InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Divine Aspiration ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 5 )

*

"A man never tells you anything until you contradict him." ~ George Bernard Shaw

*

*

Chapter Four

*

*

~Sango~

It was painful at first, sitting there, seeing those images flashing through my mind.

But the images of the past were always painful for me, and over time I have learned to accept them. I have learned to get used to seeing them whenever something reminded me of the past. But every time it filtered through my mind, causing those familiar hot tears to fall down my face, I couldn't help but hate myself for feeling so weak. Hate myself for not being able to deal with the pain.

My father used to tell me that I just took the incident harder than anyone else, but I knew that wasn't the case.

It was my responsibility - it was my entire fault that it had happened, and the simple fact that it was harder for me to deal with it -it was almost laughable. I knew that it would be harder for me because I was to blame, and at first, I just wished that it would all go away. That I would wake up one day and everything would be the way that it used to be - I would be the same little girl that I had been before it had happened. But each time I woke up, I could feel the difference in me. The guilt that continued to nag at me, making me cry once again. Making me feel weak. And I knew that it would never change. I knew that I would wake up every morning, and cry for not being able to change anything. To make it better.

And now that I'm older, I know that I was just being naïve. That I was trying to change something that, in truth, was actually better for my entire family. And now, that I'm an adult I know that life never works the way you want it to. It always enjoys throwing you off, changing you for the better, if it could be called that.

When I was growing up, my father always told me to expect the unexpected.

I laugh at that saying now because I know that it's completely impossible. You can never expect the unexpected simply because of the fact that life is always finding new ways to surprise you. That, and we're all only human. It's not as though a human can predict when a person is going to suddenly show up in your life and throw it completely out of proportion. We can't predict when a tornado is going to come and thrash our homes - make us lose things that kept us stable and anchored throughout life. After all, just because someone sees a funnel cloud in the sky, does that really mean that there is going to be a tornado? No, it just means that there is a funnel cloud in the sky that could turn into a tornado. And we have to be prepared for when it does turn into one. Only, when it does, it still manages to shock the hell out of people.

So, I guess you could say that even the expected manages to shock people. That's life, and we all have to live with it whether we like it or not.

Because life isn't going to play fair just because you lose everything that's important to you.

And that is what I had to grow up knowing. That I lost something that was important to me and life wasn't going to give it back no matter what I did. No matter how much I denied that it wasn't my fault.

But, even though I have managed to accept all of that, it's still painful, because I suffered a loss - I was to blame - and despite all of my suffering I still haven't managed to get it back. Sometimes, it feels as though someone is hacking away at my heart. Hacking away the barriers that I have thrown up around my heart to protect myself from losing something else that means the world to me. And slowly, they spread to the other parts of my body - my mind, my spirit, my soul - and continue hacking. They continue digging through the mounds of memories and shields until I am nothing more than a vulnerable sobbing little girl, dealing with those haunting images once more.

Life hurts.

And truthfully, I still haven't gotten used it, but I accept it, regardless of how much I hate it.

But then again, there is always something that triggers all of that hurt and pain within a person.

And the trigger for me is Inuyasha. I know this because most of the time I try not to think about what happened to me - all of the stuff that I was forced to go through. But I look at Inuyasha and I know his story - I know everything that he went through and I just want to help him so badly. Because I don't want him to go through life the way I did. Living with all of that pain and guilt over what happened. Knowing that you have to shield yourself from people just so you don't have to experience that hurt anymore.

Inuyasha hides behind arrogance, anger, cruelty…. he just has so many masks, it's sometimes hard to decipher what he's feeling. But I can tell when something is bothering him because his eyes betray him. He always tells you what he's feeling through his eyes, and at first glance it may seem as though there is nothing there. But as soon as I take that second glance, I see the things that no one else has never taken the time to look at, simply because they don't care. I can see everything he's gone through, and then some. His eyes betray his masks, and sometimes, I think he is able to realize that.

