InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Control. Infirmity. Defiance. ❯ Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Losing

 

 

Kikyou gaped. Jaw flapping weakly, she could not even mutter a feeble protest before InuYasha had stalked off, fists clenched. Worse than the shock at his reaction was how it affected her, how flustered she felt; it took a good amount of effort before she could blank her features as well as she used to.

 

Though outwardly she showed little emotion, inside she was roiling. `I cannot believe he spoke to me like that!' He had yelled at her, almost called her `wench' and insinuated she had not thought about the consequences of her actions!

 

`Then again, perhaps I had not…'

 

InuYasha had a point: if Kagome left, there would be nobody to keep the barrier up. She would lose the soul she held, along with her tenuous grip on life. She would not survive to see Naraku fall, to see InuYasha without the weight of his vengeance and hers (`and that of his friends,' she reminded herself)… to see the youkai threat diminish as she had learned was the norm in Kagome's time.

 

It was those unfamiliar… feelings, deep in her gut, that had spurred her to action. Concern was a large part of it; she knew InuYasha would be horrified if something were to happen to Kagome. The young woman had little knowledge of how to defend herself and would be a liability in battle. Naraku was becoming more ingenious. The honor-less bastard would not hesitate to attack Kagome when she was weak.

 

Worried amber, sparkling in the firelight, flashed through her mind, and she was hard-pressed to keep the blank look on her face. She could not keep the pain from her eyes, though, and thanked everything she held holy that nobody was around to see her lapse in control.

 

`She has no control.' Kikyou winced. She had said as much to InuYasha, but wondered now whether she was talking about herself or Kagome. Since her unholy resurrection-of-sorts, Kikyou had found relief, even small pleasure, in wandering the countryside, reveling in the freedom to do as she wished. Of course, she administered as possible to needy children and the elderly, but also spent days far from civilization, with only her Shini-dama-chuu as companions.

 

This time, there would be no enticing InuYasha away. Even if she had not required the girl to survive, the look in InuYasha's eyes the night before, not to mention his reaction to her suggestion, clearly stated that Kagome would remain by his side… whether or not she wanted to. He needed her. He… `Does he love her?' Kikyou was not sure. She wondered vaguely if she even knew what the emotion was before being swept away in contemplation. She had thought she loved him fifty years ago. She had certainly appreciated his company; had admired his exotic features, though they were proof of his youkai heritage. She had especially welcomed the closure he could bring to that part of her life. She was going to marry him, live with him and raise a family!

 

But had she loved him? And if she had… did she still love him now?

 

To be perfectly honest with herself (an act that stirred something unpleasant within her), she had not known him well enough or long enough to make an accurate judgment. Just his attitude the night before had been enough to prove he was holding back his true self… `As I requested,' she thought, rather guiltily.

 

But he could be himself around Kagome and the others who stuck by his side. In just a day, she'd learned how crude, violent and outspoken he could be. She'd also seen, though, how loyal, caring and protective he could be about those he considered close…

 

Knowing InuYasha had stomped off to see Kagome; knowing Kaede probably had the kitsune well in hand, and that the monk and taijya would probably appreciate some time to themselves… Kikyou was unsure what to do with herself.

 

She suddenly felt very lonely.

 

She held out her hand, mentally willing her Shini-dama-chuu to come to her, hoping against hope that they would heed her call though she didn't need their services. Two writhed out of thin air, not baring souls but greeting her with the barest brush, circling her welcomingly.

 

`How amusing,' it suddenly occurred to her, `that one who once devoted her life to slaying youkai now requires them to remain in this half-existence.'

 

But that was not true anymore, was it? Now she relied on the young woman she had attempted to kill at least once: her reincarnation, the woman she vied with for InuYasha's heart. Without her… she would die. Her newfound freedom was slowly being stripped away by the girl who had saved her. Two emotions, incredibly different, battled for supremacy and she bit her lip, looking to the ground as if there were someone nearby to see. Bitterness at Kagome, for trapping her, for making her stay with them raged against humbled thankfulness. Is there anything Kagome would not do? Kikyou acknowledged she was not yet ready to die… and allowed appreciation to overcome resentment.

 

Kikyou was so lost in thought, she never noticed the eye hovering just over the tree line.

