InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Flames of Purgatory ❯ chapter 17 ( Chapter 17 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: rAiNwAtEr 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.21.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 145 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.21.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 145 | Status: Completed
I hope every one likes this chapter. I also hope I am keeping every one in suspense and keeping the characters interesting. There will only be about 2 or 3 chapter left so please keep that in mind. Enough of my ramblings. LOL.
I really love the song that I used for this chapter. It is meant to be read slowly. It is really beautiful and poetic in it's own way. To me it represents a lover who was left by the one they love.
Reviewer Thanks: nicole, Maree, Baby Sess, shady gurl, dah, Demitria Miriam , NeoDarkcloud, Yehudi13, Orme, Shinimegami7, foxykittykat, Narakusluver, Siren Lullaby, Dragon Master03, darkwolvesbite, InuSessyYaoiGirl , MydridFox09, Sydney, GoTrinba, I got a secret, KuraRose, thr3e, Sonny Goten, lilmab207, Kagamoesiun, Reptilian Goddess, Serenity of Paradise, Shi no Yume, sesshy's numba1 gurl , Tyri Dragonite and my wonderful beta, who I couldn't live without - Areil.
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Song Name: Nothing Compares 2 U Song Description: On the CD "I do not want what I haven't got."
Song By: Sinead O'Connor --------------- It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues `Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to youIt's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl you better have fun No matter what you do
But he's a fool `Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
All the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you..
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F lames of Purgatory
Chapter: 17 Inuyasha sat on Sesshomaru's bed with his knees drawn up to his chin while watching the rising sun. It had been three days since Sesshomaru and he made love and he was tossed away. Yesterday, Sesshomaru had left to the college dorms without even giving Inuyasha a fair well, a glance, or anything to even indicate that Inuyasha was even there. It was like Inuyasha was a ghost. Sesshomaru ignored him like the plague. Inutaishou and Sesshomaru had had a huge argument over Sesshomaru moving out, but in the end Sesshomaru proclaimed that he was old enough to make his own decisions.
Inuyasha's persistent tears, the essence of his sorrow, stained his cheeks red and raw. His eyes were blood shot from the lack of sleep. They stung and burned. He cried out in frustration, he cried out in pain, he cried out for his seemingly lost lover, his brother. He couldn't eat or tolerate the sight of food. His lips were chapped and bleeding from his attempts at stifling his screams of agony. His hair was in knots and he adorned the same clothes from three days ago: boxers and a plain white T-shirt. He didn't leave the room except to use the bathroom. The room was covered in Sesshomaru's sent. Inuyasha spent most of his time burying his head in Sesshomaru's bed sheets and his cloths hanging in the closet. Anything that had his scent would do for Inuyasha. He needed to be around that scent, it meant everything to him.
Many things have come to pass the last few days. Amou had paid Inuyasha a visit. The visit only pulled Inuyasha deeper into his despair for it ended solemnly.
( Flash Back - Yesterday. )
Amou sat outside on his front porch. His thoughts repeatedly went from Inuyasha to Kagome. It was a continuing cycle that seems to never end. His eyes trained on the blue sky above. A deep sigh escaped him. No more running, he had to face Inuyasha. With a new strong resolve he heaved himself up and walked down the marble steps to the sidewalk and headed for Inuyasha's house. He was nervous and unsure but he had an obligation as Inuyasha boyfriend to uphold.
Amou's steps didn't falter. He stuck his hands in his jean pants pocket as his feet pounded the sidewalk. Soon he arrived at his destination. He walked up to the beautifully carved wooden door and raised his fist to knock. He haltered and took a deep breath allowing summers sweet sent to fill all of his being. He rapped on the door and waited. A moment later an adorable boy answered the door, which Amou recognized as Inuyasha's stepbrother Shippo. His bright red hair and huge green eyes shone brilliantly.
"Hello," Shippo said with a huge smile. He truly was adorable.
"Oh, hello. My name is Amou, we meet before when I came over for dinner. Is Inuyasha home?"
"Yes. Come in. I remember you."
"Shippo, honey who is at the door?" Azul asked from the living room.
"It's Amou, Mother."
Amou walked into the living room and saw Azul standing in the middle of the room with a smile on her face.
"Nice to see you again. You haven't been around in so long I was beginning to wonder if something had happened to you," Azul said while embracing Amou in a hug.
"Oh, um. I have been busy," Amou stuttered out. Azul could tell something was amiss between Amou and her son but knew it wasn't her place to pry.
"Well, I would have gone to get Inuyasha for you but I have a feeling he won't come down. The poor boy has been depressed for the last few days. Shippo will have to show you to Sesshomaru's room," With that said, Azul left to the kitchen.
"This way," A bubbling Shipo said as he bounced up the cherry wood stairs, Amou in toe. He led him to Shesshomaru's room and left him in front of a closed door. Amou knocked on the bedroom door and when he didn't get an answer he decided to walk in. Inuyasha had just managed to get his concealing spell on.
Amou's heart tore at the sight that greeted him. Inuyasha looked crumpled and worn. His eyes puffy and swollen red. He sat on the floor near a closet with his face buried in a shirt that obviously wasn't his but belonged to Sesshomaru. Timidly Amou walked over to the crumpled boy. He choked back a sob. What had happened?
