InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dancing with Scissors ❯ Nutcracker, A Tale of Two Swords, and Continued Discovery ( Chapter 30 )

My sincere apologies for the tardiness of this update. I wanted to have it done six weeks ago, but Real Life has a tendency lately to kick me when I'm down. Thank you all for your continued interest in this fic.

 

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Oberon woke up, yawned, and moved back to his half of the bed, no longer relegated to the tiny portion by Kagome's feet. He liked the human male who had been spending time with his owner and the small one, and he didn't even mind sharing the part of the bed that he usually claimed. However, the man was gone now, and, just like a comfortable couch, an empty spot on a bed should not go to waste.

 

The movement roused Kagome, who blinked sleepily and focused on the alarm clock. Just after two a.m. She sighed and slid deeper under the covers. Still another five or six hours of sleep before Rin woke and the day began. She was just beginning to float back into the realm of sleep, when white hair and warm, talented hands tickled her brain. She sat up, gasping and heart pounding with half-panic brought on by the abrupt return to full consciousness, and realized she hadn't been lapsing back into a pleasant dream, but replaying what had happened a few hours before. She glanced at the empty pillow next to her. Sesshoumaru wasn't there.

 

Kagome breathed deeply and settled back down with a bemused smile. She last remembered lying with her head on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his breath and heartbeat as he played with the silky hairs on the back of her neck. He must have left sometime after she had fallen asleep. Safely alone, the blush on her face cooled, and she let her mind wander. The sex was definitely nice, she decided. Probably a lot more than simply nice, but she didn't want to place too much importance on a single, already significant act. Her period of self-imposed celibacy was over, at least for the moment, and Kagome was vigilant about safeguarding her emotions. Certainly the experience had been enjoyable. But there was no reason for her to assume it would happen again, and inflating it into something wonderful only increased the chances she would end up hurt. It is what it is, she told herself, nothing more. Satisfied that her protective barriers were still functioning, she closed her eyes and relaxed, though a noisy part of her screamed with ecstasy Idiot! It was amazing! Think of how great it will be when you find out what each other really likes! When sleep finally claimed her, Kagome was being tortured by her dual halves, one sternly reminding that she should be careful and one couldn't wait to be alone with him again.

 

XxXxX

 

“Kagome?” Rin climbed up on the bed and wedged her body between her aunt and the dog. “Kagome, wake up.”

 

Kagome opened an eye. She had been enjoying a light, dreamless sleep. “Hey, honey.” She quickly glanced at the alarm clock. Seven thirty. “How are you this morning?” She reached for her robe hanging on the corner of the headboard and slipped it over her shoulders. “Not feeling too afraid anymore, I hope.” She grabbed Rin and pulled her under the covers. To her relief, the girl didn't seem to have any immediately recognizable negative effects from the incident at the mall. In fact, Rin seemed to be quite excited about something.

 

“Is it true or did I dream it?”

 

“Dream what?” Kagome yawned.

 

Rin sighed with impatience. “Is my Uncle going to go to the Nutcracker with us?”

 

Kagome snorted a laugh. “Yes, he is. Not a dream. And we three are going out to dinner first.”

 

Rin smiled and snuggled in closer. She had woken up and hoped that the ephemeral memories of her aunt and uncle's bedside conversation were real and not something she made up while under the influence of sleep. There were too many times when she dreamed of her parents alive, only to wake to her reality. This was much nicer. “When are we going to grandmother's brunch?”

 

Kagome hugged Rin tight, the dark, soft hair tickling her face. She inhaled deeply. Her niece may have bounced back from her time being lost, but Kagome was shaken. There was still an acute need to just feel her close, physically touching, soaking her and reassurance up like she never had to let go. “We have plenty of lazy cuddle time. It's at ten thirty, so I'll give you a bath in a couple hours. You should have a piece of toast to tide you over though.” Kagome hoped she might be able to do a little cleaning or throw a load of laundry in before she had to get Rin ready and decide what to wear herself.

 

Anything to serve as a distraction.

 

The women who played bridge with Mrs. Taisho were an intimidating group. They were all highly educated and wealthy, belonging to the upper social strata, with very traditional attitudes about decorum. Kagome had been around them a handful of times and found them to be polite and somewhat friendly, and a few of them had even commissioned art from her. She also had an unsettled, nagging feeling like she was being judged and didn't measure up. She typically didn't care too much how anyone stereotyped her; she had no apologies to make. But she liked Mrs. Taisho and had to admit that she wanted her to like her back. The older woman was calm and reserved and had begun opening up, asking about her sister and the life she and Inuyasha had together. Kagome had confided in her about her own depression. She was the closest thing to a mother that Kagome had had in a long time.

