InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dear brother ❯ Transformations from regret and suffering (Part I) ( Chapter 12 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Dear Brother

A/N: Oh the suspense! It must be killing you all. I have nothing to say really so let’s get this chapter rolling.

This could be a short or long chapter, depending on how fast this is going to go. I think it should be quite short. But we’ll see.

Chapter 12: Transformations from regret and suffering (Part I)

Kouga arrived just a few hours before sunset. The castle grounds were quiet. Making their way through the castle’s village, Kirara and Kouga hastily found their way to the front entrance. Surprisingly there were no guards posted where they should be. “That’s odd… There are no guards. Where could they be?” Kouga wondered, looking down at Kirara, who was just as puzzled.

Opening the heavy wooden doors they made for the stairs, which were not far down the hall and would lead them to the master chambers where they would find InuYasha. However, as soon as they entered the Great Hall’s entrance they found the place was in chaos. There were guards running around shouting orders, and servants rushing every which way.

Something told them that something had gone terribly wrong.

“Kirara, let’s hurry. I have a bad feeling about this.”

They quickly went for the stairs; not bothering to ask what was going on. Something already told them that Sesshomaru was dead, and InuYasha was losing his control. Kouga knew when that happened, everyone was a target. That was including himself.




“Restrain him!” several of the guards were shouting as they entered the room to find it in chaos. The hanyou fought savagely against Daisuke and Kouhei, their panthers’ forms gleaming in a light sweat as they knocked InuYasha to the bed.

As soon as they did, InuYasha, like so many times before in this short battle, thrashed and yanked his broken arms free in an insane fight. He shoved the pair of panthers off and away from him with a snarl just before rolling to the side as some of the other new guards came at him.

“Don’t kill him!” the nurse cried as she had finally mixed together the potent sedative. Now she had to figure a way to give it to him without harming herself or the others in the process.

Ignoring her, the guards hurled themselves against InuYasha pinning him to the floor finally. One by one they sat on him, pinning his whole body in a hog pile, or rather a dog pile. Not being able to match all nine guards who had pinned him to the floor, InuYasha snarled, spitting like an angry cornered wolf.

Although they had finally managed to pin him, it still didn’t allow the nurse to administer the sedative. She needed to get it in his mouth. She couldn’t just place it under his nose to knock him out as it would be too potent for the others if they breathed it.

Just then there was another presence in the room. The nurse looked up to find a two-tailed neko beside Kouga who both wore a worried face.

“What’s going on?” Kouga said as soon as he entered the room, Kirara following at his side. He saw every guard piled on InuYasha.

“He’s lost it, that’s what happened,” the nurse said quickly, walking over to the enraged demon still thrashing beneath the guards who struggled to stay on him.

Kouga looked down at InuYasha. His face was one of a demon’s with crimson eyes, and crystal blue irises that were flamed with anger. InuYasha’s cheeks were no longer plain; instead lavender jagged stripes adorned each cheek. Then there were his lethal fangs that could tear apart just about anything that came near them. What had gone on?Going over to InuYasha he slapped his cheek as if to put some sense into him, instead of snapping him out of it, it only enraged InuYasha more. “InuYasha!” Kouga called, “Snap the fuck out of this!”

“It’s no use. He’s not going to snap out of it. But I need to get that mouth open long enough to give this sedative that should calm him enough to control him,” the nurse replied.

“Is he…” Kouga looked over to Sesshomaru’s pale body, confirming that they were unable to revive him.

“Only InuYasha is able to revive him by using Tensaiga. At the moment that’s not going to happen because of his youkai being berserk,” the nurse glanced to the bed where InuTaisho’s old sword still hummed and rattled on the bed, waiting for a master to wield it. “I am going to need you to hold his jaw open so I can put this in there without him tearing off my fingers.”

Kouga glanced down into the bowl that contained a fine paste. He was sure it wasn’t as flavorful as it appeared. Glancing back at InuYasha who growled at him daringly, Kouga just nodded as he went to kneel above his head. “InuYasha, I’m sorry, but it’s for the better of everyone, including Sesshomaru. Now be a good mutt and open wide.”

