InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Entrapment: A 21st Century Adventure ❯ The Lover's Delight ( Chapter 15 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: King Baka 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Adventure / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 11.20.2011 | Pages: 4 | Words: 11.4K | Visits: 1.8K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Adventure / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 11.20.2011 | Pages: 4 | Words: 11.4K | Visits: 1.8K | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I’m just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I’ve created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.
The Lover’s Delight
“Oh, damn it all to hell!” Kagome swore, earning a surprised look from her companion. Still, Inuyasha couldn’t blame her for the outburst.
Studying their map of Japan had made Kagome realize how big the Tokyo Metropolis really was. Seeking to minimize the amount of time they would have to spend in an urban setting, she had led them down through the mountainous region to the west of the city. They had entered the metropolis this morning, passing through smaller sub-cities like Hamura and Nishitokyo on the way to the main city where the Higurashi shrine was located. Now it was evening, and they were perhaps no more than a few miles from their final destination. But no more progress could be made tonight; the moonless sky above guaranteed that. They had spent the last several hours seeking lodging, a safe place for Inuyasha to spend his night of weakness. But this was a busy weekend in Tokyo, with a huge economics conference and a cultural festival attracting tourists. Every hotel they had visited had either been completely booked or out of their price range. Thus far at least, their little excursion in the mountains was indeed biting them in the ass.
Still, Kagome could not bring herself to regret their brief vacation. The days since had been full of laughter, competitive card games, and awkward romantic moments. Their stay at the ryokan had both revitalized and pushed them closer together. So if the consequences were having a rough time finding a hotel, or even not finding one at all, they would deal with them without complaining too much. Even so, Kagome was tired, sore, and officially out of patience. And she knew that Inuyasha, with his human body, was feeling just as miserable as she. They really needed to rest somewhere for awhile, even if it was just on a park bench.
“Inuyasha, can you smell any trees—oh, sorry.”
“Keh.”
“We’ll go to a couple more hotels, and then find a restaurant or something to sit in, okay?”
He nodded, and they set off again. Inuyasha was both perturbed and impressed by the number and variety of lights illuminating the city. The humans certainly knew how to compensate for their weak vision. But didn’t it concern them that if they strayed even a little outside the curtain of radiance, they would be almost completely blind? There were dark spots in the city, murky alleyways and dim sidewalks. As someone from a far wilder, more dangerous time, he could not help but look into every shadowy recess, even though his eyes were now useless to penetrate the void. Kami, I hate being human.
He reiterated to himself that it would be over soon, and turned his attention to the girl leading him down the sidewalk. In the flicker caused by passing vehicles and pedestrians, he glimpsed the dark bags under her eyes, and the slight hobble to her gait. Again, he cursed the state of his body. If he’d been hanyou, he could have found them a deserted rooftop to camp out on, safe from the mass of humanity below. Instead they were forced to find shelter the human way, and since he was utterly lost in this exotic steel and concrete world, Kagome had to lead the way. She had to take care of him, rather than the other way around. And he hated that, more than anything else.
She paused, facing a somewhat odd looking building, seemingly debating with herself. After a moment she set her jaw and pulled him toward the entrance. Inuyasha had just enough time to look up and read “The Lover’s Delight” spelled out in bright pink and green neon lights before he was inside. And if he wasn’t already sure this place was different from any other hotel they had tried, what he saw inside confirmed it. A man and a woman stood giggling, reading from some sort of board with pictures on it in the wall to the right of the door. The man pulled a ‘Miroku’ and slipped his hand onto her backside, but the woman didn’t seem to care; if anything, her body language only encouraged him. After a moment, she pulled away and spoke to someone behind a pane of glass through which only a vague outline could be seen. Money and a key were passed through a small opening at the bottom, and the couple went on their way. It was exceedingly obvious that they only had one thing on their minds.
Inuyasha looked at Kagome, confused and even faintly aroused by the intensity of that display. She was slightly flushed as well, though that appeared to be in embarrassment. She wouldn’t meet his gaze, and seemed to be waiting for him to ask the burning question. So he did.
“Kagome, what the hell is this place?”
“I-it’s called a ‘love hotel,’ Inuyasha. Couples come here to…you know, make love. I just thought—since it seems relatively nice and we can afford it…but if you don’t want to stay we can just—” (1)
“It’s fine with me,” he cut her off gruffly. The thought of going back outside was appalling; he wanted a warm room and a soft bed, and he didn’t really care where he got it. If it was in a hotel where everyone else was having sex, then so be it. At least the smells and sounds from the other rooms wouldn’t bother him tonight.
“O-okay,” Kagome stuttered, apparently surprised at his response. She led him over to the glass divider, having already selected a room from the board. The cost was seven thousand yen, which Kagome exchanged for a key. Inuyasha knew that was almost all of their remaining funds, but their journey would be ending tomorrow one way or another, so it didn’t really matter.
Their room itself was not all that different from the other hotels they had stayed at, though several key features had definitely received upgrades. The bed was huge and appeared incredibly comfortable, and there was a big TV set up across from the foot of it, perfect for the couple who wished to enjoy adult programming in bed. The colors of the walls and the style of the furniture were more exotic as well, and a modern male might have appreciated the subtle sexual appeal of the room. But as he was from a time with its own very distinct views on what was and wasn’t sexy, most of this flew right over Inuyasha’s head.
“Why don’t you take a bath?” Kagome practically ordered as soon as he stepped into the room, pushing him toward the bathroom. “I’m sure you wouldn’t mind a nice soak.”
True as that might be, her forceful demeanor made him suspicious. “You go first,” he said. “I can wait.”
“I insist!” she exclaimed with false cheer, shoving him the rest of the way and closing the door behind him. Inuyasha frowned, then shook his head and gave up. She was acting weird, but it would do no good to fight with her about it. Especially not when a hot bath sounded so alluring. His feet were killing him, cold and achy in the cheap sandals Kagome had bought for him when the sun went down. He had complained at the time, but now he was glad for her thoughtfulness. Without it, his feet would surely be in much worse shape. Still, a long soak would feel divine, on both his feet and the rest of his body.
Kagome heaved a relieved sigh when she heard the water turn on, glad she had managed to avoid further mortification. She quickly stalked to the bed and snatched the condoms off the pillows, tossing them in a drawer. She did not want to have to explain what those little circles in the square wrappers were. And she also didn’t want to try to rationalize the suggestive-looking pamphlet on the nightstand, no doubt advertising the many erotic options available through room service. Purely for curiosity’s sake, she picked it up and flipped through it. Yep, it was pretty much what she expected—toys and costumes for both sexes, and some kinkier paraphernalia in the back that made her blanch. She was not surprised to find a ‘naughty schoolgirl’ costume, but she was mildly offended at its similarity to her own uniform. The skirt was a near match in color and design, though it was perhaps a little shorter than hers. The navel and cleavage-revealing top, on the other hand, probably contained less than half the fabric that her uniform did. At least the people who designed for the school got that part right. She had grown accustomed to the short skirt over the years, but would certainly not complain if the school came out with a longer version. Idly she wondered if she would ever have the chance to wear that uniform again.
Shaking her head of such thoughts, Kagome looked around the room to see what other embarrassment she could avoid. The TV—she didn’t even want to turn on the TV. No doubt the previous occupants had left it on an erotic channel, and she didn’t want to take the chance that a bored hanyou-turned-human would stumble across a pornographic movie while she was in the bath. The remote was promptly thrown in the drawer with the pamphlet and condoms, and she even unplugged the TV itself for good measure. Then she set her bag down in front of the drawer, reducing the chance that Inuyasha would decide to go snooping there. Finally satisfied that she had done all she could to make their stay as non-awkward as possible, she flopped back on the bed.
A groan escaped her lips as she sank into the comfy mattress with its plush bedding, twisting slightly to work the kinks out of her sore back. She gazed listlessly up at the ceiling, reflecting on the absurdity of it all. I can’t believe I’m in a love hotel with Inuyasha. She chuckled to herself with a wry smirk. Oh, in other circumstances… It seemed like a nice enough place, just nowhere she would ever usually go near. After all, what was a love hotel without a lover? Stupid Tokyo! I forgot how expensive everything is here. They had been lucky to find a place, so she would count her blessings. At least the smells and sounds from the other rooms won’t keep Inuyasha up tonight.
*growl*
Speaking of sounds, her stomach had just reminded her of how hungry she was. There was some ninja food left, but the thought of eating it made her grimace. What she really felt like was an ice cream, but that wasn’t going to— Wait, hadn’t they passed an ice cream shop a block or two before finding this hotel? She was almost positive. Digging in her pocket, she pulled out the last of their traveling money. Four hundred eighty-five yen…that’s enough for a couple cones, right? There was a danger, of course, but it was so small as to be negligible. Their pursuers couldn’t possibly know they were here, and the chances of being spotted and recognized in a city of twelve million people were slim to none. And she wanted an ice cream, dammit!
Decision made, Kagome hopped off the bed and crept to the door; Inuyasha wouldn’t even know she was gone. He would of course be royally pissed that she had left without him, but she was sure a cool, tasty treat would mollify his temper. And if not, she would just push him into the tub again to cool off by more direct means. Snickering, she went out into the hallway and locked the door behind her.
She shook her head, and turned her attention back to her surroundings. Her humming abruptly died away as she noticed just how dark and empty this side of the street was. She had approached the ice cream shop on the other side, but in her distraction she had forgotten to re-cross afterwards. And now she found herself on the sidewalk of this very deserted city block, with no lights shining in the windows of the apparently abandoned building above her, and the streetlights knocked out by vandalism or neglect. She looked up and down the street, realizing with disappointment that the traffic was too heavy to attempt a crossing here. I’ll cross at the next intersection, she told herself, quickening her pace as pangs of fear settled in her belly. The lamp at the corner glimmered like a beacon of hope, calling out to her. She walked faster still, not daring to peer into the shadowy recesses of the buildings or the oppressively dark alleyways for fear of acknowledging what might be lurking there, or admitting that those soft footsteps her terrified mind was conjuring were actually—
It happened in an instant. She barely had time to let out a muffled yelp as a large hand covered her mouth, pulling her head back against a solid male chest as his other arm wrapped around her torso. He quickly dragged her into a nearby alley, unhindered by her frantic but ineffectual struggles. Kagome’s mind was drowning in white hot panic, and overwhelming despair. She had ruined everything. She had gotten herself captured by Yoshida again; he would force her to tell him where Inuyasha was. Then her beloved hanyou would be taken. And she knew, one way or another, she would never see Inuyasha again.
“Quit wiggling, bitch,” a low, coarse voice hissed in her ear. The feel and stench of his breath made her want to retch. A knife was produced, waved in front of her eyes for a moment and then held against her neck so she could feel the metallic bite of the blade into her tender flesh. Kagome froze instinctively as a trickle of blood flowed down under her shirt. It was not so much her life that flashed before her eyes, but the last few weeks with her hanyou. I’m so sorry, Inuyasha…
“Good,” the man barked. “Now give me your fuckin’ money, and I’ll let you go.”
Kagome’s consciousness slowed to a crawl. There was no reason for one of Yoshida’s lackeys to say something like that, unless… So…this man was not affiliated with Yoshida at all! Her body flooded with relief, even as a new type of fear gripped her. Although she had not endangered Inuyasha’s safety with her recklessness, she was still being mugged. She was still being held by a very strong man with a very sharp knife, both of which were demanding payment in exchange for her release. And she had nothing to give him.