 

**********

 

A few minutes, hours, maybe an eternity later, Kagome rolled over, spent. She'd cried all her tears - her soaked pillow was proof. “She has no control…” Kikyou's words haunted her, taunted her, and suddenly Kagome felt the bottom of her stomach shift out from under her. Had she been standing, she was sure she would have been violently ill. She hadn't cried that hard in years, since her father died… seeing InuYasha and Kikyou embracing under Goshinboku had been nothing compared to hearing they thought she should be sent back.

 

The thoughts rushing through her head skidded to a halt, sending stars sparking painfully behind her eyes. `Wait a minute…' In the back of her mind, she refused to believe InuYasha would agree to keep her home, even for her own safety. `That's not fair at all. He wouldn't do that. He came for me at Mount Azusa, even though Kikyou was so badly hurt. He's always come for me…' She thought about all the times she'd run home in tears or anger, giving him every opportunity in the world to rush off, find Kikyou and hunt shards with her.

 

He'd always come back… or, at least waited until she came back. Sure, he left her side a couple of times to check on Kikyou. And one of those times, Naraku had almost gotten her… but then InuYasha had sworn to stay with her, even looked so sincere about it, even though she knew he couldn't. Even when he went to Kikyou, though, he always came back. It hurt, but she couldn't say she didn't understand.

 

And what about her friends? Sango, Miroku, Shippou… heck, even Kaede wouldn't let him just push her away like that! Why was she so bitter about things? Didn't she trust InuYasha anymore?

 

She gasped as she recounted her actions that morning. `I'm acting like Kikyou!'

 

Kikyou's barb stung through her again. “She has no control.” Well, of course she didn't! She hadn't trained all her life; she hadn't even known she had any spiritual powers until she tumbled into the well… and now she was missing half her soul! She hadn't even had power over that… it was as though the miko magic inside her sprung up, fueled by that horrible look on InuYasha's face, the feeling like she would lose him along with Kikyou…

 

InuYasha's words played in her head. `InuYasha said when he was taking me from Mount Azusa… that my heart was strong and pure because I wanted to save Kikyou even if I saw her as frightening and unpleasant.'

 

She brought her shoulders back a bit in pride as she recalled what she had realized while facing the test on the mountain. `Kikyou and I… we're two different people. They have a past that I can't deny or ever be a part of. But InuYasha and I have the present. I share something with him that she never will; I know the real InuYasha, the one who scowls and growls and protects me and cries when he thinks his friends are dead.'

 

On the heels of that thought came another. `She was his first friend. That was probably a big reason why he was so sad when he thought Kikyou was dying. But he was holding me that same way after we almost died from the poison when fighting the Shichinintai…'

 

It was so strange. Normally, thinking about the day brought a smile to her face, filled her with an indescribable joy even though she and her friends had nearly died. She reckoned it was because he had shown he cared; she always knew it, of course, but he had actually been in mourning. Now, though, the emotions were strangely muted. It felt as though they were suffocating under feelings of inadequacy, of hurt and sorrow and other negative emotions that had taken root inside her.

 

An almost hesitant tap on the window interrupted that revelation and Kagome spun around, gaze immediately catching glowing, golden eyes.

 

**********

 

InuYasha stood just outside Kagome's window, silent, the pressure on his chest doubling as the fresh aroma of her tears hit him. When InuYasha had touched down inside the well, the scent of hurt on the air had nearly bowled him over. `What the hell is her problem?' InuYasha raged, heart pumping a bit faster in response to the scent, anger spiraling to the edge of his control as he realized there was nothing he could fight to fix it… whatever “it” was.

 

Cautiously, he reached out to lightly tap the closed window, gazing at the miko as she faced him, a strange light coming to her eyes as they focused on his. She looked… determined. As though something had just occurred to her, she clenched a fist and lifted her chin as she came over to open the window.

 

Not one to question Kagome's mysterious and sudden mood swings, InuYasha climbed into the room and forced a smirk, tucking his hands into his sleeves and crossing his arms irritably. There was just too much weird shit going down lately for him to be comfortable… on top of that, Kagome was putting him on edge, and having Kikyou travel with them would be awkward.

 

`Did I really just think that?' Shaking the thoughts away, InuYasha focused once more on the girl, who had yet to speak… it was more of that freaky silence from earlier in Kaede's hut.

 

“O-oi.” Kagome's eyes never left his, pinning him uncomfortably where he stood with that strange, unidentifiable emotion. Well, when all else fails… “Who the fuck said you could come home?”