But, instead of being arrogant and cruel to others, I am the epitome of calm - stoic and unflappable. The only thing is, my emotions give me away. During the day, I put on a calm face, and sometimes I manage to smile and joke around - be overly dramatic. But most of the time I keep myself calm and collected. But when something truly gets to me, I show everybody my emotions - I crack and just break down in tears. I allow myself to get angry. I don't try to hide behind that mask of calmness anymore. Because I know what it will do to me, I know that if I don't release my emotions then they will just eat me up. It will continue to build and build until I can't take it anymore and I'm afraid of what the consequences might be if I allowed that to happen. So every time something bothers me, I let people know. Every time I'm angry I let people know. I just can't fathom not letting them know how I feel. So I let them feel my smaller emotions - I let them see the anger and the happiness. I let them see everything expect for the pain. It's the pain which I continually hide underneath the masks, and I don't want to have to share it with anyone.

My responsibility.

That's how I view it, and my responsibility means everything to me.

And it was that thought that made me cry.

It was that thought that was always burning in my mind, causing those hot blinding tears to stream down my face - to make me tremble in sorrow. And honestly, I hated it, I really did. Because I remember making a promise to myself to never cry again - to never let anything make me cry, or else I would be weak.

I always broke that promise.

Fingers touched my shoulders tentatively, and I glanced up, the tears burning my eyes.

And all I saw as I looked up was sympathy. For a moment, it disgusted me, knowing that a young girl pitied me, but as I watched her conflicting emotions dance across her face, I knew that it wasn't how she wanted to act. She was merely reacting out of necessity, trying to stop my tears - to make me feel better. And for a brief moment, that bitter resentment at being pitied rose within me once again. But I had to remind myself, she was just a child, she didn't know how I felt. No one would know how I felt - the losses that I had to endure through my life. And this girl was no different. But as she looked at me, her eyes widening in slight disbelief, I got the strange feeling that she knew exactly what I was feeling - that she knew everything about me. And it startled me. Because it was my secret to bear, and my secret alone. No one else should have to deal with it.

The tears were still streaming down my face as she smiled at me sadly, her eyes suddenly devoid of any emotion.

"Inuyasha is my main concern," she started slowly, lowering her eyes to the ground in embarrassment, "but I would be willing to help you in anyway that I can. But as I said, Inuyasha is my concern alone and - any outside interference might end up being too much for me."

"That's good to know," I said, my voice sounding oddly strained to me, "but I don't need your help."

"Doesn't mean I can't offer it," she said calmly, her fingers running through her hair.

"Yes, well, next time just - don't."

"You shouldn't be afraid to accept help," she said sitting down next to me, "you should welcome it openly and, " she sniffed then, her nose wrinkling as her fingers danced along the hem of her dress, " your coffee is done."

You know, I'm not surprised that she changed the subject so quickly.

But then, I realized that I was, you know, tired so I just waved her off, falling back onto the seat of the couch.

"And - erm - not to, you know, be rude, but technically nectarines are not supposed be brown."

You know, I truly think this child was trying to drive me insane. But I also knew that she was just giving me something else to think about, other than the fact that I had just cried my eyes out in front of her despite the promise I made to myself never to cry. And for that I was thankful. I guess it was her way of saving my pride and forgiving my rudeness. But then, as I picked up the half eaten nectarine from off the floor, I couldn't help but smile at her - doing my best not to think about the sticky fruit juice that was running down my fingers.

"You aren't half-bad."

She fidgeted for a moment, looking oddly uncomfortable before nodding slightly, giving me a nice cheerful smile.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry, you know, I'm just not used to… telling."

I felt more than saw the surprised look flash across her face, and I think she was able to understand what I was telling her. But instead of talking, she remained silent, and I took the time to throw the nectarine - which was starting to turn brown from oxygen exposure - in the trash, and to turn off the coffee. Which, with a yawn, I realized I wouldn't be drinking. Cursing myself for getting too caught up to remember that I had made coffee in the first place, I tossed the liquid in the sink, breathing in deeply. The scent pacified me a little bit, but I still felt bad about wasting precious coffee, especially since I rarely had a chance to buy it. Hell, I rarely had a chance to get to the store with how much I was working. I don't even remember the last time I got out of the office, let alone my house, simply because of the fact that I was helping Inuyasha on that stupid case.