Her attempt to convey that information came out as a stifled mess because of her captor’s hand, but he understood.
“Don’t bullshit me, bitch!” he snarled, punctuating his words with more pressure from the knife. “Teenage girls don’t run around with no money. Now give me the fuckin’ cash and credit cards or I’ll start carving up that pretty face of yours!”
Kagome whimpered, pure terror finally overwhelming her. She was about to be murdered! This man would either kill her because he thought she was lying, or kill her out of anger once he found out she was telling the truth. The tendrils of experience in deadly encounters by which she had been holding herself together until this point finally snapped, broken by this hopeless situation and her utter helplessness. She sobbed, tears running freely down her cheeks as she waited for the final blow to fall, praying that it would end quickly.
But nothing happened. For an eternity that was in reality only a few seconds, her attacker stood silently, neither tightening his hold nor moving to release her.
“You’re really broke, aren’t you?” he said finally, frustration evident in his tone. He removed his hand from her mouth, but it still hovered a couple inches away. The message was clear—he wanted to hear what she had to say, but if she inhaled in preparation for a scream, the hand would return and the knife would plunge into her flesh.
“Yes!” Kagome exclaimed in a hoarse whisper. “I-I come from a poor family. I spent the last yen I had on those ice creams. Please, believe me! Please, don’t hurt m—”
“Shut up!” her captor growled, silencing her with his hand yet again. Suddenly the knife was gone from her throat, but he tightened his grip on her head and she dared not move a muscle. The next thing she knew, his now weaponless hand was reaching inside the front pocket of her jeans. He proceeded to search all her pockets in this manner, his actions entirely businesslike. Still, he was touching places on her body where unfamiliar male hands should not be, and her cheeks flushed in indignation. Next he made her lift her feet one at a time so he could feel inside her socks and shoes. Finally, he reached up under her shirt, pushed her bra out of the way and explored the inside of that garment too, unavoidably contacting her breasts in the process. Finally, he withdrew his hand, and Kagome released the tortured breath she had been holding.
Her captor sighed. “Why can’t I ever get a rich girl?” he muttered.
And suddenly she was free, stumbling uncontrollably out of the alley courtesy of a healthy shove in the back. She fell gracelessly to the ground, scraping her forearms in the process, but the pain didn’t register. She spun around and looked into the alley, but she could see no one within those shadowy depths. The sudden urge to flee struck her hard, and she scrambled to her feet and took off. The streetlamp at the corner seemed miles away as the pavement before her stretched and elongated before her eyes. But at long last she reached the light, skidding to a stop just before colliding with a couple chatting on the sidewalk. She bent over, breathing heavily with her hands on her knees.
“Are you alright?” the man asked, his female companion looking on with concern.
“Huh?” Kagome mumbled, gazing blankly up at him. With her wits as scattered as they were, it took her a moment to pull enough of them together to manage a coherent response. “Oh…yeah, fine.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, glancing to the crosswalk and observing the change of the signal. Immediately she was on the move, marching rapidly across the street, her eyes on the hotel and only one thought on her mind. She had to get back to the only place in the world that was safe. She had to get back to Inuyasha.
How she made it to their room without breaking down Kagome would never know, but the instant her backside sank into the mattress, the dam on her raging emotions burst. All the fear, all the desperation and despair came pouring out of her in waves of tears and wracking sobs. She flopped onto her side, buried her face in the pillow, and curled into a ball.
This is how Inuyasha found her when he emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, still crying but no longer gripped by convulsion-like sobs. He was kneeling by her side in an instant, sniffing furiously for any sign of injury before remembering that his nose would do him no good tonight. Not knowing what else to do, he placed his hand on her shoulder and shook her slightly to get her attention. She lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying. But he still found them beautiful because of the emotion swimming there; she was incredibly happy to see him.
“Inu…yasha…” she breathed, reaching out and running the backs of her fingers along his cheek, as if to make sure he was really there. He shook her off, loath to admit how such a simple gesture affected him.
Inuyasha was torn between embracing her and demanding answers, but he did neither. The first order of business was to tend to her wounds, to facilitated healing and make sure they did not become infected. The ones he could see were superficial, and she did not have any visible bloodstains on her clothing aside from the one on her shirt caused by that suspiciously straight-looking cut on her neck. After rummaging around in her backpack for the small first aid kit she had purchased, he marched to the bathroom and returned with a damp washcloth and clean towel. He then proceeded to clean the scrapes on her forearms. She watched him the whole time but made no comment, though she did wince a few times as he was forced to scrub some stubborn dirt off. When at last the injuries were clean, he applied antibiotic ointment and bandages. He was surprised by how easy it was for him; watching her take care of him so many times had obviously left a mark. Finally, he did the same for the cut on her neck as Kagome lay passively, her eyes closed and her breathing deep and relaxed. It seemed being cared for by him had been therapeutic for her; she was no longer crying, and appeared much calmer than before. And only when he saw this did Inuyasha ask the question which had been burning a hole in his thoughts.
“Kami, Kagome. Are you okay?”
And then she did the most incredible thing—she smiled. It was hesitant and barely there, but it was a smile nonetheless, and it washed away much of the tension in his body. She would not be wearing that expression if she was not truly alright. Her next words confirmed it.
“I’m fine…now,” she added, grinning wider at his embarrassed flush, and moving her hand to caress his cheek again. He snatched her wayward appendage out of the air, as much because he desired the contact as to stop her from doing that.
“But what the hell happened?” he demanded.
Kagome grimaced and looked away, shame coloring her features. She clearly did not want to tell him how she had come to be a weeping mess on the bed, but Inuyasha was sure as hell not going to let it drop.
“Kagome…” he said, squeezing her hand.
She took a deep, shuddering breath, and finally spoke with her eyes still fixed anywhere but him. “I went out to get us some ice cream, and—”
“You went out? Out out, like out of this hotel out? Why the fuck would you do that?!”
Kagome finally met his gaze, but it was with an anger burning in her eyes that caused him to back up a few inches.
“I know it was stupid!” she snapped. “But go ahead and yell at me why don’t you?!”
Part of him wanted to do just that, but a more influential part realized that this was not the time for scolding; he had to get to the bottom of what happened before he could fully understand.
“Okay, so what happened next?” he asked as calmly as he could. She seemed surprised that he was not shouting, and it took her a moment to gather her bearings and continue the story.
“I was on my way back from the ice cream shop, and some guy g-grabbed me. At first I thought he was with Yoshida, but it turned out he just wanted money. I told him I didn’t have any, and he s-s-searched me, and then let me go.”
Inuyasha could tell that was the highly abridged version of the story, but that wasn’t what bothered him. One word in particular stood out, and set his stomach churning.
“He searched you?” he repeated, his alarm rising exponentially as Kagome cringed and curled into herself, wrapping her arms over her body. Inuyasha felt his blood boil. He wasn’t stupid, and he knew where the pockets were in those jeans of hers. Some bastard had touched her in those places, and who knows where else! It obviously hadn’t gone that far, or she would be much more shaken up than this. It had probably not been much worse than the shit Miroku sometimes pulled. That was what he tried to tell himself, at least, but somehow it didn’t make him feel any better. The thought of some filthy animal running his hands all over Kagome made him want to run outside and hunt the dirtbag down. But there was nothing he could do, and he cursed his human body and senses more ardently than ever before. Though perhaps the timing of his night of weakness was not so bad, for Kagome clearly needed him right now. It was a fair tradeoff, he decided, losing his chance to exact revenge in exchange for a greater ability to comfort the traumatized woman beside him.
And with that thought in mind, he decided not to ask her any more about her unpleasant experience. No matter how badly his morbid curiosity desired more detail, he would stifle it to avoid making her relive those terrible moments. Which was probably what she was doing at this very instant, he realized. Wanting to distract her, he said the first thing that came to mind, continuing with their previous topic of conversation.
“So you went out to get us, what, that cold ice stuff?” he asked, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. He was satisfied that she did not cringe at his touch, but instead turned her attention to him once more.
“Hm?” Kagome mumbled, seemingly surprised that he had dropped the subject of her ‘search.’ But he saw real gratitude in her gaze, and was suddenly quite glad for the increased influence of his human emotions. He had no doubt they had and would continue to help him handle this situation the right way.
“Oh!” Kagome exclaimed, biting her lower lip remorsefully. “I guess I dropped them. I’m sorry, Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha stared at her, utterly dumbfounded. You have got to be fucking kidding me. She’s apologizing for that?! He gritted his teeth, hard pressed not to explode on the spot. But human emotions or no, he was still Inuyasha, and Inuyasha could only react one way to a statement as completely moronic as that one.
“Who gives a flying fuck about a stupid ‘ice cream,’ Kagome?! You should be apologizing for scaring the living shit out of me! How could you put your life in danger over a fucking snack?!”
Again, Kagome’s temper rose to match his verbal challenge. “I didn’t…I mean, I didn’t mean to—ugh!” She took a deep breath to gather her thoughts, then spoke in a contrite but still defiant tone. “I was thinking that the chances of Yoshida’s gang finding me were miniscule, and I was right! But I guess I forgot how dangerous the city can be, especially at night, especially when you’re alone.” (3)
Inuyasha didn’t reply; there was really nothing he could add to that. She knew why what she did was stupid, and she surely knew not to do it again. But just to be sure…
“Promise me,” he ordered, “that you won’t leave my side until we’re back on the other side of the well.”
Kagome studied him for a moment, then nodded. “I promise.”
Inuyasha slumped visibly at her words, though he remained kneeling next to the bed. His relief was short-lived.
Kagome laughed, a dry, humorless sound. “I guess I’ll have to stay with you constantly, seeing as how I’m so damn helpless.”
Inuyasha frowned, taken slightly aback. This was unlike Kagome; she was usually so confident and strong-willed, and almost never self-denigrated like that. He supposed the thing to do was to deny her allegation, and the surprising thing was that he didn’t have to think very hard to come up with an appropriate response. The words just came to him, though perhaps from somewhere other than his painfully ineloquent mind.
“You’re not helpless, Kagome,” he said sternly, drawing her shocked gaze. He held it with his own, unflinching in his conviction. “If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead at the hands of Sesshoumaru, Naraku, or any of the dozens of other youkai who could’ve done me in. Your strength…isn’t physical. But it’s real. You think it’s my charming personality that holds our little gang together? It ain’t. It’s you. You took Shippou in, you got Sango to open up, and you’re even starting to help the bouzu realize that it might not be the best idea to grab ass whenever he sees a pretty lady.
“And me,” he spoke lower, finally breaking the ocular connection between them. “You showed me that my ideas about strength were wrong. It’s not just about how powerful your youki is, or how easily you can rip oni apart with your bare hands. It’s…well, you know. Keh,” he barked softly, starting to lose his nerve. He still couldn’t bring himself to say something incredibly sappy like ‘It’s about the friends you have, and the people you’ll die to protect.’ Even in his human state, he wasn’t quite there yet. That was fine; Kagome’s eyes were already shining with happy tears. But he had one more thing he wanted to say, so he plucked up his courage and met her beautiful brown eyes once more.
“And most of all, you taught me that everyone deserves a second chance.”
Kagome stared at him, then spoke quietly but with a degree of earnestness. “If you had been hanyou tonight, what would you have done?”
“Gone after the bastard,” Inuyasha answered without hesitation.
“Would you have killed him?”
Inuyasha thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. “No. I would’ve roughed him up, probably threatened to kill him if I found out he ever touched a woman like that again. But I wouldn’t have killed him.”