 

Then a mortified realization poured through her, freezing the blood in her veins. She knew that at first all the attention of Mrs. Taisho and her friends would be on cute, little Rin, the only grandchild present. Inevitably though, the conversation would turn back to their favorite topic—Sesshoumaru and when, for the love of heaven, would he settle down and make one of their daughters happy. And Kagome would have to listen without blushing, listen without awkwardly betraying herself. She would have to listen and try not to show guilt that she had been naked with her hostess's son only twelve hours earlier. Kagome would have contemplated somehow faking sick, but all she could think of was the tight grip of his hand at her hip and his hot mouth at her neck. And the way he smelled and the way he tasted. And afterward, lying together, feeling safety and satisfaction.

 

Suddenly Rin pulled back and stared at her aunt.

 

“What?” Kagome blanched. Rin's unwavering, curious gaze made her feel like she was undergoing a wordless interrogation. She hadn't even gotten out of bed yet and already she was breaking into a cold sweat.

 

Rin's eyes widened, and she squealed. “Nothing.” She burrowed in close.

 

Kagome held her niece's small body and kissed the top of her head. She could have sworn Rin muttered something about Santa working fast.

 

XxXxX

 

“Wow.” Rin stopped in her tracks and stared open mouthed at the Taisho's formal dining room, which had been transformed into something that Rin could only think of, after prolonged exposure to the tacky, over-the-top seasonal kitsch at the mall the day before, as a Christmas Wonderland.

 

Kagome grinned and gave Rin a gentle push to join the holiday brunch. Rose told her a few days before that her team of interior designers was coming to decorate the mansion for Christmas. Though someone to do the dirty work of hanging the outdoor lights and getting the tree straight seemed kind of handy, Kagome couldn't imagine paying anyone to do a job that had always been such a source of enjoyment. Some of her best memories connected to Inuyasha and Kikyou were drinking Baileys and hot chocolate and decorating their apartment for the holidays, music playing gently and pot of soup simmering on the stove. She had to admit however as she surveyed the dining room, the professionals did an amazing job.

 

The table and sideboard were adorned with glittering beaded ribbon and shiny rhododendron leaves, the rich gold and green vivid against the ruby of the poinsettias on display. The chairs were covered in lush chintz fabric that matched the table runner and placemats. Boughs of mixed evergreen framed the windows, and candles were placed on all the sills. At the far end of the room was a large Douglas fir, decorated with white lights, a variety gilt bulbs, and the same beaded gold ribbon. The effect was elegant, festive, and, above all, tasteful. Kagome was impressed, and she wondered if there was another tree elsewhere in the house that was decorated with Taisho family mementos. This one, though stylish, was rather impersonal, like a scene from a magazine, not a real home.

 

“Are we going to have a Christmas tree, Kagome?”

 

“Yeah, sweetie. But it's only the first of December. A little too early for holiday decorating, in my opinion. We're still eating Thanksgiving leftovers.” Rin's harsh, impatient expression told Kagome that she didn't care what was in the fridge. “I'll go to the storage shed next week sometime.”

 

“Oh little Rin Taisho, look at you!” a loud voice called out.

 

They had been noticed. Rin frantically grabbed Kagome's hand as her grandmother's friends descended upon her. She generally liked attention, especially from adults, and understood that her position as a long-lost granddaughter, now found, was unique. But one could only be expected to put up with so much covetous cheek pinching, and Rin expected them to be used to her by now.

 

“Have you ever seen anyone so precious?” Mrs. Hideoshi said to the other women.

 

“A perfect little angel,” Kagura agreed.

 

“I could just eat you up!” another one said.

 

Rin's experience told her the last comment was the sort that was often followed by pinched cheeks and she moved to hide her face against Kagome's leg but was soon spared. Mrs. Taisho was joining them. “Grandmother!”

 

“Rin, darling.” Rose bent down and kissed the round cheek. “Your hair is adorable.”

 

Rin nodded and let the ringlets of hair tickle her neck. She had finally persuaded Kagome to give her a few curls with the hot rollers and hoped the hairstyle would last until the ballet. “Kagome did it.”

 

Rose straightened and embraced Kagome tightly. “Thank you so much for bringing Rin. We mother hens do enjoy doting on the young. And it's lovely to have you, Kagome.”

 

“Oh?” Kagura said. “Is Miss Higurashi staying for brunch? I assumed she was merely dropping off the child.”

 

“Of course she's staying,” Mrs. Taisho said lightly. “Kagome is fast becoming one of the family. Can I offer you something to drink, dear?”

 

Kagura and Mrs. Hideoshi's twin scowls spoke loud accusations of social climbing and made Kagome feel like a particularly unwelcome red-headed stepchild. Or, more accurately, a nanny who didn't know her place. Over the course of that morning she had made peace with the fact that she and Sesshoumaru had had sex—both of them wanted it, a condom was used, they would stay friends—she had no reason to feel bad. Now it suddenly seemed she was in a spotlight labeling her an Overreaching Intruder and the night before was the hugest mistake of her life.

