InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dancing with Scissors ❯ Lost and Found ( Chapter 29 )

OakView Mall, the region's largest shopping center, was considered by many to be Retail Mecca. Located in a distant suburb and anchored by Nordstrom and Macys, it covered over a million square feet and housed almost two hundred stores and attractions, including high-end luxury shops, a fifteen-screen cinema, and a huge indoor playground and climbing wall. On that particular late Friday afternoon it was crowded with people, crammed in like sweaty, bargain-hunting sardines, high on the fumes of holiday consumerism.

 

Kagome saw the length of the line in front of Santa's Workshop and breathed a sigh of relief; it wasn't nearly as long as she had feared.

 

She had been up late the night before, drinking, caroling, and carousing with Bank and Jak, and the small hangover she had been trying to ignore the whole day was asserting itself. The throbbing in her temples had begun during an argument with Sesshoumaru when they arrived at the mall. He drove straight to the valet parking, sending her into a vituperative denunciation of privilege and insisting that they park like normal people. Unfortunately the ramp was full, forcing them into the farthest reaches of the large, flat lot. The frigid walk, her guilt at Rin's chattering teeth, and Sesshoumaru's glowering disapproval didn't help. The throng and loud, annoying seasonal music once they were inside intensified the pain behind her eyes, so Kagome was pleasantly surprised that the line seemed manageable. Perhaps she wasn't meant to suffer a full-blown headache after all. “Well that's not too bad. Given that we had to park in East Jesus I figured we'd be waiting forever.”

 

Sesshoumaru frowned down at her. “I'll remind you our parking situation is because of your high-minded mulishness.” Her rambling diatribe and the resulting six minute walk from the car to the doors in freezing temperatures hadn't been amusing. “And I suggest you take a better look at the line.”

 

The line, Kagome realized, was only those who had paid the in-house photographer; the actual queue behind the cash register was much longer, zigzagging back and forth and going around a corner. “Crap.” She dug in her purse for ibuprofen.

 

“What made you want to come here anyway? Surely you didn't expect anything different?”

 

“I've never been here before. I wanted to come because I heard they had a really nice multi-cultural, holiday display. Seriously…I had no idea it would be this crowded.”

 

“Kagome,” he said with disdain, “they broke the record for attendance last weekend. You could have picked a less-busy day of the week.”

 

The irritation in his voice made her instantly defensive. “I picked a Friday,” she growled, “so we wouldn't have to worry about getting Rin home early on a school night. How was I to know half the people in the tri-state area had the same stupid idea. I assumed the big crowds would show up on Saturday and Sunday. A reasonable assumption. How are you such an authority on this place anyway?” She hated how snide she sounded. In the week since he had kissed her, Sesshoumaru had only been to the guest house once—for thirty seconds to drop off Rin after picking her up from school. Kagome knew he was busy, but he gave no indication that the kiss was anything more than a one-time occurrence and if that was the case, Kagome didn't know how to feel about it. Her confusion made her peevish.

 

“I haven't been here in five years, since the ribbon cutting ceremony, but I stay informed of the family businesses.”

 

Kagome's mouth hung open. “Wait…you own this?”

 

“This is a Taisho, Incorporated property.” Sesshoumaru paused, quiet a moment. “It was what my father was…devoted to when he had his heart attack. I had just finished my masters program and instead of accepting an offer I had from a firm in London, I moved back here to tie up the loose ends while he recovered.”

 

Kagome remembered he had turned down Julliard to satisfy his father and his own sense of responsibility, and she wondered how carefully chosen his words were. “I'm sorry,” she said, laying a hand on his arm. “I was out late last night, and my burgeoning headache has made me bitchy.”

 

“I was at the office until midnight and went back at seven this morning. I'm short-tempered as well.”

 

Rin had been watching, getting more and more upset at the hostility between them. “I'm sorry. Is it my fault you guys are fighting? I'm the one who wanted to see Santa.”

 

Sesshoumaru and Kagome looked at each other, both instantly remorseful. In the midst of their bickering, they had forgotten Rin.

 

“Honey, it's not your fault at all,” Kagome said and bent down to hug her.

 

“Rin, we both want to be here with you.” Sesshoumaru ruffled Rin's hair until she lost the hurt puppy look. “Your aunt and I temporarily overlooked the fact that we are all in this together. Alright?” Rin nodded. “Shall we get in line?”

 

As they made their way through the teeming crowd, dodging strollers and people distracted by cell phones, Kagome nudged Sesshoumaru with her elbow. “I like it when we're on the same team. And sorry for the stuff I said about entitlement and snobbery.”

 

He nodded once. It was oddly comforting to know that, despite the considerable warming of his feelings toward her, she could still irritate the hell out of him.

