InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Demon Slayer Sango ❯ Chapter 12 ( Chapter 12 )

 

Chapter 12

 

He regretted it later, alone in his library. Standing before an open window Sesshomaru looked out on the forest he knew as well as his own life and pondered.

 

'I should not have been so harsh, she did not deserve such. It is not my way to be excessive.' This woman, this package of fire and light and contradiction presented a challenge Sesshomaru never imagined he would face.

 

She made him want to go to her even now with his anger still simmering inside and take her to his chest, soothe her and make her smile again. She made him want to ask her forgiveness, to kneel at her feet in humble remorse. The Lord of the West knelt for no one, ever. The entire business terribly confused him. How could this human woman inspire such inner conflict, such doubt in his own impulses? Yes, she had been stubborn and defiant and ridiculously emotional. She had refused to obey-- that was reason enough to show his displeasure.

 

'Moderation would have been the proper choice...her willfulness is one reason why I favor the creature,' he thought regretfully.

 

What was she to him, Sango had asked. 'The most baffling creature I have ever encountered on this earth,' he answered himself.

 

Had Sango been a demoness, his aggression would have been experienced differently. A dominant male youkai asserting his power over a weaker female made sense to the youkai mind and would have straightened out an otherwise troubled demoness. Sesshomaru found he simply didn't understand how to deal with Sango's humanity. She'd had an opposite reaction to what was normal-- ranting and shouting and vowing to disobey instead of calmly submitting to the superior strength of his masculine youki. And so he had escalated the situation by making harsh demands that he now regretted.

 

'I must feel something...unique for her, otherwise I would not be experiencing this discord,' he thought. Was it the result of their sexual bond? Could some kind of emotion be involved? Apparently from her point of view there was. Did he love the human woman? Until now the idea that a demon lord could have feelings for a human of any status was simply not fathomable.

 

In truth Sesshomaru could not come to a conclusion about his feelings because until now he'd rarely experienced life outside the linear and rational discipline imposed on him first by his father, and later by himself. Inutaisho had pounded into him literally the absolute necessity of not letting personal inclination interfere with decisionmaking. As a leader the lives of those who sought his protection depended on solid, clearheaded judgment. Emotions and personal impulses had no place in the face of such responsibility. In addition to this, excessive sentiment in others was regarded as a weakness, something to be exploited to one's advantage. And so Sesshomaru had simply trained himself over time to favor the part of himself that embraced the coldness and clarity of logical reasoning. It had come easily and naturally for him and he did it to the almost total exclusion of all other types of experience, particularly the emotional, and until now this arrangement had worked well for him.

 

The demon lord simply could not understand himself these days. Since Sango had come into his life his world seemed to tilt wildly, and a sort of psychic dissonance he wasn't used to had come to dominate his waking hours. In addition to this a realization began to dawn on him.

 

'I have claimed her as my own, made her my property, but it seems I cannot possess her.' This presented a contradiction he'd never faced before. Not having been raised inuyoukai Sango had no basis for understanding the rules. If Sesshomaru wanted her to submit he would do so at the risk of harming her, even killing her. He understood this now. She was like the delicate butterfly in the palm of one's hand that you do not want to let escape. In his attempt to close his fist and hold on to Sango by forcing her to obey Sesshomaru was in danger of destroying her, a defeat to his ultimate purpose of possession.

 

"My lord Sesshomaru. If it pleases you, the robe-masters are ready."

 

It was time to prepare for the feast of the full moon. In a few hours the Lord of the West would open the festivities and begin courtship of his chosen demoness. He turned with a sigh. It was the last thing Sesshomaru felt like doing at the moment. He wanted to go to her. He wanted to convince her he was not a beast, not the monster she had called him.

 

"My lord."

 

"I am coming."

 

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"Have you heard about the human woman? Apparently Sesshomaru-sama has taken her as his lover," said Midori.

 

Kaiya sighed and shrugged her shoulders while she sat for a servant who worked dressing her hair in anticipation of the festival that night. "Yes, what is your point?"

 

"Do you think he will keep her after he takes a mate?" Midori twisted her delicate mouth in a decided frown.

 

"I don't know. He does what he wants to do. I suspect that whoever his mate turns out to be will simply have to put up with it, if that is what he wishes," said Kaiya.

'Surely it won't be me,' she hoped.

 

The young demoness did not want to mate Sesshomaru, did not want to go along with what such a life change would entail. Kaiya wanted to paint, to have lovers, to go on adventures far beyond the palace. Being the consort of the Lord of the West would simply not allow for those things. In contrast her sister Midori longed to become Lady of the West. In a way it was what she had been trained for her entire life as the elder daughter of a senior court official. The elder girl scowled.