 

The ingredients for mimosas were on the sideboard, and Kagome wondered if anyone would notice if she grabbed the champagne and drank it straight from the bottle, skipping the OJ and glass altogether. She felt Rin give her hand a squeeze, a silent, child version of a comforting pep talk. Mrs. Taisho, who hadn't seen the Hideoshi women's disapproval, continued to smile welcomingly at her. I'm stronger than this. She swallowed the lump in her throat and said, “I'd love a cup of coffee. Thank you.”

 

The brunch went better than Kagome had expected it would. Mrs. Taisho was a gracious hostess and made sure that Kagome, who didn't know many of the others very well, felt at ease. The women who had commissioned projects were eager to hear about the progress of the work, one offering a generous bonus if her wall hanging could be ready before she hosted her alumni cocktail party. They were all curious about Kagome's art and materials and asked her opinions on the latest trends in design. Modest about her own work, Kagome accepted their compliments with poise and spoke knowledgeably. She felt that she had impressed some of them, though she couldn't shake the feeling that others didn't think she belonged. She accepted it. The opinions of a select few mattered far more than that of strangers. This wasn't her world, but she was making an attempt, and Mrs. Taisho's approving nod gave her confidence.

 

After the plates had been cleared, the conversation turned to country club gossip, and Rin, bored, began to twirl and imagine she was a ballerina.

 

“I spoke with Sesshoumaru earlier this morning,” Mrs. Taisho said with an amused smile. Though she adored her boys, she had always wanted a girl, and Rin's graceful antics granted years of wish fulfillment. “He told me that he is going to The Nutcracker with you tonight.”

 

Rin nodded as she teetered dizzily. “Sango was supposed to go with us, but she's tired all the time, so my Uncle is going instead. I'm gonna wear my Sugar Plum Fairy dress.”

 

Kagura, seated nearby with her mother, watched with increasing worry. She didn't feel threatened by Kagome Higurashi per se. She was, after all, prettier, had a better body, was more accomplished and successful, came from a good family, and was certainly more refined. But the skinny bitch had one path to Sesshoumaru that she didn't—the niece. Kagura decided to take matters into her own hands; waiting could prove a fatal misstep. With a syrupy-sweet smile on her face, she leaned down next to Rin. “Hello, Rin. My name is Kagura. I'm a special friend of your uncle. How would you like to go shopping with me someday? Or tea? I am sure we could be best friends.”

 

“Uhmm…” Rin didn't know how to answer. She had the distinct impression that Kagura didn't like children and she had other reasons for asking.

 

“Rose, darling,” Mrs. Hideoshi said too loudly to be anything other than a remark the entire room was meant to hear, “I think your son has finally come around. He and Kagura had dinner this week at Portobella.”

 

“Oh really?” Mrs. Taisho was surprised. She wanted nothing more than to see Sesshoumaru settled and happy, but she if had to pick one of the two young women in the room to have captured his interest, it wasn't Kagura.

 

“Yes,” Kagura said coyly. “And we have plans for next week as well. Under the excuse of work, of course, but I think we all know his true intent.”

 

“Two dates with Sesshoumaru Taisho?” one of the guests giggled. “With his reputation, that's nearly as good as a marriage proposal.”

 

“Kagura and I thought,” Mrs. Hideoshi said, “that perhaps it is best that she and the child begin to spend some time together. If you know what I mean.”

 

Rin didn't understand the implication, but she knew she didn't like it. She looked at Kagome, who doing her best to pretend she hadn't heard, but Rin knew she had. Her aunt's skin was ashen, and she was swimming in a sea of anger and confusion.

 

XxXxX

 

Sesshoumaru, buried beneath a pile of spreadsheets, contracts, and proposals, spent the morning reviewing the last decisions regarding the newest hotel before shifting the responsibilities off to the appropriate parties. He normally got a sense of closure from the task, a feeling of a job finished, but he was too preoccupied to gain much satisfaction. Tedious paperwork, however important, couldn't compete with thinking about Kagome. And sex with Kagome. And future sex with Kagome.

 

The night before was precisely what he had been craving, not just since summer, when he first noticed how attractive she truly was, not since autumn, when he realized how deeply he cared about her. For fifteen years he had dated. Rarely had any woman been more than a passing attraction; never had any relationship been serious. He was no stranger to the physical pleasures of sex, but he had never felt an intimacy with another person like he did when Kagome was in his arms…or afterward when she rested against his chest and told him she was glad he was the one she was with. He hadn't even understood how badly he wanted it—the closeness, the connection—and now that he had had a taste, he was unwilling to lose her. She'll need immediate and frequent reinforcement was Sango's advice. He was looking forward to dinner and the ballet with Rin, but in his opinion that night, alone with Kagome, Rin safely fast asleep in her bed, couldn't come fast enough.

 

He picked up the list of recent commercial real estate closings, but within minutes found himself staring out the window thinking about soft black hair and long legs. “Dammit,” he muttered. This level of distraction was both uncharacteristic and frustrating. Deciding to call it a day, he left to go to the dojo. Distractions were dangerous there, and he hoped that perhaps physical exertion would clear his mind and finally allow him to focus. He hoped he wouldn't end up battered and bruised.