 

They took their place at the end of the line, and Kagome noticed that Rin was staring at the floor, moping and silent. She thought Rin seemed a little off when they picked her up at Haven, but assumed it was because she was in need of a snack. “Rin Rin,” she asked, “are you okay?”

 

Rin shrugged.

 

“What is it, honey?”

 

“You know how Mommy said that the Santas that we see before Christmas are representatives of the real Santa in the North Pole?”

 

Kagome nodded. She remembered Kikyou's explanation the year before when Rin asked her how Santa could be at Children's Museum and the Zoo at the same time.

 

“Is the real Santa Claus real?” Her voice was small and worried.

 

Kagome bristled and her upper lip twitched. “Who have you been talking to?”

 

She shrugged again. “I told Brittney that I was going to see Santa today after school, and she said there's no such thing. She said Santa is a lie that grown-ups tell kids to make them act good.”

 

Sesshoumaru had no idea how to handle the situation—this was an area with which he had absolutely no experience—and was relieved when Kagome took charge. She knelt in front of the girl and took the little hands in her own. “Rin, I believe in Santa.”

 

Rin looked deep into her aunt's eyes, and her face broke into a delirious grin. “No.” She threw her arms around Kagome's neck and hugged her tightly. “I knew it! I knew Santa was real. I knew you would make it better.”

 

Kagome blinked back tears and looked at Sesshoumaru. He seemed impressed, something that pleased her. “Of course, sweetie.” She gave Rin a loud smooch and stood back up. “The line seems to be moving along okay.” They scooted forward.

 

After a moment, Sesshoumaru whispered into Kagome's ear, “You are a talented liar.”

 

Kagome winked at him. “What makes you think I'm lying?” she whispered back.

 

“Can we play I Spy?” Rin asked. It was their default standing-in-line game. Kagome and Sesshoumaru's frustration and impatience had disappeared, and now that Kagome had restored her faith in the correct order of the universe, all was right in her world again. “Uncle Sesshoumaru, you can go first.”

 

“How do we play?”

 

Rin rolled her eyes. She had never met anyone who didn't know how to play I Spy. “I'll go first,” she grumbled, impatient. “You'll see.” Her Uncle read bed-time stories and gave shoulder rides almost as good as her Daddy, but he still had a lot to learn. She looked around at the sparkling decorations in the store windows and the people everywhere. They would be able to play for hours. “I spy with my little eye…something shiny.”

 

XxXxX

 

Rin, for an hour and a half, watched the line in front of them shrink as her excitement level grew. The trio waited together, playing I Spy and other time-wasting games and engaged in general people watching. In Rin's estimation, the place was almost as interesting as the airport. Sesshoumaru had returned a few calls he deemed important, then informed them that he was officially no longer at work and switched his phone off. Kagome acted silly, making a great show to congratulate him and say the first step was the hardest. Rin was afraid that he would get mad that she was teasing him, but he only smiled a little and shook his head. Finally it was her turn to sit on Santa's lap, and she knew exactly what to request.

 

The seed had been planted the day after Thanksgiving when she overheard Kagome talking to Sango on the phone. All I know is that if he kisses me again, I'm doomed. Rin didn't think she sounded very doomed at all. The seed germinated when her uncle brought her home from school that Wednesday. Kagome was in the kitchen making lasagna, and he left quickly before he could be invited for dinner. He had told her he needed to go back to work, but Rin knew he really wanted to stay. And she knew Kagome wanted him to stay too. Now her idea was in full bloom.

 

She and Santa exchanged pleasantries. He asked her name and age. She told him that she had moved and, after receiving reassurance that he would find her new house on Christmas Eve, asked what cookies she should leave out by the tree. Then the all important question. “Rin, what would you like for Christmas this year?”

 

She didn't miss a beat. “I want my aunt and uncle to get married and for him to come and live with us.”

 

Santa stared at her a moment and asked about her parents. After Rin told him they died that spring, Santa asked her to point out her aunt and uncle. Kagome, visibly as giddy and bouncy as the children around her, was clutching Sesshoumaru's sleeve and taking a picture with her phone. “Ah…I see. You look very much like your aunt. I can't make any promises, but I'll see what I can do. They must care about you a great deal.”

 

Rin nodded and gave him a peck on the cheek; it was good enough. She returned to Kagome and Sesshoumaru, took their hands, and led them away.

 

“What did you ask for from Santa?” Kagome didn't bother to mask her nosiness.

 

“Not telling.” Rin wasn't exactly sure if the same rules for wishing on the first star of the night applied to Santa, but she wasn't about to take chances. And she couldn't really tell the truth anyway.

 

Kagome laughed and hugged her. She took Rin's refusal to share as a sign that the girl was still a Believer. “Little creep.”