I don't even remember the last date I went on, come to think of it, and that just put me in an even worse mood - and it reminded me that it was late and that I was going to be getting only four hours of sleep at the most. It was bad enough that I had only managed to get to sleep only thirty minutes before the child rang on my doorbell, but now - now I was only going to get four hours of sleep. When, in fact, six would have been more preferable.

"Sango?"

I turned to her, her slippers catching my attention once again, and I nearly groaned.

I mean, I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to let her walk around town at this time of night, regardless of how nice it was. The crooks and the thieves came over to steal from this side of the town anyways so I knew that it definitely wouldn't be safe to let her out. And, knowing that she was dead did not help matters either. It was just common sense that she wouldn't have a place to stay. And even though I didn't have the guest room set up, I knew that I would have to let her stay here.

"Yeah?"

"Uhm -you see, I was hoping- well, that is to say - I don't have a place to stay, at all. So could I possibly stay here?"

"Yeah," I answered, "you can sleep on the couch."

"Oh!" She said as she flushed, " thank you."

"However, that blanket and those slippers," I said with a wicked smile, "they go outside."

And I can honestly say that she practically flushed to the tips of her toes.

"Well that's what you get for allowing Miroku to be hospitable to you," I mumbled as I ushered her out of the kitchen and into the living room, using my nightshirt to clean my fingers.

"Well how was I supposed to know that they - slippers - ugh."

I grinned. "Are you usually this inarticulate?"

"No," she answered with a scandalized look, "I'm just frustrated, embarrassed, and tired."

I nodded, giving her a playful smile as she collapsed onto the couch. I watched as she quickly fell asleep, oblivious to the lights or the fact that she didn't have a blanket. For a moment I contemplated just letting her use the afghan she brought, but then I decided against it, instead picking it up and tossing it into my dirty clothes hamper. I suppose that I could just use it to decorate my living room further - that is, after I washed it - and then grabbed a quilt for Kagome to use.

When I walked back into the living room, I couldn't help but notice how calm and peaceful she was - how innocent she truly looked. My father used to tell me that when people were sleeping, they were showing their true faces - not the ones behind the masks, but their true vulnerable, peaceful expressions. Ones that could be touched upon by a sweet dream or ruined by a horrible nightmare. But it always showed us that they had emotions - that they had fears and things that were able to make them happy. Things that were able to make them cry. And that was when they were being true. When they weren't guarding themselves against everything.

I wondered what I looked like in that state, whether or not I achieved that calming, peaceful state in sleep, and as I settled into my bed after locking the doors and turning off the living room lights, I banished it from my thoughts, deciding that sleep was more important.

I don't remember what I dreamed about. And truthfully, I never do.

I mean, I know that I have dreams - everyone does - but I can't truly remember what I dream about. I see faces - I always see faces, but I can't remember who they were, or what they look like. I can't remember what they were doing in my dreams - what role that they played. It bothers me that I am not able to remember my dreams - the images that my subconscious creates while I am in my most vulnerable state, but I suppose that its something that I just have to ignore. People can't remember every single dream, I know that. But it's just that for once, I have wanted to remember what I have dreamt about. What it all meant. My brother would say that I just am lacking in imagination - that my dreams aren't important and that I shouldn't let something like that get to me. But I can't help but let it bother me. I seems as though my dreams started to become less clear, more indefinable, as I grew older.

And honestly, I really hate getting older.

I was shaken awake by Kagome, surprised to find her dressed and ready - in some of my clothes - but at her questioning glance I merely smiled, giving her a small nod of appreciation. And I shouldn't have minded, because after all, she was just wearing some of my more casual clothes - which I haven't worn since half of my wardrobe started turning beige.

Sleepily, I made my way around my bedroom, as Kagome set to making my bed, for whatever the reason I have absolutely no idea. But you know, I wasn't going to stop her. It did give me a chance to be lazy - which I haven't been in a while, and after going through my normal morning routine, I saw that I had a couple of time left before we headed out to work. To meet Inuyasha.

Again.

Unfortunate, isn't it?

"Sango?"

I glanced up at her from my seat on the couch, munching on an energy bar, and nodded, showing that I was listening to the girl as I flipped through channels on the TV.