 

Hours later Sesshoumaru, after a long, demanding afternoon of sparring with his Sensei, had bathed and changed. He barely managed to knock on the guest house door, when Rin opened it and flew into his arms. She was wearing the dress from Thanksgiving and her hair was a swarm of curls.

 

She gave him a peck on the cheek. “See my hair? If you pull one of the curls, it bounces back.” Rin stretched a black spiral out, then let it spring back into shape, adding a `boing' sound effect.

 

He laughed softly. “Very stylish.”

 

“Rin Rin,” Kagome said, entering the room, “your grandmother wanted to take a picture of you in full night-on-the-town regalia. Why don't you run over there for a few minutes, then we'll leave.” She helped Rin on with her winter coat and mittens and watched through the leaded glass panels in the door as she scampered down the path to the big house. Once satisfied that she had made it safely, Kagome turned to face Sesshoumaru.

 

She was dressed in a burgundy cocktail dress with a strapless beaded top that brought out the rich color of her hair. He couldn't wait to get it off her. “Do we have time?” he asked rakishly, closing the distance between them.

 

“Woah.” Kagome took a step back. “Keep it in your pants, Romeo. We need to talk.”

 

He knew then that he had been mistaken. She had sent Rin to his mother so they could be alone, but not for a quickie. The realization, after spending the majority of the day fantasizing about her, was a bucket of cold water dumped on his head. She was already regretting what had happened between them and the rejection stung, making him instantly defensive. “So talk.”

 

His curt reply concerned Kagome; the preemptive conversation she thought was such a good idea was being derailed. “Sesshoumaru, I really didn't want to make a big deal about this.” She sighed sadly. “But after thinkng on it all day, I just want to get it out into the open and avoid any awkwardness when we should be out with Rin having fun.”

 

“I don't know what there is to discuss,” he said dryly. “You regret what we did last night and no longer wish to—”

 

“Wait,” she interrupted, narrowing her eyes. “Don't make assumptions about how I feel. I enjoyed the hell out of last night, and I'm not at all saying I wouldn't welcome further…encounters. But I went to your mother's brunch this morning and Kagura was there.”

 

He was glad it seemed that perhaps she wasn't shutting the door on him, but had no idea what Kagura had to do with anything. “Kagome—”

 

“I know having sex once doesn't give me any claim to you, and I certainly am not looking for a serious relationship after not having dated for almost two years. In fact…it would almost be better if you were seeing other people too,” she said thoughtfully. “Regardless. I'm not the clingy, possessive type and you should know from reading my column that I don't approve of mind games and I'm big on communication. I swear I'm not expecting or even asking for monogamy, just honesty. That said…I am not interested in being the third corner of a romantic triangle that involves Kagura.”

 

“What?”

 

“I know you two are dating. She and her mother very generously gave all the details of your dinner the other night.” At the restaurant you were going to take me to, she added in her head. “Everything from the bottle of wine you shared, to how close you sat together, to how cute you were when you talked about Rin. And how excited she is for your upcoming plans.”

 

“What? Kagome, there's a misund—”

 

She ignored his increasing confusion and plowed on. “It's not that I'm jealous of her. Okay, I am,” she admitted. “Maybe not jealous as much as what the fuck. I mean, Sesshoumaru, you could have anyone. I know she's gorgeous and all, but hot damn, I don't know if I've ever met anyone who is that fake, mean, and generally unhappy.” She held up her hand to silence his protest. “Sorry to be so blunt. Anyway…I don't want to stop seeing you, and I know no matter what we'll stay friends, at the very least because of Rin. As I said, I'm not demanding exclusive rights to you because we screwed one time. Nor am I attempting to dictate whom you can and cannot see. But I am asking for honesty, and I'm honestly telling you that Kagura scares the shit out of me. She's not the kind who is interested in sharing her toys. In fact, I'm reasonably certain she's obsessed with you.”

 

Sesshoumaru knew better at this point than to do more than patiently wait for her diatribe to play out and the opportunity to correct her mistaken impression.

 

“I like you…a lot. And I am also very careful of my emotions right now and that level of drama in my life wouldn't be healthy. I trust you. I do. And it's not like I'm some kind of wimp,” she added quickly. “But I'm not looking for trouble either.” Kagome sighed with the relief of letting out her pent-up misgivings, then remembered something else. “Oh…another thing. She thinks Rin is a convenient little way to get closer to you. I'll be damned if I'm going to give that entitled, vindictive woman unfettered access to my niece. Just saying.”

 

“Finished?” he asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

 

Kagome nodded.

 

“Are you ready to hear me out?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And are you willing to believe what I tell you?” He took a step closer.

 

“Of course…if it's believable.” She took a step back.