 

They walked through the Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, and Yule displays, slowly making their way to the second floor to do a little shopping. Sesshoumaru took Rin into the Lavin store to pick out something to give to his parents, and Kagome bought a stick of cocoa butter at The Body Shop for Sango. “Kikyou swore up and down it kept her pregnant belly from getting stretch marks,” she said. Purchases made and safely stowed in Kagome's large shoulder bag, they continued to wander and window shop.

 

“I'm hungry,” Rin declared at length. The big, soft pretzel Kagome had bought her while they waited in line had been consumed long ago, and she wondered if the two adults could hear the violent rumbling of her tummy.

 

Kagome checked the time on her cell phone. “No wonder…it's way after six. We'd be getting ready to eat dinner right now if we were home.”

 

“Can we eat here?” Rin looked at Sesshoumaru hopefully. She knew he, like her grandparents, wanted to give her everything she asked for, but she was also aware that Kagome had been telling all three Taishos that they needed to say No to her more often. She wasn't sure if food counted.

 

“Fine by me,” he said.

 

They went in the direction of the nearest elevators, Rin between the two adults, holding hands and swinging back and forth. She was happy, happier than she had been since Thanksgiving and the delicious thrill of pretending to be sick. The afternoon had turned out wonderfully. They waited with the crowd, watching the numbers above the two elevators until one of the doors yawned open and a large group spilled out. “Can I push the button?” Rin asked as they shuffled in among the mass of other shoppers.

 

“Sure honey,” Kagome replied. “The food court is on the third floor.”

 

Sesshoumaru frowned. He despised fast food. “Let's go to P. F. Chang's instead.”

 

“The wait at the downtown Chang's is two hours on a good night,” Kagome groaned, as she was jostled to the back of the elevator. “This place is packed. Rin can't wait that long to eat.”

 

“I can have us seated within ten minutes.”

 

She glared at him, hating a repeat of the parking lot conversation. “Cutting the line is unfair.”

 

“While I admire your sense of justice and equality, this ridiculous need to ignore the advantages I can offer has grown stale.” She was unbelievably sexy when argumentative, and he was nearly overcome by an urge to kiss the intractability off her face, but in an elevator crowded with people was hardly the time or the place. “Now quit being so stubborn.”

 

“But…what kind of message is that sending to Rin?”

 

“The message it sends Rin is that her uncle cares about her needs and wants to feed her.” When the door opened at the third floor, he gripped her arm firmly and ignored her look of indignant disbelief. Half of the people exited, and he didn't allow her to follow. “Just let me do this,” he said with as much patience as he was capable of.

 

“But…”

 

He could sense her resistance was crumbling. “Don't worry, Kagome. No one will mistake you for anyone other than a proud member of the unwashed masses.”

 

She saw the amused warmth in his eyes and grinned. “I love it when you talk like that.”

 

The elevator came to a final stop at the fourth floor, where P. F. Chang's and the cinema were located. The last of the riders stepped off and dispersed.

 

“I don't think they have a children's menu,” Kagome said. “I hope they do half portions…although cold Chinese leftovers are my favorite breakfast. What do you think, honey? In the mood for spicy?”

 

They looked around. Rin was nowhere in sight.

 

XxXxX

 

Rin surveyed the food court with trepidation. Her experience with fast food was limited to the few times her father had convinced her mother that an occasional Happy Meal wasn't going to ruin her health. She recognized the golden arches, but beyond that she would need some help in choosing. “Kagome? What will I like?” She glanced back. Instead of her aunt there was a group of women wearing frumpy Christmas sweaters. “Kagome?” she said, a little louder. She scanned the crowd for her uncle, fully expecting to see his tall form walking toward her, but neither he nor Kagome appeared.

 

She quickly figured out that the restaurant Sesshoumaru had mentioned was on a different floor and she had gotten off the elevator too soon. She ran back to the elevators and squeezed into one just before it closed. When the doors opened, Rin was the first person out, but realized too late that it had gone down, not up. She was back on the second floor. She spun around in time to see both elevators close and continue down to the first floor.

 

All around her the holiday music and decorations that earlier seemed so cheery and fun now only brought chaos and confusion. She was in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by strangers, and the two people she trusted to never let anything bad happen to her weren't there. Rin's heart pounded loud in her ears and she felt like she was underwater. For the first time in her five years, she was lost and alone.

 

XxXxX

 

“Shit.” Kagome said, her face turning a shade paler. “She got off on the food court level.”

 

“The stairs are this way.” Sesshoumaru grabbed Kagome's hand and led her toward a brightly lit exit sign.

 

She stopped short. “Wait. What if she tries to come up here? Should one of us stay in case?”

 

Sesshoumaru looked at the elevators. The numbers indicated they were both on the third floor and going down. “I think we'll have better luck if we try to go after her. The elevator won't be back up here for several minutes.” He pushed through the line of would-be diners and gave the hostess at P. F. Chang's a business card, telling her that if a small black-haired girl got off the elevator to keep her there and call him.