 

"I think it would be a terrible offense to the lady he chooses. I would demand that he get rid of the awful creature. It would be a grave insult to the lady's family honor." Midori folded her arms in firm resolve.

 

"You're already jealous and he hasn't even begun courting anybody yet," sighed Kaiya. The sisters would wear complementing gowns to the festival, Midori in a long-sleeved, violet silk robe with gold thread woven in a pattern of maple leaf and Kaiya in a gown of similar style but in a shade of soft peach.

 

"But she is human...what can he see in her? Yuka says humans are barbaric creatures who feast on their own children when they have no food. Can you imagine?" Midori shuddered, visualizing the image.

 

"I haven't seen her close up but reports are that she is quite beautiful, even compared to a demoness. Sesshomaru-sama is known to prefer attractive females. Besides that she has a skill-- she fights youkai, I've heard."

 

"Another odd thing. How can Lord Sesshomaru entertain a taijiya? She kills demons as an occupation? How crass. It is common and low-class." Midori raised a dainty nose in the air.

 

"Lord Sesshomaru has perverse tastes, it would seem."

 

"Ah, my lovely girls..."

 

"Father!" Kaiya and Midori jumped up to embrace lord Akira, their beloved sire. He had walked by and on spying them stopped at their dressing room to offer encouragement.

 

"You will be the most beautiful ladies at court this evening. Sesshomaru-sama is sure to be impressed."

 

"You flatter us, father. Where will you be when the moon rises?" At each festival the climax of the night involved a collective acknowledgment by the inuyoukai of the rising of great mother Moon over her children on earth, usually observed sometime before arriving at her highest point in the night sky.

 

"Probably sampling the fresh shipment of rice wine brought in from the continent my dears, you know I cannot pass up such a prize." The girls laughed, knowing their father loved the fiery water neither of them could stand to drink. They also knew he had an important role to play that evening, being responsible for calling the inu population to gather for their salute to mother Moon.

 

"We will be keeping a close eye on you then, father."

 

"And Sesshomaru-sama will be watching the two of you, I have no doubt," he teased. Midori blushed while Kaiya rolled her eyes.

 

"I must be off now my lovelies-- you behave tonight, Kaiya." Akira was well aware of his younger daughter's sharp tongue, and did not want to hear any tales of her skewering the dignity of vassals he would have to work with the next day. Lovingly kissing each daughter on the cheek, he strode away to attend to other matters requiring his attention at the feast.

 

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"My lord Matuko. Lances and bows have been spotted on the outskirts of the fort-- our scouts report they wear the standard of Jitsuo's clan. Two of our advance runners have disappeared behind his lines-- it is believed they have been slaughtered."

 

"Hmmm. He is beginning to move. Masu-- take this to the central fortress. You must give it to Lord Sesshomaru personally. It has been marked with my seal so that you won't be refused. It is imperative that you get this to him before the sun rises again."

 

"Yes my lord Matuko." The messenger left immediately.

 

'So it starts,' he thought. Matuko hoped Sesshomaru was prepared. At the last conference between the Lord of the West and his clan leaders, the best intelligence had reported that Jitsuo would not move until some days after the feast of the full moon. At that time the plan would be for an assembled force of soldiers loyal to the central authority to simply overwhelm the traitor with numbers and fighting force. However at this moment most of the allied warriors were now gathered with their fellow inu at their ancestral home in observance of the holiday, an event that could go on for some two to three days. In that time their enemy could reach the palace and attack.

 

Matuko had decided not to attend the festival, electing to remain at his fort with his personal guard because of the dangerously close proximity of his lands to Jitsuo's territory. Any initial attack would likely strike him first, and he needed to be ready. And now here it was. The cur Jitsuo would move on them then, under the full moon.

 

"Gather our swords and reserves, Nokono. We battle tonight."

 

Another warrior rushed in. "Lord Matuko! Come quickly!!! Fire-- hordes of inu are pouring over the walls--"

 

"Gods they are on us already? Where are our lookouts!"

 

"They were executed and their heads thrown over the high walls, my lord..."

 

Matuko rushed out of his hut and immediately felt the assault of a reeking, growing stench of danger and conflict in the air. Motion, wind and hard steel combined with the growing howl of countless inu warriors in a roar that flew across the valley. The squat inu clan leader could feel the ancient call of bloodthirst rising in his veins.

 

'It is like before, in the days we fought after Lord Inutaisho's demise....They are coming, yes the wretched, bedamned traitor dogs are coming. Let them!'

 

"We will fight!!!!"

 

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"Now! Take the cur Matuko! We will bring him to Jitsuo-sama!" shouted Saku. He had been left in command of the aggressor army in the absence of his lord who gave instruction to strike immediately, explaining that he would return once a special mission had been completed.