 

Kagome blinked, and then pinched her eyes shut as though they hurt. He braced for yelling, for `osuwari' commands, for angry glares: he wasn't prepared for the tears that rolled silently down her cheeks or for the hastily muffled sob that came out as a hiccup.

 

“Oi, wench...don't do that!” his shout tapered to a frantic plea as he shot towards her, clearing the room in two wide steps. Using the pad of his thumb, InuYasha carefully wiped the tears away; silently thankful that nobody was here to see his tough façade crumble at her first visible tears. He'd been aching to touch her since the night she saved Kikyou, to reassure himself she was whole and really there.

 

Assured that he had gotten to her in time to stop the drops from turning into an all-out storm, InuYasha was about to lay into her about going to the well alone. “Keh-”

 

Kagome cut his rant off rather spectacularly when she threw her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest, clutching him tight. “It hurts,” she whimpered.

 

InuYasha stiffened, his eyes widening, and his ears flattening back against his head. Before his mind could process what he was doing, he was sitting on the floor, his back against the bed with Kagome cradled in his arms, sobbing.

 

InuYasha held Kagome as close as he physically could; supporting her with his entire body as vicious sobs wracked the girl's frame. He couldn't bring himself to chide her for her tears, to force a tough tone and tell her she was being stupid. All he could do was hold her... just hold her. Keeping his nose buried in her hair, he dragged a clawed hand up and down her back as gently as he was able; trying to soothe whatever was causing her pain. He knew if he opened his mouth, he'd find himself eating his foot; so rather than add to her anguish, he settled on just being quiet, on... just holding her.

 

Kagome had been sure she was fine. She had remembered her worth, darn it, and knew that InuYasha wouldn't send her back.

 

Yet she was confused; how could his touch have hurt so terribly? InuYasha had caught her tears, running the gentlest thumbs across her cheeks--she had melted at the sweetness and then been torn apart with agony. She had almost choked on her tears as memories poured through her: of when she had been a bother to him or caused him pain or she got in the way and he took a hit meant for her; as she remembered a vicious ache welled up inside. It had been a deep, physical pain…

 

Then… wonder of wonders, he just sat there, letting her cry. It was so strange, so wonderful, that Kagome couldn't even question it or begin to understand it... but was so thankful she knew she'd never be able to put it into words.

 

“I'm sorry,” she sniffled, finally gathering in the reins on her runaway tears. “I'm so, so sorry.”

 

Her voice was muffled by his chest and fire-rat, but he heard her easily. “For what, wench?” Kagome shook her head. InuYasha used his free hand to lift up her face by the chin, cupping it softly. “Fine then, but what hurts, Kagome?” She'd never know how hard it was for him to say that so calmly when his stomach was churning with anxiety.

 

Kagome whimpered again, tightening her grip around him and trying to pull her face away. He wouldn't let her; forced her to look at him and stop hiding from him. She finally averted her eyes, unable to meet his gaze.

 

`Gods damn it all to hell, don't make me drag it out of you,' InuYasha grumbled mentally before shaking her softly by the shoulder. “Kagome, tell me. What hurts? How-” He cut off, certain the next question was going to make him look like a fucking wuss. But he was her protector, and he had to know what was hurting her so he could make it stop! “How can I make it better?”

 

Kagome let out a strangled noise, a sob mixed with a hint of laughter. After another minute of silence, InuYasha was about to start demanding answers when she admitted, “I don't know.”

 

InuYasha blinked. That hadn't been what he was expecting at all. It seemed like the wench always had an answer.

 

“What do you mean, you don't know? You don't know what hurts? You don't know how to fix it? What?” He mentally patted himself on the back. See? When that teasing monk wasn't around and the bratty kitsune was gone, he could be nice!

 

She chuckled shortly, the tear-driven tightness in her throat sending her into a brief coughing fit. InuYasha tightened his grip, squeezing her gently in what he hoped was a reassuring manner as she got collected herself. “No,” she said quietly. “I… I know what hurts. I think when… you know, when I gave Kikyou more of my- our soul, I think it did something weird with my emotions.”

 

`Fuck. I can't handle this emotional bullshit,' InuYasha groused. Then the meaning behind what Kagome had said sunk in, and he recoiled as if hit. `Wait, she's hurt because she healed Kikyou… for me?' It was his fault! His ears drooped; it figured she'd be in pain because of him.

