InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Confrontation ❯ Stages ( Chapter 33 )

Disclaimer: I do not own any of them!! Well I do own Jouyoku, and Miebi Kokushi. Yes, yes I do. ~Blushes~

 

Chapter 33: Stages

 

He stood on the edge of the village in a state of utter despair and denial.

 

He hadn't been gone even 10 minutes when he felt a sullen pulse vibrate through his body and echo off the shell of what was left of his soul. He could no longer feel her. The pull of her soul against his own was gone but…why? What happened?

 

Shaking his head, he refused to believe what his heart and soul were telling him. He refused to think that this emptiness that had seemingly come out of nowhere had anything to do with Ayame. `She's fine! She's sleeping, just like she was when I left her!' He told himself over and over.

 

He wanted to go back to the village to make sure that everything was all right, but he couldn't make his legs move. He couldn't force himself to cross the threshold to the village. He stood there in a state of shock a war raging inside of him. Part of him wanted to run to the village to prove that he was just being silly that he was worrying about nothing, but the other part of him…the part he didn't want to listen to told him he was too late. It told him that what ever had happened, she was gone.

 

Stepping back away from the village he mumbled repeatedly, “she's not gone, she's not gone, she can't be gone…n…not yet, not now.” Bumping into a tree he slid down to sit at the base as he continued, “there's still hope, we can be together…I can make this right.”

 

His gaze was locked on the village and the hut in question. Even from the distance where he now sat he could smell her blood permeating through the air. He could smell her flesh beginning to rot. He couldn't hear her heart beating or sense her breathing but still he refused to face the fact that she could be gone.

 

Despair surrounded and engulfed him as a small voice whispered quietly to him, `It's too late.'

 

“Shut up!!” He screamed refusing to face the truth, refusing to give into the grief and sadness the sat around him begging him to embrace them.

 

Standing to his feet abruptly he stomped away from the tree and away from the voice. His hands balled into tight fist, so tight that he drew his own blood and still it wasn't enough to ease his mind.

 

Growling viciously, as if he was a maddened dog, he threw his hands up and fought against the air around him. Throwing punches filled with so much power that had it connected with a living breathing person, it would have surely taken their life.

 

This did nothing to still the anger and rage that seemed to come out of nowhere. It sat on his shoulders telling him to kill everyone and everything in his path, telling him that he should go to the village and kill the person responsible for the death of his mate.

 

Leaping into the trees he threw kicks and punches at them as if they were his enemies, as if it was their fault that Ayame was… `No she's not gone!'

He tried to tell himself, but the voice it came back louder and meaner this time, grinding the truth into his head.

 

“She's DEAD!! They KILLED her!!”

 

Tears of anger flooded his eyes as he tore down tree after tree. Viciously tearing down bushes and limbs, throwing kicks, and clawing at the air itself trying to quiet the voice the chanted repeatedly with in his mind things that he wasn't strong enough to deal with, things that he didn't feel he was ready to deal with.

 

The voice refused to be quieted, refused to allow him to believe what he wanted to. Unable to stop himself he tore off head in the direction of the village, the hut, and his mate. He would kill any and everything that got in his way, no matter who or what it was!!

 

Simonkal of Inuy

 

After hearing the story of what happened while she was unconscious Kagome didn't know what to think. How could so much have happened in such a short time? How could that monster have gotten to Sango? Why would Sango repeatedly stab Ayame?

 

She knew Sango had always had somewhat of a temper, but she was not a murderer. She would never just kill someone with out just cause, something must have happened…she would have to be provoked or feel that her life was in danger before she took someone's life.

 

Lying on the mat in front of Inuyasha she watched him stare at the body that still lay across the room covered by her favorite blanket. “Inuyasha, what will we do?”

 

With out looking at her he replied, “ WE aren't going to do anything, I'll handle it and no matter what happens I want you to stay out of it, do you understand?”

 

She could only look at him and wonder just what he was planning. What did he mean by telling her to stay out of it? Was he going to take the blame for this in order to spare Kouga's wrath on Sango and Miroku?

 

“Promise me, Kagome, that you'll stay out of this.” He stated again as he stood to his feet.

 

The look on his face told her that what ever he was planning would be dangerous for him and for her if she did not listen to him.

 

“I'll promise if you promise that you won't put yourself into harms way.” She replied as she reached out and grabbed the leg of his Hakama.

 

Looking down at her he tried to smile as reassuringly as he could, but he did not, he could not make that promise. Kneeling quickly he placed a soft lingering kiss on her lips then whispered, “no matter what you hear, I want you to stay in here.”

