InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Centennial Hunger ❯ Dog Dicks & Big Sticks ( Chapter 15 )

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Chapter 15

 

Dog Dicks & Big Sticks

 

 

(BRANE is a word; google it and have fun. Thank Kiten Kaiba for help with the name of Inuyasha's new sword attack and for a read through with advice on smoothing out a couple of places. The sword attack name would have been wimpy without her. And, thank Izzanami for giving it a once over, finding an error, and giving me thumbs up to post! My brain has been so frazzled and disconnected that I was afraid that there would be something major wrong with it. ^_^)

 

 

`I'm sure that Sesshoumaru didn't know that these trinkets would destroy the power of the subjugation beads.  Who could have known that the jewelry made from Sesshoumaru's teeth would have that effect?' Inuyasha thought while he struggled to remove himself from Sesshoumaru's strangling octopus hold.

 

No one noticed Kagura's feather sneaking onto the scene.  She had been hiding behind a cloud of said hell`s wasps.  She had crept up to the side of her master while he had risen from the water, and was content to watch the proceedings.  She would have been more content if she'd had some insect killer that would extinguish her so-called father, especially if it made him writhe in bitter agony in the process.  A smirk crossed her ruby lips as she envisioned eight spider legs flexing in the throes of death.

 

`Maybe this new attack of Inuyasha's will be the end of that bastard,' she mused.

 

Naraku stood in triumph without a spot of water on his new outfit.  Well, with the exception of that dripping off the one water-logged furball that he held in his wickedly long talons.  It appeared as though the rat knew that it had barely escaped a good skewering.  Its eyes were wide and it was ineffectually clawing at the bony hand that held it captive.  It truly shouldn't have been having so much fun at its master's expense.

 

“Here, Kagura.  Take care of my pet,” Naraku purred as he lobbed the nasty creature out of his bubble gum barrier, up and over to his right.

 

Kagura's eyes widened in surprise that Naraku had detected her so quickly.  Unfortunately, for her, flying feather canoes were not the safest way to skim the airwaves.  As soon as the sopping wet rat impersonator landed at her feet and on the floor of her beautiful white feather, destroying its impeccable beauty, she began hopping around the creature that was scrambling to avoid her tap dancing feet.  High-pitched squeaks and eeps filled the area as everyone watched the show.

 

`This is ridiculous,' the pompous villain fumed as Inuyasha pried himself out of Sesshoumaru`s arms and legs.  `I'm being completely ignored!  Well, we'll see about that.'

 

Naraku's presumption was far from the truth.  One furry fox kit and one fire cat had enough sense to keep an eye on the real threat.  As soon as tentacles burst through the bubblegum barrier, Shippou gave a shout and Kilala charged at the tentacles, slicing them in half with her claws and biting them with her massive maw.

 

`Ow, ow, ow, ow!' Naraku mentally chanted as the ends of his tentacles sizzled and fried from the fire cat's flames.

 

“Hold that thought,” Inuyasha mumbled to his horny brother before he jumped up, yanked his sword to the fore, and raised it for an attack.  “Naraku!  I'm through screwing around!” he declared.

 

“Humph, that's not what it looked like to me,” Naraku snorted and sent out another barrage of slimy tentacles.

 

Inuyasha's face burst into red, horrified flames.  Once he was able to pull his jaw from the ground, he let out a barrage of profanity that rivaled the master of hell himself.  “You fucking asshole!  You're such a perverted, freaking bastard!”

 

“Oh my,” Naraku taunted.  “Isn't that calling the skillet black...or something like that,” Naraku said with a confused frown.  “You shouldn't throw glass in a stone hut!  Hah!”  Naraku grinned at his cunning remarks.

 

“Huh?” Inuyasha brain-farted then realization opened his eyes wide at the lack of knowledge Naraku was displaying, right before he began laughing his ass off, which caused his sword to jiggle and spit.

 

Naraku snarled at Inuyasha's insulting laughter, though he didn't know what he had done that could have possibly amused the half-breed.  “Insolent half-breed,” he snarled and sent an extra-extra large tentacle whipping toward the laughing hyena.

 

“Ah!” Inuyasha shouted and leaped to the side.

