InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Destined ❯ Shinrai ( Chapter 5 )

In the remaining two weeks before the wedding, Sango found herself buried in preparation. Her and Miroku's hut had been completed and Miroku moved into it from Kaede's tiny hut. Sango felt an unexpected sense of loss. She hadn't realized before now how attracted she had become to his presence. She often found herself waking at night, looking for him. After a few moments, she'd remember Miroku was across the village and she'd slid back into a fitful, uneasy sleep. Miroku now spent a great deal of time away from the village. He and Inuyasha were often gone on yokai extermination trips while she remained with Kaede, learning more domestic skills and obstinately protecting the village. She understood it had to be done for the benefit of their "family" but Sango couldn't help but wonder if this was what her life was destined to become: the dutiful wife, left behind.

 

She tried to stop the doubts that had begun to plague her. Until now, she had never considered what marriage truly meant to society. In the slayer's village, female slayers were rare and even among those, stayed at home once they married and began families. Sango knew she was well past the typical age of marriage but there had been no one until, first Lord Takeda then Miroku, who wanted to make a bride of such a strong and strong-minded woman. She couldn't help but wonder if she was truly wife material or would she make a disaster of it. This was one of the times she really missed Kagome. They had become close during the time together and it had become easy to share her feeling with the younger girl. Now she was wary of the village women. No one understood what her life had been like before now and she really didn't feel like trying to explain it all.

 

The younger women in the village admired Sango's outspokenness and her involvement in such a dangerous profession. The older women were subtly telling her to enjoy her freedom now. When she questioned this line of thought, she was told that women belong to their husbands after marriage. It would be his will she would have to bow to, not her own. Sango frowned but out of respect for her elders, said nothing. Masako, one of the ladies present, took Sango's silence as acceptance. She continued to explain Sango's expected role as wife and mother. To continue slaying, she spouted, would be unseemly. Instead, a wife was to keep the home and the children and make sure her husband's needs were met. She was a part of his household and she would no longer be her own person.

 

Even though Sango continued her work of making pickles, Kaede could see the flash of anger in Sango's eyes and the slump of her shoulders as Masako continued speaking. Quickly changing the subject, the rest of the afternoon passed quickly.

 

Clearing away the last of the pickling materials, Sango's mind raced. The minor doubts that had been troubling her had now turned into full blown resentments.

 

"Surely Miroku doesn't see me as a possession?"

 

The idea of being "owned" as chattel only served to infuriate Sango more. Soon she was unintentionally banging pots around. Kaede's hand stilled her arm before a particularly brutal slam could occur.

 

"Child, I have no idea what these pots have done to you but nothing except the most fierce oni deserves such treatment."

 

Slumping, Sango handed the pot over. She tried to smile to reassure Kaede but failed miserable. She hung her head, allowing her bangs to hide her eyes.

 

"What's troubling you, Sango-chan? I noticed you were none to pleased with Masako's words today."

 

Looking into the older woman's kind eyes, Sango felt her anger fade and sadness took it's place.

 

"Do you really think Miroku will be unhappy with me?"

 

Kaede patted Sango's hand. "Miroku loves you. He knew how you were before he wanted to marry you."

 

Turing to the fire, Kaede prepared a cup of tea. Giving it to Sango, she slowly stood and walked to the door.

 

"If it's really bothers you, ask Miroku. He'll be nothing but honest with you."

 

Moving the bamboo flap, Kaede stepped outside, leaving Sango alone with her thoughts. After a while, she decided to follow Kaede's advice. She would ask Miroku and hopefully, ease her mind.

 

The next day, Sango made sure to stay away from the chattering village women. She spent the morning with Kilala and Kohaku training in the forest and didn't return to Kaede's until nearly lunch. Kaede raised her brow but said nothing about Sango's 'disappearance' from the sewing circle. After lunch, Rin accompanied Sango to the garden. They weeded the plot and Rin practiced her plant identification with Sango making corrections. They then went to the river for a cooling bath and headed back to the village to help prepare dinner.

 

Sango relaxed in the company of Rin, enjoying the little one's idle chatter. Focusing her attention in the direction Rin pointed, Sango saw Miroku and Inuyasha sitting in front of Kaede's hut. Suddenly she felt nervous. She wasn't sure she was quite ready to tackle her issue head-on just yet. Greeting both men, Sango couldn't control her blush as Miroku pulled her close for a hug. Inuyasha snorted and turned his attention to Rin.

 

"Come on, kid. Let's go inside and see what treats we bought back for you."

