InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dystopian Story of Lovers ❯ Continuum ( Chapter 6 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Continuum
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Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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They were both out of breath when they released each other's lips. Kagome rested her forehead against his before the realization hit her. She had had her boss' tongue in her mouth. No. No. Just a freaking no.
In the meantime she became conscious that she was still straddling him. She scrambled away from his laps clumsily, feeling extremely embarrassed by her involuntary action. She scooted farther away from him, having reached her seat. This could just not be real. Why didn't the gods above take pity on her and strike her dead already?
But wait … Hadn't it been him who had transferred her into his lap? And hadn't he been the one who had initiated the kiss?
Kagome braved herself to steal a glance at him. What met her gaze staggered her a great deal. He was his composed self, totally unaffected. Who had kissed whom actually?
When Kagome only knew how many years of practice this composure had acquired. Sesshoumaru straightened his silk tie and kept his gaze straight. The evidence of his want was inconspicuously and classily hidden.
So who would take the responsibility into either one's hand? Kagome broke the silence first, “I'm sorry. I didn't know what's gotten into me.”
Sesshoumaru froze for a moment. She apologized when it should have been his place to do so. He should feel relief that she took the role of the accountable, but the truth was he resented the word apology ever uttered. Because he just didn't feel damned sorry.
He looked at her long, and finally he nodded.
`Coward,' something inside him spat.
~*~
He might think that she had it all wrong and got confused on her own, that she had apologized because she had muddled up the accountable of the episode, but he was wrong. She had known exactly who had kissed whom. So if nothing came out now from their little incident, then it was only because of the cowardice of both parties.
But sometimes cowardice took a lot of courage too, and sometimes the turnout of the coward act might not be so bad eventually. She had at least positioned herself in a place where she wouldn't be hurt, yet.
~*~
Kagome examined a 5cm long duckling. It supposed to project disco light when touched or placed in water. She touched the sensors on the base of the duck and giggled when it started a sequence of light in various colors.
Kagome was wearing a white short flutter-sleeved button through playsuit with its bloomers reaching to the mid-thigh. Her hair was french-braided with slight wisps of soft tresses teasing the frame of her face. A pair of natural canvas peep toe wedges adorned her small feet; her hand was dangling a cute cargo tote. She was the picture perfect of a sexy and innocent spring sprite.
Warm breath breezed across the side of her naked nape. “Mini Disco Ducks?” Inuyasha emerged behind her, leaning his tall frame towards her and resting his head on her shoulder-blade.
Kagome nodded and turned towards him. She caught him closing his eyes and slightly inhaling her scent. She immediately pushed his head away.
He tried to quell his disappointment and smiled nonchalantly at her. “Here, I take those.” He snatched the pack of the disco ducks from her hand and put it in the basket.
They were at a store called `DIGS' where it sold a variety of interesting gadgets and gizmos. It was Sunday, and they were in the middle of their morning shopping get-together. Inuyasha had called her last night and had asked her to come along with him looking for a household gadget he had meant to buy. Having nothing to do on Sunday, Kagome had agreed to accompany him.
Kagome took a peek at the basket and grinned as she snatched a pack of tattoo sleeves. “What's this?” She grinned from ear to ear.
Inuyasha seized the packet back and threw it back in the basket, scowling at her.
“What else did you get?” Kagome leaned forward to look at the rest of the items in the basket. She held up a Leatherman Squirt S4 Multitool and examined it for a moment.
“Why'd you need this when you have nails?” she asked him puzzlingly.
“What!?” Inuyasha widened his eyes at her.
“You have perfectly usable nails since you're a han—” Kagome didn't get to finish her sentence as his hand suddenly was brought up to cover her mouth.
“Come with me for a sec.” Inuyasha dragged her to the back of the store. He sniffed to detect if there was any presence in the close proximity, and after finding none, he returned his attention to the rounded eyes in front of him.
“How would you know?” Inuyasha asked her growlingly.
Kagome shook her head from left to right in rapid motion. She looked down to the hand covering her mouth.
Inuyasha cursed and brought down his hand.
“I just know,” Kagome answered him with frightened eyes.