"Well, you see, before we go into work, I was wondering if we could make a tiny stop."

"Sure," I said between bites, "where to?"

Kagome fidgeted for a brief second, tugging the hem of her skirt.

"City Hall?"

City Hall? Oh no, no, no. Definitely not.

"Kagome," I said calmly, sitting up straight, "City Hall is on the other side of town. You know, as in the opposite direction of the firm."

"I know," she sighed, flopping down into my recliner, "but we really need to go there."

"I'll be late," I answered automatically, somewhat angry at the fact that she hadn't told me earlier, as soon as I had finished getting dressed.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, "but if you're worried about getting fired I can say that Inuyasha really values your company, so he wont fire you!"

I simply raised an eyebrow, knowing that the girl was completely correct. After all, I had been late before, and all Inuyasha did was give me a warning glare before telling me to list off his appointments for the day and isolating himself in his office.

Which he did fairly often, I might add.

So I know that most likely, by the time I arrived at the office, he would be sitting in his office, isolating himself from the outside world.

"Fine," I mumbled, turning off the television with a dejected sigh, "where at City Hall?"

"The Hall of Records," she answered simply. And I couldn't help but glance at her curiously, hoping that she would further elaborate.

But she didn't.

All she managed to do was give me a small smile before moving over to the door, slipping her shoes on along the way. Sighing, I stood up and walked over to the door, stuffing the last of my energy bar into my mouth.

Whatever the girl had planned, I just hoped it was good.

Good enough to let Inuyasha help her, because he needed that help.

More than anything.

*

*

*

Certification of Death.

Higurashi Kagome.

1981-1997

That girl was truly a genius.

And Inuyasha knew it too.

Which was why he was currently staring at the document in front of him, his expression a mixture of disbelief, anger, shock, and scorn. Not to mention, I could tell that he was impressed.

A lot.

Which most people didn't manage to do.

So, in turn, I was surprised with her.

And I couldn't help but wonder exactly how long it took for the girl to think of showing him her death certificate.

Glancing back at her, I could see the triumph shining in her eyes - I took note of the happiness radiating from her as she bounced on her feet, waiting to hear what Inuyasha had to say. And moments after moments after moments passed before Inuyasha finally looked up, his eyes automatically zeroing in on her.

"I thought," he growled as he pulled his ashtray closer to him, "that I said I didn't want to see you again."

I gave him a pointed look in response, knowing that it was just his way of pushing people away. Of running away from what was really true and what wasn't.

"No," she said - still smiling, "you said, and I quote 'stay the fuck away from me'. And, I would, only I can't. So - erm - now that you have proof that I am in fact dead and an Angel, will you let me help you?"

I couldn't help but giggle at the impression of Inuyasha she did - at the way her voice went low and gruff, but still managed to hold an arrogant angry tone to it. Just the way Inuyasha talked, only, she was slightly more feminine.

"No," Inuyasha said, crossing his arms over his chest, "you can't help me, because I don't have anything that I need help with."

Kagome frowned, and I just glared at him, knowing good and well that he was flat out lying to this girl. Which was unfortunate that she knew it too because she walked across the room and jabbed her finger in his chest, an agitated look on her face.

"You don't know what I'm feeling, you have no idea what it's like to live day after day like I do, and you sure as hell wouldn't want to. Sound familiar?" She asked, stepping back as he glared at her.

"Listen woman, you can't prove anything on hearsay, so I suggest you just leave me the fuck alone."

I was sure that I was gaping; surprised at the way he was treating her - almost as though everything that she had just said didn't matter in the least. And a part of me was slightly angered, but another part of me understood where he was coming from. He didn't know this girl, and yet she was bursting into his life, claiming to want to help him. He had lived so long with people ignoring him, acting as though nothing mattered, and he had lived his life hiding that pain - that vulnerability from others. And to show it to someone who was a complete stranger - it would be strange - unlike Inuyasha. It would be as though he were giving his feelings to the world, allowing them to do whatever they wanted to do with them. And his feelings - he treasured those above everything else, and I know that he would rather die than allow anything like that to happen.

But Kagome was determined.

And no matter what, she would not allow Inuyasha to ignore her once again - to cast her aside. She was aiming for something - something that meant a lot to her, and I knew that she would not give up without a fight.