Kagome smiled again, this time a full beam with no hint of darkness tugging at the edges. “That’s why you deserve a second chance, Inuyasha,” she declared. Then, as if as an afterthought, she added, “At everything.”
Inuyasha froze, his eyes wide as saucers. The first part of her statement was not all that surprising; she was referring to the inner goodness of his heart. It was a nice compliment, and he would have taken it as such. But those last two words had thrown him for a loop. He knew exactly what Kagome meant by them; his shock stemmed from the fact that she would voice them aloud. For ‘everything’ clearly encompassed everything he had been doing before being sealed to Goshinboku, including the development of a fatally flawed relationship with a certain deceased miko. And since Kagome was definitely not encouraging him to try to rekindle his lost love with Kikyou, that left only one possibility.
How did one respond to such a simple yet profound statement? It amounted to a declaration of love, and she had certainly never said anything like it to his face before. Should he play dumb? He possessed a fair understanding of Kagome’s feelings for him, but she was probably unaware of that knowledge; perhaps she expected the comment to go over his head. But the thought of pretending to ignore those two words left a sour taste in his mouth. At any rate, it was a little late to play dumb now; Kagome’s expression was already shifting to one of alarm, undoubtedly caused by his unexpectedly intense reaction to her words.
So what could he do? Confess his love for her? How could he do that when his own feelings were still uncertain, when he could not bring himself to let Kikyou go? So he couldn’t play dumb and he couldn’t say the words she wanted to hear. No matter what he said, he was going to end up hurting her. And if he stayed silent, the result would be the same. He was, in a word, screwed.
But looking into her eyes, so full of caring even as rising trepidation crept in, grounded him. An idea formed, somewhere away from his brain, somewhere further south. But it spread quickly, becoming almost instinctual as mere notion shifted to desire. Inuyasha, quite literally, acted without thinking.
He leaned down and kissed her. It was chaste, but there was no hesitation or doubt in the firm press of his lips against hers. Then, after barely a second of contact, his conscious mind caught up with him, and he jerked back just as quickly as he had swooped in.
A sinking feeling settled rapidly in the pit of his stomach. What in the names of all the Kami had he just done? What kind of utter stupidity had driven him to do something like that? Never mind how nice it had felt for that fleeting instant, or how his heart was now aflutter. He had no right to kiss her. It wasn’t fair to Kagome, that someone who didn’t even know if he loved her or not had stolen a kiss, and probably her first kiss to boot. He wasn’t just an idiot; he was an asshole. And if he ever wanted to be able to look her in the eyes again, he needed to apologize right now and pray she forgave him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, hanging his head and pinching his eyes shut.
Kagome had not even had time to close her eyes. One moment he was there, nose-to-nose sharing the pressure of his lips. The next moment he was gone, and she was left staring up at the ceiling and wondering whether she had wishfully imagined the whole thing. But the warm tingle still cascading over her lips told her otherwise. She reached up with a shaking hand and prodded one with her index finger.
And then she heard him apologize.
Her initial reaction was hurt, a gut-wrenching sensation that seemed to twist her insides in a knot. But when her eyes flew to him, her pain melted away. He certainly did not appear to regret kissing her for his own sake, nor did his tone of voice indicate that motive now that she thought about it. He looked like he thought she was going to be angry at him. He was begging for forgiveness for doing something wrong. Kagome nearly let out a frustrated laugh as comprehension dawned. After all this time, he still thought she would mind if he kissed her? How dense could a person possibly be? But that was a stupid question, because Inuyasha had always been that dense where romantic matters were concerned. And it would not be so easy to correct his misunderstanding. She could tell him it was okay until she was blue in the face, but his body language was indicating that words would not be enough to assuage his guilt for the great wrong he had committed upon her. Something else was required, and Kagome knew only one thing would do the trick. The fact that she had been waiting for ages to do this was an added bonus.
Inuyasha heard the bed creak as she sat up, and tensed, not sure if she was going to slap him silly or storm right past him. The last thing he expected was for her fingers to tenderly cup his cheek, drawing his face up with gentle pressure. He opened his eyes just in time to see hers slide shut as she leaned closer.
Kagome sensed the tension in his body through his lips, the rigidity with which he held himself. But she refused to back down; she maintained their contact, her lips held softly against his. And gradually, she felt him relax against her, until he was leaning forward, his lips moving ever so slightly against her own. When she pulled away, he followed her unconsciously for a few inches, and it took him a moment to reopen his eyes and fixed his dazed gaze upon her once more. Then, for a brief instant, his expression morphed into something that made Kagome gasp. He had never looked at her like that before, his heavy-lidded stare filled with rampant desire and something else she didn’t trust herself to identify. In that moment she felt truly beloved, coveted at every level. But then he snapped upright, his emotion-repressing mask firmly back in place.
Kagome frowned, somehow hating this mask which she had come to accept as a part of him. After everything that had happened, after the physical intimacy they had just shared, it seemed like a travesty if they were not truly honest with each other for once. Such openness would clearly have to start from her end, however, so she chose her words carefully before speaking. The pause also gave her a chance to gather her thoughts, and realize one thing the last few minutes had shown her quite plainly.
“So I’m guessing you already know how I feel about you,” she finally said, glancing shyly over at him.
Inuyasha quickly flushed beat red, and managed a flustered nod. Kagome was glad to see his discomfiture; she didn’t know how that knowledge made him feel, but it definitely wasn’t nothing.
“How long have you known?” she asked, no hint of anger in her tone.
“Awhile,” he answered reluctantly. But Kagome merely nodded; she had expected as much. Looking back on their time together, she supposed she had made it fairly obvious, even when she wasn’t screaming it at the top of her lungs while possessed by infant youkai. Perhaps Inuyasha was not so dense after all. But then why had he looked so fearful after kissing her?
As she thought about the best way to bring this up, Kagome was struck by the situation they found themselves in. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, Inuyasha’s upper body only a foot or two away as he knelt before her. His face was so close; those amber eyes filled her vision. Possibilities flew threw her mind, tantalizing images of where this could lead…and where she wanted it to lead. The clarity of her inner desires surprised her; they seemed to flow from almost every fiber of her being. The small darkness within her was the lone dissenter, but it was weak against the torrent of love and yearning which poured forth from every other corner of her heart and soul.
She allowed her eyes to trail down his body as she reached for his hand, tingling heat flaring to life within her at the sight of his cotton-covered torso and memories of the lean form underneath. When she had grasped his appendage in both of her own, she drew it back and held it against her bosom. Inuyasha made a grunting noise, somewhere between a choke and a gasp, but made no move to retract his hand. That, and the way his eyes shone with a mixture of hope and dread, gave her the courage to finally speak the words she had held close to her heart for so long.
“I really do love you, Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha must have sensed her intentions from her tone or body language, for his eyeballs nearly burst from their sockets. The unadulterated want she had glimpsed earlier broke through his mask, even as he grimaced and glared down at the carpet again. Still, Kagome was encouraged. He wanted her as much as she did him, and it was not merely physical lust which drove either of them. But there was cause for concern, namely the guilt in his expression, the same remorse he had demonstrated before. And again, Kagome wondered why such an emotion was even on his radar screen.
“Kagome,” he said at last, apparently struggling with every syllable. “I-I can’t…”
She knew what he was trying to say. I can’t say the words you want to hear. I can’t be with you. She understood the first part of that sentiment, and honestly would have been shocked if he’d reciprocated her declaration of love. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be together, even if it was only for one night. She was not asking for timeless devotion; she had never forced Inuyasha to choose between herself and Kikyou, and was not about to start now. But if he would give her this one night—and he was obviously quite willing absent guilt holding him back—then she would welcome him with open arms. She wanted him to be her first, and more importantly, she wanted the privilege of being his first. For this night at least, her overpowering desire was to belong to him, and to have him give himself to her completely in return. Such all-encompassing love and possession could only be expressed in one way, through the act which itself was the ultimate expression of human adoration. If he would give her this one thing, this one, incredible act of unity, then she felt that, for one night at least, she could be complete.
“It’s okay,” she told him sincerely, raising her hand to caress his cheek again.
“No!” he snapped, jerking his head away. “It’s not fair to you!”
And Kagome understood. This was the reason behind his fear and guilt; he thought it was unfair to take something so precious from her when he did not yet know if he returned her feelings. That was a reasonable point of view, except for one fatal flaw. He was not taking anything from her; she was offering him everything freely. Her love, her body, all that she had to give—these were being given to him, so all he had to do was accept them, accept her, and join her in combining everything they were together to make something truly beautiful. It was as simple as that, and she was not about to let his misguided ideas of fairness hold them back.
“Why don’t you let me decide what’s fair and what’s not,” she soothed warmly. Then, without giving him time to respond, she slid forward off the bed, pressing her body and lips firmly against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She swallowed his surprised gasp, parting her lips and invading his mouth with her tongue, driven by the desperate boldness of one who knows this could very well be the last night she will ever spend with a beloved. There was no room for concealed truth, only honesty. And she would tolerate no more repressed desires, subdued by the torn and confused mind. She had seen his deep longing, and would draw it out of him by force if she had to.
But such persuasion proved unnecessary, for in the next instant Kagome found herself lying flat on the bed, pushed into the mattress by the weight of Inuyasha’s body above her. His arms were folded under her back, holding her so tightly to him that she swore he could feel his heartbeat against her breast, throbbing in time with her own. He assaulted her lips with a passion held back for far too long, driving her tongue back to duel with his own in the no-man’s-land between them. Kagome felt lightheaded, overwhelmed by the masculine aura washing over her. When he pulled away, she lay docilely, eyes closed, breathing hard.
Inuyasha leaned his forehead against hers, out of breath himself. He couldn’t believe it; he couldn’t possibly be about to make love to Kagome. This had to be a dream. But his occasional prurient dreams were never this vivid, and they had certainly never included a declaration of love. His subconscious had eliminated the one phrase which would make him feel the most guilty about doing anything with Kagome. But she did not feel that way, incredible as it seemed. She wanted to be with him, even though nothing was certain. She knew he might end up accompanying Kikyou to hell to fulfill his responsibilities to her, yet Kagome still desired to become one with him. She had offered him everything, even though he could give her no promises in return. And though their joining would certainly make it much harder for him to leave if it came to that, he knew that was not Kagome’s intention. She simply loved him, so deeply that he could not fathom the depths of her adoration, and was willing to content herself with the hope that one day he could return her feelings. All this, for one night. How could he deny her? And he vowed, on his very soul, that for this night at least, he would be completely, entirely hers.
He felt Kagome shift underneath him, her head tilting to the side just enough to bring her lips into contact with his again. They kissed this time with less urgency, and greater intent to enjoy and explore. And despite Inuyasha’s all-consuming focus on their combined mouths, he could not fail to notice when her hands resituated to other parts of his body, one sliding under his shirt to rest on his stomach, and the other firmly gripping his backside through his jeans. That demanding touch pulled his hips forcefully into hers and made him conscious of his growing erection, now straining uncomfortably against the restrictive confines of the modern pants. When he raised his hips slightly to adjust himself, Kagome took advantage of the space to run both her hands up to his chest, sliding his t-shirt out of the way as she went. Inuyasha clumsily pulled his arms through the sleeves and relinquished her lips just long enough to yank the garment over his head.
Kagome’s hands had their way with his now topless form, running over each inch of exposed skin as if seeking to memorize every muscled contour of his lean frame. How long had she wanted to caress him in this way? How long had she been forced to look and not truly touch as she treated his injuries? She could feel his body pulsing under her hands, sending delightful shocks through her nerves. All the while, he continued to plunder her mouth, as she worked on his body.