“And what about Sesshoumaru, did you know?” Kagome nodded. “Was he the one who told you?” Inuyasha pressed her.
“No,” Kagome answered him a bit disgruntled, feeling tired of the interrogation. “Look, I know how to detect youkai traits, okay? Don't ask me how or who thought me to, because it's none of your business. And one more thing, you needn't get freaked out that I'm going to tell people around you that underneath it all you have this freaking long silver hair to die for and cute furry dog-ears.”
Inuyasha contemplated her explanation for a moment, and then he narrowed his eyes at her. “Now that you know, you won't do something as foolish as to rub my ears, will you?”
Kagome gave him a bored look indicating a silent `as-if'. “Please as if they're so cute that they're just irresisti—” Kagome squealed when he dropped his concealing spell and revealed two most absolutely rub-able soft-furred ears.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes as she was looking at him pleadingly, unable to keep her fingers still. “Go ahead,” he muttered gruffly and leaned his head towards her.
He closed eyes when he felt her soft hand closing on each ears, the tip of her fingers rubbing the silky texture of the appendix tenderly. The ministration was suddenly cut short by the ring of her cell phone.
Kagome reached inside her tote and fished out her mobile. She looked startlingly at the ID flashing on the screen.
Inuyasha opened his eyes, annoyed at the interruption. He raised his brow when he glimpsed at her expensive design cell phone.
“Hello, Mr. Inoue, Sir.” Kagome slipped under Inuyasha's arm and headed towards the exit of the store.
Inuyasha followed her. When he reached her, the phone conversation was already finished.
“What does he want?” Inuyasha asked her with hardly contained curiosity.
Kagome was still looking at her cell phone stupendously. She looked at Inuyasha in surprise as if she had just noticed him there and answered him in a quizzical tone. “He wanted me to pack my things and move out of my apartment.” She shook her head as the sentence made absolutely no sense at all once she repeated it.
Inuyasha comprehended completely. Sesshoumaru was in the process of staking his claim.
“Where did you get the phone?” Inuyasha asked her suddenly.
“This?” Kagome pointed at her mobile in question, “He gave it to me, said every one of his staff owns it.”
“Kagome, this is a seriously expensive phone. Do you think our coworkers toting around such gadget on the expense of the company? Even executives carry around less expensive cell phone than yours.”
Kagome looked at him funnily. “So what is it that you're saying? That your half-brother accessorizes me as means of a debauchery?” Kagome said the latter part sarcastically.
“I'm not saying anything.” Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at her. “But if you truly can't see it or understand it then you're really stupid.”
Kagome opened her mouth and then closed it again. She walked off from him in anger.
“Perhaps you don't wanna see it. This seemed to be the case here, and I almost respected you for being independent,” Inuyasha snorted as he followed closely behind her.
Kagome spun around and blazed into his eyes. “What right do you have to judge anyone? Who are you? And why do you even care?” she asked him hotly.
Inuyasha ignored her questions and pressed intensely on the case. “Or would you rather call them gifts? A gift from a friend who's trying to buy you? Do you truly believe that the company reserves budget for dress-shopping? I'm trying to make you see, you stupid girl, that nothing comes for free.”
She had heard this before; many, many times before; countless of times before, but the effect of hearing it still hurt her. “You're right,” she murmured weakly, “that's exactly what I am. Even if I get out of it, I will fall into the same pattern over and over again, but I wanted to believe that he's just trying to be nice.” Teardrops were dangling from her lashes before the pressure of the flood pushed them down. The sight of it made Inuyasha feel weak all of a sudden.
Inuyasha pulled her into his embrace. He barely understood her pain, her tears, even couldn't comprehend why her pain should have a reflecting effect on him, but it did. So he whispered to her hair soothingly, “The thing is you'll never be able to figure Sesshoumaru out, but I know damn sure that he would kill himself before he would do something dishonorable. So perhaps you're right. Perhaps he's just trying to be uncharacteristically nice.”
“But why?” Kagome muffled out the question that had been bothering her these last few days ever since Sesshoumaru had kissed her.
He was not the only one who knew the answer to that question, and yet he knew that he should be the one answering it, but cowardice held him back. In a way, a coward act was a path bearer for fate in life.