Her temper was proof enough.

"Nhhh! You are so infuriating!" She growled, throwing her hands up the air.

"Harassment," Inuyasha mumbled as he sat down in his seat.

"Huh?"

"I can charge you with harassment. You know, get a restraining order while I'm at it."

"You really need to stop being a prick. And you know, smoking," I said as Inuyasha placed a cigarette to his lips.

"I know," he growled out, "otherwise Sesshoumaru will fire me and then I'll be nothing more than a jobless fool whose addicted to nicotine."

"With a master's degree," I joked, but frowned just as Inuyasha frowned.

"Joy."

He then took the moment to light a cigarette; completely ignoring the murderous look that Kagome sent his way. But before Inuyasha was even able to take a single drag of his cigarette - to have the taste of tobacco on his tongue and feel the nicotine seeping into his system - the cigarette was gone.

And Kagome was glowing.

I mean really, the whole strange iridescent blue light was surrounding her, making her look like some godly figure. I'm not sure how long I was staring, watching as her hair suddenly whipped around her face - as her young innocent eyes were suddenly screwed shut, one of her hands clenched tightly - but I knew that my eyes had to be the size of saucers. Because never in my life have I ever come across something as weird as this.

And only one thought was running through my mind as I watched her, unable to string together a coherent sentence.

Kagome truly was an Angel.

Well, either that, or she's the devil in disguise. Which wouldn't be too bad for Inuyasha seeing as to how he has the tendency to act like Satan reincarnated at times.

But still, Kagome was glowing, and she was an Angel.

And Inuyasha had his concrete proof that he couldn't get rid of her - that she was there to help him and only him.

And as her glow died down, as she opened her eyes and looked directly into Inuyasha's, I think he knew that too.

But I also knew that he was afraid.

"You," Kagome started quietly, her eyes widening slightly as she saw her skin turn from blue to ivory, " you wished for it to go away."

"Excuse me?"

Well, I'm glad that Inuyasha was able to get over his initial shock.

"You wished that you weren't smoking that cigarette because it was suddenly… bitter? Whatever, " she said with a careless shrug, "you wished for it inside your head and I gave you that wish."

Inuyasha simply responded by pulling out another cigarette.

Kagome glared.

And I - I let out a tiny giggle, trying to find any strings of coherent thoughts within my mind.

"Nhhh," I started, " so you took away his cigarette because it would make him happy?"

"Um, well yeah," Kagome fidgeted, glancing towards the door.

"Start small, I guess," I replied with a shrug of my shoulders before looking towards Inuyasha, giving him a curious look.

He merely growled, and it only added to my amusement.

"I'm still going to slap you with a restraining order," he mumbled, giving Kagome an icy glare.

"I'm dead," she deadpanned, and I was overcome with the urge to burst out laughing. But I didn't, knowing that Inuyasha would just glare at me, and then direct the patented glare that could freeze fire towards me. Which was something that I didn't want to do since I valued my life and didn't want to be sacrificed to the wolves.

"Then burn in fucking hell," Inuyasha retorted, smirking in triumph as all the color drained from her face, leaving her pale and infuriated.

"You jerk! Do you always act like this?" Kagome snapped at Inuyasha, her hands clenched into fists on her hips. Inuyasha merely glared at her, before kicking his feet up on his desk, and slowly lighting his cigarette. I felt more than saw the sour look that suddenly spread all over Kagome's face as Inuyasha did that, and for the briefest moment, I was ready to tell Inuyasha that he needed to put it out, lest his brother came along, but instead, I decided to let him deal with it. If he got into trouble, that was his fault. And even though my job was to do practically everything for him, I would not get him out of trouble if he was caught. I've already warned him enough and if he chooses not to listen to me… well, I'm not his mother, so there really isn't anything I can do in that department.

But Inuyasha just watched Kagome, a smug smirk forming across his lips as her look went from sour, to angry, to disbelieving, and then to exasperated in all under three seconds.

"Well - just - ugh. Sango," I looked at her, doing my best to hide my amusement at the situation, but judging by the way her eyes narrowed I must not have been doing a very good job, " does he," she jerked her head in Inuyasha's direction, " always act like an arrogant jerk?"

