InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have to Do ❯ Chapter 33: I do what I have to do ( Chapter 33 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Do What You Have To Do
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 33: I do what I have to do

I awoke ensconced in the musk of dog mixed with the scent of pine, the soft earth on a rainy day, citrus and all that Sesshomaru encompassed. His arms held me against his chest which rose and fell with his breathing while he still slept and as I lay there in his arms so many questions flittered through my mind and yet I couldn't bring myself to wake him just yet to ask them. It was so peaceful to lay there wrapped in his scent with his warm breath gently rustling my hair and the sound of his heart beating against my ear.

It seemed right to be in his arms and as I had slept in them I had dreamed so many happy memories. Memories where this youkai who seemed so barren of emotions seemed to give small grins and his eyes twinkled ever so slightly with what could be happiness and contentment.

I felt his breathing change and heard his heart quicken just slightly and as I felt him wake his arms stretched over my body and tightened minutely after their loosening, as if afraid I wouldn't be there when he awoke. It was a moment before he finally spoke.

“Have you been awake long?”

I shook my head and cleared my throat, “Only a few minutes.”

“Did you sleep well,” he asked with his voice thickened from sleep.

“I did. I had very peaceful dreams.”

“That is good.”

Silence hung in the air and we both seemed to content to lie there in each others arms and yet we both seemed just a bit stiff and as I lay there so many questions ran through my mind.

“Can you tell me about yourself,” and as I asked I felt silly asking this man whose child resided in my body and whose other children I had carried and bore slept in rooms not too far away from my own; to tell me about himself.

“What would you like to know,” he asked as his arms loosened allowing me to scoot into a sitting position which he assisted me with.

“Everything you are willing to tell me,” I answered as I sat against pillows propped up against the beds headboard.

He nodded and turned so that he lay on his side with his yukata parted revealing a large expanse of his pale and sculpted chest. He closed his eyes momentarily and opened them looking up and into my eyes.

“I was born for the sake of politics to my mother; Inukimi, and our father Inu No Taishou. I cannot say that my early years were miserable or a trial. I was loved by both our parents and since both were lost in their own personal endeavors I was cared for by nannies and servants like most well-bred children.”

He gently lifted his left hand to caress my cheek chasing away the sadness I had shown, “It is not how all royalty are raised but it is how I grew up. I was a solemn child and out to prove myself whether for their attention or to simply prove I would best our father one day.”

I found myself nuzzling into his hand and holding it in place as his expression seemed to go almost emotionless and I found it all too achingly familiar.

“Our father had met and fallen in love with a beautiful human princess and though they could not marry in his or her land they loved each other and you were created.”

I stared down at his deep golden eyes that almost resembled honey as they darkened with the hurt and bitterness of his past.

“Our father fought the great dragon and was mortally wounded and yet he still went to save you and your mother. He died the day you were born and I am ashamed now to say that I hated you and her for it.”

I shook my head as my chest tightened at his words, “If I had been in your shoes I'm betting I would have felt the same.”

He gently moved his thumb over my cheeks and wiped away my gathering tears; which I blamed my hormones for, and then he removed his hand from mine sat up and against the headboard.

“I was not kind to you or other hanyou and I've done many cruel things to you over the years.”

I looked down at my lap which seemed almost filled by my belly where my active pup seemed to stretch and move as uncomfortable with the tension in its sire's words as I was.

“Did the me from before forgive you,” and as I asked him I placed my hands on my belly before looking up and into his eyes which seemed to expand in surprise at my question.

He sat there speechless for a moment as if surprised I had even thought to ask such a thing and finally I watched him give the softest smile that seemed so out of place on his usually stoic face and yet it was a welcome and beautiful sight.

“I believe you did. Before you left we spent hours in this bed connecting our bodies and I believe even our hearts desires.”

I smiled and once again took his hand in my own and laid it across my belly where his child insisted on stretching. I watched his hand rise and fall with my breathing and the none too subtle kicks and jabs of his child and looked once more at our connected hands before looking up into his face which seemed to be filled with awe and amazement.

“It may sound odd or even crazy but as I looked at you I had the hardest time trying to connect the “you” now to the “you” in my older memories. I had a feeling that this child growing in my body was not put there with hate, loathing or cruelty but hope, happiness and love.”

