InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Good for a Laugh ❯ Laugh Till It Hurts ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own `em.

 

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“He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.” The Koran

 

“Ew! Get it off! Get it OFF!”

 

Typically Sango's kills were quick, clean, and effortless, so Kagome could understand why the mess they'd just made was disconcerting to her. Still, seeing the slayer writhing and flailing her arms in an attempt to remove a bit of some demon's lower intestines from between her shoulder blades got the better of her. She hadn't meant to snicker. Really.

 

Miroku was about to come to the rescue, but anything involving him and Sango's backside was bound to come to blows, so Kagome took pity, shuddering a little herself, and swatted the gooey rope off her friend.

 

“Thanks, Kagome-chan.” Sango ground out between clenched teeth.

 

Kagome had the good sense to blush and apologize. Inuyasha huffed and crossed his arms, glaring balefully at the two women.

 

“Keh! That was pathetic. Since when did you two get so… female?”

 

“I'm surprised at you, Inuyasha,” Miroku began in an educational tone, his eyes lighting with mischief. “Any man but a blind one could see that Sango and Kagome have always been quite feminine in innumerable ways. For example, when viewed from behind…”

 

“Our hair! He was going to comment on our well-kept hair.” Kagome broke in.

 

While Miroku's manner of dealing with Inuyasha's temper was, in a very private way, nothing short of hilarious to Kagome, Sango's ire was reaching the boiling point and Inuyasha had turned a charming shade of pink. Plus, they were still standing in a field of swiftly rotting demon guts that smelled like a combination of wet cat food and Buyo's litter box. Kagome was just a little bit curious as to what particular features Miroku was going to extol - Bet he's an ass man - but here and now were not the time and place.

 

Miroku's shoulders slumped in disappointment, and Kagome shot him a quick pleading look: Funny, but not now, please?

 

“Oi! Kagome. Shard?”

 

A man of few words… here comes my favorite part.

 

Picking her way across the field toward the pink glow of the Shikon that she was blessed/cursed with the ability to see, she steeled herself, hand over her nose and mouth.

 

“Mmeeeww… Iphs inf phe frain.”

 

“What was that Kagome-sama?” Miroku inquired solicitously.

 

Bet he's enjoying this. Karmic payback for ruining his moment.

 

“It's in the brain,” she called back nasally, pinching her nose shut. Why me?

 

“Guess its enhancing powers aren't location-specific, because that pig demon was pretty slow on the uptake.” Kagome giggled in spite of herself, caught a generous whiff of the thing's entrails, and gagged.

 

“Excellent observation, Sango.” Miroku concurred.

 

Traitors. Perhaps Sango would have preferred if I let Miroku help her?

 

Anxious to get the shard retrieval over with, Kagome bent down gingerly and picked the sharp, glowing object out of the demon's pulverized cranium. She noted, out of the corner of her eye, that Miroku cocked his head to follow her movement.

 

Yep, ass man for sure. Not a tough call, really.

 

Cradling the dark violet, almost black, shard in the palm of her hand she concentrated and watched the glassy thing lighten to a translucent pink, feeling the euphoric kind of wonder that never seemed to fade after all the years. Me. I did this, all on my own.

 

The euphoria vanished, though, as she turned to scamper back to her friends and slipped on a slick puddle of blood. Arms windmilling, she just barely managed to salvage her footing and continued at a slower pace toward the smirking monk, giggling taijiya, and concerned looking fox-child. Inuyasha just frowned.

 

“Clumsy wench.”

 

Ungrateful prick. “At least we have the shard now, Inu-kun.” She allowed herself the affectionate nickname he hated as payback, mentally thanking her 15-year-old self for christening it.

 

“Keh!” and he turned his glower to Sango. “Speaking of clumsy, that was pretty sloppy work for you, Sango. This took us way longer than it should have.”

 

“Oh yeah?! Well maybe if you didn't charge in every time without stopping to think for a second we wouldn't end up in this kind of mess!” she shot back.

 

“This is nothing compared to the mess you'd be in without me!”

 

“Really? I seem to recall having beat your ass at least once!”

 

Inuyasha was fuming and Sango was shaking with rage, so of course Miroku took this moment to sneak up and caress her rear with his gloved right palm, squeezing lightly. Ire turned to indignation instantly and Sango whipped around to backhand Miroku with all the vehemence she'd built up towards Inuyasha.