~*~
“I'm comfortable in my apartment, and it's fairly commutable to the office, being near to the station.” She shouldn't really stutter like that, but it was kind of hard not to when her words came rushing out of her.
It was Monday.
Sesshoumaru was looking at her with a bored expression on his face. “You told me before that strangers broke into your place, demolished your possessions. You've even gotten thrown away from your apartment. I am merely trying to protect my employee's welfare. Is there anything wrong with that?”
“Do you think Kahara Misako will stop there? One thing I know about her is that she won't stop until she destroys you completely,” Sesshoumaru continued relentlessly, “Or are your objections based on something else entirely? Do you think that I'm helping you out of personal sentiment?”
“No, of course not,” Kagome answered him in a confused voice, “but I just can't move out like that.”
“The new apartment is already furnished and paid for. All you need to do is to move your personal belongings inside. Packers will be at your apartment tonight to transfer your belongings to your new apartment. You have packed, I assume?” Giving her no time to think and object, he looked at her with intimidation.
Kagome shook her head slowly.
“You may take the rest of the day off to pack, Miss Higurashi.” He nodded at her, indicating that the conversation was over, and turned his attention towards the screen of his power book.
Kagome left the office feeling as if she had forgotten to do something. She shook her head to clear up her cluttered thoughts and failed to do so, so she resumed doing as ordered.
~*~
It was really a wonderful apartment, an apartment with those extra rooms that would never be properly used or filled, but apparently the decorator had thought out to the last detail as she took the burden of furnishing properly from Kagome's shoulder. It was an excellent apartment because she even had a parlor and rooms with color themes. As she wandered through the high ceiling rooms, she felt as if something just wasn't right, something that a fashionable chaise lounge couldn't fix. She could almost see her sense of individuality went down the modern drain.
~*~
“Take them back,” Kagome spoke almost desperately to the packers, “Take them back to my old apartment, please.”
“Miss?” one of the men asked in a confused tone, “We have specific order to help you unpack your things here in the apartment.”
“I change my mind,” Kagome said rapidly. “I just need to go back, please …” she pleaded once more.
She needed to get out of the apartment fast before the temptation became too irresistible to deny. She was almost out of the door when she crashed into a hard chest of Sesshoumaru.
Kagome looked up at him with rounded eyes. She released the lapels of his suit that she had unconsciously grasped to steady herself against the impact of the crash.
“Put them down and leave,” Sesshoumaru ordered the team of the packers while he was still holding her eyes in a hard stare.
He advanced towards her, and Kagome suddenly felt unidentified fear creeping inside her.
“You're afraid, why?” He moved closer yet to her. Unbeknownst to Kagome, she had backed up against a wall.
“Why?” he persisted, moving so close that they almost touched.
Kagome brought both her hands up and pushed feebly against his chest. “Look, I'm not a demon, okay? So I don't have an extraordinary perception of smell, and you're moving so close to me frightens me when I can't seem to read your action.”
“It's clear you're not,” Sesshoumaru stated.
“I'm not what?” Kagome was loosing the trail of the conversation when he refused to budge.
“A demon, you're not.”
“Why are we having this conversation?” Kagome shook her head helplessly. “I swear sometimes you're just trying to make me stupid with your redundant replies.”
When she only looked up, then she would see a soft trace of smile lingering on his expression, yet when she finally did look up, his face as well as his gaze remained impassive as ever.
“I can't live here,” she whispered desperately. “This is not me. I'll be afraid to touch anything in this place.”
“Is this too fine for you?” Sesshoumaru asked in a bored tone.
“No,” Kagome negated firmly. “They're just not mine.”
“Is renting possessing?” Sesshoumaru asked her.
Knowing exactly where this conversation was heading, Kagome crossed her arms in front of her in a defiant stance and answered him, “No, but to pay a rent with my own money gives me the fulfillment of confidence in my life.”
“Your money?” Sesshoumaru lifted his brow in question.
“Money, I earned working,” Kagome gritted out. “Why are you so persistent about this? If you meant this as protection, I should now tell you that I can take care of myself.”