 

“Aargh!” Naraku howled in fury and loosed an army of lower level youkai to attack Inuyasha and his cohorts.

 

A particularly large tentacle headed straight for Inuyasha's balls.  Taking matters into his own hands, Sesshoumaru jumped forward and dug the claws of his right hand into the offending limb.  Damn!  He broke a claw!  Strike that.  Double damn!  He broke all five!  So much for that strategy.  At least, he'd managed to save his mate's danglies.

 

“Get out of the way, Sesshoumaru!” Inuyasha yelled as he raised his sword for another swing. 

 

Pfft!  As though Sesshoumaru, in his current state, could understand Inuyasha.  Ignoring the indecipherable noise of his mate, Sesshoumaru rushed  forward, implementing his new plan.  While stomping tentacles that were low to the ground, Sesshoumaru caught others and began swiftly tying them into knots.  None of them would ever make it to his mate! Those dangly bits belonged to him and him alone!

 

“Fuck!”  Inuyasha exclaimed in frustration and shot forward to hack at those tentacles making it past his mate.  “Do you have a death wish!?”

 

Hundreds of low level youkai appeared and attacked the small band.  Between Kagome, Sango, Kilala, and Miroku, the beasts were being systematically destroyed.  Even little Shippou was able to scare off a few of the more cowardly beasties.

 

Inuyasha had his hands full protecting the stupid dog that was gradually making his way toward Naraku.  Finally, Inuyasha caught up with his brother and yanked the idiot behind him. 

 

“Get back!” he yelled at his mate as he raised red Tetsusaiga.  “Red is better than pink any day!  Oh, sorry, Sesshoumaru,” he mumbled before swinging a red Tetsusaiga, effectively splitting the barrier that surrounded Naraku.

 

In a way, it was a sad thing.  Inuyasha would no longer be able to play ping-pong with his new `sit' technique.

 

“Typical,” Miroku sighed and secured his wind tunnel against Naraku's buzzing insects.  Those damn hell wasps made his most powerful weapon useless.

 

"Check it out!" Inuyasha called to his friends.

 

Tetsusaiga powered up and green slime hissed as stringy snot dripped to the ground.  Simultaneously, his toothy trinkets glowed the same color. 

 

“Heh, watch this!  Green Acidic Mucus Laceration Annihilation!!” Inuyasha shouted as he swung his blade.  'Damn, that's a mouthful; almost didn't make it in time to pulverize that tentacle.'

 

Streams of green slime, with interspersed balls of snot shot toward Naraku.  The acidic goop sank through Naraku's tentacles and clothes, burning lines through the cloth and muck.

 

“You're ruining everything!” Naraku practically screamed.  “My beautiful clothes!  Bastard.  You'll pay for this,” Naraku snarled as more tentacles burst from the writhing mass and headed straight for Sesshoumaru.

 

Inuyasha couldn't swing his blade around in any random direction of his choice.  That was the problem with snot.  It limited his ability to strike and left Sesshoumaru fending for himself.  Inuyasha had noticed that Sesshoumaru's claws, though sturdier than they had been, where still a bit delicate.  Breaking them on Naraku's tentacles was proof of that.  His left arm wasn't yet quite up to par either.  It didn't help that his normal magical powers had taken a vacation.  The best he could do was dance around the damn snakes, taking careful swipes here and there.

 

While Inuyasha was concentrating on doing as much damage as possible with controlling the direction of his blessed snot, Sesshoumaru was fighting a losing battle. 

 

The two dog boys had become separated and the ground beneath Sesshoumaru was becoming completely covered in the eels of Naraku's tentacles until he no longer had free ground on which to play hopscotch.  This was just the scenario that Naraku needed and he bound the beautiful dog of the moon and dragged him kicking, snarling, biting and clawing all the way from the right of the battlefield up against his hard chest.

 

It wasn't until the mostly brownish green bubble holding Sesshoumaru had been secured against Naraku's body that everyone realized they now had to deal with a body shield.  Everyone attacked those places that were safe from harming the shield, but that was getting them nowhere.  Every time a tentacle was slashed to bits, new ones formed.

 

“Shoot the hostage!” Sango suddenly yelled.