"Inuyasha?" Amou's voiced out while kneeling before his boyfriend and placing his hands on Inuyasha's shoulders.
"He left me..." a choked voice sounded out. "I'm so alone...and he left," Inuyasha's voice cracked and the words cut Amou to the bone. His agony leaked out like poison from his soul with every word he said. With every tear he shed.
"Who left?" Amou questioned trying to grasp the situation.
"Sesshomaru...I love him...I love him so much,"
Amou's breath caught in his throat. His heart skipped a beat. He knew this was coming but that didn't make it any easier.
"Shh," Amou whispered while taking Inuyasha into his arms and rocking back and forth. Inuyasha needed him at the moment, no matter how much pain he himself was enduring.
For a while, neither Amou nor Inuyasha spoke. Amou continued to rock Inuyasha back and forth. Amou was the first to break the silence.
"You...love him," It wasn't a question it was a statement.
Inuyasha lifted his head off Amou's shoulder and looked directly into his eyes. Pain reflected in both of their eyes. Inuyasha knew he had to set Amou straight. It wasn't right to keep his boyfriend in the dark. Amou could sense what was coming and he braced himself. One look at Inuyasha's eyes told him everything he needed to know; Inuyasha wasn't his to keep, nor was he ever. Inuyasha's heart and soul belonged to another: Sesshomaru.
Inuyasha caught the pain and realization that flashed in Amou's eyes. It made he feel wretched and ashamed. "Amou, I am so sorry. I...I don't know what to say, but I...we can't..." It was too hard to put in to words what he wanted to say.
Amou gave Inuyasha a sad smile. "I know, I know." Tears leaked down his face as he leaned in to give Inuyasha a farewell kiss on the lips. It was light but conveyed a spark of passion that never had the chance to bloom into a full burning fire. It was like a candle being blown out before the wax had time to melt. It was bitter sweet like reading the last page in a romance novel and realizing there are no more chapters to feed your imagination.
"I too, have found a special someone," Amou said. Kagome's face appeared in his minds eye.
Inuyasha smiled. He was truly glad for Amou. He was a sweet person that deserved to be loved.
"I am happy for you Amou. I truly am. Promise me we will still be friends."
"Always," Amou said without hesitation. He couldn't imagine a life without Inuyasha in it. They were both finally being true to their hearts.
"Well, I better go. There's someone I have to see," Amou said while giving Inuyasha a kiss on the cheek and standing up. He walked over to the door and opened it. Before leaving he turned around to look back at Inuyasha. "Go to him. If you love him that much, go to him," Amou turned back around and left, closing the bedroom door behind himself.
"Go to him..." Inuyasha whispered to the silent room.
( End Flash Back - Now Present Time )
Shippo opened the bedroom door startling Inuyasha out of his revere. The little boy bounced over to the bed and climbed on, crawling over to his depressed sibling.
"Do you want to go play PS2?" Shippo asked.
"No," Came Inuyasha's grumpy reply. He didn't even feel like moving at the moment, much less go down stairs to play on a gaming system.
"You miss Sesshomaru, huh?" Shippo said, surprising Inuyasha. The boy could be incredibly insightful at times.
"No. Why would I miss that jerk?" Inuyasha said, turning his gaze from out the window at the sunny blue sky, to Shippo's questioning eyes.
"I can tell. You're only happy when his around and you're fighting. Why don't you go visit him? I am sure he misses you too."
Inuyasha thought it over. Amou and Azul had said the same thing to him at one point or another. Inuyasha gave his little brother a smile. "I'll just have to do that."
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Amou had called Kagome the previous night and had asked her to meet him this morning at the park in between their houses. With things resolved between Inuyasha and himself, he saw no reason not to move forward with Kagome. The girl had grown on him quicker then a weed in a garden.
Yuki was at work so Amou left a note by the phone before he left. He locked the door behind himself. It was another hot day with little breeze. Not a single cloud could be found in the sky.
Amou headed towards the park. He looked down at the watch on his wrist to check the time, it read 7:45 AM. He told Kagome to meet him at 8:00 AM. As he walked into the beautiful park that was surrounded by trees, he headed for the secluded swing set that was near a flowerbed and behind a few huge evergreen trees.
To Amou's surprise, Kagome was already there, sitting on one of the swings looking directly at him with a smile. Amou smiled back and walked over to the empty swing beside her and took a seat. He slowly swung back and forth, soaking in his surroundings. Then he broke the silence.
"I see I am not the only one who was nervous enough to show up early," Slight laughter could be detected in his voice.
"Oh, yes. I am quite nervous. I got up at five in the morning and couldn't get a wink of sleep," Kagome said with a laugh.
"Same here. It would seem that we are a match made in heaven," With that said, Amou looked into Kagome's eyes.
"Does that mean what I think it means?" Kagome asked hopefully.
"Maybe," Amou said meekly, pulling Kagome's stings.
"Amou! Don't play with me," Kagome said while taking a swing at Amou. Amou on the other hand expected it and caught her hand and pulled her down on the grass. Kagome was straddling Amou's waist, the situation was oddly familiar.
"Can I...kiss you?" Kagome asked Amou no more then a breath away from his lips. Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink.
