InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Cold November Rain ❯ Cold November Rain ( Chapter 1 )

Cold November Rain (or Sing in Silence)

A Songfic by Inu Hanyou Nikkie

 

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any monies off of Inuyasha and the gang. No, that pleasure completely belongs to the Goddess Rumiko Takahashi. I am only using them for pure entertainment value. Nor do I own the song “Sing in Silence” by Sonata Arctica.

 

Warnings: This is going to be dark. . .Character Death. Suicide. OOC-ness in characters.

 

A/N : a What-if scenario based on very real recent events….

 

 

 

Cold November Rain (or Sing in Silence)

A Songfic by Inu Hanyou Nikkie

 

 

 

 

It was raining gently that day in November when they gathered about a freshly dug grave. Like the heavens' themselves was crying for the loss of a beautiful soul tragically taken away before its appointed time. Several people gathered about the rosewood coffin, closed so as not to ruin the soft pink silky satin lining inside the coffin and in an obscure way to keep the rain off the face and head of the gentle young woman who now resided in the coffin. It was a strange thought in the gathered minds that she would catch a chill if it was opened today.

 

The young woman's elderly parents wept brokenly and held each other up not caring that the rain soaked their hair and dripped off down their backs to soak their clothing under the rain coats. They couldn't understand why she would take her life. . . extinguish her spark. . . why didn't they do anything to prevent it? Why hadn't they been harder? Kinder? More this? Less that? Anything. . . .

 

Her father was torn apart inside as the broken record of his last words with his daughter harsh and cruel repeated in his mind. How could he have called her weak and worthless? How could he have said those hurtful words that weren't true. . . How could he pin his frustrations on her and use her to take out his anger on?

 

They couldn't take it anymore they had to leave before they died even more than they already had. They took the pink roses and lilies, Kagome's favourites, and laid them carefully upon the silent coffin and weeping their goodbyes to their precious daughter, their baby girl they left. The mother's cries of `Kagome, my baby. . .' coming back to the ears of everyone.

 

She was a ray of sunshine to them on the gloomiest of days. Going out of her way to bring in smiles and cheer. She would have money and go out spend a good portion of it on them because she thought of them. She respected them and never caused them any problems. They could go away for any length of time and know the house was well taken care of. They would never come home to strangers in their house nor a trashed home from wild parties. They would never hear their daughter tell them that she was pregnant when she was married nor financially secured for the burdens raising a child caused these days. She was raised in ignorance of sex which was how they wished it. They didn't want her life to be complicated and ruined by those carnal knowledge yet.

 

 

You were daddy's girl nice and sweet
Never in trouble mommy's honey

 

 

Her older brother was angry and thrumming with the urge to destroy something. . . anything. . . just to ease the pain welling inside that refused to ebb. He regretted deeply not being as close to his baby sister as he had been when they were younger. If only he was closer. . . he could have stopped her from. . . and he too finally had to leave unable to bear the sight of his little sister being lowered into the unfeeling ground and seeing the soaked dirt covering her from his sight. His parents needed him now.

 

Those that remained were her friends, co-workers and classmates who watched the coffin being solemnly covered up. They each were murmuring between themselves that they `didn't know' she was depressed. That she was going to take her own life. They haughtily stated she never asked for help and she could have just done that they would have helped her out and saved her . . but truth was they ignored the call for help for someone to step in and get her to open up that was there. She had made a plea for help in a recent painting she did filled with dark imagery, of death and words. Her own face and eyes also spoke volumes of her anguish. The normal sparkle and ready smile or laughter was silenced in the recent months. Left in its place a sad wistful look. A silent cry for someone to say “Are you okay?” or “You wanna talk?”

 

They were too busy to bother.

 

Too busy to care enough to look closely.

 

Their own lives causing them their own problems and struggles and those who would take notice forgot. . .

 

Those who didn't speak, averted their eyes in shame. They had seen the plea for what it was but didn't know how to talk to her. They knew she was in trouble but choose not to act. They were too afraid to do anything. . . They felt guilty. . . they knew she called them friends. . .

 

They cried for their part in this tragedy. . .

 

They cried for Kagome's tormented soul that only saw death as a means to free herself from the pain. . . they cried for the nightmares that are sure to haunt them of seeing Kagome's ghost asking them `why?'. . .

