Chapter 4: Asking Why

Sesshoumaru sat outside the cave, awaiting word from the healer as to how the girl was doing. Rin was sitting in his lap, sleeping. She had cried for the first hour, before falling asleep from exhaustion. Jaken was sitting on the other side of the cave entrance, not saying a word, for when he had caught up, before he could even ask a question of his lord, Sesshoumaru had given him a look. Jaken had almost run away from him, for the look had perhaps been the most terrifying thing he had ever seen from his lord. So, he had simply sat down on the other side of the cave, waiting, pondering why his lord was acting as he was.

As to what Sesshoumaru his self was thinking, he was horribly confused over what had occurred the past few hours. "Why did I lose control like that?" he thought, noticing that he still had some adrenaline running through his veins. He remembered how it had felt when he realized what happened to Kagome, seeing the arrow in her chest. He had never known he could feel rage so powerful, yet so controlled. Even when he had his arm cut off by his fool half-brother, he had never felt such emotions. What worried him more were the other emotions that had been covered by the rage. Sorrow. Emptiness. Helplessness. It had been many years since he had felt any of these; so long he had almost forgotten what the felt like. The only reason he hadn't was because of why he had felt them… He instantly pulled his thoughts away from those memories. He refused to drown himself in past events. All that mattered was the now. "Obviously, I'll have to keep the girl around longer, so as to see if I can understand why I felt as I did." He had traveled with the girl for all of two days and he was acting as if she was his mate or something… He gave himself a mental slap for the last thought, disgusted with himself for making such an analogy. He needed to figure out what had made him so weak inside, before it destroyed him. "But has it truly made you weak? You have never been able to use the Tetsusaiga before…" he thought, remembering the power that had come form the blade. Even when he had been able to wield it with a human arm, it hadn't felt so… right. Even more, he had used it with his demon arm, which he had never been able to do. "What was it she had said? You can only use it to protect humans?" he thought over this, realizing that his father would have indeed made the seal on the blade work so. In fact, he was surprised he hadn't thought of it earlier.

As he sat there waiting, the healer came out of her cage. Looking over at the healer, he was once again surprised at her looks. Despite the fact that it was said that she over 1000 years old, she looked no older than 30. Yet further proof that demons could indeed live quite awhile if they survived to live that long. She motioned for him to follow. He carefully placed Rin on the ground, standing up. Following the healer into the cave, he stopped a moment, telling Jaken to watch Rin, entering the cave before Jaken could respond. He remained silent while following the healer deeper into the cave, until they entered a lighted cavern. He could smell many herbs and potions, the room smelling overall clean and healthy. On a bed in the corner of the room was the girl, Kagome. He walked over closer to her, looking her over. Her shirt had been removed, but bandages covered her chest. The bandages where the arrow had been were slightly red, and he could smell blood near her. "It took a great amount of work to stop the bleeding." Said the healer, snapping Sesshoumaru out of his observations. Looking over at the healer, she was going through her jars, looking for something. "The dark aura around the arrow not only caused the arrow to become magically fixed to her chest, but after I finally removed it, it prevented the wound from closing. I had to not only stop the bleeding, but destroy the aura as well." The healer continued. "Will she live?" was all Sesshoumaru asked of her. "Oh yes, she might very well recover from this. She will need to stay here for another day or two, and she will need to stay in bed for the next week or so. She lost quite a bit of blood." Nodding at this, he returned his attention to the girl, when he noticed something. All the muscles in her face were tensing up, as if she was in pain. Just as he was about to ask the healer of this, she beat him to it as she came over with a potion of some sort in her hand. "The aftereffects of one of my herbs are starting to take effect, causing her a bit of pain. It will wear off by the morning. This potion here will numb her a bit, putting her in a painless sleep for the night." She said as she began to pour the odd smelling mixture down the girl's throat. As she tended the girl, the healer said, "You need not worry about payment. The challenge of fighting not only her bleeding, but the dark aura as well, was invigorating. It has been many years since I've had to work so hard." Simply nodding, Sesshoumaru continued to watch the girl, her face becoming lax as the medicine took effect. When the healer had her back turned to them, looking through her bottles again, he knelt down near the bed, allowing himself a closer view. He took in her scent, a sweet and clean smell that tickled his nose. He moved his hand near her face, pushing a bit of hair away from her face. He looked at her, trying to decipher her secrets, trying to figure out why she did what she did. No living creature that he knew of, human or demon, would do as she did. Standing up before the healer saw, he began to walk out of the cave, pausing only to speak to the healer. "You will inform me when she may leave, or if something should change." Leaving before she could respond, he left the cavern, exiting the cave. He prepared himself for a hunt, knowing that Rin would be hungry tonight. Taking one last look at the cave, he moved with his demon speed into the forest, scenting the air for any prey nearby.

