InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Desire's Cry ❯ Desire's Envy ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: Youkai and hanyous were never once my idea to begin with, and unfortunately, neither are any of the Inu-Yasha characters. Simply put, this story is my creation, of sorts. And yes, you hentais, it's not a nice Kouga fic.

 

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Desire's Cry

-Jasmine Fields-

 

 

 

A/N: Warning issued here for sex and language… Young padewons exit here.

 

 

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Chapter 2—Desire's Envy

 

 

Damn!

 

He couldn't remember the last time he had ever been so fucking furious!

 

Pissed because he was irritable - out of sorts with him self and snapping at every one he came in contact with - friend or foe. Earlier, he made an incredible effort to reign in his normally cool temper - even doing meditations the monk had insisted would calm him.

 

Not a damned thing helped.

 

Pissed because his wolf demon tribe fell into a trap set by that son of a whore bastard Naraku character again; man was he drained of probing, prying, and searching to find traces for his whereabouts only to stop at dead-ended trails that dropped out of existence in the most atypical places…

 

Pissed because Naraku scoffed at his very own admiration for Kagome… the gawl-fuckin'-damned thing attempted to molest her - right in front of their very eyes - to manipulate both him and that good for nothing half-dog into giving him some piece of the stupid jewel.

 

In a funk because he needed a good romp, fuck - something, but dog breath and the exterminator woman had already claimed each other's company through out the evening.

 

Pissed because when he did get - finally - to see Kagome, she wasn't paying him any mind, though he supposed it couldn't truly be helped. He hadn't even been injured while combating Naraku that day.

 

While he did know - and could almost understand - the feelings she extended toward him were somewhat platonic in nature - he had silently confessed a distinct possibility that he might not have much of a chance with her any way - sexually or otherwise - especially since the strength of the entire fighting group's bond regarding their extracurricular experiences might hold the chance of never being unraveled.

 

The only way that would ever happen was if he confessed - which he would not.

 

He reasoned that not even he was that stupid to compromise them so forcefully. It would change the group dynamics immensely… and he really wanted no part of the discord that would end up splitting their mutual objective.

 

Reasoning his misfortune was due that her loyalties didn't waver as much as he would have appreciated, he stewed over his internal conflict. He down right wanted her - for her… even though he just used the jewel shards as a lame excuse the first time he met her.

 

He almost hoped the innocent companionable behavior would stay strictly as it was now. It would be one fucking hell of a matter to try and control his flirting, teasing and touching around her otherwise. He'd fondle, pet, lick…

 

Then, there was the matter of not knowing what to do in the occasion that her devotion did sway toward him.

 

Not that he counted on change any time soon… or at all, for that matter.

 

Fuck it.

 

He was too worn out and pissed to think clearly; too displeased with the entire situation at hand and entirely too upset with the failure of his hard earned disciplined composure breaking at sight when ever he was near his woman.

 

No body could understand why he was sincere about loving her - and that was the most vexing humiliating mistreatment his ego had ever experienced.

 

Firstly, he didn't have the need to share his reasons with any of those who were as equally guilty of backstabbing as he was - maybe they were worse; it was hard to say. Next, his woman was so easy to like - he was relieved to admit - and even easier to love. Once, he even overheard dog-breath's brother - or was it his lackey? - murmuring about the `disgusting sweetness in this era' radiating from that human priestess that followed his arch-romantic rival. Lastly… he couldn't even remember the last time there was a `lastly'. His heart, mind, and body just wanted her. That was honestly all.

 

Well, his rival fucking knew his intentions weren't play time activities and chose every waking moment to pester, taunt, and separate him from Kagome.

 

No matter how many times he confronted him, or how he evaded lowering him self to the tricks and whims that baited his patience - or how many insults endured, he could never get passed the damned obstacle to talk one-on-one with the girl.

 

He would never measure up, he realized.

 

So, he had to adapt to his environment making small talk; slow small advances; saying sweet one liners; even sweeter two or three liners interjected with something about his true love for her - since it wasn't a lie and because he just couldn't get any alone time to try to learn more about her and convince her.

 

He had to settle for the unrequited love and camouflage his bleeding heart under the guise of playfulness and colored his longing by antagonizing the hanyou for her attentions then waiting for its conclusion `til she ended the argument with a submission command… proudly never directed at him.

 

He was pissed that the cycle always went in circles like that; pissed at him self that he could never be content - and even more so that he couldn't do a damned thing to change it.

 

Actually, he was most pissed off that his emotions were gnawing and twisting into bitter resentment on almost unfounded grounds.

 

He wondered what Kagome would say to the power in the shards he kept. Surely they were tinted black from all the evil thoughts running through his mind on how to torture others - and him self - for causing him such horrendous damnable misery.

 

Pissed that he couldn't find some one else whom he appreciated… some one else he wanted. He had tried, ever since he met her, to distance her from his memory… and just when he thought that he was able to forget, her scent provoked him senseless and drew him in - like a moth to a flame.

 

Nope, he didn't need any one to tell him that he was a hopeless prick, he decided.

 

Even though he was finally alone and darkness had befallen the earth hours ago… he cursed aloud nearly shitting bricks that he couldn't sleep again.

 

 

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