 

It took Inuyasha a moment to process exactly what the professional hitwoman had just said. 

 

“What the fuck!? Are you insane?”

 

Hiraikotsu streaked across the sky, headed straight for Naraku's torso, and a direct trajectory to Sesshoumaru. 

 

“You fucking bitch!” Inuyasha practically screamed.

 

Kagome followed Sango's lead.  Drawing back her bow string, an arrow flared with flames of purity and shot straight toward Sesshoumaru's heart.

 

“Noooo!” Inuyasha yelled and slung snot into the path of the arrow, successfully melting the skewer.  “Bitch!”

 

A tentacle shot into the air and smacked Sango's boomerang, sending it back toward the slayer.  Kilala managed to dodge just in time to save Sango's head from being lopped off.

 

Miroku was holding his own.  No!  Not his balls.  Between his fry-baby sutras and his razor sharp staff, he was taking out his fair share of Naraku's minions.

 

Kouga finally made his appearance and blew onto the shore, his whirlwind further upsetting the air currents.  Between the rat dance and the disturbance caused by Kouga's entrance, Kagura simply could not keep up the act of grace and lost her balance, tipping over the edge of her feather and plummeting straight into her enemy's arms.

 

“Gotcha now, wind bitch,” Kouga said with pride that he certainly didn't deserve.

 

Kagura's eyes widened in disbelief when she realized who had caught her.  `Damn, if I'd only had a bit more time to tease him along,' she thought as she attempted to devise a plan.  The only recourse was to tell the truth, or rather, the partial truth.  “Naraku made me do it!  I swear!”

 

It was then that a wet thump landed on her belly and she began screaming her lungs out.  That scrawny beast had fallen off her feather and landed right on her belly.  Abruptly, she was smacking the thing then trying to climb over Kouga's shoulder, screeching all the way.

 

“Get it off!  Get it off!”  The rat was dangling from her kimono by its claws and managed to find a hold inside the dress.  Screaming louder, Kagura swore, “I swear, Naraku made me do it!”  The rat had made it up to her knees and she was squirming like a fish out of water.  “Just get it off!  I didn't want to kill your people!  Ah!” 

 

By the time it had made its freaky crawl to mid-thigh, she had managed to get her butt right up into Kouga's face where he could get a really good sniff of her breezy scent. 

 

“I swear, I'll do anything, just...Get.  It.  Off!”

 

Kouga's eardrums were about to burst, but he was enjoying watching the bitch squirm.  Well, his eyes weren't the only thing enjoying her fear.  Her lithe frame twisted and rubbed all over his chest and hung off his shoulder.  He almost chuckled over the fact that she hadn't realized that he'd divested her of the rat before it could get above her ankle and it was actually his claws tormenting the screams from her powerfully windy lungs.  He couldn't give up the ruse just yet though.  She deserved everything he dished out.

 

“You'll do anything?” Kouga asked, the wheels of his limited brain working over-time to come up with a valid excuse to keep the wind bitch alive…and sitting on a particularly sensitive piece of his aching anatomy.

 

“Yes!  Yes!  Just get it off.” 

 

By now, her screams were beginning to turn into sobs.  He smelled the tears streaking her cheeks and started to feel a bit like a louse, but he couldn't stop the torture now.  She had it coming.  Actually, he should have killed her already, but he'd been chasing her pretty tail for far too long to have it over so quickly.  She owed him, big time.

 

The supposed rat scrabbled up over the back of her thigh and onto the globe of her ass and she let out a shriek that pierced through Kouga's skull.  His grip on the back of her kimono loosened just long enough for her to make it over his shoulder and to begin sliding down his back.  Her legs went up and up, material went down and down, showing beautifully sculpted legs. Just before her unmentionables became mentionable, he managed to grab her by the ankle and swirl around to catch her by the waist.

 

Kagura was a mess.  Her normally prim black hair had fallen out of its binding and was cascading in long, shimmering waves to the sand.  She was still twisting and turning and kicking her feet.  It was almost as though she were in a trance.

 

“Whoa there!  Whoa!  I gotcha,” Koga huffed as he tried to pull her upright.  The woman was about to hyperventilate.  Being the wind witch, one would think she had more control over her lungs.

