyasha's hand of course—and picturing the results, kept him well occupied.

 

It also brought his hunger to the forefront. Inuyasha would pay if he did not bring back one hell of a good-sized meal. The more he thought about food, the more he wanted to catch those squirrels. And the more he thought about chomping on the furry little rodents, the hungrier he became. It was a vicious cycle that burned a hole in his stomach.

 

So, there were three objectives. Inuyasha, food, squirrels. No. Inuyasha, squirrels, food and more food and…

 

A buck.

 

A really big buck.

 

A really big buck with really big bones.

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

When Inuyasha dumped the `Really Big Buck of the Really Big Bones' a few feet from the river's edge, he had no idea that Sesshoumaru was drooling a lake, or that he had actually done something that would please his brother far beyond barks. He was in too much of a hurry to get Sesshoumaru out of those bonds and over to the food to think of anything beyond removing the vision of the poor tied up puppy that had seared his vision throughout the entire hunt.

 

It was no mystery to him that Sesshoumaru seemed to become more coherent after having his belly filled and maybe a meal would give Sesshoumaru the strength to return to his bipedal form. After all, that first night that he had been molested, Sesshoumaru had only eaten half of a boar. He didn't want Sesshoumaru to hate him for allowing another one of those wonderfully erotic, tempting, thrilling episodes. Not if he could help it.

 

Which went against everything that he had begun to crave. Oh, the caresses, kisses, fondling, burning heat, sweaty skin, warm mouth and hot pink tongue, and…and oh, so not going there right now.

 

“Hey, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha whispered as he threw the branches to the side. “I brought ya something that you're really going to like.”

 

Guilt hit him like a ton of bricks when he saw Sesshoumaru's face lying in a puddle of icky red slime. He didn't even protest the glare that he received. He would have been extremely upset if someone had done this to him. Getting mauled a bit, or maybe a lot, would be just desserts.

 

“I'm so sorry. We'll get this cleaned up and get you fed. Okay?” he whispered in a tone that begged for forgiveness.

 

Inuyasha spoke softly while scooping Sesshoumaru from the ground and trotting to the water's edge. It wasn't difficult to notice Sesshoumaru's attention on the buck. He had to re-adjust his arms to keep the neck-craning, wide-eyed puppy from falling out of his careful embrace.

 

“You'll get it soon. Promise. I promise.”

 

This was so bad. He hoped that the buck was reward enough to gain Sesshoumaru's forgiveness. He would never have done this to anyone had he had the choice. It was wrong on so many levels.

 

Without knowing whether or not Sesshoumaru would make a run for the buck, Inuyasha decided to wash Sesshoumaru's face before untying him.

 

“Yuck, are you going to stop this anytime soon? Maybe I should pull all of your teeth and get it over with.”

 

Now there was something that he could seriously consider! However, he might have to hog-tie Sesshoumaru again. That was an obstacle that he could deal with later.

 

Once the face washing was done, he took a deep, shuddering breath and began to untie his brother, stroking the stiff leg muscles in the process while fully expecting that his big brother might try to kill and eat him instead of the buck. He so did not want to have to use that bone.

 

As soon as the ropes were off, the dog jumped him. Just as he was about to grab the dog by the scruff, it started licking his face up one side and down the other. Then it just took off and buried its teeth in the hide of the deer and started tugging.

 

Inuyasha couldn't help it. He grinned as a lump rose in his throat. He had finally done something that made Sesshoumaru happy enough to love on him. Or to at least thank him. The excitement of finally having done something right made him want to jump for joy! Yes!

 

Victory dance!

 

And to top it all off, Kagome wouldn't be making him eat worms for two days once he returned to his little group! No unholy purifying flames! No face plants! No flower gardens growing out of his nose! Yes!

 

It didn't even occur to him to question his extreme reaction to Sesshoumaru's acceptance and approval.

 

And, it didn't mean that he needed Sesshoumaru, or anyone else for that matter. Not in the least.

 

His little inner happy dance was rudely interrupted by coughing, gagging, and spitting. Choking to death was not on the menu. Not today and not ever!

 

“Sesshoumaru!”

 

Racing to his brother, he dropped down on his knees and grabbed his brother's jaws. Blood dripped out over his fingers while he swept them around inside of Sesshoumaru's mouth. After not finding anything, he began to gently massage the swollen, red gums while scanning the area for lost teeth. Two remained in the buck's skin and a couple more had fallen to the ground. When he looked back at Sesshoumaru, he saw the dog's eyes had closed in apparent relief.

 

Just another thing that he was doing right today. He owed Kouga, big time. That didn't mean that he wouldn't pulverize the wimpy wolf, but he had a debt to pay none-the-less. He always paid his debts. As long as it didn't involve sex. Nope.