 

The scene at the food court was a nightmare. It was swimming with people, more crowded than the area around Santa's Workshop. They split up and searched through the sea of humanity—Kagome checked the restrooms and people waiting in line for food, and Sesshoumaru combed through row after row of tables. Ten minutes later they met at the stairs.

 

“She's not on this level,” Sesshoumaru said. “You go down to the second floor, I'll check the first.”

 

“Sesshoumaru…we can't—”

 

“Kagome, stop.” Sesshoumaru grasped her arms and forced her to look into his eyes, refusing either of them to lose control. “We haven't lost her,” he said, his voice steady and determined. “We'll find her. Meet me back here in twenty minutes.”

 

She nodded weakly; he almost had her convinced.

 

Kagome went to the second floor and tried to keep tight hold of the panic that curled around her like icy fingers. She peered in every store, hoping to catch sight of a small girl or some miraculous sign that pointed the way, but saw only faceless bodies that weren't Rin. Everywhere, everything wasn't Rin. Her nervous agitation wouldn't let her walk slowly, yet she was terrified that she wasn't looking closely enough and would miss her. When she realized she was back at her starting point and her niece was still lost, the world began to spin. Please let her have gone down to Santa. Please let him find her. Please, please. “Please.”

 

Back on the food court level, her heart fell. Sesshoumaru was waiting for her, alone. The worry that broke through his usually stoic, placid features shattered the remains of the calm she was clinging to. Panic and her morbid imagination began to overwhelm her, and she started to shake.

 

“Kagome,” he said, again grasping her shoulders to keep her from losing herself, “it's okay.” He had seen her upset before, but her stricken expression threatened to rob him of his last bit of self-control. An unbidden image of Rin looking for them, crying and vulnerable made it worse. “We have to stay calm. We'll find her. Let's go down to the customer service desk. By now she's asked for help and someone took her there.”

 

Kagome shook her head, eyes wide with fear. “What if…what if it's him? What if he followed me?” she whispered. “What if he took her?”

 

Sesshoumaru was incredulous a moment, then his face hardened. There was no doubt about the he she was referring to. “The security center is on the first floor.”

 

They hurried down. Within a few minutes they were standing among a handful of mall cops, all attention trained on the several dozen video screens showing the security cameras set up throughout the mall and parking lots. Unfortunately the screens were black and white and the description of a cute, petite black-haired girl wearing a bright yellow puffy coat made it difficult for a stranger to spot anything.

 

“Is that her?” a guard asked, pointing to a screen in front of him. It showed Rin, wiping tears and licking a lollipop, walking with a tall, balding man. The mall cops looked at them.

 

“I...it's her…but I don't know who that man is.” Kagome's knees buckled, and Sesshoumaru caught her as she swayed.

 

“I'm going after her. Which parking lot is that?”

 

The pair disappeared from the screen. “It's the far west portion of Lot Five,” a guard said, “but if we wait a minute, we'll see if they come back into view in camera seventeen or camera eighteen. Then we'll know the fastest way to reach them. Where they are now is in the middle of a couple different exits.”

 

Sesshoumaru seethed. His instinct was to immediately run to her rescue, but without a more pinpointed target, he was guessing at best and blind at worst. Inaction was unacceptable, but getting there too late or to the wrong place was unthinkable. “Why aren't they coming back into view?” It had been an intolerably long minute.

 

“There are small areas not covered by surveillance,” another guard said. “Maybe he's parked in one of the blind spots. We should be looking at the other screens too, at the cars exiting. If we can get a license plate number, the State Highway Patrol can issue an Amber Alert.”

 

The words Amber Alert hit Kagome like a punch to the gut. She buried her face in Sesshoumaru's chest, sure that if not for his arm around her she would have fallen. They were living every parent's worst nightmare. “Please get her back.”

 

“I will.” He looked back at the screens, but they didn't change. “I'm not waiting. Call me when they come back onscreen and tell me which direction to go.” He guided Kagome into a chair.

 

As Kagome took her phone out of her pocket, it rang. The number was unfamiliar. “Hello?” she said, coasting numbly on auto-pilot.

 

“Kagome? This is Alec, Shippou's other dad,” the voice at the other end said. “I've got Rin with me. I found her wandering around the second floor. She said she got separated from you. I wanted to call right away, but I realized I had left my cell in the car. She's upset and cold, but she's okay.”

 

Kagome released a long-held breath. “Ohmygod. Oh my god.” All the panic and dread and guilt were replaced with a relief so intense she had to put her head down on her knees to control the trembling.

 

“She's okay. We're at my car, which is closest to…the Macy's entrance at ladies shoes. We'll meet you there in a few minutes.”