“You'll stay or you'll go,” Sesshoumaru stated simply, “But if you go, you will quit your job and the country.”
Kagome looked at him in disbelief. “You can't be serious …” But indeed he was always serious. She started again, “You can't just make me —”
“I can,” Sesshoumaru interrupted her, “You know who I am. As shallow as it is, power and money do make the world go around.”
A different kind of fear entered her presence of mind. Amidst it all she was confused. Why did everything suddenly turn obscure?
Sesshoumaru didn't understand it himself, where all these base sentiments came from. He never threatened anyone behind empty words; if ever, then it was merely a warning of what about to come.
Sometimes one must not forget what five hundred years of loneliness can do to you.
~*~
She couldn't sleep. Feeling as if once more entangled in a life that not her own and erratic pattern of destiny that she couldn't control, she wondered why she had surrendered so easily. Was there not something that she could do? Could she not have fought more? And yet there was a small part of her that secretly wanted this.
~*~
And then there was the everyday routine, where she worked for him Monday to Friday from nine to five.
As if nothing had occurred between them, Sesshoumaru handed her a card. His manner was cold and unreadable.
“A Charity Ball?” Kagome opened the invitation card he had handed to her. “And I should come along?”
“As my p.a., you must,” Sesshoumaru kept his attention to the power book's screen before him. “Be ready at eight tonight.”
Kagome looked briefly at him and sighed. “Yes, Sir.”
~*~
Hundred pairs of eyes were trained furtively on their every move. Inuyasha wondered when such parties like this had lost their magical touches when every fairy tales still beautified their allusion of prominence.
He missed her tonight. It was already three days since he had last seen her. Every time he came to pick her up for lunch, her desk was always empty, and Sesshoumaru wasn't in his office either. He put two and two together, and for the very first time in his life he truly regretted his stupidity.
What if in the end she would be hurt from his planned encounter. Would she be able to handle it? Would he himself be able to handle it? He didn't know what it was, but to imagine her hurting almost killed him.
He was staring intently into his cocktail glass when two slender hands covered both his eyes. Inuyasha stood there frozen. Suddenly all his emotions were surging up, assaulting his senses, by just her nearness. If he had any sense of awareness at all, he would admit to himself and to her that now and there he was falling —
“It's me!” Kagome moved her hands away from his eyes and came up beside him. She gave him a quick hug and smiled brightly at him. “I miss you,” she said with a teasing pout.
And he could only stand there, looking at her like he had never seen her before, and felt this heartache that was never there before.
“What's wrong?” Kagome frowned when she noticed the mix expression on his face. “Are you feeling alright?” She put the back of her hand against his forehead to feel his body temperature.
“You look beautiful,” he could only say the one thing that he had wanted to say for a long time.
“Thank you.” Kagome smiled softly at him.
She did look beautiful. Clothed in a soft blue-gray pleated silk chiffon strapless dress that fell softly above her knees, with skinny self-tie and boning on bust, her hair was fashioned in a Greek goddess style updo with the front held back by a black two-strip band.
“Must be the sandals,” she whispered to him, pointing at the soft gold thin-strap leather sandals with 100mm heel, fastened at her ankles. “They make me look taller,” she said sheepishly.
Inuyasha smiled. “Yeah, must be the sandals,” he replied teasingly, and yet his eyes held such a confused sad expression in them.
Kagome laughed and passed him a weak slap on his arm. “I was merely fishing for more compliment, you dope.”
“Your earrings look nice.” Catching on with the game, Inuyasha nodded at her droplet earrings with milky quartz pendants.
Kagome crossed her arms in an annoyed posture; her slender fingers ticked softly against her arm.
“And by the way, can I borrow your purse next time?” Inuyasha batted his eyelids prettily and asked her in a high-pitch voice.
Kagome burst out laughing. “It's called bracelet pochette, silly.”
“Practical,” Inuyasha commented, rolling his eyes. “Pity they don't make watch pochette.”
She laughed again and took his arm in hers. “So, where's your fiancé?”
Inuyasha shrugged as he answered her. “We don't go to these kinds of events together.”
“Why not?”
“It's awkward.” Desperately trying to change the subject, he looked around to find her companion. “Did you come alone tonight?”