 

He was saving that for…

 

“You are turning me into a pervert, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha offhandedly commented while he pulled his fingers from Sesshoumaru's mouth and flicked away the offensive slime.

 

“How does it feel to be the weakling now, huh?” Inuyasha asked, regaining some of his composure after his uncharacteristic bout of concern.

 

And what was that little happy dance all about anyway? The only thing that made him happy was Ramen. And more Ramen. And the pretty pink jewel shards. All of the shards of the Shikon Jewel. The fact that he had absolutely none of them was depressing. His life's goal was in the hands of that bastard Naraku! And Kagome…who had the Ramen. At this very moment, he was Ramenless and shardless. So, he shouldn't be happy at all.

 

But he was happy…and proud. He had brought down the `Really Big Buck of the Really Big Bones' and Sesshoumaru loved it.

 

Inuyasha sighed while he used his claws to strip away the buck's hide, but not before collecting the teeth. He then sliced off a few pieces of meat and laid them out on the skin of the buck. Sesshoumaru had been too busy eyeing the meat to notice Inuyasha collecting the teeth that had fallen on the ground.

 

“I'm gonna go wash your slobber off my face. Be back in a minute.”

 

Scrubbing his face was not Inuyasha's first priority. He swished his hand through the water, efficiently cleaning the discarded teeth then stuck them into a leather pouch that he was keeping inside of his red firerat robe. If he got nothing else out of this, he would at least take a memento with him.

 

Even though it did appear a bit demented.

 

Why should he care? Couldn't be any worse than his half-breed status. He had to stop and think on that one for a minute. Nope, no worse for the wear. Not that he would have cared one way or the other. Other people's brains, or lack thereof, were not his concern.

 

While he washed his face, he heard Sesshoumaru gagging and spitting again. He smiled at his luck. This was turning out to be a really good day for the abused half-breed.

 

Especially since he didn't need Sesshoumaru, or anyone else, or even the discarded teeth.

 

His next chore, slicing off strips of meat then hand-feeding them to Sesshoumaru was actually a very rewarding experience. It gave him even more pride in his kill. The best part was the warm and tingly feeling that was swelling in his chest, flitting through his abdomen and somewhat settling in the region of his groin, while he watched the trust that Sesshoumaru was displaying. It was like having his own little pet.

 

Quite suddenly, unavoidable thoughts entered his brain and he found himself gradually lifting the slices of meat higher and higher until Sesshoumaru was practically forced to jump for them. He really didn't see it as evil. It was just all fun and games. After all, Kagome had thrown a stick and before he knew it, he was fetching it. He wondered if Sesshoumaru had any of those same instincts as well.

 

Apparently, his penchant for idiocy had returned full force and he found himself flat on his back with his throat gripped between the massive jaws of one pissed off, rather large puppy dog.

 

“Grg…gah…sorry…gurgle…let…grk …go,” Inuyasha choked, his hand inadvertently grabbing the conveniently nearby bone.

 

One good fanged, huff-of-slobber squeeze later and he was set free. He might as well take a bath in that shit. What he saw when he finally sat up set the hair on the back of his neck bristling and all thoughts of removing the goo fled his mind. Sesshoumaru was actually `pointing' toward the forest and growling. The entire top of Sesshoumaru's body was one stiff, straight line, including his head and tail.

 

“What is it, boy?” Inuyasha asked without even thinking.

 

Sesshoumaru's head snapped to the side and Inuyasha could swear that a dog had just given him the infamous “Die!” glare.

 

“Well excuse me, Sesshoumaru. You can't expect me to be around you all day and not think of you as a dog, but I'll try to remember that you're…um…the Lord Dog,” Inuyasha whispered before turning his attention back to the woods.

 

It was a good thing that he had or he may not have been able to track Sesshoumaru's movements. The next instant found Inuyasha disappearing into the dark forest, tracking his older brother and scenting for whatever it was that had Sesshoumaru on edge, not even aware that he was carrying his brother's favorite weapon. It didn't take him long to catch up with his brother, who was creeping low to the ground. Inuyasha followed suit and his nose soon picked up the scent of...

 

Rodents!

 

Demon!

 

Possessed!

 

Fucking!

 

Rabid!

 

Squirrels!

 

 

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

 

Reviewer Recognition

I Lurv You All

 

 

AFF

 

 

Princess Sin

Yay! You laughed! Hm, dunno if I answered the potty training question in this chapter. If not, it's in the next!

 

c-loke

Yeah, I'm really disappointed in those two too. Little jerks, procrastinating. But…what can a puppy do? Glad you enjoyed it!