 

Kagome looked up at the faces watching her and mumbled an explanation that Rin had been found by a family friend. She and Sesshoumaru blurted quick thanks to the security crew and set out for Macy's.

 

As they walked, Kagome let loose a cathartic string of obscenities, then pulled a silver flask from her bag and drank deeply. “Holy fuck. Maker's Mark never tasted so good.” She extended the flask to Sesshoumaru.

 

He was used to her tendency to curse like a particularly vulgar sailor, even gaining a reluctant, horrified appreciation for the creative foulness of her mouth. He accepted the flask and drank, letting the amber liquor coat his nerves. It dulled the dangerous knife-edge of the tragedy they had dodged enough to ease back into the safeness of reality. “Do you always carry bourbon in your purse?”

 

“Not typically. I went out caroling last night with Bank and Jak. Had to have something to keep me going in the cold.”

 

As they got closer to the shoe section of Macy's, Kagome began to walk faster until she was practically running. Rin saw her from across the space and took off, flying into her arms. Kagome caught her niece and held her small body close. Rin started to sob.

 

Kagome sank to the floor. “We're here, honey. We've got you.”

 

Sesshoumaru reached them a moment later. Rin was crying, and Kagome rocked her gently, hushing with soothing sounds.

 

“I want Mommy,” Rin cried. “I want Mommy and Daddy. I want my Mommy and Daddy.”

 

Kagome found her center, her strength. The accident that killed her own parents, the absence of Kikyou and Inuyasha were again stabbing her, reopening the wound of death and loss, but this she had faced down before. And this was comfort she knew how to provide. “Baby, I know. I know.” She simply let her cry, whispering that she missed them too, apologies, and promises of safety.

 

Sesshoumaru knelt next to them. Years ago, a frightened boy away from home, he had schooled himself not to show emotions, thinking that if he didn't let the pain show on his face he could better push it away. It had become second nature, but now his façade was in danger of cracking. Rin's pleas for her parents cut into a part of him that had been long buried. The hurt child. The child alone. Fortunately his relief at finding Rin made it easy enough for him to once again ignore his feelings of the past. He took Kagome's hand, and she squeezed back. They were each other's support.

 

Rin lifted her tear-stained face from Kagome's bosom and looked at her uncle. He put his arms out to her, and she crawled into his lap for a fresh burst of sobs. After a minute, they stood, none paying mind to the crowd that had gathered to watch the drama unfolding.

 

Kagome recovered sufficiently to remember their savior standing nearby. “Alec, thank you. So much.” They shook hands, then embraced awkwardly.

 

“I know we've never actually met, but I recognized Rin from volunteering at Haven.”

 

“I just thank heaven you were the one to find her…and completely blame myself that we got separated.”

 

“No worries. It happens to the best of us. Rin's a brave girl.” He backed away and gave them space. “I've got a flight tomorrow and need to do all my shopping before the mall closes. Take care.”

 

“Thanks again,” she said. “Give my best to Jason and Shippou.”

 

Sesshoumaru shifted Rin to one arm and put the other around Kagome. “Let's go home.”

 

XxXxX

 

Back at the guest house, Kagome heated up leftovers for them while Sesshoumaru distracted Rin with petting the dog and encouraging her to tell him about the snow fort she and Inuyasha had built after the first major snowfall the year before. Rin, someone who under normal circumstances ate up every minute of bedtime attention like a glutton, was even more clingy when they tucked her in and insisted that they both stay with her—no songs, no stories, just them sitting on either side of her little bed until she fell asleep. Kagome and Sesshoumaru were painfully aware of her need for reassurance and stability and were too happy to oblige. Both felt at fault for the elevator flirtation that accounted for their lapse in supervision.

 

Kagome rubbed Rin's back and saw that her eyes were growing heavy. “I don't know what you're doing tomorrow night,” she said softly to Sesshoumaru, “but I got a text from Sango on the ride home. Seems her positive pregnancy test has left her unable to stay awake past eight, and now I have an extra ticket to the Nutcracker ballet. If you aren't busy, would you like to go with us?” Rin snapped to attention to hear his answer.

 

Sesshoumaru stroked the unruly dark hair. “Go to sleep.” He had worked fourteen hour days that past week in order to ensure his weekend was relatively clear and he could spend time with them. There was nothing he would rather do. “I'd enjoy that; it's been years since I've seen it. I've got to go to the office in the morning…but would you like to get dinner first? Maybe at Arabesque? I'll have Leon ask the chef to work up a children's menu.”

 

Kagome quirked a smile. “You mean you're not going to your mother's bridge club holiday brunch tomorrow morning?”

 

“God no,” he said with a laugh. “Don't tell me you got roped into it.”

 

“Not unwillingly. I like your mom. And I'd love to do dinner first…but I made a total ass of myself the last time I was in Arabesque.”