"Only if I can kiss you back," Amou said with a wink. Kagome just smiled and pressed her lips against Amou's. It was soft but Amou soon took command and deepened it. His heart swelled, this was what he had craved: someone that would return his love wholeheartedly.
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Azul tapped her pen on her open notebook. She was sitting on her bed putting together a shopping list for the food market. At the moment her thoughts were centered on Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. It pained her to see her son's in so much pain. Pain that could have been avoided if they weren't so stubborn and her husband kept his nose out of people's business. Yesterday had been a horrible day for everyone. Her mind kept replaying the incident.
( Flash Back - Yesterday, while Sesshomaru was leaving. )
"Who said you could just go off and do things your way! Don't raise your voice to me I am your father and you will treat me with respect," Inutaishou belted out at Sesshomaru. He was far from thrilled with the new arrangements that his son was trying to conduct.
"I am not a child and I want to go back to school early, so be it. I am leaving and that is final," Sesshomaru said back just as hotly. It hurt him to separate himself from Inuyasha but it had to be done. They could never be one and have a relationship, it was immoral and sinful. He had to be strong for both Inuyasha and himself. A nose from behind him caught his attention. It was a sob, a sob that broke his heart.
"Please don't go...please," Inuyasha couldn't fight the tears that dripped from his eyes staining the carpet at his feet. His eyes drilled holes in Sesshomaru's back. He couldn't bare to see his brother walk away.
"Goodbye, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said while heading to the front door. Azul, who was in the background monitoring the argument, was the only one to catch the single tear that fell from Sesshomaru's eye as he walked by her to the door. And just like that, Sesshomaru had left. Although his physical body had left, his sorrow fled with him.
Inuyasha had run up the stairs and the slamming of a door was heard. Shippo, who was watching everything from the kitchen doorway, retreated to his own room. Azul had marched up to Inutaishou with fire in her eyes.
"See what your meddling has done?" Azul shot at her husband.
"Me! This had nothing to do with me. Those two have too much pride and it is costing them everything," Inutaishou shot back.
"I told you once before, that if you play with fire you better be prepared to get burned. And you just got singed Inutaishou. Not only you, but Inuyasha and Sesshomaru have their own scars," With that said she had walked away leaving her husband standing in the middle of the living room by himself.
That same night Azul had visited Inuyasha and told him that he should suck up his pride and bring Sesshomaru back home, because believe it or not, all Sesshomaru really wanted was someone to tell him everything was going to be all right.
( End Flash Back - Now Present)
As Azul came out of her revere, she notice tears were gliding down her cheeks. She wiped them away with a shaken hand. She placed a bookmark to mark her place before closing her book and placing it on the nightstand by the bed. She got out of bed intending to wash her face before going the market. She also had to make sure Shippo got ready to go with her. Quickly washing her face she told Shippo to grab the keys on the table and headed out side. The once beautiful clear blue sky was now tainted gray.
"Oh dear, I think it will rain," Azul said to herself before getting in the car and telling Shippo to buckle his seatbelt and took off.
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Inuyasha slowly pulled on his gray hoody and then a pair of black cargo pants. His mind was made up, he was going to see Sesshomaru and bring him back where he belonged; home, and with him. Tears slid down his face as he brushed out his hair. He grabbed his CD player and walked out of Sesshomaru's room and down the stairs. He grabbed the spare keys to the house and locked the door behind himself. He had borrowed his father's cell phone and checked to see in it was in his pocket as he walked to the bud stop.
As Inuyasha waited at the bus stop the heavens opened up and rain descended on the Earth. The clear droplets rolled over him like tears from the angel’s up above. The rain matched his gray mood. Nothing could be heard but the pitter-patter of the rain and the cars passing by. The sky was gray and slowly getting darker. No one seemed to be out in the rain except him. Once again Inuyasha felt alienated by the world. He morbidly thought if Eve had felt like this when she was thrown out of the garden of paradise. A sad smiled graced his face.
The bus finally pulled up and Inuyasha boarded showing the bus driver his bus-pass. The bus was deserted so Inuyasha had a choice from any one of the seats. He chose to sit in the back near the window. He took out his CD player and placed the headphone pieces in his ears and turned up the volume. He watched the scenery pass by. He felt numb and cold. The rain streaked the windows reminding him of the many tears he had shed these past few days. A new wave of shame washed over him like the rain pelting the window.
"Boys don't cry," Inuyasha whispered to himself.
Inuyasha thought about everything that had happen since the beginning of school. He thought of the many football games he had played; some won, some lost. He thought of the kiss that he had shared with Amou under the weeping willow tree. He thought of the time Sesshomaru had made-out with him on the kitchen table and the fateful Sunday dinner when Amou had come over. He thought of the few stolen kisses he got from Sesshomaru and two kisses he had shared with Miroku. Some memories hurt him deeply but most of them made the corner of his lip twitch up in a smile. The many memories made with his friends and family were bitter sweet. They meant everything to him.
The bus soon pulled up at the university Sesshomaru was staying at. Inuyasha put his CD player away and got off the bus. The rain was really coming down now. It almost seemed as if mother nature herself knew what was going to happen. Evil butterflies turned Inuyasha's stomach upside down making him sick. His black hair stuck to his face as the rain pelted him harshly, he didn't care. The slight sting that the rain brought him distracted him from his nervousness.