 

He had heard Kouga's scream and could feel the change in the wolf youkai's aura. He was out for blood and he was justified in wanting it. Walking over to the girls' body he bent down and scooped her up with as much care as he could muster.

 

He could feel Kouga's pain. The idea of Kagome being taken from him in such a manner…just the thought of it was enough to make his youkai rise and take over, so as much as he didn't want to, he knew what he would have to do.

 

Glancing back at Kagome one last time, he could see the confusion and fear written all over her beautiful face and he wanted more than any thing to tell her that he would be right back. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but how could he when he wasn't sure about that himself. Sighing as if he was a defeated man with no future to look forward to he walked lethargically out the door with the girls' body lying limp with in his arms.

 

`The things I do for friends.' The Hanyou thought solemnly as he watched a whirlwind of dust and sand disburse in front of him leaving the wolf youkai standing there less than 4 feet away from him.

 

His shoulders and his chest heaved up and down. His fangs gleamed as the sunlight bounced off of them.

 

Inuyasha could hear his breathing clearly it was heavy and even, deep and laboring. He could smell the wolf's tears he could see the unwavering anger and rage warring within his eyes. He heard the crack of his claws and he knew that there was no turning back.

 

Kouga watched the blood drip slowly from her body. He couldn't see her face but he could look at her feet and hands that stuck out from under the blanket he could tell from the ashen color of her skin and the over powering smell of rotting flesh, that she was gone. Stepping up closer to the Hanyou who stood with the girl in his arms, he tried to control himself he tried to tell him self that there was a damn good explanation for this.

 

Lifting one of his clawed hands, the tormented wolf youkai gently ran it slowly through her red mane as he took her body away from the Hanyou with the other.

 

Inuyasha just stood there watching as the grieving wolf interacted with the girl's body. His heart hurt for his sometimes friend and adversary. He realized that this was not something that he would wish on his worst enemy; this was not something that even the most loathsome demon should have to deal with.

 

Pulling the blanket back from her face Kouga's soul quivered at the sight of the dried blood her lifeless eyes staring up at nothing and everything. The anger he was feeling soared to new heights. The blood running through his veins began to boil…his world went black.

 

“K…Kouga?” The Hanyou stuttered.

 

Hearing his name he growled viciously as he threw his free hand out and it connected with the Hanyou's face sending him flying back a few feet.

 

Landing hard, Inuyasha pulled him self up into a standing position and tried to readjust his sore jaw as he stilled his youkai blood and reminded himself that Kouga was suffering, he was grieving and this was to be expected.

 

Laying the girl's body on the ground next to him he couldn't stop the voice that still whispered for him to kill and maim. It screamed at him to start with the Hanyou, then maybe…just maybe he could have the Miko as a consolation prize. Charging forward the wolf rammed his knee into the chest of the Hanyou sending him backwards again into an empty hut.

 

`Let him get it out! Don't hit back; don't ram Tetesuiga up his ass! He's grieving!!' The Hanyou told himself as he pulled the splinters and pieces of wood from under him. Glancing up he watched the wolf stalk towards him his eyes filled with misdirected hatred.

 

Leaping into the air the wolf was prepared to come down on the hanyou's chest but his foot connected with nothing since Inuyasha had realized what he was going to do and rolled out of the way.

 

`I don't know how much more of this shit I can take!' The half demon hissed in his head as he stood quickly to his feet and leaped a few feet out of the wolves reach.

 

“I'm going to fucking kill you.” Kouga hissed as he leaped forward again and landed a round about kick to the side of the Hanyou's head sending him flying into the field that stood across from the huts.

 

Landing with a loud thud in the middle of the field Inuyasha chanted repeatedly in his head, `don't kill him, don't kill him, don't…fucking…kill…him!' As he rested his hand on the hilt of his fang and prayed that his youkai would let this one slide.

 

Hearing the commotion happening outside Kagome dragged her self over to the door, what she saw was enough to stop her heart from beating. Inuyasha was letting Kouga beat the hell out of him! `Is he crazy? Why would he do that!' She thought frantically as she gripped tightly to the side of the door and pulled her self up into a standing position. “Inu…Yasha,” she whispered as she slowly stepped out of the hut. What she saw next almost brought her to her knees.

 

Kouga leaped off the fence and landed in the middle of Inuyasha's chest.

All she heard was a loud grunt from her Hanyou and nothing else.

 

“Inuyasha!!” She screamed as tears came to her eyes. She didn't know where the strength came from but the next thing she knew she was running towards the field as she watched the wolf leap high into the air again and prepare to descend on her Hanyou once again. Afraid that this would be the ending blow that took her Hanyou's life Kagome threw her left hand up in Kouga's direction and out of sheer desperation screamed, “NOOOOOO!” As a large white energy ball flew from her palm in to the wolf's direction. Unfortunately it missed its target, however it did make him rethink his approach.