Kagome nodded. “The boss told me he'd catch up in an hour or so, but he was so nice to send his limo for me.”
Kagome then turned to him. “So you're my date for the night.”
“If I must,” Inuyasha replied in a mock heavy tone.
Kagome pinched his arm. “That's not a way to treat a beautiful lady, ogre!”
“By the way, you look stunning in that tux,” Kagome commented with praising eyes.
Inuyasha coughed to hide his embarrassment and put his arm around her as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Gome.”
“Don't call me that,” Kagome protested while prying his arm away from her, “it makes me sound like a bear.”
Inuyasha laughed and ignored her futile objection as he kept a firm, possessive grip around her.
“Finally find yourself a girl who can tolerate you, mutt?” a voice called out snidely from behind them.
Inuyasha stifled a growl when he recognized the stench of the speaker behind them. Feeling a stiffened reaction from the girl next to him, Inuyasha suddenly realized that Kagome's body temperature had dropped rapidly.
The man behind them sniffed and called out in a shocked voice, “Kagome?”
Kagome turned slowly to face the speaker. Her beautiful face looked dangerously pale.
“Kagome?” the man whispered her name in disbelief.
Inuyasha looked back and forth at her and the wolf. He was overwhelmed by the sudden change of emotions between the two of them. He could feel her trembling, but when he tried to put his arms around her to soothe her, she just froze right there and then instead of trying to shake off his hold like she would usually do.
The wolf growled at him, and Inuyasha growled back. Then he suddenly realized how feral the wolf's growl had sounded and turned his attention at his long time enemy.
Eventually he understood. So this was the reason why Kouga had disappeared from his circle for about five years. This was the reason why the world was small and he forever would be just a small part of it, existing insignificantly. At least that was how he felt now.
Our hanyou's only crime was to realize what he wanted a little too late.
~*~
What would you do if you unexpectedly meet your ex in a party? A lot of magazines had covered this topic multiple of times. A few of them suggested how to behave and what to do. Did they part in a good way or bad? If ever there was a good way to part then why would lovers be apart?
To be exact; what would you do when you unexpectedly meet your ex in a party as the vision of him standing before you brought up memory of you gradually realizing his disappearance by feeling as if a part of you was wrenched out in a very slow process?
It was difficult to part, yet to meet again was like an out of body experience.
~*~
He barely touched her. They sat across each other so near, inhaling each other's presence, but the feel of it was foreign.
Kagome rubbed her arms, willing the sense of vulnerability to leave her body, but instead of obeying her command, the feeling stayed and tingled through her entire being, sensitizing her skin.
Kouga sat at the edge of the stool. His elbows on his knees supported his leaning upper body. He looked up at her. His eyes looked so sad and tired that she just wanted to climb on his lap and comfort him.
“How are you?” he finally spoke.
“I'm doing okay,” Kagome answered him as she sank her head down, “and you?”
Kouga took one of her hands and examined it for a moment, and then he brought it up to his face and closed it with both his hands, inhaling it deeply before he kissed it.
“Kouga …” Kagome whispered sadly.
“I feel like I'm dying,” Kouga looked up at her, revealing his inner emotion, sheen of moisture covering his eyes.
“You're married.” It was a statement. She had not meant it as an accusation or revelation, but he looked at her, hurt, as if she had slapped him across his cheek.
“Kagome …” he whispered pleadingly, his hands tightening on hers.
Kagome shook her head even though she didn't really know what he was asking from her. “We shouldn't be seen like this,” she whispered rapidly, suddenly feeling terribly frightened.
“Why did you give it all back?” Kouga asked her out of the blue, “Everything I gave you. Was it so unbearable to keep them?”
“I don't feel like I own them, not after you left,” Kagome tried to explain, but Kouga was past hearing her as he continued.
“I didn't buy those things because I wanted something from you in return. I just wanted to take care of you, Kagome.”
“I know. I truly do.” She sighed. Sometimes it was just so hard to contradict him. “But still, in the end, I can't accept them, you know that.”
“No, I don't,” Kouga shook his head. A sense of desperation overcame him. “I still want to come home to you …”
“Don't say that,” Kagome's eyes widened as she warned in a fearful voice.