The campus was surrounded by trees and green grass. He walked up to the stairs to the massive wooden door. He pushed it open revealing a huge entrance. The floors were marble with white and black swirls. The ceilings were high with many round roman-like arches and beams. The whole inside of the dorms had a renaissance feel to it. The halls were dimly lit like the inside of those old historian libraries. As Inuyasha walked inside his wet sneakers made squeaky noses on the polished floor. He headed for the front office that was off to his right. He asked the lady behind the counter for Sesshomaru’s dorm room number. She looked it up in the computer and told him he was on the top floor room number 207.
Inuyasha thanked the women and headed for the staircase. His cloths were drenched and sticking to him. His lips were a deep rosy red from the cold rain. He looked slightly pale from the lack of food and sleep. With every step he took up the ever-climbing staircase, he became even more nervous. However, he was too desperate to turn back. The only thing that waited for him at home was a broken heart and a silent bedroom that once belong to his brother.
After a while of climbing, Inuyasha reached the second floor landing. He was breathing a little heavier then normally but nothing like a cigarette junky. He walked down the long dim hallway searching for room 207. He found it all the way at the end. He swallowed his pride and knocked on the door. It seemed like an eternity before he heard movement on the other side of the door and then the shifting of the lock. He held his breath and watched the door handle turn and the door part. God, he was nervous.
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Sesshomaru sat at his desk staring out at the pouring rain. He was in the middle of his homework but couldn't stay focused. He felt dead inside without Inuyasha. To him, everything in the world lost its beauty the day he left a pleading Inuyasha behind. He had finally hit rock bottom and he was drowning in a sea of sadness that threatened to take over his whole being. A salty tear, a shard of his broken soul, leaked from the corner of his eye. His insides felt shriveled and dead. His heart and soul withered away left to be blown away by the fickle wind and cruel rain.
His phone rang. He looked down at his cell phone debating if he should answer it or not. In truth he didn't feel like doing anything. If he could he would just stop breathing, living, and existing. He gave up on his morbid thoughts and answered his cell phone.
"Sesshomaru speaking," His tone was anything but friendly.
"Hello Sesshomaru. It's Yuki."
Sesshomaru didn't respond. He didn't feel like talking. He wanted to crawl under his bed and die. Time apart from Inuyasha was like not being able to see the sun. It was a pain that echoed from his toes to his heart and the bottom of his soul.
"Is there something you wanted?"
"No. I just called to see how life is treating you. I haven't spoke to you since we went on that date," Yuki said conversationally, not missing the way Sesshomaru sounded depressed.
"I'm breathing," Was Sesshomaru's curt reply.
A silence enveloped the two. The only sound that could be heard was the pelting rain outside. Yuki sighed. He knew what was going on. Amou had informed him sometime ago about the odd relationship between Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. He didn't want to believe it but he knew something was up. Now it all made sense.
"You love him don't you?" Yuki asked bluntly.
Sesshomaru didn't say anything but with his silence, Yuki got his answer.
"If you love him, don't let him get away. If you let him slip through your fingers you'll never be able to live with your self. Do you love him?" Yuki repeated himself.
There was a pause then Sesshomaru's answer. "Yes."
"Then the only question left is what are you going to do about it?" Yuki let the question hang in the air between the two and then said his good night and hung up the phone. Sesshomaru looked at the phone in his hand for a moment as if it would give him all the answers and then put it down on the table. A knock at his bedroom door caught his attention.
Sesshomaru stood up and walked over to the door, unlocking it and opening it slowly. His heart caught in his throat when he saw it was Inuyasha.
Inuyasha looked Sesshomaru straight in the eyes and let him see all that he was. He put his pride away and allowed the tears that plagued his soul to be released. His bottom lip trembled and his throat burned.
"What are you doing here," Sesshomaru asked after gaining a shard of his composure.
Inuyasha tried to get the words out that he needed to say. His throat constricted from the tears preventing the words from coming out. All he ever wanted and all he ever need was standing right in front of him.
"Just go home Inuyasha," Sesshomaru forced the cold words past his lips.
"I can't...because I'm broken," Inuyasha whispered. It was now or never.
"What are you talking about? Just go home. You won't even notice me missing in a few weeks. You can just go hang out with Miroku or Amou," Sesshomaru persisted. Every word was like over-dosing on a pill of agony.
"Don't you realize..." Inuyasha started, catching Sesshomaru's full attention and looking him right in the eyes.
"Don't you know...nothing compares to you?" Tears were pouring down his cheeks but Inuyasha didn't care.
"God, nothing can ever compare to you," Inuyasha took a big breath and continued. "I love you Sesshomaru. I love you so much that it hurts."
Sesshomaru didn't know what to say. What could he say? Inuyasha was telling him everything he wanted to hear. There Inuyasha stood pouring out his heart. Here stood his brother drenched from the rain, pale and tired looking, telling him that he loved him. To Sesshomaru, Inuyasha never looked more beautiful.
"Please..." Inuyasha whispered through his trembling lips. "Please say you love me...that you need me...and...that you want me," Inuyasha walked up to the Sesshomaru wrapping his shaking arms around him. He leaned up to press his chilled lips on Sesshomaru's warm ones.
"Please..."