 

“Kagura is a family friend and my father's corporate counsel. I've mentioned this before.”

 

“Yeah. A couple months ago. Circumstances change, as last night should illustrate quite clearly.”

 

“We were merely discussing work matters outside the office. Because of scheduling difficulties, dinner was the only available option.”

 

“Oh right,” she challenged, “at Portobella, `cause with the dim lights and romantic music, it's just like the cigar room at the country club or the golf course.”

 

He shook his head and took another predatory step forward. “It was strictly business.”

 

“Well the way they were talking today, it sounds like planning your engagement party is just around the corner.” She took a step back, but felt the wall against her back.

 

“Kagome, I promise you, there is nothing between me and Kagura. There never was. You say you trust me…I don't know what more I can do to convince you.” He lifted her hair from her neck and gently caressed the smooth, warm skin. “And by the way I'm not interested in dating anyone. Other than you.”

 

As his mouth covered hers and her arm encircled his shoulders, Kagome idly decided that she liked his method of persuasion. He and Kagura were only friends. The dozens of requests for clarification she meant to direct at him were cast away, but a part of her mind knew they couldn't spend the next half an hour in seclusion. They had a little girl to collect. “We'd better go,” she said breathlessly, pulling back.

 

He reluctantly released her. “Only if we can resume later.”

 

“Promise.” She winked at him and grabbed her coat. “Can I ask you something? Did I fall asleep on you last night?” Kagome locked the front door, and they walked toward the big house.

 

“For a few minutes. I had to be up early this morning, so I left when it became apparent you were out.”

 

Kagome felt her face get hot despite the cold air; something had been at the back of her mind, gnawing like a rodent. “I didn't drool on you, did I?”

 

He tried, without success, not to laugh. “Not telling.”

 

XxXxX

 

Rin, perched on a mound of winter coats, craned her neck to see around the person seated in front of her. The view was still primarily blocked. “Can I stand up in my seat?”

 

“Rin, come here.” Sesshoumaru pulled her into his lap. “Is that better?”

 

Rin was now up considerably higher and the view was amazing. She could see the whole stage and even the heads of some of the musicians in the orchestra pit. She nodded and hugged him tightly. “Can I stay here the whole time?” she asked softly.

 

Sesshoumaru looked into Rin's pretty gold eyes. He reminded himself not to be a pushover. “As long as you sit still you can stay here.”

 

Kagome chuckled. Rin's inability to sit still when excited was legendary. “To be fair, you should give her fifteen minutes into the first act before you evict her.” Kagome traded places with the coats so she was sitting next to them. “Thanks for coming with us. I'm glad you were available.”

 

“I'm thankful you had an extra ticket.”

 

“Yeah…Sango hated to bow out, but she said if she's sitting she can't stay awake for more than thirty minutes at a time. Especially in the evening.” She smiled sadly. “It's kind of melancholy for me. Sango, Kikyou, and I went together to The Nutcracker every year. The first time was seven years ago, when we three girls dragged Miroku and Inuyasha out for dinner and some culture.” She laughed at the memory and, aware of Rin's presence, left out the part where she and Inuyasha got stoned in the car beforehand. “Inuyasha started getting heavy eyes before Herr Drosselmeyer even made an appearance. You have to admit…the first act is a little slow. Anyway, Kikyou kept poking him so he'd stay awake…which was fine until he realized that Sango let Miroku totally fall asleep and he was actually snoring a little. So Inuyasha said, more loudly than he intended, `how come he gets to sleep and I don't?' and a bunch of people around us shushed him.” She looked at Rin, who was mesmerized; this story was one she'd never heard. “My sister had this icy look that could strike fear into anyone, and she let Inuyasha have it. He managed to stay awake after that out of sheer terror, but was no more interested in the dancers than he had been at the beginning. So he started ripping up his program and throwing the little wads of paper at Miroku. It was decided unanimously at the intermission that the boys would spend the remainder of the performance at a nearby bar and from that point on the ballet was Girls' Night Out. And Inuyasha and Miroku made it their night to stay in and play poker and watch Fight Club.”

 

“What's Fight Club?” Rin asked.

 

“At the risk of talking about Fight Club…it's a movie about men. Being men. Or something.” Kagome couldn't imagine discussing Fight Club, one of Inuyasha's favorites, with Sesshoumaru, someone she was quite positive had never seen it, much less with a child. “Let's just say it's very different than the ballet.”

 

The house lights dimmed, and Rin began to squirm. Sesshoumaru adjusted his hold on his niece and reached for Kagome's hand. A moment later the conductor raised her baton and the strings began to play the first familiar notes.

 

XxXxX

 

Kagome smoothed the fading curls from Rin's brow as the child struggled against droopy eyes. Staying was a habit that neither of them had been particularly eager to let go. Kagome knew Rin, once she had been properly kissed and tucked in, was capable of falling asleep on her own, and when she very busy, their bedtime ritual was necessarily brief. Something about staying there, watching the impishness of the child's features change into a picture of peace and innocence as she sang lullabies and told stories, often kept her from leaving.