 

Stumbling she fell to the ground as the energy was sucked out of her, “Inu…yasha, I've got to get to Inuyasha.” She whispered as she pulled her weak, fatigued body across the ground in the Hanyou's direction.

 

Stepping up to the Miko, Kouga stood over her as she crawled across the ground. Glaring down at her, he raised his foot and pressed it against her wrist that shot the purifying energy at him.

 

Realizing the she had gotten more of his attention than she desired she glanced up as she felt him step on her wrist stilling her movements. She realized that this Youkai was not Kouga; it was not the gentle wolf the protected her that fought viciously with Inuyasha for her affections, this Youkai was mean, angry, hateful. He seemed closed off to any and everything. “K…K…Kouga”

 

“You wait your turn!” He hissed hatefully.

 

His movements were so fast that the next thing she saw was him leaping into the sky preparing to finish what he started with Inuyasha.

 

“Please Kouga don't! It wasn't…” She screamed as she watched him descend once again on her beloved.

 

Simonkal of Inuy

 

It seemed like he had only been sleeping for a matter of minutes before his mate woke with a start and tears leaking unmercifully from her eyes. At first he thought that it was because she regretted mating with him but when she pleaded with him to take her back to the village. He couldn't help the look of relief that washed over his face.

 

Moments earlier

 

“Rin, what's wrong? Are you hurting? Is everything okay?”

 

“Milord, I'm fine but your brother and the others…can we please go back to the village. There's something wrong.” She stated between sniffles.

 

Sitting up he pulled her and his Mokomoko-sama into his lap as he cradled her close to his chest. “Maybe it was just a bad dream.”

 

“No, Milord it wasn't a dream!” She almost shouted as tears returned to her eyes, “It's a feeling…it feels like something bad is going to happen. Please can we go back, just to make sure that everything is okay?” She pleaded as she crawled to her knees but quickly wished she hadn't as the dull throbbing pain turned into something almost unexplainable then quickly subsided back into the annoying ache.

 

Noticing her flinch he asked, “are you sure your all right?”

 

Trying to hide the blush on her cheeks, she nodded as a flash of what they did came back to her.

 

After looking at her for a long moment he figured there wouldn't be any harm in checking it out. After all, if it has something to do with the Youkai, Jouyoku, then maybe it would be best if he were there, even if Rin, his Rin, was no longer in any danger.

 

“Milord, can we go?”

 

Smiling at her he released her so she could get dressed, “I would not deny my mate. If she wants to go check on pathe…I mean ninjens then we shall go check on ninjens.” Standing up behind her he hoped that she hadn't caught on to what he really wanted to say. Since they were now mates he knew that he would have to watch the way he spoke around her as to not upset her.

 

“Milord?”

 

“Yes, Rin.” He stated with out looking up as he tied his sash around his hakama and reached for his inner Haori.

 

“M…my Kimono…it's out there.” She whispered shyly as she pointed off in the direction of the stream in front of them.

 

Following the direction in which she was pointing he smirked as he started to remember just why her Kimono was out there. Walking up behind her he pulled his Mokomoko-sama from her shoulders and wrapped his outer Haori around her. “Here wear this, and when we get back to the palace you can pick out as many new robes as you like.”

 

She smiled back at him as she hurriedly pulled his haori on and wrapped his sash around her waist a third time before then tying it into a large bow.

 

Gathering his Mokomoko-sama up, he watched her as she silently dressed in his Haori. The soft smile that graced her girlish yet elegant features made him want to take her all over again and perhaps he would, right after he saw to his idiotic brother and his weak ninjen friends.

 

The Present

 

What would have taken the average person a day or two to travel only took him a matter of minutes. With Rin wrapped tightly within his arm he flew through the sky at a rapid speed that could rival the fastest bird Youkai.

 

The closer he got to the village the more uneasy he felt. He could smell it, the blood of the female wolf. What happened here? Who killed her? Or did she kill herself? Swooping low as he approached the village he could also smell small traces of his brothers' blood. He heard the Miko screaming his brother's name and he subconsciously picked up his speed. He then saw and felt a powerful energy blast and all he could think was, `what is going on? What happened here?'

 

Nearing the clearing he saw Kouga stepping on the Miko's wrist as he whispered something to her then leaped swiftly into the air no doubt aiming at his brother's chest. `Pathetic half-breed!' He grimaced as he shot forward and connected his shoulder with the wolf's chest knocking him away from Inuyasha.