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TBC
( End Chapter )
I know this is another cliffy, but I couldn't help it. As you might notice, this story is sadly coming to an end. Please review and let me know if you like this chapter. I hope I did well with the angst. Suggestions are always welcomed. I cherish every review so please send them.
I really love the song that I used for this chapter. It is meant to be read slowly. It is really beautiful and poetic in it's own way. To me it represents a lover who was left by the one they love.
Reviewer Thanks: nicole, Maree, Baby Sess, shady gurl, dah, Demitria Miriam , NeoDarkcloud, Yehudi13, Orme, Shinimegami7, foxykittykat, Narakusluver, Siren Lullaby, Dragon Master03, darkwolvesbite, InuSessyYaoiGirl , MydridFox09, Sydney, GoTrinba, I got a secret, KuraRose, thr3e, Sonny Goten, lilmab207, Kagamoesiun, Reptilian Goddess, Serenity of Paradise, Shi no Yume, sesshy's numba1 gurl , Tyri Dragonite and my wonderful beta, who I couldn't live without - Areil.
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Song Name: Nothing Compares 2 U Song Description: On the CD "I do not want what I haven't got."
Song By: Sinead O'Connor --------------- It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues `Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to youIt's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl you better have fun No matter what you do
But he's a fool `Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
All the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you..
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F lames of Purgatory
Chapter: 17 Inuyasha sat on Sesshomaru's bed with his knees drawn up to his chin while watching the rising sun. It had been three days since Sesshomaru and he made love and he was tossed away. Yesterday, Sesshomaru had left to the college dorms without even giving Inuyasha a fair well, a glance, or anything to even indicate that Inuyasha was even there. It was like Inuyasha was a ghost. Sesshomaru ignored him like the plague. Inutaishou and Sesshomaru had had a huge argument over Sesshomaru moving out, but in the end Sesshomaru proclaimed that he was old enough to make his own decisions.
Inuyasha's persistent tears, the essence of his sorrow, stained his cheeks red and raw. His eyes were blood shot from the lack of sleep. They stung and burned. He cried out in frustration, he cried out in pain, he cried out for his seemingly lost lover, his brother. He couldn't eat or tolerate the sight of food. His lips were chapped and bleeding from his attempts at stifling his screams of agony. His hair was in knots and he adorned the same clothes from three days ago: boxers and a plain white T-shirt. He didn't leave the room except to use the bathroom. The room was covered in Sesshomaru's sent. Inuyasha spent most of his time burying his head in Sesshomaru's bed sheets and his cloths hanging in the closet. Anything that had his scent would do for Inuyasha. He needed to be around that scent, it meant everything to him.
Many things have come to pass the last few days. Amou had paid Inuyasha a visit. The visit only pulled Inuyasha deeper into his despair for it ended solemnly.
( Flash Back - Yesterday. )
Amou sat outside on his front porch. His thoughts repeatedly went from Inuyasha to Kagome. It was a continuing cycle that seems to never end. His eyes trained on the blue sky above. A deep sigh escaped him. No more running, he had to face Inuyasha. With a new strong resolve he heaved himself up and walked down the marble steps to the sidewalk and headed for Inuyasha's house. He was nervous and unsure but he had an obligation as Inuyasha boyfriend to uphold.
Amou's steps didn't falter. He stuck his hands in his jean pants pocket as his feet pounded the sidewalk. Soon he arrived at his destination. He walked up to the beautifully carved wooden door and raised his fist to knock. He haltered and took a deep breath allowing summers sweet sent to fill all of his being. He rapped on the door and waited. A moment later an adorable boy answered the door, which Amou recognized as Inuyasha's stepbrother Shippo. His bright red hair and huge green eyes shone brilliantly.
"Hello," Shippo said with a huge smile. He truly was adorable.
"Oh, hello. My name is Amou, we meet before when I came over for dinner. Is Inuyasha home?"
"Yes. Come in. I remember you."
"Shippo, honey who is at the door?" Azul asked from the living room.
"It's Amou, Mother."
Amou walked into the living room and saw Azul standing in the middle of the room with a smile on her face.
"Nice to see you again. You haven't been around in so long I was beginning to wonder if something had happened to you," Azul said while embracing Amou in a hug.
"Oh, um. I have been busy," Amou stuttered out. Azul could tell something was amiss between Amou and her son but knew it wasn't her place to pry.
"Well, I would have gone to get Inuyasha for you but I have a feeling he won't come down. The poor boy has been depressed for the last few days. Shippo will have to show you to Sesshomaru's room," With that said, Azul left to the kitchen.
"This way," A bubbling Shipo said as he bounced up the cherry wood stairs, Amou in toe. He led him to Shesshomaru's room and left him in front of a closed door. Amou knocked on the bedroom door and when he didn't get an answer he decided to walk in. Inuyasha had just managed to get his concealing spell on.
Amou's heart tore at the sight that greeted him. Inuyasha looked crumpled and worn. His eyes puffy and swollen red. He sat on the floor near a closet with his face buried in a shirt that obviously wasn't his but belonged to Sesshomaru. Timidly Amou walked over to the crumpled boy. He choked back a sob. What had happened?
"Inuyasha?" Amou's voiced out while kneeling before his boyfriend and placing his hands on Inuyasha's shoulders.
