InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Elemental: A Feudal Soap Opera ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 2 )

Kagome sat and stared out of the open doorway as the first rays of sunlight began to steal over the horizon. She had been unable to sleep after...after...don't think about it, Kagome...and had spent the rest of the night making sure that no evidence remained, taking care of Inuyasha, and mentally beating herself up. His fever had broken just a short time before, and she finally felt the terrible fear for his safety receding. He would be reverting hack to his normal hanyou self soon, which meant he'd be waking up, too. Kagome was glad for it, because she wanted him to heal, but she also dreaded it, right down to her core. She was afraid he would remember--remember, and hate her. She was terrified, and it didn't help matters that she had belatedly remembered something that she should have been thinking of from the very beginning. Sex makes babies. I'm such an idiot. What if she were pregnant? What if, instead of simply betraying Inuyasha's friendship by taking advantage of him when he was helpless, she also carried his child without his consent? Kagome thought she might be sick, so deep was her shame.

 

I had no right to do that. No right at all. She closed her eyes as the heat from the morning sun began to smooth the chillbumps from her skin. It warmed her, but did nothing to get rid of the cold knot of fear deep inside her, nor did it help the lingering soreness she felt. She blushed deeply, remembering vividly how she had become sore in the first place. My virginity. Was Inuyasha a virgin? Did I take that from him, too? The thought made her feel even worse. However, as ashamed as her actions made her feel, she felt even more shame that she could summon no actual regret. She knew she had been wrong, but also knew that she would do it again in a heartbeat. Inuyasha had seemed so happy, and she had been able to pretend, if only for a moment, that the possessive passion in Inuyasha's eyes had been for her. She was ashamed, but she could not find it in her to be sorry. It had been messy and hurt a little more than she had expected, but she had enjoyed the kissing part, and it had still been one of the most bittersweet moments of her life. In fact, she would hold the memory of it until she died--which might be sooner than expected, if he remembered. Even if he didn't kill her, she'd die of embarrassment.

 

She became so lost in thought from imagining that particularly mortifying scenario that she didn't hear the sound of movement behind her.

 

“Kagome,” came an all-too-familiar, husky voice.

 

Her eyes flew open and she had to stifle an undignified shriek. “Inuyasha! You startled me,” she said, peering up at him, a blush staining her cheeks. She began speaking quickly to cover her frayed nerves. “How do you feel? Better? You were pretty sick last night.”

 

“Feh,” he grumbled, shooting her a half-hearted glare. He didn't seem to be paying her much attention. Suddenly, his nose began to twitch, and he leapt nimbly over her to look out the doorway. Apparently seeing nothing to attract his notice, he rounded on her, leaning down and sniffing at her.

 

Kagome drew back in alarm. Surely he couldn't tell what they had done, could he? The thought made her blush spread from her ears to the tips of her toes. Calm down, Kagome. She had taken great pains to wash any evidence of their encounter from both of them after he had passed out. There was still blood on the pallet, but it was mingled with his, and she couldn't do anything about it. But still, she had been very careful. Surely, even his doggie nose won't pick up anything. “What are you doing, Inuyasha?” she asked, trying to sound suitably offended.

 

Inuyasha sat back on his heels, regarding her with hooded eyes. “Are you all right?” he asked.

 

Kagome laughed nervously, and looked away from him. “Sure. Why wouldn't I be? I wasn't the one hurt.” she stood and began tidying up the small shack, picking up the toweling by his pallet. Inuyasha's nose twitched again, but he said nothing. She turned and smiled brightly at him. “I'm just a bit tired is all. You were an impatient patient.”

 

As she had expected, he snarled at her. “Well, who asked you to take care of me, anyway?” He glared at her for a moment, but then rubbed a clawed hand over his face. “Sorry,” he said quietly, surprising her with the apology.