There was a reason for her apprehensive behavior. She had used to hang on to his every word, looking up to him as if he had been truly the only one who had had answers in the world for her. But after he had left, she realized that they both had been just two lost children in this world, restricted forever by convention. Now as unnecessary as the feeling was, she felt a sense of mistrust towards him replacing the obsessive adoration.
“I'm trying very hard, Kouga,” she whispered to him earnestly, “So hard to convince myself that what we did wasn't wrong despite what others told me. Please don't prove me wrong.”
“Who did?” Kouga asked her confused.
“You know who, Kouga. Please don't make me say her name,” Kagome pleaded.
His eyes widened with the new revelation. “She promised me! She promised me that she wouldn't touch you!” Kouga gritted out in anger.
“Your mother was only trying to protect you,” Kagome tried to placate his anger when, in fact, she herself didn't believe a word she had said.
“Protect me!?” Kouga let out a sinister laugh. “She protected me alright, protected me that I had to spend three months in the hospital.”
“What are you saying!?” Kagome asked him in panic.
“The only way she could stop me from seeing you was to cripple me, and when that didn't work, she threatened to hurt you. Can't you see that it was the only reason why I agreed to —” he couldn't continue his sentence. It was as if he had suffered too much for nothing.
How could she have believed he had suffered less? How could she have not seen that he would have done anything for her? She had for a moment forgotten what it had been like to be loved by him. Had it been a few years earlier she might not have been able to take it, too frightened of the fierce, absolute emotion, but now when everything was over, she knew finally what she had to do.
He got up from his chair and knelt down before her. His hands were gripping hers desperately. “All these months, all I could think of was how I can get back to you. We should be together. We deserve to be together.”
Were these the words she had dreamt of? The truth was she had been left alone to close the wound while he might never have closed his own. So, in the end, she had to be the one who fixed this imbalance.
“We can't,” at first the words were so hard to let out. Kouga kept shaking his head, refusing to hear more. “We can't, Kouga. You're married.”
“It doesn't matter!” he still persisted, not even realizing what he was saying.
“She has to matter!” Kagome reminded him harshly, “She's your mate. It's a sacred bond that binds the two of you through life and death. She might be feeling what you're feeling right now, have you ever thought of that? Do we really want to hurt more people?”
The force of each word was cutting through his heart. He looked up at her in disbelief. Even though he felt betrayed by her words, his expression indicated a heavy acceptance. He nodded tremblingly. “So this is it then? You don't want me?”
And she could take only as much. “Oh Kouga …” She shook her head as the dam began to break. “You know —,” she stuttered, “That I —” It wasn't fair; she wasn't supposed to be the one who had to send away her love when she wanted so much to keep him forever. She got up and ran.
~*~
He never felt this terrible before. It was so vile he almost felt the nausea choking his throat. He was touching her. That dirty wolf demon touched her, defiling her skin with his sullied hide.
“Why is he fucking touching her!?” Inuyasha voiced his half-brother's sentiment loudly, but the difference was that Inuyasha wasn't trembling, holding himself back from this most perverse anger.
Inuyasha felt rather than saw Sesshoumaru's trembling. Sesshoumaru was at a time where he couldn't mask his emotion anymore. His face was pale, and his crimson eyes glared threateningly.
“Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha called out to him. He was about to touch him when he suddenly realized that it was wiser not to as his hand froze in the air.
He turned towards Inuyasha, the fury blatantly unmasked, making the hanyou stepped back in surprise.
Then he saw her running out of the room. He followed her.
~*~
He found her crying brokenly in a dark corner. This sight should have evoked pity in him, but instead it only fed his fury. He advanced towards her, not knowing what he himself would do when he got to her.
He stood toweringly in front of her, and when he was about to grasp her arm, did she only realize that he was there.
“Don't touch me!” she cried out in the midst of her tears, “Just please, I can't bear to have anyone touch me.”
So he didn't. Instead he placed both his hands on the wall, trapping her between his arms, shaking, and waited until the fury pacified under his skin.
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*end of chapter*
AN: please do review. Thank you.