"He left me..." a choked voice sounded out. "I'm so alone...and he left," Inuyasha's voice cracked and the words cut Amou to the bone. His agony leaked out like poison from his soul with every word he said. With every tear he shed.
"Who left?" Amou questioned trying to grasp the situation.
"Sesshomaru...I love him...I love him so much,"
Amou's breath caught in his throat. His heart skipped a beat. He knew this was coming but that didn't make it any easier.
"Shh," Amou whispered while taking Inuyasha into his arms and rocking back and forth. Inuyasha needed him at the moment, no matter how much pain he himself was enduring.
For a while, neither Amou nor Inuyasha spoke. Amou continued to rock Inuyasha back and forth. Amou was the first to break the silence.
"You...love him," It wasn't a question it was a statement.
Inuyasha lifted his head off Amou's shoulder and looked directly into his eyes. Pain reflected in both of their eyes. Inuyasha knew he had to set Amou straight. It wasn't right to keep his boyfriend in the dark. Amou could sense what was coming and he braced himself. One look at Inuyasha's eyes told him everything he needed to know; Inuyasha wasn't his to keep, nor was he ever. Inuyasha's heart and soul belonged to another: Sesshomaru.
Inuyasha caught the pain and realization that flashed in Amou's eyes. It made he feel wretched and ashamed. "Amou, I am so sorry. I...I don't know what to say, but I...we can't..." It was too hard to put in to words what he wanted to say.
Amou gave Inuyasha a sad smile. "I know, I know." Tears leaked down his face as he leaned in to give Inuyasha a farewell kiss on the lips. It was light but conveyed a spark of passion that never had the chance to bloom into a full burning fire. It was like a candle being blown out before the wax had time to melt. It was bitter sweet like reading the last page in a romance novel and realizing there are no more chapters to feed your imagination.
"I too, have found a special someone," Amou said. Kagome's face appeared in his minds eye.
Inuyasha smiled. He was truly glad for Amou. He was a sweet person that deserved to be loved.
"I am happy for you Amou. I truly am. Promise me we will still be friends."
"Always," Amou said without hesitation. He couldn't imagine a life without Inuyasha in it. They were both finally being true to their hearts.
"Well, I better go. There's someone I have to see," Amou said while giving Inuyasha a kiss on the cheek and standing up. He walked over to the door and opened it. Before leaving he turned around to look back at Inuyasha. "Go to him. If you love him that much, go to him," Amou turned back around and left, closing the bedroom door behind himself.
"Go to him..." Inuyasha whispered to the silent room.
( End Flash Back - Now Present Time )
Shippo opened the bedroom door startling Inuyasha out of his revere. The little boy bounced over to the bed and climbed on, crawling over to his depressed sibling.
"Do you want to go play PS2?" Shippo asked.
"No," Came Inuyasha's grumpy reply. He didn't even feel like moving at the moment, much less go down stairs to play on a gaming system.
"You miss Sesshomaru, huh?" Shippo said, surprising Inuyasha. The boy could be incredibly insightful at times.
"No. Why would I miss that jerk?" Inuyasha said, turning his gaze from out the window at the sunny blue sky, to Shippo's questioning eyes.
"I can tell. You're only happy when his around and you're fighting. Why don't you go visit him? I am sure he misses you too."
Inuyasha thought it over. Amou and Azul had said the same thing to him at one point or another. Inuyasha gave his little brother a smile. "I'll just have to do that."
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Amou had called Kagome the previous night and had asked her to meet him this morning at the park in between their houses. With things resolved between Inuyasha and himself, he saw no reason not to move forward with Kagome. The girl had grown on him quicker then a weed in a garden.
Yuki was at work so Amou left a note by the phone before he left. He locked the door behind himself. It was another hot day with little breeze. Not a single cloud could be found in the sky.
Amou headed towards the park. He looked down at the watch on his wrist to check the time, it read 7:45 AM. He told Kagome to meet him at 8:00 AM. As he walked into the beautiful park that was surrounded by trees, he headed for the secluded swing set that was near a flowerbed and behind a few huge evergreen trees.
To Amou's surprise, Kagome was already there, sitting on one of the swings looking directly at him with a smile. Amou smiled back and walked over to the empty swing beside her and took a seat. He slowly swung back and forth, soaking in his surroundings. Then he broke the silence.
"I see I am not the only one who was nervous enough to show up early," Slight laughter could be detected in his voice.
"Oh, yes. I am quite nervous. I got up at five in the morning and couldn't get a wink of sleep," Kagome said with a laugh.
"Same here. It would seem that we are a match made in heaven," With that said, Amou looked into Kagome's eyes.
"Does that mean what I think it means?" Kagome asked hopefully.
"Maybe," Amou said meekly, pulling Kagome's stings.
"Amou! Don't play with me," Kagome said while taking a swing at Amou. Amou on the other hand expected it and caught her hand and pulled her down on the grass. Kagome was straddling Amou's waist, the situation was oddly familiar.
"Can I...kiss you?" Kagome asked Amou no more then a breath away from his lips. Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink.
"Only if I can kiss you back," Amou said with a wink. Kagome just smiled and pressed her lips against Amou's. It was soft but Amou soon took command and deepened it. His heart swelled, this was what he had craved: someone that would return his love wholeheartedly.