 

Her temper flared, but she tamped it down when he apologized. He looked tired. He nearly died last night, and I'm provoking him. Nice job, Kagome. She felt guilt wash over her and turned away, unable to meet his eyes.

 

“Kagome,” he said from behind her, sounding unsure of himself.

 

“It's alright, Inuyasha. I didn't mind. I'm just glad you're okay. You had me worried.” Her voice broke on the last sentence, so she shut up and began gathering up the rest of their things. Inuyasha, thankfully, was also silent. When she was finished, she took a deep breath and gave him her attention. “If you're feeling better, then we should eat and go back to the others. They are probably pretty worried by now.” She didn't wait for a reply, but began preparing two cups of ramen. “After all, we did just go running off without notice.” She regretted the words as soon as she said them. Kikyo was not a subject she wanted to discuss right now.

 

Obviously, Inuyasha didn't, either, for he said nothing. Kagome finished the ramen, then handed him a cup before sitting down with her own. Inuyasha ate silently, not even looking at her. She was beginning to feel desperate for him to say something, anything, to dispel the tension. Does he remember or not?

 

“Inuyasha?”

 

He turned to her, raising an eyebrow in question, but still not speaking. Her mouth felt dry as sandpaper. Dos he know? He began to look impatient, and Kagome wondered if she was going to be sick. She took a deep breath and met his eyes, but couldn't make her vocal cords work. She had no idea what to say to him. Does he remember? If he does, does he hate me? Is this what it's going to be like with us from now on? Me afraid to speak, and him not speaking? She could feel her eyes filling with tears, and quickly dropped her gaze, praying that he had not seen.

 

“Kagome?”

 

He doesn't remember. Does he? The stress was just too much for her. She felt her composure slipping away.

 

“Wench! What's wrong with you?”

 

Self-loathing filled her as she suddenly realized that on some level she had *wanted* him to remember. She had wanted to think that he really had been claiming *her* last night. She had wanted to force him to choose. But he doesn't remember, does he? He probably thinks he dreamed about Kikyo. That's how I wanted it. Wasn't it? No...I'm lying to myself. I am a fool. Her tears disappeared as her self-loathing turned to anger, directed at herself, at Kikyo, and even Inuyasha. I'm glad he doesn't remember. I'm glad he doesn't know what a fool I've been. She imagined him telling her, again, how she couldn't compare to Kikyo.

 

The rest of her control shattered.

 

***

 

Inuyasha knew something was wrong. The smell of Kagome's fear had jerked him awake as soon as his demon senses had returned to him with the sunrise. His eyes had immediately sought her upon opening, finding her sitting in the doorway of a shack he didn't recognize, her back to him. She didn't seem to be in any danger, but he had swiftly gotten dressed, ignoring the now healing wound on his side, before moving to stand behind her. She didn't notice him.

 

“Kagome,” he called quietly, not wanting to startle her. She jumped anyway, crying out and whirling to face him. Seeing her eyes reinforced what his sensitive nose was already telling him. Kagome was afraid.

 

She said something to him about his being sick the night before, but he only listened with half of his attention. He was too busy seeking the source of her fear. He moved around her to peer outside, but he could see no threat. He briefly wondered if she were still frightened from the battle the day before, but it just didn't make sense. The scent of her fear was strong and fresh. Besides, Kagome didn't scare that easily. If she'd had any leftover emotion from the battle, it would most likely be hurt and disappointment in Inuyasha for following Kikyo and getting them into the mess to begin with. He winced inwardly. I didn't do it to hurt her feelings. I just had to see what Kikyo was up to. Trouble seems to follow the miko wherever she goes--and so does Naraku. I wish Kagome would understand. He turned back to ask her what was the matter when he caught another scent just below her fear. Blood. Her blood. He leaned down to sniff at her, but it didn't seem to be coming from her person. What the hell? She wasn't injured!

 

She pulled back from him, looking even more alarmed than before. “What are you doing, Inuyasha?” She wouldn't meet his eyes, but her voice sounded angry.

