InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Emo Diaries ❯ Morning-Time Thoughts ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
A/N: Hey guys. I'm sooo sorry that I haven't updated in so long, but I've just been soo busy with school work. Hope U guys haven't completely forgotten about my story, LOL!! And i also hope that u like this next chappie!!
Summary: Inuyasha's lifestyle isn't perfet. In fact, it's far from it. How does he deal??
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters form the inuyasha series and did not create it either. GOD!! These disclaimers will be the death of me!! But then again, I am already partially dead. (Muahahahahha!!!)
The Emo Diaries
Chapter 4: Morning-Time Thoughts
(Inuyasha's P.O.V)
How much longer will I be forced to look upon my image in a shattered mirror? How often will I find myself isolated behind this wall of unwanted confinement? How many times will I go on without knowing my place in life? Maybe the real question is, how will I react?...
I got in late last night. I can still smell the night-time scent in my hair. For some reason, ever since I last saw that girl (which was actually only a few hours ago), I couldn't get her face out of my mind. I couldn't let go of how beautiful she was. How nice she smelled. But also, how terrified she was when I last saw her. Well... the last time I saw her concious I suppose. "Damn it!", I cursed to myself. "Get her out of your mind! You're just worried about her, that's all". I tried to rationalize. Of course anyone would feel worried to some extent. She was afraid. In fact, she was so afraid that she had passed out! I did all I could. That's mainly all that matters. I know that I am beginning to become curious about this woman, but I'm going to have to keep it hidden.
When I got in last night, I was tired. I was tired when I unlocked the door to the house. I was tired when I stepped into the nearly empty apartment room and the floor creaked. I was tired when I breathed in the scent of dry wood and inscent smoke. Tired when I flicked on the light, revealing the entirety of my short-comings. I don't have a lot of money. In fact, I don't even meet average standards. I don't have a real job. That money that I got from the performance should cover the rent, and maybe afford a few weeks of food. Which sounded pretty good to me. Walking into my tiny bed-room, I got ready for bed. I didn't really have to do much but take off some of the wet clothes I had on, and to tie up my hair. I don't have any sort of matress, so I just wrapped up in a blanket and stretched myself flat across the bed-room floor. I was so tired... My eye-lids kept getting heavier by the second... I fell asleep almost instantly...
I finally began to wake up. The bright sun's light and warmth greeted me. The light from the curtainless bed-room window slightly stung my eyes, forcing me to close them once more. I almost fell asleep again... But then I snapped myself awake! I sat up and stretched my arms out by moving them in big circles. I was now wide and awake. I let out a big yawn. "I've gotta' take a shower", I muttered to myself. I got up from my warm spot on the floor, and started to walk towards the bathroom. For some strange reason, my back was kind of hurting me this morning. "Ow!", I complained while massaging my aching back with my hand. "Feels like I slept on my damn guitar!". But now to think of it, maybe it's from not having a matress.
I'm always a little grumpy in the morning. There's just something about "waking up" that I sort of dread. Something about opening my eyes and having to witness first-hand how my life has sort of spun out of control into Oblivion. I'll admit it: I'm not a very rich guy. In fact I'm kind of along the lines of being "poor". I can barely afford the shit-hole of an apartment that I'm currently living in!
I enter the bathroom, but I don't even bother to close the door behind me, seeing as I'm all alone in the house anyways. I turn the cold, metal knob of the showerhead. The water was ice cold! I wait impatiently for it to get warm. Finally it does. "Wow!", I say to myself. "Today, it took like three minutes for the water to get warm". I step into the broken-down, rusty shower. Sure, I have enough money for things like food, cheap clothes, and other needed items. Earlier, I had even saved up enough money for a house phone. I just don't have much money to go towards things like getting a decent apartment, and being able to pay the rent.
I grab a container of showering gel, and squeeze some onto my sponge. The only thing that I own of any sort of value is my guitar. I didn't buy it, but it had once belonged to my father. He was legendary guitarist. Everyone called him "The Apollo", which stood for the Greek God of fire, and the flaming sun. It was said that when he played, it was as if he were calling forth the sun, so that everyone could feel it's burning flames. He had it all. Fame, fortune, evertyhing. Basically, the man lived like a Goddamn king. I suppose anyone in my place would wonder: where the money is now... But I 'know' where the money is. I also have a brother. He's my older brother, by about seven years. We have the same father, yes, but we have different mothers, thus, making him my half-sibling. His name is Sesshomaru.