Inuyasha’s mind was quickly becoming clouded. The myriad of sensations threatened to swell his lust to overpowering levels. The blood raced through his veins; his body felt more alive than ever before. Kagome’s increasingly bold ministrations only added fuel to the fire building within, as did her subconscious yet seductive squirming underneath him. The most animalistic part of him wanted to tear off her clothes and ravish her, but fortunately, he had more control than that. Still, this was all becoming too much for him to bear. If he did not put a stop to the friction down below and the erotic attention to his upper body, he would end up making a fool of himself.
It took a great deal of effort to wrench himself away from her addictive embrace, but somehow he managed. He sat straight up, straddling her hips. Kagome attempted to follow, her hands racing for his chest, but he snatched them out of the air and brought them both down to the bed. Then he linked her slender wrists above her head, holding them both in one of his larger hands. She gazed up at him bemusedly but without trepidation, and perhaps even with a trace of anticipation in her chocolate orbs. He took a few moments to calm down, for all the good it did; he had a feeling his highly agitated body would not cool until he had released himself inside her.
But he was at last in a position to touch rather than be touched, and he did not hesitate. Kagome found her shirt hastily pushed up to her collarbone, her bra following shortly thereafter. Her skin erupted in goose bumps as Inuyasha soaked in the sight of her nearly nude upper body, her thighs shifting unconsciously at the hunger in his enraptured stare. She groaned softly in expectation, arching her back slightly. In the next instant his free hand was on her stomach, attacking her skin in the same way she had been stimulating his moments earlier. Calloused fingers swept across her torso, setting off thousands of tiny detonations in their wake. They were hard hands, belonging to a man whose every day was a fight for survival. And she loved them, just as she loved their owner. If anything, the coarse texture only thrilled her more.
Inuyasha’s palm suddenly settled on her breast, drawing a throaty moan from her. He squeezed and massaged, his movements not gentle but not too rough either. She gritted her teeth and threw her head back as his thumb brushed over a nipple, sending bolts of electricity straight to her core. She struggled feebly with his grip on her wrists, not pleading for release, but wishing his hand would go join its brother in assaulting her body. Inuyasha complied, and Kagome fisted her fingers in the sheets above her head, needing something to ground her as her hanyou-turned-human doubled his pleasuring of her ecstasy-heated form.
Finally, when it seemed the circuits in her breasts and stomach were close to burning out from the intensity of it all, she felt one of his hands sliding lower. She tensed in anticipation, parting her thighs and lifting her hips as he slid his intrepid appendage underneath her two layers of clothing.
Inuyasha felt a surge of male pride at his lover’s pleasured cry and the feel of her damp womanhood. It was he who had made her this wet, he who had her biting her lip as she mewled continuously. And he was quite certain that no one else possessed the ability to make him this hard, so amazingly aroused that all he could think about was sinking into her moist heat. But he could hold himself back for a few moments more, if it meant listening to those delightful moans of hers.
Kagome writhed on the bed, waves of rapture coursing through her body, setting her nerves aflame. In the remote vestiges of her mind still capable of rational thought, she was beginning to suspect that her lover intended to bring her to completion with his fingers. But then his hand was gone, and almost immediately her lower body exposed to the cool air. She dimly felt her jeans and panties being pulled off her ankles, and managed to open her eyes just in time to see Inuyasha shuck his own remaining clothing.
Her eyes widened at the sight of his erection, which seemed huge to her though she obviously had no basis for comparison. It throbbed fiercely, as if engorged by pure liquid lust. Kagome leaned up on her elbows, suddenly feeling a fair bit of apprehension. Was it her, or was this whole thing moving a little too fast? But Inuyasha’s methods, while somewhat crude, had certainly been effective. Physically, she was as ready as she was ever going to be. Mentally…well, she knew of one thing that might help her relax.
Inuyasha was climbing onto the bed now, settling himself over her. But before he could turn his attention to where their bodies would soon be joining, she took his face in both her hands and drew him in for another kiss. She moved her lips languidly against his, keeping her tongue to herself so as to ebb away some of the rampant passion rather than inflaming it further. Inuyasha seemed to understand what she needed, for he responded in kind, and gradually Kagome felt some of the tension in his body abate. The kiss seemed to reaffirm what they had temporarily forgotten, replacing some of the lust with soothing love and affection. And when Kagome pulled away minutes later, she lay back and gazed at him with a lazy smile. Clarity had returned to Inuyasha’s eyes, and her mind was now at peace, fully prepared to accept him into her body.
Inuyasha grinned back, feeling more like himself again. Desire still raged in his veins, but he no longer felt that it was controlling him. His expression softened, his eyes asking for permission. Kagome nodded happily, taking one of his hands and holding it to her bosom again. Humbled to the point of tears by the depth of her love, he blinked rapidly a few times to avoid embarrassment. But Kagome squeezed his hand; she knew. She knew he was struggling with his emotions, and for the life of him, he didn’t care. She was his friend, his lover, a person closer to him than he had ever thought possible. And tonight, she was his. For this one wondrous evening, they belonged to each other.
Breaking her gaze, he positioned himself at her entrance with his free hand. Then he pushed forward, watching her face as the tip of his cock entered her body. She tensed at the unfamiliar sensation, but nodded for him to continue. Slowly, so slowly that every ounce of restraint in his body was tested, Inuyasha pressed his hips forward. He had to grit his teeth to keep from thrusting hard, the sensations of burrowing between her incredibly tight virgin walls seemingly intensified by the slow pace. But he could not do that do her, especially since he could see the discomfort written all over her face. At last, he was sheathed within her to the hilt, and could go no further.
Kagome concentrated on breathing deeply as she adjusted to the new invasion. It was not as painful as she had feared; there had been a sharp pinch, and now a dull ache filled her lower body as her inner muscles were stretched. She was grateful for Inuyasha’s consideration, but refused to allow him to remain motionless any longer; he was obviously straining himself to stay still for her benefit. She rolled her hips, wringing a gasp from his lips, and squeezed his hand to signal her desire for him to move.
Inuyasha knew it was still uncomfortable for her, but found himself unable to resist her persuasion. He drew out and gently pushed back in, then did it again. He quickly established a rhythm, thrusting in time with the grunts and groans wrenched helplessly from his throat. She was so tight; with every movement, her walls seemed to be trying to draw his very essence from his cock. He wanted to slow down, to give her more time to adjust and feel good as well, but her legs wrapped around his hips and her hands ghosting over his back encouraged him to find his own pleasure. He couldn’t resist her; he wasn’t going to last much longer.
Kagome’s smile never wavered as she watched him labor above her. His skin broke out in a fine sheen of sweat, his eyes tightly clenched as he panted sporadically. She rose to meet him, thrusting her hips to bring him as much pleasure as possible. For this wasn’t about her physical needs. She didn’t care about her lingering discomfort, or that she would not reach the type of completion he was hurtling towards at breakneck speed. She was enjoying another kind of completion, one which swelled her heart and brought joyous tears to her eyes.
She jerked suddenly at the flash of a strange sensation. It happened again on his next thrust, as if his cock was hitting somewhere deep inside her, a hidden pleasure zone which sent thrills streaming through her body. Her mind started to become clouded with this bliss, similar to the gratification he had brought her with his fingers, yet deeper, more potent. A moan broke unbidden past her lips, in perfect harmony with his escalating groans. Then, just as suddenly, she felt Inuyasha stiffen above her with a strangled cry, and warm liquid flooded into her belly. Kagome buried her fleeting disappointment, holding him close as ecstasy gripped his shuddering form.
Finally, he collapsed on top of her, breath heaving rapidly against her shoulder. She ran her hands soothingly through his midnight black hair, wishing he had his hanyou ears; maybe he wouldn’t mind letting her rub them in this situation. Eventually, his breathing slowed, and he propped himself on his elbows, gazing down at her with an expression of overwhelming gratitude. She beamed, then leaned up and placed one final chaste kiss upon his lips. She was the grateful one.
A sudden shiver swept through her; evidently she had forgotten to turn up the heat in the hotel room. Funny how she hadn’t noticed the cold until now. Inuyasha did notice her shiver, however, and rose to his feet. He pulled the sheets from underneath her, then laid them over her body. She scooted over so he could climb into bed beside her. He settled in facing her, sparing one more thankful glance before closing his eyes. Kagome was surprised and elated when his hand grasped hers, holding it tenderly as he drifted off.
She watched him sleep for a few minutes, amazed at how peaceful he looked. A common view was that boys became men when they first slept with a woman, but Kagome felt that it worked in reverse for Inuyasha. He looked so innocent, so carefree in sleep; it was as though Inuyasha, already made a man by years of hardship, had reverted back to boyhood for just this one slumber. His childhood had probably been the last time before tonight that he had felt truly loved. And the knowledge that she had been the one to reacquaint him with such love was simply incredible to her. It was probably the most rewarding thing about this night.
But one thing that was not especially satisfying was the stickiness clinging to her inner thighs. Yes, a shower and a change of clothes were definitely in order. Her shirt and bra were still pulled up under her shoulders, not to mention the socks on her feet; Inuyasha had apparently decided not to remove them in his frenzy. It was not as though they had gotten in the way, after all.
Rolling carefully out of bed, Kagome got a fresh set of clothes from her bag and walked to the bathroom. She paused on the threshold, glancing back for one more indulgence in the vision of her lover sleeping soundly. Sighing blissfully, she went to clean herself up.
(1) Japanese love hotels are what you would expect: hotels designed for and marketing to couples who wish to have sex. There is not the social stigma associated with what we might call a “love hotel” here in America, as they are not just used by prostitutes, but also legitimate couples wishing for time alone. It makes sense, considering the population density and extended family structure over there. I found a really interesting and informative article linked to the Wikipedia page, here: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/article490761.ece. Japan-guide.com also had a decent page
(2) The Japanese have a lot of weird flavors of ice cream, like ‘fish’ and ‘wasabi’ for example, but I also found some that we Americans would consider normal
(3) Overall, Japan has a much lower crime rate than the U.S. (surprise, surprise). But where there are cities, there is crime, so Kagome’s experience can’t be that unusual. The lower crime rate could also explain why something so obvious to us (don’t walk alone in the city at night) might not be so obvious to a Japanese person like Kagome. So don’t be too hard on her, folks!
A/N – Well, that was definitely the most unsatisfying lemon I’ve ever written, at least in the purely physical sense. By design, of course. Most people, including myself in the past, portray Inuyasha as being a somewhat better lover the first time, but I think this depiction is realistic too. When the adrenaline starts pumping and the blood starts flowing, it can be hard for a guy to slow down while doing anything, let alone sex. In the words of Jeff Foxworthy, “men are like bottle rockets.” (I love the Blue Collar Comedy specials)
And if it seems like this came out of nowhere, it was supposed to. I’ve been building up the romance pretty much the whole story, but this was a definite leap ahead. But that’s fine too; it’s a fact of life that sex sometimes happens spontaneously, even between people who normally would not act in such a manner. More explanation (or is that justification?) next chapter, when we take a look at the ever-fascinating “morning after.” Until then!
Converting /tmp/phpnHHIEr to /dev/stdout
The Lover’s Delight
“Oh, damn it all to hell!” Kagome swore, earning a surprised look from her companion. Still, Inuyasha couldn’t blame her for the outburst.