 

“If memory serves, you gave my family a well-deserved public shaming. Don't feel you aren't welcome there.”

 

Kagome was thoughtful. “We've come a long way, haven't we?”

 

They were quiet as Rin's breathing deepened and the worry that creased her brow disappeared.

 

“With her eyes closed, she looks exactly like you. Only aged forward twenty odd years.”

 

Kagome was struck by a memory of Inuyasha checking in on a sleeping Rin. He and Kikyou had just returned from the airport after their trip to New York, and he took the steps two at a time to see Rin, even though she had long since been in bed. Kiddo, you look just like Mommy when you sleep. She felt tears, too long held back, hot behind her eyes. It was high time for a breakdown. “I think she's out.”

 

They took care not to wake Rin as they left the room and parental duties temporarily behind. The emotional weight of the evening had taken its toll. Kagome slumped against the wall of the darkened corridor and put her face in her hands. Sesshoumaru pulled her close and held her, both still needing the other, as though they were the only people capable of understanding what they had been through.

 

Kagome shook her head violently. “I don't want to ever feel like that again,” she said. “I want to die when I think about what could have happened.”

 

He silently concurred. “Don't think about that then,” he said. He took her hands and pulled them down from her face. “It's my fault. I can't believe I didn't see her getting off the elevator.”

 

“Sesshoumaru, don't blame yourself. I should have been watching her better. She's my responsibility, and I let her down.”

 

“She's not your responsibility alone. How about we agree that we are equally at fault, thankful that this ended well, and resolve to never let it happen again?”

 

Kagome sniffed back her tears. “Agreed.” She looked up at him. “And what about you?” she asked gently. “Back on the floor of Macy's, you seemed so…sad. Like someone I'd never met before.”

 

He didn't know if she was that perceptive or if he had become less unreadable. “I'm alright now.”

 

“I noticed. But you can only repress for so long. If you'd like to talk, I'm a good listener.”

 

He smoothed black strands of hair away from her face and caressed the angled edge of her jaw. “Not tonight.” He had had enough drama; it was time to move on to other, better things.

 

She nodded. She was patient. “Would you like some tea?” If he could still repress, she could still be in denial.

 

“Not particularly.” He rubbed his thumb across the fullness of her bottom lip and waited to see if she'd flinch.

 

Kagome stayed still as he lowered his face to hers and waited to see if the second kiss was as nice as the first. His lips were smooth and warm; it was good. Though the contact was brief, his intentions were obvious—this was meant to be the start of something. She opened her eyes slowly when they parted. He was still so close. “And what was that? You can't possibly say anything about this evening has been perfect.”

 

He smiled secretly at her reference to their first kiss. “It isn't over yet.” He kissed her again, longer, lingering over her mouth.

 

Kagome pulled back. Even in the dim light of the hallway, she could see heat and passion vivid in his amber eyes. “But…you don't even like me.” Denial was raging against the dying of the light.

 

“I changed my mind about you a long time ago, Kagome.”

 

He moved closer, and she tilted her face to meet him halfway. This kiss she returned, hesitant at first, recognizing a familiar, if neglected, act. She reached up and laid her palms along the sculpted lines of his cheekbones, threading her fingers through the long hair at his temples, as their mouths became hotter, frenzied and needy. When their tongues touched and they finally, fully took in the other's taste, Kagome moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself into him. She was aware of every place their bodies met, the way her slender curves fit so perfectly against the lean, hard planes of his chest and abdomen. Her first coherent thought was lusty delight that he was such a good kisser. Her second was that her entire being was now fiery with desire and it seemed a crime against nature that they were still vertical. The dam had been breached and soon there would be no holding back.

 

She stopped and rested her forehead against his, breathless. “Wait,” she panted. “If we don't stop now…you know where this is going?”

 

His answer was to reclaim her mouth. With little more than a pivot of their bodies, they were through Kagome's bedroom doorway and tumbling onto her bed. They landed side by side, hair tangled together, and quickly resumed their explorations. Sesshoumaru was relieved she responded to him with such passionate, gentle aggression. Kagome thrilled to learn that he shared her love of biting and being bitten.

 

He laid her back and settled above. The room was dark, but the unfiltered moonlight coming through the window glinted in her deep, dark eyes and lent a glow to her ivory skin. He had never seen anyone so lovely. He kissed her mouth again, then turned his attention elsewhere, first to the jaw line he had stroked minutes before, then to her throat. Working his way down, he teased the smooth flesh, eventually focusing on a pulse point and the raging blood under her skin. Kagome writhed and moaned beneath him, her fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He would have preferred to take his time, slowly undressing and kissing every inch of her over the entire night, but her impatience was infectious. There would be time for deliberate indolence in the near future.