Sesshomaru nodded and we sat there for a few minutes with his hand under mine following the kicks and movements of our child and we probably would have sat there longer but my stomach growled loudly.

I blushed and then startled at the sudden expulsion of breath which was soon followed by a small chuckle. I looked up into Sesshomaru's face seeing him working to school his features before clearing his throat.

“I suppose I should see if we can get breakfast in bed,” and as he said it he leaned over and gave me a small kiss on the cheek and then moved to my lips with a soft and chaste kiss that warmed my lips long after he moved away and slid from my bed.

I watched as he flipped his hair over his shoulder and made his way to the door and opened it, exiting the bedroom and into the receiving area. I heard soft voices and the smell of food wafted into my bedroom making my stomach growl once more before Sesshomaru entered the room with a tray of two steaming bowls of miso soup, two bowls of white rice and instead of fish I was given the treat of boiled eggs and what looked to be a few pickles.

“Reika said the cook made your favorites from when you carried the twins,” and as he said it he gently set the tray on the bed between us after he sat down.

I lifted my bowl of miso soup and ate it slowly savoring the all too familiar taste and sighed in happiness once I had emptied the bowl. I ate the pickles just as quickly, humming happily as I did so. When my pickles were gone I mixed my egg into my rice and dug heartily into it with little sighs feeling my belly fill satisfying the angry beast that was my appetite as well as the small one within who seemed to calm as food filled my belly and more than likely theirs as well.

As my chopsticks hit the bottom of the bowl I lay back further and patted my belly happily. I looked over as a small snicker was let loose and saw that Sesshomaru had just finished his miso and was working on his rice while grinning over at me.

I blushed and gave him a small glare, “What!?”

He shook his head, “I am always amazed to see that you take such enjoyment from food after all these years.”

“And you don't,” I asked curiously with just a hint of defensiveness.

“No not for the longest time; though…I find I am starting to enjoy it once more in your company.”

I blushed and lay my arms across my belly, “I can't imagine I would lose interest in food.”

Sesshomaru smiled and lifted a pickle in his chopsticks and held it out near my mouth. I opened my mouth allowing him to feed me the tasty treat which sent tingles along my tongue and made me grin.

“Older youkai can survive on small meals every so often and usually do just that. I have gone a month or more without food and I could probably go longer without it.”

I swallowed and Sesshomaru handed me a steaming cup of tea which I took and sipped slowly. While I sipped my tea I watched Sesshomaru finish his rice and his eggs and in-between he fed me the rest of his pickles which I ate happily and without fuss.

When we were done eating Sesshomaru piled our dishes on the tray and set it in the receiving room. I heard soft voices and I took advantage of Sesshomaru's absence and stood finding the bedpan and relieved my full and aching bladder. I rinsed my hands in the basin of clean water left out for that purpose and dried my hands on the towel also provided.

I waddled my way through the bedroom and came to the receiving area where I saw Sesshomaru standing with Hade and Hisso, both boys had their arms wrapped around his legs with wide begging eyes as they tugged on his arms.

I took in the scene and couldn't help but laugh out loud catching their attention.

“What is wrong, why do the two of you look so distraught?”

Sesshomaru frowned and then closed his eyes momentarily before sighing and opening his eyes looking down at the boys, “Okay, you can come with us for your ChiChue's present.”

At that I blinked and gave them a confused smile.

“Present?”

Sesshomaru smiled and leaned over lifting both boys into his arms holding one in each arm as he turned to give me a small grin, “Feel up for a bit of a walk?”

I looked down at myself dressed in my under robe and then looked at Sesshomaru seeing that he too was only dressed in his yukata. I was about to answer when I felt the warm weight of a heavy kimono draped over my shoulders. I turned and saw Ryusei's smiling face looking down at me.

“Come on ChiChuei, let us go see your present. Otoosan worked hard to make sure it would be finished in time for your return.”

I shrugged and rubbed my belly and nodded, “Why not, it's not like I have anything else to do.”

I watched as Ryusei opened the door and motioned for Sesshomaru to exit which he did with the twins in his arms as I followed behind them. I heard Ryusei close the door as we walked through the hallway until we came to the stairs. I felt a hand on my elbow helping to steady me as I walked down the stairs and heard Ryusei's soft voice in my ear.