 

Miroku actually staggered a bit - it was a lot harder than she usually hit him - and covered his reddened and probably bruised cheek with a hand. In his eyes, though, there was a smile behind the pain.

 

A noble sacrifice.

 

Miroku threw Kagome a wink for the success of his tactic as Sango simultaneously apologized profusely - she hadn't meant to hit that hard - and scolded him - “Really, pervert, is it too late to cancel our agreement?” But she didn't mean it and he knew it. Kagome just sighed her appreciation for his kamikaze tactics. Miroku was the pressure valve on their group, always there to smooth things over with a bit of surprisingly sage advice or defuse a tense situation with a bawdy joke or leering innuendo. Not for the first time she wondered what his life would have been like without the curse in his palm, the kazaana - a void of nothingness that claimed all in its path, the antithesis to all that he gave freely to others.

 

He would have made some woman a very happy wife. Will make someone happy. Kagome corrected herself. As soon as this is over they'll fulfill their promise to each other.

 

As soon as this is over. A phrase that Kagome found herself repeating more and more often. When Naraku is gone. As soon as the darkness has passed.

 

But how long?

 

Resolutely squashing the question, Kagome turned an almost-too-bright smile to Inuyasha and sniffed around the sting of coming tears in her nose.

 

He still looked pissed. What to do? She didn't get a chance to come up with an answer because Miroku, still feigning a daze, threw his arm around Kagome, the other slung over Sango's shoulders. Boy he's really milking this, she thought and resigned herself to shouldering her share of the not entirely holy burden. Sango murmured her thanks. At least between the three of them things were mended.

 

“Let's go, idiots.”

 

Shippou lept up to Inuyasha's shoulder and by way of asking for leniency on their behalf, pronounced, “They are just human,” with all the infinite superiority that only a child could muster.

 

Still not appeased, Inuyasha turned his back and started walking. Kagome made a mental note to give the fox-child a stern talking-to later. As far as father figures went, Inuyasha wasn't much help - of course now of all times he chose to tolerate the kit.

 

Sango and Kagome followed glumly and Miroku continued to enjoy his present position between the two ladies: the best of all possible worlds he could think of. And he would take advantage of it. After a minute or two Kagome noticed his right hand creeping its way down from her shoulder toward the v-neck of her tank top. Screaming in frustration, Kagome smacked the offending hand and ducked out from under his weight.

 

“What now?!” Inuyasha turned just in time to see the miko energy crackle from Kagome's fingertips and engulf the monk's hand like a lightening rod, pink and sizzling, for an instant.

 

The silence was deafening.

 

More stunned than pained, Miroku stared at his own palm incredulously. Sango pedaled backwards, her eyes wide and round. Kagome burst into tears.

 

Ironically, Inuyasha grasped the significance of what had happened first. He threw back his head and howled with laughter. A full-throated laugh that shook his whole body. Miroku's brow furrowed and he looked at the sniffling Kagome with a mixture of shock, embarrassment, and wounded pride. Sango had pressed her lips together and clapped a hand over her mouth, her shoulders shaking with repressed laughter.

 

Shippou stared quizzically up at Miroku from the ground, having been thrown off by Inuyasha's convulsions. “Wait, I don't get it. If she purified you, then you'd have to be…”

 

Kagome scooped him up and smothered his snout in her hand.

 

“I'm sorry, Miroku. So, so sorry. Really sorry…” she babbled.

 

Inuyasha continued to heave with laughter, crowing in delight at Miroku's evident impurity and Kagome's consternation. Not that they all hadn't known he was a lecher, but…

 

Recovering some of her composure, Kagome hissed “Sit, boy!” and the beads around his neck glowed as he was forced to the ground in time honored fashion.

 

Face still buried in the dirt, Inuyasha's chuckles continued float up from the crater he'd formed.

 

Sango was turning purple, a muffled, high pitched squeal emanating from behind her hand.

 

Shippou finally freed himself from Kagome's hands and cackled for all he was worth, rolling around on the ground in childish delight.

 

Having realized Miroku was unharmed, Kagome's apologies trailed off and she couldn't keep a rueful smirk from twisting her lips. She looked into his eyes, entreating.

 

At least we're all laughing instead of yelling at each other, huh?

 

Finally shaking it off, Miroku sighed in resignation and rubbed the back of his neck wearily.

 

“Glad you all find this good for a laugh. I'm here to help, really.”

