InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Elemental: A Feudal Soap Opera ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

Kagome snuggled deeper into her sleeping bag, trying to get some rest. They would have to wake up early in order to finish the journey back to Kaede's. Inuyasha had said he wanted to be there before noon, and he would be difficult to deal with if they didn't live up to his expectations. The gods knew she had enough difficulty dealing with him when she did live up to his expectations. She sighed and shifted again, unable to get comfortable. Much of her tension had disappeared after talking to Inuyasha and realizing that he didn't remember anything, but, for some reason, she just couldn't relax enough to go to sleep. Her mind kept replaying scenes from the night of his fever--Inuyasha kissing her, Inuyasha touching her, Inuyasha above her with his hair falling around her like a midnight curtain...Inuyasha making love to her. She groaned and flopped over onto her stomach.

 

Making love...that's not quite right, is it? She gave a little shiver that had nothing to do with the autumn night's chill. Making love is a bit of an understatement. What Inuyasha did was...was... She frowned. She didn't know exactly how to describe it, but it had felt more like a claiming, an act of possession, than simple copulation. It had hurt at first, a great deal, but after...

 

After, it had been overwhelming--both wonderful and terrifying all at once. She had felt as if he was consuming her. From the moment Inuyasha had locked his mouth to hers and begun to move within her, she had been lost. She shivered again at the memory, then frowned.

 

Idiot. He wasn't claiming you. He was claiming Kikyo. He was making love to Kikyo. Always Kikyo.

 

Kagome felt a blast of jealousy so strong that it made her nauseous. Kikyo had first claim to everything--this era, Inuyasha's heart, even Kagome's soul. It just wasn't fair. Why did I have to fall in love with a guy I could never have? Better yet, why does Inuyasha have to be so stuck on Kikyo? She betrayed him. I know she was tricked, but still...how could she do that? Why does he still love her?

 

Why can't he love me?

 

Her mind was quick to supply the answer.

 

Because you're not Kikyo. It's very simple. No use acting like the wronged party here...you knew before you touched him, and you did it anyway. You lied to yourself, and here you are. Selfish, selfish Kagome.

 

Kagome's guilt came rushing back with a vengeance, pushing her jealousy, and any thought of sleep, away.

 

“Stop it,” she thought, with the vague concern that she was beginning to argue with herself entirely too much. Is that a sign of insanity? She impatiently pushed the irrelevent thought away to return to her original worry. Why can't I stop thinking about it? He doesn't remember. There's no real harm done. And as long has he doesn't remember, I don't have to worry about it, right? I can just pretend it never happened. I have to.

 

Satisfied that it was settled as well as it could be for the moment, she got comfortable once again and closed her eyes. She had nearly dozed off when the little voice in her head decided it had one last thing to say.

 

The fact that he doesn't remember won't matter much if you're carrying his baby, now will it? It'll be pretty obvious then. Forgot about that, didn't you?

 

Kagome's eyes slammed open. If you're pregnant, you'll have to tell him. You'll have to explain to him. You'll have to see the look of disgust on his face...

 

You'll have to watch him turn his back and walk away from you forever, and you'll deserve it.

 

Kagome's breath caught painfully.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

She nearly jumped out of her skin. Gaining her composure with some difficulty, she turned to look into the tree above her where Inuyasha had perched for the night. He was peering down at her now with a disgruntled look. “I'm fine.”

 

Inuyasha grunted. “Good. Go to sleep, then. I can't think with all of your tossing and turning.”

 

Kagome made a small sound of aggravation and rolled over, determined to put Inuyasha out of her mind for the evening.

 

Determination, she soon discovered, didn't mean squat when it came to putting Inuyasha out of her mind. It was over an hour before she finally went to sleep.

 

***

 

It's about damn time. Inuyasha could finally detect the steady rise and fall of the lump under the sleeping bag that was Kagome. I was starting to think that she'd never go to sleep. He had a sick feeling that her restlessness was due to the night before, and it was eating at him that he didn't know what had happened. “Feh,” he muttered, determined to put her out of his mind. He settled against the trunk of the tree, but it was no use. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see her flinching away from him just like she had earlier. This is pissing me off. If I just knew what I did, I could apologize, and we could stop this bullshit.

 

He began to put effort into trying to reconstruct everything that had happened after they had fought the youkai and he had been dragged, wounded and reverting to human form, from the battlefield. However, try as he might, he just couldn't remember anything after that. Grumbling a little, he gave up and decided to get some sleep. I can figure it out in the morning. Scooting around on the tree limb, he tried to get comfortable. Finally, he nodded off from sheer exhaustion.

 

He was touching her. He was naked, and he was touching her. Cool skin was sliding against his own heated flesh, robbing him of thought and leaving nothing in its wake but the desire to claim her. Creamy breasts, white, quivering belly, soft thighs pressed around his hips...he raised his eyes.

 

She lay stretched out underneath him in invitation, back arched, firelight reflecting off the silky cloud of jet hair spread beneath her. She whimpered, calling his name, and he felt a tremor go through him in response, rocking through his body like a wave.

 

“Mine,” he heard himself growl.

 

“Yes, yours,” she said, twining her arms around him. She lifted her face to his, her eyes shining with love. It humbled him.

 

“Kagome,” he said, then froze.

 

“Kagome?”

 

Inuyasha was jerked completely awake when the ground smacked him in the head. He had fallen out of his tree.

 

As soon as his vision cleared, he looked to where Kagome lay sleeping, then sighed with relief. She hadn't stirred.