Studying their map of Japan had made Kagome realize how big the Tokyo Metropolis really was. Seeking to minimize the amount of time they would have to spend in an urban setting, she had led them down through the mountainous region to the west of the city. They had entered the metropolis this morning, passing through smaller sub-cities like Hamura and Nishitokyo on the way to the main city where the Higurashi shrine was located. Now it was evening, and they were perhaps no more than a few miles from their final destination. But no more progress could be made tonight; the moonless sky above guaranteed that. They had spent the last several hours seeking lodging, a safe place for Inuyasha to spend his night of weakness. But this was a busy weekend in Tokyo, with a huge economics conference and a cultural festival attracting tourists. Every hotel they had visited had either been completely booked or out of their price range. Thus far at least, their little excursion in the mountains was indeed biting them in the ass.
Still, Kagome could not bring herself to regret their brief vacation. The days since had been full of laughter, competitive card games, and awkward romantic moments. Their stay at the ryokan had both revitalized and pushed them closer together. So if the consequences were having a rough time finding a hotel, or even not finding one at all, they would deal with them without complaining too much. Even so, Kagome was tired, sore, and officially out of patience. And she knew that Inuyasha, with his human body, was feeling just as miserable as she. They really needed to rest somewhere for awhile, even if it was just on a park bench.
“Inuyasha, can you smell any trees—oh, sorry.”
“Keh.”
“We’ll go to a couple more hotels, and then find a restaurant or something to sit in, okay?”
He nodded, and they set off again. Inuyasha was both perturbed and impressed by the number and variety of lights illuminating the city. The humans certainly knew how to compensate for their weak vision. But didn’t it concern them that if they strayed even a little outside the curtain of radiance, they would be almost completely blind? There were dark spots in the city, murky alleyways and dim sidewalks. As someone from a far wilder, more dangerous time, he could not help but look into every shadowy recess, even though his eyes were now useless to penetrate the void. Kami, I hate being human.
He reiterated to himself that it would be over soon, and turned his attention to the girl leading him down the sidewalk. In the flicker caused by passing vehicles and pedestrians, he glimpsed the dark bags under her eyes, and the slight hobble to her gait. Again, he cursed the state of his body. If he’d been hanyou, he could have found them a deserted rooftop to camp out on, safe from the mass of humanity below. Instead they were forced to find shelter the human way, and since he was utterly lost in this exotic steel and concrete world, Kagome had to lead the way. She had to take care of him, rather than the other way around. And he hated that, more than anything else.
She paused, facing a somewhat odd looking building, seemingly debating with herself. After a moment she set her jaw and pulled him toward the entrance. Inuyasha had just enough time to look up and read “The Lover’s Delight” spelled out in bright pink and green neon lights before he was inside. And if he wasn’t already sure this place was different from any other hotel they had tried, what he saw inside confirmed it. A man and a woman stood giggling, reading from some sort of board with pictures on it in the wall to the right of the door. The man pulled a ‘Miroku’ and slipped his hand onto her backside, but the woman didn’t seem to care; if anything, her body language only encouraged him. After a moment, she pulled away and spoke to someone behind a pane of glass through which only a vague outline could be seen. Money and a key were passed through a small opening at the bottom, and the couple went on their way. It was exceedingly obvious that they only had one thing on their minds.
Inuyasha looked at Kagome, confused and even faintly aroused by the intensity of that display. She was slightly flushed as well, though that appeared to be in embarrassment. She wouldn’t meet his gaze, and seemed to be waiting for him to ask the burning question. So he did.
“Kagome, what the hell is this place?”
“I-it’s called a ‘love hotel,’ Inuyasha. Couples come here to…you know, make love. I just thought—since it seems relatively nice and we can afford it…but if you don’t want to stay we can just—” (1)
“It’s fine with me,” he cut her off gruffly. The thought of going back outside was appalling; he wanted a warm room and a soft bed, and he didn’t really care where he got it. If it was in a hotel where everyone else was having sex, then so be it. At least the smells and sounds from the other rooms wouldn’t bother him tonight.
“O-okay,” Kagome stuttered, apparently surprised at his response. She led him over to the glass divider, having already selected a room from the board. The cost was seven thousand yen, which Kagome exchanged for a key. Inuyasha knew that was almost all of their remaining funds, but their journey would be ending tomorrow one way or another, so it didn’t really matter.
Their room itself was not all that different from the other hotels they had stayed at, though several key features had definitely received upgrades. The bed was huge and appeared incredibly comfortable, and there was a big TV set up across from the foot of it, perfect for the couple who wished to enjoy adult programming in bed. The colors of the walls and the style of the furniture were more exotic as well, and a modern male might have appreciated the subtle sexual appeal of the room. But as he was from a time with its own very distinct views on what was and wasn’t sexy, most of this flew right over Inuyasha’s head.
“Why don’t you take a bath?” Kagome practically ordered as soon as he stepped into the room, pushing him toward the bathroom. “I’m sure you wouldn’t mind a nice soak.”
True as that might be, her forceful demeanor made him suspicious. “You go first,” he said. “I can wait.”
“I insist!” she exclaimed with false cheer, shoving him the rest of the way and closing the door behind him. Inuyasha frowned, then shook his head and gave up. She was acting weird, but it would do no good to fight with her about it. Especially not when a hot bath sounded so alluring. His feet were killing him, cold and achy in the cheap sandals Kagome had bought for him when the sun went down. He had complained at the time, but now he was glad for her thoughtfulness. Without it, his feet would surely be in much worse shape. Still, a long soak would feel divine, on both his feet and the rest of his body.
Kagome heaved a relieved sigh when she heard the water turn on, glad she had managed to avoid further mortification. She quickly stalked to the bed and snatched the condoms off the pillows, tossing them in a drawer. She did not want to have to explain what those little circles in the square wrappers were. And she also didn’t want to try to rationalize the suggestive-looking pamphlet on the nightstand, no doubt advertising the many erotic options available through room service. Purely for curiosity’s sake, she picked it up and flipped through it. Yep, it was pretty much what she expected—toys and costumes for both sexes, and some kinkier paraphernalia in the back that made her blanch. She was not surprised to find a ‘naughty schoolgirl’ costume, but she was mildly offended at its similarity to her own uniform. The skirt was a near match in color and design, though it was perhaps a little shorter than hers. The navel and cleavage-revealing top, on the other hand, probably contained less than half the fabric that her uniform did. At least the people who designed for the school got that part right. She had grown accustomed to the short skirt over the years, but would certainly not complain if the school came out with a longer version. Idly she wondered if she would ever have the chance to wear that uniform again.
Shaking her head of such thoughts, Kagome looked around the room to see what other embarrassment she could avoid. The TV—she didn’t even want to turn on the TV. No doubt the previous occupants had left it on an erotic channel, and she didn’t want to take the chance that a bored hanyou-turned-human would stumble across a pornographic movie while she was in the bath. The remote was promptly thrown in the drawer with the pamphlet and condoms, and she even unplugged the TV itself for good measure. Then she set her bag down in front of the drawer, reducing the chance that Inuyasha would decide to go snooping there. Finally satisfied that she had done all she could to make their stay as non-awkward as possible, she flopped back on the bed.
A groan escaped her lips as she sank into the comfy mattress with its plush bedding, twisting slightly to work the kinks out of her sore back. She gazed listlessly up at the ceiling, reflecting on the absurdity of it all. I can’t believe I’m in a love hotel with Inuyasha. She chuckled to herself with a wry smirk. Oh, in other circumstances… It seemed like a nice enough place, just nowhere she would ever usually go near. After all, what was a love hotel without a lover? Stupid Tokyo! I forgot how expensive everything is here. They had been lucky to find a place, so she would count her blessings. At least the smells and sounds from the other rooms won’t keep Inuyasha up tonight.
*growl*
Speaking of sounds, her stomach had just reminded her of how hungry she was. There was some ninja food left, but the thought of eating it made her grimace. What she really felt like was an ice cream, but that wasn’t going to— Wait, hadn’t they passed an ice cream shop a block or two before finding this hotel? She was almost positive. Digging in her pocket, she pulled out the last of their traveling money. Four hundred eighty-five yen…that’s enough for a couple cones, right? There was a danger, of course, but it was so small as to be negligible. Their pursuers couldn’t possibly know they were here, and the chances of being spotted and recognized in a city of twelve million people were slim to none. And she wanted an ice cream, dammit!
Decision made, Kagome hopped off the bed and crept to the door; Inuyasha wouldn’t even know she was gone. He would of course be royally pissed that she had left without him, but she was sure a cool, tasty treat would mollify his temper. And if not, she would just push him into the tub again to cool off by more direct means. Snickering, she went out into the hallway and locked the door behind her.
* * *
Kagome hummed softly to herself as she made her way back to the hotel. She took another lick of her watermelon and peach swirl ice cream, and closed her eyes in bliss. (2) It tasted divine, like a cool spring at the end of a long trek through the desert. To her, this was worth a lot more than the two hundred thirty-five yen she paid for it. She had gotten Inuyasha the same thing and given the last fifteen yen as a tip. So they were now officially broke, but Kagome didn’t care. Modern money wouldn’t help them tomorrow. She and Inuyasha definitely needed to hold a strategy meeting, but that could wait until after they were both fed and refreshed. Speaking of which, she would probably have to knock on the door and tell Inuyasha to cover up so she could give him his ice cream; otherwise it would melt. But was that an unfortunate oversight, or just a convenient excuse to walk in on him in the bath? She shook her head, and turned her attention back to her surroundings. Her humming abruptly died away as she noticed just how dark and empty this side of the street was. She had approached the ice cream shop on the other side, but in her distraction she had forgotten to re-cross afterwards. And now she found herself on the sidewalk of this very deserted city block, with no lights shining in the windows of the apparently abandoned building above her, and the streetlights knocked out by vandalism or neglect. She looked up and down the street, realizing with disappointment that the traffic was too heavy to attempt a crossing here. I’ll cross at the next intersection, she told herself, quickening her pace as pangs of fear settled in her belly. The lamp at the corner glimmered like a beacon of hope, calling out to her. She walked faster still, not daring to peer into the shadowy recesses of the buildings or the oppressively dark alleyways for fear of acknowledging what might be lurking there, or admitting that those soft footsteps her terrified mind was conjuring were actually—
It happened in an instant. She barely had time to let out a muffled yelp as a large hand covered her mouth, pulling her head back against a solid male chest as his other arm wrapped around her torso. He quickly dragged her into a nearby alley, unhindered by her frantic but ineffectual struggles. Kagome’s mind was drowning in white hot panic, and overwhelming despair. She had ruined everything. She had gotten herself captured by Yoshida again; he would force her to tell him where Inuyasha was. Then her beloved hanyou would be taken. And she knew, one way or another, she would never see Inuyasha again.
“Quit wiggling, bitch,” a low, coarse voice hissed in her ear. The feel and stench of his breath made her want to retch. A knife was produced, waved in front of her eyes for a moment and then held against her neck so she could feel the metallic bite of the blade into her tender flesh. Kagome froze instinctively as a trickle of blood flowed down under her shirt. It was not so much her life that flashed before her eyes, but the last few weeks with her hanyou. I’m so sorry, Inuyasha…
“Good,” the man barked. “Now give me your fuckin’ money, and I’ll let you go.”
Kagome’s consciousness slowed to a crawl. There was no reason for one of Yoshida’s lackeys to say something like that, unless… So…this man was not affiliated with Yoshida at all! Her body flooded with relief, even as a new type of fear gripped her. Although she had not endangered Inuyasha’s safety with her recklessness, she was still being mugged. She was still being held by a very strong man with a very sharp knife, both of which were demanding payment in exchange for her release. And she had nothing to give him.