 

“W-why does that hurt?” InuYasha asked nervously, unsure if he really wanted to hear the answer.

 

Kagome shook her head. “I'm not sure. It's just… I know I'm not always a big ray of sunshine or anything, but it feels like all my good emotions are gone. Or, well, not gone but… hidden away, like they're hard for me to find.” She sighed.

 

The next words out of her mouth shocked InuYasha right down to his soul. “If this is how Kikyou felt after Urasue made that body… I feel really bad for her. I don't blame her for feeling like she did.”

 

InuYasha gaped. His brain didn't even know where to start. `She… she feels sorry for Kikyou? Even then, I know something happened between those two in the illusory death. She doesn't- wait. She thinks she feels the same way Kikyou did?' His heart ached at that thought. That Kagome would be like Kikyou had been… so cold, so detached… his hold on her tightened, reluctantly loosening when she gave a little squeak.

 

This was just too much for him. Kikyou was dealing with Kagome's emotions, and Kagome couldn't find some… did that mean she was giving them all to Kikyou? What would he do without Kagome's particular brand of ridiculous optimism?

 

`Help her,' that nagging voice in his head that sounded like Miroku insisted. `Kami knows you won't smile if she doesn't!'

 

As much as he hated to admit it, the monk - well, the voice that sounded like the monk - was right. But how was he supposed to help her? He had pledged to protect both women, truly cared for both of them and wanted both to be happy. `I guess it's kinda hard to be happy with only part a soul,' he conceded reluctantly.

 

Frustrated, InuYasha laid his chin atop Kagome's head. He hadn't appreciated how often he touched Kagome or the other way around: grabbing her from danger, holding her to shield her, letting her grab his hand or touch his shoulder. Then he'd held himself back, in deference to Kikyou, and realized how much he'd come to crave that relaxed, accepting contact. Holding her tightly now, in her room with the door shut, was more than he had ever expected and a slight flush unwittingly tinted his cheeks as he felt his body slowly start to respond to the warmth of her, the weight of her body in his lap…

 

Pushing the thought away (and willing himself to calm the hell down), InuYasha took a deep breath, grimacing at the salt that still hung in the air. Help her? How? He wracked his brains, trying to focus on what she said rather than her body… She said something about… being lost, not being able to feel happy.

 

`So make her feel happy, moron! Half the youkai, half the brains?' InuYasha bit back a snarl. Then he realized how quiet Kagome had been while he was thinking.

 

Again, he mused that normally, he couldn't shut her up. This quiet Kagome was strange.

 

“You ready to go on that Shikon shard hunt?” he grunted, unsure of what else to say. InuYasha was a master at pissing Kagome off. He was great at making her cry, too; not that he relished that particular fact. Making her happy, though, was something he wasn't sure he would particularly excel at.

 

Kagome looked up at him, cheeks red from her tears. She chewed her bottom lip nervously. “I, uh…” Averting her eyes as her earlier frustration got the better of her self-discovery, she blurted out, “Kikyou doesn't want me to come. Maybe I should stay here.”

 

InuYasha blinked, and then put two and two together. `Oh, she fuckin' heard us and took off. Why the fuck does she always run away? Then again…she ran here and how I get to actually touch her again. Maybe she heard enough to know I wouldn't make her come back…' He shook his head, `Fuck, no, or she wouldn't have left! Son of a bitch but she always jumps to conclusions…' He grumbled softly, waiting for Kagome to give in to her curiosity and actually meet his eye. It wasn't long.

 

“Wench, even if she didn't need you to stay fuckin' alive, do you really think I'd just leave you here?”

 

He actually sounded offended, Kagome noted. She searched his eyes for deceit and found none. “Well… I mean, she told you to. And now you have to protect me and stuff,” she muttered.

 

“I always have to protect you,” he pointed out. The look on her face was priceless, though he was sure if he hadn't been holding her, she would have sat him through the floor. “But it's okay,” he added quickly. She'd been moody; he didn't want to prod her into testing her reflexes. “I-I… like protecting you,” he continued in a mutter so low Kagome almost missed it.

 

`Did he really just say that?' Kagome stared. “But that's stupid! You could die protecting me, InuYasha!”