I don't know where he is now. I don't know what city he lives in, what area, or country for that matter. But I know one thing: That bastard must be filthy rich! He would never let my father's money, or his estate go to waste. No, not him. In fact, he'd probably be the first to get his greedy clutches on the cash, without even thinking to share a tiny morsal of it....
Yet... Here I am. Living the way I do... Living like a Goddamned wretch! My mother and father had divorced when I was a young boy. I mean, very young. Then... my mother died. She was very sick. We didn't have the money to pay for treatment, or hospital care. And father wasn't worried about us. Not me... not mother... He was far too busy with his career. His fame. His fortune. His Goddamned ego! And she died! Mother Died because of him! But he too died a few years after. And in his will, he wrote that all of the money left over from his career, goes to Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru! He didn't even think to include me in his will. He had forgotten all about me by then. He must have never really loved me or mother.
Before mother passed away, she gave me something. It was my father's guitar. He had given it to her, for what reasons, I don't know. And she gave it to me. I was only nine. I didn't have the slightest idea how to play one. To tell you the truth, I barely even knew what it was. But mother had given it to me. She wanted me to keep it close. At heart, she didn't want me to hold a grudge againsed my father... Mother was so pure. So naturally kind-hearted. That is why I cherrish this guitar. It was a gift from my mother. To have as a reminder of her and my father, and of how things were prior to their divorce. It was a gift... A gift from her.... My Mother...
At one time, I was a young boy. I had no one. No mother, no father. They were both gone. I was only about nine, or ten years old. Basically, I lived on the streets like a freakin' derelict. I usually did favors for people in order to gain food, or money. I did things like stealing for people, holding on to drugs for people. Or just simple tasks, like buying items at the store for people. They'd usually let me keep the change, or something like that. I basically had to learn how to survive, and "make it" in the streets on my own. When I was eleven, I made a choice to go back to school. That was how I met Miroku. We were best friends, and we still are. I'm glad to have him around. He's just the kind of friend that probably comes around once in a life-time. His family wasn't doing too good financially either. We talked about things like how we both had to steal for food, or money. About how we would sometimes hide drugs for people. He was the only one I could ever really relate to. By the time we were about fifteen, I had already taught myself how to play my father's guitar. Miroku had also taught himself how to play the drums. Miroku would skillfully play with his drumsticks on the sidewalk, and I would play my guitar. We actually sounded pretty alright in my ears. And people would come by and give us money. By the time we were both sixteen, we were old enough to get part-time minimum wage jobs. This was pretty good for the both of us. Finally, we had a way to get money without having to steal, or hide drugs, or beg for it. It was money that we actually earned. We both felt pretty good about that. In our times of youth we were there for eachother... We are there for one another now, in our adult lives... And we will always be there for one-another in our years to come. My friend... Miroku...
It's all in how you mix the two.
And it starts just where the light exists...
It's a feeling that you cannot miss
And it burns a whole through everyone that feels it.
Well, you're never going to find it
If you're looking for it won't come your way.
Well, you'll never find it. If you're looking for it...
Should've done something but I've done it enough.
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you...
I turn off the shower-head, and I step out... To tell you the truth, I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed about all of the thinking I've been doing lately. I'm starting to feel a little shakey as well. Without even drying of all the way, I impatiently wrap a towel around my waist and open the bathroom door. I walk towards the kitchen. My wet footsteps leave water-marks on the wooden floor of the kitchen. It's kind of dark as well. I open a cabinet. In the cabinet, there are cans, jars of food, and several bottles of liquor. I pull out a bottle of liquor and I unscrew the cap. Without even getting a glass, I press the bottle to my lips...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~
A/N: The end of chappie four. I know... It was kinda short. I wanted to shorten it so that the next chappie would be more interesting. BTW, I thought I'd add some lyrics from the band, 'The Used'. I chose the song "Blue and yellow", because it has a lot to do with friendship. I know that I haven't updated in a looooong time. Sorry about that. Busy Busy!! lol. So you got a little taste of inu's lifestyle. But there's soo much more that I'm gonna add, so keep reading. It's gonna get pretty dramatic somewhere in the middle of the story. Inu might be in the next chappie & some good Ideas r coming to mind. Review & thanx!!!!!