 

That night Kagome was in no hurry to leave her niece.

 

When they had returned from the ballet, Sesshoumaru kissed Rin goodnight and said he needed to respond to a few important emails he had received during their evening out and went into the mansion. Kagome, sitting on the edge of Rin's bed and humming softly, grew increasingly agitated. She and Sesshoumaru had found themselves alone together in the guest house after Rin had gone to bed many times, but the reason he was there in the first place was always the same—because of their niece. Now there was no convenient excuse for him to be there and them to be alone together. If he did come to the guest house, it would be for no other reason than to see Kagome, but she didn't know whether he was coming back or not, and the lack of certainty drove her crazy.

 

Sure…he had only said goodnight to Rin, and she had assumed, perhaps logically, since he didn't say the same to her, he would be back. She had, after all, left the front door unlocked based on that chance. But she hated the idea of waiting for him, trying to decide if she should just lock up and go to bed. He said earlier, when they were kissing, he wanted to resume the interaction. Her insecurities had her flailing, unsure if he meant that night or in general. Despite his obvious interest, she hesitated to admit the former was distinctly possible. How long should she wait? At what point would puttering around on the possibility he would show up become pathetic? Oh my fucking god, she thought, no wonder I stayed out of the dating scene for so long; this is ridiculous.

 

Worse than waiting, possibly in vain, was the notion of calling him to see if he planned to return. She couldn't imagine a misunderstanding that would carry more mortified embarrassment. Oh…okay…see you around. It would be like freshman year of college all over again. His work was important, and she was unwilling to test her place on the hierarchy.

 

Rin's breathing deepened, and Kagome kissed her forehead and rose. She quietly closed the bedroom door, taking care to leave it open a crack, and went to face the, in her mind, empty living room.

 

She need not have fretted; Sesshoumaru was sitting on the couch, petting the dog at his feet. He had opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses and lit several candles. She smiled. Not merely because he had stealth mode mastered, not merely because her doubts of his intent vanished, but also the fact that he had let himself in and looked at home carried no air of presumption; his presence, so large and solid and assured, seemed perfectly natural.

 

Sesshoumaru looked up and saw her, still radiant in her red dress, now with bare legs and feet. He handed her a glass of wine and motioned silently to the couch that they had so often shared. Kagome sat next to him, folding her legs under, and sipped the wine.

 

“Mmm…this doesn't taste like something I can afford to regularly keep in stock.”

 

“I brought it.”

 

“Thank you,” she said, setting her glass down on the coffee table. “You're going to spoil me.” She picked up the bottle and examined the label.

 

“You're welcome.” She certainly recognized and appreciated the finer things in life, and he looked forward to providing them. Picking up her glass again, she avoided looking at him. They were at a sexually charged Square One. “Are you going to enroll Rin in ballet classes?” Safe, neutral territory was always their niece.

 

Kagome laughed. Rin had pirouetted and jetéd from the Art Center to the parking garage and talked nonstop about the dancers the whole ride home. “Kikyou was of the opinion that ballet was too rigid for young bodies. I'll give this little obsession a few weeks to see if it will burn out. Kids are pretty fickle about their interests…though she's still into the horse thing, so maybe her attention span is maturing.” Kagome saw Sesshoumaru's use of Rin as conversation and raised him an equally easy topic of conversation. “How was work today?”

 

He recalled his inability to concentrate and the reasons for it and became less happy with small talk. “Unsatisfying,” was the one-word answer. He reached over to the hand in her lap and stroked the sensitive skin at her inner wrist. “Have you been busy lately?”

 

Kagome's pulse sped up—his deft fingers touching such a small area of flesh caused a disproportionate reaction. She couldn't have pulled her hand away for any amount of money, should she have even wanted to. “Busy, but not crazy. I've got a few appointments this coming-up week, and I need to carve out a few hours where I can go to the storage shed and dig out my Christmas decorations. I always say it shouldn't take more than twenty minutes…it never works out that way. One of these days I'll be able to go in there and get what I want instead of looking through boxes and having a long, teary attack of sentimentality.”

 

“Rin mentioned something about putting up a Christmas tree next weekend and told me about the tree you had last year. I thought you said Inuyasha was an atheist.”

 

“Oh, he was,” she said. “And he took great pleasure in celebrating a Very Merry Giftmas. Kikyou was down on the whole commercialism and materialism of the holidays, but it only took a few days of him calling her a Grinch the first year they dated that she relented and got into it along with us. We had a number of joyful, irreligious HanuSolstiChristmaKwanzaKahs together.” Why should he be the only one to play? she asked herself and began to trace little circles on the palm of his hand. Her insecurities had faded away into a dim, abandoned memory, but she wasn't ready to move beyond couch flirtation. The talking and touching were far too enjoyable. “Enough about me. Why does it seem like whenever I ask you questions, I end up in babble mode. Tell me something… a memory from your childhood. It can be good or bad.”