"Unfortunately, Inuyasha permanently has his head stuck up his ass, so to speak."

"No wonder," she replied, sitting down in the seat in front of his desk, "must be uncomfortable."

And Inuyasha just responded by taking a long drag of his cigarette, his eyes metaphorically burning holes into Kagome's head. And I was caught between amusement and surprise, because normally, Inuyasha would have slit her jugular in six different places already for invading his space. After all, when he was angry with people he let them know, in less than kind terms. But instead, he allowed this girl to sit in his office - he allowed her to invade his space, and for once, he hadn't yelled at her. He just sat quietly, smoking his cigarette, and listen to us talk about him as though he wasn't there.

"Well," I started slowly as I sat down next to her, "I'm sure he's gotten used to it, with all the ordeals he's gone through. Only way to stop the hurt, you know?"

And I knew, that as soon as that left my mouth, Inuyasha was ready to skin me alive. And, judging by the way Kagome looked from me to Inuyasha wide-eyed, Inuyasha was pissed. And I was in trouble. But for the briefest moment, I didn't really care that I had let her know. Even though I knew Inuyasha was going to be completely difficult with her - even though I knew he was going to stay closed off and refuse to open up - she was his Angel, and she had every right to know what was going on. How she could help. And any help that I could give her - well it brought her one step closer to helping Inuyasha. And helping Inuyasha meant that I wouldn't have to see the pain that triggered my own haunting memories anymore. It would mean that I wouldn't have to hide behind a mask, because there would be nothing that triggered the pain that I felt any longer. And if helping her was the only to accomplish that - well then so be it.

But after that moment, I knew that I was just being selfish. I should have been doing it because he was my friend, not because I wanted to forget. I should have been helping him because he needed it - he needed to know that there were people out there that cared for him and would do anything to help him out. For his sake, and not for personal gain. And, truthfully, if I were being realistic, then I would know that just because someone else stops hurting, it doesn't mean that I would stop hurting. Because I know that there will always be something else there - something else that will remind me of what it is that I lost so long ago.

Life doesn't work that way, and I know that I will have to remind myself about that every single day.

That is, if I manage to escape the room alive. Because Inuyasha truly isn't happy with me.

At all.

"I'm going to fucking kill you," Inuyasha growled, dabbing his cigarette out in the ashtray. And for a second, I surprised that he would say that to me, but then I remembered that he was - angry? livid? mad? - but all of those seemed like understatements in my mind. I mean, just sitting there, I could picture Inuyasha dumping my body in a river after he snapped my neck. And, I could picture him trying to snap Kagome's neck, only - she's already dead, so its not like it would make much of a difference anyways.

"Well then, we might want to move into the hallway," I said, the guilt already causing my chest to clench, "we wouldn't want my blood to stain the carpet. Or you know, we could wait until it rains and deal with it then?"

Inuyasha froze.

And Kagome - Kagome just looked back and forth between us, her eyes completely wide.

At this point, I couldn't even guess what was running through Inuyasha's mind, but just looking at his beautiful amber eyes, I could see the fear shimmering in them. Fear at what had been said - fear at his memories. But I could see his hate too. His hate for me. His hate for everyone. Because he hated everyone - he hated them all for not being able to understand. He hated them all for not trying to understand. But I do. Every single day, I try to understand what it is he's going through, but I know that it's nothing like what I had been forced to go through. It was worse. And I see this by simply looking in his eyes.

But every time I do, I can't stop the pain. I can't stop the responsibility. I can't stop blaming myself. And it makes me want to hate myself - it makes me want to cry. And I know, that among the people Inuyasha hates, I'm one of them. Just as he hates Miroku. His mother - his father - his brother. He hates them all, and it's sad because no one ever does anything to try to help him.

Except for Kagome.

And even though I have tried to understand him, I know that it doesn't help him any, cause it reminds him of what happened. Everything reminds him of what happened. Everything is always making him hate the world - the people that are supposed to mean the world to him. And it makes me feel sorry for him, regardless of how much I hate feeling pity for him. But pity is the only thing I can feel for him at this point, even if it isn't what he needs. Because I know that he needs something else, even if I don't know what that something is. Even if he doesn't know what that something is, he knows he needs it as well. Unfortunately, I doubt that he knows where to find it.