 

A young man with long ebony coloured hair and startling amethyst coloured eyes that were being bothered by soaked bangs that dripped steadily finally released a choked sob he'd been trying desperately to hold in and collapsed to his knees. He no longer care that he looked weak and unmanly to any of the others around him as he shook with body-wrenching sobs. Tears mixing immediately with the rain to create a salty clean taste on his lips.

 

“Ka-Kagome. . . oh f-fuck, Kagome. . . You can't leave me. . . not when I-I need you. . .” he gasped out between heartbreaking cries. Yes, he needed her and had come to the realization that he loved her with everything he was and could be months ago . . . if only his fucking pride and own insecurities hadn't gotten in the way of telling Kagome, his earthly angel. “I-I lo-love you. . . I'm so-sorry. . . I-I sho-sho-should have said it. . .it sooner. . . I-I lo-love. . Love you. . .”

 

Another figure dropped to their knees beside the distraught man and urged his head to her shoulder even as she herself wept openly. Their ebony coloured hair sticking together and mingling as she gently rocked the young man back and forth. Her words barely reaching either of their ears as she tried to deny the stark truth before them.

 

“InuYasha, InuYasha, InuYasha. . .I'm sorry. . . I'm so sorry. . . I don't have an answer. . .”

 

He lifted his head up enough to look into her normally guarded exotic brown eyes to see they mirrored his own agony inside. “Ki-Kikyou. . . why did she do this? Why didn't she believe that I-I. . . we cared so much for her? I was going to tell her. . . I was. . . I was. . .”

 

“I know InuYasha, I know. I think she already knew that you loved her very much.” Kikyou reached out with a trembling hand and soothed the dripping bangs out of his eyes. “I wish I knew what was happening. . . I fucking wish she told me. . . I could have. . . it's my fault. I didn't expect her to be treated like she was all because she was friends with me.”

 

 

Little child who just couldn't see
The pressure from her so called friends
Was simply too much

 

Kagome's diary had been left out on her desk unlocked, and the pages from recent months filled with the struggles she was going through at work and school from her `closest' and `trusted' friends were exposed. Several of them had turned on her for being friends with Kikyou. These friends hated Kikyou so they felt anyone they were friends with should also hate Kikyou. After all, it was the “correct” thing to do even if they didn't actually know Kikyou beyond her pictures on the show posters in the Theatre display case. These friends told her to drop Kikyou immediately in order to remain their friend.

 

Sango and Miroku in particular were mentioned in Kagome's journal as being the worst of them. The leaders of the attacks against Kagome. How they would tell her that she was “a mistake that God had made”, “why don't you do yourself a favour and just die already?” and “No one cares about you! How can they, you're a freak.” To “if you lose Kikyou as a friend we can save you from this mistake. You'll be wanted again. . .”

 

There were also many entries about how these two had been so close, so trusted and admired by Kagome that they had encouraged her do more and have showings in the local Art gallery. They told her she was a good writer and should try writing more and posting some stories on some common writer sites on the internet. They knew she was very shy and insecure about her talents. They had told her she was good and was amazing and she should be showing her pieces off.

 

Only to have Kagome stumble upon either Miroku or Sango talking with her other `friends' about how pathetic she was, how her art was horrible crap not fit for even pigs. Or how they would laugh as Sango and Miroku would describe Kagome's listening to their words as liken to a pig eating slop dumped in its food trough. How they had to force back the bile that threatened to spew out when they told her she was a good artist or writer. They did this in the lunch room, hallways at school or in the bathroom.

 

The monkey slowly climbed on her back
Offering an aid for her pain
Giving love and care
No-one cared, no-one cared...

 

Kagome would silently slip away and go home to cry upon her bed. Her fragile confidence shattering into too many pieces.

 

Kagome had started to throw up in the mornings before work or school and cry herself to sleep at night. Her spark was slowly dying and her body and talents reflected it. She kept each cruel stabbing hurt buried deep within. She never wanted her friends or family to suffer so she faked her smiles and laughs. But she especially kept it away from Kikyou and InuYasha her latest friends. And slowly as time passed these heartless words became hard truths to Kagome's tormented mind and soul. . . after all these were her dearest friends; Sango and Miroku had been with her for so long that she trusted their opinions and advice. That she was indeed a freak and a mistake. . .

