InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have to Do ❯ Chapter 34: I know I can’t be with you ( Chapter 34 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Do What You Have To Do
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 34: I know I can't be with you

The snow piled high outside of our humble abode, though I suppose you can't really call a castle humble.

I spent my every waking moment spoiled and pampered by those around me, even my children who seem enamored with me and their soon to be born sibling. I was rarely left alone but on the odd days when I was; I often napped, feeling all my energy drained as my body worked to prepare for the impending birth.

As much as I seemed to sleep I was rarely able to rest longer than two or three hours. My body was sore and achy and I tossed and turned as much as I was able and when I found a comfortable position I slept for an hour or two before waking up and doing it all again and in-between it all I would eat and relieve my aching bladder of its minor burden and sometimes Sesshomaru would insist on carrying me to the hot springs.

The springs were amazing and though I was told to not soak in them too long because such hot water for long periods could be bad for the child I carried; I still enjoyed every pain stealing restful minute. More than once I fell asleep against Sesshomaru's firm chest in the hot spring until he woke me and helped me to dry off and dress.

It had been a little over two weeks and I was far past caring that my swollen belly covered in stretch marks was visible to the one I had called mate and was beginning to again. Sesshomaru never reacted negatively upon seeing my body and instead he seemed almost positively infatuated with it and the movements the one inside produced. I felt loved and comforted in his presence which seemed almost at odds with some of my older memories. I would simply shove my negative thoughts to the back of my mind and remind myself how much I had changed and that others could change just as much as I had.

The troop flourished in castle and seemed to won over all who called it home including Sesshomaru. They had put on a beautiful performance for all who dwelled within the castle; Sesshomaru had even allowed the help to stop whatever duties they were performing to watch and listen. Their performance had allowed the odd tension that surrounded them to break and they soon found themselves surrounded by fans and admirers, young and old.

Hiroaki had made quick friends with Sesshomaru and his chief of guards and I was none too surprised that they were working to convince him to stay once spring came. I was also none too surprised to hear that Naomi, Midoriko and Aoiyuki had also become the best of friends.

Kiyomi and Kiyoko had befriended Chiouka and the three were usually happily gossiping, doing makeup and hair or teaching Chiouka to dance with Midoriko's help. I was promised a small performance once they were certain Chiouka's abilities had much improved. I was amused to hear from Sesshomaru that Chiouka had gone as far as to incorporate her dancing into her fighting style and he described her as “beautifully dangerous” and “quite talented”.

Chiasa and Masa were able to enjoy the days most children took for granted as they ran and frolicked through the hallways with Hisso and Hade. The four of them were certainly quite the sight…not to mention the ruckus they made. But…they were happy and they were cooped inside on most days so we all bore it with as much grace as we could unless they broke something and even then Sesshomaru would pull all four aside and force them into combat practice in the hopes that he could help them use up their endless supply of energy. It worked more than he would admit and I was amused to find not only my sons snuggled in bed with me but Chiasa and Masa as well after such a lesson.

I was happy and almost carefree as I watched friends and children interact and live happily in the place that had been my home and would be once more.

I was pampered and spoiled and anything I wanted was provided for. Sesshomaru rarely left my side. He slept in my room with me and shared the same bed and his behavior was so gentlemanly that I found it quite endearing. Every morning I would wake to his serious golden eyes staring intently at me, as if afraid I would vanish from his sight and on the few rare occasions I awoke before him I was given the rare treat of seeing his face slack in sleep with his pale silver eyelashes laying on even paler skin. He was beautiful and though he told me I was more so I had a hard time seeing it as I looked him over and his mere presence reminded me of some deity fallen to earth.

I was certainly enamored though I was almost afraid to call developing feelings love and if they weren't they were pretty close. The mere thought of Sesshomaru not being in that bed when I woke or the thought he would never be again made my breath cease and my chest ache something horrible.