Her attempt to convey that information came out as a stifled mess because of her captor’s hand, but he understood.
“Don’t bullshit me, bitch!” he snarled, punctuating his words with more pressure from the knife. “Teenage girls don’t run around with no money. Now give me the fuckin’ cash and credit cards or I’ll start carving up that pretty face of yours!”
Kagome whimpered, pure terror finally overwhelming her. She was about to be murdered! This man would either kill her because he thought she was lying, or kill her out of anger once he found out she was telling the truth. The tendrils of experience in deadly encounters by which she had been holding herself together until this point finally snapped, broken by this hopeless situation and her utter helplessness. She sobbed, tears running freely down her cheeks as she waited for the final blow to fall, praying that it would end quickly.
But nothing happened. For an eternity that was in reality only a few seconds, her attacker stood silently, neither tightening his hold nor moving to release her.
“You’re really broke, aren’t you?” he said finally, frustration evident in his tone. He removed his hand from her mouth, but it still hovered a couple inches away. The message was clear—he wanted to hear what she had to say, but if she inhaled in preparation for a scream, the hand would return and the knife would plunge into her flesh.
“Yes!” Kagome exclaimed in a hoarse whisper. “I-I come from a poor family. I spent the last yen I had on those ice creams. Please, believe me! Please, don’t hurt m—”
“Shut up!” her captor growled, silencing her with his hand yet again. Suddenly the knife was gone from her throat, but he tightened his grip on her head and she dared not move a muscle. The next thing she knew, his now weaponless hand was reaching inside the front pocket of her jeans. He proceeded to search all her pockets in this manner, his actions entirely businesslike. Still, he was touching places on her body where unfamiliar male hands should not be, and her cheeks flushed in indignation. Next he made her lift her feet one at a time so he could feel inside her socks and shoes. Finally, he reached up under her shirt, pushed her bra out of the way and explored the inside of that garment too, unavoidably contacting her breasts in the process. Finally, he withdrew his hand, and Kagome released the tortured breath she had been holding.
Her captor sighed. “Why can’t I ever get a rich girl?” he muttered.
And suddenly she was free, stumbling uncontrollably out of the alley courtesy of a healthy shove in the back. She fell gracelessly to the ground, scraping her forearms in the process, but the pain didn’t register. She spun around and looked into the alley, but she could see no one within those shadowy depths. The sudden urge to flee struck her hard, and she scrambled to her feet and took off. The streetlamp at the corner seemed miles away as the pavement before her stretched and elongated before her eyes. But at long last she reached the light, skidding to a stop just before colliding with a couple chatting on the sidewalk. She bent over, breathing heavily with her hands on her knees.
“Are you alright?” the man asked, his female companion looking on with concern.
“Huh?” Kagome mumbled, gazing blankly up at him. With her wits as scattered as they were, it took her a moment to pull enough of them together to manage a coherent response. “Oh…yeah, fine.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, glancing to the crosswalk and observing the change of the signal. Immediately she was on the move, marching rapidly across the street, her eyes on the hotel and only one thought on her mind. She had to get back to the only place in the world that was safe. She had to get back to Inuyasha.
How she made it to their room without breaking down Kagome would never know, but the instant her backside sank into the mattress, the dam on her raging emotions burst. All the fear, all the desperation and despair came pouring out of her in waves of tears and wracking sobs. She flopped onto her side, buried her face in the pillow, and curled into a ball.
This is how Inuyasha found her when he emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, still crying but no longer gripped by convulsion-like sobs. He was kneeling by her side in an instant, sniffing furiously for any sign of injury before remembering that his nose would do him no good tonight. Not knowing what else to do, he placed his hand on her shoulder and shook her slightly to get her attention. She lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying. But he still found them beautiful because of the emotion swimming there; she was incredibly happy to see him.
“Inu…yasha…” she breathed, reaching out and running the backs of her fingers along his cheek, as if to make sure he was really there. He shook her off, loath to admit how such a simple gesture affected him.
Inuyasha was torn between embracing her and demanding answers, but he did neither. The first order of business was to tend to her wounds, to facilitated healing and make sure they did not become infected. The ones he could see were superficial, and she did not have any visible bloodstains on her clothing aside from the one on her shirt caused by that suspiciously straight-looking cut on her neck. After rummaging around in her backpack for the small first aid kit she had purchased, he marched to the bathroom and returned with a damp washcloth and clean towel. He then proceeded to clean the scrapes on her forearms. She watched him the whole time but made no comment, though she did wince a few times as he was forced to scrub some stubborn dirt off. When at last the injuries were clean, he applied antibiotic ointment and bandages. He was surprised by how easy it was for him; watching her take care of him so many times had obviously left a mark. Finally, he did the same for the cut on her neck as Kagome lay passively, her eyes closed and her breathing deep and relaxed. It seemed being cared for by him had been therapeutic for her; she was no longer crying, and appeared much calmer than before. And only when he saw this did Inuyasha ask the question which had been burning a hole in his thoughts.
“Kami, Kagome. Are you okay?”
And then she did the most incredible thing—she smiled. It was hesitant and barely there, but it was a smile nonetheless, and it washed away much of the tension in his body. She would not be wearing that expression if she was not truly alright. Her next words confirmed it.
“I’m fine…now,” she added, grinning wider at his embarrassed flush, and moving her hand to caress his cheek again. He snatched her wayward appendage out of the air, as much because he desired the contact as to stop her from doing that.
“But what the hell happened?” he demanded.
Kagome grimaced and looked away, shame coloring her features. She clearly did not want to tell him how she had come to be a weeping mess on the bed, but Inuyasha was sure as hell not going to let it drop.
“Kagome…” he said, squeezing her hand.
She took a deep, shuddering breath, and finally spoke with her eyes still fixed anywhere but him. “I went out to get us some ice cream, and—”
“You went out? Out out, like out of this hotel out? Why the fuck would you do that?!”
Kagome finally met his gaze, but it was with an anger burning in her eyes that caused him to back up a few inches.
“I know it was stupid!” she snapped. “But go ahead and yell at me why don’t you?!”
Part of him wanted to do just that, but a more influential part realized that this was not the time for scolding; he had to get to the bottom of what happened before he could fully understand.
“Okay, so what happened next?” he asked as calmly as he could. She seemed surprised that he was not shouting, and it took her a moment to gather her bearings and continue the story.
“I was on my way back from the ice cream shop, and some guy g-grabbed me. At first I thought he was with Yoshida, but it turned out he just wanted money. I told him I didn’t have any, and he s-s-searched me, and then let me go.”
Inuyasha could tell that was the highly abridged version of the story, but that wasn’t what bothered him. One word in particular stood out, and set his stomach churning.
“He searched you?” he repeated, his alarm rising exponentially as Kagome cringed and curled into herself, wrapping her arms over her body. Inuyasha felt his blood boil. He wasn’t stupid, and he knew where the pockets were in those jeans of hers. Some bastard had touched her in those places, and who knows where else! It obviously hadn’t gone that far, or she would be much more shaken up than this. It had probably not been much worse than the shit Miroku sometimes pulled. That was what he tried to tell himself, at least, but somehow it didn’t make him feel any better. The thought of some filthy animal running his hands all over Kagome made him want to run outside and hunt the dirtbag down. But there was nothing he could do, and he cursed his human body and senses more ardently than ever before. Though perhaps the timing of his night of weakness was not so bad, for Kagome clearly needed him right now. It was a fair tradeoff, he decided, losing his chance to exact revenge in exchange for a greater ability to comfort the traumatized woman beside him.
And with that thought in mind, he decided not to ask her any more about her unpleasant experience. No matter how badly his morbid curiosity desired more detail, he would stifle it to avoid making her relive those terrible moments. Which was probably what she was doing at this very instant, he realized. Wanting to distract her, he said the first thing that came to mind, continuing with their previous topic of conversation.
“So you went out to get us, what, that cold ice stuff?” he asked, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. He was satisfied that she did not cringe at his touch, but instead turned her attention to him once more.
“Hm?” Kagome mumbled, seemingly surprised that he had dropped the subject of her ‘search.’ But he saw real gratitude in her gaze, and was suddenly quite glad for the increased influence of his human emotions. He had no doubt they had and would continue to help him handle this situation the right way.
“Oh!” Kagome exclaimed, biting her lower lip remorsefully. “I guess I dropped them. I’m sorry, Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha stared at her, utterly dumbfounded. You have got to be fucking kidding me. She’s apologizing for that?! He gritted his teeth, hard pressed not to explode on the spot. But human emotions or no, he was still Inuyasha, and Inuyasha could only react one way to a statement as completely moronic as that one.
“Who gives a flying fuck about a stupid ‘ice cream,’ Kagome?! You should be apologizing for scaring the living shit out of me! How could you put your life in danger over a fucking snack?!”
Again, Kagome’s temper rose to match his verbal challenge. “I didn’t…I mean, I didn’t mean to—ugh!” She took a deep breath to gather her thoughts, then spoke in a contrite but still defiant tone. “I was thinking that the chances of Yoshida’s gang finding me were miniscule, and I was right! But I guess I forgot how dangerous the city can be, especially at night, especially when you’re alone.” (3)
Inuyasha didn’t reply; there was really nothing he could add to that. She knew why what she did was stupid, and she surely knew not to do it again. But just to be sure…
“Promise me,” he ordered, “that you won’t leave my side until we’re back on the other side of the well.”
Kagome studied him for a moment, then nodded. “I promise.”
Inuyasha slumped visibly at her words, though he remained kneeling next to the bed. His relief was short-lived.
Kagome laughed, a dry, humorless sound. “I guess I’ll have to stay with you constantly, seeing as how I’m so damn helpless.”
Inuyasha frowned, taken slightly aback. This was unlike Kagome; she was usually so confident and strong-willed, and almost never self-denigrated like that. He supposed the thing to do was to deny her allegation, and the surprising thing was that he didn’t have to think very hard to come up with an appropriate response. The words just came to him, though perhaps from somewhere other than his painfully ineloquent mind.
“You’re not helpless, Kagome,” he said sternly, drawing her shocked gaze. He held it with his own, unflinching in his conviction. “If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead at the hands of Sesshoumaru, Naraku, or any of the dozens of other youkai who could’ve done me in. Your strength…isn’t physical. But it’s real. You think it’s my charming personality that holds our little gang together? It ain’t. It’s you. You took Shippou in, you got Sango to open up, and you’re even starting to help the bouzu realize that it might not be the best idea to grab ass whenever he sees a pretty lady.
“And me,” he spoke lower, finally breaking the ocular connection between them. “You showed me that my ideas about strength were wrong. It’s not just about how powerful your youki is, or how easily you can rip oni apart with your bare hands. It’s…well, you know. Keh,” he barked softly, starting to lose his nerve. He still couldn’t bring himself to say something incredibly sappy like ‘It’s about the friends you have, and the people you’ll die to protect.’ Even in his human state, he wasn’t quite there yet. That was fine; Kagome’s eyes were already shining with happy tears. But he had one more thing he wanted to say, so he plucked up his courage and met her beautiful brown eyes once more.
“And most of all, you taught me that everyone deserves a second chance.”
Kagome stared at him, then spoke quietly but with a degree of earnestness. “If you had been hanyou tonight, what would you have done?”
“Gone after the bastard,” Inuyasha answered without hesitation.