"You know."

I glanced at Kagome, startled out of my thoughts, to see her staring at me with a look somewhere between anger and sadness. Her voice was soft and low, and for a moment, I could have sworn she sounded slightly embarrassed - as though she had overheard something that wasn't meant for her ears.

"I know?"

"Yeah," she answered, "you know what he went through. You're able to see things that others aren't. You can see his pain."

"I'm not feeling any fucking pain. Nothing happened to me," Inuyasha growled out between clenched teeth, his fists clenched together tightly, his knuckles white. He was trembling slightly, most likely to control his anger, but I could tell it was from something else. Something in his eyes - he looked slightly surprised, afraid almost, but most of all exhausted. And all of it was manifesting into anger - making him lose his temper.

"You're a bad liar," Kagome shot back, her voice rising slightly, "something did happen to you."

"What the hell makes you think that?" Inuyasha asked, his voice suddenly quiet and low, "what the hell makes you think you know a single god damned thing about my fucking life?"

"I know what I saw," Kagome replied, her shoulders squared and her eyes straight ahead - locked on Inuyasha's, "and I know what I heard. And I know that the Entity would not send me down here unless something happened."

"Well the Entity made a mistake. Nothing happened, and I don't need your fucking help!"

"Then why did you cry?!"

And the room went silent.

And it was almost deafening - listening to the silence ringing in my ears, watching as Inuyasha stared at Kagome, and Kagome at Inuyasha, neither of them speaking, but thousands of thoughts running across their minds, as I knew there would be. It was just too much to know that a young girl would be able to contradict him - that a girl would be able to trap him like she did - and I think Inuyasha knew that. But I also think that it was a large blow to his pride - it broke off a piece of his self-esteem, and I think that Kagome knew that too. Which was probably why she turned and walked to the door, a sad smile playing on her lips.

She froze for a second, turning back to face Inuyasha, her smile still sad. But when she turned around, I could see the triumph in her eyes - and happiness was radiating from her - along with the sorrow - despite how serious the situation was.

And in that moment, I could see, Inuyasha and I weren't the only people who hide behind a mask.

"Actions speak louder than words Inuyasha," Kagome whispered quietly, before turning on her heel and disappearing through the door.

I don't exactly know how long Inuyasha and I both stood there, looking at the doorway, her words resonating within our minds. But I do know that it must have struck something in Inuyasha, because he sat down and looked at me - long and hard - he just stared, his eyes showing his exhaustion. And then, he reached inside his breast pocket for his cigarettes and his lighter, his eyes still locked onto mine.

"Sango," Inuyasha said as placed the cigarette between his lips with one hand, clicking the lighter off and on with the other.

"Yeah?" I asked, oddly somber as I reached forward to grab Kagome's death certificate off his desk.

"Fuck you."

I think I managed to smile, getting his message clearly. 'Give me a minute'. And so I did. I leaned back in my chair, giving him a brief smile, waiting to see whatever it was he needed to situate. But he just nodded to me, leaning back in his seat, his eyes glued to the ceiling as he stopped playing with his lighter. His cigarette hung limply from his lips, unlit, and everything got quiet.

Five minutes passed, and we both just sat there in the silence; I was waiting for whatever it was he had to say, and he was clearing his mind -organizing every single incoherent thought. But then, his cigarette fell from his lips and into his lap, and he blinked once and then twice, before he turned to look at me - his arrogant mask in place.

"I'm leaving," he replied, placing the cigarette next to his lighter, "cancel all my appointments."

"Inuyasha?" I barely managed to get out before he was at the door, opening it quickly. He paused, turned to look at me, his eyebrow raised in question.

"Yes?"

"I don't have the slightest clue what to tell your clients where you are going."

"Out," he said tartly, before he was gone, the door slamming closed behind him.

And I know that I got that message clearly.

Kagome.

He was going to find Kagome.

And only one thing managed to go through my mind as I sat there, staring at the door calmly.

That girl was good.