 

What the hell is the matter with me? That dream...what the hell? He frowned in annoyance at the guilty blush heating his face. He sat there for a moment, breath heaving in and out of his lungs, until he could regain control of his body. Kagome. He firmly tried to push away his dream image of the girl, but it was difficult. Finally feeling that he had himself together, he went and crouched by her sleeping bag. He stretched one clawed hand out as if to uncover her face, then shook his head and bounded back into his tree, cursing quietly.

 

What the hell am I thinking? Could I have...? He squeezed his eyes shut, a look of concentration crossing his face. No. No! That's not possible. I would know, if I had...if I had...to Kagome? No, I wouldn't do that. I couldn't do that.

 

I would know.

 

***

 

They didn't make it back to Kaede's hut before noon. Shippou rolled his eyes. We'll be lucky if we make it by nightfall. Inuyasha had not offered for Kagome to ride on his back, and Sango had sent Kilarra back the previous evening to let Kaede know they were all returning, so the walk took longer than expected.

 

What's dog boy's problem, anyway? Shippou glared at the object of his thoughts. Yesterday, he did something to piss Kagome off, and today he's even grouchier than usual. And he's not going near Kagome. That last fact had Shippou more worried than anything. No matter Inuyasha's attitude, he usually could be found following Kagome around like a bad tempered puppy. Today, however, he was keeping his distance. Oh, it was obvious he was still keeping an eye on her, but the actual physical distance was notable.

 

To make the situation even stranger, while he was snapping at Sango, Miroku, and Shippou every time they crossed his path, he was being almost courteous to Kagome, when he did interact with her. Maybe he's afraid to make her mad again?

 

Kagome, on the other hand, was still acting as she had the day before--which meant she was ignoring Inuyasha. She hasn't sat him even once today. He rubbed his sore head, glaring at the hanyou again. Not even when he was mean to me. I don't like this. What's going on?

 

The kit's worries didn't ease any after finally returning to Kaede's hut. Kagome almost immediately left for the well, saying something about school and tests, and Inuyasha didn't even attempt to stop her. Instead, he just sat in the tree by the path and watched her leave. Something was very wrong, indeed. I don't like this at all.

 

After two days had passed, he liked it even less. Kagome hadn't come back yet, and it didn't seem like Inuyasha was going to go and get her this time. He had been surlier than ever, and had knocked Miroku down when the monk had tried to find out what was going on. The entire group was concerned, but no one wanted to question the irritable hanyou about it. There was nothing to do but try to avoid his temper while they waited for Kagome to return. If she returns. If she doesn't... Shippou hunched his shoulders in misery, then frowned darkly at Inuyasha when he wasn't looking. Why won't he just go get her? We're supposed to be looking for shards, right? He never lets her stay gone this long without pitching a fit. The little cub's frown deepened. It has to be his fault. It always is. Frustration getting the better of him, Shippou pushed to his feet, jabbing a finger in Inuyasha's direction. “What did you do to Kagome this time, you big jerk?”

 

***

 

Sango had just stepped into the hut just when Shippou fired his angry question at Inuyasha. Oh no, Shippou, don't provoke him. She gave a mental groan and, remembering Inuyasha's earlier loss of temper with Miroku, prepared to move in between the kit and the hanyou if need be. However, to her eternal surprise, Inuyasha did not attempt to retaliate against the kitsune. Instead, he stood stock still for a moment, face pale, before turning and pushing by her and out the door. Shippou made as if to follow him, but she caught him by the tail.

 

“No, Shippou. Leave him alone,” she said firmly, setting him back down. Shippou plopped down in the corner to sulk, and she turned to stare after Inuyasha's departing form.

 

What was that all about?

 

***

 

Inuyasha had decided to spend the night in the familiar branches of the Goshinbuko tree. He needed to think, and he couldn't stand being around the others right now. They kept looking at him accusingly, and he had no idea what he had done wrong, or even *if* he had done anything wrong in the first place. Shippou's accusations were the final straw. He was miserable. Of course you are. Kagome's gone. He blinked his eyes open. “That's not why,” he said aloud. “Every time she leaves, they blame me.”

 

Because it's usually your fault.

 

“It is not!”

 

Is too. You're stubborn. You push her away.

 

“Keh.” He closed his eyes, attempting to ignore his thoughts.

 

Go get her.

 

He sighed. “No.”

 

Go get her.

 

“I can't.”

 

You can. Just jump in the well, go to her window, and tell her to get her stuff and come with you.

 

“I can't,” he whispered. “What if I...I really...”

 

You didn't.

 

“That's just it! I don't know *what* I did or didn't do!” He passed a hand over his face, feeling tired to his bones.

 

Damn it, you didn't!

 

“Fuck! I did something to upset her--that much is obvious. She can't even stand to be around me now.”

 

Whatever it was, you weren't yourself. She'll forgive you. You know she doesn't hold grudges like that. Stop being a coward and go get her.

 

“I'm not a stinking coward, and I'm not going after her. There's no need right now. If we hear of any shards, I'll go get her, but until then, drop it.”

 

The hell with the shards. Go get her. You know you want to. You miss her.

 

“Do not.”

 

Yeah, right. That's why you're camping out in a tree by the well--because you *don't* miss Kagome.

 

“Shut up!” he yelled.

 

There was no reply. Realizing that he had just shouted at himself, Inuyasha dropped his face in his hands and groaned. She really is making me crazy. Sheesh. Giving the well one last look, Inuyasha finally settled back to sleep.

***

-to be continued-