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Azul tapped her pen on her open notebook. She was sitting on her bed putting together a shopping list for the food market. At the moment her thoughts were centered on Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. It pained her to see her son's in so much pain. Pain that could have been avoided if they weren't so stubborn and her husband kept his nose out of people's business. Yesterday had been a horrible day for everyone. Her mind kept replaying the incident.
( Flash Back - Yesterday, while Sesshomaru was leaving. )
"Who said you could just go off and do things your way! Don't raise your voice to me I am your father and you will treat me with respect," Inutaishou belted out at Sesshomaru. He was far from thrilled with the new arrangements that his son was trying to conduct.
"I am not a child and I want to go back to school early, so be it. I am leaving and that is final," Sesshomaru said back just as hotly. It hurt him to separate himself from Inuyasha but it had to be done. They could never be one and have a relationship, it was immoral and sinful. He had to be strong for both Inuyasha and himself. A nose from behind him caught his attention. It was a sob, a sob that broke his heart.
"Please don't go...please," Inuyasha couldn't fight the tears that dripped from his eyes staining the carpet at his feet. His eyes drilled holes in Sesshomaru's back. He couldn't bare to see his brother walk away.
"Goodbye, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said while heading to the front door. Azul, who was in the background monitoring the argument, was the only one to catch the single tear that fell from Sesshomaru's eye as he walked by her to the door. And just like that, Sesshomaru had left. Although his physical body had left, his sorrow fled with him.
Inuyasha had run up the stairs and the slamming of a door was heard. Shippo, who was watching everything from the kitchen doorway, retreated to his own room. Azul had marched up to Inutaishou with fire in her eyes.
"See what your meddling has done?" Azul shot at her husband.
"Me! This had nothing to do with me. Those two have too much pride and it is costing them everything," Inutaishou shot back.
"I told you once before, that if you play with fire you better be prepared to get burned. And you just got singed Inutaishou. Not only you, but Inuyasha and Sesshomaru have their own scars," With that said she had walked away leaving her husband standing in the middle of the living room by himself.
That same night Azul had visited Inuyasha and told him that he should suck up his pride and bring Sesshomaru back home, because believe it or not, all Sesshomaru really wanted was someone to tell him everything was going to be all right.
( End Flash Back - Now Present)
As Azul came out of her revere, she notice tears were gliding down her cheeks. She wiped them away with a shaken hand. She placed a bookmark to mark her place before closing her book and placing it on the nightstand by the bed. She got out of bed intending to wash her face before going the market. She also had to make sure Shippo got ready to go with her. Quickly washing her face she told Shippo to grab the keys on the table and headed out side. The once beautiful clear blue sky was now tainted gray.
"Oh dear, I think it will rain," Azul said to herself before getting in the car and telling Shippo to buckle his seatbelt and took off.
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Inuyasha slowly pulled on his gray hoody and then a pair of black cargo pants. His mind was made up, he was going to see Sesshomaru and bring him back where he belonged; home, and with him. Tears slid down his face as he brushed out his hair. He grabbed his CD player and walked out of Sesshomaru's room and down the stairs. He grabbed the spare keys to the house and locked the door behind himself. He had borrowed his father's cell phone and checked to see in it was in his pocket as he walked to the bud stop.
As Inuyasha waited at the bus stop the heavens opened up and rain descended on the Earth. The clear droplets rolled over him like tears from the angel’s up above. The rain matched his gray mood. Nothing could be heard but the pitter-patter of the rain and the cars passing by. The sky was gray and slowly getting darker. No one seemed to be out in the rain except him. Once again Inuyasha felt alienated by the world. He morbidly thought if Eve had felt like this when she was thrown out of the garden of paradise. A sad smiled graced his face.
The bus finally pulled up and Inuyasha boarded showing the bus driver his bus-pass. The bus was deserted so Inuyasha had a choice from any one of the seats. He chose to sit in the back near the window. He took out his CD player and placed the headphone pieces in his ears and turned up the volume. He watched the scenery pass by. He felt numb and cold. The rain streaked the windows reminding him of the many tears he had shed these past few days. A new wave of shame washed over him like the rain pelting the window.
"Boys don't cry," Inuyasha whispered to himself.
Inuyasha thought about everything that had happen since the beginning of school. He thought of the many football games he had played; some won, some lost. He thought of the kiss that he had shared with Amou under the weeping willow tree. He thought of the time Sesshomaru had made-out with him on the kitchen table and the fateful Sunday dinner when Amou had come over. He thought of the few stolen kisses he got from Sesshomaru and two kisses he had shared with Miroku. Some memories hurt him deeply but most of them made the corner of his lip twitch up in a smile. The many memories made with his friends and family were bitter sweet. They meant everything to him.
The bus soon pulled up at the university Sesshomaru was staying at. Inuyasha put his CD player away and got off the bus. The rain was really coming down now. It almost seemed as if mother nature herself knew what was going to happen. Evil butterflies turned Inuyasha's stomach upside down making him sick. His black hair stuck to his face as the rain pelted him harshly, he didn't care. The slight sting that the rain brought him distracted him from his nervousness.