 

Kagome tried to be still, tried not to rip the buttons apart, but he was making her crazed with a fierce need she hadn't felt in ages. It would hardly have been fair, had she not loved every second of it. The torturous attention lavished her on her neck, the sucking and kissing and nibbling, made her a slave to his lips and teeth and tongue and the wonderful, intolerable sensations that coursed through her body and centered between her legs. She felt his hand move down her side to graze the outer curve of her breast, then it stopped and lingered, playing circles with the roundness and tight nipple. She groaned his name and arched into his hand, yearning for more and needing to give back. Buttons finally dealt with, she slipped her hands down his chest and pulled his undershirt up to touch the contours of his muscled abdomen. The naked torso that had reduced her to incoherence after the Halloween party was now hers to enjoy.

 

The contact shook him, and he produced a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a hiss. His reaction to her small, confident hands and the way she ran her palms and fingers over his ribs to his back, stroking and discovering, made him realize that the assumption that he was seducing her was false. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she desired it as much as he did. He had hardly expected a wilting virgin, but her eagerness, after so much waiting and wondering, was a powerful drug. And he only wanted more. More of her; more of her wanting him.

 

Kagome felt herself swooning. The raw, unguarded noise he made turned her on as much as his mouth and his hands. In the few times she had seriously entertained thoughts of him as a sexual partner, she assumed he would be closed off and cold; the man with her now was anything but that. Not only did she find him beyond sexy, he was attentive and responsive in ways that surprised her. And ways that made her mind reel with what it would be like when silly barriers like clothing were no longer present. I could be in serious trouble here, she thought. It's much easier to keep one's defenses up if one's partner remains detached, and Kagome was confronted with the notion that there could be more to this encounter than simple casual sex. “Wait,” she whispered. “Please.”

 

He stopped kissing her collar bone and looked up. “What's wrong?”

Instead of the feared irritation, she only saw concern on his face. “I need to ask you…this…what is this? For you. Is it about needing to let off some steam because of what happened tonight? Because if it is, that's fine. I just need to know.”

 

“Kagome,” he said, shaking his head wearily, “you idiot.” After wanting her for months and not keeping his wishes from her for the past several weeks, it seemed to him she was being deliberately obtuse. “This is about us; nothing else.” He kissed her gently. “What is it to you?” He was almost, almost afraid to hear her answer.

 

“I don't know,” she admitted. “I haven't had sex in two years, give or take. And for a long time, when I did it was glorified one-night-stands or flings with negative emotional commitment. I still carry a lot of baggage and am sorely out of practice at intimacy, but I'm good with finally breaking the drought. If this is just for tonight, I can handle it. But if it is, I need to know that you are at least going to give me the time of day tomorrow.”

 

“I would never treat you like that,” he said, stiffening. “I thought you knew me better than that.”

 

Kagome felt him pulling away—the last thing she wanted. “I do. I just needed to cover my bases.” She drew him closer again and kissed him. “Now stop pouting before I change my mind and throw you out.”

 

He put an end to her teasing by biting her upper lip. A delicious bite that made her squirm. “I'll make sure you don't change your mind.”

 

She smiled in the dark. “You're pretty confident of your skills in bed.” She purred as his hand slid under her sweater and stroked her flat belly, toying with her navel. Point proven. “I think you have too many clothes on.”

 

“Same to you,” he said.

 

They quickly sat up. Kagome straddled his legs before he had a chance to move. She eased the linen Oxford over his broad shoulders and revealed a sleeveless undershirt. “Good god, you're made of sexy.” She had a weakness for the tastelessly named wife-beater on a well-built male body and considered asking him to keep it on, but decided her little fetish could wait until the next time. He let her slide the knit cotton up slowly, trailing kisses up his sternum, until the shirt was pulled off and tossed aside. Kagome leaned forward and put her arms around his neck to catch the hair that fell and pooled like silk in her hands. Yes, made of sexy. Her mouth found his again, and she felt his hands at her back, traveling up and down the length of her spine, lifting her sweater and the camisole underneath.

 

Kagome reluctantly stopped kissing him, sat back, and pulled off the layers, leaving her topless. She immediately felt exposed and vulnerable; her breath caught in her throat. She abruptly looked away and fought the memories of shame that assaulted her. Then his arms were around her, bringing her close, and his hair fell over her shoulder. He stroked the back of her neck, just holding her until her breathing calmed. She felt safe again; she trusted him. “I'm sorry I'm such a wreck.” She gave a short laugh. “I swear I'm not trying to be confusing on purpose.”

 

“You're not a wreck.” He tilted her face up. Her eyes were wide, but no longer filled with fear. “I just don't want you to have any regrets.”

 

“No regrets.” She took his hand and guided it to her chest and brushed her tongue over his lips.