The healer rushed over and scooped most of the paste up in her hand, poised and ready to place it in his mouth. This would have to be done as quickly as possible. “Hold it open and as soon as it’s in there secure his jaw shut and let him swallow it. If he doesn’t swallow, it will take longer to be fully absorbed.”

Kouga used one hand to hold down InuYasha’s head as the other one fought the snapping teeth, which caught Kouga’s index finger. With a howl he yanked it back. Observing the damage, he was glad that his finger was still intact, though it looked bad with the blood coming out, he would live. Securing InuYasha’s head by one of the sensitive ears, Kouga managed to quickly grab InuYasha’s jaw, jerking it open with his other hand. “Okay do it!” he said as the nurse stuck her fingers in the deranged hanyou’s mouth, trying to get most of the paste in the back of his mouth before it ripped any parts from her hand.

Successfully pulling her hand out, she nodded to Kouga who allowed InuYasha to snap his jaw shut. Quickly holding his friend’s mouth closed the nurse stroked his throat, hoping that he would swallow. Much to both their surprise, InuYasha swallowed. It would only take a few minutes before InuYasha would be sedated enough to put some sense into him.

They watched as InuYasha panted and growl before the sounds started to turn into angry pants. The guards that had been piled on top of him slowly got off of him and went to stand by Kirara, Kouga and the nurse. As the sedative took its course, the angry growls and heavy pants turned into groans of pain as the further damage from his youkai’s actions seeped in instead. The lavender demon markings also receded, and InuYasha’s golden eyes returned.

When it was clear to Kouhei and his mate, who were the last ones on top of InuYasha, that it was safe, they got off of him and shifted to their normal forms, checking their bodies over for damage. They found that they were covered in open gashes from claw and bite marks, but there was nothing too serious. Stepping back, they watched with slight pity at InuYasha who was paralyzed in pain. He laid on the floor, tears streaming down the side of his face.

‘He’s gone…’ he thought sorrowfully. InuYasha wanted to wipe away the evidence of his sadness, but his arms no longer responded. And neither did the rest of his body.

“Can you move?” asked Kouga as he painfully watched his friend. He felt bad for the hanyou being in so much pain, and finding that he was powerless to do anything about it.

InuYasha didn’t reply. He just stared at the ceiling until his eyes blurred. Swallowing the pain, he gave a slight shake of his head.

A realization swept across the room: if InuYasha could no longer lift his arms or body, how could he revive Sesshomaru? There was no one of the Inu’s clan bloodline that was able to handle Tensaiga. Sesshomaru was doomed if InuYasha wasn’t able to.

“Can you get him something to counter that sedative?” Kouga asked, worriedly.

“I can try to, but I believe its best to just let the drug run its course. Besides, I’m sure the sedative is already wearing off,” she replied, sitting down. Wiping her brow, she closed her eyes to take a deep breath. It was turning out to be a long day. “Maybe we should tell him the plan, while he’s not able to protest much.”

Kouga nodded. “I also have news on what Kagome has in her modern medicine.”

At Kagome’s name, InuYasha’s eyes darted to his friend with a slight glare. ‘What about Kagome and her modern medicine?’ he wondered. ‘And what plan? Sesshomaru’s dead… I’m the only one left.’

“First is first. InuYasha, before your rampage, we had planned to use Tensaiga to revive Sesshomaru. Do you remember?”

InuYasha blinked. He remembered now. If the worse came to worse, Sesshomaru wanted him to use Tensaiga. There was also a question now as to the way of him even wielding it properly.

“Now we’re not even sure if you can… You’ve broken the casts off your arms, and who knows what other damage has been done. You might have just shattered the rest of your arms from what I know. Your damn youkai might have blown its chance of reviving its only mate,” Kouga said, pausing as he shook his head in shame. “I had gone back to find help. Of course, I was unable to get any help without Sesshomaru being with me.”

InuYasha narrowed his eyes in question.

