InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Chou Shoki I: Learning from Yesterday ❯ Chapter 23 ( Chapter 22 )

Like the measles love is dangerous when it comes late in life.

-Lord Byron

 

 

CHAPTER 23

 

1204 A.D ~AUGUST~

 

Everywhere I went, there he was. Always lurking in the shadows, following silently my every move. At times, his youki would disappear for a moment only to return full force seconds later.

 

After the episode in the dojo, I kept myself busy by traveling more in an effort to push out the memory of Lord Sesshoumaru. But as I came to comprehend, it was inevitable. There was an inner battle within myself. My mind rationally tried to explain to what little excuse for a heart I had, that the things I was beginning to feel were not supposed to be there. Thankfully, Kirara had wondered off during that day and I had yet to tell her about the kiss. And when I did, the whole thing just made her hate him even more despite the fact that he had somehow saved my life. She knew what was going on with me - what I refused to accept.

 

My stupid heart would conjure images about him and me. But I would furiously fight them away. What was more, the stupid dreams were becoming more and more intimate and vivid...more irresistible.

 

A more recent dream had been plaguing my mind...

 

DREAM

 

I was walking happily towards a huge tree. I was meeting him. I could almost hear his words laced with fake annoyance at my tardiness. Deep down I knew that he had been impatient and eager to see me. After all these years together, I had learned to over look beyond his arrogant looks and haughty, rude words.

 

Just a few feet from my destination, he jumped down from the tree. It was too fast and the silver-haired man with a frown upon his thin but messy brows looked down on me. His amber eyes, however, were full of laughter. Did he really think he could fool me?

 

“You're late, wench. You said you'd be here by sundown. It's night already! Do you think I ain't got nothing else to do? We could've already found some sh-”

 

I smiled warmly at him despite his words. I hugged him and he stiffened. “Well, hello to you, too, Prince Charming.”

 

He gave a small chuckle a few seconds later and returned the embrace. “Keh. Sneaky wench!”

 

“I'm sorry. I've had several things keep me, but you know that I'll always return to you.” He pressed me further into him as if trying to become one with me.

 

It was like watching myself do all these things. I couldn't recall ever being affectionate, let alone be open with anyone - especially with a male. But the trust and deep-rooted “love” I felt for this man was something I felt even beyond my dream. Still, after all these countless dreams I could not see but the silver of his hair, his amber eyes and clawed hands.

 

“I know,” he answered, gaining my attention back to our two figures. “Then why stay in this place? Don't you wanna come back? I need you by my side, Princess.” I felt his feather light kiss at the back of my nape. A shudder ran up my spine.

 

“This is the only way we can be together it seems,” I whispered in reply, before he pushed himself away from me in a growl.

 

When I gazed confusedly into his eyes, I realized that the amber riches that had been looking lovingly at me were now red. I walked to him, unafraid (surprising my spectator self). I touched his cheek and asked, “Doushita no? (What is the matter?)”

 

“Why is there the stench of another on you?” he hissed at me.

 

I opened my mouth to question him about this but he hauled me in his direction in a flash. He captured my mouth in a hard, hot kiss. Shoving me back against the tree he'd jumped down from, tilting my head up to deepen the kiss. He broke away, too quickly for my liking, and said, “You belong to me, miko. Don't ever forget that. You were mine, are mine and will remain mine always...just like I belong to you. Is that clear?” It was a statement and not a question.

 

What puzzled me was that I nodded like a fool. He kissed my nose and bit my neck playfully, leaving behind a small mark. His voice again reached my ears, his mouth inches from it. He whispered huskily, “Come back to me. Come back home.”

 

I open confused eyes and stared back at him only to watch as he faded away with my entire dream.

 

END OF DREAM

 

And so, I would come back to reality. To a world where he did not wait for me, to where I could never feel or touch like in my dreams.

 

Life at the castle was unbearable. My otou-san had `innocently' begun to hint about a possible marriage in the near future. Hiroyaki had become somewhat distant and Lana was no help with her constant chatter. There were times where I wished that something or someone (a certain silver-haired, golden-eyed demon lord) would just come and whisk me away. Away from my problems, my duties and the life of which I was a prisoner.

 

However, a certain encounter, a possible chance, came one day to turn my world upside down...again.

 

It was only ten weeks after the `dojo incident'. I was attending a small wedding ceremony in the city of Edo, native land to my father. Kirara had stayed behind guarding the castle upon my request. Considering that the groom was from a branch of the family - a distant cousin to be exact - we were forced to make an appearance. I had argued with my father to let me remain behind and protect the Imperial City. But what had been his answer?

 

FLASHBACK

 

“No. You will attend the family festivities. Besides, we both know that the city will not be attacked. And when it is, it's usually because they are looking for the Shikon no Tama...which you carry!”

 

END OF FLASHBACK

 

So, here I was, helping the bride-to-be get ready, putting on the wedding kimono and adorning her hair. It was only customary that I take part in these things as a family member and a shrine maiden as well.

 

Since I wasn't very social, especially with `family', I decided to sneak out and wait until the hour of the actual wedding dinner. The shrine was situated at the base of a valley, so I was able to watch and listen from far atop, just in case someone were to look for me. As I watched the bride and groom exchange their vows, a new realization hit me.

 

“I'm never going to have that.” I felt hollow. “No man will ever look at me like that and promise me eternal love,” I chuckled sarcastically at myself. “I'm going to die a bitter old woman...well, technically a bitter, old miko.”

 

I groaned.

 

I hugged my legs closer to my chest. None of this had ever bothered me before. To be honest, I had never allowed myself to dwell on such insignificant and foolish things. Most probably because I had no need to. Although I wasn't happy, I had led an almost methodical content life until now.

 

But what happened to change all this?

 

Him. Lord Sesshoumaru. Oh...and that kiss!

 

The kiss that had me sighing all day. The kiss that had me singing to myself while I bathed. The kiss that was still singed on my lips. The kiss that opened up the door to a world that I could never be a part of. That cursed, cursed kiss! I didn't know what to think anymore. On the one hand, the demon was exactly that - a demon. He was the image of evil incarnate. He represented all that went against my nature. He killed without mercy anything that got in his way. It didn't matter that it might be a weak, defenseless human. He lived by the sword and preyed instilling fear. Not that I was any different.

 

On the other hand, he did save my life while risking his own. And before he did that, he did let the children live. He came all the way from this home to apologize - with a plausible intimate reward in mind, I presume. His caresses when he had held me in the dojo were anything but lustful. Almost caring.

 

The demon was definitely a walking contradiction. He confused me so.

 

“Damn you to the pits of the underworld for doing this to me,” I bellowed lowly at no one in particular. Or so I thought!

 

“Sounds like a very lucky man,” floated a smooth voice from behind.

 

I froze. My heart began to beat like crazy and my breathing became labored.

 

Youkai!

 

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