 

He frowned. His childhood was something he didn't voluntarily think about; talking about it was even more rare. “I don't have anything interesting to share.” He abandoned her hand and began to caress her collar bone in long, slow motions.

 

Kagome gently removed his hand and placed it back on hers. “Oh no you don't,” she chided. “Spill it.”

 

He sighed in resignation; there was a look of determination in Kagome's eye that he by now knew not to try to dismiss. The first memory that presented was one of a Christmas many years before, his last before being sent to boarding school. Sesshoumaru emptied his wine and refilled both their glasses. “The Christmas I turned nine—”

 

“Oh goody,” she interrupted, scooting in close to enjoy the story.

 

He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. If he had to speak of this, he could at least soak up the nearness of her soft, inviting body. “I only wanted one thing. A yellow “The Force” lightsaber.”

 

“Really?” Kagome leaned back and stared at him. “It's so odd to think of you as a kid at all, much less a kid who did normal kid stuff and wanted normal kid toys. Didn't they make a Pretend Property Acquisition Kit or Real-Estate-Tycoon-In-a-Box that year?”

 

“Do you want me to stop?”

 

She shook her head quickly.

 

“Then...quiet.”

 

Kagome saw a flash of vulnerability cross his features and, on impulse, leaned forward to kiss him, the contact briefly shocking them both. They had been carefully upping the ante, one small, delicious step at a time, but that kiss was a breach of the informal, unwritten rules. And, as they stared into each other's eyes, that kiss threatened to hijack the conversation. “I'm sorry. Don't stop.” She sat back. “I'll be quiet.”

 

Sesshoumaru sighed. This was something that he wanted to share with her, to trust her…but part of him just wanted to throw her over his shoulder, carry her to bed, and use her to force the past back into its proper, hidden place. The dark, serious eyes looking at him with such intensity convinced him to continue. “In 1983 Kenner came out with the Return of the Jedi model of the lightsaber, replacing the yellow one with green to reflect the color of Luke's new weapon in the last movie. I told my father exactly which one I wanted—the discontinued yellow model, without the Return of the Jedi sticker. On Christmas morning that year, opening presents, I saw the size and shape of a certain box and knew exactly what was in it. It was a lightsaber, but instead of the one I asked for, he gave me the new green one. I was mildly disappointed, but immediately assumed the one I wanted wasn't available in stores anymore, and I focused on being happy to get one at all. That happiness lasted the minute and a half that it took Inuyasha to open his long, narrow box.”

 

“Oh no.”

 

He nodded. “Inuyasha hadn't even asked for one. He wanted a plush Ewok. I tried to get him to trade, but my father stepped in.” Sesshoumaru could still remember protesting the unfairness. His father thought he was giving him the better toy since it was a brand new version, and when he saw his older son's anger, he told him to stop acting like an ungrateful brat.

 

“So what happened?”

 

“I spent the majority of the next half a year with a huge chip on my shoulder, trying to get my sword from Inuyasha. It was the only thing I had ever asked for, and, not only did I not get it, I had to watch my stupid little brother trying to use it.”

 

Kagome thought she heard in the tone of his voice a hint that he was poking fun at his childhood brooding. “Did you ever get it from him?”

 

“No. That spring my father had started to talk about sending me to boarding school. I had other things on my mind.” His voice now had a sad, serious edge.

 

The handful of times he spoke of growing up, Inuyasha used words like guilt, blame, and silence. Kagome knew he loved his family, but it had always been apparent he hadn't made it through his early years unscathed. Sesshoumaru, it seemed, was no different. “How long did it take for you to forgive your father?” She laced her fingers through his, hoping that now that he was beginning to confide in her, he wouldn't stop.

 

He was quiet a moment. “It was hard to stay angry when I missed him so much.”

 

“So you've never forgiven him,” she said gently.

 

Forgiveness…for working too much, for not fixing his mother, for sending him away, for refusing to allow him to follow his dream. “He thought he was doing the right thing.”

 

She reached up and touched the side of his face. The flickering candlelight angled and hollowed out his serene, impassive face. His beauty and the grief in the molten gold of his eyes pulled at her soul cruelly, magnetically. “It's hard to be hurt by the people we love.”

 

An old wound, long scabbed over, had been scratched open. Less messy than he feared it would be, but he was already eager to put the memory behind. “Kagome, I don't want your pity.”

 

“Sympathy and empathy aren't exactly pity. And this is no more about pity than it was when you were listening to me talk about my past.”

 

“A privileged little boy receiving the wrong toy isn't comparable to getting beaten to near death and debilitating depression.”

 

She shook her head and moved nearer, sliding her hand to the back of his neck. “That's not the point. This is what friends do.” She stopped when their faces were inches apart. “I was afraid you weren't going to come back tonight.”