 

Kouga flipped her around to face him, but wasn't expecting her to fall forward and have their lips crash together.  He groaned as her scent wafted up his nostrils.  For being such a bitter bitch, her taste was as sweet as candy.  He could have never guessed such a thing when he had been chasing her from afar.  The thought of his long dead comrades, blew from his mind on a flavorful breeze of sweet apple dumplings.

 

While Kouga was accidentally taking advantage of the wind bitch, Naraku was getting serious, shooting dozens of tentacles from within his barrier.  Inuyasha's sword had resumed its green acid snot.  With each swing, many of Naraku's tentacles dissolved into steaming piles of greenish brown puddles.

 

From high in the trees, an unseen peanut gallery had been observing the fight since Tetsusaiga had received a helping hand from the great beyond.

 

“Yes!  Go get him boys!” Inupapa shouted when he saw Inuyasha's Green Acidic Mucus Laceration Annihilation attack. He grinned widely at his son's accomplishment.  “That's my boys,” he added while puffing out his chest and smiling at his mates.

 

Sessmom bopped him upside the head with her fan.  “Quiet!  What did you expect? They defeated Sou'unga.  This is a piece of cake,” she huffed.

 

“That's right, Dear,” Izayoi concurred.  “You shouldn't be so surprised.  They do have your blood, after all.”

 

Inupapa's chest puffed out even more as his ego swelled further.

 

“Oh, please,” Sessmom groaned and began fanning herself.

 

“You two can't get enough of me and you know it,” Inupapa retorted with a smirk. 

 

“Why, Sweetheart, you know that's the exact reason that you are being nagged, even after your death,” Sessmom said with a roll of her eyes.

 

Izayoi sighed.  Those two were always at it.  “I still love you, darling,” she reassured Inupapa, to the chagrin of Sessmom.

 

“Thank you, Dear,” he returned with a peck to her cheek, earning a huff from the other woman.  She wasn't about to boost his ego, at least, not in public.  Well, as public as ghosts could be.

 

Inupapa turned back to the skirmish just in time to see his eldest leaving another set of claws embedded in a tentacle that had managed to wrap around the young man's chest.  With a sigh, the ghost made himself comfortable between his two women.  He had no doubts that his sons would defeat the arrogant, designer, geek freak.

 

Sesshoumaru squirmed inside of the wrappings of Naraku's gathering tentacles.  The slime coating the appendages stunk and he wanted no part of them.  Even so, his aching muscles were not happy with all the struggling.  Everything wanted to pop and groan.  The strenuous activity of mating was one thing, but this was just a pain in the neck, literally.

 

Somewhere in that stench, he heard a heart beat.  Instinct took over and Sesshoumaru rammed his right hand into the very spot that the sound was coming from.  He grinned as a large organ was ripped out and lay still beating in his hand.  `Shocked' could not describe what he was feeling when he looked up to find that freakishly alive face wickedly grinning at him.  Well, the heart appeared to be fairly useless in his endeavor, so he just tossed it away, unaware of just what he'd just accomplished.

 

Kagura's heart landed with a nasty splat in the middle of her back and immediately sank into her body.  She tore her lips away from Kouga as she took her first true breath and felt her heart pumping blood through her body.  Thu-thump, Thu-thump.  In her giddy elation, she smiled up at Koga, nearly blinding him with her enthusiasm.

 

“I have my heart back! “ she squealed as she shoved away from him and began dancing around, her toes barely touching the ground.  “I a-am free-ee, Oh so-o free-ee,” she sing-songed while wriggling her tush.

 

`Heh, that's what you think!' Kouga thought with a smirk as his eyes followed the poochy delicacy that was her hiney.

 

Things were getting rather intense for the dog boys.  Despite Sesshoumaru having freed an arm, Naraku had managed to wrap more tentacles around him.  If Inuyasha didn't do something quick, his mate would soon be cocooned in the mess.  Naraku wasn't the only thing that Inuyasha was fighting.  Dodging purifying arrows was not helping.  Normally, Kagome was a pretty good shot, but the wind didn't seem to be on her side.  That, or she was seriously pissed at him.