 

Landing off to the side he sat Rin down quickly and charged forward as Kouga stumbled back to his feet. Stopping between him and the seemingly unconscious Hanyou, he tilted his head to the side and scented the air. “Grief,” he whispered.

 

He understood now. Kouga was grieving because his mate had died, but how? And why was he attacking Inuyasha? “Explain yourself!” Sesshomaru demanded.

 

Kouga stood there glaring from the white lord to the Hanyou.

 

Baring his fangs at the white lord, Kouga growled viciously as he stepped forward but said nothing.

 

“You would bare your fangs at me, the Tai-Youkai?” Sesshomaru stated coldly as he rested his hand on the hilt of his Sword.

 

Kouga appeared to be almost foaming at the mouth as he took another step forward.

 

“N…no Sesshomaru d…don't kill him.” Inuyasha pleaded as he tried to push himself up and into a sitting position, but couldn't, “he's…he's grieving.”

 

“Inuyasha!” Kagome half yelled as she finally reached her hanyou's side.

 

“I told you to stay inside.” He whispered.

 

She ignored him as she reached out and grabbed one of his forelocks and pulled his head closer to him. Placing chaste kisses all over his face she mumbled between kisses, “you're…so…stupid…and…selfish…you… ;make …me…so…mad.”

 

The stand off was still going on between Sesshomaru and Kouga, neither making a step towards the other.

 

Sesshomaru understood all too well how the youkai was feeling. He had seen it several times before in lesser youkai that had lost their mates in battle. It was also something that he had to learn to deal with when he was being trained to replace his father, but until now he had never actually had any hands on experience with it.

 

There were stages for the youkai grieving process first there would be denial and Isolation, then anger, bargaining, depression, then if he made it that far there would be acceptance.

 

Most youkai never made it out of the anger stage, because they were cut down before they were given the chance. And even if they did make it through all stages there was still a very good chance that the mate left alive would pass away shortly there after.

 

Kouga stared down at the Miko and the Hanyou as she lovingly saw to his wounds. Her gentle touches, her soothing words, the way her hands gently pushed his hair away from his forehead. `Ayame,' his heart slowed as the realization that she was gone and that killing would not bring her back sunk in. Falling to his knees he threw his head back and he howled the most mournful tortured gut-wrenching howl that any of them had ever heard.

 

“Kouga,” Kagome whispered as she cradled Inuyasha a little closer to her.

 

Inuyasha closed his eyes and nuzzled into her touch as he prayed that he would never have to endure the pain and anguish his friend was going through.

 

Rin ran to her lord and threw her arms around his waist as she buried her face in his lower chest and prayed that the wolf would stop.

 

Rubbing reassuringly up and down her back Sesshomaru took pleasure in the fact that his mate was right there next to him cuddled tightly and safely at his side.

 

“Milord, please do something. Help him, please Milord help him.” Rin begged.

 

“Please Kami if you're up there, please send her back! Please take me instead, I beg you!” He screamed into the sky.

 

He didn't see the looks of pity and sympathy that graced the faces of everyone present. He didn't care that he was making a fool of himself. He didn't care that his actions would make him appear weak and pathetic. He didn't care about what anyone thought or what they saw as they looked at him, he wanted her back and he would give both his arms and his legs if he could have her back if only for one moment, if only to tell her that he was sorry. “Please, Please if you're up there help me.” He whispered as his shoulders slouched forward and tears slowly ran down the sides of his face.

 

“Sesshomaru can you do something? Please do something. Help him, please.” Kagome begged as tears started to fall from her eyes.

 

“Like what, Miko?” The white lord questioned as he continued to eye the grieving wolf before him.

 

“Milord your sword! It can bring her back, can't it?” Rin questioned softly.

 

Sesshomaru didn't answer, of course his fang could bring her back, but why should he? Wasn't her mind already deteriorating? If he brought her back would she be changed mentally as well as physically or would it be just a physical thing?

 

The pain that the wolf youkai was feeling was a viable thing. So much so that even the stoic white lord as cold as he was, wanted to help, but he didn't want to give him false hope, he wouldn't do that. He didn't want to bring her back only to have her die again from whatever disease that vile beast had left with in her. To experience this kind of grief twice in a lifetime would be too cruel for words.

 

“Milord, if she was me…would you bring me back?” Rin questioned solemnly as she stared at the weeping wolf.

 

“Rin, it's not that simple.”

 

Turning abruptly with Rin still held close to his side he walked away with out another word or a glance backwards. He needed to think, he needed to make sure whatever he decided to do would not cause the wolf to suffer anymore than he already had.

 

Until Next Time…