“We would need Sesshomaru to be in his demon form for him to cross over and be brought to the modern time to be treated for his illness. Without him they cannot give anything. That’s why Kirara has returned with me, she’s going to help carry Sesshomaru and myself back.”

For the first time, InuYasha took notice of the large neko who was resting on the bed in observation. She gave a small sigh and drooped her ears. She didn’t like seeing her friend in such pain or in such a pitiful state of helplessness.

“Yes… So now we’re at a standstill with you. We have no other option to revive him. As far as we know, it’s now a lost cause…” Kouga turned away to walk over to Sesshomaru’s pale body on the floor. Such a regal lord was no more.




Sesshomaru could see a light that pierced the darkness in his mind. He had been thinking about his life over and over again, scenes from his childhood and memories that he had thought forgotten. Now he became distracted by this new light in his mind. He was curious as to what it was. He wanted to get closer to it, and by chance his body felt heavy and his feet came underneath him; up-righting his body.

Covering his eyes against the light he moved forward. ‘What is this?’ he thought as he approached.

A figure stood in shadow of the light, tall and lean. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, and quickened his steps. As he stepped into the light he was greeted by the person he least expected.

InuTaisho.

“Father?” he found his voice somehow as he stared face to face with his father, an elegant lord with long flowing dark silver hair reaching past his buttocks. Jagged lavender stripes adorning each cheek. Piercing golden eyes stared at him sadly.

For a long time InuTaisho didn’t speak. He was too shocked to see his son standing before him. Never in all eternity did he expect this moment to come so soon. Well, he had hoped it would never come to past, so soon at least. However, when he got that pull to come to greet a loved one to the other side, he knew it had to be either InuYasha or Sesshomaru. He would have expected InuYasha to been killed somehow, and not Sesshomaru, to say the least.

Seconds before he left to appear before one of his sons, his parental instincts told him it was Sesshomaru. In a way he wanted to weep, but at the same time, rejoice about being able to be reunited.

“Where am I?” Sesshomaru asked, his voice seemed to echo in the vast of bright light.

Again a long pause of silence greeted his ears.

“Why do you not speak to me?”

InuTaisho shook his head as he turned his back to his son and walked a good three yards away from him. ‘This has to be some form of mistake,’ he thought before turning to his son, unsure of what to say. “This is the afterlife. You’re dead, Sesshomaru.”

“Dead?” he asked in disbelief, stepping a few steps forward.

The inu lord knew that his son had been sick for quite some time since the defeat of Naraku. He just didn’t think that the sickness would conquer his son. “Yes, I’m sorry.”

Sesshomaru felt a small lump in his throat. InuYasha failed him. There would be no second chances. This was it. “But, why didn’t he use Tensaiga?” Sesshomaru asked to himself softly as he looked to the misty ground. He felt betrayed and hurt that his brother wasn’t able to wield it.

“Tensaiga?” InuTaisho asked turning around at hearing his old sword’s name. InuYasha? He should be able to use it. What’s wrong with him? What would prevent him from using it I wonder?”

“He was attacked. Both of his arms were broken. Maybe that is why he is unable to use it,” Sesshomaru commented softly.

InuTaisho paused in thought as his mind traveled to the world of the living. He did this very little because it hurt too much to see past such barriers. It was also a taboo in the afterlife society. No one wanted to dwell in the land of the living. It reminded them of the many things that were lost. Now he needed to find out why his son was here so soon.
Sesshomaru watched his father fall into silence. What was he thinking? ‘Life belongs to those who live; I can not live in the past or present. It is their problem…’ InuTaisho had thought like many times before.

InuTaisho could see what had happened. He was surprised to see his youngest son in such horrible shape. It was a wonder that he wasn’t dead. As soon as he touched the land of the living, memories of InuYasha’s thoughts and those closest to him hit him in a flood. Grunting, he pushed them to the side and sifted through them, absorbing all that had happened so far.

His son was foolish and had lost control, and it might have caused them to lose it all.