 

Saku was under orders specifically to spare Matuko and other clan leaders for Jitsuo to deal with personally. His instructions were to kill everyone else. After a pitched battle of more than an hour in which countless inuyoukai lay dead or dying within the fortified walls of Matuko's stronghold, the plunder-hungry minions of Jitsuo's army now sought the leader of the southeastern inu clan most loyal to Sesshomaru.

 

They had poured over the walls, scores of them, slashing and burning and howling their fury. Their commanders promised them double reward for each head claimed of every defender loyal to Matuko and Sesshomaru, not sparing families or possessions.

 

"Here, here is the dog!" shouted Saku. Swinging and fighting bravely, Matuko stood against three of Jitsuo's strongest warriors. He managed to eventually strike down one of them with a swift thrust to the midsection. The two others then promptly fell on him while one raised a dagger to his throat.

 

"Saku...you are a traitor as well I see," growled Matuko as he struggled against his two captors. He and Saku had fought together decades before in support of Sesshomaru. Matuko wondered what Jitsuo had promised him to rebel against their leader.

 

"Not for long. Soon that dog Sesshomaru will be no more. And then you will be the traitor."

 

"Sesshomaru has been good to you, Saku. Why do this?"

 

"Jitsuo has promised a new day for our people. And plenty of land besides."

 

"So that is the reason, pure unadulterated greed. May you burn in hell, Saku. You are nothing but a covetous traitor." The next thing he knew, the world was dark. Saku had dealt him a vicious blow to the head with the hilt of his sword and he was left hanging limp between the two rebel inuyoukai.

 

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The demon slayer cursed her predicament. 'I only wanted to feel safe for once, to be happy. I must have been a fool to trust him.'

 

For Sango it had been against her better judgment to pursue Sesshomaru and now she realized she was paying for it. For a while she'd let herself believe he could feel, that he might actually have a heart beneath the stoic and unyielding facade he wore like armor. His behavior the previous day had been shocking, and the things he had said made her shudder in disgust. 'So that is the true face of a demon.'

 

In spite of it all she still wanted him, still felt affection for him even after their horrible fight the previous afternoon. The thought of his rare but amazing smile, his sweet attentiveness to her, his incredible body, the way he made her laugh with his dry, subtle humor-- these were still bright in her mind; the many tender moments they had shared were not easily discarded. Sango cherished them even now.

 

Looking back it had been easy to fall in love with Sesshomaru. Until yesterday he had treated her well. She recalled how responsive he had been to her needs during their rather brief time together. He went out of his way to make her feel protected so that she didn't have to watch the night for danger as she always did. A huge had been burden lifted from her mind knowing nothing and no one could hurt her as long as Sesshomaru was near. Also his response to her physical urges had been spectacular, and even some of her emotional needs had been met-- he made her feel beautiful, desirable and appreciated for herself.

 

Sango simply could not imagine a more suitable romantic arrangement. He had respected her independence and even encouraged her training with lessons in sword technique. He treated her as an individual with a mind, and took an interest in her thoughts. What had made him suddenly fly off the handle that way? Why forbid her fighting demons? It couldn't be out of fear for her safety-- he had seen first hand her skill in defeating even the most formidable of youkai. Could he truly be so spiteful, so petty as to treat her as a prisoner because she objected to his taking a mate? It made no sense.

 

And he wanted her to move to the palace permanently. No, he had ordered it. On some level it was actually flattering because it meant he thought enough of her to want her close to him much of the time. But Sango believed she would rather live in a mosquito filled swamp than be cooped up like a rag doll in the eerie old fortress. She could not stay and she would not, not even for someone she had come to love. The taijiya in her would rather die than give up what fulfilled her most in life.

 

'I must leave here. I cannot stay and watch him take a wife.'

 

She looked over at Kirara, who stared back at her taijiya friend with a sympathetic look. "I suppose you want to say I told you so, don't you Kirara?" Instead the neko curled up on Sango's lap, offering what comfort she could.

 

'I cannot live as anyone's mistress, not even Sesshomaru's. Father would be appalled. Not only that, I wouldn't be able to stand myself if I did. I left Miroku for similar reasons. Nothing inside me has changed that much.' Sango stroked her friend's soft fur while imagining a way to escape the palace. She assumed the guard would be alerted to her presence and warned to prevent her from leaving. However she also knew this to be the night of the festival, and assumed every hand would be called to keep order at the palace-- according to Hisako the population was expected to swell to well over twice its normal size for the next few days. 'It should be pretty easy to slip away without being noticed as long as I'm careful and choose the right time,' she thought.

 

"Sango-san! What do you think of this?" Rin ran into her room carrying a bolt of fabric draped over her arm. Since their flower-weaving time together the day before Sango had not seen the little girl. "Whats the matter? You look so sad." She rushed to her side and sat down.