 

The chuckles from the crater were now interspersed with gasps and hiccups as Inuyasha staggered to his feet, wearing a ridiculous grin and a layer or two of the road.

 

“Way to go, lech. You probably deserved to be zapped… nice work, Kagome.”

 

Now he compliments me. Figures.

 

“Really, Kagome, you're getting a lot better at that,” Sango added.

 

But I wasn't trying…

 

“Your point, from priestess to monk, is well taken. My apologies, Kagome-sama.”

 

But…

 

They had already turned to leave, Miroku casting Sango an apologetic glance as well. Shippou was bounding after Inuyasha, the two of them still grinning like idiots.

 

Kagome threw up her hands exasperatedly and trudged on after them.

 

Why me? Why him?! He'd been so good and self-sacrificing today.

 

Truth No. 4: Because no good deed goes unpunished.

 

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That evening Kagome considered Truth No. 5: Hot springs are nice, but in no way do they compare to a hot bath.

 

Granted, Kagome was warm and on her way to being clean after the day's gruesome task, but there were pebbles digging into her ass. And the sulfur aroma of this particular thermal pool was a little stronger than average. But still, taking the time to relax in the warm, slightly fizzy water was better than studying for a test, which was surely what she would have been doing instead if she were still in high school.

 

“Kagome-chan?” Sango still had her eyes closed, head resting on a rock at the edge of the pool.

 

“Hmm?” she responded lazily.

 

“Don't you have any tests to study for?”

 

And she reads minds, too!

 

“No, Sango, I'm done with that.” Pause. “Unless I decide to go to college, that is.”

 

Sango shifted a bit and sank lower into the water, humming in satisfaction.

 

Then, “But I thought that was why you worried about the tests.”

 

“Yeah, but I'm just not sure…” Not sure where I belong anymore.

 

She had been accepted at Tokyo University, by the skin of her teeth, and her mother had made it clear that, while she fully understood her daughter's quest to undo the damage she'd done in shattering the Shikon jewel, she wanted Kagome to consider what would come… after. Kagome didn't want to think about after. And she didn't know if she was up for four more years of school.

 

“Well, I'm sure you'd be good at college. Which reminds me, you really are getting better at using your sacred arrows… and apparently you're improving at hand-to-hand as well.” Sango cracked an eye open and smiled slyly at the other girl.

 

Kagome blushed, thinking back to another man she'd tried to fry - a bit more intentionally.

 

“They're stupid powers. Come on! Pink lightening? It's not like it even does any good without the arrows.” She recalled the frustration and helplessness she'd felt in Shesshoumaru's grasp. Under Sesshoumaru's weight.

 

“But your power comes from your soul, right? You've always been kind and gentle. I don't think it's surprising you'd have problems really hurting anyone you cared about.”

 

What?! Oh, she means Miroku…

 

“You all right?” Sango sat up and leaned towards Kagome. “You look flushed. Maybe you've been in the heat too long.”

 

“No, it's nothing. You're right, though. We should head back to camp.” Sango cast a look of slight disbelief at Kagome, but decided to let it be. Raising herself up out of the water, she reached for a towel.

 

Simultaneously, there was a rustling in the bushes and what sounded suspiciously like a gasp of delight.

 

“Damn hentai monk! You'd think he'd had enough for today.”

 

“I don't think he'll ever tire of your… attentions, Sango. Go on, I can gather our things up.”

 

Nodding severely, Sango wrapped her outer kimono tightly around herself and stomped off in into the foliage. Kagome just laughed softly to herself and stepped out of the water, reached for her backpack, and began rummaging for a dry towel, all the while muttering imprecations at men and their slow learning curves.

 

Another scuffle from the bushes. In the opposite direction. Kagome turned toward it, hands on hips in consternation.

 

“Not you too, Inuyasha!”

 

“Not hardly,” a voice purred in her ear, breath ghosting across her damp neck.

 

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This chapter is shorter than the first, I know, but that one was originally intended as a one-shot. And sorry about the cliffhanger. It was either end it there or go on for about twice as long. I've got three or four more chapters mapped out my head already. All I lack is the time to write them, so bear with me. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and faved this story.

 

For those that are curious, this will still be a Sess/Kag thing, but this “thing” is going to be a lot longer than I ever intended and there will be some detours for the sake of the end I have in mind. Hang in with me? Expect another update sooner than this one.