InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fireside Chats ❯ Part Two: Deep Conversation ( Chapter 2 )

Update: A few clarifications added, fixed some nonsequitur moments, adjusted some grammatical inconsistencies and streamlined the punctuation.

Inuyasha was silent for several minutes, thinking this over. Once the wounds had been dressed, Sango cleaned up the first-aid kit, Miroku scouted the perimeter, setting up a basic shield to prevent unfriendly eyes from seeing Inuyasha in his weakened form, and Kagome convinced Inuyasha to take a potion she'd mixed up for him. "It'll help with the pain, I promise you."

"Keh!" Inuyasha scoffed even as he swallowed the bitter concoction. "Not that it's necessary. Once the sun comes up -- OWW!" He wailed as Shippo tagged him on one of the deeper injuries. "You little wretch! Oh you wait 'til I get my hands on you!"

Shippo blew him a raspberry even as Kagome put restraining hands on Inuyasha. "Humor me, will you?"

"I'll kick your sorry ass, you mess with me, Shippo."

"Now lie down and take it easy," Kagome cajoled, laying out a blanket by the fire. "The painkillers should take effect soon."

"Damn," Sango said in a low voice to Miroku, matching steps with him as he paced the perimeter of their encampment, "what is with him? He doesn't usually obey that meekly."

"I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised if Sesshomaru said something that spooked him." The monk didn't bother following her gaze, chosing to watch his path instead, pacing his steps deliberately in attempt to maintain a seemless, undetectable barrier.

"Oh my word..." Sango's gaze was arrested by a sight she hadn't seen before. Inuyasha was laying with his head in Kagome's lap. "For all their mutual attraction, I never expected... is he asleep?"

Miroku shrugged; "Please don't distract me, Sango. Your company is very much welcome, but I can't keep this barrier up if you keep asking me questions. I'm sorry."

Sango grinned mischievously  at him; "I know the situation is grave, when you aren't interested in groping me. I'll leave you alone now."

As Sango took a seat by the fire, she noted that Kagome was stroking Inuyasha's black hair as though she were petting a cat. Shippo was curled up beside her, his head resting on her thigh, watching the fire dance. Kirara was curled up on Inuyasha's chest, sleeping soundly. Inuyasha, in turn, was apparently also asleep.

"How'd this happen?"

"I gave him some painkillers with hops in them. Put him right to sleep. It won't last long, but sleep is what he needs more than anything right now. And he's so damned stubborn and afraid of the moonless night, he won't sleep otherwise."

"He'll kill you when he finds out what you did to him."

"I'd like to see him try," Kagome chuckled, brushing her fingers across the beaded necklace (she privately referred to it as his "collar") around his collarbone. "I have my own weapon against him, you know."

"Does it work for anyone else, or only you?"

"I don't know, you know. Maybe you should try it sometime. It ought to scare the crap out of him, if nothing else."

Sango laughed heartily. "Maybe someday I will. It should shut him up. He's so damned annoying sometimes!"

Kagome nodded, but Sango noted that her hands never left Inuyasha's hair, and her caresses became momentarily more tender.

I will kill her, that damned wench, Inuyasha thought to himself. I should've known she'd do something like that. Drug me with sleeping drugs, will you? Argh.

He wasn't really asleep. He couldn't sleep. But his body was so exhausted it refused to respond to his commands. And his traitorous body was enjoying her caressing his hair. It had to be the dog nature in him. Dogs loved being petted. It was his dog side that was enjoying this.

Oh who am I kidding? I'm enjoying this too. But damn her anyway.

"Kagome, may I ask you a personal question?" Sango asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Sure."

"You love him, don't you?"

"Well, I love all of you."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Kagome was silent.

"You are in love with him, aren't you?"

"Well, I thought that was obvious."

"Have you ever told him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"What's the use? He loves Kikyo. He said so himself. She gave her life to follow him, and he feels it is only fair that he repays her with his own life."

"Kagome," Sango said gently, "I wonder if that's what he meant. It's been my impression for a while that Inuyasha reciprocates your feelings. He's more human than he realizes."

"He'd kill you for saying that. You know what he thinks of humans! He may not hate them like his brother does, but he doesn't think too highly of them, either."

"Now that you mention it, I don't understand is why it seems to scare him so much to be human. He seems so bent on becoming full demon. But we've seen him as a full demon, and it isn't a pretty picture."

"I don't understand either," Kagome said softly. "He still wants to become a full demon, but.... but how can it be any different than the transformations he's already had? He says that those transformations terrified him. He still gets sick in his stomach at the thought of all the lives he ended so ruthlessly, and how thorough the bloodlust was. Did I ever tell you that he tried to push me away after that incident with Gatenmaru? He was really spooked."

"I figured he must've done something like that. Kagome, I know he loves you. You can tell by the way he looks at you. Whether or not it's the love you want it to be, it's there. As a friend or as a lover, he loves you very deeply, probably more so than Kikyo simply because you have seen him at his worst and still love him for it. He wouldn't want to hurt you, and if you came to be badly injured, or killed, by his own hands, I know he'd never forgive himself, and he'd likely kill himself. By killing himself, I mean he'd probably go berserk and charge headlong into battle with a demon he can't defeat."

"Kamikaze," Kagome murmured.

"What?"

"Kamikaze."

"Divine wind? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh, it's a word from my era. In the second World War, the Japanese adopted a technique against their enemies, where they would fly their planes--uh, think of Kirara as a plane, okay? except that planes aren't live animals--at enemy battleships, crashing them on the ships in hopes of sinking them. It was a suicide mission, making a bomb out of the plane itself, and it was called Kamikaze."

"I can see Inuyasha doing that, if something happened to you. Except the flying part. He doesn't fly."

"He might as well," Shippo interjected. "He jumps like he's got wings."

Sango stared into the firelight for a long time. "I wonder if the Shikon no Tama can really transform him into a full demon or not? I mean, can he even become one? It seems like right now he has a demon's body with a human soul. Wouldn't a full transformation alter that? Take away the soul?"

"What I don't understand," Miroku said, sitting down before the fire as well, "is why his transformed demon form is so similar to his normal one. His eyes go red, his claws get longer, and his fangs get thicker. And as I recall, he gets some bizarre facial markings underneath his eyes. But that's it. No change in size, no transmorphing... I mean, most demons who disguise as humans have a true form that is vastly different. Kagome, you said you saw Sesshomaru's real form. A giant white dog, right?"

"Right."

"Inuyasha's true demon form should be similar, shouldn't it? They have the same demon father."

"But different mothers, which could be the difference," Sango said. "Sesshomaru's mother may have been a dog demon too. Inuyasha's was just a beautiful human woman. That might be the difference. Inuyasha may be unable to fully transform his shape because he's still part human, and humans can't transform."

"What did Inuyasha's father look like?" Kagome blurted. "I don't understand that part."

"I never saw him," Miroku said. "He died a long time ago, remember? Inuyasha is much older than any of us. If I recall correctly, the Inu no Taisho died nearly a century ago. I've seen paintings of him, but they could be fanciful."

"Inu no Taisho?"

"That's what they called him. The Dog General. They say he was a mighty white or silver dog. You've seen his remains, Kagome. We haven't."

Kagome frowned. "That wasn't a dog, necessarily. If I remember correctly, Myoga said that was the Dog General's true form, all other magics nullified. He was enormous. I mean, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha did battle inside his rib cage! Come to think of it, Sesshomaru transformed into his youkai form while inside the remains."

last updated: August 28, 2005