 

He bristled at the suggestion that he was weak enough to die in a fight with a small fry youkai. Or Sesshoumaru, Kouga or Naraku, for that matter! “You make me sound like a fucking weakling,” he grumbled, removing his arms from her and folding them over his chest. “I ain't gonna die. Besides, they'd all come after me anyway for being what I am. Might as well get something out of it.”

 

`He still wants to be a full youkai,' Kagome misconstrued. A wave of disappointment washed over her. `Even though he's fine the way he is…' She pushed herself to her feet, hand on her temple and swaying as blood rushed from her head. InuYasha grasped her free wrist.

 

Once steady on her feet, Kagome tried to leave the room but InuYasha kept a firm grasp on her wrist. Realizing he must want something, she turned to look at him. “You're not getting out of it that easy, Kagome.” He growled as she looked confused. “You're fucking coming with us. Go get ready to go; we got Shikon shards to find.”

 

Kagome nodded and forced a smile before freeing her hand to scrub at her cheeks. “Let me go wash my face,” she said, “and then I'll get packed.”

 

As soon as she was out of the room, InuYasha slumped against the bed. `Son of a bitch, this is going to be harder than I thought.' Something was up with Kikyou; why would she want Kagome to stay behind when Kagome was necessary to keep her alive? Then there was the issue of Kagome's weird emotions… he resolved to keep an eye on her and try to make things easier for her. Maybe Shippou could help; kami knew the brat wasn't good for much, but kitsune could put a smile on anybody's face.

 

Kagome appeared back in the doorway, face clean and free of the tear-marks. Unfortunately, her fresh-washed face threw the shadows she'd been wearing into sharp relief. He noticed the hollows in her cheeks and frowned. “You need to eat something when we get back to Kaede's.”

 

Kagome waved off his concern, finishing her packing with a lighter heart. She nodded to herself as she glanced around the room. Finally, with a bit of a sigh, she hefted her bag, now filled with a few more clothes, and turned to wander out of the room.

 

“Well, c'mon then. Let's grab some food from Mama and head back,” she called over her shoulder. He let out what anybody else would call a thankful sigh as he caught the smile on her face. It was small, but genuine…

 

It was a start.

 

**********

 

Shippou stared out the door, bottom lip quivering as he remembered how Kagome had huffed her way out of the hut, radiating frustration, dejection and hurt. She didn't even stop to see if he was okay when he fell on the floor!

 

After getting over her shock and embarrassment of chasing Kagome away with their solicitousness, Sango took note of the obvious pout on the kitsune's face and opened her arms to him. He leapt into them, tears coming to his eyes.

 

“What's wrong with her, Sango?”

 

Sango sighed, looking to Miroku for help. He smiled wanly and joined the duo. “I'm certain Lady Kagome did not mean to drop you like that, Shippou.”

 

“She didn't even notice!” Shippou sniffled, his tears coming faster. “It's like she's not her anymore! What if Kikyou did something to her and we don't know about it? Inu-baka probably wouldn't do anything!”

 

“Shippou!” Sango's voice took on a chiding tone. “InuYasha would never let anything happen to Kagome; you know that. Kagome is still her. She's just-” Sango halted again, trying to figure out how to describe Kagome's issues to the kit who was usually so quick to catch on. `He must be really upset if he's acting like this.'

 

“Lady Kagome is feeling frustrated,” Miroku interjected smoothly. “You know what a big heart she has. She helped Lady Kikyou of her own free will, but it appears to have had a drastic effect on her own powers. She is probably feeling as though she is not needed.”

 

Shippou's eyes widened. “But she's Kagome. Of course we need her!”

 

Sango grinned at the sincerity in the kit's voice. Apparently, Kagome's worth was unquestionable in his eyes. Of course, she and Miroku were of similar opinions… “I know, Shippou. But it's hard for her to see that; she's too close to the situation. So we need to be careful to make her feel useful… without babying her too much. Can you do that?”

 

Shippou nodded solemnly. “I'll do my best!” Then his face drooped. “But she just dropped me!”

 

Miroku swallowed a chuckle, forcing himself to keep a serious expression on his face. “But you're okay, right? You're a tough youkai; being dropped like that was nothing to you.”

 

Shippou blinked, and then smiled. “That's right! She knew I'd be fine, right?”