 

No further encouragement was needed. Sesshoumaru circled her waist with one arm and caressed her breast with his other hand, memorizing the curves and softness, the smooth skin and the sensitive peak. Their kisses became longer and deeper. Her doubts were forgotten, and once again their world centered on need and desire. Kagome, flushed and panting, pressed forward with her hips, grinding rhythm into his hard, prominent erection. She wondered if he had any idea how wet she was.

 

Sesshoumaru groaned. The motions of her hips were making him insane. “Kagome…”

 

“Let's get under the covers.”

 

Her jeans and his pants were quickly removed and blankets thrown back. Kagome gasped at the sudden cold of the sheets. “Fuck.” He shook his head and didn't bother to conceal his amusement. “Come here, potty mouth.” He gathered her shivering body to him and held her tightly. They stretched out their limbs, chest against chest, letting their hands explore the new expanses of naked skin.

 

Sesshoumaru sighed. He had spent most of his life with a feeling of dissatisfaction, a vague sense of being incomplete, but he had never been able to identify the nature or source. Restlessness, a desire to succeed was what he had assumed it to be. However as he acquired more power and moved toward the pinnacle of his career, the feeling increased instead of subsiding. And now he knew. He was missing someone with whom to share himself, to help take away the hollow burden of loneliness. He had found her, and she was lying with him, open and willing and wanting.

 

The soft caresses gained an urgency that, now that they were together between sheets, seemed primal. Hands wandered lower, tracing the dip and swell of a waist and hip, the sensuous power of a finely formed ass. Kagome curled her top leg over his hip and pressed her belly into the heat of his hard cock. The itch between her legs was driving her to distraction, and as if he could read her mind, his fingers found her wet folds, dragging slowly over her opening, teasing her clit.

 

The effect was electric. It was too much. “I need you,” she moaned. “I need you in me. Now. Do you have a condom?”

 

Her question had the effect of a slap to the face. All his condoms were in his room in the other house. “No. Shit.”

 

“Don't worry,” Kagome laughed. “I've got some. They're in a box under my bed. You do not get the Scarlet Award for Preparedness.” She rolled over to the other, very cold side of the bed and leaned down to retrieve the necessary item.

 

He heard her fumbling around and gave silent thanks that he didn't have to throw on clothes and venture into the freezing chill of the night, though he would have done it in a heartbeat. After a half minute that seemed an eternity, she was back, kissing him and ripping a condom package open. She stroked his cock, swirling moisture around the tip, and rolled the condom on. Normally she would have loved to prolong the foreplay, but this night was different. There would be future opportunities; right now the only thing that mattered was satisfying the immediacy of their craving for the other.

 

They rolled together, so that she was on her back, legs open, him lying on top. She put her arms around his neck, and they locked eyes. Behind the lust, there was understanding and acceptance. They were friends first and now to be lovers. He kissed her and paused, giving her a chance to change her mind. She smiled and said, “I'm sure.”

 

He entered her slowly, inch by inch, until their hips were touching. She was slick and hot and perfect. He wanted so badly to give up his tight grip on control. “Alright?”

 

“Alright,” she answered. “I confess I'm worried that in two years I've gotten a little rusty. I hate to think I'm bad in bed.”

 

“I have no prior experience to compare of course, but rusty isn't an adjective I'd use to describe you. You needn't worry about your reputation.” He kissed her. “What's that smirk for?”

 

“You talk an awful lot during sex.”

 

He chuckled and nuzzled her neck. “Coming from you, Kagome, that's pretty rich.”

 

She laughed. “Shut up and fuck me.”

 

His self-control was abandoned. They moved together, thrusting and pressing. Mouth at her neck, nails raking across his back. He had found what he had been blindly searching for, and now it was time to lose himself in her. He grabbed her hips and angled her body, deepening penetration. Her legs, which had been so often the subject of his fantasies, were now wrapped around his waist. Her voice, whispering and moaning his name, was beautiful. She was with him, his; nothing else mattered.

 

Kagome, who had shunned real life lovers for safer pleasures, was reminded of the joys of being with a partner—the weight of someone else's body on her own, another's smell, hands touching her, the sounds of gratification in her ear—a presence to hold and cherish and share the delirium as it rose and crested. She felt vulnerable and safe, confused and certain. It was so good to be fully alive again.

 

Afterward he lay back and pulled her onto his chest. Breathing gradually returned to normal, but they stayed together in their world apart.

 

“Sesshoumaru,” she said, “I'm glad it was with you.”

 

There were no words he would rather have heard.

 

&&&

 

I do not own Inuyasha, Nordstrom, Macy's, Lavin, The Body Shop, P. F. Chang's, McDonald's menu items or logos, Maker's Mark, Dylan Thomas quotes, or anything I may have overlooked. Thank you for reading!