“Would you have killed him?”
Inuyasha thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. “No. I would’ve roughed him up, probably threatened to kill him if I found out he ever touched a woman like that again. But I wouldn’t have killed him.”
Kagome smiled again, this time a full beam with no hint of darkness tugging at the edges. “That’s why you deserve a second chance, Inuyasha,” she declared. Then, as if as an afterthought, she added, “At everything.”
Inuyasha froze, his eyes wide as saucers. The first part of her statement was not all that surprising; she was referring to the inner goodness of his heart. It was a nice compliment, and he would have taken it as such. But those last two words had thrown him for a loop. He knew exactly what Kagome meant by them; his shock stemmed from the fact that she would voice them aloud. For ‘everything’ clearly encompassed everything he had been doing before being sealed to Goshinboku, including the development of a fatally flawed relationship with a certain deceased miko. And since Kagome was definitely not encouraging him to try to rekindle his lost love with Kikyou, that left only one possibility.
How did one respond to such a simple yet profound statement? It amounted to a declaration of love, and she had certainly never said anything like it to his face before. Should he play dumb? He possessed a fair understanding of Kagome’s feelings for him, but she was probably unaware of that knowledge; perhaps she expected the comment to go over his head. But the thought of pretending to ignore those two words left a sour taste in his mouth. At any rate, it was a little late to play dumb now; Kagome’s expression was already shifting to one of alarm, undoubtedly caused by his unexpectedly intense reaction to her words.
So what could he do? Confess his love for her? How could he do that when his own feelings were still uncertain, when he could not bring himself to let Kikyou go? So he couldn’t play dumb and he couldn’t say the words she wanted to hear. No matter what he said, he was going to end up hurting her. And if he stayed silent, the result would be the same. He was, in a word, screwed.
But looking into her eyes, so full of caring even as rising trepidation crept in, grounded him. An idea formed, somewhere away from his brain, somewhere further south. But it spread quickly, becoming almost instinctual as mere notion shifted to desire. Inuyasha, quite literally, acted without thinking.
He leaned down and kissed her. It was chaste, but there was no hesitation or doubt in the firm press of his lips against hers. Then, after barely a second of contact, his conscious mind caught up with him, and he jerked back just as quickly as he had swooped in.
A sinking feeling settled rapidly in the pit of his stomach. What in the names of all the Kami had he just done? What kind of utter stupidity had driven him to do something like that? Never mind how nice it had felt for that fleeting instant, or how his heart was now aflutter. He had no right to kiss her. It wasn’t fair to Kagome, that someone who didn’t even know if he loved her or not had stolen a kiss, and probably her first kiss to boot. He wasn’t just an idiot; he was an asshole. And if he ever wanted to be able to look her in the eyes again, he needed to apologize right now and pray she forgave him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, hanging his head and pinching his eyes shut.
Kagome had not even had time to close her eyes. One moment he was there, nose-to-nose sharing the pressure of his lips. The next moment he was gone, and she was left staring up at the ceiling and wondering whether she had wishfully imagined the whole thing. But the warm tingle still cascading over her lips told her otherwise. She reached up with a shaking hand and prodded one with her index finger.
And then she heard him apologize.
Her initial reaction was hurt, a gut-wrenching sensation that seemed to twist her insides in a knot. But when her eyes flew to him, her pain melted away. He certainly did not appear to regret kissing her for his own sake, nor did his tone of voice indicate that motive now that she thought about it. He looked like he thought she was going to be angry at him. He was begging for forgiveness for doing something wrong. Kagome nearly let out a frustrated laugh as comprehension dawned. After all this time, he still thought she would mind if he kissed her? How dense could a person possibly be? But that was a stupid question, because Inuyasha had always been that dense where romantic matters were concerned. And it would not be so easy to correct his misunderstanding. She could tell him it was okay until she was blue in the face, but his body language was indicating that words would not be enough to assuage his guilt for the great wrong he had committed upon her. Something else was required, and Kagome knew only one thing would do the trick. The fact that she had been waiting for ages to do this was an added bonus.
Inuyasha heard the bed creak as she sat up, and tensed, not sure if she was going to slap him silly or storm right past him. The last thing he expected was for her fingers to tenderly cup his cheek, drawing his face up with gentle pressure. He opened his eyes just in time to see hers slide shut as she leaned closer.
Kagome sensed the tension in his body through his lips, the rigidity with which he held himself. But she refused to back down; she maintained their contact, her lips held softly against his. And gradually, she felt him relax against her, until he was leaning forward, his lips moving ever so slightly against her own. When she pulled away, he followed her unconsciously for a few inches, and it took him a moment to reopen his eyes and fixed his dazed gaze upon her once more. Then, for a brief instant, his expression morphed into something that made Kagome gasp. He had never looked at her like that before, his heavy-lidded stare filled with rampant desire and something else she didn’t trust herself to identify. In that moment she felt truly beloved, coveted at every level. But then he snapped upright, his emotion-repressing mask firmly back in place.
Kagome frowned, somehow hating this mask which she had come to accept as a part of him. After everything that had happened, after the physical intimacy they had just shared, it seemed like a travesty if they were not truly honest with each other for once. Such openness would clearly have to start from her end, however, so she chose her words carefully before speaking. The pause also gave her a chance to gather her thoughts, and realize one thing the last few minutes had shown her quite plainly.
“So I’m guessing you already know how I feel about you,” she finally said, glancing shyly over at him.
Inuyasha quickly flushed beat red, and managed a flustered nod. Kagome was glad to see his discomfiture; she didn’t know how that knowledge made him feel, but it definitely wasn’t nothing.
“How long have you known?” she asked, no hint of anger in her tone.
“Awhile,” he answered reluctantly. But Kagome merely nodded; she had expected as much. Looking back on their time together, she supposed she had made it fairly obvious, even when she wasn’t screaming it at the top of her lungs while possessed by infant youkai. Perhaps Inuyasha was not so dense after all. But then why had he looked so fearful after kissing her?
As she thought about the best way to bring this up, Kagome was struck by the situation they found themselves in. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, Inuyasha’s upper body only a foot or two away as he knelt before her. His face was so close; those amber eyes filled her vision. Possibilities flew threw her mind, tantalizing images of where this could lead…and where she wanted it to lead. The clarity of her inner desires surprised her; they seemed to flow from almost every fiber of her being. The small darkness within her was the lone dissenter, but it was weak against the torrent of love and yearning which poured forth from every other corner of her heart and soul.
She allowed her eyes to trail down his body as she reached for his hand, tingling heat flaring to life within her at the sight of his cotton-covered torso and memories of the lean form underneath. When she had grasped his appendage in both of her own, she drew it back and held it against her bosom. Inuyasha made a grunting noise, somewhere between a choke and a gasp, but made no move to retract his hand. That, and the way his eyes shone with a mixture of hope and dread, gave her the courage to finally speak the words she had held close to her heart for so long.
“I really do love you, Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha must have sensed her intentions from her tone or body language, for his eyeballs nearly burst from their sockets. The unadulterated want she had glimpsed earlier broke through his mask, even as he grimaced and glared down at the carpet again. Still, Kagome was encouraged. He wanted her as much as she did him, and it was not merely physical lust which drove either of them. But there was cause for concern, namely the guilt in his expression, the same remorse he had demonstrated before. And again, Kagome wondered why such an emotion was even on his radar screen.
“Kagome,” he said at last, apparently struggling with every syllable. “I-I can’t…”
She knew what he was trying to say. I can’t say the words you want to hear. I can’t be with you. She understood the first part of that sentiment, and honestly would have been shocked if he’d reciprocated her declaration of love. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be together, even if it was only for one night. She was not asking for timeless devotion; she had never forced Inuyasha to choose between herself and Kikyou, and was not about to start now. But if he would give her this one night—and he was obviously quite willing absent guilt holding him back—then she would welcome him with open arms. She wanted him to be her first, and more importantly, she wanted the privilege of being his first. For this night at least, her overpowering desire was to belong to him, and to have him give himself to her completely in return. Such all-encompassing love and possession could only be expressed in one way, through the act which itself was the ultimate expression of human adoration. If he would give her this one thing, this one, incredible act of unity, then she felt that, for one night at least, she could be complete.
“It’s okay,” she told him sincerely, raising her hand to caress his cheek again.
“No!” he snapped, jerking his head away. “It’s not fair to you!”
And Kagome understood. This was the reason behind his fear and guilt; he thought it was unfair to take something so precious from her when he did not yet know if he returned her feelings. That was a reasonable point of view, except for one fatal flaw. He was not taking anything from her; she was offering him everything freely. Her love, her body, all that she had to give—these were being given to him, so all he had to do was accept them, accept her, and join her in combining everything they were together to make something truly beautiful. It was as simple as that, and she was not about to let his misguided ideas of fairness hold them back.
“Why don’t you let me decide what’s fair and what’s not,” she soothed warmly. Then, without giving him time to respond, she slid forward off the bed, pressing her body and lips firmly against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She swallowed his surprised gasp, parting her lips and invading his mouth with her tongue, driven by the desperate boldness of one who knows this could very well be the last night she will ever spend with a beloved. There was no room for concealed truth, only honesty. And she would tolerate no more repressed desires, subdued by the torn and confused mind. She had seen his deep longing, and would draw it out of him by force if she had to.
But such persuasion proved unnecessary, for in the next instant Kagome found herself lying flat on the bed, pushed into the mattress by the weight of Inuyasha’s body above her. His arms were folded under her back, holding her so tightly to him that she swore he could feel his heartbeat against her breast, throbbing in time with her own. He assaulted her lips with a passion held back for far too long, driving her tongue back to duel with his own in the no-man’s-land between them. Kagome felt lightheaded, overwhelmed by the masculine aura washing over her. When he pulled away, she lay docilely, eyes closed, breathing hard.
Inuyasha leaned his forehead against hers, out of breath himself. He couldn’t believe it; he couldn’t possibly be about to make love to Kagome. This had to be a dream. But his occasional prurient dreams were never this vivid, and they had certainly never included a declaration of love. His subconscious had eliminated the one phrase which would make him feel the most guilty about doing anything with Kagome. But she did not feel that way, incredible as it seemed. She wanted to be with him, even though nothing was certain. She knew he might end up accompanying Kikyou to hell to fulfill his responsibilities to her, yet Kagome still desired to become one with him. She had offered him everything, even though he could give her no promises in return. And though their joining would certainly make it much harder for him to leave if it came to that, he knew that was not Kagome’s intention. She simply loved him, so deeply that he could not fathom the depths of her adoration, and was willing to content herself with the hope that one day he could return her feelings. All this, for one night. How could he deny her? And he vowed, on his very soul, that for this night at least, he would be completely, entirely hers.
He felt Kagome shift underneath him, her head tilting to the side just enough to bring her lips into contact with his again. They kissed this time with less urgency, and greater intent to enjoy and explore. And despite Inuyasha’s all-consuming focus on their combined mouths, he could not fail to notice when her hands resituated to other parts of his body, one sliding under his shirt to rest on his stomach, and the other firmly gripping his backside through his jeans. That demanding touch pulled his hips forcefully into hers and made him conscious of his growing erection, now straining uncomfortably against the restrictive confines of the modern pants. When he raised his hips slightly to adjust himself, Kagome took advantage of the space to run both her hands up to his chest, sliding his t-shirt out of the way as she went. Inuyasha clumsily pulled his arms through the sleeves and relinquished her lips just long enough to yank the garment over his head.