As one month came and went I had grown even bigger and to my surprise I had an excess of energy. I found myself cleaning and straightening and rearranging my quarters and room. I rearranged all the blankets on my bed and gathered as many pillows as I could and though my mind was telling me I was being silly those around me seemed to not care and I found odd offerings of blankets, quilts and pillows from my children, Sesshomaru and amusingly…Reika and the other servants whom often waited on and assisted me everyday.

Naomi and Aoiyuki had both come to the same conclusion…

I was “nesting” which meant that I was nearing the final stretch and soon my little one would be ready to meet the world outside. I was nervous and jittery and yet I felt like I was more than ready. Seeing my four children I had already birthed helped to ease any worries and stress I felt about the situation because I had birthed not only two separate children but twins. Aoiyuki had said, “If you can birth twins then you can birth this little one” and I agreed.

I felt the pressure increase in my pelvis and noticed my belly's change in shape and it was odd to feel the first twinges and laces of sharp pain shoot down my back and hips and pull low in my belly and deep below it. What began as small pains felt once or twice a day soon grew to larger and sharper pains that left me almost breathless with their intensity. As they continued to grow closer from one every few hours to one every hour I slowly pulled myself away from the highly occupied areas of the castle where I often felt myself lost amidst the conversations and activity. I found it hard to converse or follow conversations and instead of excusing myself I simply would quietly slip away.

I tried to not worry anyone though I probably was a lost cause in that area. I waddled the halls of the castle as nervous energy and pains combined oddly, though walking seemed to help both.

I found myself lost in thoughts as I walked through the pains and I had delved so deep into my mind that I hadn't noticed the presence that seemed to stay close and watch from a distance and yet I seemed to draw comfort from it and when a strong pain caused me to lean heavily against the wall I found a soft hand on mine caressing gently while another hand gently rubbed along my back. I looked up and into a pair of golden eyes filled with sympathy and strength.

“Shall I call for Aoiyuki or would you prefer to wait a bit longer?”

I let out a deep breath and breathed in deeply once more as my body lightly shook from the shock of the pain that had just washed over it.

I shook my head, “Can you walk with me back to our room?”

He nodded and I gave him my right arm which he wrapped and enfolded in his left. We walked slowly and stopped once more in our slow journey as pain once more engulfed me in its embrace. I gasped and gripped his arm as I breathed through it and avoided fighting it, simply letting it wash over me. When it had ended we walked some more and soon we reached the stairs and we carefully made our way a little at a time and as carefully as I could manage.

Once we had reached the top I felt pain once more wrap around me almost suffocating me as I breathed through it I felt my body leave the floor and found myself scooped up into a pair of strong arms that pressed me into a well muscled chest.

Sesshomaru stared down me and I shuddered as the pain left me gasping while I clung to him. He wasted no time in walking to the room we shared and with some swift maneuvering he had opened the door and walked inside, not stopping until he had reached the bed I had made into a nest. He gently set my feet on the floor and made it so that I could lean against the bed which stood lifted up off the floor as high as my pelvis.

“Is there anything you need before I go fetch Aoiyuki?”

I turned to look him in the eye and took the time to assess myself and nodded before finding my voice which sounded thick and pain filled even to my own ears.

“Can you help me to shed these outer layers?”

He didn't answer, his fingers simply skittered over my body loosening ties and soon my obi and the thick outer robes were gone leaving my overheated body to cool in the cold air. I felt my heavy hair along my body and watched as it fell in waves around my face as I leaned forward onto the bed and I didn't even have to ask or voice my annoyance before his strong and nimble fingers deftly pulled my locks together and away from face. I felt the light tugging and pulling as he pulled my hair into a bun atop my head.

I was about to thank him when the pressure built and the pain became something unbearable causing me to cry out as liquid poured down my thighs. I gasped and though my mind said to wait for Aoiyuki or Midoriko before doing anything my body and instincts began cramping painfully and so I did as my body bid and pushed into the pain groaning as I did so until my opening burned and stung something fierce.

“I'm going to fetch Aoiyuki,” and before he could leave my side I cried out and shook my head grabbing his hand and pulling it and him to my side.