 

“Would you puhleease hold your fire!?” Inuyasha shouted at her as he ducked beneath a tentacle and an arrow that were on a collision course.  “Fuck!  Sesshoumaru!”

 

With Sesshoumaru being used as a body shield, Inuyasha couldn`t use his most powerful attacks.  Other than hack his way through the mass of squirming tentacles, he didn't know what to do.  In addition, he wasn't sure that Kagome wouldn't purify his brother along with their enemy.  Seeing his mate struggle was killing him, but Naraku's tentacles were everywhere, and the number seemed to be growing by the second.

 

“Fuck!  Sesshoumaru!  Do something!” he shouted at his squirming mate before dodging another arrow.  “Damn it, Kagome!  Be careful, you'll shoot Sesshoumaru!”

 

Inuyasha could have sworn that he heard Kagome snort.  'She wouldn't.  Would she?' he asked himself, incredulous.  'No way.  I refuse to believe that she would be that much of a vindictive bitch.  She's not like Naraku!'

 

Spinning around, he stared at his companion.  She appeared to aiming right at Sesshoumaru!  “Kagome!  Noooo!”

 

“I'm going to hit him right in the middle of his forehead!  Just watch me, Inuyasha,” she scowled.  “No one takes away my Kukuku clock until I say so!  Die, Naraku!”

 

Fortunately, a strong gust of wind took the arrow off course and it only fried a couple of low level youkai that had been sneaking up behind Sango and Kilala.

 

With all the distractions, including rubbing up against a very nice backside, Naraku hadn't anticipated clawless fingers ripping into his torso and yanking out a nearly completed, black jewel. 

 

"Me, me, me!" Shippou shouted above the din and waved his arms at the taiyoukai.

 

Naraku snatched at the hand that held his prize, but was too slow.  The orb went sailing through the air to the left of the battlefield.  Shippou was its first victim.  As the black ball pinged him in the forehead, he went down. His eyes rolling into the back of his head and a lump rose right between his eyes.  From there, the evil bauble shot to the shoulder of one zombie boy and with a thump sucked a life-saving jewel shard from his back.  This one didn't go down.  No, he was one of the weird cases that stayed standing. Of course, Naraku had always been full of lies. Perhaps the boy hadn't been a zombie after all.

 

Somehow, the jewel seemed to have gained momentum and shot straight toward the perverted monk.  He never saw it coming, but he sure felt it, right between his balls.  He gave out a high squeak and fell to the ground, groaning.  The urge to slap a sutra on his aching dangly bits was one of the best decisions he'd ever made.  He would have many children in the days to come.  The cloth of his robes didn't seem to have slowed the marble's momentum.  It was almost as though it had a life of its own.  Sango's Hiraikotsu ended up with a hole right though the middle, encouraging her in her decision to become barefoot and pregnant for many years to come.  After the fiery blast through the weapon, the jewel traveled on to bitchslap Kikyou into a reality warp. She traveled through a maelstrom of branes before returning, fully alive.

 

Apparently, the jewel didn't feel that Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru needed any help and sailed high up into the sky before falling from a great height.  Everyone, except for Shippou of course, watched as the tiny dot shot straight down toward Kagome's face.  In a blink, it was gone.  Kagome gave a petite burp before her body glowed pink and then there was a little puff of air just as she disappeared back to her own time, drooling on a desk in her classroom before Hojo so kindly nudged her shoulder to wake her to a severe case of indigestion.

 

Beneath the mass of tentacles, a mound began to rise...right where Sesshoumaru's groin should be.  Panic rose inside of Inuyasha's chest. What if Naraku was molesting his mate?  It couldn't happen right there in front of him, and not in front of all of his friends.  While trying to come up with a plan to get Sesshoumaru away from Naraku, hopefully, before Kagome fucked up and fried the dog's ass, he scanned the area and found Sango and Miroku still busy with the dwindling legions of lower youkai.  After a moment of considering the possibilities, he decided that he had to risk the purifying arrows.  He was the only one who could save his mate. 