“Be careful, sometimes these stairs are a little slippery in the winter.”

I nodded as I slowly made my way down the stairs. Once we were down on the first floor I watched and followed as Sesshomaru made his way to another set of stairs that I had only seen the servants and guards use. He turned to look back at me and upon seeing us right behind him he proceeded down the second set of stairs. As we walked down the stairs I held tight to Ryusei's arm and stepped slowly and carefully and as I felt my chest heave as the little one within compressed and wiggled putting weight on my lungs and my feet began to ache something awful.

“I promise it's worth the walk, Chichue.”

I nodded and soon we came to the bottom of the stairs, “If there is another set of stairs I am going to have to decline or someone is going to have to carry me.”

As I said it I stretched and tried to work the ache from my back and hips. I noted that the room seemed chilly and yet I could feel a source of heat and humidity coming from the direction in front of us.

Ryusei grinned and patted my arm as we continued on passing by a room that contained many bottles and barrels of what smelled of wine and sake and another room which held barrels of pickles and other foods that needed cold storage and the further we went the warmer it became.

I watched as Sesshomaru stepped inside a curtained off area and as Ryusei stepped aside I entered finding what looked to be small benches complete with taps and wooden buckets, towels and rags in clean piles against the wall in carved out nooks. I glanced farther across the room and saw that in the ground was a carved hot spring complete with a natural spout pouring fresh water into the pool that had been carved into the floor. I was breathless as I looked around the room doing a small circle taking it all in.

“Otoosan said you always seemed to enjoy hot springs on your travels and we have a natural occurring spring beneath the castle so asked his advisors and even human architects if it was a possibility to build such a spring here. And after much research and many a youkai and humans aide this was constructed.”

I felt my chest warm and my eyes became cloudy with unshed tears which I quickly wiped away, “hormones…” I said softly as I watched Sesshomaru give me a small smile as he set Hade and Hisso on the floor.

I helped the boys undress and between Sesshomaru and my self we gave the boys a quick scrub down while Ryusei bathed himself. Ryusei took the boys and lead them into the spring to soak and play and while he did that I found myself working up the courage to undress which I did so slowly, folding my clothes and placing them in one of the empty nooks. I felt awkward with my belly heavy with child and oddly unattractive and yet I felt Sesshomaru's eyes on me and when I turned around I saw that he too had undressed and wrapped a towel around his lower body while I held a larger towel over my belly and lower body.

He gently took my hand and led me to a bench and helped me into a sitting position. I shivered as his hands ghosted over my body and then I felt a warm rag touch my back as he gently began to wash my back and shoulders stopping every so often to explore my back as he did so. He touched the shoulder that had been bandaged when I had first woken up in the back of the troop's wagon and then he touched a different spot a few inches away.

“These are new,” he said softly.

“I was told by Midoriko that I had been shot through the shoulder by an arrow and was struck twice more after the one that pierced me through.”

“You are strong and yet so reckless, you cannot blame me for being afraid when you leave my side.”

I smiled and held the towel closer to my belly, “Yes but one cannot live forever in a cage.”

“I have learned this,” he said softly.

He continued scrubbing and stopped once more at the shoulder where his mating mark stood out for all to see and he gently caressed it causing me to shiver as he did so.

His hands left my body and he pushed the water bucket so that it was in front of me along with a bar of soap and the rag.

“If we were alone I would see to your front as well but alas we are not so I shall leave it to you,” and he gave a small grin as I blushed.

I made quick work of washing the rest of my body and once I was cleaned I pulled my long locks together and then twisted them until they were tight and wrapped them into a large bun atop my head and out of the way. I saw that Sesshomaru had finished washing his front and I cleared my throat so that he looked in my direction.

“If you sit in front of me I'll wash your back and shoulders.”

He nodded and did just as I asked and I washed his broad and muscled back and shoulders and saw my own mark on his shoulder and as I looked at it I did much the same as he had and I traced my teeth marks causing him to shudder lightly and as I looked at the mark a short memory of my mouth on his body and his flesh giving way flashed through my mind. I rinsed his shoulder and he stood and held out both hands, helping me into a standing position.