 

He sat back and looked at her for a moment. It was clear to him that she was still afraid, just as it was becoming clear that she didn't want him to know she was afraid. This can't be about Kikyo--can it? Why would it make her afraid? And where did the blood come from? What the fuck is going on here? “Are you alright?” he asked her finally.

 

Kagome laughed lightly and turned away from him. “Sure. Why wouldn't I be? I wasn't the one hurt,” she replied before beginning to pick up their things. When she got to the pile of rags by his pallet, his nose twitched involuntarily. There it is again--the smell of Kagome's blood. It's strongest where I slept. This confused the hanyou even more. He felt like he should know something, but just couldn't put his finger on it. The feeling was making him uncomfortable, and being uncomfortable made Inuyasha cranky. He watched her intently, searching for signs of an injury, irritation growing.

 

Kagome turned back to him, giving him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. “I'm just a bit tired is all. You were an impatient patient.”

 

She's lying to me. He felt a snarl leave his throat. “Well, who asked you to take care of me, anyway,” he ground out, shooting her a glare. Her mouth tightened in anger, but she said nothing, and her face was pale. He felt shame almost instantly. He rubbed his face, trying to stave off the headache that was rapidly forming. “Sorry,” he said, quietly.

 

She looked at him in silence for a moment, then turned away.

 

Inuyasha floundered. Me and my big mouth. Now she won't even look at me. “Kagome,” he said, hoping she would talk to him.

 

She kept her back to him. “It's alright, Inuyasha. I didn't mind. I'm just glad you're okay. You had me worried.” She sounded like she was about to cry. He sent up a desperate prayer to whoever was listening that she wouldn't. He became a complete idiot when she cried. He never knew what to do or say. Thankfully, she pulled herself together, finishing packing everything away. “If you're feeling better, then we should eat and go back to the others. They are probably pretty worried by now,” she said, finally, beginning to prepare their breakfast without waiting for his answer. “After all, we did just go running off without notice.”

 

Damn it. I knew she was going to bring that up. He stole a glance at her, but she wasn't looking at him. He remained silent, not wanting to get into an argument with her. She finished the ramen, and handed him a cup. He was happy to have something to occupy himself with. The silence between them was becoming uncomfortable.

 

He was nearly done eating when she finally spoke. “Inuyasha,” she said, voice nearly too quiet to hear.

 

He turned to her and waited for her to continue, hoping that she was about to tell him what had her so scared. Hoping that she wasn't about to bring up Kikyo. She stared at him for a long moment, starting to speak several times but never quite getting the words out. Finally, she gave up, dropping her gaze, but not before he noticed the tears forming in her eyes. What the hell is wrong, Kagome? Why won't you tell me? He felt hurt at the thought that she was keeping something from him. “Kagome,” he called softly, trying to encourage her to talk to him.

 

She remained silent, the distress she was emanating nearly palpable. Inuyasha began to be afraid himself. What could have her this upset? When he spoke, his voice was harsher than he had intended it to be. “Wench! What's wrong with you?”

 

He saw her hands slowly clench into fists, and then she finally looked at him. Oh, shit. The smell of fear had quickly shifted, becoming the unmistakable smell of anger. Oh yeah, she's pissed. Inuyasha knew what came next, if the venom behind the glare she was giving him was any indication. “Uh, Kagome,” he said placatingly. Oh yes, he knew what was coming.

 

Kagome took a deep breath. “Inuyasha, sit!”

 

Inuyasha, meet floor. Again.

 

“Bitch...,” he began, unable to control his irritation at being painfully slammed to the ground, but he cut himself off as a horrible thought struck him. Kagome's fear, the blood, the way she wouldn't look at him, her anger...was it for him? Had he hurt her while consumed with fever? He had a sudden flash of memory that fled too quickly to grasp, but it was enough to leave him cold. He was silent as she stormed out of the shack.