Summary: Inuyasha's lifestyle isn't perfet. In fact, it's far from it. How does he deal??
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters form the inuyasha series and did not create it either. GOD!! These disclaimers will be the death of me!! But then again, I am already partially dead. (Muahahahahha!!!)
The Emo Diaries
Chapter 4: Morning-Time Thoughts
(Inuyasha's P.O.V)
How much longer will I be forced to look upon my image in a shattered mirror? How often will I find myself isolated behind this wall of unwanted confinement? How many times will I go on without knowing my place in life? Maybe the real question is, how will I react?...
I got in late last night. I can still smell the night-time scent in my hair. For some reason, ever since I last saw that girl (which was actually only a few hours ago), I couldn't get her face out of my mind. I couldn't let go of how beautiful she was. How nice she smelled. But also, how terrified she was when I last saw her. Well... the last time I saw her concious I suppose. "Damn it!", I cursed to myself. "Get her out of your mind! You're just worried about her, that's all". I tried to rationalize. Of course anyone would feel worried to some extent. She was afraid. In fact, she was so afraid that she had passed out! I did all I could. That's mainly all that matters. I know that I am beginning to become curious about this woman, but I'm going to have to keep it hidden.
When I got in last night, I was tired. I was tired when I unlocked the door to the house. I was tired when I stepped into the nearly empty apartment room and the floor creaked. I was tired when I breathed in the scent of dry wood and inscent smoke. Tired when I flicked on the light, revealing the entirety of my short-comings. I don't have a lot of money. In fact, I don't even meet average standards. I don't have a real job. That money that I got from the performance should cover the rent, and maybe afford a few weeks of food. Which sounded pretty good to me. Walking into my tiny bed-room, I got ready for bed. I didn't really have to do much but take off some of the wet clothes I had on, and to tie up my hair. I don't have any sort of matress, so I just wrapped up in a blanket and stretched myself flat across the bed-room floor. I was so tired... My eye-lids kept getting heavier by the second... I fell asleep almost instantly...
I finally began to wake up. The bright sun's light and warmth greeted me. The light from the curtainless bed-room window slightly stung my eyes, forcing me to close them once more. I almost fell asleep again... But then I snapped myself awake! I sat up and stretched my arms out by moving them in big circles. I was now wide and awake. I let out a big yawn. "I've gotta' take a shower", I muttered to myself. I got up from my warm spot on the floor, and started to walk towards the bathroom. For some strange reason, my back was kind of hurting me this morning. "Ow!", I complained while massaging my aching back with my hand. "Feels like I slept on my damn guitar!". But now to think of it, maybe it's from not having a matress.
I'm always a little grumpy in the morning. There's just something about "waking up" that I sort of dread. Something about opening my eyes and having to witness first-hand how my life has sort of spun out of control into Oblivion. I'll admit it: I'm not a very rich guy. In fact I'm kind of along the lines of being "poor". I can barely afford the shit-hole of an apartment that I'm currently living in!
I enter the bathroom, but I don't even bother to close the door behind me, seeing as I'm all alone in the house anyways. I turn the cold, metal knob of the showerhead. The water was ice cold! I wait impatiently for it to get warm. Finally it does. "Wow!", I say to myself. "Today, it took like three minutes for the water to get warm". I step into the broken-down, rusty shower. Sure, I have enough money for things like food, cheap clothes, and other needed items. Earlier, I had even saved up enough money for a house phone. I just don't have much money to go towards things like getting a decent apartment, and being able to pay the rent.
I grab a container of showering gel, and squeeze some onto my sponge. The only thing that I own of any sort of value is my guitar. I didn't buy it, but it had once belonged to my father. He was legendary guitarist. Everyone called him "The Apollo", which stood for the Greek God of fire, and the flaming sun. It was said that when he played, it was as if he were calling forth the sun, so that everyone could feel it's burning flames. He had it all. Fame, fortune, evertyhing. Basically, the man lived like a Goddamn king. I suppose anyone in my place would wonder: where the money is now... But I 'know' where the money is. I also have a brother. He's my older brother, by about seven years. We have the same father, yes, but we have different mothers, thus, making him my half-sibling. His name is Sesshomaru.