Giving a weary sigh, he pulled out of the flooded memories, rubbing his temples he looked at his eldest who stood waiting. “It seems that InuYasha’s youkai lost it once it discovered that you were dead,” he paused realizing that it meant a strong bond had formed somehow during whatever brief time they had spent together. From what InuTaisho could guess, it had occurred somewhere in their childhood, before his eldest had become so closed off and cold hearted. “Congrats on the bond at least…”

“Bond?”

“Yes, the broken bond that caused InuYasha’s loss of control.”

“Is that why?” Sesshomaru questioned, stunned. He had never realized their bond with each other. How it had formed was a slight mystery with all that had gone on in their lives of hating one another.

InuTaisho nodded. Pausing, he hummed, one hand on his chin, the other on his hip. “Perhaps if InuYasha can manage to hold Tensaiga, there might be some hope. All he would need to do is slash it across or over your body, which could bring your soul back. That is if the guardians haven’t taken your soul for good.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes widened his eyes. There was hope. He might just be able to return!

“For now we can just wait. Come let’s go retire to my gardens… We have so much to catch up on. As much as I want you here, Sesshomaru, you must go back sometime. I know this is not your time. But in the mean time, I want to catch up on things,” InuTaisho said as he led Sesshomaru out of the bright entrance light to a beautiful garden.

Sesshomaru sat down on stone bench. Staring at the grass, more then ever he wanted to leave eternity for more time on earth. Yet being there in the afterlife gave him so many questions that he wanted to be answered. He was sure that his father could answer them.

“No, I will not answer all your questions, Sesshomaru. Like I said, this isn’t your time. Your questions will be answered in your own time if they have not already been answered,” InuTaisho said, seeing his son’s expression. He knew what he was thinking just as well as if they had been voiced, because he too had the same questions when he first came to the after life. “When we meet again, I promise to answer all your questions…”




InuYasha could feel the sedative wear off, and whatever paralysis that held back the pain had worn off. Now he was close to tears from all the pain. The nurse was kneeling over him checking on his injuries that he had received from his youkai’s rampage.

“Should we make funeral arrangements for Sesshomaru?” Kouhei asked softly.

“No… I want to make sure there isn’t any other way,” InuYasha said softly, his voice cracked from the pain. “Set his body on the bed…”

“It looks like most of your forearms are shattered. Your ankles are both broken entirely.” The nurse looked at the disgusting bone that was pushed through the skin on his left upper ankle. The right ankle looked pretty twisted. The nurse was sure if he were any more human, she’d have to amputate all four limbs. Lucky for InuYasha they would heal. It occurred suddenly to the nurse that if she put the limbs in casts that they might be strong enough to support InuYasha’s arms and he might be able to wield the sword. That would surely work. “I’m going to need to reset all of these. Just maybe you’ll be able to hold that sword if the casts support your arms. But we need to hurry, the longer we wait the less chance we have at reviving him.”

InuYasha glanced up at the nurse dumbfounded. There was still a chance. “You mean it?”

She nodded as she quickly got the things needed for casting up InuYasha’s arms.

“I can help support you too, InuYasha,” Kouga said as he helped Kouhei and Daisuke lift Sesshomaru’s stiff body on to the bed.

“I–I’ll go get something to clean him up. He’s bloody,” Daisuke commented suddenly as he made for the exit.

“Me too,” Kouhei said as he left after his partner.

“This might be pulled off,” the nurse said. “Now I’m going to have to bind these up tightly. I’m sorry for any discomfort, InuYasha. Kouga, help support his arm while I wrap it with a splint, bandage and cast it.”

InuYasha cried out in pain as his friend lifted one of his arms. ‘What have I done?’ he thought in more ways then one. To his brother and to himself he had done more harm then he had ever thought he could do.

Biting his lip he kept from crying out as they wrapped his broken limbs. Black spots prickled at his vision; he would not pass out though. InuYasha could feel his heart being torn apart. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling like this. He had hated Sesshomaru. Now that Sesshomaru was dead, he should be happy that his older brother was now out of his hair. Yet, InuYasha wasn’t. His mind was feeling guilty for thinking such ills of Sesshomaru, that he should feel bad. And that’s what he felt now.