 

“I was afraid the door would be locked.”

 

She quirked a brow. “I call bullshit. You knew damn well I would be waiting for you. And besides, I can't see you having enough patience to let a locked door be a deterrent.”

 

He laughed and slipped his arm around her back, pulling her against him. “Kagome, you have no idea how patient I've been.”

 

Kagome had drawn him out of his stoic shell, and instead of creating a wedge between them, they were left closer and more connected. The air of regret and sadness had evaporated, replaced by her innate playfulness. “Well then…time to reward your patience.” She kissed the corner of his mouth, a swift, flirty kiss that left him no time to respond. With a rustle of silk taffeta, she was sitting in his lap, licking and nibbling her way up his neck.

 

The speed at which she had taken control of him and the reaction she elicited was dizzying. Sesshoumaru groaned, a throaty sound like a wild animal. The erection he had been fighting all day finally had no need to be restrained, and in an instant he felt himself grow hard against weight of her leg. There was a discernable positive side to the torturous denial, he decided, as her tongue followed the edge of his ear and her fingers made short work of the buttons on his shirt, and it was so worth the prolonged frustration. There was no dinner reservation, no excited little girl, no reason to stop.

 

He tried to stay still and enjoy her skillful explorations, but the wait and anticipation had made him greedy. He unzipped and peeled the bodice of her dress down, playing along the furrow of her spine, tracing downward to the small of her back and sexy, subtle swell of her backside. In the dark the night before, he had been near blind, happy to simply be able to touch and taste her. Now he could finally see the rich curves and dark peaks of her breasts. The black hair that tumbled onto her shoulders. The sensual depression at the base of her throat. The graceful length of her neck. He could finally see the look of ecstasy on her face—the fluttering eyes and flush of lust coloring her cheeks—as she moaned his name.

 

Like she could read his mind, Kagome whispered, “I want to see too.” She pushed his shirt over his shoulders and suddenly their efforts to undress increased in importance. They fumbled with a belt buckle and a stuck dress zipper, punctuated by giggles and mild curses. Soon they were surrounded by a nest of discarded clothes, a condom retrieved from a pocket and laid conspicuously on the coffee table. The urgency that had consumed them the night before was replaced by the need to be slow, to discover the other. Kagome learned that Sesshoumaru was adept at multi-tasking. He kissed her neck as his hands kneaded her breast, sweetly tormenting a nipple, and sought the hot, dripping folds between her legs. And her inability to do the same was confirmed—his long fingers teasing inside and his thumb rhythmically circling her clit left her a ragdoll making high-pitched, incoherent sounds, unable to do anything but focus on her own wickedly shattering pleasure. When she was again lucid, she kissed him fiercely and smiled. “Now you.”

 

Sesshoumaru was amazed. Never before had he been with anyone as responsive, anyone so sure of what she wanted and so unafraid to get it. She was straddling him, slowly lowering and rising, riding the just head of his cock, and he thought he would lose his mind. He wanted to slam into her, over and over, but she pinned his arms against the back of the sofa and every time he tried to press up and into her, she bit his lower lip and scolded.

 

“Be still. Just let me.” She kissed him and smiled again. “I know what I'm doing, you know. You're in good hands.”

 

He gave up control; he trusted her. Gradually she lowered until every inch of him was surrounded by tight heat and wetness. Kagome stilled, then rotated her hips, rubbing her clit against him. “You feel incredible.” She let go of his arms and leaned back, resting her hands on his knees, arching her back. She raised up and lowered, establishing a rhythm, slow and measured at first, then more furious.

 

Sesshoumaru watched as she quickened the pace, the slim curves of her breasts bouncing, the circling of her hips driving him to the brink. He'd never seen anything so sexy. She was worth every bit of waiting. She gasped and leaned forward, muffling her screams by biting his shoulder. The clenching pulse of her orgasm around his cock pushed him past the edge. He grabbed her around her waist and thrust up, shuddering until spent.

 

Kagome rested her forehead against his and tangled her sweaty limbs around him. “I'll say it again. You're going to spoil me.”

 

He held her close and breathed in her scent. “You deserve to be spoiled.”

 

She shifted so he could take care of the used condom. “I hope you won't hate me for kicking you out.”

 

The fallout was inevitable. “I won't pretend to like it, but I understand. Rin can't know about this yet.”

 

She nodded. “I'd love nothing more than to bring you to bed and sleep and fuck some more and sleep some more, but you can't be here in the morning. She's five. She cares about you. Very much. I hate pretending and I don't want to stop seeing you, but we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or next week or next month. It's not fair to her.”

 

He dressed and gathered her close to kiss her goodnight, but he couldn't help but wonder if she was more concerned about protecting Rin or, in light of her worries about him and Kagura, keeping herself distant and detached.

 

%%%

 

Thank you for reading. I do not own Inuyasha, Fight Club, or Star Wars weapons, characters, or species. Or anything I've overlooked.