I waddled with him at my side and was helped into the spring one careful step at a time until the water came up midway over my belly. We came to a shelf that allowed me to sit once more and I leaned back allowing the water to steal the aches and pains from my body and mind.

Hade and Hisso came doggy paddling over to me and both seemed amazed by my large belly and I placed their tiny hands on it and they waited with baited breath and were awarded by a kick here, a stretch there and I pointed out a foot or hand which made their bright golden eyes widen comically.

“You two shared space in there at one time,” I said with a smile.

“We were in there,” asked Hade in awe.

“You were,” I said rubbing my belly as I answered.

“Was your belly this big when we were in there,” asked Hisso softly.

“Oh, it was even bigger,” I said with a laugh.

“Ryusei was in there,” the two asked at the same time looking back at their older brother.

Ryusei and Sesshomaru joined me in laughter and I nodded, “Yes but he was just a tiny baby just like you and two were and this one currently is.”

“And Chiouka too,” asked Hade.

“Chiouka too,” said Sesshomaru with a grin.

“Will it be a girl or a boy,” asked Hisso as he stared mesmerized by the movement under his palm.

“We won't know until he or she is born. Which would you prefer,” I asked out of curiosity.

“A boy,” shouted Hade excitedly.

“It doesn't matter,” said Hisso surprising us all.

“I'll play with the baby even if it's a girl,” and such a soft statement left us all amazed.

“Then I have no worries because this baby will have so many amazing brothers and an amazing sister to look after them,” I said gently caressing both boys cheeks.

“And on that note we should head to bed boys.”

Before either boy could voice their complaints Ryusei cut them off, “And if you dry off properly and dress quickly I'll give you a quick lesson in swordsmanship.”

I chuckled as both boys rushed to the waters edge and climbed up the small stone carved steps out of the spring and ran naked over to the towels.

“They remind me of you,” Sesshomaru said softly as he smiled watching the two of them dry themselves quite messily and yet they did as asked.

“I can see it. I can only imagine I was as rambunctious as they are when I was their age.”

I watched as they skillfully put in their fundoshi and both were helped into their kimono and hakama by Ryusei who had also quickly dressed. When they were fully dressed they called out their farewells before leaving the room.

“We are lucky to have Ryusei. He is an amazing InuYoukai and a great individual,” said Sesshomaru.

“Does he know you think so highly of him,” I asked finding myself snuggling into Sesshomaru's side finding comfort in his arms once more.

“I have said as much, maybe not in as many words,” he replied seriously.

“You should let him know in as many ways and words as possible. It is important that your children know of your love.”

He nodded and leaned over placing a kiss on my head.

“Why is it, Ryusei seems to be unsure on whether to call me Otoochan or ChiChue,” I asked out of curiosity.

“When he was younger he always called you ChiChue. I suppose as he grew up he thought ChiChue was a childs name for ones parent but upon your disappearance he seemed so stressed and he looked it when he thought no one was watching. I was a bit surprised and amused to hear him call you Chichue upon seeing you again. That young man is your son and he holds you in high esteem and so it matters not to me what calls you as long as you are around for him to call,” I nodded and felt Sesshomaru's love and pride for his firstborn and heir.

We sat in the spring until my fingers and toes wrinkled and I when it was time to leave I pouted but did so with Sesshomaru's assistance and once I was dressed in clean maternity kimono and hakama I was lifted into Sesshomaru's arms and carried up not one but two flights of stairs. I rested in bed and when dinner time came I was carried back down the stairs. We ate and talked and little by little memories came back.

At the end of my first week home a mighty snow storm came covered the land in layers of snow deep enough that it came to the twins chests. And as the snow came I felt my child descend and knew it wouldn't be long before we welcomed another member into the InuYoukai clan.

To Be Continued….

I wrote this while sorting through all the songs in my Itunes. Of course I enjoyed writing this song to “Dearest” by Ayumi Hamasaki which was used in InuYasha. Ayumi has such a beautiful voice with amazing lyrics, its amazing to create scenes using her music.

So another chapter done and another to come. Thank you for reading. Here's hoping I'll have another chapter done this week. Today was thanks to being snowed in and an unexpected day off from work. Yay!

Kat