I gasped and he stared at me in confusion and as the burning and stinging increased I lost all modesty and simply lead his hand between my robe and between my legs where the pain was building as I looked into his eyes and I saw his own honeyed pools widen in shock.

I gripped what I could of his arm as he knelt behind me and I felt my robe lifted and pushed aside as I pushed into the pain, stopping to catch my breath before the pain began once more. I bore into it and felt Sesshomaru's free hand gently rub my inner thighs as I felt more movement with it the burning lessened only to start again.

“Just the shoulders now,” Sesshomaru gently crooned as pain descended once more and I bore into the pain with a deep groan that ended on a yell and then the pressure and burning ended as I felt my child's body leave my own.

I stood on wobbly knees and legs as I fought for breath, my body still cramping and stinging but not nearly as bad as it had been before. My head laid on the bed as well as my upper body and as I lay there the soft and wet cries of a newborn echoed in the room and helped to clear my mind as I fought to lift my head. I turned my head and partially turned my body and stared down at Sesshomaru who seemed enraptured with the tiny being wrapped in his arms and my abandoned obi; which he used to wipe and clean our wailing child.

“We have another son Inuyasha,” and as the words left his mouth he sounded happy and relieved and I watched as he lifted his fingers and gently prodded soft snow white puppy ears folded atop our sons head, nestled in downy white locks.

I felt my body cramp and as I dealt with the aftermath I watched as Sesshomaru stood and wrapped our son in a makeshift swaddling. Both of us heard the commotion in the hallway before Aoiyuki followed by Midoriko and Naomi entered the room. They took one look at me and the bundle in Sesshomaru's arms and I saw Aoiyuki visibly sigh in annoyance while the other two simply looked on in amusement and surprise.

“I'll see to it that warm water is prepared and brought up and then we'll see to setting you to rights,” said Naomi as walked to the doorway and called for a servant.

Midoriko made her way over to Inuyasha and stood at his side smiling down at my son, “You do make very pretty babies.”

“They do, you just have to be on your toes because you never know when or where they'll be born,” said Aoiyuki finding humor in it instead of annoyance like she first had.

“I am glad to boost that I have so far been apart of all but one of my pups births,” and as Sesshomaru said it I had a memory come to my mind of giving birth in a room with Sesshomaru's heavy presence covering the area as I bore down and screamed into a thick piece of leather.

“Technically you were there for all of their births,” I said aloud as I felt the soft prodding of Aoiyuki's hands along my belly, pressing and prodding to make sure everything had been expelled.

“Yes, yes…I know…I was outside while you birthed Ryusei,” and as he said it I could see dry humor in his expression.

I gasped as Aoiyuki prodded my opening before she issued a quick apology and then she gently cleaned my lower body with a warm wet rag. Once I was cleaned I was helped into a thickly padded fundoshi and a clean robe before I was helped up onto my bed and my nest of blankets and pillows. I sighed deeply and made myself comfortable before extending my arms.

Sesshomaru gently placed our clean but still sniffling son in my arms and I gently shushed him as I brought him to my chest; moving the robe out of the way as I offered him my swollen chest in the hopes he would have his first suckle. He seemed lost at first and I gave him a few moments to nuzzle and once that tiny mouth found my nipple he began suckling heartily and after a minute he successfully latched on drank heartily. I snuggled into my nest of warm blankets and as our son suckled Sesshomaru made himself comfortable next to us.

When our son had finished his meal it was Sesshomaru who carefully lifted him to his shoulder and gently rubbed his small back, helping to bring up his first air. It took a few minutes and once it was done he was returned to my arms and I fell asleep surrounded by soft warmth and Sesshomaru's arms that encircled both his son and I.

To Be Continued…

Sorry guys. Work has been hell….

Still no help and we're about to celebrate our 50th anniversary…FML… I'm exhausted.

So here's a chapter in the hopes I can finish this fic and then start finishing another one while I start writing the one that's currently in my head… Yeah… totally working on a Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on titan) fic… Yeah… going to try my first AlphaxOmega fic. We'll see how it turns out.

Kat