 

**********

On the road bright and early the next morning, Sango sighed. They were walking easily; there was no real hurry, both Kikyou and Kagome said they could feel the shard and it remained ahead of them.

 

Rumors placed the shard with a youkai that had been seen on the outskirts of villages. They had decided the night before to stick to the road, in hopes that they'd run into it before it decided to attack.

 

“It's weird, though,” Kagome piped up, breaking the silence that had fallen over the group. Sango bit back a cheer that Kagome had actually initiated a conversation. “The shard doesn't feel tainted. It doesn't feel completely pure, but it's not dark like it is with most youkai. I thought only we could purify shards,” she mentioned to Kikyou, ignoring the looks of surprise that she would willingly talk to the other miko.

 

“It is not so strange,” Kikyou chided softly. “Remember the doctor who had two souls in him?”

 

“Suikotsu,” Kagome recited quickly. She wasn't excited, but she seemed more animated as she recalled, “The member of the Shichinintai with multiple personality disorder, I think. When he was kind, his shard was clear.” She fell silent for a moment. “But I thought his shard was pure because of being so close to the holy barrier on Mount Hakurei?”

 

Kikyou shook her head slightly. “No. The Shichinintai were later able to go to the mountain with no adverse affects. Suikotsu was there when he met his end again. My arrow was able to push back the darkness in the shard, but it was the purity of his second soul that was able to completely eradicate the darkness, I believe.”

 

Miroku flushed, remembering that he had been unable to do anything with impure shards before he had met Kagome. What did that say about him?

 

Sango had remained silent as she walked along beside him, head down. Her shoulders drew upward hearing Kikyou's comments; Kirara let out a mew and jumped off, running toward Kagome's shoulder. At the noise, Miroku looked down to realize Sango's hands were clenched tightly.

 

“Sango?” When she didn't respond, he stopped, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her to face him. InuYasha halted, staring at Miroku, who waved the group on. After a moment, InuYasha shrugged and beckoned the two miko to follow him.

 

Once they'd cleared the nearest hill, Miroku turned his attention back to Sango.

 

“Sango? Talk to me, please. Tell me what you're thinking.”

 

“I'm fine,” Sango insisted, refusing to look up. `Do not show weakness. I am taijya and I am stronger than this!'

 

“You are not fine,” Miroku countered with frustration. Sango had been on edge since Naraku's attack, first worried about Kagome, then staring off into the distance and refusing to speak with him at length. This had to stop. “Something has obviously upset you! You are promised to me, are you suggesting you cannot trust me?” Normally able to calm himself, the tension of the past few days had begun to take their toll on everybody. Miroku breathed deeply, trying to steady his racing heart and provide a strong support for the woman he loved. “Is this about Kohaku?”

 

Sango's body jerked before she could suppress it. Tension wracked her frame, almost sent her trembling as she swallowed convulsively, still refusing to give in to the burning behind her eyes.

 

“What… what if Kohaku is lost?” she finally whispered. “Kikyou says she believes that crazy doctor could purify his shard because his soul was good. If that were true, wouldn't Kohaku not be Naraku's puppet? Wouldn't he be free and able to travel with us and avenge his people with me?”

 

“He would also still have memories of killing his family and comrades,” Miroku pointed out softly.

 

It was the wrong thing to say.

 

“I would help him!” Sango shouted, finally raising her head to glare holes through Miroku's face. “I would support him and let him know that it wasn't his fault!! I would help him heal!” She crumpled as anger gave way to despair. “I would rather he be dead that at that sick bastard's mercy,” she admitted. “Every time I see him and then lose him, it's like he's dying all over again.”

 

Miroku refused to back down in the face of Sango's anger. He took her shoulders again and shook her lightly, forcing her to pay attention to him. “We don't know that he's back in Naraku's grasp,” he soothed. “Kikyou said he was traveling with her for a time. It seems as though he may be with Sesshoumaru now.”

 

“Oh, that's a real help,” Sango scoffed. “From following a blood-thirsty maniac's orders to tagging along with a blood-thirsty youkai who is well-known for hating humans. Kohaku's really moving up in the world,” she sneered. “And that doesn't answer my first question,” she said, growing louder as her rant picked up speed. “If Kikyou is right, and Kohaku's still in trouble, does that mean his soul is inherently bad? That doctor killed dozens of people, if not more, and was able to find salvation in the end! What if Kohaku doesn't get that?”