 

Death Warranty

*smiles* Sorry that this update took so long. Eh, well, the bed time story explanations will have to wait for awhile. We can't have Inu knowing just how bad it's going to get now, can we? ^_^

 

Demitria Miriam

I'm glad that you don't blow sunshine up people's `places'. LOL Yeah, such a terrible birthday, but remember, it only happens once every hundred years! I was worried about `Fluffy' having been over-used, but I wanted it. So…screw everyone else! Beta's are awesome and so taken for granted. I love mine. I would huggle and cuddle her if I could. Of course, she might have to be in puppy form for that. LOL I'm happy that I'm updating faster too. ^_^< i>

 

DemonGoddess061

Oh yeah, he is very possessive of his Fluff. And he doesn't even know by how much. If we aren't shown how much in chapter six, we definitely will in chapter seven. That's a promise!

 

Alphonse

Glad I could make you laugh and hope that this update wasn't too long in the making. But, it just means that the next chapter is almost finished. ^_^

 

Merely Truth

Aw, you're a faithful reader. *big grin and fat head* LOL Thank you so much. Yep, Sesshoumaru is trying to stay sane, but he will drift in and out. What is `Thank You” in French?

 

Kibou30

I took out those two reviews for you. I've done the same thing. Ah, we will find out about nursery tales and bad little wolves, but much later. ^_^ This will not be our last encounter with the bad guys. Yup.

 

Jenny

I have the cookies and milk. I'll share with you. ^_^ And we can watch Inuyasha dvd's together! Thanks!</ i>

 

Death Angel

Ah, all good things come to those who wait. ^_^ Glad to see your enthusiasm

 

SP777

I hope that I've explained the puppy thing in this chapter. Can't remember. Oh well. ^_^ Yeah, I love turning the tables on the Inuyasha uke fandom. Besides, Sesshoumaru is the one that actually looks like a girl. LOL Did you ever find Scarecrow?

 

Aoi-sama

Yeah, that Kagura is a real bitch, interrupting them like that. Puppy Sess had a lot of fun in this chapter, didn't he. He will have more fun in the next. Heheh.

 

Bambigirl

I know what you mean about constantly checking for updates. And, I'm sad to say that I'm inconsistent, which is why I have started using my livejournal to let readers know how the next chapter is coming along. The url is under the author's note. You'll be happy to note that I didn't kill off any cartoon characters since my last post. Heheh

 

gen

I love twists and try to come up with them as often as possible. Glad that you like the new take on Inu/Sess. It's not that popular.

 

HPTR Fangirl

Thanks for continuing to review. Giggles and laughs are a good thing, though I'm sure that there weren't as many in this one. Oh, I know that exact scene that you are talking about in `Mask'! That was a great one. You will get more of similar stuff in the next one.

 

KiniroKitsune

I'm so glad that you don't see `Fluffy' as a worn out name for Sesshoumaru. I figured that Kouga, having been helpful in other places, wouldn't turn down helping a poor, vulnerable puppy. But, as always, he took off. Yup, Forrest Gump!

 

previously_recorded

Yay! So many of the authors that I admire are reading my work, including you. It sends tingles and warm fuzzies all through my chest. I hope that this chapter is well written too, but I didn't work so hard using a thesaurus and all. I just used what is normal for everyday language, at least for the most part. How did I do?

 

Titaness

I apologize for not having too much funny stuff in this chapter, but I hope that the next will be better. So, was this chapter as fluid as the last? *wrings hands* Oh yeah, where is the update on one of my current favorite comedies, if not THE favorite? Huh? Huh? BTW, I nominated you over at IYFG. So, I want my cookie, another chappie from you!

 

riddlestar

Heheh, I like role reversal, just for spite. I'm a bad person. ^_^ I hope that your questions will eventually be answered.

 

Passing Reader

Don't worry about reviewing. As long as the story has put a smile on your face, I'm happy. ^_^ Sorry that this one wasn't as amusing. I hope that the next one will be. Ah, vacation; wish I could take one.</ i>

 

Lyn

Yeah, puppy Sess is cute, but for how long? I'm evil. And we can't give away that myth to Inuyasha just yet.

 

Rain

Alright! Made ya laugh on chapter four! That's the goal. I hope that there was something in this chapter that made you laugh. I'm kinda worried about this chapter.

 

paranoid

Yeah, Inu might have taken advantage, but Sesshoumaru was making it almost impossible for him not to. LOL Kagura was just drawn that way. Was that a line from Roger Rabbit? Cool. You have to remember that Inu is half human and when he wasn't being raised by humans, he was alone. So, there was no one to teach him anything doggie.

 

Holly

Ah, my sweet little puppy. Was this fast enough? ^_^

 

 

 

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*Disclaimer*

 

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.

 

 

 

 

 

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