InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Escape ❯ Searching ( Chapter 19 )

Searching

She leaned against the shovel, staring down at the last grave. Her weariness was finally

starting to show but she wanted to leave something more for the villagers. She left the shovel

leaning against a house and picked flowers growing on the edge of the forest. She left a few on

each grave. When she was done she stood straight and looked around for the shikon. She

spotted it lying under a small tuft of grass. She picked up and dusted it off. *So much blood

over just a small piece of jewel. It needs to end* She tucked it into a small pocket of her

yukata and went into the old baba's house. She borrowed the bow that had been lent to her

along with some food. Walking further west she took one last look at the village and headed

for the destination of the new shard. She could feel it's prickling aura and it was far away.

After an hour of treking she stopped because it was hard to see in the dark. She found a small

cave that was just enough for her to make a fire and sleep.

~She knew where she was before she could open her eyes. Memories taunted her, yet at the

same time, beckoned to her. To remember, to feel again the same pain. This time the dream

had taken her to her secret place by the clearing, where she spotted two lovers kissing. She

didn't know where she got the audacity, but she walked toward the kissing couple. His eyes

were closed and his arms around her were tight. She was clutching his back like it was a

lifeline but her eyes were open. When Kagome moved closer she could see a swirl of emotions

in Kikyo's eyes. It still held the same cold hate, but it was less now. There were regret in those

dark eyes, but most of all, love. Kagome took a step back. So Kikyo truly did love Inuyasha.

Somehow the idea of it didn't rise surprise in her. She took another step back and ran into

something warm. She turned around and looked into the searching eyes of Sesshoumaru. She

couldn't speak because those eyes that always had such a harsh look now looked into her

soul. They were searching her eyes. Looking for something that was fading away. His hand

slowly lifted up and rose to her cheek. She could feel a butterfly's touch before he suddenly

stepped back. He shook his head as if confused. Then everything was as it was before. He

returned to himself, the cruel and emotionless lord of the west. The short dream-like moment

passed. But Kagome was still captured by those searching eyes. The lord looked almost

uncomfortable under her steady gaze. He turned his attention toward Inuyasha and Kikyo.

"Why did you come here?"

"The dream brought me here."

"To torture you perhaps."

"Or to make me remember."

"Do you want to?"

"No." she whispered.

He didn't say anything after that so Kagome spoke up.

"What were you looking for?"

"What do you mean."

"You were looking at me as if you were looking for something. What was it?"

"Nothing." he growled.

"Tell me. What were you looking for?"

He opened his mouth to say something then stopped.

"What were you looking for?"

He turned his gaze to her with eyes that were now hesitant.

"For your love of Inuyasha."

"My love....of Inuyasha?" she swallowed those words. *My love of Inuyasha?*

"Do you still love him?"

"......A part of me says yes. But some parts say no. They love each other. And, somehow, I

know he will never love me as he loves her. But a part of me doesn't want to give up. It holds

on to my love of him, even though it is starting to disappear."

Kagome clutched the spot where her heart was.

"There is conflict in my heart. Both sides are pulling toward different directions. To which I

am, I do not know."

"A conflicted heart." he murmured.

"Will you love him till the end?" he asked.

"Yes, I will. But how, I'm not sure."

"How?"

"Will I love him as I do now? Will I love him as a friend? Will I love him as a companion? But,

when will the end be? When we defeat Naraku? When the jewel is complete? When I go home?"

"You will not stay here?"

"I have nothing here to stay for."

"What of Inuyasha."

"I am still thinking about that. But I know I can't leave my family behind. Once the jewel is

complete I can stay in only one place. I would rather be at home with my family."

"If there is something to stay for?"

"Then...maybe, I'll stay."

The scene changed and they were suddenly in the clearing again.

"What is the point of this dream? Why here? Why with you?"

"I can't answer that."

Kagome sat on the edge of the well. To her astonishment he joined her.

"Have you found your shards yet."

"Just one. I felt another one but it's far. I think Naraku will get them all before me."

"Why do you keep trying."

"I have to. It's my mistake. Might as well clean up my own mess. Hope is the only thing I can

hold on to right now. Hope of defeating Naraku. Hope of completing the jewel. Hope for the

world."

"And you still refuse my help."

"I don't know if I can trust you."

"I don't need my brother's sword anymore. What could I do that would break your trust in

me?"

"Something."

"You are being vague."

"I told you before, I don't trust again the second time so easily. Besides, why do you want to

help me?"

"To repay you."

"Repay me? What did I do for you?"

"You made me realize my father's love for me. Something that I have been searching for in the

past century."

"Oh..."

He got up and stood in front of her.

"Will you accept my help?"

He gave out his hand, just like he had done the last time. She thought for a minute then gently

slid her hand into his~

Kagome woke up to sunlight streaming into the cave. Her fire had gone out sometime in the

night and judging from the position of the sun, it was the late morning. The dream last night

had confused her. Did she really accept his help? As if answering her thoughts he quietly

landed in front of the cave.