 

"Its nothing, Rin-chan. Nothing you need to worry about." She tried to smile. It would not be proper to involve the girl in her problems with Sesshomaru.

 

"There will be acrobats, Sango-san! Can you believe it? Hisako told me so! I've never seen an acrobat before...do you like this kimono?" she held up a small robe, a light silk sheath in pink and white.

 

"Won't it be too thin for this weather, Rin-chan? Remember you will be outside a lot tonight..."

 

"Hmmm, you are right. I'll go look for something else. What about you, Sango-san? Why aren't you getting ready for the feast?"

 

"Rin, something has come up. I have to be absent from the festival."

 

"What?" She frowned. "But you must come, Sesshomaru-sama will want you there. He likes you Sango-san." Looking into her eyes Sango could tell that Rin knew something had been going on between herself and Sesshomaru. She wondered if the girl also knew that he would be courting a demoness that evening.

 

"Well, I have some very important matters to attend back at home. Some nasty youkai have got loose and are terrorizing the poor villagers. I must go and protect them," she lied. "I will have to be absent this time. Rin, I need to ask something of you. It is very important that you tell no one that I have gone."

 

"What about Hisako?"

 

"It's best that we not bother her. She has a lot to do tonight and doesn't need to concern herself with me. You won't tell her will you?"

 

"No, if that is what you want. But what about Lord Sesshomaru? He knows you are leaving, right?"

 

"No! I mean...no dear. You musn't tell him. Do not say anything to him please. And if he asks where I've gone tell him you are not sure. I cannot say why, just please do this Rin." Sango felt bad for putting the little girl in the position of lying for her, but it couldn't be helped.

 

"A-alright, Sango-san...I am sad that you have to go."

 

"I am too, dear one."

 

"Do you need help? I can get Ah-Un to take you home." Sango recalled the two-headed dragon/horse creature that Sesshomaru occasionally used. Rin had come to adopt the creature as her own and often went out on rides without her guardian in attendance.

 

"No, no. Kirara and I will make our way on our own. Now remember Rin-chan, you won't say anything to anyone, correct? Not even to Sesshomaru-sama?"

 

She nodded. "I won't. When will I see you again?"

 

"I-I am not sure of that Rin." A pause. Sango felt uncomfortable and shifted her weight.

 

Intuition drove the younger girl to speak. "Did you and Sesshomaru-sama have an argument? Did he say cross things to you? Oh, you musn't let it bother you, Sango-san, Sess-sama doesn't mean it. It is only his way. He is a great lord and must be hard sometimes. You shouldn't be sensitive, I am used to it now and you will be too."

 

Sango wanted to gather Rin up and squeeze her tight. The girl's undeviating devotion to Sesshomaru touched her deeply and her innocent desire to fix the situation moved the taijiya in spite of what she had been through with him.

 

"Maybe you are right Rin. Maybe I should remember that." Sango smiled as a single tear fell from the corner of her eye. If only Rin were old enough to understand then she could pour her heart out. As it was the two young women simply embraced warmly.

 

"It will be all right Sango-san. Whatever is wrong I know Sesshomaru-sama will fix it. He is a great lord."

 

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A hush went around the ancient hall. The space had seen countless ceremonies over the centuries related to the inuyoukai: coronations, mating rituals, even duels between nobles had all been present here. The current Feast of the Full Moon was only the most recent use for its highly polished floors and long, open spaces.

 

Scores of richly dressed elegant lords and ladies now lined the walls of the hall in anticipation of the opening of the event which would involve ceremony, entertainments, and of course, feasting. Exotic smelling incense now burned in the air and enormous torches with intricately decorated bases threw shadows on the assembly that helped to create an elegant, trancelike atmosphere.

 

Suddenly a rumble was heard, and all gazes drifted to the opening where the room met the front of the Palace. What appeared next was that which never failed to inspire awe in even most the most jaded onlooker.

 

It was his true form.

 

In the subdued torchlight the glossy whiteness of his coat shone like mother Moon herself. Slowly the youkai lord padded in amongst them, his great clawed feet seeming to barely touch the ground. So grand, so imposing was this greatest of all dog demons that each and every one of the august youkai present knelt in deep reverence as he passed them.

 

He swept by, red eyes gleaming and seeming to speak to each and every one in the depths of their youkai hearts. These were his people and he knew them-- their fears, their hopes, their expectations.

 

Reaching the end of the hall the great inuyoukai lord reared up on great hind legs and nearly touched the full height of the thirty-foot ceiling. Finally he let out a defeaning growl that shook the ancient walls surrounding the assembly; the signal to begin the feast of the full moon had been given.

 

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