A good distance away, a certain hanyou, with his companions, a kitsune, a priest, and a demon hunter, were attempting to track our favorite dog-demon. The conversation between these four fellows was anything but friendly. "How could you compare Kagome and Kikyo? They are entirely different, even when Kikyo was alive!" exclaimed Miroku, echoing the general sentiment between him and the others. "How the hell would you know? You weren't even alive then!" Inuyasha yelled back, his nose working full time trying to catch his brother's scent. "Dammit! He went so fast he barely left a scent on the air!" thought Inuyasha, trying to concentrate on his brother's scent. "I've talked to Kaede. Even she says that Kagome is to Kikyo as water is to oil, two entirely different things. And then, Kikyo went and tried to kill Kagome. We can only hope your brother is trying to heal her." Miroku continued, his anger at the hanyou rather evident. Inuyasha growled before yelling back, "Sesshoumaru was lying! Kikyo would never try to do that!" "Then are you suggesting that Sesshoumaru put the arrow into Kagome's chest, an arrow that had a dark aura that I could see from across the field? Nonsense!" exclaimed Miroku. Inuyasha simply ignored him, concentrating on the scent of his brother, having finally caught it again. Miroku sighed, knowing that Inuyasha would simply blow him off. He slowed down his walk, allowing Sango and Shippo to catch up. "What do you think we should do houshi?" Sango whispered to Miroku, Shippo perking his ears so as to hear as well. "I don't know Sango. We will have to decide what to do when we find out what's going on entirely. As is, the only way Sesshoumaru could have the Tetsuigia is if Kagome gave it to him. This makes me think that maybe Kagome is with him on purpose. We will just have to wait and find out." Miroku whispered back. Sango simply nodded and continued walking.

Sesshoumaru sat down with his backside to a tree, settling himself in for rest. When he was finished, Rin laid down next to him, cuddling into his side. Sesshoumaru moved his tail so that it covered Rin like a blanket. Rin sighed contently when the warm tail covered her, sleep quickly taking the child to dreamland. Sesshoumaru himself simply looked at the child for a moment before laying his own head back. Sleep was surprisingly just as quick to take him as well, for not only had the recent battle taken its toll, but the energy put into his high-speed flight had drained him as well. Unlike all the other dreamless nights he usually had when he slept, he was in for a surprising night's sleep.

He was in a forest, all the trees in full bloom, flowers everywhere. It was what one might call a paradise, if such a thing existed. This was exactly what Sesshoumaru did NOT expect to dream about. Flicking a flower away from his face, he started to walk down a road lined in stones. His face looking irritated, he tried to imagine why he was having a dream that was something that Rin would enjoy. Turning a corner he saw his wretched half-brother and the wench near him. His face immediately showed his disgust at such a scene. Quite surprisingly, a feeling of jealousy flared up as his brother hugged the girl. He continued to walk towards them, when his brother whispered something. Had he been human, Sesshoumaru would not have heard his brother call the girl Kikyo, when he knew the girl before him was named Kagome. He was surprised to see the girl wrench herself from his brother's grasp. The girl looked liked she had been stabbed or something. When his brother asked what was wrong, he once again used the name Kikyo. Kagome just stated running farther down the road, as the image that was his brother faded. Sesshoumaru began to follow, when he noticed what was happening to the scenery. The trees were blackening as life began to drain from them, the flower died as vines began to cover them. Shadows began to leap through the trees as if some evil force had entered the forest. Sesshoumaru quickened his pace down the road, for even he was began to get creeped out by the woods.

He finally saw Kagome, sprawled out in the middle of the road as shadows flew around her. She was covering her ears as if trying to not hear, yet she was failing miserably, for she was shouting for them to stop. Knowing that something was wrong, he leapt at her when an arrow went into his arm. Looking over, he saw the corpse from the clearing. It was now that he noticed a strong resemblance between the two women. Deciding he could think over this later, he pulled Tetsusaiga from his belt, destroying the corpse without a second thought. That finished he raced to the girl. Upon passing through the shadows, he was almost brought to his knees by the feelings that began to flood him. Despair. Sorrow. Weakness. They tore at his being, as the voices whispered horrid things to him. Duplicate. Reincarnate. False one. He began to cry, tears flowing from his eyes as he fought the voices, yet failed miserably. Then the voice whispered a name that snapped him out of it. Kikyo. His eyes snapped open as he began to throw barriers up as his mind realized whom the attack was concentrated on. Stumbling to his feet, he picked the girl up; he leapt through the shadows, the voices and feelings disappearing when he exited the circle of shadows. He collapsed next to a tree; exhausted by the mental struggle he had just endured. The girl in his arms had long since stopped screaming, she simply cried, no sobs, she simply laid there shivering as tears leaked from her eyes. He cuddled the girl into his chest, protectiveness flooding him, as he wrapped her in the tail, so as to protect her form the world, she stopped shivering, yet continued to cry until she fell asleep. He himself then allowed his eyes to close as well, the darkness taking him deeper into sleep.