 

Taking Inuyasha's outstretched hand, Rin happily left Sango, chattering with Inuyasha about her day. Miroku continued to hold Sango until she relaxed against him. He had missed her in the two days he and Inuyasha had been off exterminating. He hadn't shared with her but he already missed her at night sleeping near him. Inuyasha stayed with Miroku on his human night but most nights were spent alone listening to the quiet. Most of the time, the stillness was more than he could stand. Leaning back to look in her face, Miroku could see that while Sango was smiling, the smile didn't reach her eyes.

 

"What`s troubling you, dearest?"

 

Casting her eyes downward, Sango tried to ignore his intense, probing gaze. Gentle hands released her and lifted her chin. Meeting his deep blue eyes and seeing that steely glare, she knew she wouldn't be able to resist telling him the truth for long. Instead, she grabbed his hand.

 

"Walk with me, houshi-sama."

 

Frowning, Miroku allowed himself to be led away from the village. As they walked the path to the river, Miroku thought hard. Since Naraku's defeat, Sango only used his formal title when she was angry or upset. Kaede had tactfully hinted that something was troubling Sango but before he could probe further, Sango and Rin returned from the river. It was a beautiful evening and the walk would have been pleasant if the couple had taken time to note their surroundings. Instead, they walked in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When they finally reached the bank, Miroku sat down and pulled Sango to him.

 

"Talk to me. What happened while we were away?"

 

Wrapped in his arms, Sango suddenly felt foolish. It seemed like everything and everyone was adapting to life after Naraku except her. Sighing, she responded.

 

"It's nothing."

 

They continued to sit in silence, watching the evening sun dance on the water. Without preamble, Miroku spoke.

 

"Do you trust me?"

 

Frowning, Sango responded. "Of course."

 

"You'd trust me to have your back in battle?"

 

Not sure where this line of questioning was leading, Sango answered. "Yes."

 

"And would you trust me with your life?"

 

"Yes, Miroku but I don't under...."

 

Holding up his hand to stop Sango, Miroku continued. "Yet you won't trust me with your heart."

 

Sango closed her eyes. She could feel the sting of tears as Miroku's statement sunk in. This was the man he was going to marry yet she didn't enough confidence in him to tell him her fears. At some point she had become so concerned about becoming nothing more than a thing, a possession that she hadn't paid attention to what was right in front of her. Haltingly, she began to share the things the village women told her. She then told him about her own fears, how she was afraid she wouldn't be a proper wife. She told him she was fearful that he would be disappointed in her because she had never really learned all the things a wife was supposed to do because she had been raised by her father. She talked about how hard learning everything had been and she was so afraid to fail.

 

The sun was sinking low when Sango completely emptied her soul. She felt unburdened, but at the same time, worried. Miroku hadn't interrupted once during her spiel. Now she couldn't help but wonder what he had to say. To her great surprise, he leaned over and gave her a tender kiss.

 

"Thank you, Sango."

 

Confusion danced across her face at his acknowledgement. "For what?"

 

Miroku smiled. "For finally trusting me enough to tell me."

 

Sango was lost for words as the blush crept up her face. Miroku's smile got even larger.

 

"Just so you know, I have never wanted to claim ownership of you. You have never been an object or a prize to me. You are the woman I love and the bearer of my children. You are the woman I would be thrilled to come home to or have at my side during battle."

 

Suddenly, Miroku found himself on his back, bowled over by Sango's jumping hug. He was further surprised to find himself being peppered with kisses. Once the excitement of Miroku's acceptance died down, Sango began to blush anew at the position she found herself in. Miroku was still on his back and she was lying on top of him. She began to move away when Miroku tightened his grasp around her waist. Their eyes met and Sango no longer felt shy being there.

 

"You know," Miroku said as his finger ran lightly up Sango's back, his eyes twinkling with merriment. "I did mean to tell you I did leave something of mine in your possession."

 

Sango frowned, her mind immediately thinking of something fittingly lecherous of Miroku.

 

"I'm sure you are going to share that with me."

Trying his best innocent look, Miroku responded with laughter. "What were you thinking? I only meant you had possession of my heart. What else have those village women being sharing with you?"

Huffing, Sango rolled out of Miroku's grasp and stood. "Come on, Monk, let's get back before they send a search party." and began to walk back up the path.

 

Miroku stood and dusted off his robes. Catching up with Sango, he took her hand again and stopped her walk. Pulling her close, he kissed her again. "I was serious. You do own my heart."

 

Sango smiled. "I know. You own mine, too."

 

Miroku returned the smile and hand in hand, they returned to the village.