InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dark Heaven ❯ Dark Dreams ( Chapter 10 )

Dark Heaven

 

Chapter 10

 

Dark Dreams

 

“NO!” Kagome screamed and pushed her way through the blazing door. The building creaked, and Kagome knew the flames would eventually bring the structure down. Where was she, she had to be in here…

 

“Help me!” She wailed. Kagome coughed on the smoke and pushed her way through the flaming building. She looked up to see a form huddled under a thick blanket in a corner. Kagome ran over to her and put a hand on the figure's shoulder. The blanket fell away as the figure turned to face Kagome with sad eyes.

 

“My beautiful girl…” She whispered, putting a hand on Kagome's face. Kagome felt tears run down her cheeks as she stared at the woman she had never met. “I'm so sorry…” she was cut off at the flames ate up the floor beneath her. Kagome watched in horror as the mother she had never known plummeted down into the fire.

 

“Poor little angel…all alone…” Kagome spun around as the red-hot flames around her suddenly glowed bright pink, and a man stepped from the shadows. Gleaming silver hair whipped across his face, obscuring all but his glowing yellow eyes. Kagome stepped back as the man held up a claw and reached for her, a blinding pink light spewing from his palm as his golden eyes laughed at her.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

Kagome let out a scream of terror as she sat upright in her bed. She looked around at her crummy apartment and reached up to wipe a sheen of cold sweat off her face. She looked at her old-fashioned alarm clock by her bed. She didn't leave for work until seven. It was six. She groaned and lay back in bed, reaching up to massage her face.

 

“Get out of my head…” She muttered, angry at some non-existent demon that was mocking her from the depths of her mind. It had been happening her entire life, but it hadn't gotten tolerable with age. If anything, the dreams had become for frequent. The feeling that something she should see lay just beyond her sight, a voice she should hear just beyond her range. Like someone had carved a part of her out of her body, and she kept feeling it get ripped out.

 

Kagome pulled herself out of bed and walked out onto her balcony. The sun had already risen into the sky, casting long shadows over the street. Kagome looked over her shoulder as the white wings on her back, and sighed. She had been damned with the things her entire life, and she didn't have a clue why she had them. As far as she knew she wasn't a youkai or hanyou. But no human had wings. It made no sense.

 

“What am I?” Kagome whispered, a single tear running down her cheek. Unfortunately, the only person who heard was the rising sun, and it wasn't talking.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

“Ms. Shikigami will see you now,” The receptionist said cheerfully. Kagome thanked her and stood up to enter the psychiatrist's office. She had heard that this was supposed to be the best in Haven, and the best was what she needed. She didn't often call in sick, but ever since she had started this whole `Angel' thing two weeks ago, she was getting more and more stressed.

 

“Ah, Kagome, pleasure to meet you,” Ms. Shikigami said, smiling and standing up to shake Kagome's hand. “Please, have a seat.” Ms. Shikigami led Kagome to a pair of chairs, set up to more or less face each other with a small table set to the side. Kagome sat down as Ms. Shikigami sat down opposite her and flipped open a small notepad.

 

“So, what brings you to me? And feel free to say whatever you wish, all sessions in here are purely confidential,” Shikigami assured her. Kagome nodded. She knew that Shikigami was telling the truth, but still, she wasn't quite prepared to spill the beans about her late-night activities.

 

“Well…recently I'm feeling depressed, and…I'm feeling very stressed. I heard about you and thought you may be able to help.

 

“Sure. Tell me a bit about yourself to start,” Shikigami asked.

 

“Well, I have an okay job, a complicated past with my parents, never met my father. I have my own apartment, I eat,” Kagome rambled.

 

“Oh please, don't be so formal, call me Tsubaki,” Shikigami smiled. “Kagome, what was your relationship with your mother?”

 

“I never knew her either. I took care of myself growing up,” Kagome admitted. Tsubaki scribbled something down on her notepad and nodded.

 

“I see…have you ever had any experiences with fire?” Kagome coughed lightly as her thoughts turned to Rin in her hospital bed.

 

“No more than the average person, I'm sure. I've never been in a fire myself, or had anyone I know be in a fire.” A lie, of course. But mentioning Rin would lead to the subject of Angel, a topic Kagome was not going to bring up.

 

“Hm…and you've been depressed lately, you said,” Tsubaki mused. “Why do you think that is?”

 

“I don't really know, I guess that's why I'm here,” Kagome laughed slightly. Tsubaki chuckled a bit and nodded.

 

“That's true. Alright then, tell me a bit about your life Kagome.”

 

“Um…well, I'm assistant to the layout designer at the Haven Cryer…”

 

“How did you get that job? Do you enjoy it?” Tsubaki cut in.

 

“Well, I worked my way up from a newsstand. It's a good job, the pay is okay, and Sango is nice. She slips extra cash into my checks and she thinks I don't notice,” Kagome said, blushing a bit.

 

“What job would you like to be in?” Tsubaki asked. Kagome's eyes widened as she leaned back. That question had caught her off guard.