They finished wrapping up his first arm and started on his second, letting the first arm’s cast harden under the support of some pillows which were stacked beneath it. As they began to start on his second arm, InuYasha glanced over at Sesshomaru’s sword. Tensaiga still remained humming; demanding to be used. ‘Maybe it’s a sign he can still be saved,’ InuYasha thought.

He didn’t know the full power of his brother’s sword, and its limits, he had only seen his brother’s sword in action a few times. Sesshomaru was kept back from using it. Being a bit self-centered, as it seemed, as well as ungrateful for what his father left him, he had kept it sheathed. He was unable to use it for battle because it only brought the dead to life. It was a sword not of the world of the living.

InuYasha, deep in thought, forgot about the pain for a moment. The nurse’s voice brought him back to reality. “We’re finished. I’ll give you a moment to rest before we try anything else. This will also allow the casts to harden. I can start on your ankles if you want.”

Shaking his head, “No…” he replied, his voice raspy. It hurt enough already as it was. He didn’t want anyone touching him anymore. “Let’s wait just a bit longer. I don’t think I can handle anymore. It’s best just to try to revive him.”

Kouga cleaned InuYasha’s sweaty face with a damp cloth. “I think you had them all pretty scared back there when you went all crazy on them. I wouldn’t have thought you would react in such a way because I had thought you hated Sesshomaru. But I guess not,” he grinned, setting down the cloth. “Now, I think you can manage holding the Tensaiga. It shouldn’t be that heavy.”

InuYasha ignored Kouga and the guards who had just slipped back in with a basin of water and a sponge to clean up their lord; he stared at the sword. He would wield it. Tensaiga wouldn’t reject him. It was his duty to bring his brother back, and not let him down.

They waited a few minutes before InuYasha moved slightly as he shifted from one butt cheek to the other. “Give me Tensaiga…” he breathed softly.

Kouga helped him up slowly, wrapping his arm around InuYasha’s chest, lifting him up slowly. The wolf could hear his friend’s painful cries as he made haste to set him down on the bed next to Sesshomaru. Kouga went to grab the Tensaiga, and feeling it start to sear his flesh, he set it on InuYasha’s lap quickly.

InuYasha stared down at it. “Keh, I’m not able to grab hold of it on my own.” InuYasha paused. “Idiot,” he supplied quickly.

“I know, it just burns,” Kouga commented, looking around for something to glove his hand from the sword. He spotted the sack that had been previously used to carry back InuYasha’s gifts to his brother, now empty on the bed. Bunching it up Kouga picked up the sword’s sheath and held it out for InuYasha who gritted his teeth as his fingers wrapped around the sword’s hilt, allowing Kouga to finally pull the sheath from its sword.

InuYasha knew that just because it didn’t burn him, it didn’t mean he could still wield it. There was far more to the sword then a simple thrust, swing or jab.

“Can you hold it on your own?” Kouga asked, watching his friend tremble in pain as he fought to clutch the sword.

InuYasha nodded.

The sword vibrated and hummed, pleased that someone of its original master’s blood was able to hold it. Now it just needed someone to be able to work its properties properly.

InuYasha could feel the energy streaming through his fingers. He knew what he had to do; he just didn’t know how to do it. ‘How am I supposed to do this? What if I don’t do it right?’ he thought as he looked at Sesshomaru’s ridged body; Sesshomaru’s skin was now even more the color of the silk white sheets that he was laying on. ‘What am I looking for?’

The room was deathly silent as they watched and waited for something extraordinary to happen. Every one of them had their wishes and prayers on InuYasha at that moment.

It was more of the feeling that InuYasha had in his fingers that traveled up his arms, rather than the pain of his arms being broken. The feeling was more of a cool tingly sensation. And, as if by instinct, his body wanted to listen to whatever the sword wanted him to do, taking control of InuYasha’s body.