I don't know where he is now. I don't know what city he lives in, what area, or country for that matter. But I know one thing: That bastard must be filthy rich! He would never let my father's money, or his estate go to waste. No, not him. In fact, he'd probably be the first to get his greedy clutches on the cash, without even thinking to share a tiny morsal of it....
Yet... Here I am. Living the way I do... Living like a Goddamned wretch! My mother and father had divorced when I was a young boy. I mean, very young. Then... my mother died. She was very sick. We didn't have the money to pay for treatment, or hospital care. And father wasn't worried about us. Not me... not mother... He was far too busy with his career. His fame. His fortune. His Goddamned ego! And she died! Mother Died because of him! But he too died a few years after. And in his will, he wrote that all of the money left over from his career, goes to Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru! He didn't even think to include me in his will. He had forgotten all about me by then. He must have never really loved me or mother.
Before mother passed away, she gave me something. It was my father's guitar. He had given it to her, for what reasons, I don't know. And she gave it to me. I was only nine. I didn't have the slightest idea how to play one. To tell you the truth, I barely even knew what it was. But mother had given it to me. She wanted me to keep it close. At heart, she didn't want me to hold a grudge againsed my father... Mother was so pure. So naturally kind-hearted. That is why I cherrish this guitar. It was a gift from my mother. To have as a reminder of her and my father, and of how things were prior to their divorce. It was a gift... A gift from her.... My Mother...
At one time, I was a young boy. I had no one. No mother, no father. They were both gone. I was only about nine, or ten years old. Basically, I lived on the streets like a freakin' derelict. I usually did favors for people in order to gain food, or money. I did things like stealing for people, holding on to drugs for people. Or just simple tasks, like buying items at the store for people. They'd usually let me keep the change, or something like that. I basically had to learn how to survive, and "make it" in the streets on my own. When I was eleven, I made a choice to go back to school. That was how I met Miroku. We were best friends, and we still are. I'm glad to have him around. He's just the kind of friend that probably comes around once in a life-time. His family wasn't doing too good financially either. We talked about things like how we both had to steal for food, or money. About how we would sometimes hide drugs for people. He was the only one I could ever really relate to. By the time we were about fifteen, I had already taught myself how to play my father's guitar. Miroku had also taught himself how to play the drums. Miroku would skillfully play with his drumsticks on the sidewalk, and I would play my guitar. We actually sounded pretty alright in my ears. And people would come by and give us money. By the time we were both sixteen, we were old enough to get part-time minimum wage jobs. This was pretty good for the both of us. Finally, we had a way to get money without having to steal, or hide drugs, or beg for it. It was money that we actually earned. We both felt pretty good about that. In our times of youth we were there for eachother... We are there for one another now, in our adult lives... And we will always be there for one-another in our years to come. My friend... Miroku...
It's all in how you mix the two.
And it starts just where the light exists...
It's a feeling that you cannot miss
And it burns a whole through everyone that feels it.
Well, you're never going to find it
If you're looking for it won't come your way.
Well, you'll never find it. If you're looking for it...
Should've done something but I've done it enough.
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you...
I turn off the shower-head, and I step out... To tell you the truth, I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed about all of the thinking I've been doing lately. I'm starting to feel a little shakey as well. Without even drying of all the way, I impatiently wrap a towel around my waist and open the bathroom door. I walk towards the kitchen. My wet footsteps leave water-marks on the wooden floor of the kitchen. It's kind of dark as well. I open a cabinet. In the cabinet, there are cans, jars of food, and several bottles of liquor. I pull out a bottle of liquor and I unscrew the cap. Without even getting a glass, I press the bottle to my lips...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~
A/N: The end of chappie four. I know... It was kinda short. I wanted to shorten it so that the next chappie would be more interesting. BTW, I thought I'd add some lyrics from the band, 'The Used'. I chose the song "Blue and yellow", because it has a lot to do with friendship. I know that I haven't updated in a looooong time. Sorry about that. Busy Busy!! lol. So you got a little taste of inu's lifestyle. But there's soo much more that I'm gonna add, so keep reading. It's gonna get pretty dramatic somewhere in the middle of the story. Inu might be in the next chappie & some good Ideas r coming to mind. Review & thanx!!!!!
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