 

Miroku didn't have the answers for Sango, and refused to lie. Caught between a rock and a hard place, he stared down his fiancé until she shook herself slightly and bent to pick up her weapon.

 

“Come on,” she sighed, “We still have a ways to go and the sun is almost setting.” She refused to meet his gaze as they marched double-time to catch up with the others.

 

Spectacular colors had just begun to paint the sky when the group reached a small village. Petals drifted on the wind and Sango closed her eyes, recalling how Kohaku had presented her with the bouquet of flowers and made her feel so loved… these flowers had a similar scent.

 

“What a nice smell,” Kagome said softly, taking in the view. “It's amazing. It's like the village is surrounded by flowers!”

 

Sango nodded, leaning down to study the blossoms. “Somehow, the fragrance relaxes my heart.”

 

Kikyou turned to notice InuYasha and Shippou had been lagging behind. InuYasha looked incredibly disgruntled; the kitsune looked ill. `Youkai do not get ill, do they?'

 

“What is the matter?” she questioned as InuYasha drew closer.

 

InuYasha put his hand over the lower part of his face. “Feh. The scent's not relaxing. It's makin' me queasy.”

 

Before Kikyou could respond, an elderly voice called out behind them. “You travelers? The sun is setting soon. You should stay in the village tonight.”

 

“We have a house set up for travelers,” another villager added. “So please, use it as you wish!”

 

“It's okay?” Kagome asked, looking between the villagers and InuYasha. He looked as though he would be stubborn, but Kikyou spoke up.

 

“It would be wise to stay here and gather our strength. The shard does not feel as though it is moving away; it feels closer. We should allow it to come to us, if possible.” InuYasha reluctantly agreed.

 

“Well, that's lucky,” Miroku stated as they headed toward a hut the villagers claimed was prepared for visitors.

 

**********

 

After a delicious dinner and her ritual efforts to restore the barrier holding her soul inside Kikyou's body, Kagome sat against a wall and began meditating. Kaede had suggested she take up the practice in order to hone what small amount of miko power she had left. Kaede and even Kikyou both said she had untapped reserves of power inside her, but she was at a loss how to use them. Meditation, they claimed, would help.

 

InuYasha sat next to her, eyes shut but ears twitching at each tiny sound. She tried to clear her mind but found herself unable to. Something strange and unidentifiable was tickling at her senses. Rather than puzzle it out, Kagome turned to InuYasha instead.

 

“Aren't you tired, InuYasha?”

 

“Feh, aren't you?”

 

Kagome shook her head.

 

About to suggest she lay down anyway, InuYasha sneezed, and then sneezed harder. Sniffling, he glared around the room. “Damn it, the scent of those flowers has gotten stronger. It's disgusting!” He stared at Kagome, who was rubbing her chest lightly. “Oi, you okay?”

 

“It's… weird. Like my heart is being irritated,” she replied, looking around the room. She was interrupted from elaborating when Shippou began sneezing, too. She stood to tend to him, but Kikyou moved faster.

 

InuYasha stood, walking to the door and grimacing at the smell wafting in from outside. He sneezed again.

 

“Hay fever?” Kagome muttered, noticing how stuffy Shippou and InuYasha seemed.

 

Kikyou shook her head, eyeing the door suspiciously. “Do you not feel the growing youki? Something strange is in this village. I thought it was odd that a village that did not seem prosperous would have a lodging house for travelers.”

 

InuYasha had moved to the doorway. His low growl alerted Kagome, who moved to join him. As she watched, villagers began gathering and wandering through the flower beds. InuYasha sneezed again, three in sharp succession and the odd feeling in her heart intensified as vines suddenly began to creep out and wrap around the legs of the villagers.

 

“It's so comforting,” one elderly man said with a strange smile, as though he did not notice the roots at all.

 

Another villager agreed, “My heart is comforted. Aaahhh, I'm so happy…”

 

The villagers, celebrating their eased hearts, began crying tears of red.

 

…Tears that looked very much like blood.

 

 

A/N:

 

The end of this chapter corresponds with the beginning of manga chapter 471, “Kaou”

 

As always, my sincere gratitude and love go out to my beta, angelica_incarnate, for her time and effort in reining in my runaway prose and prodding me for more in parts where words failed me.

 

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any other characters from the anime/manga. They all belong to Rumiko Takahashi.