The campus was surrounded by trees and green grass. He walked up to the stairs to the massive wooden door. He pushed it open revealing a huge entrance. The floors were marble with white and black swirls. The ceilings were high with many round roman-like arches and beams. The whole inside of the dorms had a renaissance feel to it. The halls were dimly lit like the inside of those old historian libraries. As Inuyasha walked inside his wet sneakers made squeaky noses on the polished floor. He headed for the front office that was off to his right. He asked the lady behind the counter for Sesshomaru’s dorm room number. She looked it up in the computer and told him he was on the top floor room number 207.
Inuyasha thanked the women and headed for the staircase. His cloths were drenched and sticking to him. His lips were a deep rosy red from the cold rain. He looked slightly pale from the lack of food and sleep. With every step he took up the ever-climbing staircase, he became even more nervous. However, he was too desperate to turn back. The only thing that waited for him at home was a broken heart and a silent bedroom that once belong to his brother.
After a while of climbing, Inuyasha reached the second floor landing. He was breathing a little heavier then normally but nothing like a cigarette junky. He walked down the long dim hallway searching for room 207. He found it all the way at the end. He swallowed his pride and knocked on the door. It seemed like an eternity before he heard movement on the other side of the door and then the shifting of the lock. He held his breath and watched the door handle turn and the door part. God, he was nervous.
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Sesshomaru sat at his desk staring out at the pouring rain. He was in the middle of his homework but couldn't stay focused. He felt dead inside without Inuyasha. To him, everything in the world lost its beauty the day he left a pleading Inuyasha behind. He had finally hit rock bottom and he was drowning in a sea of sadness that threatened to take over his whole being. A salty tear, a shard of his broken soul, leaked from the corner of his eye. His insides felt shriveled and dead. His heart and soul withered away left to be blown away by the fickle wind and cruel rain.
His phone rang. He looked down at his cell phone debating if he should answer it or not. In truth he didn't feel like doing anything. If he could he would just stop breathing, living, and existing. He gave up on his morbid thoughts and answered his cell phone.
"Sesshomaru speaking," His tone was anything but friendly.
"Hello Sesshomaru. It's Yuki."
Sesshomaru didn't respond. He didn't feel like talking. He wanted to crawl under his bed and die. Time apart from Inuyasha was like not being able to see the sun. It was a pain that echoed from his toes to his heart and the bottom of his soul.
"Is there something you wanted?"
"No. I just called to see how life is treating you. I haven't spoke to you since we went on that date," Yuki said conversationally, not missing the way Sesshomaru sounded depressed.
"I'm breathing," Was Sesshomaru's curt reply.
A silence enveloped the two. The only sound that could be heard was the pelting rain outside. Yuki sighed. He knew what was going on. Amou had informed him sometime ago about the odd relationship between Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. He didn't want to believe it but he knew something was up. Now it all made sense.
"You love him don't you?" Yuki asked bluntly.
Sesshomaru didn't say anything but with his silence, Yuki got his answer.
"If you love him, don't let him get away. If you let him slip through your fingers you'll never be able to live with your self. Do you love him?" Yuki repeated himself.
There was a pause then Sesshomaru's answer. "Yes."
"Then the only question left is what are you going to do about it?" Yuki let the question hang in the air between the two and then said his good night and hung up the phone. Sesshomaru looked at the phone in his hand for a moment as if it would give him all the answers and then put it down on the table. A knock at his bedroom door caught his attention.
Sesshomaru stood up and walked over to the door, unlocking it and opening it slowly. His heart caught in his throat when he saw it was Inuyasha.
Inuyasha looked Sesshomaru straight in the eyes and let him see all that he was. He put his pride away and allowed the tears that plagued his soul to be released. His bottom lip trembled and his throat burned.
"What are you doing here," Sesshomaru asked after gaining a shard of his composure.
Inuyasha tried to get the words out that he needed to say. His throat constricted from the tears preventing the words from coming out. All he ever wanted and all he ever need was standing right in front of him.
"Just go home Inuyasha," Sesshomaru forced the cold words past his lips.
"I can't...because I'm broken," Inuyasha whispered. It was now or never.
"What are you talking about? Just go home. You won't even notice me missing in a few weeks. You can just go hang out with Miroku or Amou," Sesshomaru persisted. Every word was like over-dosing on a pill of agony.
"Don't you realize..." Inuyasha started, catching Sesshomaru's full attention and looking him right in the eyes.
"Don't you know...nothing compares to you?" Tears were pouring down his cheeks but Inuyasha didn't care.
"God, nothing can ever compare to you," Inuyasha took a big breath and continued. "I love you Sesshomaru. I love you so much that it hurts."
Sesshomaru didn't know what to say. What could he say? Inuyasha was telling him everything he wanted to hear. There Inuyasha stood pouring out his heart. Here stood his brother drenched from the rain, pale and tired looking, telling him that he loved him. To Sesshomaru, Inuyasha never looked more beautiful.
"Please..." Inuyasha whispered through his trembling lips. "Please say you love me...that you need me...and...that you want me," Inuyasha walked up to the Sesshomaru wrapping his shaking arms around him. He leaned up to press his chilled lips on Sesshomaru's warm ones.
"Please..."
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TBC
( End Chapter )
I know this is another cliffy, but I couldn't help it. As you might notice, this story is sadly coming to an end. Please review and let me know if you like this chapter. I hope I did well with the angst. Suggestions are always welcomed. I cherish every review so please send them.