InuYasha gulped as he held the sword over Sesshomaru’s body. As much as it hurt to hold it, he lifted the sword and gave it a sharp wave over Sesshomaru’s body, moving his whole upper torso in the process, as his arms were out of commission. As hard as it was for him to create even this little movement, he was glad he did, because he was rewarded by the appearance of green little goblin demons that looked a lot like Jaken. They hovered over Sesshomaru’s body, poking and prodding at it. Some were even sinking their ghostly hands into him as if they were searching for something. He had never seen them before, and he wondered who they were. ‘Are they part of the other world? Have they come to collect Sesshomaru’s soul? No, I won’t allow them to take it, he’s mine!’ InuYasha growled inwardly as he instinctively cut through all of the demons, ignoring the searing pain shooting up his arms.

Instantly the green demons evaporated and Tensaiga stopped vibrating. ‘Did I do it right? Was I supposed to kill them? Kami… I hope so…’ The pain in the hanyou’s arms returned in full force causing him to drop the sword wish a sharp cry.

Kouga quickly retrieved it with a protected hand and sheathed the sword again. “Can’t you get him some numbing salve or some kind of medicine?” Kouga asked the nurse.

“Yes, let me mix up something.”

“Did it work?” InuYasha asked, his eyes scanning over his brother’s body for any sign of life. There was nothing. Their plans were shattered.

They stared for a long time before anyone said anything. “I suppose that we should start to prepare him for a funeral…” Kouhei said softly, setting the damp cloth in the basin.

Reality sank slowly into their minds. This was the end of Sesshomaru’s reign, and the beginning of InuYasha’s. Sesshomaru’s death was the ultimate surprise to the lands of Saigoku. Word would spread like a massive disease; it wouldn’t be long until other lords came attempting to assassinate InuYasha to take his right to be lord for theirselves.

Everyone knew that InuYasha had no true education preparing him to rule. And he had no idea of even how to do it; all he knew was to run, fight, to be a hanyou.

InuYasha could feel his eyes well up in unexpected tears. This wasn’t his plan. Nothing seemed to be going in his favor. With an anguished cry, mixed with pain and sadness, he poured out his misery with unexpected whispered words of love that surprised even him as he fell forward on Sesshomaru’s hard chest, “I love you… Please, just come back. I’m sorry, too…” he cried softly in an inaudible whisper, his hot salty tears falling on the seared flesh on Sesshomaru’s chest.

This was the ending of the beginning; or was it the other way around?


A/N: Ha Ha, I just had to do it! Sorry! I killed Sess! I’m an evil bitch muwahaha! But hey, while I hate to end it here, I need something to work with on the next chapter.

I’m still taking requests. Send them in the group, you know what to do.

And wowzers! 17 votes on the male names so far! Crap, you must like the boy names more than the girl names! Well there will be more female names later; I’m just narrowing everything down.

I know I have something else to say… But I can’t remember what though… Oh well I’ll put it up in the group later when I remember it.

Reviews are most loved!


Other fictions if you’re interested in my work:

The sun and the moon: First fiction. NC-17. InuYasha/Sesshomaru: MPREG, Torture, Body Modifications, Incest, Aghast, OOC.

Summery: InuYasha is captured by Naraku who is seeking further power, and wants to kill off the InuYasha clan one by one. If he can’t accomplish that, he’ll plague their dreams and their lives until he does.

Dear brother: NC-17 Incest, Possible MPREG, Aghast, OOC (just a bit)
InuYasha/Sesshomaru

Summery: You’re reading the story right now. You need a summary?


Soul Mates: Yu Yu Hakusho Kurama/Kuronue
Yaoi, Body modifications, Bondage, Aghast, OOC, MPREG (maybe)

Summery: Kurama fled to the human world seeking to recover from his loss and ordeal in the spirit world, where he lost his partner. He seeks to get over the loss but things come crumbling down when he catches a glimpse of his partner. “But didn’t he die?”

Intensifiers: Sesshomaru/InuYasha:
One shot –Christmas special, Heavy BDSM and hard core lemons, Incest, “drugs”, CBT, AU.

Summery: InuYasha gets locked out of the house and becomes frozen! He manages to get in, but he needs some warming up. Sesshomaru brings home a special present to fix InuYasha’s problem of being cold.

Fan group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ CrimsonInHumanBlood_Fictions_etc/ (remove the spaces)