Kagome’s hands had their way with his now topless form, running over each inch of exposed skin as if seeking to memorize every muscled contour of his lean frame. How long had she wanted to caress him in this way? How long had she been forced to look and not truly touch as she treated his injuries? She could feel his body pulsing under her hands, sending delightful shocks through her nerves. All the while, he continued to plunder her mouth, as she worked on his body.
Inuyasha’s mind was quickly becoming clouded. The myriad of sensations threatened to swell his lust to overpowering levels. The blood raced through his veins; his body felt more alive than ever before. Kagome’s increasingly bold ministrations only added fuel to the fire building within, as did her subconscious yet seductive squirming underneath him. The most animalistic part of him wanted to tear off her clothes and ravish her, but fortunately, he had more control than that. Still, this was all becoming too much for him to bear. If he did not put a stop to the friction down below and the erotic attention to his upper body, he would end up making a fool of himself.
It took a great deal of effort to wrench himself away from her addictive embrace, but somehow he managed. He sat straight up, straddling her hips. Kagome attempted to follow, her hands racing for his chest, but he snatched them out of the air and brought them both down to the bed. Then he linked her slender wrists above her head, holding them both in one of his larger hands. She gazed up at him bemusedly but without trepidation, and perhaps even with a trace of anticipation in her chocolate orbs. He took a few moments to calm down, for all the good it did; he had a feeling his highly agitated body would not cool until he had released himself inside her.
But he was at last in a position to touch rather than be touched, and he did not hesitate. Kagome found her shirt hastily pushed up to her collarbone, her bra following shortly thereafter. Her skin erupted in goose bumps as Inuyasha soaked in the sight of her nearly nude upper body, her thighs shifting unconsciously at the hunger in his enraptured stare. She groaned softly in expectation, arching her back slightly. In the next instant his free hand was on her stomach, attacking her skin in the same way she had been stimulating his moments earlier. Calloused fingers swept across her torso, setting off thousands of tiny detonations in their wake. They were hard hands, belonging to a man whose every day was a fight for survival. And she loved them, just as she loved their owner. If anything, the coarse texture only thrilled her more.
Inuyasha’s palm suddenly settled on her breast, drawing a throaty moan from her. He squeezed and massaged, his movements not gentle but not too rough either. She gritted her teeth and threw her head back as his thumb brushed over a nipple, sending bolts of electricity straight to her core. She struggled feebly with his grip on her wrists, not pleading for release, but wishing his hand would go join its brother in assaulting her body. Inuyasha complied, and Kagome fisted her fingers in the sheets above her head, needing something to ground her as her hanyou-turned-human doubled his pleasuring of her ecstasy-heated form.
Finally, when it seemed the circuits in her breasts and stomach were close to burning out from the intensity of it all, she felt one of his hands sliding lower. She tensed in anticipation, parting her thighs and lifting her hips as he slid his intrepid appendage underneath her two layers of clothing.
Inuyasha felt a surge of male pride at his lover’s pleasured cry and the feel of her damp womanhood. It was he who had made her this wet, he who had her biting her lip as she mewled continuously. And he was quite certain that no one else possessed the ability to make him this hard, so amazingly aroused that all he could think about was sinking into her moist heat. But he could hold himself back for a few moments more, if it meant listening to those delightful moans of hers.
Kagome writhed on the bed, waves of rapture coursing through her body, setting her nerves aflame. In the remote vestiges of her mind still capable of rational thought, she was beginning to suspect that her lover intended to bring her to completion with his fingers. But then his hand was gone, and almost immediately her lower body exposed to the cool air. She dimly felt her jeans and panties being pulled off her ankles, and managed to open her eyes just in time to see Inuyasha shuck his own remaining clothing.
Her eyes widened at the sight of his erection, which seemed huge to her though she obviously had no basis for comparison. It throbbed fiercely, as if engorged by pure liquid lust. Kagome leaned up on her elbows, suddenly feeling a fair bit of apprehension. Was it her, or was this whole thing moving a little too fast? But Inuyasha’s methods, while somewhat crude, had certainly been effective. Physically, she was as ready as she was ever going to be. Mentally…well, she knew of one thing that might help her relax.
Inuyasha was climbing onto the bed now, settling himself over her. But before he could turn his attention to where their bodies would soon be joining, she took his face in both her hands and drew him in for another kiss. She moved her lips languidly against his, keeping her tongue to herself so as to ebb away some of the rampant passion rather than inflaming it further. Inuyasha seemed to understand what she needed, for he responded in kind, and gradually Kagome felt some of the tension in his body abate. The kiss seemed to reaffirm what they had temporarily forgotten, replacing some of the lust with soothing love and affection. And when Kagome pulled away minutes later, she lay back and gazed at him with a lazy smile. Clarity had returned to Inuyasha’s eyes, and her mind was now at peace, fully prepared to accept him into her body.
Inuyasha grinned back, feeling more like himself again. Desire still raged in his veins, but he no longer felt that it was controlling him. His expression softened, his eyes asking for permission. Kagome nodded happily, taking one of his hands and holding it to her bosom again. Humbled to the point of tears by the depth of her love, he blinked rapidly a few times to avoid embarrassment. But Kagome squeezed his hand; she knew. She knew he was struggling with his emotions, and for the life of him, he didn’t care. She was his friend, his lover, a person closer to him than he had ever thought possible. And tonight, she was his. For this one wondrous evening, they belonged to each other.
Breaking her gaze, he positioned himself at her entrance with his free hand. Then he pushed forward, watching her face as the tip of his cock entered her body. She tensed at the unfamiliar sensation, but nodded for him to continue. Slowly, so slowly that every ounce of restraint in his body was tested, Inuyasha pressed his hips forward. He had to grit his teeth to keep from thrusting hard, the sensations of burrowing between her incredibly tight virgin walls seemingly intensified by the slow pace. But he could not do that do her, especially since he could see the discomfort written all over her face. At last, he was sheathed within her to the hilt, and could go no further.
Kagome concentrated on breathing deeply as she adjusted to the new invasion. It was not as painful as she had feared; there had been a sharp pinch, and now a dull ache filled her lower body as her inner muscles were stretched. She was grateful for Inuyasha’s consideration, but refused to allow him to remain motionless any longer; he was obviously straining himself to stay still for her benefit. She rolled her hips, wringing a gasp from his lips, and squeezed his hand to signal her desire for him to move.
Inuyasha knew it was still uncomfortable for her, but found himself unable to resist her persuasion. He drew out and gently pushed back in, then did it again. He quickly established a rhythm, thrusting in time with the grunts and groans wrenched helplessly from his throat. She was so tight; with every movement, her walls seemed to be trying to draw his very essence from his cock. He wanted to slow down, to give her more time to adjust and feel good as well, but her legs wrapped around his hips and her hands ghosting over his back encouraged him to find his own pleasure. He couldn’t resist her; he wasn’t going to last much longer.
Kagome’s smile never wavered as she watched him labor above her. His skin broke out in a fine sheen of sweat, his eyes tightly clenched as he panted sporadically. She rose to meet him, thrusting her hips to bring him as much pleasure as possible. For this wasn’t about her physical needs. She didn’t care about her lingering discomfort, or that she would not reach the type of completion he was hurtling towards at breakneck speed. She was enjoying another kind of completion, one which swelled her heart and brought joyous tears to her eyes.
She jerked suddenly at the flash of a strange sensation. It happened again on his next thrust, as if his cock was hitting somewhere deep inside her, a hidden pleasure zone which sent thrills streaming through her body. Her mind started to become clouded with this bliss, similar to the gratification he had brought her with his fingers, yet deeper, more potent. A moan broke unbidden past her lips, in perfect harmony with his escalating groans. Then, just as suddenly, she felt Inuyasha stiffen above her with a strangled cry, and warm liquid flooded into her belly. Kagome buried her fleeting disappointment, holding him close as ecstasy gripped his shuddering form.
Finally, he collapsed on top of her, breath heaving rapidly against her shoulder. She ran her hands soothingly through his midnight black hair, wishing he had his hanyou ears; maybe he wouldn’t mind letting her rub them in this situation. Eventually, his breathing slowed, and he propped himself on his elbows, gazing down at her with an expression of overwhelming gratitude. She beamed, then leaned up and placed one final chaste kiss upon his lips. She was the grateful one.
A sudden shiver swept through her; evidently she had forgotten to turn up the heat in the hotel room. Funny how she hadn’t noticed the cold until now. Inuyasha did notice her shiver, however, and rose to his feet. He pulled the sheets from underneath her, then laid them over her body. She scooted over so he could climb into bed beside her. He settled in facing her, sparing one more thankful glance before closing his eyes. Kagome was surprised and elated when his hand grasped hers, holding it tenderly as he drifted off.
She watched him sleep for a few minutes, amazed at how peaceful he looked. A common view was that boys became men when they first slept with a woman, but Kagome felt that it worked in reverse for Inuyasha. He looked so innocent, so carefree in sleep; it was as though Inuyasha, already made a man by years of hardship, had reverted back to boyhood for just this one slumber. His childhood had probably been the last time before tonight that he had felt truly loved. And the knowledge that she had been the one to reacquaint him with such love was simply incredible to her. It was probably the most rewarding thing about this night.
But one thing that was not especially satisfying was the stickiness clinging to her inner thighs. Yes, a shower and a change of clothes were definitely in order. Her shirt and bra were still pulled up under her shoulders, not to mention the socks on her feet; Inuyasha had apparently decided not to remove them in his frenzy. It was not as though they had gotten in the way, after all.
Rolling carefully out of bed, Kagome got a fresh set of clothes from her bag and walked to the bathroom. She paused on the threshold, glancing back for one more indulgence in the vision of her lover sleeping soundly. Sighing blissfully, she went to clean herself up.
(1) Japanese love hotels are what you would expect: hotels designed for and marketing to couples who wish to have sex. There is not the social stigma associated with what we might call a “love hotel” here in America, as they are not just used by prostitutes, but also legitimate couples wishing for time alone. It makes sense, considering the population density and extended family structure over there. I found a really interesting and informative article linked to the Wikipedia page, here: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/article490761.ece. Japan-guide.com also had a decent page
(2) The Japanese have a lot of weird flavors of ice cream, like ‘fish’ and ‘wasabi’ for example, but I also found some that we Americans would consider normal
(3) Overall, Japan has a much lower crime rate than the U.S. (surprise, surprise). But where there are cities, there is crime, so Kagome’s experience can’t be that unusual. The lower crime rate could also explain why something so obvious to us (don’t walk alone in the city at night) might not be so obvious to a Japanese person like Kagome. So don’t be too hard on her, folks!
A/N – Well, that was definitely the most unsatisfying lemon I’ve ever written, at least in the purely physical sense. By design, of course. Most people, including myself in the past, portray Inuyasha as being a somewhat better lover the first time, but I think this depiction is realistic too. When the adrenaline starts pumping and the blood starts flowing, it can be hard for a guy to slow down while doing anything, let alone sex. In the words of Jeff Foxworthy, “men are like bottle rockets.” (I love the Blue Collar Comedy specials)
And if it seems like this came out of nowhere, it was supposed to. I’ve been building up the romance pretty much the whole story, but this was a definite leap ahead. But that’s fine too; it’s a fact of life that sex sometimes happens spontaneously, even between people who normally would not act in such a manner. More explanation (or is that justification?) next chapter, when we take a look at the ever-fascinating “morning after.” Until then!
Converting /tmp/phpnHHIEr to /dev/stdout