 

“I…don't really know, I think. I've never really though about it…I just wanted a job where I could afford to support myself.”

 

“Ah, you mean living conditions, no doubt. Tell me about those,” Tsubaki urged.

 

“Well, I live in an apartment. It's okay…I afford rent easy enough, that's no problem. I have clothing, obviously, and food. It's mostly just bread and various toppings, but I eat. And…well, I have a bed, and, um…a clock, a couch, although I found it on the curb. I have TV, but no cable, I don't make enough money, but it's not a priority,” Kagome rambled. Tsubaki sighed.

 

“One last question, Kagome. What about your love life?” Kagome thought about Inuyasha. Sure, he was good looking, and she liked the guy, but so far they had only had coffee, and that wasn't even a real date.

 

“Until a couple days ago, there was none. I didn't really have many male friends, never had a boyfriend. I had my first date last night, but he got a phone call and left.” Kagome left out how she had gotten a kidnapping and left before he did to stop it. Tsubaki nodded.

 

“Well Kagome, it's a simple diagnosis. Your depression is being caused by a lack of fulfillment, simply put. You have simple to no life goals, and while you've gotten to a point in life where you can sustain yourself, you feel only contentment, not happiness.” Kagome was stunned.

 

“I'm going through my midlife crisis when I'm seventeen?” Kagome asked dryly. Tsubaki laughed.

 

“No, not exactly. You're just not…hm, how can I put this? You don't have enough in your life, and because you've set so few goals for what you do have, you're reached a point of stagnant growth, and that's why these feelings have occurred.”

 

“So what should I do?” Kagome asked.

 

“Start living a little. Take some time off work. Go on a few dates. Explore some new interests. Start doing more with your time. And maybe set some higher goals than a job and an apartment. Set some bigger things to reach for.” Tsubaki said. Kagome nodded.

 

“There is one more thing,” Kagome started, not sure if she should do this. “It's been going on for a while, but lately they've gotten worse.”

 

“What has?” Tsubaki asked, leaning forward. Kagome took a breath.

 

“My entire life, I've been having…dreams,” She explained. Tsubaki nodded.

 

“Tell me about these dreams,” Tsubaki said. Kagome closed her eyes.

 

“I'm in a building, and it's on fire. I don't know where I am, but there's screaming. It's my mother. I don't know how I know, I never met her, but I know it's her. I find her, but she's crying, she says she's afraid for me. She falls through the floor. I turn, and there's a youkai behind me. His claws glow pink, and he reaches for me. Then I wake up.” Kagome collapsed back, putting a hand over her eyes. Her mother's tearful eyes as she stared at her kept bored into her own eyes.

 

“Kagome, with your permission, of course, I'd like to schedule a hypnosis session,” Tsubaki said, making more noted on her pad. Kagome felt a chill run down her spine.

 

“Hy-hypnosis?” She squeaked.

 

“Yes. You mentioned no bad experiences with fire, you never met your mother, and I have no idea what a youkai would have to do with either subject. It's likely that this dream is a result of some subconscious condition regarding the above. It may be guilt over never knowing your mother, a fear of fires, or a fear of youkai, just to name a few. And seeing as how you don't have the financial funds for the typical amount of sessions that I would recommend for other cases like this, I think hypnosis, while a bit of a desperate measure, and unpredictable at that, will be the best solution. If it's alright with you, of course. If you do not give your consent, then you can even forget I brought it up.” Kagome thought for a moment.

 

“How does it work, exactly?” She asked carefully. Tsubaki shrugged.

 

“Well I'm not going to have you do my taxes or crawl on all fours like some sort of game show,” She scoffed. “I send you into a trance, and from there, ask you questions about your past. I'll be asking questions about your knowledge of youkai, your mother, and any experiences you've had with fire. The color pink might also play a role of some sort. And under your agreement to this, we'll be completely alone, a recording will be made of the session, and you'll have the right to review the tape before you leave. As will all my patients, the results of my investigation will be totally confidential.” Kagome gulped.

 

“Well…when do you have an opening?” She asked. Tsubaki stood up and sat back down behind her desk, pulling an appointment book from her desk drawer and flipping through it.

 

“A week from Thursday is the closest I have. That good for you?” Kagome nodded. “Okay, I'll pencil you in. I'll have the confidentiality contracts for the session drawn up and have them ready when you arrive,” Tsubaki said. Kagome stood up and shook Tsubaki's hand.

 

“Thank you,” She whispered, stepping back and leaving. Tsubaki smiled at her and flipped back through her appointment book as Kagome left. Kagome closed the door to Tsubaki's office and leaned against the wall opposite it, narrowing her eyes and hanging her head, her bangs brushing her eyelashes.

 

“What do I want?” She murmured, staring at the floor. She stood there for several seconds as she tried to answer the question Tsubaki had all but said was the cause of her anxiety and depression. Unfortunately, her mind was as empty as the hallway before her, and just as imposing in its silence. With a sigh, Kagome lifted her head and walked down the hall to leave the building.