 

“You bastard!  Let go of my mate,” he yelled, rushing toward Naraku.  He would tear that asshole a new one with his very claws if he had to.  Even as he rushed forward, the mound grew longer and longer.  Finally, with a roar from Sesshoumaru, it broke free and something long and silver shot up into the air then began to fall, shiny metal glinting in the afternoon sun.  Inuyasha watched, stunned as Sesshoumaru reached out a hand and caught a brand new sword in his clawless hand.  Immediately, Sesshoumaru's eyes turned a sweltering golden. 

 

“I have the power!”

 

'Now I know I'm insane.  The sky is raining swords,' Inuyasha vaguely thought.

 

“That's my boy!  Do your papa proud!” Inupapa shouted, jumping to his feet and jutting his fist up into the air.

 

“Did you truly need to make this so obscene?” Sessmom asked, exasperated with her mate's tactics.

 

“I didn't set it up.  It was the Fates,” Inupapa mock pouted.  Seriously, how was he supposed to know that Sesshoumaru's sword would exit through his dick.  However, now that he thought about it, he wasn't all that surprised.  The boy had been endowed with one helluva monster cock.  Inupapa grinned with pride.

 

Lightening bolts shot from the sword as Sesshoumaru held it aloft.  Through all the electricty, no one saw the black dot in the sky that kept increasing in size as it fell.  Sesshoumaru was the first to see it, but only seconds before it was impaled on his brand new, shiny sword.

 

`A gray skull?  My virgin blade has had its cherry popped by a dead skull?'

 

Sesshoumaru flung the interloper from his sword.  It flew off across the clearing and crashed into Inuyasha's forehead.  That was nothing new, however, the lack of pretty sparkles was disappointing.  It took so little to amuse the little red creature.

 

The new sword swiped down in a blazing fury and cut through the bottom half of Naraku's writhing mass.  All at once, the wormy body began to disintegrate and Naraku's torso sank into the mire. 

 

"Nooooo!  Damn you and your dick!" Naraku shouted.

 

Eventually, his voice was drowned out by pleasantly rising gurgles. 

 

 

 

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TBC

 

Thank You to all those who read, review, and rate.

I lurve you all. ^_^

 

 

Lunarfang

Gah!  The death glare!  I'm so sorry you had to wait so long.  Forgive me?  I hope this was worth it for you.  Will a lemon in the next chapter make it all better?  ^_^  Thanks for the 'un' review.  LOL

Pineapple55

Thanks so much for the wonderful scores and review!  *hugs*  Sorry for taking so long to get that chapter up.

 

Elven mistress

I'm so sorry this took so long and I hope this chapter was worth the wait, though there isn't a lemon.  That's next chapter.  ^_^  Thanks for reviewing despite the delays, and thanks for the wonderful score!.  ^_^

 

Demitria Miriam

Whoa, Girl!  Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!  I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much.  I know that this chapter isn't as fun as the others, but my funny bone went on vacation.  So, sorries if it didn't meet your expectations.

 

Quiet Storm

Thanks for the review!  I hope you liked this chapter, though I don't feel that it is up to standard.  Sigh, at least it's there though.  Maybe the next chapter will go easier, ne?  I hope you are alright.  You haven't emailed in awhile.  Contact me!  ^_^

 

Azalea J.

Thanks for the review.  Aw, I wouldn't embarrass poor Inu with public sex!  ^_^  Although...Inupapa is such a perve, who knows what shadows he's been peeping from!  LOL  I hope you liked this last chapter.  ^_^

 

aleabeth

Thanks for the wonderful scores and review!  Glad you're liking the story.  Sorry for taking so long to update.

 

Pumpkinpi82

Thanks so much for the review.  Sorry it took so long and that the next lemon won't be until next chapter.  And!  We aren't done with Naraku yet!  ^_^

 

ladytokyo

Thanks for the review.  Sorry this took so long.  Eh, Naraku was too much of a concern to fool with Kagome issues.  I don't want her to take up more white space than she needs to.  ^_^  Where do the ideas come from?  Erm...probably from my drain bamage?  LOL

 

Izzanami

Aw, thanks for the sweet review.  Hope you liked this current chapter.

 

 

 

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*Disclaimer*

 

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. Neither do I own `He-Man, Masters of the Universe'. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.

 

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