 

At work, her boss and that boss's boss would every couple of days in the past few months drag her into the office to tell her how much of an awful employee she was. How she couldn't do anything right. They would hiss out maybe this wasn't the job for her. How they made her sign papers saying she was worthless and a failure. Even though they knew she struggled daily to achieve their too lofty goals and had been told on many an occasion that she has a learning disability. She offered up documented proof to which they refused everytime.

 

Kagome's mind would reel from it - how was it that before the drastic change in the company that her was getting compliments and kudos from the very same people. She didn't want to believe what others at work had been whispering about that it was “Fire Season” where the employer would go around and so they didn't actually have to fire a person who had no true cause to fire pressure them into quitting by constantly targeting them and digging for anything that could be used against them. Especially those who had unseen disabilities.

 

Kagome's eyes soon took in what kind of people they actually wanted working there. They wanted backstabbers, people who abused the system to get what they wanted. People who could come into work whenever they felt like it and gossip badly about everyone. People who were miserable about and hated their lives and despised anyone who was happy, friendly and filled with hope. She began to question why was she such an awful person as to be different from these others. Why couldn't she just fit in for once. Why did she feel like a cornered animal being poked with sticks?

 

 

Fragile like a rose on the snow
Eating all your strength and your money
( Walking) in the shades day and night (LIVING IN THE SHADES DAY AND NIGHT)
Never letting sunshine in your eyes like before

 

Kikyou had come to know Kagome over time and found her to be a rare person. One who was honest and truthful about her feelings. One who valued friendship and trusted and believed in others without any hesitations. She would blush at the strong belief Kagome had in her talents to write; to perform on the stage when she herself thought she wasn't that good at times or was nervous. She had earned a reputation for being cold, cruel and been called a corpse or a bitch for all the emotions she displayed. Kagome was a fresh breeze in an otherwise masked world, showing herself without having a secret agenda.

 

Kikyou was hated and greatly feared by many an envious writer/performer as she pushed the limits to the extreme that she would invoke the raw-ist of emotion in others and be that happy feelings or as angsty as possible. She was cutting edge in everything. She refused to apologize or conform to the approved ways of performances and writings. She was beautiful and exotic. With her long straight black hair, exotic brown eyes, sweet goddess-made face and a feminine body that everyone craved, she would everyone's head turn in her direction when she entered any room. She became fast friends with InuYasha early on as they shared interests. And soon that friendship turned into sibling feelings of love.

 

He loved to write and perform but he also loved painting and sketching, which is how he came across Kagome one day. InuYasha had asked Kikyou to accompany him to an Art gallery where an unknown artist was showing her works. They entered the gallery and began to check out the pieces hung on the walls with InuYasha pointing out some pieces and telling Kikyou what was good or stood out about it. He dragged Kikyou over to a few of his pieces and like an excited child tugged her sleeve to get her to look at it.

 

A soft giggle got their attention and they looked over to see a young woman who looked eerily like Kikyou only with wavy ebony coloured hair with blue highlights under the lights with expressive sapphire blue/smoky quartz grey eyes looking at them before squeaking and blushing a vivid pink turned her head away. Kikyou couldn't help but smile at the attention while InuYasha puffed himself to huff at her for giggling over his work. That piece was mighty fine if he does say so himself. Kikyou laid a gentle hand upon his arm to stop what would be a disaster.

 

Kikyou was about to say something to break the odd `ice' that had settled about them when the young woman shyly walked over and quietly asked, “Did you do this one?” to InuYasha. Dumbfounded, InuYasha deflated from his ire to nod his head.

 

“It's beautiful. The way you put these two colours together, your attention to details, the way you capture the essence of the emotions. I can see the depths you want to express. You are very talented,” she softly said while one hand caressed the painting before her. Touching parts in time with her words. “You are so very good.”

 

InuYasha was floored, out of all the reviews he had gotten none had been that close in understanding his painting. How could this slip of a girl do that? He was now curious and wanted to know more about her. So he stared at her.

 

Kagome sensed he was staring at her and saying a small `eep' pulled her hand back from the painting feeling as though she was being too overly friendly with this strange man's gallery piece. She blushed a deeper pink and bowing her head slightly shielded her face with a curtain of thick black hair. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have touched your painting like that.”