His eyes snapped open. He was breathing hard, a thin layer of cold sweat covering him. Unlike any dream he had ever ha before, he could remember every detail of this dream. Calming himself before he made any movement, he looked over at his side to see that Rin was still fast asleep. He carefully unwrapped his tail from around her, lowering her head to the ground as he slowly stood up. Making sure she was still asleep, he began to head to the cave entrance. As he walked down the passage, he tried to comprehend how a human could live their entire lives feeling emotions as intense as what he had felt. If he, Sesshoumaru, could be brought to his knees, in fact to the point of crying, by something so simple as an emotion, then how could humans live their entire lives with emotions that could be so intense. He shook his head, clearing his head of the unanswerable question.

He finally came upon the cavern where Kagome was. The healer was elsewhere, much to Sesshoumaru's pleasure. He did not want her there to see him with the girl. He walked over to where the girl was, his demon eyes letting him see in the dark as if the sun had taken up residence in the cave. As he thought the girl's face was covered in tears. He kneeled down at the side of the bed, looking upon her face, as a few revelations came about. "I was in her dream." he realized, knowing that he would never have such a dream himself. He began to wonder why she would have such a dream, thinking over the things he knew of his brother, when he remembered who it was who had sealed him to the tree. "Kikyo… Kikyo was the name of the priestess who sealed him. The corpse has been referred to as Kikyo several times, meaning that she is the original. If Kagome is the reincarnation of Kikyo, then…" It all fell into place. Why the girl had given him the blade, why she would betray Inuyasha, why she was willing to travel with him. Even the dream he had just experienced made sense. A slight smirk came to his face. "So dear bother, you made the fool mistake of thinking that a reincarnation is a duplicate of the original. Idiot. Not only is it not true, but also a person such as Kagome would hate being constantly compared to a corpse. Even the small amount of time I have been with her has given me enough insight to realize that much." A dark joy filled him, knowing that his brother had once again destroyed any chance of happiness he could have. "Such is his nature I suppose. Constantly flailing about, harming those he holds close in his idiotic thrashing. You do not deserve someone like Kagome. Just as well, for she is mine now." Blinking, he realized what his last thought had been. He also realized what his hand had been doing, wiping away the tears from her face. He knew he should feel disgusted by such a thought, yet it simply didn't feel like such a bad thing. Realizing that something was going on, that he shouldn't be developing emotions like this so quickly, he resolved to interrogate Kago- the wench what she's done when she's awake.

This decision made, he stood up, and almost walked away when something horrible happened. He had been so busy thinking, he hadn't noticed the fact that his tail had gotten a bit to close to Kagome's hand. He felt a tug on his tail as he walked away. A feeling of pure dread began to fill him as he looked back at his tail. As he had dreaded, Kagome had developed a death grip on his tail. Knowing that any struggle would awaken the healer, he simply sat back down next to the bed, his eyes staying wide open, hoping that Kagome would let go before the healer woke up. He sighed as he watched the young women on the bed pulled his tail closer to her, cuddling the fluffy thing. Sesshoumaru felt a sudden joy as a smile developed on her face. As an hour passed with no relaxation on Kagome's part, Sesshoumaru realized that odds were that he would be stuck close to her for yet another night. Closing his eyes, he allowed sleep to take him again, giving him a thankfully dreamless night.

The healer, after eating a small breakfast and clothing herself, she began to walk through the cavern system that was her home. Upon arriving at the room where her newest patient, she was greeted with a scene that she would never forget. At the side of the bed was the Great Lord Of The West, his tail around the young woman, whom not only grasped the tail like a lifeline, but also had shifted closer to Sesshoumaru, her head buried into his hair. The healer decided that it would be best to find something else to do, and to never EVER let the Great Lord know that she had seen this. As she left the room, a smile graced her face, for she knew that odds were high that the son would find what the father had found.